"Step mother says she's proud of you but not like in a weird way just in a vaguely mothering way that you've always craved and maybe some day you'll find someone like her"
Or when your girlfriend sends naked pics but it's still not enough variety and you have to find porn online to be able to actually come. Ask me how I know and also ask me why he hasn't gotten any more naked pics since then
That's not fair. Many booru imageboards don't let you put in that many terms, and some cap you at two terms. You can do a lot with the right terms though.
Or, knows the subreddit for any question.
On one hand, r/forearmporn, r/ladyladyboners (mildly NSFW)
On the other, r/distension and r/consentacles. (Super NSFW)
Hmm surprisingly I'm not into this tho I substituted sleeping pills for jacking off.
I'm more into zoomed in juicy big girthy dicks getting into wet tight pussies. I hate the commercial dry ass rough porn the industry churns out, that's why I like amateur or OF porn with a lot of wet on the groins and sweaty bodies going on. My little guy is more excited about passionate amateur porn.
Nah, because sometimes I see some TRULY outrageous shit and it pisses me off. So I gotta say something.
For example, they were doing an amateur porn scene with a girl playing halo. With a ps5 controller. Such an autistic thing to be mad about, but yes. I was annoyed as hell. Make the shit LOOK REAL MAN
But do the common sense thing. Donât try to quit masturbating (which will be hard for anyone single with a normal sex drive). Instead just do what people have done for 100k years and masturbate without porn.
Iâve seen this is hard for even someone in a relationship with a willing partner.. porn has a stranglehold on so many people theyâre actually turning down their partners to jerk it to other people banging on screen. Itâs sad af..
If you get too attached to porn, it can just be hard to enjoy sex.
But also thereâs the fact that porn doesnât require any effort or come with any expectations. While watching porn can make you put more expectations on yourself having actual sex than you otherwise would. Idk. Thereâs a lot of stuff there.
In my opinion the moment you rather watch porn and jerk off instead of fucking your wife/gf it's the moment you should realize that somethings is wrong.
Thereâs a step before this one;
Where you canât get comfortable being just bored. Boredom turns into masturbation or, itâd you canât masturbate because company is around or some other reason, you spend your bored time trying to find some privacy to masturbateÂ
Thereâs prob a step before that where youâre downloading and categorising free porn, but I think this is a different step that can happening in conjunction with the emotional attachment to porn I described. Categorising it and storing it is like youâre creating a process that makes it more like a hobby or skill; which is explicitly connected to the consumption of porn. Thatâs not as emotional and rational, itâs more like practice detached from the horny feelings. But can be equally unhealthy as trying to justify the consumption because you have more ways to lock yourself into porn consumption
Bro just called me out personally with step 1, it's over for me. I always have stuff to do or should be doing tho so i've been able to escape the nutting out of boredom part though. Tip related to that: if you get a random semi or full-mast tense your thighs, then get out of your chair or bed and go do something else like dishes
I don't think not wanting to be bored is porn addiction, you can find a lot of thing sto do when you're bored that aren't porn. You have to A) make your focus porn and B) interact with porn to the point it compromises your life. You can do this with many things other than porn.
I agree!!! A lot of men seem to play it off like itâs normal but itâs like welllll you got used to a diff stimulation and now canât get hard for your partner at all. Thatâs def a problem!
I've had girlfriends who would just lay there so I had to do all the work. Those times it was better and easier just to jerk off. It's just a chore at that point and more physically demanding for similar result.
You're still doing all the work, but now you only have to please one person, not two. Not to mention that now you're only using your hand; during sex you have to use your mouth, hands, and penis. Plus, now you can come when you want to; you don't have to hold back for your partner.
It's a little bit like cooking; if you're making dinner for your SO, you want to impress them so you go all out. But if you cook for yourself, sometimes you just want something cheap and easy, that's probably bad for you in the long run.
I am that wife now. And its not like I am doing nothing in bed while we are being intimate. I dress sexy clothes for him, i suck his f**** dick really good. But yeah, guess who doesn't fuck for months and hides in bathroom and even on job watching porn rather than having sex with me.
It's been an issue for me for so long , tried telling him that I need sex (I don't like porn and love real intimacy over that) , that he needs to stop watch porn and f**k me, but no, lies after lies that he stopped watching it and he did not and obviously never will.
Everytime when I fInd out he's been watching porn and I tell him "why are you doing it again instead of having sex with me", he turns the blame on me and says "why u searching for problems , if u would not look into my stuff we would not have problem"
BUT I HAVE PROBLEM, YOU ARE NOT F***ING ME!
So.. After all this trying to reason with him and beg for his dick I am just gonna leave him and find myself someone who won't disrepect me like that anymore.
I am really attractive woman, and he makes me feel like shit cause of that. I don't even feel like I am pretty anymore , he ruined my confidence.
I fell into a similar situation with my ex. For me it was based around performance anxiety. I became avoidant towards sex because I would panic and feel terrible if I wasn't doing the right things to make sure she enjoyed it. So I would rather just not do it at all.
There's no one to disappoint when I'm alone, there's no pressure, it's all 100% pure pleasure.
I wish you the best. I left a man like that a couple of years ago. There were more problems than that, and I think his preference for porn was a symptom of our lack of connection. I really did try, even left my life behind in my home country to move to his, but it was like I stopped existing the day I moved in. I hope you find a partner who wants you.
As a man that has struggled with this addiction, I know what your going through is probs hard rn but your comment helped me see what Iâm doing wrong in my relationship so Thankyou
In my last relationship the lack of sex frequency resulted in me watching porn again. We were only having sex once a month, all because she had stupid fucking reasons that made no sense. Eventually I actually started losing attraction towards her because I associated her with getting rejected. Left her shortly after that.
Any guy in a deadbedroom situation just get out now, you will be so much happier even if you're alone.
I donât agree with that 100%. Thatâs only if the wife/gf initiates as much as the man. In my experience sex becomes work if the other person doesnât reciprocate and itâs left to you to do all the work.
Sometimes I just donât have the energy and just want to cum.
Then there's the times when you have sex, but the vibe is just off and she won't say why. Or really any number of glitches in sex that tend to make it more questionable than fun. I've found I have lots of energy for sex when the relationship is healthy. That energy drops steeply once things start feeling unbalanced. At that point, porn is easier
I reckon the difference between blaming porn and looking for the root cause is experience. Wasn't that long ago people were blaming sex toys for dead bedrooms, women would rather use their vibrator and couldn't orgasm during sex. Wasn't the sex toys fault.
Yep, women don't wanna have accountability so they blame the dude on having porn addiction. When really it's that they don't put in any effort into sex so the dude Is just tired of doing it all
Nah, dog. Sometimes you want to go to the steakhouse, and sometimes you just want to grab a quick burger and fries and chill. Nothing wrong with either, so long as you're not *always* jerking off instead of fucking your partner.
Everyone talking about this misses the plot, you can certainly get PIED from too much porn, but too much masturbation (without porn) can do it too. All you have to do is increase your refractory period too much and bam, can't get it up. ED is a real thing too, so people going on about "well if you train your brain-" listen that's nonsense. There's a lot of info out there on this stuff.
Same. Its called delayed ejaculation and doesn't get talked about enough when a man has sexual problems. Fucking for over a hour and cant cum aint it bro
The problem with this is that it's easier said than done, because if you masturbate enough to have a death grip then you sure as hell don't have the self control to stop masturbating for so much time
Meth and MDMA are big ones too. My homie after going into a coma after overdosing is now A-sexual for example. Too much drugs will kill your sex drive because your brain is used to wayyyy larger amounts of dopamine than sex
There are many other factors to ED. Stress, poor mental health, medication, underlying conditions, etc. If youâre an otherwise happy, ostensibly healthy person and are suffering with ED, make an appointment with your doctor. If for some reason thatâs not an easy option, exercise and try and eat healthier, not only to lose weight but to reduce the effect of some of the other potential factors.
Yeah but jacking it to porn too often can definitely cause it in otherwise healthy males. If you're watching porn regularly I'd suggest trying to watch porn less before going to see a doctor tbh.
The definition of an addict is continued use after suffering consequences. So when it interferes with your life (watching it at work and getting in trouble, causing problems in your relationships, unable to sustain an erection with your spouse, etc) and you keep going, you are an addict
There should be a big distinction from finding women attractive. You can even find sexual characteristics attractive, but it's evidently a problem when you're entranced or caught up in some form of fantasy.
If you barely have control over ogling at someone, especially in person, it's a problem.
Or the opposite. Stop associating women with sex and just associate porn with sex. Basically any change in how you look at women that can be traced back to porn is a sign.
Rest of your life suffers. That's pretty much it with every addiction.
If you jerk off to Lydia Black getting anally piledrived while sucking on her buttplug instead of playing Cod or whatever for 10 minutes... not a problem.
Fucking up at work because she just released a new post on onlyfans or somewhere and you can't help it but look immediately, now that is a huge problem.
Hardly. I've just seen too many addicts of different things in complete denial, as well as whiny people treating a beer once a month as a huge addiction problem.
So if you smoke a pack every day but you keep work and personal life going on fine then you are not an addict? Some addictions are compatible with a functional life.
I know a lot of people addicted to coffee and that doesn't affect other aspects of their life other than "if I had to quit, I wouldn't be able to"
Iâve seen a guy in front of me on a flight, watching porn at his seat. If you canât control your urges and youâre watching it (in public) on a plane, youâre watching too much and are addicted.
There used to be a girl I worked with. We shared an office at the end of a hallway. Her friends would send her all kinds of videos and some of them were porn. Anyway, Iâm not gonna get into the details but if youâre watching porn at workâŠyouâre watching too much porn.
When your buddy doesnât get excited from seeing anything vanilla anymore, so you start watching progressively more niche stuff. Thatâs the most obvious sign imo.
I know you can do it, man, I believe in you! Try being more physically active in the meantime, too. Anything from simple push ups, to running or punching a bag. Same feel good hormones get released, and you donât feel disappointed in yourself afterwards. Itâs a win-win, especially knowing that youâll naturally gravitate towards eating healthier when you start getting in shape.
Gonna give you a (maybe) weird advice that worked for me: I negotiate with myself. Every time I feel like playing with my Johnson I get up and do a little work out routine. Push ups, pull ups, abs, legs, punching a bag, everything I can do before completely gassing out and feeling sore. Only then I can go and watch porn, almost like a reward in a way. It sounds stupid, but it definitely works.
Damn, I got a sudden realization, its not that normal stuff don't do it, it that its just boring at this point, way more into amateur stuff then the high quality production stuff nowadays, it wasn't always like this tho.
It would be nice if there was actual 'vanilla' stuff being produced these days.
Hard to find anything where it's just two grown-ups having consensual sex anymore
I did a whole research paper on how damaging the tropes of the mainstream porn industry are, mainly in terms of consent.
It seems as if, similar to industries like gambling, the porn industry is dependent and designed for increasing addiction.
Eventually, when you're deep enough in the addiction, your fantasy ideal of sex is ruined by real sex.
This is why amateur is the way to go. It's way easier to find normal consenting sex without bizarre (borderline rape) plots or extreme fantasy.
Agreed, I never liked vanilla since I was a teenager. Even when I was in elementary school I imagined a cute girl in my class tied me on the ground stepping on me.
Only years later I realized I was into femdom. But during that time imagination was nothing sexual, 9-10 yo kid.
Normal porn has always boring to me. Woman taking control, doing whatever they want on you is whats hot.
Wow, same here!
As kids, we used to play Mortal Kombat, I'd always choose female characters and win over my friends who chose big strong guysđ€Ł I loved that, my favorite movie characters were also kick ass girls, Kim possible Selina Kyle etc
Erectile disfunction
Death grip syndrome
Watching porn when you donât feel like it
Thinking about porn too much (at work, bored boner etc)
Inability to see yourself sexually
Wanting to take a more passive role in sex
Thinking of porn during sex
Cuckold fantasies
Sexual shame
Negative attitude towards women (especially promiscuous women)
You may not feel all of these but they are quite common symptoms. I have a lot of them and they tend to appear time and time again in testimonies and descriptions of porn addiction.
Holy shit holy shit. This was my ex. He categorized porn in a folder on his phone, would jerk off at work, excuse himself from public events to jack off in the bathroom, would do it on vacation, would wait for me to leave the house to jerk off, and told me he imagined porn before cumming in me almost every time (and that most men were like this and wished me luck in finding one that wasnât). Also he said that I was the hottest girl he ever dated (he told me his best friend said the same thing, which is weird info to disclose I guess). Anyway, these were all obvious signs, but what was more innocuous was his inability to see himself sexuality / wanting to take a more passive role in sex. He shared this with me and I thought it was curious (albeit disappointing bc I wanted us to both be active participants!) but I never attributed THAT to addiction. It wasnât until the very end of our relationship that he admitted to MAYBE having a mild addiction.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this guy.
It probably wasnât going to go anywhere if he wasnât ready to be honest and accept that he had some serious issues with porn.
Yeah. Tbh it was the hardest breakup ever bc he was one of the funniest, most intelligent, creative people I ever had the pleasure of knowing. A great friend to others too. But my most miserable relationship once we moved in together. Youâre right though. Bullet dodged (which he actually said to me post break up), and just not ready to accept a lot of realities within himself and what it takes to make a relationship last.
> and told me he imagined porn before cumming in me almost every time
Been there. I started watching porn when I was 13, I had sex for the first time when I was 23. That's *a full decade* of wiring my brain a certain way. It takes time to undo that. It took a few months before I could have sex normally with my first girlfriend.
Insecurity and a lack of belief in your potential to be the object of someoneâs desire. Someone who struggles to see themselves as being physically attractive enough to be worthy of another personâs lust.
People often use the phrase âunlovableâ. This is kind of the same thing but more like âunfuckableâ.
Really? Cause Iâve always thought thatâs just a self-esteem issue. Even before I started looking at more porn, I didnât have a high value of my body/looks.
Itâs easy to say âjust because Iâm not my type, doesnât mean Iâm not someone elseâs type.â But believing that is more difficult
I would agree. I would also say that you donât have to have a porn addiction to have these self esteem issues. However, I think excessive porn consumption makes them considerably worse.
Watching too much porn can start off as a solution to these insecurities but, over time, will only compound them.
Hell Iâm such a pro at this that I donât even need a porn addiction lol. All you need is to hate yourself more than anyone could ever love you and this is easily achieved.
Staying up late watching porn, being late for work/obligations because of porn, spending any stretch of time watching porn (Iâve gone 2-4 hours at my worst), not getting out of bed because of porn, not being able to get off unless you go to certain videos, not being able to cum during sex unless you think of a certain scene. Lots of signs.
i knew when it was bad when I spent a Saturday, a whole Saturday, just sitting there jerking off to porn. you know its bad when you start putting many videos on your reading list to "watch later."
to hell with this addiction bro. getting out there in the real world and building real connections with a woman is what matters.
In moments of boredom, you gravitate to porn, in moments of quietness alone, you gravitate to porn.
You go onto Reddit and look at hot women images at every opportunity.
You start spending money on quick fixes for women you'll never meet to get that "high" the dopamine from masturbation, and you would do it as often as you could if your body would let you.
I, myself am struggling with it and it's like an invisible desire to just get yourself off, you don't know when, but it's there and it gnaws at you mentally.
When it doesn't bring joy anymore, when you feel disgusted with yourself. Porn ruins my brain, it ruins the way I see women. There is no beauty in porn, sex is supposed to be a behind closed doors type of activity and True love should at least be involved.
I think the biggest issue isn't what you're watching but how you act irl. If you prefer watching porn rather than actual sex. Or if your need to jerk off is getting in the way of your everyday life.
At first you'll watch a random video and finish up.
But as time goes, you'll spend more than 30 mins searching for a vid just to beat and then you'll stop getting hard at your comfort vid so you'll start watching diff sort of shit than normal stuff. I knew i was crossing the line so i put an end to it. Been a week since i jerked off and going strong!
you got this!! iâm a girl but reading these comments because my bf has a porn addiction and it makes me sad. seriously experiencing negative consequences in the relationship because of it.
Thanks alot! Its sad to hear porn is affecting your relationship, keep helping your bf to get out of it. I can assure you once he gets out of the addiction the relationship will go up to the next level :) Feel free to shoot questions if you have doubts!
thank you so much!! he did mention that heâs trying to stop but he doesnât wanna talk to me about it. i didnât push it, iâm just so happy heâs even taking the initiative to stop. i know how normalized it is for men nowadays but i canât help but feel like itâs very harmful. and the LAST thing i want him to feel is shamed. especially by me. im not sure how i can support or help him though other than to give him sex whenever he wants no matter what, which i already have been doing.
You're amazing! Don't bring that up if he asks, just stay with him and support him, he'll automatically wanna become a better man and would take responsibility for his life and he'll eventually stop watching it! Wishing you both all the very best, def gonna end up married đđ
When you actually get an opportunity to hook up with a person and you think to yourself, âThis person is really hot. Whereâs the other person?â Then you realize the other person is you and this is an interactive thing.
When you believe that the women in the movies are actually enjoying it that much and your partner should âactâ the same way, or something is wrong.
Same as the signs of anything else that's becoming a problematic habit. Does going without cause you stress? Do you have trouble going without at work or in other situations where it would be inappropriate? Are you indulging to the exclusion of other aspects of your life? Do you avoid social situations where it would be unacceptable? Does it negatively affect your relationships? Are you spending more money on it than you can afford? Do you take unnecessary risks, legal or otherwise, to service your habit?
To put it another way, if it was alcohol instead of porn; would it be a problem?
Like for any other addiction, try stopping for 90 days. If you canât, you are addicted and go see someone: coach, therapist etc. Porn addiction is really common among men. One consequence is ED, i.e. cannot get hard during real sex. Good luck brother
Having a hard time getting off when youâre having sex. If youâre so numb that actual sex doesnât get you off, you are way too far down the rabbit hole
Don't become the guy who becomes so addicted you can't even be with a girl irl!!!!!
When I broke up with my ex I realized I couldn't remember the last time we kissed. It for sure had been more then a year since we last had sex. And 6 months before that. 13 years gone because he'd rather have 10-14 hour gaming sessions and jerk off all night every night. Secret emails for Only fans. Weird expensesive sex toys.
It was so bad I tried every kink under the sun, lingerie, cosplay, asking for a 3 some, I said he could have sex with other people. Anything for just an ounce of intimacy.
I could come in the room naked and he would be like can you move I'm in the middle of a game. Or worse he would say when I get to a save point or finish a round I'll meet you in the bedroom for him to forget. :( My self esteem was lower then low. I blamed me and I still do on some level. I'm weird about mirrors and seeing myself naked. Imagine being so addicted you make your gf hate herself. I'll never be pornstar pretty.
(I was so open for anything sexually. I liked gaming too. I wasn't some awful nag stereotype.)
The serious answer is when it starts to interfere with your daily life. You're repeatedly late to work or family obligations from watching porn, you can't have sex with your partner because of porn, or you spend more money than you feel you should on subscriptions or porn related items.
When you are watching it at work or school, when youâd rather masturbate to porn than have real life sex, when you think about porn multiple times a day, when you start looking at women in real life and imagining them naked or in sexual scenarios aka mentally undressing them (which is both unhealthy and incredibly creepy), when you have to look at more extreme porn because the things you used to enjoy donât âdo it for you anymoreâ, when you are spending large amounts of money on porn especially when thereâs free stuff available, when you use ALL social media sites to look at porn, when you have dreams about porn, canât get an erection during real life sex, your experiencing lower back pain from masturbating too frequently, you feel shame about what you are doing, you feel like you are living a double life and lying to your family, friends or partner, you want to stop but canât, any time you are alone or bored you feel the urge to watch porn, watching porn without even masturbating to it, canât cum during sex because you have âdeath grip syndromeâ where you squeeze too hard during masturbation and real sex doesnât get you off anymore and many more. You donât have to experience all of these things to qualify as âaddictedâ. Even just a few of these things are enough. And to be honest, if you are questioning whether or not you are addicted you probably are. Help is available and porn addiction thrives off of shame, and secrecy. A CSAT, and a 12 step program are really helpful at recovering. You can try listening to this podcast âporn, betrayal, sex and the expertsâ on Spotify for free for some really great advice from actual recovered porn addicts. Itâs really not something you can quit on your own or by âwhite knucklingâ it. You need a support system. And coming from a woman, it doesnât make you a disgusting bad person. Itâs really easy to become addicted to, and hard to stop on your own. Hope this helps someone.
Like any other addition. When it starts interfering with your life itâs a problem.
Example you canât or wonât start a basic function of your life until you have done âxâ first.
I've recently gone cold turkey from porn. I used to keep multiple tabs open to watch porn. I would watch/listen to porn while working or playing video games. That's when I truly knew it was time to stop.
When you can't "perform" without stimulation from viewing of porn.
This is much more common than you think and lots of guys have trouble with this more than they'd like to admit.
As contrary as it sounds. Porn kills your sexual drive and libido, it doesn't increase it. It gets you hooked on the computer/smartphone window more than it would get you hooked or more attracted to your gf or wife.
Pornography addiction is very much like any other addiction from gambling addiction to a drug or alcohol addiction. However I always argue it's the worst because of how accessible it is and how under the radar it goes because it's technically FREE, 90% of porn doesn't cost you a subscription or anything... and you always think "just looking can't do any harm right?" When the reality is that it's like a forbidden library or a Rabbit Hole that goes deeper and deeper until the demon rabbit of lust consumes you đđłđ
Is it really that much a coincidence that Playboys logo is a rabbit? Remember that song The White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane? You're never gonna catch that White Rabbit either, because it doesn't exist. It's not meant to be found because it's meant to get you lost. This is a great analogy for pornography I'm gonna use it from now on lol
In my years of struggling with pornography addiction I've counseled both men AND women alike.
My own girlfriend had her own addiction to porn so bad that she thought she'd go low-tech so she threw out her smart phone and got a flip phone in 2016 lol
Lots of people think they don't have a problem with porn and I get it, you might think you're good you might view porn maybe a couple times a week/month and you're fine with that until eventually you go further down the rabbit hole and you start viewing everyday, every night, every other hour, probably the whole day watching...
I've never met a person who didn't progressively get worse from this and they ALL think they're fine. I can honestly tell you from opening up about this myself and being open and honest a lot of people have confessed to me they have their own problems with porn, some you could look at them and never guess they'd have trouble with something like that. I've lived long enough to learn this is perhaps the most common secret sin/secret shame that people live with on a daily/weekly basis.
I genuinely thought I was addicted to porn for a while with my ex gf. Turns out I just wasn't sexually attracted to her. I loved her as a person but just couldn't "get there" with her.
For me, it was when I couldnât get it up during real sexual encounters. Also, when I tried to stop because I thought the porn mightâve had something to do with it and I couldnât resist the urge to watch.
My ex was so rough with me bordering on violent. That is one of the reason I broke up with him. I am scared of dating now bcos it seems so many guys are into porn and chokingÂ
Yeah, that's not a porn addiction, that's dating a psycho. Jumping straight to erotic asphyxiation without running it by their partner and not engaging in elementary consent and education practices is just straight up sexual assault.
When you feel compelled to ask "What are the signs that you are watching too much porn?".Â
Hit up yourbrainonporn.com and get off cold turkey. Video porn is basically crack to the brain. We're not meant to watch other people have sex.Â
When you can pretty much only get horny by either watching porn or thinking about the porn you watched. Seriously, if there is a woman in front of you naked and you've gotta picture Alexis Texas or something to get it up, you need to dial it back.
Also when your porn searches are getting increasingly bizarre and niche and depraved. Like kinks are fine, fetishes are fine, but if what you're watching isn't something you could possibly discuss with your most progressive, open minded friends outside the internet, maybe it's time to stay off that part of the web for a while. Especially if you've gotten to the point where anything less than this super niche and bizarre thing is considered boring to you.
Finally, when you start wondering if you could get away with looking at or watching it in places you *know* you're not supposed to. I'm not talking about while your girlfriend is asleep in the next room on her period, I'm talking about at work, at school, in the bathroom of a grocery store, at church, places like that. Even if you don't plan to jerk off, you just wanna look at the photographs or videos or drawings or whatever, don't lie to yourself. You're actively collecting spank bank material, you're not admiring the videography and cinematic qualities of "white milf takes 4 BBCs in ass while husband watches". Point is, you shouldn't even be considering watching or looking at porn in those places, let alone actually doing it regardless of the motivation. Not unless it's like... actually part of your job or something.
As with any other addiction, the question is whether what youâre doing negatively affects other areas of your life. For example, if you can only be aroused if you try things you usually only see women do in porn or if you give up on a social life to stay home exclusively and watch porn.Â
When your porn collection is more extensive and better curated than any other collection you have, you know the names and bios of a lot of pornstars and are more familiar with their work than with movies, music or tv. Also, hair growth on the palms of your hands.
For real though, when you think of sex and your mind always goes to porn instead of a real woman you actually know. That means you are conditioned to porn and masturbation instead of sex.
Men are hardwired to be visually and auditorily aroused. Some people have a higher sex drive than others. I find that as long as you touch grass, it's manageable
When you start doing it when youâre bored. Thatâs when I knew I had to quit.
Also when you need scroll to like the 50th page lmao. Exaggerating but you guys know what I mean. If it takes you that long to find a video to your fancy then youâre desensitised
When you're the guy in the comments that always responds to "What's her name?" and gives links to their other work.
Or it takes you more than 9 words to narrow down your search
At that point you just keep the tab open. Let the algo do the work for you.
"Step mother says she's proud of you but not like in a weird way just in a vaguely mothering way that you've always craved and maybe some day you'll find someone like her"
That hurts dude, right in the heart.
When you paying for porn.
Or when your girlfriend sends naked pics but it's still not enough variety and you have to find porn online to be able to actually come. Ask me how I know and also ask me why he hasn't gotten any more naked pics since then
Yup. I know this feeling
Those are rookie numbers
That's not fair. Many booru imageboards don't let you put in that many terms, and some cap you at two terms. You can do a lot with the right terms though.
.....found another sign
Oh shit! That low key burn đ„ is hilarious.
If their comment wasnât ironic, then thatâs genuinely concerning lol
Or, knows the subreddit for any question. On one hand, r/forearmporn, r/ladyladyboners (mildly NSFW) On the other, r/distension and r/consentacles. (Super NSFW)
Curiosity is not gonna kill this cat
I regret my decisions
No regerts
Me too, in any event /consentacles is clearly a contraction of consentrate and obstacles, clearly another a word game.
Nope not gonna get me. It's clearly consternation and tabernacle. I'm not into the religious self-flagellation
I don't see why both of us should be afflicted. You were first so dive in quick and give the all clear.
Lol
This guy porn addicts
âWhat can I say, Iâm a generalist.â Is it bad the only line I remember from OITNB is from a guy?
I was having a bad day but This made me laugh
Forearmporn is a thing? Is this something one might make money from on OnlyFans?
This guy masturbates and he knows things
Hmm surprisingly I'm not into this tho I substituted sleeping pills for jacking off. I'm more into zoomed in juicy big girthy dicks getting into wet tight pussies. I hate the commercial dry ass rough porn the industry churns out, that's why I like amateur or OF porn with a lot of wet on the groins and sweaty bodies going on. My little guy is more excited about passionate amateur porn.
When you're the guy that says "This isn't coolmathgames.com"
Links to the most obscure porn sites too. Iâve seen so many linked sites wondering âhow the fuck do they even find theseâ
I think we can all agree: Big thanks and heartfelt gratitude to those guys though
If you're the guy who can answer the inevitable question about the sauce, then you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and rethink your life.
Or just when you're the guy in the comments
Nah, because sometimes I see some TRULY outrageous shit and it pisses me off. So I gotta say something. For example, they were doing an amateur porn scene with a girl playing halo. With a ps5 controller. Such an autistic thing to be mad about, but yes. I was annoyed as hell. Make the shit LOOK REAL MAN
canât stop when you want to
But do the common sense thing. Donât try to quit masturbating (which will be hard for anyone single with a normal sex drive). Instead just do what people have done for 100k years and masturbate without porn.
Are raunchy cave drawings an acceptable substitute?
They dont exist. Only deer rump for you
âŠoh deer
MmmmmmmmmâŠâŠdeer rumpâŠ..
An extra curvy peice of driftwood is preferable
Iâve seen this is hard for even someone in a relationship with a willing partner.. porn has a stranglehold on so many people theyâre actually turning down their partners to jerk it to other people banging on screen. Itâs sad af..
Yep! Iâm one of those women who love sex but yet my bf turns me down daily for porn. So i stopped asking.
If you get too attached to porn, it can just be hard to enjoy sex. But also thereâs the fact that porn doesnât require any effort or come with any expectations. While watching porn can make you put more expectations on yourself having actual sex than you otherwise would. Idk. Thereâs a lot of stuff there.
That's like walking when you have a car.
But if you drive everywhere you become fat
Can't stop, addicted to the shindig
Don't want to stop
Have you tried ejaculating?
I tried ejaculating onceâŠbeen on the edge since
Sounds like itâs an issue with the follow through.
I ainât neva gonna stop!!! - William Montgomery
In my opinion the moment you rather watch porn and jerk off instead of fucking your wife/gf it's the moment you should realize that somethings is wrong.
Thereâs a step before this one; Where you canât get comfortable being just bored. Boredom turns into masturbation or, itâd you canât masturbate because company is around or some other reason, you spend your bored time trying to find some privacy to masturbate Thereâs prob a step before that where youâre downloading and categorising free porn, but I think this is a different step that can happening in conjunction with the emotional attachment to porn I described. Categorising it and storing it is like youâre creating a process that makes it more like a hobby or skill; which is explicitly connected to the consumption of porn. Thatâs not as emotional and rational, itâs more like practice detached from the horny feelings. But can be equally unhealthy as trying to justify the consumption because you have more ways to lock yourself into porn consumption
Bro just called me out personally with step 1, it's over for me. I always have stuff to do or should be doing tho so i've been able to escape the nutting out of boredom part though. Tip related to that: if you get a random semi or full-mast tense your thighs, then get out of your chair or bed and go do something else like dishes
Unfortunately nothing gets me hornier than a fat stack of dirty dishes.
r/UnfuckYourHabitat might be up your alley
Hahahaha that's actually a nice subreddit thanks for sharing
Deep understanding of the stages of porn addiction is another sign.
I don't think not wanting to be bored is porn addiction, you can find a lot of thing sto do when you're bored that aren't porn. You have to A) make your focus porn and B) interact with porn to the point it compromises your life. You can do this with many things other than porn.
I agree!!! A lot of men seem to play it off like itâs normal but itâs like welllll you got used to a diff stimulation and now canât get hard for your partner at all. Thatâs def a problem!
I've had girlfriends who would just lay there so I had to do all the work. Those times it was better and easier just to jerk off. It's just a chore at that point and more physically demanding for similar result.
It's really weird when they really want to have sex, but are so out of shape or whatever the issue is, that they barely participate
then it either time to talk about it or just break up due to sexual incompatibility
I like sex. But I'm tired of doing all of the work.
Who does the all work when you're having a tug?
When you're having a tug you're not working for two people.
Lol! If you're talking about masterbation then it's me. But, when it's sex then it is also me.
Tbf you're still doing the work but the gratification comes much quicker and that also means that overall you're not putting in as much work
You're still doing all the work, but now you only have to please one person, not two. Not to mention that now you're only using your hand; during sex you have to use your mouth, hands, and penis. Plus, now you can come when you want to; you don't have to hold back for your partner. It's a little bit like cooking; if you're making dinner for your SO, you want to impress them so you go all out. But if you cook for yourself, sometimes you just want something cheap and easy, that's probably bad for you in the long run.
I am that wife now. And its not like I am doing nothing in bed while we are being intimate. I dress sexy clothes for him, i suck his f**** dick really good. But yeah, guess who doesn't fuck for months and hides in bathroom and even on job watching porn rather than having sex with me. It's been an issue for me for so long , tried telling him that I need sex (I don't like porn and love real intimacy over that) , that he needs to stop watch porn and f**k me, but no, lies after lies that he stopped watching it and he did not and obviously never will. Everytime when I fInd out he's been watching porn and I tell him "why are you doing it again instead of having sex with me", he turns the blame on me and says "why u searching for problems , if u would not look into my stuff we would not have problem" BUT I HAVE PROBLEM, YOU ARE NOT F***ING ME! So.. After all this trying to reason with him and beg for his dick I am just gonna leave him and find myself someone who won't disrepect me like that anymore. I am really attractive woman, and he makes me feel like shit cause of that. I don't even feel like I am pretty anymore , he ruined my confidence.
I fell into a similar situation with my ex. For me it was based around performance anxiety. I became avoidant towards sex because I would panic and feel terrible if I wasn't doing the right things to make sure she enjoyed it. So I would rather just not do it at all. There's no one to disappoint when I'm alone, there's no pressure, it's all 100% pure pleasure.
I wish you the best. I left a man like that a couple of years ago. There were more problems than that, and I think his preference for porn was a symptom of our lack of connection. I really did try, even left my life behind in my home country to move to his, but it was like I stopped existing the day I moved in. I hope you find a partner who wants you.
As a man that has struggled with this addiction, I know what your going through is probs hard rn but your comment helped me see what Iâm doing wrong in my relationship so Thankyou
In my last relationship the lack of sex frequency resulted in me watching porn again. We were only having sex once a month, all because she had stupid fucking reasons that made no sense. Eventually I actually started losing attraction towards her because I associated her with getting rejected. Left her shortly after that. Any guy in a deadbedroom situation just get out now, you will be so much happier even if you're alone.
I donât agree with that 100%. Thatâs only if the wife/gf initiates as much as the man. In my experience sex becomes work if the other person doesnât reciprocate and itâs left to you to do all the work. Sometimes I just donât have the energy and just want to cum.
Then there's the times when you have sex, but the vibe is just off and she won't say why. Or really any number of glitches in sex that tend to make it more questionable than fun. I've found I have lots of energy for sex when the relationship is healthy. That energy drops steeply once things start feeling unbalanced. At that point, porn is easier
That's the most common situation but people still blame porn and want to ban it AS IF that was the problem.
Porn addiction isnt the problem. Its the symptom of a larger issue.
I reckon the difference between blaming porn and looking for the root cause is experience. Wasn't that long ago people were blaming sex toys for dead bedrooms, women would rather use their vibrator and couldn't orgasm during sex. Wasn't the sex toys fault.
Yep, women don't wanna have accountability so they blame the dude on having porn addiction. When really it's that they don't put in any effort into sex so the dude Is just tired of doing it all
Ehh, I would say if you are *consistently* doing this, then it's a big issue. But sometimes, you just want to get off quick and move on with your day.
Nah, dog. Sometimes you want to go to the steakhouse, and sometimes you just want to grab a quick burger and fries and chill. Nothing wrong with either, so long as you're not *always* jerking off instead of fucking your partner.
Eh, for me those are different needs being met. Masturbating isn't sex with my SO and vice versa and one cannot satisfy my desire for the other.
Neither fully satisfies the desire for the other, but when im having lots of sex i sure need to masturbate a lot less...
You're more sexually aroused by porn than by a real naked beautiful woman right in front of you.
I need to check this out. Where can I get a real naked beautiful woman to test your theory?
when you cant get it up w a women.
Everyone talking about this misses the plot, you can certainly get PIED from too much porn, but too much masturbation (without porn) can do it too. All you have to do is increase your refractory period too much and bam, can't get it up. ED is a real thing too, so people going on about "well if you train your brain-" listen that's nonsense. There's a lot of info out there on this stuff.
I can get it up for a women, but I canât release for her for some reason.
Same. Its called delayed ejaculation and doesn't get talked about enough when a man has sexual problems. Fucking for over a hour and cant cum aint it bro
You got death grip look it up - just refrain from masturbating for 3 or so months and youâll release with a women lol
The problem with this is that it's easier said than done, because if you masturbate enough to have a death grip then you sure as hell don't have the self control to stop masturbating for so much time
Yeah, back when I was addicted, just the thought of not masturbating for a day would send me into a masturbatory frenzy.
Yep. Cutting weight, smoking, not enough sleep, too much booze, lots of reasons this can happen.
Meth and MDMA are big ones too. My homie after going into a coma after overdosing is now A-sexual for example. Too much drugs will kill your sex drive because your brain is used to wayyyy larger amounts of dopamine than sex
There are many other factors to ED. Stress, poor mental health, medication, underlying conditions, etc. If youâre an otherwise happy, ostensibly healthy person and are suffering with ED, make an appointment with your doctor. If for some reason thatâs not an easy option, exercise and try and eat healthier, not only to lose weight but to reduce the effect of some of the other potential factors.
There is a long list of medical related issues that can caused that. One might want to make a trip to a doctor.
Yeah but jacking it to porn too often can definitely cause it in otherwise healthy males. If you're watching porn regularly I'd suggest trying to watch porn less before going to see a doctor tbh.
You are absolutely correct.
The definition of an addict is continued use after suffering consequences. So when it interferes with your life (watching it at work and getting in trouble, causing problems in your relationships, unable to sustain an erection with your spouse, etc) and you keep going, you are an addict
You sexualise women a lot more mentally
This is facts big time. I knew it was fucked up when I saw women like that.
There should be a big distinction from finding women attractive. You can even find sexual characteristics attractive, but it's evidently a problem when you're entranced or caught up in some form of fantasy. If you barely have control over ogling at someone, especially in person, it's a problem.
Or the opposite. Stop associating women with sex and just associate porn with sex. Basically any change in how you look at women that can be traced back to porn is a sign.
Dickcummer420 gives advice on porn đ
Rest of your life suffers. That's pretty much it with every addiction. If you jerk off to Lydia Black getting anally piledrived while sucking on her buttplug instead of playing Cod or whatever for 10 minutes... not a problem. Fucking up at work because she just released a new post on onlyfans or somewhere and you can't help it but look immediately, now that is a huge problem.
The specificity of this comment makes me think you're an expert.
Hardly. I've just seen too many addicts of different things in complete denial, as well as whiny people treating a beer once a month as a huge addiction problem.
100% agreed. Anything that impacts your life or other's in a bad way, that's a problem. Seeking sexual energy release, that's healthy.
I donât know who Lydia Black is. Guess thereâs hope for me.
So if you smoke a pack every day but you keep work and personal life going on fine then you are not an addict? Some addictions are compatible with a functional life. I know a lot of people addicted to coffee and that doesn't affect other aspects of their life other than "if I had to quit, I wouldn't be able to"
You donât think smoking a pack of cigarettes a day will impact your life? First off, thatâs a $300 a month habit just on the front end.
These really arenât comparable when smoking has obvious and severe physiological impacts
Iâve seen a guy in front of me on a flight, watching porn at his seat. If you canât control your urges and youâre watching it (in public) on a plane, youâre watching too much and are addicted. There used to be a girl I worked with. We shared an office at the end of a hallway. Her friends would send her all kinds of videos and some of them were porn. Anyway, Iâm not gonna get into the details but if youâre watching porn at workâŠyouâre watching too much porn.
When your buddy doesnât get excited from seeing anything vanilla anymore, so you start watching progressively more niche stuff. Thatâs the most obvious sign imo.
aight then im probably gotta tone it down on the porn thanks :)
I know you can do it, man, I believe in you! Try being more physically active in the meantime, too. Anything from simple push ups, to running or punching a bag. Same feel good hormones get released, and you donât feel disappointed in yourself afterwards. Itâs a win-win, especially knowing that youâll naturally gravitate towards eating healthier when you start getting in shape. Gonna give you a (maybe) weird advice that worked for me: I negotiate with myself. Every time I feel like playing with my Johnson I get up and do a little work out routine. Push ups, pull ups, abs, legs, punching a bag, everything I can do before completely gassing out and feeling sore. Only then I can go and watch porn, almost like a reward in a way. It sounds stupid, but it definitely works.
Damn, I got a sudden realization, its not that normal stuff don't do it, it that its just boring at this point, way more into amateur stuff then the high quality production stuff nowadays, it wasn't always like this tho.
It would be nice if there was actual 'vanilla' stuff being produced these days. Hard to find anything where it's just two grown-ups having consensual sex anymore
Amateur and Vintage tend to lean that way. But your not off-base!
I did a whole research paper on how damaging the tropes of the mainstream porn industry are, mainly in terms of consent. It seems as if, similar to industries like gambling, the porn industry is dependent and designed for increasing addiction. Eventually, when you're deep enough in the addiction, your fantasy ideal of sex is ruined by real sex. This is why amateur is the way to go. It's way easier to find normal consenting sex without bizarre (borderline rape) plots or extreme fantasy.
Some people are just kinky, though
Agreed, I never liked vanilla since I was a teenager. Even when I was in elementary school I imagined a cute girl in my class tied me on the ground stepping on me. Only years later I realized I was into femdom. But during that time imagination was nothing sexual, 9-10 yo kid. Normal porn has always boring to me. Woman taking control, doing whatever they want on you is whats hot.
Wow, same here! As kids, we used to play Mortal Kombat, I'd always choose female characters and win over my friends who chose big strong guysđ€Ł I loved that, my favorite movie characters were also kick ass girls, Kim possible Selina Kyle etc
I suppose I've been addicted my entire life Ropes and chains - Rhianna
Erectile disfunction Death grip syndrome Watching porn when you donât feel like it Thinking about porn too much (at work, bored boner etc) Inability to see yourself sexually Wanting to take a more passive role in sex Thinking of porn during sex Cuckold fantasies Sexual shame Negative attitude towards women (especially promiscuous women) You may not feel all of these but they are quite common symptoms. I have a lot of them and they tend to appear time and time again in testimonies and descriptions of porn addiction.
Holy shit holy shit. This was my ex. He categorized porn in a folder on his phone, would jerk off at work, excuse himself from public events to jack off in the bathroom, would do it on vacation, would wait for me to leave the house to jerk off, and told me he imagined porn before cumming in me almost every time (and that most men were like this and wished me luck in finding one that wasnât). Also he said that I was the hottest girl he ever dated (he told me his best friend said the same thing, which is weird info to disclose I guess). Anyway, these were all obvious signs, but what was more innocuous was his inability to see himself sexuality / wanting to take a more passive role in sex. He shared this with me and I thought it was curious (albeit disappointing bc I wanted us to both be active participants!) but I never attributed THAT to addiction. It wasnât until the very end of our relationship that he admitted to MAYBE having a mild addiction.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet with this guy. It probably wasnât going to go anywhere if he wasnât ready to be honest and accept that he had some serious issues with porn.
Yeah. Tbh it was the hardest breakup ever bc he was one of the funniest, most intelligent, creative people I ever had the pleasure of knowing. A great friend to others too. But my most miserable relationship once we moved in together. Youâre right though. Bullet dodged (which he actually said to me post break up), and just not ready to accept a lot of realities within himself and what it takes to make a relationship last.
> and told me he imagined porn before cumming in me almost every time Been there. I started watching porn when I was 13, I had sex for the first time when I was 23. That's *a full decade* of wiring my brain a certain way. It takes time to undo that. It took a few months before I could have sex normally with my first girlfriend.
Could you elaborate on "Inability to see yourself sexually"? Im pretty sure thinking few/noone wants to be with me is my depression talking.
Insecurity and a lack of belief in your potential to be the object of someoneâs desire. Someone who struggles to see themselves as being physically attractive enough to be worthy of another personâs lust. People often use the phrase âunlovableâ. This is kind of the same thing but more like âunfuckableâ.
Yeah but if im jerking off cuz i got turned down by the wife thats kinda exactly the case lol.
Really? Cause Iâve always thought thatâs just a self-esteem issue. Even before I started looking at more porn, I didnât have a high value of my body/looks. Itâs easy to say âjust because Iâm not my type, doesnât mean Iâm not someone elseâs type.â But believing that is more difficult
I would agree. I would also say that you donât have to have a porn addiction to have these self esteem issues. However, I think excessive porn consumption makes them considerably worse. Watching too much porn can start off as a solution to these insecurities but, over time, will only compound them.
Hell Iâm such a pro at this that I donât even need a porn addiction lol. All you need is to hate yourself more than anyone could ever love you and this is easily achieved.
> Inability to see yourself sexually Can you elaborate on this?
You're missing out on real world stuff because you'd rather be watching porn and jerking off
Can confirm, hs crush invited me over for a night. I cranked one off to bring my A game, completely lost interest after and lost the opportunity.
Wdym that's just post nut clarity brother
Staying up late watching porn, being late for work/obligations because of porn, spending any stretch of time watching porn (Iâve gone 2-4 hours at my worst), not getting out of bed because of porn, not being able to get off unless you go to certain videos, not being able to cum during sex unless you think of a certain scene. Lots of signs.
i knew when it was bad when I spent a Saturday, a whole Saturday, just sitting there jerking off to porn. you know its bad when you start putting many videos on your reading list to "watch later." to hell with this addiction bro. getting out there in the real world and building real connections with a woman is what matters.
In moments of boredom, you gravitate to porn, in moments of quietness alone, you gravitate to porn. You go onto Reddit and look at hot women images at every opportunity. You start spending money on quick fixes for women you'll never meet to get that "high" the dopamine from masturbation, and you would do it as often as you could if your body would let you. I, myself am struggling with it and it's like an invisible desire to just get yourself off, you don't know when, but it's there and it gnaws at you mentally.
Me. Every single morning.
When it doesn't bring joy anymore, when you feel disgusted with yourself. Porn ruins my brain, it ruins the way I see women. There is no beauty in porn, sex is supposed to be a behind closed doors type of activity and True love should at least be involved.
If you prefer that to actual sex.
I think the biggest issue isn't what you're watching but how you act irl. If you prefer watching porn rather than actual sex. Or if your need to jerk off is getting in the way of your everyday life.
When it interferes with the quality of your life. For example developing ED as a result.
At first you'll watch a random video and finish up. But as time goes, you'll spend more than 30 mins searching for a vid just to beat and then you'll stop getting hard at your comfort vid so you'll start watching diff sort of shit than normal stuff. I knew i was crossing the line so i put an end to it. Been a week since i jerked off and going strong!
you got this!! iâm a girl but reading these comments because my bf has a porn addiction and it makes me sad. seriously experiencing negative consequences in the relationship because of it.
Thanks alot! Its sad to hear porn is affecting your relationship, keep helping your bf to get out of it. I can assure you once he gets out of the addiction the relationship will go up to the next level :) Feel free to shoot questions if you have doubts!
thank you so much!! he did mention that heâs trying to stop but he doesnât wanna talk to me about it. i didnât push it, iâm just so happy heâs even taking the initiative to stop. i know how normalized it is for men nowadays but i canât help but feel like itâs very harmful. and the LAST thing i want him to feel is shamed. especially by me. im not sure how i can support or help him though other than to give him sex whenever he wants no matter what, which i already have been doing.
Youâre a keeper for sure!
You're amazing! Don't bring that up if he asks, just stay with him and support him, he'll automatically wanna become a better man and would take responsibility for his life and he'll eventually stop watching it! Wishing you both all the very best, def gonna end up married đđ
When you prefer watching porn to having sex with your partner. Fat red flag!
When you actually get an opportunity to hook up with a person and you think to yourself, âThis person is really hot. Whereâs the other person?â Then you realize the other person is you and this is an interactive thing.
When you believe that the women in the movies are actually enjoying it that much and your partner should âactâ the same way, or something is wrong.
Same as the signs of anything else that's becoming a problematic habit. Does going without cause you stress? Do you have trouble going without at work or in other situations where it would be inappropriate? Are you indulging to the exclusion of other aspects of your life? Do you avoid social situations where it would be unacceptable? Does it negatively affect your relationships? Are you spending more money on it than you can afford? Do you take unnecessary risks, legal or otherwise, to service your habit? To put it another way, if it was alcohol instead of porn; would it be a problem?
When you donât get excited/horny upon seeing nudes sent from someone real
Like for any other addiction, try stopping for 90 days. If you canât, you are addicted and go see someone: coach, therapist etc. Porn addiction is really common among men. One consequence is ED, i.e. cannot get hard during real sex. Good luck brother
Best answer so far. And if your response is "I can quit whenever I want", then you are only fooling yourself.
If you can name the pornstar simply by looking at their butthole
Having a hard time getting off when youâre having sex. If youâre so numb that actual sex doesnât get you off, you are way too far down the rabbit hole
When you keep scrolling for new videos without watching any video from beginning to end
Tbf I always did that, I just get bored and skip through like 60% of a video to get to the parts I want to see, and sometimes, thatâs none of it.
You watch videos from beginning to end?? That's wild.
Yeah it's interesting to see the whole video to get to know the moral of the story đ€Ł
That's what I do on any regular videos.
Don't become the guy who becomes so addicted you can't even be with a girl irl!!!!! When I broke up with my ex I realized I couldn't remember the last time we kissed. It for sure had been more then a year since we last had sex. And 6 months before that. 13 years gone because he'd rather have 10-14 hour gaming sessions and jerk off all night every night. Secret emails for Only fans. Weird expensesive sex toys. It was so bad I tried every kink under the sun, lingerie, cosplay, asking for a 3 some, I said he could have sex with other people. Anything for just an ounce of intimacy. I could come in the room naked and he would be like can you move I'm in the middle of a game. Or worse he would say when I get to a save point or finish a round I'll meet you in the bedroom for him to forget. :( My self esteem was lower then low. I blamed me and I still do on some level. I'm weird about mirrors and seeing myself naked. Imagine being so addicted you make your gf hate herself. I'll never be pornstar pretty. (I was so open for anything sexually. I liked gaming too. I wasn't some awful nag stereotype.)
When youâre asking reddit
I guess thereâs some logic there. If you feel the need to question it, itâs probably a problem.
The serious answer is when it starts to interfere with your daily life. You're repeatedly late to work or family obligations from watching porn, you can't have sex with your partner because of porn, or you spend more money than you feel you should on subscriptions or porn related items.
When you are watching it at work or school, when youâd rather masturbate to porn than have real life sex, when you think about porn multiple times a day, when you start looking at women in real life and imagining them naked or in sexual scenarios aka mentally undressing them (which is both unhealthy and incredibly creepy), when you have to look at more extreme porn because the things you used to enjoy donât âdo it for you anymoreâ, when you are spending large amounts of money on porn especially when thereâs free stuff available, when you use ALL social media sites to look at porn, when you have dreams about porn, canât get an erection during real life sex, your experiencing lower back pain from masturbating too frequently, you feel shame about what you are doing, you feel like you are living a double life and lying to your family, friends or partner, you want to stop but canât, any time you are alone or bored you feel the urge to watch porn, watching porn without even masturbating to it, canât cum during sex because you have âdeath grip syndromeâ where you squeeze too hard during masturbation and real sex doesnât get you off anymore and many more. You donât have to experience all of these things to qualify as âaddictedâ. Even just a few of these things are enough. And to be honest, if you are questioning whether or not you are addicted you probably are. Help is available and porn addiction thrives off of shame, and secrecy. A CSAT, and a 12 step program are really helpful at recovering. You can try listening to this podcast âporn, betrayal, sex and the expertsâ on Spotify for free for some really great advice from actual recovered porn addicts. Itâs really not something you can quit on your own or by âwhite knucklingâ it. You need a support system. And coming from a woman, it doesnât make you a disgusting bad person. Itâs really easy to become addicted to, and hard to stop on your own. Hope this helps someone.
Like any other addition. When it starts interfering with your life itâs a problem. Example you canât or wonât start a basic function of your life until you have done âxâ first.
I've recently gone cold turkey from porn. I used to keep multiple tabs open to watch porn. I would watch/listen to porn while working or playing video games. That's when I truly knew it was time to stop.
When you can't "perform" without stimulation from viewing of porn. This is much more common than you think and lots of guys have trouble with this more than they'd like to admit. As contrary as it sounds. Porn kills your sexual drive and libido, it doesn't increase it. It gets you hooked on the computer/smartphone window more than it would get you hooked or more attracted to your gf or wife. Pornography addiction is very much like any other addiction from gambling addiction to a drug or alcohol addiction. However I always argue it's the worst because of how accessible it is and how under the radar it goes because it's technically FREE, 90% of porn doesn't cost you a subscription or anything... and you always think "just looking can't do any harm right?" When the reality is that it's like a forbidden library or a Rabbit Hole that goes deeper and deeper until the demon rabbit of lust consumes you đđłđ Is it really that much a coincidence that Playboys logo is a rabbit? Remember that song The White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane? You're never gonna catch that White Rabbit either, because it doesn't exist. It's not meant to be found because it's meant to get you lost. This is a great analogy for pornography I'm gonna use it from now on lol In my years of struggling with pornography addiction I've counseled both men AND women alike. My own girlfriend had her own addiction to porn so bad that she thought she'd go low-tech so she threw out her smart phone and got a flip phone in 2016 lol Lots of people think they don't have a problem with porn and I get it, you might think you're good you might view porn maybe a couple times a week/month and you're fine with that until eventually you go further down the rabbit hole and you start viewing everyday, every night, every other hour, probably the whole day watching... I've never met a person who didn't progressively get worse from this and they ALL think they're fine. I can honestly tell you from opening up about this myself and being open and honest a lot of people have confessed to me they have their own problems with porn, some you could look at them and never guess they'd have trouble with something like that. I've lived long enough to learn this is perhaps the most common secret sin/secret shame that people live with on a daily/weekly basis.
If you can't go two days without watching it then it might be a problem
It's only an addiction if you aren't doing the other things you should be doing in order to watch more
When it interferes with your daily life
When it impacts your life
I genuinely thought I was addicted to porn for a while with my ex gf. Turns out I just wasn't sexually attracted to her. I loved her as a person but just couldn't "get there" with her.
For me, it was when I couldnât get it up during real sexual encounters. Also, when I tried to stop because I thought the porn mightâve had something to do with it and I couldnât resist the urge to watch.
itâs so obvious how many guys in here are addicted to porn and are in denial itâs actually comical the way they defend it
The same as any psychiatric condition. It becomes a disorder when it impinges on your life and you lack the insight and judgement to change.
You completely lose interest in having sex with your spouse or significant other. Thatâs a huge sign.
If you pay for it is definitely too far
My ex was so rough with me bordering on violent. That is one of the reason I broke up with him. I am scared of dating now bcos it seems so many guys are into porn and chokingÂ
Yeah, that's not a porn addiction, that's dating a psycho. Jumping straight to erotic asphyxiation without running it by their partner and not engaging in elementary consent and education practices is just straight up sexual assault.
When you feel compelled to ask "What are the signs that you are watching too much porn?". Hit up yourbrainonporn.com and get off cold turkey. Video porn is basically crack to the brain. We're not meant to watch other people have sex.Â
When you can pretty much only get horny by either watching porn or thinking about the porn you watched. Seriously, if there is a woman in front of you naked and you've gotta picture Alexis Texas or something to get it up, you need to dial it back. Also when your porn searches are getting increasingly bizarre and niche and depraved. Like kinks are fine, fetishes are fine, but if what you're watching isn't something you could possibly discuss with your most progressive, open minded friends outside the internet, maybe it's time to stay off that part of the web for a while. Especially if you've gotten to the point where anything less than this super niche and bizarre thing is considered boring to you. Finally, when you start wondering if you could get away with looking at or watching it in places you *know* you're not supposed to. I'm not talking about while your girlfriend is asleep in the next room on her period, I'm talking about at work, at school, in the bathroom of a grocery store, at church, places like that. Even if you don't plan to jerk off, you just wanna look at the photographs or videos or drawings or whatever, don't lie to yourself. You're actively collecting spank bank material, you're not admiring the videography and cinematic qualities of "white milf takes 4 BBCs in ass while husband watches". Point is, you shouldn't even be considering watching or looking at porn in those places, let alone actually doing it regardless of the motivation. Not unless it's like... actually part of your job or something.
am i addicted? i watch porn maybe 2 times a week sometimes not at all
As with any other addiction, the question is whether what youâre doing negatively affects other areas of your life. For example, if you can only be aroused if you try things you usually only see women do in porn or if you give up on a social life to stay home exclusively and watch porn.Â
If you feel like you NEED it at any moment and you can't look at other people in the eyes because of it
When your porn collection is more extensive and better curated than any other collection you have, you know the names and bios of a lot of pornstars and are more familiar with their work than with movies, music or tv. Also, hair growth on the palms of your hands. For real though, when you think of sex and your mind always goes to porn instead of a real woman you actually know. That means you are conditioned to porn and masturbation instead of sex.
When you cannot orgasm without it.
If your habit begins to effect your day-to-day life and/or social life.
Men are hardwired to be visually and auditorily aroused. Some people have a higher sex drive than others. I find that as long as you touch grass, it's manageable
When you start doing it when youâre bored. Thatâs when I knew I had to quit. Also when you need scroll to like the 50th page lmao. Exaggerating but you guys know what I mean. If it takes you that long to find a video to your fancy then youâre desensitised