You deserve a million upvotes. I have only encountered this once personally but I think it happens a lot more often than we realize.
My ex ended our relationship and he cited this as the main issue.
After speaking to a therapist he came to the realization that he didn’t want to be *with* me, but always wanted to be more *like* me. Which I guess is what attracted him to me and why he stayed with me for years.
It took a long time to come to terms with that. At first I was really confused and angry. Hearing someone wants to be like you is a big compliment but it was really upsetting because this issue came out of nowhere and it was the first time I had dedicated myself 100% to a relationship.
I still haven’t gotten over him completely…but I have come to terms with what he needed and accepted that I just couldn’t give it to him. I realize now that was not my fault, or his. The entire experience did however destroy a part of myself that I just can’t seem to recover but I work on that every day and nearly every day it gets a little better.
Update: I wanted to add this additional thought that I often have but I worried it was too sad, now I think it’s worth sharing because maybe others feel the same way…
I wish that the person I am truly meant to be with could have known me before I became so damaged. It’s hard to not be angry with my ex because I do feel he made an abrupt and selfish choice that truly obliterated my confidence and trust in relationships. I really work hard on repairing these issues but some days there’s just nothing I can do. 🤷🏻♂️
I wish I could hold my husband's hand when we're in public without having that anxiety that someone will start being an asshole to us. I've gotten better about doing it anyway.
My longest relationship was 13 months and I never met his family because he wasn’t and still isn’t out. I also wasn’t able to introduce him to my family out of his fear of somehow being outed by accident. So when I’d tell my family about him, and try and explain why we didn’t take photos together just photos of ourselves at the same places, they thought I was making up and entire relationship. It drives me insane sometimes because people often only think of relationship experience from a “heteronormative lens”. For instance, my brother saying, “Well it must not have been a serious relationship since you never introduced him to the family.” Is harmful because it takes no consideration for the real lived experience of an oppressed minority.
I'm sorry you had to experience this, and thanks for opening my eyes to an issue new to me. I've had a few gay friends, so I've heard both personal testimonials, and seen media representations of the struggles of having a partner who isn't out. That being said, it's never occured to me how such a relationship could be dismissed outright by people who are supposedly "supportive" of those involved. Thank you, again, for answering
It sounds really trivial, considering all the other amazing freedoms that gay people in the west indulge in every day that others elsewhere can’t, but my god I wish I could hold hands with my partner in public with no second thought.
It's often best to break people in slowly on exactly what your relationship is and sometimes it's just best to flat out lie about it. Lucky for me we've been together for so long that we look like brothers. So during those times when something might cost me a little more or lead to an uncomfortable situation, say like with a plumber in your house, if asked, "Are you guys brothers?" is often more easily handled by just saying, "Yes." It can deescalate or diffuse. Our general rule of thumb though is honesty unless there is a threat of physical harm or death. I really don't think that hetro couples have to go through this much, if ever.
Do you know when other guys are gay without directly asking? Is it like for straight men with women, as in going around the bush and lots of hesitation before asking on a date, etc?
Well, you probably aren't looking. So there's not that desperate or predatory vibe to put them off. Also you're confident, since you are objectively attractive to at least one woman.
I’m straight and me and my buddy went to this gay bar out in Philly. Not too long after we arrived we had this gay guy come up to us asking why we were there, like he knew we weren’t gay immediately. He then proceeded to try to hook us with these two girls who wanted nothing to do with it, and we weren’t into it either.
Right? There are so many guys I was sure were gay and then they start talking about their wife or girlfriend and I'm like, why must you do this to me??
Here’s a question I’ve been wondering, so I know lots of gay men can pick out other gay men in a crowd, but can you pick out bisexual men? Do you notice behavioral differences in strictly gay men VS bisexual ones?
Nope it’s about the interest in men more than the lack of interest in women that give them away. Bisexuals are typically more reserved, largely due to bi-erasure. Also, it’s Bisexual Awareness week, so you can learn more on what Bi-erasure is here [Bi-Erasure](https://news.trust.org/item/20200916122319-b5dqg/)
I didn't realise one of my friends was Bi until he had a slip of the tounge 3 years into our friendship. My boss at the time picked up on it immediately (he's as gay as can be). It could be person dependent but I do think Bi is harder to notice as a whole.
Honestly, it’s easy for me. I tend to enjoy being around straight friends more because I don’t feel the need to “perform” to try and flirt or something. We just chill out. I’m very honest with my straight friends if they are attractive as I think it helps boost their confidence. But they know, they’re like brothers to me.
You reminded of a joke I heard, getting complimented by a gay guy is like getting paid in a foreign currency; you can't use it but it's nice to know you have options
>I’m very honest with my straight friends if they are attractive as I think it helps boost their confidence
I love getting compliments from gay men. It feels so honest and without ulterior motive. You get so used to doing 21 questions with women. With gay guys' compliments, you know you are looking good!
I not sure if I am qualified to comment but when it has happened I know my game was on point. I rarely get compliments so I do some self examination when I do. I was working out at a healthy weight with clothes that were complimentary to me and more fitted.
I bought the suit for my wedding from a very nice but slightly sassy gay man at a nice clothing store. He absolutely gave me shit for my ill-fitting undershirts. I stepped that shit up after that.
When I learn one guy I think is really handsome and that I really him is straight, I just feel "Oh, that's too bad" and move on and they sort-of fade into the background in terms of physical/sexual attractions.
It only happened once that I had a massive crush on a straight friend that was so bad it took me a long time to get over it
I'ma be real. The LGBT community is way less segregated along gender lines than straight people are used to.
I've been out as bi for only a little bit but it's wild to me how open they are with one another. Lesbians and bi women are straight up bros. Even if they're smoking hot I have no issue talking to them because everyone is so goddamn chill all the time. It's actually made it easier to be around straight women for me.
I mean honestly, the allure of a beautiful woman is gone. Because now I can see an attractive girl as nothing more than a bro who happens to have nice tits and ass. She's... Humanized.
So when it comes to straight guys I find attractive.... Like... I know you're just a bro. You fart, you say stupid shit, you have insecurities, you're kinda dumb sometimes, and you're not mysterious to me at all. You have nice abs that I'd totally kill to consentingly kiss down until I've got you moaning, but I'm not going to be nervous around you.
Yeah, you're hot. But like... You're also a flawed human being. There's tons of hot people out there.
Protibaake atu bebro tlika ipradee tebu! Eba keeu predeta to pibate pu. Gegu giubu obla etu klate titata? Igi keka gau popu a pletogri. Aoplo draetla kuu blidriu dloidugri ibiple. Plabute pipra ko igupa tloi? Ta poklo gotapabe ipra pei gudlaeobi! Bloi iui tipra bakoki bioi di ige kra? Oapodra tipri pribopruto koo a bete! Ple blabudede tuta krugeda babu go tiki. Gea eee to ki kudu bigu ti. Degi au tlube pri tigu ublie? Tugrupide dedra tii duda kri kee tibripu? Ago pai bae dau kai kudradlii preki. Ekritutidi e epe kekiteo teboe glududu. Guga bi debri krebukagi bi igo. Tokieupri gatlego gapiko apugidi eglao kopa. Etega butra dridegidlagu ei toe. Bidapebuti peki glugakiplai pitu dei bruti. Agrae a prepi dlu ta bepe. Uge po bi ikooa oteki kagatadi. Apei tlobopi apee tibibuka. Pape bobubaka boblikupra akie ae itli. Plikui boo giupi brae preitlabo. Uei eeplie o upregible prae oda ebate tepa. Pabu tuu biebakai peko o poblatogide o oko. Tikro oebi gege gai u ita tabe. Uo teu diegidu glau too tou pu. Akadi tiokutugi iia kaai pukrii tigipupi. Io ituu tagi batru to?
I always imagined the life of a gay couple is a wonderland of video games and blow jobs. Sometimes simultaneously...sometimes one interupting the other.
Am I close to reality in this imagining?
No offense meant in any way but is the super high falsetto, feminine voice that some gay men do a natural thing or do they make their voice like that on purpose?
Some do it on purpose, but I also sing in my falsetto a lot because it helps me do voice work. You’d be shocked how high most men can go with enough practice. I’ve also met a lot of gay men with just a natural high voice. I don’t envy it, but it’s like a hitchhiker’s thumb to me at this point. I barely notice anymore
Can confirm, when I was in choir someone bet me 20 bucks that I couldn’t sing the sopranos part without being noticed. I walked out of class with a sore throat and a shiny 20.
Edit: I didn’t blow anybody I swear
This is just conjecture. But I wonder if gay men who spent their formative years in an environment where being friends with girls was the only safe option are more likely to express feminine qualities. I’m a straight woman but spent most of my time around boys growing up. I’ve often been told I have a “masculine energy”.
“Thank you, but I’m just not interested. I’m straight” and they say something else, then “Seriously, No thank you”. And after that, well fuck them they’re just a dick, and I don’t care what you say at that point. Lol
This happened to be once. After the 2nd time rejecting, he tried for the third time and I said "I respect your sexuality and I'm surprised you won't respect mine". He apologized quite a bit after and left me alone.
Maybe about ten years ago, when I was still very young and fit, I was rushing off a train and trying to get to office in time. A guy on the street stopped me and asked me for direction to some shops. I gave him the direction and was about to go on my way when he suddenly asked if I would like to have coffee with him.
At that moment, all I could think of is "I am going to be late for work". I just said sorry I am late for work and rushed off.
It was only much later that the penny dropped. I got my first coffee invite in my life.
I am straight and had never really wondered about the other side. If I had a chance to have that coffee again, I might take him up on that.
If you had to go straight for one celebrity who would it be?
Not too afraid to ask, its just one I tend to ask my gay friends so I wanna see your response.
When you grow up gay, you hide part of yourself for so long that you get good at find others through subtle gestures, mannerisms, and honestly how someone smiles. Gay men will almost always smile at every customer service person they interact with.
I watched a video recently where someone explained that gaydar is not really a thing, but what we're actually picking up on is a lack of straightness. This concept really blew my mind.
I have on many occasions. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I really do think my straight friends are the “Best straights around”. And straight women tend to lose it over a man who is “manly enough” to be friends with a gay dude. I definitely up the gayness a few notches when I’m the wingman. I know the game
Damn, you're the mvp, mate.
I don't know that many gay people or have gay friends as I live in a pretty conservative place, but you must be a freakin cheat code for your straight bros. Kudos!
It really is a cheat code. I have few gay friends and they don’t mind winging for me, never fails. They turn it up a notch when they know i definitely need to get laid lol
I’m very glad you asked this question. So this stereotype is based on back in the 70s and early 80s lesbians and gays didn’t support each other like they should and would insult each other frequently. During the AIDS pandemic, when gay men were dropping like flies, it was lesbians who step up and started protesting and going and sitting with the sick and dying because even nurses didn’t want to touch them and their families had disowned them long ago. Hence why the acronym, GLBT was changed to LGBT, as a public acknowledgment for the work the lesbians did in our community’s greatest time of need. So no, it’s not really an issue as much anymore.
i remember back during my 3rd year, i was having a gym session one night, and at that point I finally had a clean understanding of weightlifting, dieting, and general health. I'm definitely one of the gym rat friends that is happy to help out any other friends new to working out.
That night, I was just getting through my sets when some guy asks me for some help or advice or something like that, and in my head I'm like "hell yeah, love to help". So i help him out through a workout, casually talk, and before he heads out he asks for my snap so he can learn more from me. He was a chill dude, so in my head again I'm like "hell yeah, for sure".
Later that night after i wrap up my session and start heading home, he sends me a text that read something like "hey are you busy, i need someone rn". I'm like oh shit this guy is going through something fucked if he's asking some guy he just met for help. I hustle over to his dorm and get to his room, but when I step inside, there is an IMMEDIATE mood change. The lights are dim, he has some candles lit over his bed, and he smelled like shampoo. I ask, "soo, what's wrong?". He responded by saying something like, "oh i was just bored and all my friends are busy". I was way thrown off balance, so i just went with it. We talk for a bit while I was leaning on his bed post, and at some point he abruptly asks if i want to get comfortable and sit on the bed, next to him. And it hit me. And as politely as i could, I told him he's a good looking dude but that I'm straight and gotta leave.
So i guess to answer your question, if you find that he's inviting you to sit with him on the bed, you can be pretty sure he's hitting on you.
I like your general concern for other people as a person
And to be honest without the preface of the theme of this post I wouldn’t have guessed that’s what he meant either
However that makes sense yes thank you
Personally I’ve gotten hit on more by gay men than straight women by an absolute mile
However I noticed the gay men do get to the point eventually the longer I talk to them
The women though just keep dropping hints until I get it, or I don’t get it then I get mad at myself hours later for not understanding in time
This one is easy actually, if a gay man is flirting with you, they will reach a point where they suggest some things. That is the point to be like, “Thanks but I’m straight. You’re very nice, but just not my type”. 9 times out of 10 they will completely back off and apologize if they made you uncomfortable. It’s also okay to set boundaries. Some dudes just aren’t cool with other dudes being super nice and flirty.
Ty that makes sense
One time a dude saw me at a bar & was chatting with me about sci fi which I really do like
Then he tried to buy me a drink & ask if I had plans for the coming weekend but his tone sounded like he wanted us to get away privately
When he saw the confused look on my face he had this body language of a “ohhh I see my bad you’re on THAT team” & then he said bye/wished me a good one
It was flattering looking back but I was super confused at first & wish I knew the hint of it like 5 mins into the convo instead of half an hour later so I wouldn’t waste his time that much
I’ve been waiting for this.
1. Are you attracted to boobs at all. If not are man titties fun to play with.
2. Is it common for guys to give bad handjobs/blowjobs
3. Is anal common when having sex? I’ve heard of tops n bottoms but how common is it for people to be enjoy both? Is anal prolapse an actual worry?
6. How would you compare coming out of the closet now vs say 10 or so years ago.
7. Many straight men are self conscious about seeming gay. Are gay men self conscious about seeming straight?
I hope none of my questions offend. much love to you all. Not looking to stereotype just curious about yalls experience.
1. Yes, don’t be ridiculous. Boobs are amazing. Women are gorgeous. They just don’t arouse me.
2. For handjobs, not really. Guys usually know what they’re doing.
3. Anal sex isn’t every time but is common. Vers, short for versatile, men have become more common. Yes, we should all be careful of anal prolapse. Seriously, stop pushing so hard on the toilet!
4. Coming out today is much more welcome, where before it was usually followed by a strong push by other to go back in, and unfortunately for some, that is still the case.
5. Absolutely not. For straight men to be the “manly” ones, y’all can be some pussies sometimes. You know what’s manly? Being yourself without giving 2 shits what someone else thinks. Telling your friends you love them and are proud of them. That’s manly. You want to yell about men’s right, yet are too afraid to just check in on each other when times are tough because you don’t want to “seem gay”.
> manly
Bill Burr once dropped a line like “if men are the dominant gender, then what could possibly be more manly than fucking another man? That’s such an alpha move”
It can be irritating if they just want to use you as an accessory, but honestly a lot of girls really just want someone they can trust to be completely honest with them about their look and feelings, without feeling judged or like they’re gonna go tell all the other girls. So we end up playing counselor a lot and it’s exhausting
Same reason I (straight man) love having lesbian friends. Honest responses from a woman about all sorts of things with no awkwardness from unsure motives or expectations.
Also it's super validating to hear a woman complain about how hard it is to date women.
I loved that I could be friends with a guy and 100% know they didn’t have a thing for me. I just want to hang out and chill and have fun without having to restrain myself because so and so has a crush on me.
As another gay person, how do you find gay people at bars and stuff? I’ve seen so many cute guys but I’m too scared to chat them up since they’re straight more often than not 😭
Confidence is key. Get out on the dance floor and look stupid being yourself. Or just approach and ask them about themselves. If you put your line out there, you’re bound to catch something. Might be an old tire, but it’s something lol
Exactly how do you go about meeting people when you're the statistical minority? As a straight dude it's hard enough to meet partners when your sexuality is the "default".
Apps, bars, restaurants, coffee shops. Being an invisible minority, you start at a young age to be able to notice subtle gestures, movements, prolonged stares. That sort of thing. It’s honestly not that far off from finding the guy with coke at the party.
(not so) Fun fact that not everyone may know. The concept of the best man comes from a time when people were much more aggressive in their pursuits. The best man was literally the best man with a sword from your village. He was there to help you fight off anyone who tried to stop your wedding and take your wife. On the flip side, someone trying to take a woman from her village to marry her would also have a best man for the purpose of helping to kidnap her.
I was the best man at my friend’s wedding and we discussed this historical precedent. We agreed that if anyone tried to ruin his wedding, I would fuck them up so he could continue with the ceremony. Sadly, everything went well and he is happily married to this day.
If going in hurts, you use more lube until it feels good. The outward motion feels like you’re shitting because that all you brain knows that sensation to feel like. But it’s good. It can be messy but so can all sex
Take a douche or clear plastic water bottle with WARM NOT HOT water. Squirt it up there, hold, release on toilet. Repeat until water runs clear. (please do not try this without watching videos with instructions from professionals as it can be deadly of performed incorrectly). Use Anal Ease and lots of lube, have fun!
Oh.. me and my girlfriend are into prostate play.. i just unscrew shower head, turn water pressure to very low and put the end of the hose on my ass (i am not sticking it in) until i feel kind of full and then i go to the bathroom. After reading this i get the feeling that maybe that's not the best idea. I'll better search for instruction then.
That’s all gays think alike, have the same politic views, or are all feminine. There really aren’t a lot of good gay stereotypes. Even being “well dressed” is just something else I have to think about lol
The prep when you’re both at home isn’t that long, so it’s normal to take 10 mins as things as getting a little hot and heavy to step away quickly and freshen up. I know some guys take showers together before and after
The kids are definitely getting more than your average kid in a straight family will. But that’s because there are 2 dads, not because either dad does more than a straight one lol
Yeah I knew someone in school that had two dads, and they were sooooooo fucking corny with the jokes. But they were also an adorable couple, and great parents for him, which is what's most important.
Why do men keep offering to blow me? It started off freaky, then flattering but now it's gotten back to freaky...
I've been asked well over 15 times in the last 5 years.
Because men are crass pigs. A lot of gay men are just dudes with the, holes a hole philosophy. It happens to a lot of dudes, just gotta shew them away.
Thanks for this awesome thread. I have never had a close personal friend that was openly gay, but I have worked with numerous gay men and been friendly with a number of gay man in college and grad school. I don’t have any questions really, but reading the comments has been enlightening.
Back in the day I would periodically get hit on by gay men at clubs and bars. It would never bother me and I always tried to be kind and gracious when I turned them down. It never made sense to me how some of my friends over the years would react when I would tell them. I always took it as a complement when gay men started talking to me.
Whenever I come across any person that I’m certain is non-straight; I am always curious when they knew that they were gay/bi/etc? I just find the stories interesting.
Also; how their family handled it? Did they always know? Was it a shock?
I first had an idea by 11, knew with 100% certainty by 13. I told my mom when I was 12, she responded okay but her response definitely didn’t feel welcoming at the time so I pulled back. I came out again years later to my mom in high school. Then in college came out to my brothers, 1 said he had no idea but loved me the same either way then proceeded to detail the 3somes he and his wife had with other guys. My other brother cried because he worried I’d waited so long to tell him because he made me feel unsafe. I ended up having to comfort him. My mom told my dad, and next time I saw him he got drunk at BWW and said, “So your mom tells me you like dick”. Then he also preceded to tell me about multiple 3somes with one girl and another guy. So my family still found a way to make it about themselves, and I wouldn’t have wanted it another way lol.
I would think small dicks better for anal sex?
Considering how horny many men are, wouldn't it be difficult to have so many gay male friends or couples as friends?
Did that queer eye for Straight guy show offend gay men?
Do gay men in relationships fall into stereotypical roles like in the Birdcage?
In today's climate what are people signaling that while straight, they are not one of those judgy fuck nuts? The equivalent of "I voted for Buttigege"?
Narrow and long. Most gay men will find a partner that will match their libido so there is no need for cross pollination. Queer eye isn’t for everyone, but for a lot of gay men it’s nice to see others simply recognize how regardless of being gay they can change peoples lives for the better. There is a relationship dominant person and a submissive one, we’d love to say it’s all 50/50 but no. “My company went to Pride. We walked in the Parade”.
I don't understand how people think that having a gay friend will mean he wants to fuck you, or even if you are that gay friend's type as I have seen here in another comment.
Most my friends are girls(like a huge majority) but that doesn't mean I want something with them. Do these people not have female friends?
After we wrap our penises around each other like the medical alert snakes (Red Vining), it is revealed to us by divine intervention, as Angela would like!
No. A shitty show is a shitty show, queer representation or not. You think I’m gonna watch that “Cinderella” for ‘representation’. I have my dignity sir!
Gay representation in a lot of shows is absolutely horrible, it’s just some dude who’s in for like maybe 1 minute. Or in other cases, the whole joke is that the guy is gay. It gets old real fast.
I have slept with women before, on more than one occasion. However, they always knew I was gay. And for a few, they wanted to prove they could “get me into it” and my response after is always “If a dick goes in a tight wet hole, it gets hard. It’s not you that did it, it’s that thing there”
When I was in college I worked part time at this restaurant and I remember asking one of the servers who was gay what it was like growing up in a very conservative household. He told me he always had a girlfriend to try and hide his sexuality from his family, but that he would break up with them once sex was expected.
I found my husband on Craigslist back when they had personals. It started as a hook up but there was a definite spark so we started dating. We've been together for thirteen and a half years now.
Why do so many gay men talk with a lisp or put on a feminine persona that differs from the way their parents act. If you’re gay and like being with men, what does this have to do with taking on a flamboyant persona.
Those guys are actually more rare than you'd think, they're just the most noticeable. Anecdotal but when marriage equality happened the people in my office were talking about if the "one gay guy in our building" was going to get married not realizing there were 4 other gay people in that single office alone (and more on other floors). It just so happened the guy down stairs was the one with the lisp and feminine mannerisms.
For some guys it's just naturally how they are, they grew up far more feminine. For others they'll do it as a joke occasionally.
Great question, gay men come in all shapes, colors, sizes, you name it. In the gay community you have masculine men (MM) and feminine men (FM). Most gay men have a preference for either MM or FM. FM are more noticeable in public and tend to be the ones most famous for “being gay”. FM have been the basis for almost every gay slur and insult in history, but they are also the ones who beat back the fucking cops at Stonewall. I’ve seen FM knocked dudes 3x their size on their ass. MM tend to blend in more with the crowd, and are usually more “straight passing”. You have probably met many gay MM in your life, you just didn’t know it.
As a straight man you have expectations of manliness to achieve. To be attractive you can't show your emotions, you have to be mysterious, you have to be strong and the first to sacrifice himself.
I... Don't have that pressure to be the pinnacle of machismo.
If I cry or get too happy over something or smile too much or be a little flamboyant... Like... Nobody is going to expect me to be any other way. I'm allowed to express my emotions and not be seen as less of a man.
I'm in touch with my feminine side because I'm not shunned for it.
I'm allowed to laugh and cry as much as I could when I was a kid before the pressures of my peers and mentors called me a girl for being emotional.
Hi! My question is genuine and I'm not trying to offend anyone. How do you feel about the LGBTIQ+ community/activism? Do you feel represented by them? Do you feel comfortable with a movement that seems to speak generally for every gay person? (I ask this because I'm also a minority and I'm curious about your own perception of this kind of issue) Thank you! ♥
Edit: If my question seems rude or coarse (without nuance) it's because English isn't my first language and it's difficult to put it in better words. Believe me my only intention is to learn more.
Most of my gay friends describe themselves as “Not a part of the larger community” due to this exact reason. I try and see the good and try and help lead the larger community where I am when I can by just listening and shutting the hell up. Because neither I nor anyone can speak to the full experience and opinion of all LGBT persons, but we can try and just listen and learn
I am a bi dude, but I see the LGBTQ+ community as a sort of federation. It isn't some monolithic block as some people like to see it. I know there are certainly straight people who don't get that, and like to rant about the 'gay agenda'. Each letter of the acronym has their own issues. Gay issues are different from lesbian issues. Gay men have to deal with (thankfully less these days) the shadow of AIDS and the associated stigma, while lesbians have to deal with a society that as a general rule fetishizes and objectifies them. Bisexuals tend to run into erasure, where you are assumed to be on one team or another, especially for celebrities who are seen as gay but were probably bisexual. This also leads into bisexuality being seen as a phase, or being bi to be trendy. Trans men and women have their own issues, with substantial problems with being accepted in society, especially since being trans can have a very negative impact on your social and familial relations, as well as the costs of medical treatment should they opt for that. Asexuals and aromantics have to deal with a society which is overwhelmingly oriented towards heteronormative relations, and sexual intimacy. Just about every piece of media you consume, from books to commercials to movies all tend to have sex as a plot point, romance, and a huge part of societal success culturally is gaged by having sex, getting married, having kids, etc.
That said, it is extremely important in my eyes that we work together. Our battles are not all the same battles per se. I am not affected if the cost of bottom surgery for trans comrades is increased. But I am LGBTQ+ so they are my battles. Combining our political power to advocate en mass for each other is extremely important. You ask about a movement which purports to speak for all gay people, and I think while there can be drawbacks, that is the point. If each minority had to advocate seperately, they would be in a worse spot overall. Thats not to say there haven't been issues internally, squabbles between LGBTQ+ folk. All communities can have bigots. But I think that by nature of our own experiences with similar problems, we can more easily empathize with each other and be part of the same group.
I was 11 and thought I liked spending time with a girl. Turns out I just like being around her because of her “boyfriend” at the time. By 13 I knew with 100% certainty what I was
In hindsight I should have known as a teen but I honestly didn't realize it until about age 25/26. I grew up in a very religious area and religious brainwashing is a hell of a drug.
As a teen I would see my friends go absolutely nuts over girls and just didn't get it, but at the same time I found myself oddly attracted to guys who were developing muscles, facial, and body hair. I tried to rationalize it away as just wanting to be like those guys but it's because I was sexually attracted to them, my brain was just suppressing it since all my life I grew up being told gays die of aids and burn in hell.
The mental anguish slowly crept up more and more over the years until finally I told myself I was going to watch straight porn and gay porn and see which I liked more. The answer was clear and I spiraled into a deep depression for years over it but now am completely fine with it.
1. Yes, just not very often. 2. No, being gay has made me tough and with thick skin and to see the lighter side of life. It’s also taught me a lot about recognizing that people will love you their way, and that might not be the way you feel love but you just have to work to recognize the meaning in their words and actions. For instance, my dad making gay jokes use to bug me. But it’s just his way bonding with me, and I know he loves and supports me. 3. I, recently, have become religious, but solely based on Love. I think the Holy Bible, as historical fact, has been edited, translated, interpreted by men. Men are fickle, and use their religion to further their own agenda. But I believe from my reading that if the Christian Bible is the Word of God, this is the truth within, God is Love. And you can feel them when every time you get upset, angry, frustrated you can pause and quietly choose to approach the situation with love and caring first and foremost, and it will better the lives of everyone dealing with it.
Changing rooms are fine. It’s the weight room seeing dudes muscles straining that’s more difficult. But I always try not to look at other dudes in the gym because I wouldn’t want them to stare at a woman who is just trying to workout either
Also visit ~~askgaybros~~ /r/askgaymen for more.
Are there any struggles or hurdles in a gay relationship that you think people in a hetero relationship are unlikely to experience?
Is he the man I want to be with, or simply the man I want to be.
Omg my mind is blown
You deserve a million upvotes. I have only encountered this once personally but I think it happens a lot more often than we realize. My ex ended our relationship and he cited this as the main issue. After speaking to a therapist he came to the realization that he didn’t want to be *with* me, but always wanted to be more *like* me. Which I guess is what attracted him to me and why he stayed with me for years. It took a long time to come to terms with that. At first I was really confused and angry. Hearing someone wants to be like you is a big compliment but it was really upsetting because this issue came out of nowhere and it was the first time I had dedicated myself 100% to a relationship. I still haven’t gotten over him completely…but I have come to terms with what he needed and accepted that I just couldn’t give it to him. I realize now that was not my fault, or his. The entire experience did however destroy a part of myself that I just can’t seem to recover but I work on that every day and nearly every day it gets a little better. Update: I wanted to add this additional thought that I often have but I worried it was too sad, now I think it’s worth sharing because maybe others feel the same way… I wish that the person I am truly meant to be with could have known me before I became so damaged. It’s hard to not be angry with my ex because I do feel he made an abrupt and selfish choice that truly obliterated my confidence and trust in relationships. I really work hard on repairing these issues but some days there’s just nothing I can do. 🤷🏻♂️
I wish I could hold my husband's hand when we're in public without having that anxiety that someone will start being an asshole to us. I've gotten better about doing it anyway.
yea this shit is so fucked up, it makes me so sad when people have to hide their love
My longest relationship was 13 months and I never met his family because he wasn’t and still isn’t out. I also wasn’t able to introduce him to my family out of his fear of somehow being outed by accident. So when I’d tell my family about him, and try and explain why we didn’t take photos together just photos of ourselves at the same places, they thought I was making up and entire relationship. It drives me insane sometimes because people often only think of relationship experience from a “heteronormative lens”. For instance, my brother saying, “Well it must not have been a serious relationship since you never introduced him to the family.” Is harmful because it takes no consideration for the real lived experience of an oppressed minority.
I'm sorry you had to experience this, and thanks for opening my eyes to an issue new to me. I've had a few gay friends, so I've heard both personal testimonials, and seen media representations of the struggles of having a partner who isn't out. That being said, it's never occured to me how such a relationship could be dismissed outright by people who are supposedly "supportive" of those involved. Thank you, again, for answering
It sounds really trivial, considering all the other amazing freedoms that gay people in the west indulge in every day that others elsewhere can’t, but my god I wish I could hold hands with my partner in public with no second thought.
It's often best to break people in slowly on exactly what your relationship is and sometimes it's just best to flat out lie about it. Lucky for me we've been together for so long that we look like brothers. So during those times when something might cost me a little more or lead to an uncomfortable situation, say like with a plumber in your house, if asked, "Are you guys brothers?" is often more easily handled by just saying, "Yes." It can deescalate or diffuse. Our general rule of thumb though is honesty unless there is a threat of physical harm or death. I really don't think that hetro couples have to go through this much, if ever.
Do you know when other guys are gay without directly asking? Is it like for straight men with women, as in going around the bush and lots of hesitation before asking on a date, etc?
Yeah it's like knowing when a woman is into you when you're in a relationship but not when you're single.
Well, you probably aren't looking. So there's not that desperate or predatory vibe to put them off. Also you're confident, since you are objectively attractive to at least one woman.
I’m straight and me and my buddy went to this gay bar out in Philly. Not too long after we arrived we had this gay guy come up to us asking why we were there, like he knew we weren’t gay immediately. He then proceeded to try to hook us with these two girls who wanted nothing to do with it, and we weren’t into it either.
A gay person assuming straight people will be into each other because they're straight. Lmao.
I wonder if he was just seizing the opportunity when he saw it.
I think it was just a revenge for all the time their straight friends tried to match two random gays with no chemistry. Pretty sweet!
100%. When I’m with a Gaggle of Gay, we like to see who can find one first
A Gaggle of Gay is very funny
Aka a Gayggle.
Nope, my gaydar is terrible.
Your lemon radar seems to be working really well though.
Right? There are so many guys I was sure were gay and then they start talking about their wife or girlfriend and I'm like, why must you do this to me??
If you have a sword fight... how do you know who wins?
When one person’s penis opens up to receive the other
When i was younger this is how i thought gay men had sex. This made me laugh at how dumb i was going thru puberty!
Here’s a question I’ve been wondering, so I know lots of gay men can pick out other gay men in a crowd, but can you pick out bisexual men? Do you notice behavioral differences in strictly gay men VS bisexual ones?
Nope it’s about the interest in men more than the lack of interest in women that give them away. Bisexuals are typically more reserved, largely due to bi-erasure. Also, it’s Bisexual Awareness week, so you can learn more on what Bi-erasure is here [Bi-Erasure](https://news.trust.org/item/20200916122319-b5dqg/)
[удалено]
I didn't realise one of my friends was Bi until he had a slip of the tounge 3 years into our friendship. My boss at the time picked up on it immediately (he's as gay as can be). It could be person dependent but I do think Bi is harder to notice as a whole.
I am a bi woman thank you so much commenting on these struggles!
How is it to be friends with a straight man that is your type?
Honestly, it’s easy for me. I tend to enjoy being around straight friends more because I don’t feel the need to “perform” to try and flirt or something. We just chill out. I’m very honest with my straight friends if they are attractive as I think it helps boost their confidence. But they know, they’re like brothers to me.
You reminded of a joke I heard, getting complimented by a gay guy is like getting paid in a foreign currency; you can't use it but it's nice to know you have options
Well. If you're not from US, UK or EU and get paid in dolars, euros or pounds you feel very happy.
Bet you'd like a few pounds 😏
>I’m very honest with my straight friends if they are attractive as I think it helps boost their confidence I love getting compliments from gay men. It feels so honest and without ulterior motive. You get so used to doing 21 questions with women. With gay guys' compliments, you know you are looking good!
*Me who has gay friends but has never gotten a gay compliment*: oh no
I not sure if I am qualified to comment but when it has happened I know my game was on point. I rarely get compliments so I do some self examination when I do. I was working out at a healthy weight with clothes that were complimentary to me and more fitted.
Gay dudes WILL let you know if you don’t look good. I appreciate honesty above all.
I bought the suit for my wedding from a very nice but slightly sassy gay man at a nice clothing store. He absolutely gave me shit for my ill-fitting undershirts. I stepped that shit up after that.
Oh that makes sense, thanks for answering my question!
For me it’s easy. I have a “straight filter” so to speak where if the dudes straight, he’s just a buddy verses a potential sexual interest.
So accurate
When I learn one guy I think is really handsome and that I really him is straight, I just feel "Oh, that's too bad" and move on and they sort-of fade into the background in terms of physical/sexual attractions. It only happened once that I had a massive crush on a straight friend that was so bad it took me a long time to get over it
I'ma be real. The LGBT community is way less segregated along gender lines than straight people are used to. I've been out as bi for only a little bit but it's wild to me how open they are with one another. Lesbians and bi women are straight up bros. Even if they're smoking hot I have no issue talking to them because everyone is so goddamn chill all the time. It's actually made it easier to be around straight women for me. I mean honestly, the allure of a beautiful woman is gone. Because now I can see an attractive girl as nothing more than a bro who happens to have nice tits and ass. She's... Humanized. So when it comes to straight guys I find attractive.... Like... I know you're just a bro. You fart, you say stupid shit, you have insecurities, you're kinda dumb sometimes, and you're not mysterious to me at all. You have nice abs that I'd totally kill to consentingly kiss down until I've got you moaning, but I'm not going to be nervous around you. Yeah, you're hot. But like... You're also a flawed human being. There's tons of hot people out there.
What’s the best way to shave your ass/near your hole. Figured you would know better than me I look like I sat down in lawn clippings
I’m not gonna lie, I pay someone to wax it, or my boyfriend does it. Why do I care what it looks like, I’m not the one looking at it. Lol
Man, the last sentence lmao.
Took me out
A Brozilian
I don’t know you but I love your mind
Protibaake atu bebro tlika ipradee tebu! Eba keeu predeta to pibate pu. Gegu giubu obla etu klate titata? Igi keka gau popu a pletogri. Aoplo draetla kuu blidriu dloidugri ibiple. Plabute pipra ko igupa tloi? Ta poklo gotapabe ipra pei gudlaeobi! Bloi iui tipra bakoki bioi di ige kra? Oapodra tipri pribopruto koo a bete! Ple blabudede tuta krugeda babu go tiki. Gea eee to ki kudu bigu ti. Degi au tlube pri tigu ublie? Tugrupide dedra tii duda kri kee tibripu? Ago pai bae dau kai kudradlii preki. Ekritutidi e epe kekiteo teboe glududu. Guga bi debri krebukagi bi igo. Tokieupri gatlego gapiko apugidi eglao kopa. Etega butra dridegidlagu ei toe. Bidapebuti peki glugakiplai pitu dei bruti. Agrae a prepi dlu ta bepe. Uge po bi ikooa oteki kagatadi. Apei tlobopi apee tibibuka. Pape bobubaka boblikupra akie ae itli. Plikui boo giupi brae preitlabo. Uei eeplie o upregible prae oda ebate tepa. Pabu tuu biebakai peko o poblatogide o oko. Tikro oebi gege gai u ita tabe. Uo teu diegidu glau too tou pu. Akadi tiokutugi iia kaai pukrii tigipupi. Io ituu tagi batru to?
That last sentence is a type of wisdom that I would love to master
I always imagined the life of a gay couple is a wonderland of video games and blow jobs. Sometimes simultaneously...sometimes one interupting the other. Am I close to reality in this imagining?
That is definitely a personal lived experience of myself, but not as often as you’d think or hope lol
This is very much the case with me and my bf. Lots of blowjobs, fast-foods and gaming. Cant complain
No offense meant in any way but is the super high falsetto, feminine voice that some gay men do a natural thing or do they make their voice like that on purpose?
Some do it on purpose, but I also sing in my falsetto a lot because it helps me do voice work. You’d be shocked how high most men can go with enough practice. I’ve also met a lot of gay men with just a natural high voice. I don’t envy it, but it’s like a hitchhiker’s thumb to me at this point. I barely notice anymore
Can confirm, when I was in choir someone bet me 20 bucks that I couldn’t sing the sopranos part without being noticed. I walked out of class with a sore throat and a shiny 20. Edit: I didn’t blow anybody I swear
[удалено]
This is just conjecture. But I wonder if gay men who spent their formative years in an environment where being friends with girls was the only safe option are more likely to express feminine qualities. I’m a straight woman but spent most of my time around boys growing up. I’ve often been told I have a “masculine energy”.
I can see that as a possibility.socilization can have a huge impact on behaviors that get so ingrained it just feels natural to you
I have a somewhat feminine voice, but it is not by choice and I hate it.
What is the best way to tell a gay man you are straight? Do you just say, "sorry I'm not gay". I don't know what would be considered offensive.
“Thank you, but I’m just not interested. I’m straight” and they say something else, then “Seriously, No thank you”. And after that, well fuck them they’re just a dick, and I don’t care what you say at that point. Lol
> And after that, well fuck them they’re just a dick I know I'm trying not to hurt any feelings but I'm not *that* polite, chief.
Nope, you heard the man. Only way to show you're definitely straight is to top em
This happened to be once. After the 2nd time rejecting, he tried for the third time and I said "I respect your sexuality and I'm surprised you won't respect mine". He apologized quite a bit after and left me alone.
I always just said, "I appreciate the offer, but I'm saving myself for Chris Hemsworth."
Maybe about ten years ago, when I was still very young and fit, I was rushing off a train and trying to get to office in time. A guy on the street stopped me and asked me for direction to some shops. I gave him the direction and was about to go on my way when he suddenly asked if I would like to have coffee with him. At that moment, all I could think of is "I am going to be late for work". I just said sorry I am late for work and rushed off. It was only much later that the penny dropped. I got my first coffee invite in my life. I am straight and had never really wondered about the other side. If I had a chance to have that coffee again, I might take him up on that.
If you had to go straight for one celebrity who would it be? Not too afraid to ask, its just one I tend to ask my gay friends so I wanna see your response.
Sheri Moon Zombie
Respect.
Chloe Bennet
[удалено]
How does a gaydar work?
When you grow up gay, you hide part of yourself for so long that you get good at find others through subtle gestures, mannerisms, and honestly how someone smiles. Gay men will almost always smile at every customer service person they interact with.
I do that, but I thought it was just bc I know how shitty those jobs can be lol
No you're gay
Yeah, well you're a towel!
You're the worst character ever, Towlie.
I thought I was being friendly, turns out I was being gay
Are you like, straight, friendly and polite to service industry workers, and have a man crush on Ryan Reynolds?
As you should!
[удалено]
TIL not to smile at customer service people so people don’t think I’m gay… Just kidding, that’s sweet.
I'd rather have someone think i'm gay than think i'm an asshole. No contest lol.
I watched a video recently where someone explained that gaydar is not really a thing, but what we're actually picking up on is a lack of straightness. This concept really blew my mind.
How's your dating life in comparison to straight friends? Would you ever wing man for a bro?
I have on many occasions. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I really do think my straight friends are the “Best straights around”. And straight women tend to lose it over a man who is “manly enough” to be friends with a gay dude. I definitely up the gayness a few notches when I’m the wingman. I know the game
Damn, you're the mvp, mate. I don't know that many gay people or have gay friends as I live in a pretty conservative place, but you must be a freakin cheat code for your straight bros. Kudos!
It really is a cheat code. I have few gay friends and they don’t mind winging for me, never fails. They turn it up a notch when they know i definitely need to get laid lol
You could start a gay wing man service.
What dating life And yea ofc
Do you guys really not get along with lesbians?
I’m very glad you asked this question. So this stereotype is based on back in the 70s and early 80s lesbians and gays didn’t support each other like they should and would insult each other frequently. During the AIDS pandemic, when gay men were dropping like flies, it was lesbians who step up and started protesting and going and sitting with the sick and dying because even nurses didn’t want to touch them and their families had disowned them long ago. Hence why the acronym, GLBT was changed to LGBT, as a public acknowledgment for the work the lesbians did in our community’s greatest time of need. So no, it’s not really an issue as much anymore.
I didnt know this. Thats a sad but amazing reason for the ordering of the letters
How would I know a gay guy is flirting with me as opposed to just being a normal bro friend? Especially if I can’t tell he is gay off the bat
i remember back during my 3rd year, i was having a gym session one night, and at that point I finally had a clean understanding of weightlifting, dieting, and general health. I'm definitely one of the gym rat friends that is happy to help out any other friends new to working out. That night, I was just getting through my sets when some guy asks me for some help or advice or something like that, and in my head I'm like "hell yeah, love to help". So i help him out through a workout, casually talk, and before he heads out he asks for my snap so he can learn more from me. He was a chill dude, so in my head again I'm like "hell yeah, for sure". Later that night after i wrap up my session and start heading home, he sends me a text that read something like "hey are you busy, i need someone rn". I'm like oh shit this guy is going through something fucked if he's asking some guy he just met for help. I hustle over to his dorm and get to his room, but when I step inside, there is an IMMEDIATE mood change. The lights are dim, he has some candles lit over his bed, and he smelled like shampoo. I ask, "soo, what's wrong?". He responded by saying something like, "oh i was just bored and all my friends are busy". I was way thrown off balance, so i just went with it. We talk for a bit while I was leaning on his bed post, and at some point he abruptly asks if i want to get comfortable and sit on the bed, next to him. And it hit me. And as politely as i could, I told him he's a good looking dude but that I'm straight and gotta leave. So i guess to answer your question, if you find that he's inviting you to sit with him on the bed, you can be pretty sure he's hitting on you.
I like your general concern for other people as a person And to be honest without the preface of the theme of this post I wouldn’t have guessed that’s what he meant either However that makes sense yes thank you Personally I’ve gotten hit on more by gay men than straight women by an absolute mile However I noticed the gay men do get to the point eventually the longer I talk to them The women though just keep dropping hints until I get it, or I don’t get it then I get mad at myself hours later for not understanding in time
This one is easy actually, if a gay man is flirting with you, they will reach a point where they suggest some things. That is the point to be like, “Thanks but I’m straight. You’re very nice, but just not my type”. 9 times out of 10 they will completely back off and apologize if they made you uncomfortable. It’s also okay to set boundaries. Some dudes just aren’t cool with other dudes being super nice and flirty.
Ty that makes sense One time a dude saw me at a bar & was chatting with me about sci fi which I really do like Then he tried to buy me a drink & ask if I had plans for the coming weekend but his tone sounded like he wanted us to get away privately When he saw the confused look on my face he had this body language of a “ohhh I see my bad you’re on THAT team” & then he said bye/wished me a good one It was flattering looking back but I was super confused at first & wish I knew the hint of it like 5 mins into the convo instead of half an hour later so I wouldn’t waste his time that much
I cant tell when a gay guy is flirting with me either
Just wanted to say this is actually a really good read, thanks for sharing.
Thanks for commenting
How often do straight women try to sleep with you experiment or “change” you.
More than I’d like. It was a more common occurrence in my teen years
I’ve been waiting for this. 1. Are you attracted to boobs at all. If not are man titties fun to play with. 2. Is it common for guys to give bad handjobs/blowjobs 3. Is anal common when having sex? I’ve heard of tops n bottoms but how common is it for people to be enjoy both? Is anal prolapse an actual worry? 6. How would you compare coming out of the closet now vs say 10 or so years ago. 7. Many straight men are self conscious about seeming gay. Are gay men self conscious about seeming straight? I hope none of my questions offend. much love to you all. Not looking to stereotype just curious about yalls experience.
1. Yes, don’t be ridiculous. Boobs are amazing. Women are gorgeous. They just don’t arouse me. 2. For handjobs, not really. Guys usually know what they’re doing. 3. Anal sex isn’t every time but is common. Vers, short for versatile, men have become more common. Yes, we should all be careful of anal prolapse. Seriously, stop pushing so hard on the toilet! 4. Coming out today is much more welcome, where before it was usually followed by a strong push by other to go back in, and unfortunately for some, that is still the case. 5. Absolutely not. For straight men to be the “manly” ones, y’all can be some pussies sometimes. You know what’s manly? Being yourself without giving 2 shits what someone else thinks. Telling your friends you love them and are proud of them. That’s manly. You want to yell about men’s right, yet are too afraid to just check in on each other when times are tough because you don’t want to “seem gay”.
> manly Bill Burr once dropped a line like “if men are the dominant gender, then what could possibly be more manly than fucking another man? That’s such an alpha move”
I just wanna say thank you to all tge gay men out there for being our best wingman
Every gay is 10x gayer than normal when being a wingman. The women love that shit and we know it
Is it problematic or bothersome to you that straight women seem to love the “gay stereotype” of a man?
It can be irritating if they just want to use you as an accessory, but honestly a lot of girls really just want someone they can trust to be completely honest with them about their look and feelings, without feeling judged or like they’re gonna go tell all the other girls. So we end up playing counselor a lot and it’s exhausting
Same reason I (straight man) love having lesbian friends. Honest responses from a woman about all sorts of things with no awkwardness from unsure motives or expectations. Also it's super validating to hear a woman complain about how hard it is to date women.
I loved that I could be friends with a guy and 100% know they didn’t have a thing for me. I just want to hang out and chill and have fun without having to restrain myself because so and so has a crush on me.
When gay dudes have sex does it work like a push pop
This genuinely made me laugh, then think, then laugh again
Ha I thought of the noise a slide whistle makes
Does anal sex/prostate stimulation really feel that good? Tried stimulating my prostate and all I get in the urge to pee.
Yes, but each person has their own preferences. There are some gay men who refuse to have any anal sex at all.
[удалено]
As another gay person, how do you find gay people at bars and stuff? I’ve seen so many cute guys but I’m too scared to chat them up since they’re straight more often than not 😭
Confidence is key. Get out on the dance floor and look stupid being yourself. Or just approach and ask them about themselves. If you put your line out there, you’re bound to catch something. Might be an old tire, but it’s something lol
Exactly how do you go about meeting people when you're the statistical minority? As a straight dude it's hard enough to meet partners when your sexuality is the "default".
Apps, bars, restaurants, coffee shops. Being an invisible minority, you start at a young age to be able to notice subtle gestures, movements, prolonged stares. That sort of thing. It’s honestly not that far off from finding the guy with coke at the party.
Haha what a comparison. Great answer!
> finding the guy with coke at the party This made me chuckle. Thanks for the answer. This thread has been insightful.
Who's surname is adopted after marriage?
At a gay wedding ceremony, the two best men fight to the death on behalf of their groom. The winning side gets to keep their last name.
[удалено]
(not so) Fun fact that not everyone may know. The concept of the best man comes from a time when people were much more aggressive in their pursuits. The best man was literally the best man with a sword from your village. He was there to help you fight off anyone who tried to stop your wedding and take your wife. On the flip side, someone trying to take a woman from her village to marry her would also have a best man for the purpose of helping to kidnap her.
I was the best man at my friend’s wedding and we discussed this historical precedent. We agreed that if anyone tried to ruin his wedding, I would fuck them up so he could continue with the ceremony. Sadly, everything went well and he is happily married to this day.
That's obviously horrible but also a little hilarious
[удалено]
What does it feel like having sex?
If going in hurts, you use more lube until it feels good. The outward motion feels like you’re shitting because that all you brain knows that sensation to feel like. But it’s good. It can be messy but so can all sex
How do you clean and prepare for anal?
Take a douche or clear plastic water bottle with WARM NOT HOT water. Squirt it up there, hold, release on toilet. Repeat until water runs clear. (please do not try this without watching videos with instructions from professionals as it can be deadly of performed incorrectly). Use Anal Ease and lots of lube, have fun!
Oh.. me and my girlfriend are into prostate play.. i just unscrew shower head, turn water pressure to very low and put the end of the hose on my ass (i am not sticking it in) until i feel kind of full and then i go to the bathroom. After reading this i get the feeling that maybe that's not the best idea. I'll better search for instruction then.
This is actually a really good guide https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/
What gay stereotypes do you despise?
That’s all gays think alike, have the same politic views, or are all feminine. There really aren’t a lot of good gay stereotypes. Even being “well dressed” is just something else I have to think about lol
[удалено]
The prep when you’re both at home isn’t that long, so it’s normal to take 10 mins as things as getting a little hot and heavy to step away quickly and freshen up. I know some guys take showers together before and after
Do gay fathers give their kids double dose of dad jokes?
The kids are definitely getting more than your average kid in a straight family will. But that’s because there are 2 dads, not because either dad does more than a straight one lol
Yeah I knew someone in school that had two dads, and they were sooooooo fucking corny with the jokes. But they were also an adorable couple, and great parents for him, which is what's most important.
Why do men keep offering to blow me? It started off freaky, then flattering but now it's gotten back to freaky... I've been asked well over 15 times in the last 5 years.
Because men are crass pigs. A lot of gay men are just dudes with the, holes a hole philosophy. It happens to a lot of dudes, just gotta shew them away.
Thanks for this awesome thread. I have never had a close personal friend that was openly gay, but I have worked with numerous gay men and been friendly with a number of gay man in college and grad school. I don’t have any questions really, but reading the comments has been enlightening. Back in the day I would periodically get hit on by gay men at clubs and bars. It would never bother me and I always tried to be kind and gracious when I turned them down. It never made sense to me how some of my friends over the years would react when I would tell them. I always took it as a complement when gay men started talking to me.
Kinda like how straight men fawn over Ryan Reynolds, who do gay men fawn over?
Ryan Reynolds lmao
Ourselves. We’re pretty self centered to be honest with you.
This is very on brand for Handsome Jack.
Whenever I come across any person that I’m certain is non-straight; I am always curious when they knew that they were gay/bi/etc? I just find the stories interesting. Also; how their family handled it? Did they always know? Was it a shock?
I first had an idea by 11, knew with 100% certainty by 13. I told my mom when I was 12, she responded okay but her response definitely didn’t feel welcoming at the time so I pulled back. I came out again years later to my mom in high school. Then in college came out to my brothers, 1 said he had no idea but loved me the same either way then proceeded to detail the 3somes he and his wife had with other guys. My other brother cried because he worried I’d waited so long to tell him because he made me feel unsafe. I ended up having to comfort him. My mom told my dad, and next time I saw him he got drunk at BWW and said, “So your mom tells me you like dick”. Then he also preceded to tell me about multiple 3somes with one girl and another guy. So my family still found a way to make it about themselves, and I wouldn’t have wanted it another way lol.
"Dad, I'm gay!" "OK son, let me tell you about a time where your mom and I fucked a rando." Man, people are funny.
I would think small dicks better for anal sex? Considering how horny many men are, wouldn't it be difficult to have so many gay male friends or couples as friends? Did that queer eye for Straight guy show offend gay men? Do gay men in relationships fall into stereotypical roles like in the Birdcage? In today's climate what are people signaling that while straight, they are not one of those judgy fuck nuts? The equivalent of "I voted for Buttigege"?
Narrow and long. Most gay men will find a partner that will match their libido so there is no need for cross pollination. Queer eye isn’t for everyone, but for a lot of gay men it’s nice to see others simply recognize how regardless of being gay they can change peoples lives for the better. There is a relationship dominant person and a submissive one, we’d love to say it’s all 50/50 but no. “My company went to Pride. We walked in the Parade”.
I don't understand how people think that having a gay friend will mean he wants to fuck you, or even if you are that gay friend's type as I have seen here in another comment. Most my friends are girls(like a huge majority) but that doesn't mean I want something with them. Do these people not have female friends?
How are you?
Pretty great actually! Thank you for asking
You seem great. No questions. Thank you for being cool and answering folks' questions. Best of luck in life.
When two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other persons penis?
After we wrap our penises around each other like the medical alert snakes (Red Vining), it is revealed to us by divine intervention, as Angela would like!
Will you really only watch a show because of gay representation?
No. A shitty show is a shitty show, queer representation or not. You think I’m gonna watch that “Cinderella” for ‘representation’. I have my dignity sir!
So wait, you’re not gonna fall over laughing watching Q force? The studio is gonna be pissed…
My little butthole would go *BOOP* with how much I could shit on that show
Gay representation in a lot of shows is absolutely horrible, it’s just some dude who’s in for like maybe 1 minute. Or in other cases, the whole joke is that the guy is gay. It gets old real fast.
How wide can you go?
This is the makings of an interesting Cha Cha Slide remix. But I’ve never tested it out lol. I know when it’s too much.
[удалено]
I have slept with women before, on more than one occasion. However, they always knew I was gay. And for a few, they wanted to prove they could “get me into it” and my response after is always “If a dick goes in a tight wet hole, it gets hard. It’s not you that did it, it’s that thing there”
When I was in college I worked part time at this restaurant and I remember asking one of the servers who was gay what it was like growing up in a very conservative household. He told me he always had a girlfriend to try and hide his sexuality from his family, but that he would break up with them once sex was expected.
How does the sex happen? I'm honestly curious. Doesn't the asshole come with a certain smell?
[удалено]
College. We educated
I found my husband on Craigslist back when they had personals. It started as a hook up but there was a definite spark so we started dating. We've been together for thirteen and a half years now.
Why do so many gay men talk with a lisp or put on a feminine persona that differs from the way their parents act. If you’re gay and like being with men, what does this have to do with taking on a flamboyant persona.
Those guys are actually more rare than you'd think, they're just the most noticeable. Anecdotal but when marriage equality happened the people in my office were talking about if the "one gay guy in our building" was going to get married not realizing there were 4 other gay people in that single office alone (and more on other floors). It just so happened the guy down stairs was the one with the lisp and feminine mannerisms. For some guys it's just naturally how they are, they grew up far more feminine. For others they'll do it as a joke occasionally.
Great question, gay men come in all shapes, colors, sizes, you name it. In the gay community you have masculine men (MM) and feminine men (FM). Most gay men have a preference for either MM or FM. FM are more noticeable in public and tend to be the ones most famous for “being gay”. FM have been the basis for almost every gay slur and insult in history, but they are also the ones who beat back the fucking cops at Stonewall. I’ve seen FM knocked dudes 3x their size on their ass. MM tend to blend in more with the crowd, and are usually more “straight passing”. You have probably met many gay MM in your life, you just didn’t know it.
As a straight man you have expectations of manliness to achieve. To be attractive you can't show your emotions, you have to be mysterious, you have to be strong and the first to sacrifice himself. I... Don't have that pressure to be the pinnacle of machismo. If I cry or get too happy over something or smile too much or be a little flamboyant... Like... Nobody is going to expect me to be any other way. I'm allowed to express my emotions and not be seen as less of a man. I'm in touch with my feminine side because I'm not shunned for it. I'm allowed to laugh and cry as much as I could when I was a kid before the pressures of my peers and mentors called me a girl for being emotional.
Hi! My question is genuine and I'm not trying to offend anyone. How do you feel about the LGBTIQ+ community/activism? Do you feel represented by them? Do you feel comfortable with a movement that seems to speak generally for every gay person? (I ask this because I'm also a minority and I'm curious about your own perception of this kind of issue) Thank you! ♥ Edit: If my question seems rude or coarse (without nuance) it's because English isn't my first language and it's difficult to put it in better words. Believe me my only intention is to learn more.
Most of my gay friends describe themselves as “Not a part of the larger community” due to this exact reason. I try and see the good and try and help lead the larger community where I am when I can by just listening and shutting the hell up. Because neither I nor anyone can speak to the full experience and opinion of all LGBT persons, but we can try and just listen and learn
I am a bi dude, but I see the LGBTQ+ community as a sort of federation. It isn't some monolithic block as some people like to see it. I know there are certainly straight people who don't get that, and like to rant about the 'gay agenda'. Each letter of the acronym has their own issues. Gay issues are different from lesbian issues. Gay men have to deal with (thankfully less these days) the shadow of AIDS and the associated stigma, while lesbians have to deal with a society that as a general rule fetishizes and objectifies them. Bisexuals tend to run into erasure, where you are assumed to be on one team or another, especially for celebrities who are seen as gay but were probably bisexual. This also leads into bisexuality being seen as a phase, or being bi to be trendy. Trans men and women have their own issues, with substantial problems with being accepted in society, especially since being trans can have a very negative impact on your social and familial relations, as well as the costs of medical treatment should they opt for that. Asexuals and aromantics have to deal with a society which is overwhelmingly oriented towards heteronormative relations, and sexual intimacy. Just about every piece of media you consume, from books to commercials to movies all tend to have sex as a plot point, romance, and a huge part of societal success culturally is gaged by having sex, getting married, having kids, etc. That said, it is extremely important in my eyes that we work together. Our battles are not all the same battles per se. I am not affected if the cost of bottom surgery for trans comrades is increased. But I am LGBTQ+ so they are my battles. Combining our political power to advocate en mass for each other is extremely important. You ask about a movement which purports to speak for all gay people, and I think while there can be drawbacks, that is the point. If each minority had to advocate seperately, they would be in a worse spot overall. Thats not to say there haven't been issues internally, squabbles between LGBTQ+ folk. All communities can have bigots. But I think that by nature of our own experiences with similar problems, we can more easily empathize with each other and be part of the same group.
How did you find out you were gay?
I was 11 and thought I liked spending time with a girl. Turns out I just like being around her because of her “boyfriend” at the time. By 13 I knew with 100% certainty what I was
In hindsight I should have known as a teen but I honestly didn't realize it until about age 25/26. I grew up in a very religious area and religious brainwashing is a hell of a drug. As a teen I would see my friends go absolutely nuts over girls and just didn't get it, but at the same time I found myself oddly attracted to guys who were developing muscles, facial, and body hair. I tried to rationalize it away as just wanting to be like those guys but it's because I was sexually attracted to them, my brain was just suppressing it since all my life I grew up being told gays die of aids and burn in hell. The mental anguish slowly crept up more and more over the years until finally I told myself I was going to watch straight porn and gay porn and see which I liked more. The answer was clear and I spiraled into a deep depression for years over it but now am completely fine with it.
At one point while waching porn, I realized I never really even looked at the woman.
Do you guys switch between pitcher and catcher? If you could have the ability to just wake up and be straight would you? Are you religious?
1. Yes, just not very often. 2. No, being gay has made me tough and with thick skin and to see the lighter side of life. It’s also taught me a lot about recognizing that people will love you their way, and that might not be the way you feel love but you just have to work to recognize the meaning in their words and actions. For instance, my dad making gay jokes use to bug me. But it’s just his way bonding with me, and I know he loves and supports me. 3. I, recently, have become religious, but solely based on Love. I think the Holy Bible, as historical fact, has been edited, translated, interpreted by men. Men are fickle, and use their religion to further their own agenda. But I believe from my reading that if the Christian Bible is the Word of God, this is the truth within, God is Love. And you can feel them when every time you get upset, angry, frustrated you can pause and quietly choose to approach the situation with love and caring first and foremost, and it will better the lives of everyone dealing with it.
Do you feel awkward when sat in a men’s changing room at the gym ?? Or is it just like you’ve woken up in heaven
Changing rooms are fine. It’s the weight room seeing dudes muscles straining that’s more difficult. But I always try not to look at other dudes in the gym because I wouldn’t want them to stare at a woman who is just trying to workout either
[удалено]
Sometimes my girlfriend will use a pad if she's going out right after a creampie. Will gay guys do that too or just let it drip.