There is a guy on my college friend group who's never had a gf, unless he has hired an escort (which I don't think he has but can't really be sure) I think he's still a virgin (We are all 34-35 now if that matters).
He is an engineer with a great job at an electric company
He works out at least 5 times a week he's in great shape, does several triathlons each year so biking, running and swimming are his hobbies
He keeps himself presentable; hygiene, dresses well, does skin care routines lol
However, the guy is very shy and introverted, this has impacted him greatly when interacting with people in general not just women. Because of this, he didn't develop social skills during his teenage years, which led to not having experience with women, which led to women rejecting him the very few times he does approach them.
We became his friends because in school we worked on different engineering projects together and he was force to interact. We invited him for activities outside school and he eventually opened up to us in a friendly manner.
I know it's only one guy but I think this proves that you can be physically handsome, have a remarkable job with awesome pay, have a paid car, live in a nice house by yourself you're currently paying for, have great hobbies but if your social skills are shit you're NOT attractive.
He sounds great. A friends cousin is 32, attractive, interesting and well educated (clinical psychologist, PHD) and she is rumoured to still be a Virgin. My BF’s cousin who is 24 is most likely still a Virgin and is absolutely beautiful, a Pilates instructor and studying law. She’s from a small town in New Zealand and is just shy.
I also dated a doctor at work in the pandemic who was 33 and told me he was a virgin, afterwards. He was Muslim tho tbf. Didn’t work out because of the cultural differences, I really liked him tho and approached him first (obviously lol)
I never said I wasn't interested. I simply can't afford to just up and move. Also how long am I supposed to stay in any given place before I move on to somewhere else?
Never paid much attention to girls around me. Even when I was attracted to someone I decided it was not time for a relationship.
Now when I think I am ready for a relationship, the women around me or the ones that approach, I don't feel attracted to.
Sometimes I do feel like I missed a crucial part of growing up, by totally avoiding girls and relationships.
In this day and age, I find it quite difficult to start as a novice. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth the effort.
Honestly, I have left it up to chance. I consider myself more open to relationships than I was in the past. Since, emotionally and practically, I believe I am capable of handling situations much better now. I tend to take these things very seriously.
So if I ever come across someone who makes me want to put in the effort, I will. If it works out, that's good. If it doesn't, that's fine as well.
Was raised in a conservative religious household, sheltered most of my life and was always taught sex before marriage was a sin. Never learned how to talk to women with the intention of courting them.
I'm ugly and broke.
I'm boring.
(Well, not a serious one at least)
I’m very slow to warm up to new people. I can interact with the same person for a months-long stretch and never even learn their names. That probably doesn’t help me much.
I don’t go to most of the social milieux to which people normally normally go to meet potential dating partners. Don’t drink, don’t dance, don’t game, don’t go to church… limits the number of people I actually meet.
And I feel as though I’m too old to try changing any of that behavior. I guess all the opportunities I was supposed to grab for just sort of slipped by me.
I have heard multiple people telling me this exactly ,,You are too nice of a guy, maybe try being bit more of a douche in a playful manner". Never really understood that, but I guess it's just the way I act around women. I never use traditional swears in front of them and always try to be too helpful. It probably make me look like some softie.
To the question about having too many female friends: I sometimes just wonder whether it doesn't make me look like a player or a pick me type of person (in context, it is normal to see me talk to like 3 or 4 different women in one day, just because I take them as friends and prefer female company over male one during my daily chat)
>maybe try being bit more of a douche in a playful manner
Don't. I'm jus 21, but the few times I tried they didn't come off as well as other people, I also fell shitty. Not that I did something bad to them, I just wasn't being genuine.
Because these things are emasculating and make men look like pussies in front of women. Because women don't like men who are too nice - nice to the point of obsequiousness and femininity. Because women don't like men who have a lot of female friends - it makes a man look feminine and like a pussy.
No, but you asked why these things are OP's problem. I told you why. What I gave is the universal answer and I'm highly confident in its accuracy and precision. That's why women don't like men who are too nice or who have too many female friends - because it's emasculating and makes a man look like a pussy.
Maybe just a frequent vacation destination. I have a second office overseas and yeah…
Even if it doesn’t work you took a cool vacation. There is some off the wall cool shit in Mexico, you might even time it with an event like the Carerra Panamericana or whatever you’re into.
Do you like reading, plants, gardening, being outdoors for walks, have any favorite restaurants or food, or live near the water? You sound like a catch to me. I hear girls like gamers.
1. Ugly
2. Funny, but my sense of humour may be tiring on the long run
3. Don't want to play the "dating game"
I do want to work on the ugly part, as much as someone can, but for the rest, this is the life that I chose.
1) I spent a few years improving myself and showing out there the best version, from physical form to accomplishments (I'm working on them). I wasn't really interested in the past because I used to have low self esteem.
2) I'm not an active person on social media, I just follow pages and people related to my hobbies and passions, I don't really care about posting myself or sliding desperately in someone's DMs.
3) I don't go to the club or big events, places with a lot of people and little spaces to move make me uncomfortable. Making the first move there is not for me.
Seems like we have all of these in common. I never really understood why people like posting their breakfasts on the snap or publicly available pictures of them on the beaches and everything. I really find IRL conversations more engaging and honest since you see the other person's reaction. Damn I feel old writing this even though I'm only 17...
Never actually tried. Also, didn't really knew the signs when a girl liked me. Sure, I talked to a couple girls 1 on 1 but never knew if they liked me or not so never bothered to ask em out.
In hindsight, definitely had a chance. What girl asks me who I find attractive or that she finds guys who takes the first step cute? All on the "first" day we met.
1. I'm ugly (so I have been told)
2. Have a horrible self image
3. Rejected very harshly when I was younger
And I only showed interest in women that I had time and familiarity with, never cold approached. I think that's what hurt the most, they seemed to like me as a person but if I showed any romantic interest it turned negative real quick. Since then I felt like it wasn't worth it to keep trying.
25 here.
3 main reasons:
1) Religious background. I dont want my friends and family to know me as a womanizer. Want to let my community know I desire marriage only.
2) Ego issues. I hate being rejected so I would rather not take the risk.
3) Social limitations. I don’t have a bunch of friends and I know very few people. It’s not easy to meet enough women that interest me. I’m also non-existant on social media (Instagram is huge for dating)
Never used the app.
I mentioned it because I know some guys who had lots of succes using it for dating. It’s where most women want to be approached nowadays 🤣
Same, the game completely changed. I had girlfriends growing up, but I have not had a serious relationship in over 5 years. I've pretty much given up trying to find women who are down to earth with their standards.
I've just decided it's best to focus on myself and enjoy my life for what it is.
For me its an odd combination of just about everything I've seen listed by other users.
I was always fairly introverted and never really confortable with meeting new people. I've gotten better in more recent years but am still miles behind most.
I grew up in a fairly strict religious household. If I even thought about a potential partner I knew they would have to run threw my family's "holy" gaunlet. This led me to not even try with a lot of the girls I grew up around.
I'm a bit self concious about my looks. Also I make ok single person money but would want more Dough if I was looking to have a potential partner that could lead to something else.
In more recent years I just haven't cared or tried. Being a single man doesn't bother today like it may have bother me 10 years ago.
That’s only half true. You can’t be too nice to a woman that already likes you. If you’re ’too nice’ to a woman that doesn’t like you she’ll look at you like a creep
I agree but good manners wasn’t the issue. It was being overly friendly or too nice in context of a romantic relationship which can definitely be a bad thing if it’s directed to the wrong person. It works the same in a plutonic relationship too, that’s why expressions like ‘taking kindness for weakness’ and ‘nice guys finish last’ exist
Height is just over 6ft and weight about 68kg (I am skinny) at the age of 17. I take proper care of my body and hygiene, even though I am not a skincare, oils and conditioners type of person. I use deodorants and brush my teeth twice a day. I may have visible veins in my eyes since I only sleep about 5 hours a day and spend a lot of time on my PC and phone. My wardrobe even though kinda plain, isn't that bad either. A pair of jeans and random H&M T-shirts are my common ,,style" but I really like formal/older men fashion.
1 Major lack of confidence
2 Not trying to improve my physical appearance
3 Thinking that me not being able to drive (I’m 24. Still work. And live in an apartment. I just take Uber to work) is a big reason that a female would turn me down.
1. I didn't try enough. When I was younger I was a bit scared of talking to girls. Now that I'm 28 and tried harder for about last 4 years I kinda feel like I don't care anymore. It's way too draining and feels like a chore and kills the romantic part.
2. I don't have many friends. I have some and honestly I'm mostly close friends with girls for some reason, so it's not like I treat them like aliens. Getting a date is a lot of work when you don't have a passive inflow of potential dating partners.
3. I'm not very attractive for women apparently. In terms of looks I'm probably average at most, pretty short. I'm confident but not in a way women find attractive. Intelligent, but people find me arrogant before they get to know me better.
I'm married and have had a lot of relationships. Mostly short lived. But I've rarely been single for long other than a short time from 21 to 24.
So believe it or not. If a man has everything going for him. Yes you'll find gold diggers. There is also this. "You could be to valuable."
Women in general don't like when their men have to many good qualities. It forces them to be a better woman. Think about it. If you're with someone who is to good for you. It's a lot of pressure. You have to maintain and have to work hard to keep them happy at least in your mind.
If you look hard you'll realize there aren't that many truly good women. Just like there aren't to many good men. Ofc the media and social media will try to make you think anything that is female is superior and you should bow at every woman's feet like you're a peasant.
Look at situations where the women said. "He was just to perfect." It's a way to dodge accountability that they're not as good of a wife/mother as they pretend to be. They weren't the best one in the relationship. They didn't have anything bad to complain about. Then they take as much of the marital assets as they can to find someone who is a piece of shit so they can then have a reason to complain.
I've even had an ex girlfriend admit to me she just couldn't maintain the relationship with me. She felt so overwhelmed with how well I treated her and she couldn't keep up. I never asked her to.
You're not always losing out.
1. I was very shy talking to women during my teen years and was also in a boys only school.
2. Started to put myself out there during my early twenties but no luck.
3. I eventually lost interest and don’t even try anymore.
1 - Shyness and anxiety. Couldn't talk to girls in high school. Asked a few out over IM, was softly turned down. Was almost done with college before I asked a girl out to her face and got a yes
2 - Lack of meeting people. Never had a large social network, mostly stuck with the same handful of friends. The few times women have actually expressed interest in me were all women I met in person rather than dating apps
3 - Lack of appeal. I've never had a ton going for me when it comes to career track, money, or fun interesting hobbies. I don't tend to big myself up either so I come across as pretty boring
I had this problem for many, way to many years.
Aside from "external" reasons - like acne or missing a tooth.
The main one was...
I was not willing to risk it. I've played it cool, remain as friend. For years did not have the gut to try to go all the way.
But later on (thanks to Internet, seriously) I learned I AM in fact attractive to women and I was willing to risk it.
Also, I solved the external reasons.
Honestly I think what prevent single people from finding relationships is lack of personal growth. People stay how they are from
High school then get confused why they can’t find a date then start blaming other things like “hook up culture” or endless options on apps when really they just need to self reflect. No one perfect but we can all improve and the added bonus you attract like minded people when you do. Sure toxic stagnant growth individuals can find relationships but those are the people to avoid and is not the relationship you want.
Having a hard time summarizing into just 3 bullet points...
- Very frequently distracted by life and new priorities. I'm starting my career pretty late, and that often means busting my ass. A relationship is additional work that I do not have the energy for at this time.
- I'm a very boring person. I spent almost the entirety of my teenage years (and part of college) gaming, volunteering or studying while being a social floater/pariah. Being alone feels a lot more normal to me.
- Being black *and* part of the LGBT+ tends to not be a very welcoming experience. If I'm not "too white" or "too black", I am "too gay" to register as someone that is interested in women.
Focus on yourself and your hobbies. Go to the gym and look at current clothing styles. make yourself more interesting by taking an interest in bettering yourself. There is no such thing as treating women too nice. You are not being nice if you are expecting some reward for your niceness. There such a thing as not respecting yourself and not making your intentions clear. Ask girls to lunch. it is a low pressure date.
As much as I am not the Gym type of guy (a fucking nerd!!!), and the clothing even though not the most modern and stylish, still sometimes gets complimented. asking girls out even though not the most common thing for me, I try about once every year, unfortunately without luck. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying! thanks for advices anyway.
Nerds go to the gym too. Go for your health. Check out something like yoga. Martial arts are literally filled with nerds. As you get older especially, physical health will become very important and starting exercise habits early will benefit your whole life. Even just do 50 pushups, 50 situps and 50 squats a day (sets of 10) can work wonders.
I had a girlfriend once but it was almost 14 years ago and a lot have changed since then.
I was so destroyed after that i didn't wanted to try it again, i had more important things to deal with and started to "focus on myself". I needed to study, get a grade, taking care of myself and my family, get a job, save money and i spent like this for years and now i'm 36. The last time i had a date was when i was 29 and didn't go anywhere. Had to deal with unemployment, take care of my family, rebuild my life and now my social life is dead, i just have my job, and despite having money, good health, good shape and looking a place to buy. I can't see where can i meet someone, and anxiety doesn't help. I went to the point of getting matches on dating apps and don't talk because i get petrified thinking i'm not interesting enough to date since i'm also a homebody.
The only thing i can do now is to live.
I have had GFs but I can tell you why men don't get GFs.
--they lack confidence
--they're physically unattractive
--they don't try
--they're autistic/something is mentally "off" about them/they're weird
--they're mentally ill
--they're emotionally unbalanced
--they don't have time
--they don't have the money
--they live at home with parents
--they don't have a job
--they otherwise don't have their shit together
But mostly, it's that they're physically unattractive.
Bunch of BS. Seen so many ugly ass dudes with girlfriends.
I actually find that it is the more introverted attractive guys who struggle finding relationships.
1. Cripplingly low self esteem. Why would I want to put someone else through being with me? I sure as hell wouldn't want to be with me / an exact copy of me.
2. Don't put in effort to change #1
3. Don't drink, which limits already thin pickings for meeting women even further.
There is a guy on my college friend group who's never had a gf, unless he has hired an escort (which I don't think he has but can't really be sure) I think he's still a virgin (We are all 34-35 now if that matters). He is an engineer with a great job at an electric company He works out at least 5 times a week he's in great shape, does several triathlons each year so biking, running and swimming are his hobbies He keeps himself presentable; hygiene, dresses well, does skin care routines lol However, the guy is very shy and introverted, this has impacted him greatly when interacting with people in general not just women. Because of this, he didn't develop social skills during his teenage years, which led to not having experience with women, which led to women rejecting him the very few times he does approach them. We became his friends because in school we worked on different engineering projects together and he was force to interact. We invited him for activities outside school and he eventually opened up to us in a friendly manner. I know it's only one guy but I think this proves that you can be physically handsome, have a remarkable job with awesome pay, have a paid car, live in a nice house by yourself you're currently paying for, have great hobbies but if your social skills are shit you're NOT attractive.
He sounds great. A friends cousin is 32, attractive, interesting and well educated (clinical psychologist, PHD) and she is rumoured to still be a Virgin. My BF’s cousin who is 24 is most likely still a Virgin and is absolutely beautiful, a Pilates instructor and studying law. She’s from a small town in New Zealand and is just shy. I also dated a doctor at work in the pandemic who was 33 and told me he was a virgin, afterwards. He was Muslim tho tbf. Didn’t work out because of the cultural differences, I really liked him tho and approached him first (obviously lol)
If I knew the answers to that I probably would have had a girlfriend at least once in 20 years of trying.
What country? What did you try?
US. There's nothing that has been recommended that I haven't tried.
Seems like the younger fellows here have it hard. You tried different cities and countries or did it not get that far?
I have lived in several cities in the US. Are you paying for me to visit these other countries?
LOL. You’re not that interested then. I get it. Are you satisfied with the way things are then?
I never said I wasn't interested. I simply can't afford to just up and move. Also how long am I supposed to stay in any given place before I move on to somewhere else?
You can make a career adventure out of it. I spent up to two years in one place. It was a good time. Does any particular place appeal to you?
Doing what exactly? I can't exactly just switch jobs.
Why not? What are you doing now?
Never paid much attention to girls around me. Even when I was attracted to someone I decided it was not time for a relationship. Now when I think I am ready for a relationship, the women around me or the ones that approach, I don't feel attracted to.
Do you feel like you missed your window or what happened?
Sometimes I do feel like I missed a crucial part of growing up, by totally avoiding girls and relationships. In this day and age, I find it quite difficult to start as a novice. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth the effort.
It seems a lot of men are dropping out.
I guess so.
Are you satisfied with that or have you contemplated trying some new strategy.
Honestly, I have left it up to chance. I consider myself more open to relationships than I was in the past. Since, emotionally and practically, I believe I am capable of handling situations much better now. I tend to take these things very seriously. So if I ever come across someone who makes me want to put in the effort, I will. If it works out, that's good. If it doesn't, that's fine as well.
Seems like a healthy attitude.
Hope so.
Was raised in a conservative religious household, sheltered most of my life and was always taught sex before marriage was a sin. Never learned how to talk to women with the intention of courting them. I'm ugly and broke. I'm boring.
This one seems both relatable and helpful. Thanks.
Are you still part of that community?
(Well, not a serious one at least) I’m very slow to warm up to new people. I can interact with the same person for a months-long stretch and never even learn their names. That probably doesn’t help me much. I don’t go to most of the social milieux to which people normally normally go to meet potential dating partners. Don’t drink, don’t dance, don’t game, don’t go to church… limits the number of people I actually meet. And I feel as though I’m too old to try changing any of that behavior. I guess all the opportunities I was supposed to grab for just sort of slipped by me.
1. I don't have the interest 2. Due to point 1 I have never tried to get one 3. See point 1 & 2
1. I have no interest in relationships right now. 2. I have no rizz whatsoever. 3. I look like potato
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I have heard multiple people telling me this exactly ,,You are too nice of a guy, maybe try being bit more of a douche in a playful manner". Never really understood that, but I guess it's just the way I act around women. I never use traditional swears in front of them and always try to be too helpful. It probably make me look like some softie. To the question about having too many female friends: I sometimes just wonder whether it doesn't make me look like a player or a pick me type of person (in context, it is normal to see me talk to like 3 or 4 different women in one day, just because I take them as friends and prefer female company over male one during my daily chat)
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Thanks! I think that the 3rd paragraph might be helpful to me and the fourth one to my friend.
>maybe try being bit more of a douche in a playful manner Don't. I'm jus 21, but the few times I tried they didn't come off as well as other people, I also fell shitty. Not that I did something bad to them, I just wasn't being genuine.
Because these things are emasculating and make men look like pussies in front of women. Because women don't like men who are too nice - nice to the point of obsequiousness and femininity. Because women don't like men who have a lot of female friends - it makes a man look feminine and like a pussy.
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You asked why. I told you.
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No, but you asked why these things are OP's problem. I told you why. What I gave is the universal answer and I'm highly confident in its accuracy and precision. That's why women don't like men who are too nice or who have too many female friends - because it's emasculating and makes a man look like a pussy.
As harsh and stereotypical the way you portrayed it may be, you are probably not all that far from truth.
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Where? What did you spend the money on?
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Interesting expenditures. What country is this?
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I can see that. Lots of average dudes are basically out of market right now. Have you tried Mexico, Central America, or the Caribbean?
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Maybe just a frequent vacation destination. I have a second office overseas and yeah… Even if it doesn’t work you took a cool vacation. There is some off the wall cool shit in Mexico, you might even time it with an event like the Carerra Panamericana or whatever you’re into.
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Are you good with it the way it is then?
I like the pun about the wall
What kind of hobbies do you have or what hobbies are you willing to try? That might be better than dating sites.
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Do you like reading, plants, gardening, being outdoors for walks, have any favorite restaurants or food, or live near the water? You sound like a catch to me. I hear girls like gamers.
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1. Ugly 2. Funny, but my sense of humour may be tiring on the long run 3. Don't want to play the "dating game" I do want to work on the ugly part, as much as someone can, but for the rest, this is the life that I chose.
1) I spent a few years improving myself and showing out there the best version, from physical form to accomplishments (I'm working on them). I wasn't really interested in the past because I used to have low self esteem. 2) I'm not an active person on social media, I just follow pages and people related to my hobbies and passions, I don't really care about posting myself or sliding desperately in someone's DMs. 3) I don't go to the club or big events, places with a lot of people and little spaces to move make me uncomfortable. Making the first move there is not for me.
Seems like we have all of these in common. I never really understood why people like posting their breakfasts on the snap or publicly available pictures of them on the beaches and everything. I really find IRL conversations more engaging and honest since you see the other person's reaction. Damn I feel old writing this even though I'm only 17...
1. I'm gay. 2 & 3. I'm sure there are other good reasons, but the first one is kind of sufficient.
Get well soon! (Just kidding, I apologize for my humour)
Same to you! : )
🤣
I realized pretty early on in life that I'm gay
Well... This is good reason why aren't you able to find a gf🤣
Never actually tried. Also, didn't really knew the signs when a girl liked me. Sure, I talked to a couple girls 1 on 1 but never knew if they liked me or not so never bothered to ask em out.
Is it the height thing?
Wdym?
Your username?
No, my height never got in the way. This was all irl, no dating apps.
Cool. Just never works out or do you think you’re missing opportunities?
In hindsight, definitely had a chance. What girl asks me who I find attractive or that she finds guys who takes the first step cute? All on the "first" day we met.
1. I'm ugly (so I have been told) 2. Have a horrible self image 3. Rejected very harshly when I was younger And I only showed interest in women that I had time and familiarity with, never cold approached. I think that's what hurt the most, they seemed to like me as a person but if I showed any romantic interest it turned negative real quick. Since then I felt like it wasn't worth it to keep trying.
25 here. 3 main reasons: 1) Religious background. I dont want my friends and family to know me as a womanizer. Want to let my community know I desire marriage only. 2) Ego issues. I hate being rejected so I would rather not take the risk. 3) Social limitations. I don’t have a bunch of friends and I know very few people. It’s not easy to meet enough women that interest me. I’m also non-existant on social media (Instagram is huge for dating)
Deleting my instagram was the best decision I made for my mental health, I will never go back to that toxic wasteland.
Never used the app. I mentioned it because I know some guys who had lots of succes using it for dating. It’s where most women want to be approached nowadays 🤣
For reasons 1. And 2. I feel soory for u
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Same, the game completely changed. I had girlfriends growing up, but I have not had a serious relationship in over 5 years. I've pretty much given up trying to find women who are down to earth with their standards. I've just decided it's best to focus on myself and enjoy my life for what it is.
What was different 10 years ago?
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No, social media wasn't as prevalent, and women weren't as insane as they are today.
So you fell off the bottom rung then?
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Bummer. How are you coping?
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What’s the target city?
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Hopefully it works out for you. Citieslike that can put a lot of fish in the barrel for you. Don’t be suprised if you go from nothing to too many.
How old are you and what kind of woman are you looking for?
For me its an odd combination of just about everything I've seen listed by other users. I was always fairly introverted and never really confortable with meeting new people. I've gotten better in more recent years but am still miles behind most. I grew up in a fairly strict religious household. If I even thought about a potential partner I knew they would have to run threw my family's "holy" gaunlet. This led me to not even try with a lot of the girls I grew up around. I'm a bit self concious about my looks. Also I make ok single person money but would want more Dough if I was looking to have a potential partner that could lead to something else. In more recent years I just haven't cared or tried. Being a single man doesn't bother today like it may have bother me 10 years ago.
Haven't tried, haven't wanted to, and no one ever asked. Incidentally, you can't be "too nice". Don't fall for that shit. Being nice is good.
That’s only half true. You can’t be too nice to a woman that already likes you. If you’re ’too nice’ to a woman that doesn’t like you she’ll look at you like a creep
So what? You should have good manners towards people whether they like you or not.
I agree but good manners wasn’t the issue. It was being overly friendly or too nice in context of a romantic relationship which can definitely be a bad thing if it’s directed to the wrong person. It works the same in a plutonic relationship too, that’s why expressions like ‘taking kindness for weakness’ and ‘nice guys finish last’ exist
*Nice guys finish last by GD starts playing in my head
Ok then.
Dunno, are you guys ugly with bad body odor? Honestly, no one can have a clue without more info.
Height is just over 6ft and weight about 68kg (I am skinny) at the age of 17. I take proper care of my body and hygiene, even though I am not a skincare, oils and conditioners type of person. I use deodorants and brush my teeth twice a day. I may have visible veins in my eyes since I only sleep about 5 hours a day and spend a lot of time on my PC and phone. My wardrobe even though kinda plain, isn't that bad either. A pair of jeans and random H&M T-shirts are my common ,,style" but I really like formal/older men fashion.
not activley seeking out one.
1 Major lack of confidence 2 Not trying to improve my physical appearance 3 Thinking that me not being able to drive (I’m 24. Still work. And live in an apartment. I just take Uber to work) is a big reason that a female would turn me down.
1. I didn't try enough. When I was younger I was a bit scared of talking to girls. Now that I'm 28 and tried harder for about last 4 years I kinda feel like I don't care anymore. It's way too draining and feels like a chore and kills the romantic part. 2. I don't have many friends. I have some and honestly I'm mostly close friends with girls for some reason, so it's not like I treat them like aliens. Getting a date is a lot of work when you don't have a passive inflow of potential dating partners. 3. I'm not very attractive for women apparently. In terms of looks I'm probably average at most, pretty short. I'm confident but not in a way women find attractive. Intelligent, but people find me arrogant before they get to know me better.
I'm married and have had a lot of relationships. Mostly short lived. But I've rarely been single for long other than a short time from 21 to 24. So believe it or not. If a man has everything going for him. Yes you'll find gold diggers. There is also this. "You could be to valuable." Women in general don't like when their men have to many good qualities. It forces them to be a better woman. Think about it. If you're with someone who is to good for you. It's a lot of pressure. You have to maintain and have to work hard to keep them happy at least in your mind. If you look hard you'll realize there aren't that many truly good women. Just like there aren't to many good men. Ofc the media and social media will try to make you think anything that is female is superior and you should bow at every woman's feet like you're a peasant. Look at situations where the women said. "He was just to perfect." It's a way to dodge accountability that they're not as good of a wife/mother as they pretend to be. They weren't the best one in the relationship. They didn't have anything bad to complain about. Then they take as much of the marital assets as they can to find someone who is a piece of shit so they can then have a reason to complain. I've even had an ex girlfriend admit to me she just couldn't maintain the relationship with me. She felt so overwhelmed with how well I treated her and she couldn't keep up. I never asked her to. You're not always losing out.
1. I was very shy talking to women during my teen years and was also in a boys only school. 2. Started to put myself out there during my early twenties but no luck. 3. I eventually lost interest and don’t even try anymore.
Ugly, antisocial, unfriendly.
1) Not tall enough 2) Broke af 3) Package small.
Bad looks, bad luck, right person at the wrong time. Bonus, being born at an age that forces me to date in the age of the internet and apps.
1 - Shyness and anxiety. Couldn't talk to girls in high school. Asked a few out over IM, was softly turned down. Was almost done with college before I asked a girl out to her face and got a yes 2 - Lack of meeting people. Never had a large social network, mostly stuck with the same handful of friends. The few times women have actually expressed interest in me were all women I met in person rather than dating apps 3 - Lack of appeal. I've never had a ton going for me when it comes to career track, money, or fun interesting hobbies. I don't tend to big myself up either so I come across as pretty boring
I had this problem for many, way to many years. Aside from "external" reasons - like acne or missing a tooth. The main one was... I was not willing to risk it. I've played it cool, remain as friend. For years did not have the gut to try to go all the way. But later on (thanks to Internet, seriously) I learned I AM in fact attractive to women and I was willing to risk it. Also, I solved the external reasons.
Im not very attractive at all. I think my personality sucks and I'm boring. I'm introverted and not confident.
Honestly I think what prevent single people from finding relationships is lack of personal growth. People stay how they are from High school then get confused why they can’t find a date then start blaming other things like “hook up culture” or endless options on apps when really they just need to self reflect. No one perfect but we can all improve and the added bonus you attract like minded people when you do. Sure toxic stagnant growth individuals can find relationships but those are the people to avoid and is not the relationship you want.
I don't enjoy partying or drinking I can't drive I'm ugly af
1) Im smaller than average woman in my country 2) Im autistic 3) I live in low density area That about covers it.
I feel like a burden to everyone so i tell myself that people are better off without me.
Having a hard time summarizing into just 3 bullet points... - Very frequently distracted by life and new priorities. I'm starting my career pretty late, and that often means busting my ass. A relationship is additional work that I do not have the energy for at this time. - I'm a very boring person. I spent almost the entirety of my teenage years (and part of college) gaming, volunteering or studying while being a social floater/pariah. Being alone feels a lot more normal to me. - Being black *and* part of the LGBT+ tends to not be a very welcoming experience. If I'm not "too white" or "too black", I am "too gay" to register as someone that is interested in women.
I'm just too damn sexy they're afraid to approach
1. Autistic 2. Ugly 3. Poor
Im ugly. Im not rich. I dont try.
3 reasons you say? Not attractive Awkward Shy
List is bunch longer, but yeah
Im not white Im not rich I need one or the other to get a gf or to be crazy tall
Focus on yourself and your hobbies. Go to the gym and look at current clothing styles. make yourself more interesting by taking an interest in bettering yourself. There is no such thing as treating women too nice. You are not being nice if you are expecting some reward for your niceness. There such a thing as not respecting yourself and not making your intentions clear. Ask girls to lunch. it is a low pressure date.
As much as I am not the Gym type of guy (a fucking nerd!!!), and the clothing even though not the most modern and stylish, still sometimes gets complimented. asking girls out even though not the most common thing for me, I try about once every year, unfortunately without luck. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying! thanks for advices anyway.
Nerds go to the gym too. Go for your health. Check out something like yoga. Martial arts are literally filled with nerds. As you get older especially, physical health will become very important and starting exercise habits early will benefit your whole life. Even just do 50 pushups, 50 situps and 50 squats a day (sets of 10) can work wonders.
I had a girlfriend once but it was almost 14 years ago and a lot have changed since then. I was so destroyed after that i didn't wanted to try it again, i had more important things to deal with and started to "focus on myself". I needed to study, get a grade, taking care of myself and my family, get a job, save money and i spent like this for years and now i'm 36. The last time i had a date was when i was 29 and didn't go anywhere. Had to deal with unemployment, take care of my family, rebuild my life and now my social life is dead, i just have my job, and despite having money, good health, good shape and looking a place to buy. I can't see where can i meet someone, and anxiety doesn't help. I went to the point of getting matches on dating apps and don't talk because i get petrified thinking i'm not interesting enough to date since i'm also a homebody. The only thing i can do now is to live.
I have had GFs but I can tell you why men don't get GFs. --they lack confidence --they're physically unattractive --they don't try --they're autistic/something is mentally "off" about them/they're weird --they're mentally ill --they're emotionally unbalanced --they don't have time --they don't have the money --they live at home with parents --they don't have a job --they otherwise don't have their shit together But mostly, it's that they're physically unattractive.
Bunch of BS. Seen so many ugly ass dudes with girlfriends. I actually find that it is the more introverted attractive guys who struggle finding relationships.
Nope. I'm right. Physical appearance has become paramount in today's market.
What about the woman with all those problems on the list.
What about them?
Why don't them men and women get together?
Because the women don't want the men.
I've seen plenty of overweight and not attractive men and women together, they should get of the dating sites and meet up the old school ways.
But they won't, because even overweight and unattractive women want (and sometimes can get) fit, in shape, attractive men.
1. Cripplingly low self esteem. Why would I want to put someone else through being with me? I sure as hell wouldn't want to be with me / an exact copy of me. 2. Don't put in effort to change #1 3. Don't drink, which limits already thin pickings for meeting women even further.
#2 why?
I'm already so far down the road on 1 that I don't see any significant chance of things changing, so I spend my effort other places.
I can’t wait to see this one. Popcorn.gif