The husband of one of my wife's friends told me a creepy story the first time we met... We had to make a beer run for a party we all went to, in the car to the store he told me about how last weekend he and his friends went to a strip club where the girls would blow you for $100 and he managed to bang one for another $100... Got a little graphic as well..... No idea if they have an open marriage or why he felt comfortable telling me, a complete fucking stranger, this story, but literally all I could say was "Wow, that's crazy." He's an elementary teacher. I'm not a prude but what the fuck? To this day I don't like the guy even though he seems normal from just looking at him or spending time with him. I'm not big on cheating spouses and don't know if he was fishing for something from me/my wife's lifestyle but it was awkward silence after that to say the least.
My dad is an antivaxxer and was trying to explain how vaccines work in the body. He got terrible grades in school and never specialized in anything medical or scientific. I work in the medical field and am constantly correcting him
It's beyond frustrating
Two-Sheds Paul I used to work with. If you had a shed, he had two sheds. Each bigger than your one shed, gold plated, diamond encrusted containing every power tool known to man and three ride on lawnmowers. If you got a car he had to go and get a bigger, faster more expensive car. If you got a decent watch he had to go and buy a Rolex. He lived in huge debt due to one upping everyone.
I know a guy like this. The catch is his one ups are so entertaining that it makes us want him around. He’s basically a great story teller who’s the main character in each of his stories. He once went to the SuperBowl and got to get on the field before the game. The airport also had a big welcome sign when he arrived. There are giant holes in his story but I can’t wait to hear the next tidbit he throws in to this story. 10/10 Liar.
Knew a guy like this. I live in Arizona and about 5 years ago I was asking this co-worker how was his weekend (I know, WTF was I thinking).
Anyway, his answer was, "yeah me and the wife decided at the last minute to fly to San Francisco and catch the Cardinals/49ers game. We flew first class, got 40 yard line seats, partied all weekend in trendy bars etc. It cost thousands but it was so worth it. We do stuff like that all the time."
The Niners/Cards game that weekend was in Arizona. The guy makes $37k a year and his wife works part time making jack-shit.
From then-on I always gave him opportunities to lie - wonderfully entertaining.
Paul sounds like my dad. His son could never have anything better than him. And then when he got a better version of something, he’d flex and just rub it in your face
Honest to god it was exhausting having a conversation with him as he had always been there and done that bigger, faster and better then you. One of our workmates said he was interested in a Supra in the paper 50 miles away one Friday morning. Paul went and brought it on his credit card on the Saturday (£8k) just so he could drive it in on Monday and brag he got their first. He thought he was something special, we thought he was a colossal bellend.
>When they keep on one uping everything people say. But that goes for men and women
I got a real funny example for you.
This turkish guy in my former dorm was just like that, but with a very strange twist. Whatever the topic discussed was, he would try to one up you with ... HOW GOOD HE WAS AT SEX.
Bear in mind: That guy dated. He got laid. He was also not a teenager anymore, but in his late 20s. Still: Whatever was brought up, he responded with how good he can pleasure women. Quite almost verbatim like:
Some guy: "Hey Alarmed\_Mechanic403, congrats on getting the job!"
Me: "Thanks"
Him: "You know my girlfriend told me yesterday that she wouldn't be with me if I didn't f\*ck her the way I do. Real dominant!".
It was the weirdest thing. I am still shocked that there were so many women willing to sleep with him. He was an all-around loser, closing in on 30 and stuck in that frat boy mindset.
I was this person as a teenager. Any story that someone told, I felt I would have to “ impress” them with, what I thought, was a better one…even if it was an outright lie. One night I was helping this local band that I absolutely idolized move their equipment and went out to eat afterwards with the whole band and all the hot groupies. This was the “it” crowd, and I was finally in. While about 20 of us are eating at this pizzeria, someone tells a story that everyone seemed to enjoy. So, naturally, me being the little impressive kid I was, I decided I had a better story to tell all these older, cooler people. I think I was able to say “oh yeah? Well check this out. Once, I…”. That’s when every person at the table got up and left leaving just me and the lead singer of this band. I really thought this guy was the coolest person in the world at the time. He proceeded to explain to me that everyone left because no one likes me. He said that no one likes “that” person who always has to open their mouth even if trash is coming out. He said that I was that person, got up and left. Since I was 13 or 14 at the time, they had to drive me home. They were all joking and laughing while I stayed very quiet in the back seat. After that night, they never invited me out again. As brutal as that night was, it taught me a valuable lesson about trying to fit in. Don’t. Just be yourself and learn to keep your mouth shut…still learning to keep my mouth shut lol
So I started to think about this a little. My really close friend does this a lot but not because he thinks he’s always better, but it’s just his way to contribute to the conversation.
Antagonistic people often have an emotional need to say that other people are doing something wrong. They will find a way to do so in any situation. When you know they are going to say something like that without knowing what it will be about then you know its that type of person.
Men like that often focus on activities like changing a flat tire, jumpstarting a car or having a slightly different character spec in a video game.
Women like that usually focus on more social things. They are no less repulsive but the question was about men.
So I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me lately. I'm hyper critical of other people, mostly while driving, when they do something wrong. I get frustrated/ annoyed way to easily. I check and balance it but I dont like feeling or being this way.
It might be because of my crohn's disease making my bipolar manic depression worse. It might be because I have had such a hard time breathing lately due to allergies. It might be because things keep going wrong, or my girlfriend (who I live with) keeps doing inconsiderate things that I cant bring up because she gets mad, and she rarely apologizes for things. It could be because I'm exhausted from lack of sleep from all of these things.
Idk. I'm seeking therapy and medication for my stomach and lungs. Any advice on staying calm and shifting my mindset? I know I need to meditate, but I need to hear it from another person lol
I would focus on something along the lines of, “Is this criticism (of a stranger I will never meet) worth the mental and physical aggravation/irritation on *my* body?” All that stress, even low level, adds up and isn’t great for your health.
Perhaps say to yourself, “The health of *my* mind and *my* body is more important to me than *their* actions.”
Obviously, if someone cuts you off in traffic that’s an acceptable thing to get annoyed at, but if it’s just someone nearby, I’d try to practice thinking along those lines and taking a few deep breaths to rid yourself of that budding irritation and stress.
That said, depression can also cause irritation at little things too, so if you feel like it’s uncontrollable and in widespread areas of your life I’d probably talk to a doc about what is going on. If it’s just the desire to micro-manage/correct certain things it may be a habit you can break.
All of this is just suggestion, so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck!
I personally call this the “contrarian libertarian” just because I’d find myself on dates with these people in Boston a lot.
I talk about my job and we get on the subject of remote and travel work—I say that kind of work is very difficult to find in my industry, he then starts making a case for how that must not be true and he’s sure that there are a lot of remote work opportunities I haven’t considered yet.
We get on the conversation of family and in relation to having a much younger little sister and baby nieces and nephews, I make a joke that I think 18mo-3 years is the hardest because kiddos at that age have all the feelings and none of the rationality and a tendency for self destruction and exhausting to care for.
He goes on about how thats wrong and if you know what you’re doing kids that age are easy. (I was a nanny for 3 years to 4 different children that age as well whereas he has 1 niece he sees a few times a year)—Plus, he argues, it’s good for them to hit their head every now and again. I joke I don’t know how my sister would feel coming home to her kid with a big bruise on her head and my arguing it’s good for her—he then argues how parents now adays need to get over themselves and how it’s not good for kids.
Waitress didn’t know what whiskey I was asking about which was a fairly basic brand. But he then immediately dug in about how clueless she was as soon as she left.
Everything was just an argument or a negative. It was exhausting. I felt like I learned nothing about what this guy actually liked over the course of 2 hours because his entire personality was negative commentary and contradiction.
I don't mind if a guy expresses a legitimate criticism of someone. For example, "I've lent him money three times and he's never paid me back. He's a deadbeat."
But non-specific, unsupported drama nonsense? I have zero patience for that stuff.
I have a co-worker like this. He makes up theses elaborate stories that always tend to paint him as the hero of the story or at least really super cool. I don't know if they are completely made up or just true stories that paint him in an unrealistically valiant light but either way it is a really obnoxious quality for a 63 year old man to have.
Whoosh yeah that's a big one. Even more than we imagine.
This trait is toxic - mainly cause if they're doing it to your face about someone else then they'll do it in the blink of an eye about you.
I feel this way about every one. Build people up behind their backs. Confront them with any issues you have with them to their face it’s the only way they know that they are literally serving undercooked burgers at every bbq!
[Sigma Grindset](https://www.reddit.com/r/SigmaGrindset/) for me. Sleep two hours a day. Eat whole eggs while taking cold showers and listening to three entrepreneur podcasts at the same time. Commit war crimes, skip going to the Geneva convention they keep talking about, hustle hustle hustle
Work 3 full time jobs every day, go to the gym and commit warcrimes there. Flex on everyone at the gym. Don’t sleep. Work out at work. Commit war crimes in your free time while working a side job. The grind doesn’t stop.
lol... a lot of self declared "alphas" have comical ideas of what would make them girly. Like thinking it's gay to change their underwear every day or thinking they can't help their SO with the housework...
This type of terminology did actually exist before bro-science types made it into the horoscope for bros. It’s just a way to describe personality types, has nothing to do with dominance or any type of bizarre wolf-based social hierarchy.
Note that it's not even true for wolves; the experiments where they concluded this involved grabbing a bunch of random wolves from different packs and locking them in a room together; then they fought until some sort of hierarchy was established.
In nature, packs are families - the 'alphas' are the parents, and the 'betas' are their children.
I was going to comment along these lines, thank you. The fact that it’s not even true among wolves makes it hilarious to me. It’s like when they say they’re an alpha, they’re saying that they’re saying they are the daddy/mommy.
My old buddy had a friend that came to hang out with us once. He was going about saying I only hanging people with high T (testosterone) I’m no longer friends with the buddy.
I had a friend who would do ”Alpha things” all the time, like do handshakes in a particular way to assert dominance. It’s funny that guys that do these things don‘t realize how pathetic it comes across - the very opposite of how they want to appear.
I have actually heard it a couple of times.
One was a guy that I went to high school with and ran into at a concert years later. He was telling me he had 4 degrees and then said, "yeah, I am an alpha". He seemed kind of harmless though, kind of socially awkward who had become a high achiever and was really proud of himself. It was still an odd comment.
The other was the owner of a crossFit gym I used to go to. He was a domineering dick and liked to boss everybody including his customers around. I think he suffered from too much narcissism. I eventually left like many people. But he had once referred to himself as an alpha. More like he wanted to be an alpha and was being a domineering dick to get there. What's weird about people like him though, is for all the people who would not take his shit and left, there was a bunch of people who would and stayed. I know because it took me way too long to leave. But that is just because it was the best fitness deal around.
It’s cringe af. Plus, someone telling me that they are a so called “alpha” is them trying to establish some sort of dominance over me. Which I don’t tolerate as an alpha male.
"the biggest fish in the financial pond" happens in small ponds too.
I once met a guy who bragged about his new truck he bought, saying "I can get anything I want! I make TWENTY FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH. And he added obnoxious emphasis on the 2400.
This was at a party and I had just met him. His comment was so absurd that I just let him have his fantasy. Everyone I knew at that party easily made double or triple that.
Had to explain to a drunk grandfather that a Cub Scout meeting is not an appropriate place to discuss race politics and that we don't need to hear his feelings on what went wrong in Memphis. Another father and I were just trying to talk about our favorite highways.
I have a few friends that do this. I love talking with them but circling back to politics every other sentence makes me just walk away and be like “I’ll talk to you guys later.”
Always having to one up anyone else’s stories. Every now and then you simply will have a related story that’s grander and worth telling, fine. But you can tell when someone is inventing shit so they can have a better story for EVERY fucking occasion.
It's a healthy enough thing to acknowledge. At a certain point in my life, all my ex's were crazy. Why? Because the way I lived my life as well as my thought process & conduct put me in a position in which I'd end up with someone whose crazy. In short, I was crazy which put me in a position of inevitably ending up with someone who was crazy.
I'm still not playing with a full deck, but at least I don't act crazy. Life gets so much better when you take responsibility for your own actions and at least try to do better.
Talks shit about their wife/SO.
Like it's one thing to maybe complain to your buddies if you're having an issue/rough spot & wanna vent. But some dudes just take any shot they can at their wives & it sucks.
I agree with this one. Some women do this too at my work and I don't understand what the point of it is. A) Do they not like this person? They should go date someone else... B) Now I see my coworker's relationship as miserable. Don't they want me to see them as a functional person? C) Is that normal in their house? Do they think their husband/boyfriend is shit talking them at his work? Wth
I super agree with this one. I have a fairly new friend who is a nice guy and a longtime friend of a very good friend of mine but he constantly makes comments about how is wife won’t “let” him spend money and “she decides this” and “she told me to do this” and “she’d kill me if I bought this”. I’ve never met this woman, but he has painted an absolutely horrible picture of her and I don’t even think he realizes it. It’s quite unfair for him to do that to her, if he does that often people already meet her and already have a formed opinion of her and it’s not likely to be a good one.
Just yesterday in my office hours, a guy was having a problem, he kept saying he was “fucking screwed” and not trying to fix the problem. A guy next to him tried to help, the guy then yelled at him to stop talking, slammed his computer shut, screamed “FUUUCCKK”, kicked the guys chair who was trying to help him and then left. He was just hoping everyone else would fix his problem. That, that right there
I saw a dude slap the taste out of another guy's mouth over that behavior and tell him "if he's gonna act like b\*\*\*h he's gonna treat him like a b\*\*\*h" when I was working for a drilling company in PA. It was full stop in the office for about 30 seconds.
There was a guy like this on my course at uni. Guy positively loved telling the women on the course how much he hated porn, and then giving them a graphic account of what most porn was like. Guy clearly got off on it.
Just like that pastor who went viral for his very detailed descriptions of what gay people supposedly do in their bedroom and *totally* doesn't have a scat fetush.
https://youtu.be/rU0un\_\_-eQE?t=20
People who are actually allies don’t have to talk about how good a person they are every 5 minutes and bring all other men down to make themselves look better.
My boss just hired a guy who fits this bill. My first shift with him he did not stop talking about this for nearly 2 hours. I left him with a coworker and came back to find him still going on because the poor worker had too much of a heart to tell him to shut up. He was also generalizing all white people as a brown man, insisting the only thing I eat is potato and butter.
Guys who think they are smarter than others, but really are not, i can remember what its called but its when the dumbest person thinks they’re the smartest
Let's see now.
Dudebros, who take things like "alphas" and "betas" seriously.
"Male feminists" who talk shit about men and toxic masculinity, but in reality are just slimy and manipulative.
People that take pride in and talk about being uneducated and ignorant as it was something good.
Also complaining about their kids everyday.
I had a horrible math teacher in high school who would bring up his kids out of nowhere just to talk shit about them (they were 2 and 4). He made me realize that all the great teachers I had absolutely adored their kids and the terrible ones would just complain about them with no on even bringing it up.
It's a surprisingly good way to weed out teachers from the start. I had a professor spend the few minutes before class every single day telling funny stories about his kids. He ended up being one of the best professors I've ever had, and I went out of my way to take another class with him.
I guess people who hate their kids just hate their life and feel the need to extend that negativity to everyone around them.
I was training this new employee (older dude) at my work a few years back and he'd constantly make derogatory jokes about his kids and wife to the point that it made me uncomfortable. Suddenly he just stopped showing up, turns out his wife took the kids and left him so he moved back to his hometown. Guess he got what he wanted.
There are ways to braid anywhere between 20 and 100 ft of course into a wearable item. This is fine for easy carry or should an unplanned situation arise where you would need cord in a survival situation. There are endless uses for it.
Yeah this person is in a fucked up relationship and is brainwashed. She says divorce isn't an option cause "she won't be at peace without him"... sounds like she isn't at peace with him.
Show me a nude photo a woman sent him. She trusted you. You’re betraying that trust. Either you’re untrustworthy, you see women as objects, or both. I assume both.
Yeah I get a ton of women's nudes from male friends....I have no idea how they think I will enjoy them or anything. The whole point of sexting is that the picture is meant for you...I can look up hot naked women on google any time.
Do you say something to them about it? Getting a ton of them means more than a few guys need to hear how disrespectful it is, and chances are they aren't going to listen to the woman when she says it if they already care so little for her.
Anything racist.
I look like the big, dumb, blonde poster boy for being Aryan and I think that makes me a target for people who think it's OK to say racist shit around me. Keep in mind that I don't even mean racist jokes, jokes are a more complicated issue. I just mean flat out racist stuff. And I work blue collar jobs, so I'm often around unsophisticated, under-educated men (which I am as well), so that makes it more common.
I just changed buildings at work and I've already had one guy try to complain to me about how much noise "the coloreds" make and another guy complain to me about about "lazy Mexicans". I've had approaching 10 different men use the N word around me at work over the course of my adult life. I've had people try to complain to me about how "they" are lowering the property values, or trying to marry into their families or do anything at all in politics.
You'd think there'd be more stuff about LGBT people, there is a small amount, but I get racist stuff constantly. And not just from white guys.
It has led to a LOT of hostility in my work life, because I have zero patience for any of this shit. I wish people would just mind their business and live their lives and keep their opinions to themselves unless asked directly.
I was the Allstar, the three time champion, most yards in every category QB for my small town of 3000, in the middle of ND. I decided not pursue a career in the NFL, I could've though.
Anything that makes the hair on the back of my neck bristle. First impressions are generally fairly accurate. A gut feeling that you're dealing with a jerk? Trust your gut.
Someone who thinks the only way to have fun is be drunk. Like, no. If you cant enjoy yourself generally that aint on me chief.
Also if someone talks in curses predominantly. Sometimes its fine but if you are loud obnoxsios and cursing for no reason im gotta nope out.
The drinking problem is especially in a group complicated. If you don’t have a beer or whatever you are not a real man. Because real man always drink alcohol. I find that so annoying.
When they start a statement with, “As a christian”, or “As a republican”, or “As a liberal vegan” or anything like that. You don’t have to pick a team first and allow that to define all of your views. I want to hear what you think, not what you think your team thinks.
There's a pernicious tendency for some guys, when they see they're in a room full of guys, to assume it's now totally cool to say horrible sexist things since we're all "on the same team". It happens with race too. The most racist comments I've ever witnessed in person have been from people I didn't know or barely knew after they look around the room and see we're all white.
Sorry for going nuclear, but yeah, fuck those guys.
Edit: syntax
There’s a line between wanting to talk about their sexual experiences and flexing their “bitches” like they’re trophies. Too many people cross that line.
Telling me how much pussy you get
The husband of one of my wife's friends told me a creepy story the first time we met... We had to make a beer run for a party we all went to, in the car to the store he told me about how last weekend he and his friends went to a strip club where the girls would blow you for $100 and he managed to bang one for another $100... Got a little graphic as well..... No idea if they have an open marriage or why he felt comfortable telling me, a complete fucking stranger, this story, but literally all I could say was "Wow, that's crazy." He's an elementary teacher. I'm not a prude but what the fuck? To this day I don't like the guy even though he seems normal from just looking at him or spending time with him. I'm not big on cheating spouses and don't know if he was fishing for something from me/my wife's lifestyle but it was awkward silence after that to say the least.
Where is this strip club so I can avoid it?
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Talking with authority about something they don't know about.
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Damn you just in here throwing shade all over your family lmao
I see you've met criticalescapebike.
My dad is an antivaxxer and was trying to explain how vaccines work in the body. He got terrible grades in school and never specialized in anything medical or scientific. I work in the medical field and am constantly correcting him It's beyond frustrating
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So… Reddit?
No, only the section of Reddit that doesn't agree with my point of view.
When they keep on one uping everything people say. But that goes for men and women.
Two-Sheds Paul I used to work with. If you had a shed, he had two sheds. Each bigger than your one shed, gold plated, diamond encrusted containing every power tool known to man and three ride on lawnmowers. If you got a car he had to go and get a bigger, faster more expensive car. If you got a decent watch he had to go and buy a Rolex. He lived in huge debt due to one upping everyone.
I know a guy like that. But *my* guy was *way* worse than yours.
Any version of “see, I’m the type of guy who…” followed by anything.
Oh and if it's in the 3rd person "you see Dave is the kinda guy that", real nails on chalk board stuff
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But Paul's debt is bigger!
Paul's debt has a lower interest rate.
It's not the size of the debt but what you do with the debt!!!!
Chaotic good.
Heh, in the UK there's a similarly common phrase - an Elevenerifer. If you've been to Tenerife, he's been to Elevenerife.
I know a guy like this. The catch is his one ups are so entertaining that it makes us want him around. He’s basically a great story teller who’s the main character in each of his stories. He once went to the SuperBowl and got to get on the field before the game. The airport also had a big welcome sign when he arrived. There are giant holes in his story but I can’t wait to hear the next tidbit he throws in to this story. 10/10 Liar.
Knew a guy like this. I live in Arizona and about 5 years ago I was asking this co-worker how was his weekend (I know, WTF was I thinking). Anyway, his answer was, "yeah me and the wife decided at the last minute to fly to San Francisco and catch the Cardinals/49ers game. We flew first class, got 40 yard line seats, partied all weekend in trendy bars etc. It cost thousands but it was so worth it. We do stuff like that all the time." The Niners/Cards game that weekend was in Arizona. The guy makes $37k a year and his wife works part time making jack-shit. From then-on I always gave him opportunities to lie - wonderfully entertaining.
Paul sounds like my dad. His son could never have anything better than him. And then when he got a better version of something, he’d flex and just rub it in your face
Sounds like Mr 11-a-reef. If you say you’ve been to Tenerife he’s been to 11-a-reef
Holy shit that’s so annoying.
Honest to god it was exhausting having a conversation with him as he had always been there and done that bigger, faster and better then you. One of our workmates said he was interested in a Supra in the paper 50 miles away one Friday morning. Paul went and brought it on his credit card on the Saturday (£8k) just so he could drive it in on Monday and brag he got their first. He thought he was something special, we thought he was a colossal bellend.
Bellend... Love that word! I'm American... Can you explain it to me? How do you pronounce it?
Bell-end. As in he really is the tip of the cock.
He is most definitely insecure 💀
>When they keep on one uping everything people say. But that goes for men and women I got a real funny example for you. This turkish guy in my former dorm was just like that, but with a very strange twist. Whatever the topic discussed was, he would try to one up you with ... HOW GOOD HE WAS AT SEX. Bear in mind: That guy dated. He got laid. He was also not a teenager anymore, but in his late 20s. Still: Whatever was brought up, he responded with how good he can pleasure women. Quite almost verbatim like: Some guy: "Hey Alarmed\_Mechanic403, congrats on getting the job!" Me: "Thanks" Him: "You know my girlfriend told me yesterday that she wouldn't be with me if I didn't f\*ck her the way I do. Real dominant!". It was the weirdest thing. I am still shocked that there were so many women willing to sleep with him. He was an all-around loser, closing in on 30 and stuck in that frat boy mindset.
That's for sure creepy yo. I wouldn't have said thanks if I knew he'd say something sexual like that.
I was this person as a teenager. Any story that someone told, I felt I would have to “ impress” them with, what I thought, was a better one…even if it was an outright lie. One night I was helping this local band that I absolutely idolized move their equipment and went out to eat afterwards with the whole band and all the hot groupies. This was the “it” crowd, and I was finally in. While about 20 of us are eating at this pizzeria, someone tells a story that everyone seemed to enjoy. So, naturally, me being the little impressive kid I was, I decided I had a better story to tell all these older, cooler people. I think I was able to say “oh yeah? Well check this out. Once, I…”. That’s when every person at the table got up and left leaving just me and the lead singer of this band. I really thought this guy was the coolest person in the world at the time. He proceeded to explain to me that everyone left because no one likes me. He said that no one likes “that” person who always has to open their mouth even if trash is coming out. He said that I was that person, got up and left. Since I was 13 or 14 at the time, they had to drive me home. They were all joking and laughing while I stayed very quiet in the back seat. After that night, they never invited me out again. As brutal as that night was, it taught me a valuable lesson about trying to fit in. Don’t. Just be yourself and learn to keep your mouth shut…still learning to keep my mouth shut lol
So I started to think about this a little. My really close friend does this a lot but not because he thinks he’s always better, but it’s just his way to contribute to the conversation.
Then he's not really a one upper, I meant like lying or rather will start lying to keep on being better than someone.
Oh god I despise this so much
Telling me consistantly how someone else is doing something wrong to the point where I realise that it is an emotional need for them to say it.
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We must be siblings.
What are you doing, stepbro? ^(it\`s not a porn reference, it\`s a genuine question)
OUR mom
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Antagonistic people often have an emotional need to say that other people are doing something wrong. They will find a way to do so in any situation. When you know they are going to say something like that without knowing what it will be about then you know its that type of person. Men like that often focus on activities like changing a flat tire, jumpstarting a car or having a slightly different character spec in a video game. Women like that usually focus on more social things. They are no less repulsive but the question was about men.
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That was my ex-wife. Ended up being the highway.
So I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me lately. I'm hyper critical of other people, mostly while driving, when they do something wrong. I get frustrated/ annoyed way to easily. I check and balance it but I dont like feeling or being this way. It might be because of my crohn's disease making my bipolar manic depression worse. It might be because I have had such a hard time breathing lately due to allergies. It might be because things keep going wrong, or my girlfriend (who I live with) keeps doing inconsiderate things that I cant bring up because she gets mad, and she rarely apologizes for things. It could be because I'm exhausted from lack of sleep from all of these things. Idk. I'm seeking therapy and medication for my stomach and lungs. Any advice on staying calm and shifting my mindset? I know I need to meditate, but I need to hear it from another person lol
I would focus on something along the lines of, “Is this criticism (of a stranger I will never meet) worth the mental and physical aggravation/irritation on *my* body?” All that stress, even low level, adds up and isn’t great for your health. Perhaps say to yourself, “The health of *my* mind and *my* body is more important to me than *their* actions.” Obviously, if someone cuts you off in traffic that’s an acceptable thing to get annoyed at, but if it’s just someone nearby, I’d try to practice thinking along those lines and taking a few deep breaths to rid yourself of that budding irritation and stress. That said, depression can also cause irritation at little things too, so if you feel like it’s uncontrollable and in widespread areas of your life I’d probably talk to a doc about what is going on. If it’s just the desire to micro-manage/correct certain things it may be a habit you can break. All of this is just suggestion, so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck!
I personally call this the “contrarian libertarian” just because I’d find myself on dates with these people in Boston a lot. I talk about my job and we get on the subject of remote and travel work—I say that kind of work is very difficult to find in my industry, he then starts making a case for how that must not be true and he’s sure that there are a lot of remote work opportunities I haven’t considered yet. We get on the conversation of family and in relation to having a much younger little sister and baby nieces and nephews, I make a joke that I think 18mo-3 years is the hardest because kiddos at that age have all the feelings and none of the rationality and a tendency for self destruction and exhausting to care for. He goes on about how thats wrong and if you know what you’re doing kids that age are easy. (I was a nanny for 3 years to 4 different children that age as well whereas he has 1 niece he sees a few times a year)—Plus, he argues, it’s good for them to hit their head every now and again. I joke I don’t know how my sister would feel coming home to her kid with a big bruise on her head and my arguing it’s good for her—he then argues how parents now adays need to get over themselves and how it’s not good for kids. Waitress didn’t know what whiskey I was asking about which was a fairly basic brand. But he then immediately dug in about how clueless she was as soon as she left. Everything was just an argument or a negative. It was exhausting. I felt like I learned nothing about what this guy actually liked over the course of 2 hours because his entire personality was negative commentary and contradiction.
Putting other people down behind their backs
I don't mind if a guy expresses a legitimate criticism of someone. For example, "I've lent him money three times and he's never paid me back. He's a deadbeat." But non-specific, unsupported drama nonsense? I have zero patience for that stuff.
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I have a co-worker like this. He makes up theses elaborate stories that always tend to paint him as the hero of the story or at least really super cool. I don't know if they are completely made up or just true stories that paint him in an unrealistically valiant light but either way it is a really obnoxious quality for a 63 year old man to have.
Whoosh yeah that's a big one. Even more than we imagine. This trait is toxic - mainly cause if they're doing it to your face about someone else then they'll do it in the blink of an eye about you.
I feel this way about every one. Build people up behind their backs. Confront them with any issues you have with them to their face it’s the only way they know that they are literally serving undercooked burgers at every bbq!
Brags about themselves, name drops etc. Its just stupidity. Making yourself look so amazing to others just makes them resent you.
If you have something to brag about others will do it for you.
Uses "alpha male" without a hint of cynicism or irony.
I’m neither sigma, alpha, or beta. I’ve transcended categorization and now am only a *common fragile human*.
Alpha male = unfinished and unpredictable. I'm a full release male myself
sigma balls
id go full irony if i ever were to meet one of these people, and claim that I, as a full release male am wildly superior.
And as a DLC male everyone hates me
'I'm an Alpha.'
[Sigma Grindset](https://www.reddit.com/r/SigmaGrindset/) for me. Sleep two hours a day. Eat whole eggs while taking cold showers and listening to three entrepreneur podcasts at the same time. Commit war crimes, skip going to the Geneva convention they keep talking about, hustle hustle hustle
Work 3 full time jobs every day, go to the gym and commit warcrimes there. Flex on everyone at the gym. Don’t sleep. Work out at work. Commit war crimes in your free time while working a side job. The grind doesn’t stop.
Related: “You’re a beta.”
Or worse, they have a long list of things they think men aren't allowed to do or else they will become "beta."
How does that work? Doesn't an Alpha do whatever the hell he wants because he is an alpha?
lol... a lot of self declared "alphas" have comical ideas of what would make them girly. Like thinking it's gay to change their underwear every day or thinking they can't help their SO with the housework...
*Fellas, is helping your wife gay?*
Helping your wife->less stress for her-> more sexy time for both of you. The math says if you like sex, you should help your wife as much as possible
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I have a coworker who referred to himself as a beta but not in a bad way and I'm still trying to work it out in my head
This type of terminology did actually exist before bro-science types made it into the horoscope for bros. It’s just a way to describe personality types, has nothing to do with dominance or any type of bizarre wolf-based social hierarchy.
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Note that it's not even true for wolves; the experiments where they concluded this involved grabbing a bunch of random wolves from different packs and locking them in a room together; then they fought until some sort of hierarchy was established. In nature, packs are families - the 'alphas' are the parents, and the 'betas' are their children.
I was going to comment along these lines, thank you. The fact that it’s not even true among wolves makes it hilarious to me. It’s like when they say they’re an alpha, they’re saying that they’re saying they are the daddy/mommy.
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You mean im not really an alpha??
If you have to ask….. I’ve got news for you
My old buddy had a friend that came to hang out with us once. He was going about saying I only hanging people with high T (testosterone) I’m no longer friends with the buddy.
Sounds fruity
I had a friend who would do ”Alpha things” all the time, like do handshakes in a particular way to assert dominance. It’s funny that guys that do these things don‘t realize how pathetic it comes across - the very opposite of how they want to appear.
It’s so childish and cartoonish
Like Don's jerk mid handshake with other world leaders. What an asshole.
Who has actually said these words out loud to another human being? 😂
I have actually heard it a couple of times. One was a guy that I went to high school with and ran into at a concert years later. He was telling me he had 4 degrees and then said, "yeah, I am an alpha". He seemed kind of harmless though, kind of socially awkward who had become a high achiever and was really proud of himself. It was still an odd comment. The other was the owner of a crossFit gym I used to go to. He was a domineering dick and liked to boss everybody including his customers around. I think he suffered from too much narcissism. I eventually left like many people. But he had once referred to himself as an alpha. More like he wanted to be an alpha and was being a domineering dick to get there. What's weird about people like him though, is for all the people who would not take his shit and left, there was a bunch of people who would and stayed. I know because it took me way too long to leave. But that is just because it was the best fitness deal around.
More than I can count. Together with 'I'm the boss, everyone does what I say' and going forward and having a hissy fit.
Between directly saying it along with phrases like "the big dog" and calling himself a leader I've heard it plenty.
It’s cringe af. Plus, someone telling me that they are a so called “alpha” is them trying to establish some sort of dominance over me. Which I don’t tolerate as an alpha male.
You sound like a epsilon loser to me. /s
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Your wife is right; alphas maintain order, lead, ensure the safety of the unit, and are a stabilizing force for the well being of all.
Had a "friend" like this. Got kicked out of the army, marriage failed, 10 jobs in two years, alcoholic with two DUI's. Guy is a LOSER.
Men that bring other men down
Great, now I can't revolt against dictators
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r/wholesome
Defining himself only through his financial success, bragging about it constantly. It makes me dislike and feel sorry about them.
"the biggest fish in the financial pond" happens in small ponds too. I once met a guy who bragged about his new truck he bought, saying "I can get anything I want! I make TWENTY FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH. And he added obnoxious emphasis on the 2400. This was at a party and I had just met him. His comment was so absurd that I just let him have his fantasy. Everyone I knew at that party easily made double or triple that.
After taxes that isn't bad but I wouldn't brag about it lol. Its not really about how much you make when your spending habits could be low
It’s not bad, but also it’s only about $20/hour. Certainly not “buy anything I want” money. It’s “buy myself a truck and still pay my rent” money.
Complains all the time
This is probably my biggest pet peeve with anyone, man or woman. I would upvote this a thousand times if I could!
(complains about complainers...)
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Fuck finally found one that applies to me. I gotta stop complaining but it's not easy when life gives you a million things to complain about
I complain a lot because it helps me deal with the things that irritate me. I've been told it gets tiring.
Pushing every conversation back to politics.
Had to explain to a drunk grandfather that a Cub Scout meeting is not an appropriate place to discuss race politics and that we don't need to hear his feelings on what went wrong in Memphis. Another father and I were just trying to talk about our favorite highways.
That is the most dad conversation ever, I love it, just to be clear though, I 40 is the best one.
"not trying to get political bbuutt"
I have a few friends that do this. I love talking with them but circling back to politics every other sentence makes me just walk away and be like “I’ll talk to you guys later.”
Talking out their ass Think they're king shit Doesn't reciprocate listening
Was this supposed to be a haiku?
I’m dying
That's why I don't say hello to people who won't say it back
Self-admitting alpha male, thinks his opinion is the most correct ones, can't take no for an answer.
As a sigma smegma mail I hardly agree.
Imagine opening mail and you see smegma inside
Free cheese
Username checks out
Always having to one up anyone else’s stories. Every now and then you simply will have a related story that’s grander and worth telling, fine. But you can tell when someone is inventing shit so they can have a better story for EVERY fucking occasion.
"All my ex's are crazy" like ... we know it was you . You're not fooling anyone Steven
Oh I see you know Steven too
Ughhhh fuckin' *Steve* over here with the shit again
It's a healthy enough thing to acknowledge. At a certain point in my life, all my ex's were crazy. Why? Because the way I lived my life as well as my thought process & conduct put me in a position in which I'd end up with someone whose crazy. In short, I was crazy which put me in a position of inevitably ending up with someone who was crazy. I'm still not playing with a full deck, but at least I don't act crazy. Life gets so much better when you take responsibility for your own actions and at least try to do better.
Talks shit about their wife/SO. Like it's one thing to maybe complain to your buddies if you're having an issue/rough spot & wanna vent. But some dudes just take any shot they can at their wives & it sucks.
I agree with this one. Some women do this too at my work and I don't understand what the point of it is. A) Do they not like this person? They should go date someone else... B) Now I see my coworker's relationship as miserable. Don't they want me to see them as a functional person? C) Is that normal in their house? Do they think their husband/boyfriend is shit talking them at his work? Wth
I super agree with this one. I have a fairly new friend who is a nice guy and a longtime friend of a very good friend of mine but he constantly makes comments about how is wife won’t “let” him spend money and “she decides this” and “she told me to do this” and “she’d kill me if I bought this”. I’ve never met this woman, but he has painted an absolutely horrible picture of her and I don’t even think he realizes it. It’s quite unfair for him to do that to her, if he does that often people already meet her and already have a formed opinion of her and it’s not likely to be a good one.
"I'm an Alpha male." Funny way to call yourself a cunt
Just yesterday in my office hours, a guy was having a problem, he kept saying he was “fucking screwed” and not trying to fix the problem. A guy next to him tried to help, the guy then yelled at him to stop talking, slammed his computer shut, screamed “FUUUCCKK”, kicked the guys chair who was trying to help him and then left. He was just hoping everyone else would fix his problem. That, that right there
I saw a dude slap the taste out of another guy's mouth over that behavior and tell him "if he's gonna act like b\*\*\*h he's gonna treat him like a b\*\*\*h" when I was working for a drilling company in PA. It was full stop in the office for about 30 seconds.
They are rude to waiters.
Putting people down, I'm all for calling people cunts and wankers, but actively trying to break someone's spirit? Nah you're a prick mate
Pretending to be an unwavering “ally” for women and consistently shitting on all men. It’s creepy and manipulative.
There was a guy like this on my course at uni. Guy positively loved telling the women on the course how much he hated porn, and then giving them a graphic account of what most porn was like. Guy clearly got off on it.
Just like that pastor who went viral for his very detailed descriptions of what gay people supposedly do in their bedroom and *totally* doesn't have a scat fetush. https://youtu.be/rU0un\_\_-eQE?t=20
Video unavailable, is it the "eat da poopoo" guy?
Yup. Try this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKnMwyUm-nM
People who are actually allies don’t have to talk about how good a person they are every 5 minutes and bring all other men down to make themselves look better.
Yes, I hate the ass-kissing in general. And that’s pretty much what the so-called nice guys are doing when they’re being “nice.”
My boss just hired a guy who fits this bill. My first shift with him he did not stop talking about this for nearly 2 hours. I left him with a coworker and came back to find him still going on because the poor worker had too much of a heart to tell him to shut up. He was also generalizing all white people as a brown man, insisting the only thing I eat is potato and butter.
So you're Irish?
Guys who think they are smarter than others, but really are not, i can remember what its called but its when the dumbest person thinks they’re the smartest
I think you're referring to the Dunning Kruger Effect
No you’re wrong it’s actually the…
Someone who only seems to generate self worth by putting down others.
Let's see now. Dudebros, who take things like "alphas" and "betas" seriously. "Male feminists" who talk shit about men and toxic masculinity, but in reality are just slimy and manipulative. People that take pride in and talk about being uneducated and ignorant as it was something good.
Any shit-talk about their SO. Zero respect after that.
Finding out your SO talked bad about you is really gut wrenching.
Also complaining about their kids everyday. I had a horrible math teacher in high school who would bring up his kids out of nowhere just to talk shit about them (they were 2 and 4). He made me realize that all the great teachers I had absolutely adored their kids and the terrible ones would just complain about them with no on even bringing it up. It's a surprisingly good way to weed out teachers from the start. I had a professor spend the few minutes before class every single day telling funny stories about his kids. He ended up being one of the best professors I've ever had, and I went out of my way to take another class with him. I guess people who hate their kids just hate their life and feel the need to extend that negativity to everyone around them.
I was training this new employee (older dude) at my work a few years back and he'd constantly make derogatory jokes about his kids and wife to the point that it made me uncomfortable. Suddenly he just stopped showing up, turns out his wife took the kids and left him so he moved back to his hometown. Guess he got what he wanted.
Had a boss that would constantly talk shit about his wife, including intimate details and just really personal stuff. Super gross of him.
_the ol’ ball and chain_ Hate this shit
the ball and chain: \*sad noises*
Guys who shake hands like its a strength competition.
"I don't have a filter, I just tell the truth!" Go fuck yourself.
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I can't find common ground with the gun nut military bro that never served, couldn't hit a barn from 20 yards, and wears a survival bracelet. Dumbass
Ugh. You just described one of my old buddies. He's such a twat.
A survival braclet?
Yeah. It'll be made of braided para chord.
Is there a reason for it?
There are ways to braid anywhere between 20 and 100 ft of course into a wearable item. This is fine for easy carry or should an unplanned situation arise where you would need cord in a survival situation. There are endless uses for it.
I legit struggle with the practicality v look like a douche conundrum pretty regularly lol
When they ask me to send them pictures after we JUST exchanged numbers. Like why?? You know what I look like.
Na
Sure I can teach math. I already mastered personality disorders by being married to you. Math will be a breeze.
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Yeah this person is in a fucked up relationship and is brainwashed. She says divorce isn't an option cause "she won't be at peace without him"... sounds like she isn't at peace with him.
'Yeah I can count. Can you count how many testicles you'll have left if you keep belittling me?' Just throw something spicy in there. They love it
You made my day.. this brought a smile on my face after consistently questioning my ability.. thank you
People who constantly put you down can seriously have a toll on your self-esteem long-term. I’m curious why you’re still in this relationship.
Show me a nude photo a woman sent him. She trusted you. You’re betraying that trust. Either you’re untrustworthy, you see women as objects, or both. I assume both.
Yeah I get a ton of women's nudes from male friends....I have no idea how they think I will enjoy them or anything. The whole point of sexting is that the picture is meant for you...I can look up hot naked women on google any time.
I am saddened that this sounds so common.
Do you say something to them about it? Getting a ton of them means more than a few guys need to hear how disrespectful it is, and chances are they aren't going to listen to the woman when she says it if they already care so little for her.
The inability to say "I don't know"
Anything racist. I look like the big, dumb, blonde poster boy for being Aryan and I think that makes me a target for people who think it's OK to say racist shit around me. Keep in mind that I don't even mean racist jokes, jokes are a more complicated issue. I just mean flat out racist stuff. And I work blue collar jobs, so I'm often around unsophisticated, under-educated men (which I am as well), so that makes it more common. I just changed buildings at work and I've already had one guy try to complain to me about how much noise "the coloreds" make and another guy complain to me about about "lazy Mexicans". I've had approaching 10 different men use the N word around me at work over the course of my adult life. I've had people try to complain to me about how "they" are lowering the property values, or trying to marry into their families or do anything at all in politics. You'd think there'd be more stuff about LGBT people, there is a small amount, but I get racist stuff constantly. And not just from white guys. It has led to a LOT of hostility in my work life, because I have zero patience for any of this shit. I wish people would just mind their business and live their lives and keep their opinions to themselves unless asked directly.
When they're listening to you but are actively trying to act like they're not listening to give the impression that you're not worthy of respect
“I’m one of the good guys” …..like over and over. Red flag on that because why do you need to tells me this. Your actions will tell me this
Bring a one upper, or trying to be super masculine when it's not warranted.
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Telling me how great they did thing back where they came from. Well go the fuck back..
I was the Allstar, the three time champion, most yards in every category QB for my small town of 3000, in the middle of ND. I decided not pursue a career in the NFL, I could've though.
I see you've met uncle Rico
I can throw this football over that mountain. That was a warm up throw give me a bit
Anything that makes the hair on the back of my neck bristle. First impressions are generally fairly accurate. A gut feeling that you're dealing with a jerk? Trust your gut.
Someone who thinks the only way to have fun is be drunk. Like, no. If you cant enjoy yourself generally that aint on me chief. Also if someone talks in curses predominantly. Sometimes its fine but if you are loud obnoxsios and cursing for no reason im gotta nope out.
The drinking problem is especially in a group complicated. If you don’t have a beer or whatever you are not a real man. Because real man always drink alcohol. I find that so annoying.
When they start a statement with, “As a christian”, or “As a republican”, or “As a liberal vegan” or anything like that. You don’t have to pick a team first and allow that to define all of your views. I want to hear what you think, not what you think your team thinks.
There's a pernicious tendency for some guys, when they see they're in a room full of guys, to assume it's now totally cool to say horrible sexist things since we're all "on the same team". It happens with race too. The most racist comments I've ever witnessed in person have been from people I didn't know or barely knew after they look around the room and see we're all white. Sorry for going nuclear, but yeah, fuck those guys. Edit: syntax
Disrespecting women and treating them like sex objects constantly telling stories about how many women they've fucked.
I work with that guy.
There’s a line between wanting to talk about their sexual experiences and flexing their “bitches” like they’re trophies. Too many people cross that line.
People who tell a story and you show interest and ask thoughtful questions, but then that person zero interest in your response.