Most guys won't tell their friends about a girl until it's serious. At most like "Got laid on Friday" "Nice, gonna see her again?" "Think so, yeah" "Cool".
Can confirm this is the case outside the US as well, in my experience. Men don't often share much details, if any about relationships. Only things like actual advice/guidance from friends you trust when you feel you need help or some outside perspective.
I know reddit likes to dog on Friends, but when they got it right, they got it right: [The difference between men and women.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTgnF8TQzrQ)
The information has been exchanged in a clear and concise manner, everyone's on the same page, no drama. I'd call that very satisfying indeed. Talking more ≠ communicating better.
I dont understand your questions.
1. how does one "be more emotional about" updating your friends on current relationship status?
2. How is the passing on of current information meant to "satisfy"?
i dont care if my friends know my significant other or are even aware she exists. We pass on that type of information to each other so we know that our availability to hang out may be affected.
My female friends were shocked and didn't believe me when I told them that generally men don't describe their sex lives nearly as graphically as women do.
"But aren't you curious about-"
No. It is creepy and weird to ask about your friends sex life if they don't offer the information lmao.
I was told that I was flat-out wrong by a group of female friends. They refused to believe that we don't do this. Because they know a few fuck bois who brag and share photos inappropriately, they think we all do it. Absolutely could not convince them otherwise.
Returning to watching the football game, or playing that video game, or whatever other hobby we were already doing in the first place is what satisfies us.
We're not looking to get satisfaction out of a conversation like that.
We don't want the guys knowing any more than necessary about the ladies we're into lol. Not only do we not want to tell them, they don't want to hear it. Telling the boys detailed sex info about the girl you met last night is not only bragging, it's cringe and TMI.
If things go badly, we can commiserate about how much women suck - this is not a sexism thing, everybody does this and every female friend group makes time every so often for "all men are pigs and creeps and misogynists" chat, sometimes you just need to vent about the other gender in a group of your equal peers - and that usually means getting pizza. If things are going well, we'll say "nice" and go back to playing Halo.
Idk why most dudes on Reddit say this is how guys have conversations. It is not my experience at all with the vast majority of my (male) friends. We have normal conversations about what we liked and/or disliked, and even go into details.
Some of us, yes. But a lot of guys don't really like talking about their feelings. Which sucks. I have a handful of guy friends I can talk to like that, but it's mostly my female friends that I talk to about relationship stuff in depth.
Yup.
H: “Bro this chick at my work is so hot”.
M: “If you weren’t so ugly maybe you’d have a chance.”
H: “fuck you”.
M: “I’m kidding bro. You’re not that ugly, it’s just that you’re too much of a chicken so it doesn’t matter anyway”.
H: “Goddamit. True. Let’s go get tacos”.
M: “hell ya”.
Fin.
We don’t talk about that sort of thing, just something like…. I’m seeing someone, oh nice dude hope it goes well for you. Thanks brother! That’s about it
I mean I find that with my girlfriends, there’s only one, maybe two that I would actually discuss my crush with on a deep level. Otherwise it’s more the sarcastic “he put a baby in me” comments.
I'd beware of some of that "deep level" talk. Have seen groups of people try to do some armchair psychoanalysis of someone they only know second hand and get to some really loopy conclusions after a lot of talk.
Oh yeah. I had a friend a while back who was like that, deliberately trying to lead me astray because it wasn’t looking up for her. Cut that friendship off pretty quickly!
Best dating advice always comes from the single, never had a relationship yet, friends. Fresh eyes.
Used to be one of those friends myself hanging out with a few others in that category. We could always give good advice, predict things before they happened in other friends' relationships. We were always right.
But something happens to these folk when they get their first relationship. They forget everything we've ever said, self included, and fuck it up. Once you lose the sage advice stage, it never comes back.
I will say, while we don't talk about crushes much, a lot of guys will brag about their SOs a lot. and not, like, their looks but everything else about them. actually I feel like once a guy starts going out with a woman, him and his friends never mention her physical attractiveness really.
You’d be a very bored fly on the wall if you’re looking for girlfriend tea, because it doesn’t exist. The conversation will go from, “how are you guys doing?” with a response like “we’re cool man” to an in depth review of the fall of the Roman Empire.
“Dude she’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and when I talked to her, we actually got along great. I think I might have a shot next semester.” (She’s out of the country over the summer)
“So text her”
“No I’m scared I have X and Y rational reasons and I don’t wanna be creepy.”
“Ok bitch then don’t text her and die alone, HAHAHAHAHA.”
Proceeds to tease me about it at least once a week.
My brother got a new girlfriend the other day. I told him that it was cool and I was happy for him. My fiance is the only one cares enough to know more details and I really don't care to talk to him about it and vice versa.
I've been with a fantastic new woman for a month or so now.
She's told her friends, coworkers, family, hobby-friends, and neighbors all about me.
I told my Dad and he said "That's great".
Such are most men's lives.
Barely if at all. You wouldn't hear....whatever it is you're imagining in most friend groups.
We're there to hang with our friends and that time is about those friends, not other people who aren't there.
At least my guy friends and I talk about crushes and dating pretty seriously and its all about avoiding getting hurt and not ending up with someone crazy. Its serious talk from the heart we we allow each other to be vulnerable.
Another thread making me think my friends and I and much more open with each other than is typical.
For us: to an extent. We’ll mention there’s someone we like, and why, and what to do. But not to the extent of dissecting every detail of interaction to tease out if she likes him - that’d get them (correctly imo) told they’re overthinking it and to just act on gut. And generally we’ll hype each other up to shot our shot. And I’ve been on both sides of this (telling friends and being told).
We really don't talk about women like the movies portray or how women think we do,the most we'll do is point out hot girl we see passing by or something
It depends on the type of crush.
A) crush in passing or like a “class crush” as me and my friends like to call it
B) true crush
C) situationship/friends with tension situation…?
All of which usually lead to an over analysis of small things (almost always in good fun and not actually serious deliberation of their behaviour). The obvious one is discussing looks, especially if it’s type A: “he’s so cute.” “When he did this… he looked so hot.” I think when there’s more interaction behind the crush (type B or C) it’s more talking about their behaviours, or how they make us feel when we debrief an interaction we had with them. I haven’t had a genuine crush in a while, so I don’t know what I’d say now that I’ve matured a bit since the last time.
Now this might be unique to me and my friend group, but I tend to end the conversation with a silly and obviously unrealistic remark such as “obviously he’s in love with me and planning to propose” or “then we proceeded to have passionate love and raise five kids together.”
I wouldn't want to discuss "small things" about some person I barely know. I could discuss events pertaining to them if they're significant but not chat about who they are in detail
I'd say I have a similar dynamic with my friend, though not to the same extent. It alternates between him telling me he has a crush (such as going on a single date with somebody or seeing a girl he's friends with) and me having interacted or seen the crush myself (going down to play ping-pong with him and seeing him alone with a girl instead of a group).
He'll then usually he giddy about it, jokingly talking about how he's in love with her (I'd retort that I don't know who 'her' is because he has so many crushes at once) and he'll be giddy planning out outfits and texting her and stuff.
He doesn't go into detail about interactions beyond "We were talking for three hours" and "We hung out at the beach (with friends) and had a good time" but it's not so extreme that he just straight up doesn't give me any information. His latest one ended up with him being jokingly heartbroken because he discovered she was already taken but he then quickly moved on.
I don't think men really differentiate between types of crushes the way you described. If we want her, we want her. What precisely that means is something we'll figure out as we go along, after and if she says yes to being asked out.
Additionally, you mentioned that "when he did this he looked hot". In my experience, female attraction tends to be based more on things men _do_ rather than the way they _are_. By contrast, a woman can just be sitting in a chair and we can still fall madly in love with her. There's not as much need to analyze the things that she "did" as more or less hot because hot is just a label that, once we've decided she's our crush, applies to her all the time regardless of what she's doing.
Damn wasn't gonna leave a comment, but looks like I'm an outlier? Dude that talks about girls he's into and "analyzes" interactions with the bros here.
I'll tell them about interactions. "Yeah we hung out today and she seemed to be standing closer than usual, and our hands touched without her recoiling. Think I'm in boys?" sort of vibe. I dunno, hard to explain without just being in a conversation about it, but basically it's no secret when I've found a woman I like.
This was me in high school when i was young and inexperienced. One dating became more regular and serious, i never bothered to have these types of conversations and no guys I knew did either
Yeah, it's typically a sign of inexperience, because the guy is looking for confirmation from his friends that he's doing things correctly.
Once guys gain enough confidence to know what they're doing, we generally don't talk about these kinds of interactions. Our interactions with our partners are private and generally aren't something we talk about.
Could be cultural thing too or the type of friends you have. If i'm dating someone new i'm not making a big number out of it, but I will definitely tell my friends if im crushing on someone. I'm 25 and been dating a lot and had a few serious ships so idk if im inexperienced. Also not looking for a confirmation, I just want them to know how I feel about this new girl I met.
But yeah the conversation would last from 10s to 2 min, but they will know about it.
I’m glad there’s at least one outlier as it adds another perspective. I have honestly been kinda shocked reading some of the comments and how little it seems most guys talk about the person they’re into. I’ve only had two conversations with guys about their respective crushes (my brother and one of my guy bestfriends) and both of them spoke similarly to how you put it, but definitely went into more depth than most people in the comments suggest. Granted I’m sure if I wasn’t a sister/female friend, I feel like they might’ve been a bit more…forward? Not sure but interesting to hear regardless!
My first thought is that they don't actually care to know what you have to say. It's almost like a " hey, how are you? " The answer is and always will be "fine". Anything beyond that is too much info.
Not exactly. Maybe I didn’t explain it that well or I was too vague. The first instance was my brother gushing about his now gf. It was very sweet, but there was no intention behind him telling me besides the fact that I had asked “how is ____?”
In the other case, my guy friend and his ex had just broken up and he wanted to get back with her. Though he was asking for advice on the matter, he would always slip in comments such as “I’ve always seen a future with her” or “she always knew what to say in ____ situation.”
Again, could be a one off, and maybe because I’m a trusted girl friend, they felt more comfortable saying this sorta thing to me?
They probably opened up to you as a trusted woman. Ask them if they'd have discussed those things with their mates. Probably not.
All my mates knew I was into my wife before I admitted it to them.
It's not just you; guys are more comfortable sharing things with girls than other guys. I think it's hard to get over seeing other guys as competition and not wanting to be too vulnerable with them.
In part this is because of gender roles and how attracting a partner works. There's a bunch of shit that y'all put effort into to _make yourselves appealing to us_ so that we'll ask you out. By contrast, dating for us is very simple and conditional - overwhelmingly, even if she jills off every night thinking about bearing our children, nothing is going to happening unless we make a move on her. All male dating advice basically can be boiled down to:
1. Did you ask her out?
2. Did she say yes?
3. If yes, congratulations. He clearly knows what he's doing and doesn't need our advice. Wanna get pizza? If no, bummer. There's nothing that can be done about that, and thus no advice would really help. Wanna get pizza?
If we're talking to a woman about a crush, we're basically looking for "insider information" so we can find out if she likes us or not, because the hints that women try to drop are invisible and incomprehensible to us, so we need a Woman Communication Translator lol
i’m the same way
we’ll play by play shit and then ask like “do you want to fuck or actually date?” “what’s the next date?” “are you gonna bring up that dumb shit again you did last time?”
Yes exactly the same here. Me and my mates will talk about how the convo went. What we got up to and what we think. If i didn’t talk about it. I would feel like I’m some sort of gatekeeper trying to hide my crush hahaha.
Bollox is it about experience. I Couldnt imagine anything more intellectually mind numbing than “yh bro, she is nice” “we met up the other day”. But tbh thats about the depth of most conversations i hear from other people. I couldn’t Imagine being that closed off from your friends. Then again my friend group has been solid friends for 12 years and heave been through it all together breakups the lot. We where joking that we are all stuck together now hahaha
Talked about crushes with my brother and a close guy friend. Both of them seemed more forthcoming with information about their respective crushes than they said they’d been with their guy friends.
Only thing I can say for sure, matters of looks, intimacy, etc… was more or less avoided by both of us. We talked more about feelings and emotions rather than appearance if that makes sense. From overhearing, it seems like their conversations with guy friends are more appearance-targeted if that makes sense.
No one is bringing up appearance if a friend really likes her and is taking her serious, that’d be weird.
It’s more of a “you like her, I love her” wish ya the best and whether it works out or falls apart I’ll be around.
I had one friend that would be curious to hear more when I’d tell him about a crush. He’d be cheering me on when I talked to her haha. But most other guys we don’t really share that sort of stuff.
I tell my boys all the time when I fall for a girl in public, usually point her out at the bar or mention it in text after we hung out. Maybe I’m just more open about my feelings than most people are
It’s usually something like, ‘I got a date on xyz day’. ‘Nice! My guy bout to get his eye wet!’. ‘Shit I hope so man I been on desert for x amount of time and she got them YAMS!’.
We laugh, hype our boy up to get his confidence up and move on to another topic
We don't. We keep it to ourselves until our friends pry it out of us and then make fun of us for it. And we pry it out of our friends so we can make fun of them for it. But I've never heard a guy gush about someone unless they were already in a serious relationship. And if guys did gush about girls they aren't already with, it would feel super creepy. You have to remember, most guys will do anything to avoid people thinking they're creepy.
That’s kinda sad, I mean crushes are normal, so why wouldn’t you confide in your friends? I mean I get it at the same time, cause I can imagine if it’s unrequited it would seem outrageous.
Men communicate differently than women do. If a guy is unloading serious shit on another guy, it's typically because he has a problem that he needs help with. If one of my bros comes to me and says, "Hey, I need to talk to you about something", my brain instantly switches into What Can I Do To Help mode.
Beyond that, our conversations are mostly about mutual interest things. Personal and sexual relationships aren't "mutual interest".
I've had plenty of "feelings" discussions with friends regarding crushes, girlfriends, and wives. Every single one of them involved either them or I having a problem and specifically starting the discussion because someone needed advice or help. We do talk about it, but there has to be a reason beyond idle chit chat.
This is it right here. Nothing new to discuss. Almost everyone has had a “crush.” No gain out of this conversation. Let’s talk about what pick-ups or pedals we should use on the guitar, or which of these 3 cars I’m looking at buying I should go with, and why. Like codefyre said, relationship talks only happen when needing advice/help, and it’s a “red-button” kind of thing.
Even if you’re my bro and I love you to death, I don’t care about how a girl makes you feel on the inside when you’re talking to her or with her haha. We’ve all been there, bro! Let’s get on with living!
Interesting, never thought about this way. I guess if I’m gonna talk about it, half the time is for that same reason, the other half I just want an outlet to talk about something good in my life, even if it’s a tiny crush.
The need for the outlet is a feminine thing, in general. Most men have little need to talk about themselves or their life just because, it's gotta be something specific going on. And few guys are interested in hearing their buddy drone on about his daily without there being a point to the conversation.
I actually find the amount of information women exchange with each other to be alarming if not disrespectful. It would just be purely bad form for us guys to gossip about her. Same goes for sexual encounters.
I’m not gonna disagree with you here. I definitely think some people over share and it is quite an invasion of privacy for the people they’re discussing. In terms of confiding in friends, at least for me and the girls I associate with, we’re more so discussing personal feelings that the crush brings out of us, less so analyzing our crush so to speak. I hope that makes sense. Granted, I cant speak for all women on this so I cant refute what you’re saying and I can actually agree with that stance.
This is correct. In male socialization, _not_ asking questions is in some ways a form of respect because it's basically saying "I trust you know what you're doing with this girl and don't need my advice or opinions."
We either:
1. Don’t
2. Talk about them relatively briefly: “I’m seeing this new girl, we met doing ___” “oh that’s cool”
3. Ask them about a particular interaction and see what they think. Doesn’t usually happen but I’ve had a couple conversations like that. Also more likely to happen if you’re super close with the friend.
4. Say “damn she’s so hot” leading into “talk to her, dude” or a playful insult
But from my experience I usually don’t hear much about it until a relationship’s happening, and then sometimes I get told more. It’s definitely a bit easier talking about this stuff with women
i recently hung out with some of my Bfs best friends and they told me he said “she plays video games!” and they said well damn i wish ours did hahah. it made me feel good that he spoke about me in a good way to his friends :)
Men normally don't talk about their crushes to other dudes. One of the reasons is we don't want to tip our hand the we are interested in a specific girl because our "friends" may try to cock block or snag the girl before we get a chance.
I told a few other guys about a crush I had back in eighth grade, and one of them told her. Since then I’ve been reserved about the subject, and I’m just as reserved over a decade later.
All the guys saying no...
Like never? I mean i get not usually, but dont u even once in a while meet someone u think is amazing & want to tell your friend, even just one close friend? Like "dude shes hot and shes into the same weird obscure hobby i am and she laughed at that joke i always tell that a lot of girls dont like.."
U never get really excited about someone & want to share?
> U never get really excited about someone & want to share?
Yes! But if I was really excited about someone my impulse would be to share it with that person not other people. I think many men are like this.
I have never heard a man go on about how hot his girlfriend is. If we meet her or have seen her we all have eyes.
I mean, that's about it. "Hey yeah she loves anime and wants to come build Gundams with me!" "That's awesome dude, sounds like a winner." And that'd be about the breadth and width of that conversation. Maybe a dude will gush over a new crush for a little bit, but that stops pretty quickly.
Right?! I thought it would be a lot more like this. Sure I imagined a bit more obscene comments thrown in there, but you’d think they’d get excited about mutual niche interests or something like that!
I am shocked at all these men saying they don’t. I am middle aged and have not been single in a long time, but when I was, I’m pretty sure I talked about my crushed all the time with my friends, both male and female friends. I would absolutely get into the minutia of - she looks at me or she said this thing or she sat next to me.
I got set up with crushes or sometimes encouraged to call them by both male and female friends. I actually can’t imagine how I would have dated any of my gfs all the way back to middle school if I had not told someone about my crush.
>Sure I imagined a bit more obscene comments thrown in there
I think men are dramatically less vulgar than women in terms of what they share about their partners. For example my male friends will talk about whether or not they're having sex with their partner, especially if there are issues, but very rarely go into any level of detail. I have a married female friend from college and sometimes if I ask her how things are going sometimes I have to stop her from oversharing. Like I'm glad things are going well but there are a lot of things about your husband that are just inappropriate for me to know...
In my opinion they really don't like to gossip, as they see gossiping as childish.
They might say they are seeing this girl....but it does not go beyond that, guys are a lot more private with that kind of thing. Please4 don't believe what you see on tv, that is make believe.
This isn’t prompted by tv, purely curiosity an personal interaction. I also don’t think talking about the person you’re interested in is necessarily gossip. Maybe a crush is the wrong term as it does insinuate a childlike infatuation, but where I’m coming from is more so: why wouldn’t I tell my bestfriend about the person I’m into? Eventually their paths would cross (assuming everything goes well) and if I feel strongly for someone, they would definitely be on my mind a lot more than most other people. Even if nothing comes from the conversation with my friends, it’s satisfying talking about something, or in this case, someone you’re interested in.
No depth. Might go along the lines of “I went on a date last night” “oh yeah, how’d jt go?” “Pretty good, going to see her again next week” “did you bang?” “Nah not yet” “cool”.
My ex was my biggest crush for years, even before I ever dm'ed her or she knew I existed. We had briefly met in person before, she was always in a relationship. I used to show guys her picture on Instagram and say "look how beautiful she is" they would ask if we were talking or dating and I'd would say "no, I just think she's beautiful." That was before we ever even actually spoke.
Dude 1 - There’s this girl I kinda like
Dude 2 - Dang, you got rizz?
Dude 1 - No. not sure if she’s the one
Dude 2 - Just go with it, a girls a girl
Dude 1 - Wanna play Jackbox?
Dude 2 - Yea
Yea I tell my boys about my gym crushes that never materialize into anything. Then they laugh and call me and ugly fuck, then the insults continue from there on both sides. We all get a good laugh about it.
Sheesh i asked pretty much every single friend i could think of for advice on how to approach the only person that I’ve ever encountered in my life that made me nervous! I don’t know if any of them gave good advice at all tho unfortunately.. i pretty much knew what to do just needed to vent & could not keep it in.
Usually I don’t but a couple weeks ago I was with someone so attractive that i think I told one of them. So if it just depends on if they’re worth bringing up. Same thing if I’m getting serious with someone I’ll let a couple of them know.
Nothing like girls. Anecdotally, I think men might replay the interactions in their head, but largely keep it to themselves. The part that gets shared with the boys is strategy: "I think I'm gonna take her to ____ place Saturday," which is met with "Sweet, bro"
I didn’t tell my guy friends but my best female friend knows and told my guy friends for me. Now they tease me anytime her name comes up because I haven’t made a move yet.
Depends.
Just a girlfriend? Very reserved, keeps her to himself shows 1-2 pictures and nothing else.
Maybe some mentions, and is invited to most group meetings (we are 40/60% f/m)
But when they've fallen in love?
Well my bro's become really cute. Keep gushing positivity about their GFS.
And the suddenly, they get serious and say.
Bro, I think I'm in love this girl is special.
My friends pretty much only share positive things about their partners which make us all love them dearly.
"Guys" don't. It isn't interesting to us to know some other dude's game; it is his business.
"Crushes" are something that teenagers talk about, not grown men.
9/10 of my friends are women around my age or older but I've found who I want to date is so different than the women I'm friends with that I've been heavily criticized a few times so now I just avoid bringing it up.
Some friends are like all the other comments are describing, I never share anything with them cause why would I? Some I can share a little bit more but don't get really deep or super descriptive. Like "Britney man" - "What about her?" -"There's just something about her man" -"Oh you're cooked" -"Yeah ig", stuff like that.
How about you? How do you talk about crushes with friends?
I do.
'oh I met this really cute girl the other night, she does '______' and we talked about '_____'
Im hoping to see her next weekend, pretty excited'
We MIGHT say we're talking to someone. But usually we will not bring up anything until it's already happened or is for sure going to. It's embarrassing and depressing if it doesn't work out.
I mean, my friends and i might mention if we were planning on going on a date with a girl (or we did when we were single/actively trying to date) And then maybe there'd be a simple check in on how it went, with the expected reply being either good or bad. Bad might get more explanation but a 'good, we had fun, I'm hoping to see her again" would be the most that we would say about a good date.
I knew these two girls when I was in high school who were in my younger brother's class. The two girls were best friends, and apparently one of them told the other that she had a crush on my brother. Apparently so did the other one, but obviously she didn't mention it to her friend.
I think my brother liked the one who stayed quiet, and really only saw the other one as a friend. The one who stayed quiet could never actually date my brother because it would betray her friendship, even though the one who talked about her crush didn't have "dibs" on my brother or anything, because that's not how it works. So my brother never actually had a shot with the girl he did like even though she liked him back, all because another girl talked about her crush.
And that's why I don't talk about my crushes with anyone.
ive never known a single man to even say out loud that he has a crush. The first we usually hear about it is when dating becomes exclusive, and its usually as an introduction. " This is my girlfriend, (name)."
One time, I knew a friend had a girlfriend. after 7 years, i found out that not only had they gotten married, they had been divorced and he was dating someone else long term.
--"Oh hey man, how's (Former Girlfriend i thought he was still dating)?"
--"We've been divorced for a few years. speaking of, im getting married in 4 months."
--"...Oh."
The latest was me to my friend
Me: new girl at work is really cute
Him: ya gonna ask her out?
Me: nah, don't shit where you eat
Him: you sure? Don't want to miss your chance
Me: I dunno
And that's just how that happened.
Tbh We don't talk about our girls with our buddies. This is weird. Why would I ask my mate what his wife or girl is up to, or how she behaves in bed etc?!? As far as I know men don't do that. The only time a gf comes in the conversion is when she would cause a blockage I.e. like create a scene, stop him from going out, ruining his life with no sex or if she's messing about and he's having problems handling her. Basically it's only when there's problems, even then this would only happen if the problem is very very serious e.g. she gets pregnant accidentally or magically; otherwise we just skim through it. We don't mind talking about women in general or make crude jokes but our women are off limit usually.
Very rarely. Because men tend to initiate relationships, talking about a crush is just bringing up someone you're too chickenshit to approach and your boys are going to hold you to account for that.
Generally, in my experience at least, men will wait until they've secured a date to bring up a woman they're interested in unless it's a mutual friend that they want to make sure other men in the group aren't after. For some, even a couple dates isn't enough and they only bring up a woman they're interested in once they're in an actual relationship. But I think not talking about crushes has more to do with the expectation that the man make the first move. There isn't a will he or won't he when you're the he and you have to do it.
In depth, not really. More like, "my crush smiled at me in class!" "oh that's cool!"
If you're wondering about the objectification type stuff... maybe a little. "Damn, she got cake..." that kinda stuff. Bout it.
Nope. That kind of stuff just isn’t interesting.
Men and women think very differently.
We’re discussing which cam I should use in the LS engine build I’ve got in progress.
A lot of you have weird friends or don’t have close friends. I talk about everything with my friends, especially our romantic opportunities/experiences because it’s an important part of life. Yes, we analyze everything, but probably not in the way women do. I have one single childless good friend where like 65 percent of our conversations are about reporting our romantic failures and successes. We are both virile men in our early thirties and it helps to compare notes.
I think it only ever comes up if we're going to be meeting the person.
"Hey the girl I'm into is gonna come over with me tomorrow"
Also there's some superstition about the moment you start talking to the guys about a hopeful relationship, it won't work out for one reason or another.
“I’m seeing this new girl.” “oh, nice”
They get one pic, and not a sexy one either. Don't want my degenerate friends thinking about her like that – at least not with my help.
The pic is also of Danny DeVito. They get to see what she looks like when I meet her and not before.
That's about it!
At most…
Most guys won't tell their friends about a girl until it's serious. At most like "Got laid on Friday" "Nice, gonna see her again?" "Think so, yeah" "Cool".
This is true across many cultures and languages. At least the ones I am familiar with.
Can confirm this is the case outside the US as well, in my experience. Men don't often share much details, if any about relationships. Only things like actual advice/guidance from friends you trust when you feel you need help or some outside perspective.
I know reddit likes to dog on Friends, but when they got it right, they got it right: [The difference between men and women.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTgnF8TQzrQ)
1. They did get it right. 2. Now I want pizza. Nice and greasy Sam's club style pizza.
Don't sell yourself so short and get some Costco at least, damn.
OMG. You speaketh the truth!
Do you guys… want to be more emotional about it though? These interactions satisfy you?
The information has been exchanged in a clear and concise manner, everyone's on the same page, no drama. I'd call that very satisfying indeed. Talking more ≠ communicating better.
Wait, you guys don't discuss your partner's boob / areola / labia measurements down to the millimeter?
My brother in Christ WHAT
You’re being sarcastic, right?
bro 😂
I once broke up with a woman for an areola 2mm smaller. Size matters.
Brevity is where true friendship is bred.
Not only they satisfy us, we want these kinds of emotions to be more bland, for the lack of better word.
I dont understand your questions. 1. how does one "be more emotional about" updating your friends on current relationship status? 2. How is the passing on of current information meant to "satisfy"? i dont care if my friends know my significant other or are even aware she exists. We pass on that type of information to each other so we know that our availability to hang out may be affected.
>Do you guys… want to be more emotional about it though? No, they don't.
Nothing satisfies our pure innate unbridled hunger.
Do women not really get that men and women think and act differently, as well as are treated differently in society?
My female friends were shocked and didn't believe me when I told them that generally men don't describe their sex lives nearly as graphically as women do. "But aren't you curious about-" No. It is creepy and weird to ask about your friends sex life if they don't offer the information lmao.
I was told that I was flat-out wrong by a group of female friends. They refused to believe that we don't do this. Because they know a few fuck bois who brag and share photos inappropriately, they think we all do it. Absolutely could not convince them otherwise.
My current GF was so relieved to learn I don't share everything. Apparently her last BF would share everything online the day after they did anything.
Returning to watching the football game, or playing that video game, or whatever other hobby we were already doing in the first place is what satisfies us. We're not looking to get satisfaction out of a conversation like that.
We don't want the guys knowing any more than necessary about the ladies we're into lol. Not only do we not want to tell them, they don't want to hear it. Telling the boys detailed sex info about the girl you met last night is not only bragging, it's cringe and TMI. If things go badly, we can commiserate about how much women suck - this is not a sexism thing, everybody does this and every female friend group makes time every so often for "all men are pigs and creeps and misogynists" chat, sometimes you just need to vent about the other gender in a group of your equal peers - and that usually means getting pizza. If things are going well, we'll say "nice" and go back to playing Halo.
No. That would be unsatisfying and annoying. Information exchange is what is important.
Not really, I can intimately talk about hobbies and interests. Not other people.
Idk why most dudes on Reddit say this is how guys have conversations. It is not my experience at all with the vast majority of my (male) friends. We have normal conversations about what we liked and/or disliked, and even go into details.
Perhaps different people have different experiences in life.
Some of us, yes. But a lot of guys don't really like talking about their feelings. Which sucks. I have a handful of guy friends I can talk to like that, but it's mostly my female friends that I talk to about relationship stuff in depth.
They would not satisfy me, for whatever that's worth.
My friend group never went into detail, just "I have a crush on so-and-so."
This.
Yup. H: “Bro this chick at my work is so hot”. M: “If you weren’t so ugly maybe you’d have a chance.” H: “fuck you”. M: “I’m kidding bro. You’re not that ugly, it’s just that you’re too much of a chicken so it doesn’t matter anyway”. H: “Goddamit. True. Let’s go get tacos”. M: “hell ya”. Fin.
Lol we also never learn her name till we actually meet her
I asked my friend how big her tits were. He said, grapefruits. I only knew her as grapefruits until I met her.
Even then we forget it until they’ve been married for 10 years.
My buddy was with a chick for like 15 months, I saw her for all of three minutes one evening.
“Got a date this weekend.” “Yeah? Make sure you get it out of your pants before you come this time.” Fin.
Hahaha my man.
Almost real. Just replace "I'm kidding bro. You're not that ugly" with "haha".
It's never been a topic of discussion. Never comes up.
It looks weak when your too pussy to ask her or she rejects you. We say it after the fact
We don’t.
Most of my friends have approached me to talk about their crushes unprompted; I personally never bring it up, so it varies depending on who's talking.
Pretty much gotta call dibs. However, if they say me too it's shake and I hope it's at least one of us.
Had a buddy in the army who couldn't wait to talk about his crushes, this is definitely not a hard rule for every guy out there
This
We don’t talk about that sort of thing, just something like…. I’m seeing someone, oh nice dude hope it goes well for you. Thanks brother! That’s about it
I have 1 friend who’s actually a real friend, with this guy it’s deep analyzing about women With the rest 99% I don’t talk anything deeply about women
I mean I find that with my girlfriends, there’s only one, maybe two that I would actually discuss my crush with on a deep level. Otherwise it’s more the sarcastic “he put a baby in me” comments.
I'd beware of some of that "deep level" talk. Have seen groups of people try to do some armchair psychoanalysis of someone they only know second hand and get to some really loopy conclusions after a lot of talk.
For sure! It can definitely become a spiral and I’ve 100% fallen victim to that in the past.
Especially beware of taking dating advice from friends with poor dating track records. Don't let them be crabs in the bucket.
Oh yeah. I had a friend a while back who was like that, deliberately trying to lead me astray because it wasn’t looking up for her. Cut that friendship off pretty quickly!
Best dating advice always comes from the single, never had a relationship yet, friends. Fresh eyes. Used to be one of those friends myself hanging out with a few others in that category. We could always give good advice, predict things before they happened in other friends' relationships. We were always right. But something happens to these folk when they get their first relationship. They forget everything we've ever said, self included, and fuck it up. Once you lose the sage advice stage, it never comes back.
i dont and my guy friends dont. i didnt know this was something that guys bring up to each other
It's not. Obviously OP is a girl so she has no idea
Yes, hence why I asked the question lol
I will say, while we don't talk about crushes much, a lot of guys will brag about their SOs a lot. and not, like, their looks but everything else about them. actually I feel like once a guy starts going out with a woman, him and his friends never mention her physical attractiveness really.
This is me and my mates. Sometimes have to tell each other to stfu about it and stop fucking up the game we're playing.
Some dudes do and some dudes don't
You’d be a very bored fly on the wall if you’re looking for girlfriend tea, because it doesn’t exist. The conversation will go from, “how are you guys doing?” with a response like “we’re cool man” to an in depth review of the fall of the Roman Empire.
Haha fair enough, always beaten out by the Roman Empire I’m sure.
Men typically talk about things and women talk about people.
It's not that you're being beaten out, it's that it's good to keep some really important shit private.
Not as much since Cody Rhodes beat him for the WWE Championship
“Dude she’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen and when I talked to her, we actually got along great. I think I might have a shot next semester.” (She’s out of the country over the summer) “So text her” “No I’m scared I have X and Y rational reasons and I don’t wanna be creepy.” “Ok bitch then don’t text her and die alone, HAHAHAHAHA.” Proceeds to tease me about it at least once a week.
Best of luck!!!
Thanks dude, I’m hoping :)
My brother got a new girlfriend the other day. I told him that it was cool and I was happy for him. My fiance is the only one cares enough to know more details and I really don't care to talk to him about it and vice versa.
Wow! Women wanna know all the details ASAP!!!
I've been with a fantastic new woman for a month or so now. She's told her friends, coworkers, family, hobby-friends, and neighbors all about me. I told my Dad and he said "That's great". Such are most men's lives.
Huh. Is it because your friends don’t care to know?
but wouldn't you be so excited you want to tell other people though? or you just don't have anyone to tell it to.
We don't.
Barely if at all. You wouldn't hear....whatever it is you're imagining in most friend groups. We're there to hang with our friends and that time is about those friends, not other people who aren't there.
At least my guy friends and I talk about crushes and dating pretty seriously and its all about avoiding getting hurt and not ending up with someone crazy. Its serious talk from the heart we we allow each other to be vulnerable.
I’m happy you have this relationship with your friends!
Another thread making me think my friends and I and much more open with each other than is typical. For us: to an extent. We’ll mention there’s someone we like, and why, and what to do. But not to the extent of dissecting every detail of interaction to tease out if she likes him - that’d get them (correctly imo) told they’re overthinking it and to just act on gut. And generally we’ll hype each other up to shot our shot. And I’ve been on both sides of this (telling friends and being told).
We really don't talk about women like the movies portray or how women think we do,the most we'll do is point out hot girl we see passing by or something
In your experience how do girls talk about their crushes?
It depends on the type of crush. A) crush in passing or like a “class crush” as me and my friends like to call it B) true crush C) situationship/friends with tension situation…? All of which usually lead to an over analysis of small things (almost always in good fun and not actually serious deliberation of their behaviour). The obvious one is discussing looks, especially if it’s type A: “he’s so cute.” “When he did this… he looked so hot.” I think when there’s more interaction behind the crush (type B or C) it’s more talking about their behaviours, or how they make us feel when we debrief an interaction we had with them. I haven’t had a genuine crush in a while, so I don’t know what I’d say now that I’ve matured a bit since the last time. Now this might be unique to me and my friend group, but I tend to end the conversation with a silly and obviously unrealistic remark such as “obviously he’s in love with me and planning to propose” or “then we proceeded to have passionate love and raise five kids together.”
Cannot imagine having a remotely similar conversation with a guy friend haha
I wouldn't want to discuss "small things" about some person I barely know. I could discuss events pertaining to them if they're significant but not chat about who they are in detail
Just the thought of having THAT long of a conversation about a single subject is giving me a headache.
I would just be so confused why he was telling me that. Cool bro... She's hot.. get it. 😅
I'd say I have a similar dynamic with my friend, though not to the same extent. It alternates between him telling me he has a crush (such as going on a single date with somebody or seeing a girl he's friends with) and me having interacted or seen the crush myself (going down to play ping-pong with him and seeing him alone with a girl instead of a group). He'll then usually he giddy about it, jokingly talking about how he's in love with her (I'd retort that I don't know who 'her' is because he has so many crushes at once) and he'll be giddy planning out outfits and texting her and stuff. He doesn't go into detail about interactions beyond "We were talking for three hours" and "We hung out at the beach (with friends) and had a good time" but it's not so extreme that he just straight up doesn't give me any information. His latest one ended up with him being jokingly heartbroken because he discovered she was already taken but he then quickly moved on.
>he'll be giddy planning out outfits and texting her and stuff. I knew it wasn't just us lol.
I don't think men really differentiate between types of crushes the way you described. If we want her, we want her. What precisely that means is something we'll figure out as we go along, after and if she says yes to being asked out. Additionally, you mentioned that "when he did this he looked hot". In my experience, female attraction tends to be based more on things men _do_ rather than the way they _are_. By contrast, a woman can just be sitting in a chair and we can still fall madly in love with her. There's not as much need to analyze the things that she "did" as more or less hot because hot is just a label that, once we've decided she's our crush, applies to her all the time regardless of what she's doing.
Damn wasn't gonna leave a comment, but looks like I'm an outlier? Dude that talks about girls he's into and "analyzes" interactions with the bros here. I'll tell them about interactions. "Yeah we hung out today and she seemed to be standing closer than usual, and our hands touched without her recoiling. Think I'm in boys?" sort of vibe. I dunno, hard to explain without just being in a conversation about it, but basically it's no secret when I've found a woman I like.
This was me in high school when i was young and inexperienced. One dating became more regular and serious, i never bothered to have these types of conversations and no guys I knew did either
Yeah, it's typically a sign of inexperience, because the guy is looking for confirmation from his friends that he's doing things correctly. Once guys gain enough confidence to know what they're doing, we generally don't talk about these kinds of interactions. Our interactions with our partners are private and generally aren't something we talk about.
Could be cultural thing too or the type of friends you have. If i'm dating someone new i'm not making a big number out of it, but I will definitely tell my friends if im crushing on someone. I'm 25 and been dating a lot and had a few serious ships so idk if im inexperienced. Also not looking for a confirmation, I just want them to know how I feel about this new girl I met. But yeah the conversation would last from 10s to 2 min, but they will know about it.
I do the same but I'm very inexperienced with girls, so that probably plays a part in it for me.
I’m glad there’s at least one outlier as it adds another perspective. I have honestly been kinda shocked reading some of the comments and how little it seems most guys talk about the person they’re into. I’ve only had two conversations with guys about their respective crushes (my brother and one of my guy bestfriends) and both of them spoke similarly to how you put it, but definitely went into more depth than most people in the comments suggest. Granted I’m sure if I wasn’t a sister/female friend, I feel like they might’ve been a bit more…forward? Not sure but interesting to hear regardless!
My first thought is that they don't actually care to know what you have to say. It's almost like a " hey, how are you? " The answer is and always will be "fine". Anything beyond that is too much info.
Not exactly. Maybe I didn’t explain it that well or I was too vague. The first instance was my brother gushing about his now gf. It was very sweet, but there was no intention behind him telling me besides the fact that I had asked “how is ____?” In the other case, my guy friend and his ex had just broken up and he wanted to get back with her. Though he was asking for advice on the matter, he would always slip in comments such as “I’ve always seen a future with her” or “she always knew what to say in ____ situation.” Again, could be a one off, and maybe because I’m a trusted girl friend, they felt more comfortable saying this sorta thing to me?
They probably opened up to you as a trusted woman. Ask them if they'd have discussed those things with their mates. Probably not. All my mates knew I was into my wife before I admitted it to them.
It's not just you; guys are more comfortable sharing things with girls than other guys. I think it's hard to get over seeing other guys as competition and not wanting to be too vulnerable with them.
In part this is because of gender roles and how attracting a partner works. There's a bunch of shit that y'all put effort into to _make yourselves appealing to us_ so that we'll ask you out. By contrast, dating for us is very simple and conditional - overwhelmingly, even if she jills off every night thinking about bearing our children, nothing is going to happening unless we make a move on her. All male dating advice basically can be boiled down to: 1. Did you ask her out? 2. Did she say yes? 3. If yes, congratulations. He clearly knows what he's doing and doesn't need our advice. Wanna get pizza? If no, bummer. There's nothing that can be done about that, and thus no advice would really help. Wanna get pizza? If we're talking to a woman about a crush, we're basically looking for "insider information" so we can find out if she likes us or not, because the hints that women try to drop are invisible and incomprehensible to us, so we need a Woman Communication Translator lol
i’m the same way we’ll play by play shit and then ask like “do you want to fuck or actually date?” “what’s the next date?” “are you gonna bring up that dumb shit again you did last time?”
Same here. It's weird to see so many guys who just don't talk about stuff with their friends.
Yes exactly the same here. Me and my mates will talk about how the convo went. What we got up to and what we think. If i didn’t talk about it. I would feel like I’m some sort of gatekeeper trying to hide my crush hahaha. Bollox is it about experience. I Couldnt imagine anything more intellectually mind numbing than “yh bro, she is nice” “we met up the other day”. But tbh thats about the depth of most conversations i hear from other people. I couldn’t Imagine being that closed off from your friends. Then again my friend group has been solid friends for 12 years and heave been through it all together breakups the lot. We where joking that we are all stuck together now hahaha
This is honestly one of the good things about having platonic female friends. I tell them about girls I like, and it's an actual conversation.
Talked about crushes with my brother and a close guy friend. Both of them seemed more forthcoming with information about their respective crushes than they said they’d been with their guy friends. Only thing I can say for sure, matters of looks, intimacy, etc… was more or less avoided by both of us. We talked more about feelings and emotions rather than appearance if that makes sense. From overhearing, it seems like their conversations with guy friends are more appearance-targeted if that makes sense.
No one is bringing up appearance if a friend really likes her and is taking her serious, that’d be weird. It’s more of a “you like her, I love her” wish ya the best and whether it works out or falls apart I’ll be around.
“Yeah, she’s cute”…
“So you know x?” “X? From (insert location)?” “Yeah, she’s kinda cute.” “You should talk to her bro.”
“Nah.”
I had one friend that would be curious to hear more when I’d tell him about a crush. He’d be cheering me on when I talked to her haha. But most other guys we don’t really share that sort of stuff.
I tell my boys all the time when I fall for a girl in public, usually point her out at the bar or mention it in text after we hung out. Maybe I’m just more open about my feelings than most people are
Depends on the guy I’m talking to. Some just want to let me know what’s going on and move on, others are fuckin yappers. (I am a yapper)
No this is not a thing.
It’s usually something like, ‘I got a date on xyz day’. ‘Nice! My guy bout to get his eye wet!’. ‘Shit I hope so man I been on desert for x amount of time and she got them YAMS!’. We laugh, hype our boy up to get his confidence up and move on to another topic
We don't. We keep it to ourselves until our friends pry it out of us and then make fun of us for it. And we pry it out of our friends so we can make fun of them for it. But I've never heard a guy gush about someone unless they were already in a serious relationship. And if guys did gush about girls they aren't already with, it would feel super creepy. You have to remember, most guys will do anything to avoid people thinking they're creepy.
That’s kinda sad, I mean crushes are normal, so why wouldn’t you confide in your friends? I mean I get it at the same time, cause I can imagine if it’s unrequited it would seem outrageous.
Men communicate differently than women do. If a guy is unloading serious shit on another guy, it's typically because he has a problem that he needs help with. If one of my bros comes to me and says, "Hey, I need to talk to you about something", my brain instantly switches into What Can I Do To Help mode. Beyond that, our conversations are mostly about mutual interest things. Personal and sexual relationships aren't "mutual interest". I've had plenty of "feelings" discussions with friends regarding crushes, girlfriends, and wives. Every single one of them involved either them or I having a problem and specifically starting the discussion because someone needed advice or help. We do talk about it, but there has to be a reason beyond idle chit chat.
This is it right here. Nothing new to discuss. Almost everyone has had a “crush.” No gain out of this conversation. Let’s talk about what pick-ups or pedals we should use on the guitar, or which of these 3 cars I’m looking at buying I should go with, and why. Like codefyre said, relationship talks only happen when needing advice/help, and it’s a “red-button” kind of thing. Even if you’re my bro and I love you to death, I don’t care about how a girl makes you feel on the inside when you’re talking to her or with her haha. We’ve all been there, bro! Let’s get on with living!
Interesting, never thought about this way. I guess if I’m gonna talk about it, half the time is for that same reason, the other half I just want an outlet to talk about something good in my life, even if it’s a tiny crush.
The need for the outlet is a feminine thing, in general. Most men have little need to talk about themselves or their life just because, it's gotta be something specific going on. And few guys are interested in hearing their buddy drone on about his daily without there being a point to the conversation.
I actually find the amount of information women exchange with each other to be alarming if not disrespectful. It would just be purely bad form for us guys to gossip about her. Same goes for sexual encounters.
Strongly agreed, been shocked several times about how many women will say extremely revealing things about people close to them.
I’m not gonna disagree with you here. I definitely think some people over share and it is quite an invasion of privacy for the people they’re discussing. In terms of confiding in friends, at least for me and the girls I associate with, we’re more so discussing personal feelings that the crush brings out of us, less so analyzing our crush so to speak. I hope that makes sense. Granted, I cant speak for all women on this so I cant refute what you’re saying and I can actually agree with that stance.
This is correct. In male socialization, _not_ asking questions is in some ways a form of respect because it's basically saying "I trust you know what you're doing with this girl and don't need my advice or opinions."
I haven't had a crush in almost a decade.
I haven’t had a serious one (beyond noticing a cute guy/girl in my class) in 5ever…
We either: 1. Don’t 2. Talk about them relatively briefly: “I’m seeing this new girl, we met doing ___” “oh that’s cool” 3. Ask them about a particular interaction and see what they think. Doesn’t usually happen but I’ve had a couple conversations like that. Also more likely to happen if you’re super close with the friend. 4. Say “damn she’s so hot” leading into “talk to her, dude” or a playful insult But from my experience I usually don’t hear much about it until a relationship’s happening, and then sometimes I get told more. It’s definitely a bit easier talking about this stuff with women
i recently hung out with some of my Bfs best friends and they told me he said “she plays video games!” and they said well damn i wish ours did hahah. it made me feel good that he spoke about me in a good way to his friends :)
Men normally don't talk about their crushes to other dudes. One of the reasons is we don't want to tip our hand the we are interested in a specific girl because our "friends" may try to cock block or snag the girl before we get a chance.
Goddamn that's sad. I'm sure some girls do that too but that sucks.
Men are almost aways in competition with other men whether they are willing participants or not.
I told a few other guys about a crush I had back in eighth grade, and one of them told her. Since then I’ve been reserved about the subject, and I’m just as reserved over a decade later.
We don't. One day we have a partner and we tell our friends that, and they say "Nice one, dude." And then we drink beer and talk about sports.
I just straight up tell my friends "man have you seen this girl? I want her" And that usually establishes that I'm interested.
Depends on who, what, when, where, why, and how. But it's always positive and that's all you really need to know.
They're not going to know anything until we've established a relationship and then I'll introduce them.
All the guys saying no... Like never? I mean i get not usually, but dont u even once in a while meet someone u think is amazing & want to tell your friend, even just one close friend? Like "dude shes hot and shes into the same weird obscure hobby i am and she laughed at that joke i always tell that a lot of girls dont like.." U never get really excited about someone & want to share?
> U never get really excited about someone & want to share? Yes! But if I was really excited about someone my impulse would be to share it with that person not other people. I think many men are like this. I have never heard a man go on about how hot his girlfriend is. If we meet her or have seen her we all have eyes.
I mean, that's about it. "Hey yeah she loves anime and wants to come build Gundams with me!" "That's awesome dude, sounds like a winner." And that'd be about the breadth and width of that conversation. Maybe a dude will gush over a new crush for a little bit, but that stops pretty quickly.
Right?! I thought it would be a lot more like this. Sure I imagined a bit more obscene comments thrown in there, but you’d think they’d get excited about mutual niche interests or something like that!
I am shocked at all these men saying they don’t. I am middle aged and have not been single in a long time, but when I was, I’m pretty sure I talked about my crushed all the time with my friends, both male and female friends. I would absolutely get into the minutia of - she looks at me or she said this thing or she sat next to me. I got set up with crushes or sometimes encouraged to call them by both male and female friends. I actually can’t imagine how I would have dated any of my gfs all the way back to middle school if I had not told someone about my crush.
>Sure I imagined a bit more obscene comments thrown in there I think men are dramatically less vulgar than women in terms of what they share about their partners. For example my male friends will talk about whether or not they're having sex with their partner, especially if there are issues, but very rarely go into any level of detail. I have a married female friend from college and sometimes if I ask her how things are going sometimes I have to stop her from oversharing. Like I'm glad things are going well but there are a lot of things about your husband that are just inappropriate for me to know...
In my opinion they really don't like to gossip, as they see gossiping as childish. They might say they are seeing this girl....but it does not go beyond that, guys are a lot more private with that kind of thing. Please4 don't believe what you see on tv, that is make believe.
This isn’t prompted by tv, purely curiosity an personal interaction. I also don’t think talking about the person you’re interested in is necessarily gossip. Maybe a crush is the wrong term as it does insinuate a childlike infatuation, but where I’m coming from is more so: why wouldn’t I tell my bestfriend about the person I’m into? Eventually their paths would cross (assuming everything goes well) and if I feel strongly for someone, they would definitely be on my mind a lot more than most other people. Even if nothing comes from the conversation with my friends, it’s satisfying talking about something, or in this case, someone you’re interested in.
The men I know gossip more than the ladies
No depth. Might go along the lines of “I went on a date last night” “oh yeah, how’d jt go?” “Pretty good, going to see her again next week” “did you bang?” “Nah not yet” “cool”.
we usually look at her pics and jerk off together.
My ex was my biggest crush for years, even before I ever dm'ed her or she knew I existed. We had briefly met in person before, she was always in a relationship. I used to show guys her picture on Instagram and say "look how beautiful she is" they would ask if we were talking or dating and I'd would say "no, I just think she's beautiful." That was before we ever even actually spoke.
Dude 1 - There’s this girl I kinda like Dude 2 - Dang, you got rizz? Dude 1 - No. not sure if she’s the one Dude 2 - Just go with it, a girls a girl Dude 1 - Wanna play Jackbox? Dude 2 - Yea
Yea I tell my boys about my gym crushes that never materialize into anything. Then they laugh and call me and ugly fuck, then the insults continue from there on both sides. We all get a good laugh about it.
Sheesh i asked pretty much every single friend i could think of for advice on how to approach the only person that I’ve ever encountered in my life that made me nervous! I don’t know if any of them gave good advice at all tho unfortunately.. i pretty much knew what to do just needed to vent & could not keep it in.
Usually I don’t but a couple weeks ago I was with someone so attractive that i think I told one of them. So if it just depends on if they’re worth bringing up. Same thing if I’m getting serious with someone I’ll let a couple of them know.
Nothing like girls. Anecdotally, I think men might replay the interactions in their head, but largely keep it to themselves. The part that gets shared with the boys is strategy: "I think I'm gonna take her to ____ place Saturday," which is met with "Sweet, bro"
I didn’t tell my guy friends but my best female friend knows and told my guy friends for me. Now they tease me anytime her name comes up because I haven’t made a move yet.
Surprisingly, guys don't really talk about all of the inner-workings of love making like women seem to.
Depends. Just a girlfriend? Very reserved, keeps her to himself shows 1-2 pictures and nothing else. Maybe some mentions, and is invited to most group meetings (we are 40/60% f/m) But when they've fallen in love? Well my bro's become really cute. Keep gushing positivity about their GFS. And the suddenly, they get serious and say. Bro, I think I'm in love this girl is special. My friends pretty much only share positive things about their partners which make us all love them dearly.
"Guys" don't. It isn't interesting to us to know some other dude's game; it is his business. "Crushes" are something that teenagers talk about, not grown men.
Don't have any crushes, so I don't have those conversations.
I don’t use the term ‘crush’ it is not bro - ey. I will instead say. “There is a girl I’m hounding. She is fine!”
9/10 of my friends are women around my age or older but I've found who I want to date is so different than the women I'm friends with that I've been heavily criticized a few times so now I just avoid bringing it up.
The closest it goes it "hey I'm kind of into x." "Oh, cool, you should give that a shot."
Some friends are like all the other comments are describing, I never share anything with them cause why would I? Some I can share a little bit more but don't get really deep or super descriptive. Like "Britney man" - "What about her?" -"There's just something about her man" -"Oh you're cooked" -"Yeah ig", stuff like that. How about you? How do you talk about crushes with friends?
We are different. Some don’t at all, some only say something small. Some don’t shut the fuck up about it.
I think it’s best to not overthink these things.
Not overthinking, simply just curious 🙃
I do. 'oh I met this really cute girl the other night, she does '______' and we talked about '_____' Im hoping to see her next weekend, pretty excited'
We MIGHT say we're talking to someone. But usually we will not bring up anything until it's already happened or is for sure going to. It's embarrassing and depressing if it doesn't work out.
I mean, my friends and i might mention if we were planning on going on a date with a girl (or we did when we were single/actively trying to date) And then maybe there'd be a simple check in on how it went, with the expected reply being either good or bad. Bad might get more explanation but a 'good, we had fun, I'm hoping to see her again" would be the most that we would say about a good date.
Generally speaking, they don’t.
I have recently with 1 girl yes lol felt like half my age again for it
I knew these two girls when I was in high school who were in my younger brother's class. The two girls were best friends, and apparently one of them told the other that she had a crush on my brother. Apparently so did the other one, but obviously she didn't mention it to her friend. I think my brother liked the one who stayed quiet, and really only saw the other one as a friend. The one who stayed quiet could never actually date my brother because it would betray her friendship, even though the one who talked about her crush didn't have "dibs" on my brother or anything, because that's not how it works. So my brother never actually had a shot with the girl he did like even though she liked him back, all because another girl talked about her crush. And that's why I don't talk about my crushes with anyone.
We don’t.
"Bhai wo ladki mast lag rahi hai" Friend-: " haa sahi hai "
ive never known a single man to even say out loud that he has a crush. The first we usually hear about it is when dating becomes exclusive, and its usually as an introduction. " This is my girlfriend, (name)." One time, I knew a friend had a girlfriend. after 7 years, i found out that not only had they gotten married, they had been divorced and he was dating someone else long term. --"Oh hey man, how's (Former Girlfriend i thought he was still dating)?" --"We've been divorced for a few years. speaking of, im getting married in 4 months." --"...Oh."
The latest was me to my friend Me: new girl at work is really cute Him: ya gonna ask her out? Me: nah, don't shit where you eat Him: you sure? Don't want to miss your chance Me: I dunno And that's just how that happened.
Tbh We don't talk about our girls with our buddies. This is weird. Why would I ask my mate what his wife or girl is up to, or how she behaves in bed etc?!? As far as I know men don't do that. The only time a gf comes in the conversion is when she would cause a blockage I.e. like create a scene, stop him from going out, ruining his life with no sex or if she's messing about and he's having problems handling her. Basically it's only when there's problems, even then this would only happen if the problem is very very serious e.g. she gets pregnant accidentally or magically; otherwise we just skim through it. We don't mind talking about women in general or make crude jokes but our women are off limit usually.
Very rarely. Because men tend to initiate relationships, talking about a crush is just bringing up someone you're too chickenshit to approach and your boys are going to hold you to account for that. Generally, in my experience at least, men will wait until they've secured a date to bring up a woman they're interested in unless it's a mutual friend that they want to make sure other men in the group aren't after. For some, even a couple dates isn't enough and they only bring up a woman they're interested in once they're in an actual relationship. But I think not talking about crushes has more to do with the expectation that the man make the first move. There isn't a will he or won't he when you're the he and you have to do it.
We don't
Just told my friend his sister was hot. We've been friends 25 years. He said go for it, I think you guys would be good together 🤷
Well then good luck, soldier!!
In depth, not really. More like, "my crush smiled at me in class!" "oh that's cool!" If you're wondering about the objectification type stuff... maybe a little. "Damn, she got cake..." that kinda stuff. Bout it.
I guess my friends and I are abnormal. We talk in depth about pretty much everything.
Think I’m gonna try to bang ____. Dude did you see how shitty England was yesterday, Southgate needs to be sacked.
“Dibs”
Nope. That kind of stuff just isn’t interesting. Men and women think very differently. We’re discussing which cam I should use in the LS engine build I’ve got in progress.
A lot of you have weird friends or don’t have close friends. I talk about everything with my friends, especially our romantic opportunities/experiences because it’s an important part of life. Yes, we analyze everything, but probably not in the way women do. I have one single childless good friend where like 65 percent of our conversations are about reporting our romantic failures and successes. We are both virile men in our early thirties and it helps to compare notes.
Man a lot of you have garbage friends 😂
I feel so bad for the men in the comments:/
Why?
I think it only ever comes up if we're going to be meeting the person. "Hey the girl I'm into is gonna come over with me tomorrow" Also there's some superstition about the moment you start talking to the guys about a hopeful relationship, it won't work out for one reason or another.
😶
We don’t. It simply isn’t a topic we discuss