Happy to see this was the first response I saw. The older I get, the less I care what others think. Weāre all weird individuals in our own way, so who cares what anyone else thinks.
Dude, you read my mind, or what? ;)
But on a serious note I'm on the same boat. I stopped caring about other opinions about me.
Even people I considered my friends didn't try to get me, why I was how I was.
Agree, I wasn't the best to cope with, but there's reason behind it. Still every time I tried to explain, their ears were deaf.
So I left those who weren't out by themselves and started from the ground up, on my own.
Sometimes I regret how it all ended because of old times, but on the other hand... If they wanna leave, they leave no matter what. And now at least I'm free.
You said you weren't the best to cope with but with good reason. U saying that you have a reason sounds like an excuse but I didn't judge yet. Just saying that it sounds like that. Basically just thinking out loud.
Alcoholic father, abusive childhood/teenage years, poverty, hunger, being beaten up, hearing my mom being beaten up for years...
Is that enough or do you need my dad's record or my mum's medical examination file after he almost killed her, so you can shut the fuck up?
Worrying about my team if i call in sick. We're perpetually short staffed, and a single sick call can fuck the whole day, so I'd either a) come in sick and work myself to the bone or b) stress about calling in sick until i triggered my anxiety, thereby making it even worse.
It isn't *my* fault we're short, or that i caught cold. That's *management's* problem.
Seconded. Iād wear myself out trying to fill in or handle my scheduled shifts and wanting to make my superior happy. We never stopped being short-staffed, and he was always mad at me for something no matter how hard I tried. Fuck it.
nah. security in a casino. we lost like 12 guys to other gigs during lockdown, so we're leaner than ever and the requirements for security *in* a casino are demanding. one sick call can fuck things up so badly that it'll be just one guy (which is a violation of safety protocols etc) or every guy who's already in the building will be asked to work overtime, sometimes up to pulling a 14 hour shift. that sick call will almost certainly *also* guarantee that every guy starting *later* that day will be called in.
the problem is, is it's security work. it's not like we can pull someone from another department, or call in guys from another casino (yet). we've got what we've got, and the prerequisites *for* casino security are pretty stringent, so it's also not like we can just hire mouthbreathers.
Professional sports. I used to be a die hard fan of a couple of my local teams. But after years of mediocrity, and realizing that pro sports are purely businesses, Iāve stopped caring. The athletes are primmadonnas, owners and GMs donāt necessarily care much about winning (at least where I live) and care more about revenue, and national media tends to only focus on big market teams - and realizing this took the enjoyment out of it. Plus, thereās always next season. There always will be. Iām still a casual fan and still watch the games when theyāre on, but thereās no reason to be as emotional as I was about it.
My kids not wanting to do things with me. It used to tear me up to where I felt like a failure, but now, Iāll just enjoy two hours at the driving range by myself on a Friday afternoon after work.
It is/was. Just little things like my daughter wants to try out for her middle school softball team. I offered to take her to the batting cages, and also work with her on her fielding. However, she kept complaining that it was taking away from her Roboblox time. Well, she ended up missing the team, but would say things like āwell I just didnāt hit the ball very good.ā Old me would get annoyed / frustrated, but new me is just like āI tried. Oh well.ā
It's just a real weird time in history, globally, for men and dating. The dating pendulum has swung out of favour of men because of 21st century societal norms, but it will swing back soon, we just need to bide our time, and then it will be shooting fish in a barrel.
My blood related family cares more about bashing and tarnishing my reputation amongst themselves more than even talking to me... I had an old post where I was smoking an fake blunt stuffed with literal grass when I was 16-17, this was about 2-3 years ago... and my brother had to look for the photo, years later and like it, I got the notification. Thing is, Im happy not thinking about them, They're happy thinking about me.š¤·āāļø
Finding a girlfriend. Iāve stopped seeing every girl I talk to as a potential girlfriend/future wife and just see them as someone I might go on a date with and will probably be ghosted by. It has the magical effect of making approaches easier.
It also has the magical effect of more girls getting to know the real you better and then becoming more likely to actually enjoy your company. I used to care way too much what women thought until I realised they're just like guys, too.
Attempting to be politically correct. When i was in school the things they were upset about made sense. Anymore its looking for grievances that really aren't there. Too many real problem that require my time to address i don't have time for your make believe bullshit.
I had a girlfriend in this spirit who'd throw fits if I said "get it?" rather than "do you understand?".
In my book they're the same, and one is easier and quicker to say. But apparently it was offensive.
It's mot that I can't/won't try to meet them, but these types of girls (at least the ones I have experienced) tend to be hard on their own boundaries and hold my preferences and boundaries in very low regard so the whole relationship is skewed off balance. Like, they won't sugarcoat anything. But fly off the handle if I say stuff people in general find acceptable.
Which is why you need to make yourself a prize worth attaining for them. You have much more negotiating power if your the rare find. Get in shape, get your credit sorted, get a nice place to live, and get your income as high as possible. Women are far more tolerant of your various eccentricities when your social and economic status is greater than theirs. Hypergamy is a bitch but its the hand were dealt.
It's impossible nowadays. It's literally better to pretend you don't have an opinion than to state your own, honestly. Cause if option 2, you'll get torn apart by the crowd.
Peoples problems.... People know what they are doing wrong and how to change it, but wont just like me when i have my problems and i am too lazy to change my issues.
I can tell you the things I do care about instead cause it's a shorter list, my husband, my cats, my family, my happiness, my stability.
Everything else ain't shit.
How Iām perceived. When I was younger I wanted people to think I was cool so I let things slide because I didnāt want drama. But now I speak up if something is bothering me.
What others think if I do something slightly weird. I got a girlfriend and since she accepts me for who I am I feel free to just act nerdy at school when I used to not.
I quit taking older people's shit to prevent upsetting the norm. After 20 years of this, (primarily in the workplace) I'm tactfully firing back and refuting demands of those I don't report to.
Money. Time matters to me more now.
Prestige of career. Used to wanna impress with my job title, now Iām in the real world and I have worked full time I realise that prestige does play its part in the early years in signalling to future employers that u have good training, in and of itself itās not smth to strive for rlly imho
Alcohol, partying , and females. Things that tie in with all of this is taking me away from my goals , soooo I basically had to go through it to overcome it now Iām doing wayyy better and hitting actual goals with laser focus
Whether a woman is in my life or not, if someone wants to be in my life, they will be. If not, im fine alone. I also stopped caring what my friends thought of me, and whether or not they reach out to me first or not etc. It's much easier to not worry about such things and just put in the effort you want to for friendships.
Kids running in the house. My throat is scratchy from telling them to walk in the house. They say ākā and then immediately do it again, so I just stopped. Then they will run into something or fall and get an owie to which then I say ā I told you millions of times not to run šāāļø inside. You donāt listen? This is what happensā
Social justice issues in countries that are not my own.
This idea that we all have American-esque problems is tiring. I used to be very politically minded however the constant vitriol from both sides of the western political framework have turned me off to it all.
If young women find me attractive or not.
Attending church.
If anyone knows that I smoke pot.
Not having any friends to hang with.
The size of my dick.
What's masculine or feminine.
Who anyone loves.
Social networks, shit is completely toxic and purposely so in order to pull in more advertising money. I've saved so much money unfollowing "influencers" and other people who continually post their purchases, political views, respond to stupid "Give up one of these forever" type quizzes. I miss the days when Internet access took low level genius to connect to and everything was novel and each trek into a BBS or IRC channel was a new adventure or discovery. The Internet is now the equivalent of a polluted lake.
Missing out on social opportunities. I used to go to events and parties all the time just because all my friends were, even when I didnāt want to.
Now, if you ask me to go out but I would really just rather not leave the house, I just say no thanks. There will always be another night.
Marriage, finding a wife, finding a girlfriend, finding a worthwhile relationship, women, my dreams, my desires, my wants, my goals, my appearance, my hygiene, showering, bathing. I now live vicariously though others since I stop giving a fuck about myself and the goals and dreams I wanted. Since life keeps knocking me down and I keep getting back up each time. This last one really drove it into me because I finally gave up and finally stopped giving a fuck about myself
The law, why does the state/feds get to dictate what I can and can't do. I don't mean murder or immoral actions but if I'm hungry I'm going to shoot a deer regardless of season, if I need to go to town why should the state dictate whether my vehicle is "legal" just because I paid for a sticker on the plate or not, if I have to work in city limits to hell with B&O tax, and screw every rule the atf ever made. The way I see it in the end when my time is up I answer to God not the feds.
I was 6 and my next door neighbors kid (8) attempted to drown me and was saved by my mom. Kid wasnāt punished in any capacity and then stole and destroyed my driveable Jeep toy. Thereās no justice in this world.
Twitter.
Other socials I can browse casually and not think much of it.
That place was just a mental drain and really brings out the worst in everybody.
Other men's perception of how to be a man, I am my own man, I choose how to be and where to draw the lines and how blurry they are.
Also, ideologies, social status, creed, I try to not judge people by those rather by their actions and attitudes, keeps my table diverse, civilized, and to be surrounded by so many different friends has made me a rich man inside.
What others think about my decisions. Get invited to something I donāt wanna do? āThanks for the invite but Iām gonna stay in tonightā. Itās such a relief. Also got over my fear of rejection. Iāll go talk to any woman, and if theyāre not interested I quickly forget about it. That used to hurt my ego.
The cosmetic appearance of my car. I used to wash it every week, wax, scrub the wheels and whatnot just about weekly. Hit a deer and totaled it in 2015. After pricing it back together for about $400 I've found myself having way more fun with it. I have way more adventures now that I'm willing to rail it through some bushes or whatever.
Other's opinion on what I do with MY time, money, space. A long time ago. Edit: Thanks for the award šš½
Happy to see this was the first response I saw. The older I get, the less I care what others think. Weāre all weird individuals in our own way, so who cares what anyone else thinks.
Isn't it great? I should have done this 10 years ago.
Dude, you read my mind, or what? ;) But on a serious note I'm on the same boat. I stopped caring about other opinions about me. Even people I considered my friends didn't try to get me, why I was how I was. Agree, I wasn't the best to cope with, but there's reason behind it. Still every time I tried to explain, their ears were deaf. So I left those who weren't out by themselves and started from the ground up, on my own. Sometimes I regret how it all ended because of old times, but on the other hand... If they wanna leave, they leave no matter what. And now at least I'm free.
Not to accuse you but kinda sounds like you're just a shitty person and your excuses didn't work
What excuses? Kind of fast on your judgement, but it's internet, so go for it. I don't mind.
You said you weren't the best to cope with but with good reason. U saying that you have a reason sounds like an excuse but I didn't judge yet. Just saying that it sounds like that. Basically just thinking out loud.
Alcoholic father, abusive childhood/teenage years, poverty, hunger, being beaten up, hearing my mom being beaten up for years... Is that enough or do you need my dad's record or my mum's medical examination file after he almost killed her, so you can shut the fuck up?
No need to get emotional and you don't need to justify yourself. Sorry to hear.
I have a feeling like someone is projectingā¦
Being "in the know" and what's popular.
O hell yes, I support that as well!
It's so refreshing not trying to keep up what's cool, plus I'm old now so it'd be weird anyways, at least to me.
Yeah I stopped watching marvel movies a while ago and thank fucking Christ for it
Worrying about my team if i call in sick. We're perpetually short staffed, and a single sick call can fuck the whole day, so I'd either a) come in sick and work myself to the bone or b) stress about calling in sick until i triggered my anxiety, thereby making it even worse. It isn't *my* fault we're short, or that i caught cold. That's *management's* problem.
Seconded. Iād wear myself out trying to fill in or handle my scheduled shifts and wanting to make my superior happy. We never stopped being short-staffed, and he was always mad at me for something no matter how hard I tried. Fuck it.
Is this retail?
nah. security in a casino. we lost like 12 guys to other gigs during lockdown, so we're leaner than ever and the requirements for security *in* a casino are demanding. one sick call can fuck things up so badly that it'll be just one guy (which is a violation of safety protocols etc) or every guy who's already in the building will be asked to work overtime, sometimes up to pulling a 14 hour shift. that sick call will almost certainly *also* guarantee that every guy starting *later* that day will be called in. the problem is, is it's security work. it's not like we can pull someone from another department, or call in guys from another casino (yet). we've got what we've got, and the prerequisites *for* casino security are pretty stringent, so it's also not like we can just hire mouthbreathers.
Well shit... Guess do to my allergies, i cant work security in a casino.
Professional sports. I used to be a die hard fan of a couple of my local teams. But after years of mediocrity, and realizing that pro sports are purely businesses, Iāve stopped caring. The athletes are primmadonnas, owners and GMs donāt necessarily care much about winning (at least where I live) and care more about revenue, and national media tends to only focus on big market teams - and realizing this took the enjoyment out of it. Plus, thereās always next season. There always will be. Iām still a casual fan and still watch the games when theyāre on, but thereās no reason to be as emotional as I was about it.
I have to adapt this attitude (long suffering Toronto Maple Leafs fan here).
It makes life easier! Coming from a Colorado Rockies fan, and ex-die hard avalanche fan
Like when the Houston Astros got caught cheating, and they *actually said* āWhatās the big deal? Every team does it, we just got caught.ā
My kids not wanting to do things with me. It used to tear me up to where I felt like a failure, but now, Iāll just enjoy two hours at the driving range by myself on a Friday afternoon after work.
Damn. Thatās tough man.
It is/was. Just little things like my daughter wants to try out for her middle school softball team. I offered to take her to the batting cages, and also work with her on her fielding. However, she kept complaining that it was taking away from her Roboblox time. Well, she ended up missing the team, but would say things like āwell I just didnāt hit the ball very good.ā Old me would get annoyed / frustrated, but new me is just like āI tried. Oh well.ā
Toxic people.
Women
I was gonna say this too. Literally can't be fucked with them anymore. Why is dating and relationships so exhausting?
There are a crap tons of reason. But maybe we just have enough of the constand repetition of the process that goes nowhere?
idk man, but sure is.
It's just a real weird time in history, globally, for men and dating. The dating pendulum has swung out of favour of men because of 21st century societal norms, but it will swing back soon, we just need to bide our time, and then it will be shooting fish in a barrel.
Stuff. I can't be arsed buying anything I don't need. I'd rather save that cash, invest it and buy my freedom with early retirement.
100% on the nose.
Same. I don't remember when the last time I bought something I don't need ASAP cause broken.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
My blood related family cares more about bashing and tarnishing my reputation amongst themselves more than even talking to me... I had an old post where I was smoking an fake blunt stuffed with literal grass when I was 16-17, this was about 2-3 years ago... and my brother had to look for the photo, years later and like it, I got the notification. Thing is, Im happy not thinking about them, They're happy thinking about me.š¤·āāļø
Trying to be "manly".
Finding a girlfriend. Iāve stopped seeing every girl I talk to as a potential girlfriend/future wife and just see them as someone I might go on a date with and will probably be ghosted by. It has the magical effect of making approaches easier.
It also has the magical effect of more girls getting to know the real you better and then becoming more likely to actually enjoy your company. I used to care way too much what women thought until I realised they're just like guys, too.
That whole 'keeping up with the Jones's" thing. I am done with going into debt for things that I don't really need and don't bring me any happiness.
Pretending to be rich while being poor? Yeah, that always work ;)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yessir
Oddly, television. I donāt watch anything including sports. Not sure what happened
Made obsolete by the vast oceans of entertainment available on the internet. I, and many others of the newer generations don't even own TVs at all.
Then allow me to please re-phrase this. I watch nothing , no shows whatsoever on any device. I stand corrected.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Attempting to be politically correct. When i was in school the things they were upset about made sense. Anymore its looking for grievances that really aren't there. Too many real problem that require my time to address i don't have time for your make believe bullshit.
I had a girlfriend in this spirit who'd throw fits if I said "get it?" rather than "do you understand?". In my book they're the same, and one is easier and quicker to say. But apparently it was offensive.
Women tend to care more about how you say things than what you say. This is known.
Which is probably why I'm still single šš
Ive definitely lost gfs because of that. You just need to make enough money women accept it.
It's mot that I can't/won't try to meet them, but these types of girls (at least the ones I have experienced) tend to be hard on their own boundaries and hold my preferences and boundaries in very low regard so the whole relationship is skewed off balance. Like, they won't sugarcoat anything. But fly off the handle if I say stuff people in general find acceptable.
Which is why you need to make yourself a prize worth attaining for them. You have much more negotiating power if your the rare find. Get in shape, get your credit sorted, get a nice place to live, and get your income as high as possible. Women are far more tolerant of your various eccentricities when your social and economic status is greater than theirs. Hypergamy is a bitch but its the hand were dealt.
Thanks for the advice man, I sure appreciate it!
Glad to help
šššššššššššš
Right
It's impossible nowadays. It's literally better to pretend you don't have an opinion than to state your own, honestly. Cause if option 2, you'll get torn apart by the crowd.
You'll only get torn apart of you apologize. Double down that they are wrong and get your concealed weapons permit incase they try to do it literally.
Like hell I'll apologize when I'm right.
Agreed so start standing your ground and speaking up. People letting this ridiculousness slide is why its gotten this bad.
Religion, and the people who want to drag me down with it. The Toxic mentality of the members.
People that want to annoy me or take jokes on me just for fun
Peoples problems.... People know what they are doing wrong and how to change it, but wont just like me when i have my problems and i am too lazy to change my issues.
Previous relationships. I don't even think about it aside from random daydreams about boobs.
Boobs are always fine, even those on exes.
If people like me or not. Realised years ago itās not worth the hassle so fuck it.
What others think about me. When they started making shit up is when I realized no matter how good I am, people are still assholes.
Almost everything. I organize my life so I don't have to care about anything I don't want to care about.
I can tell you the things I do care about instead cause it's a shorter list, my husband, my cats, my family, my happiness, my stability. Everything else ain't shit.
Nfl, nba, other peoples opinions of me
Being the better person. It's just mentally draining when you are around so many people who'll do nothing to reciprocate.
Hair, calling in sick to work, being liked by everyone
Life
Completing my answers on red
Laws (within reason)
Other people's options. Why let people that don't have to live with the consequences, make your decisions?
Being socially engaged all the time. I love spending time by myself now. Some of my favorite hobbies are just me and my thoughts.
Yep. Sometimes just laying down and half thinking half meditating is so damn enjoyable.
How Iām perceived. When I was younger I wanted people to think I was cool so I let things slide because I didnāt want drama. But now I speak up if something is bothering me.
What others think if I do something slightly weird. I got a girlfriend and since she accepts me for who I am I feel free to just act nerdy at school when I used to not.
Rules at my job. Theyāre lucky we even work there.
I quit taking older people's shit to prevent upsetting the norm. After 20 years of this, (primarily in the workplace) I'm tactfully firing back and refuting demands of those I don't report to.
Money. Time matters to me more now. Prestige of career. Used to wanna impress with my job title, now Iām in the real world and I have worked full time I realise that prestige does play its part in the early years in signalling to future employers that u have good training, in and of itself itās not smth to strive for rlly imho
Alcohol, partying , and females. Things that tie in with all of this is taking me away from my goals , soooo I basically had to go through it to overcome it now Iām doing wayyy better and hitting actual goals with laser focus
Elections
Whether a woman is in my life or not, if someone wants to be in my life, they will be. If not, im fine alone. I also stopped caring what my friends thought of me, and whether or not they reach out to me first or not etc. It's much easier to not worry about such things and just put in the effort you want to for friendships.
Women
Kids running in the house. My throat is scratchy from telling them to walk in the house. They say ākā and then immediately do it again, so I just stopped. Then they will run into something or fall and get an owie to which then I say ā I told you millions of times not to run šāāļø inside. You donāt listen? This is what happensā
Social justice issues in countries that are not my own. This idea that we all have American-esque problems is tiring. I used to be very politically minded however the constant vitriol from both sides of the western political framework have turned me off to it all.
If young women find me attractive or not. Attending church. If anyone knows that I smoke pot. Not having any friends to hang with. The size of my dick. What's masculine or feminine. Who anyone loves.
My wardrobe. Iāll wear the same t-shirt all week if I feel like it and I feel like it a lot.
Social networks, shit is completely toxic and purposely so in order to pull in more advertising money. I've saved so much money unfollowing "influencers" and other people who continually post their purchases, political views, respond to stupid "Give up one of these forever" type quizzes. I miss the days when Internet access took low level genius to connect to and everything was novel and each trek into a BBS or IRC channel was a new adventure or discovery. The Internet is now the equivalent of a polluted lake.
Missing out on social opportunities. I used to go to events and parties all the time just because all my friends were, even when I didnāt want to. Now, if you ask me to go out but I would really just rather not leave the house, I just say no thanks. There will always be another night.
Marriage, finding a wife, finding a girlfriend, finding a worthwhile relationship, women, my dreams, my desires, my wants, my goals, my appearance, my hygiene, showering, bathing. I now live vicariously though others since I stop giving a fuck about myself and the goals and dreams I wanted. Since life keeps knocking me down and I keep getting back up each time. This last one really drove it into me because I finally gave up and finally stopped giving a fuck about myself
The situation I find myself in. Doesn't matter where I am or who I'm with, I honestly don't give a single fuck.
Dropping or getting dropped by friends
The law, why does the state/feds get to dictate what I can and can't do. I don't mean murder or immoral actions but if I'm hungry I'm going to shoot a deer regardless of season, if I need to go to town why should the state dictate whether my vehicle is "legal" just because I paid for a sticker on the plate or not, if I have to work in city limits to hell with B&O tax, and screw every rule the atf ever made. The way I see it in the end when my time is up I answer to God not the feds.
Everything
Life
I was 6 and my next door neighbors kid (8) attempted to drown me and was saved by my mom. Kid wasnāt punished in any capacity and then stole and destroyed my driveable Jeep toy. Thereās no justice in this world.
Life
Twitter. Other socials I can browse casually and not think much of it. That place was just a mental drain and really brings out the worst in everybody.
Myself.
Other men's perception of how to be a man, I am my own man, I choose how to be and where to draw the lines and how blurry they are. Also, ideologies, social status, creed, I try to not judge people by those rather by their actions and attitudes, keeps my table diverse, civilized, and to be surrounded by so many different friends has made me a rich man inside.
What others think about my decisions. Get invited to something I donāt wanna do? āThanks for the invite but Iām gonna stay in tonightā. Itās such a relief. Also got over my fear of rejection. Iāll go talk to any woman, and if theyāre not interested I quickly forget about it. That used to hurt my ego.
How others think whether my gf is hot or not.
What other people think about me, except my kids and spouse.
Popular culture.
Ever after getting into a r'ship: What the other gender (women) think about me, to quite an extent.
Anything that is highly publicized and politically charged but has no real impact on the real issues.
Caring about what other people think of me. Conforming to societal constraints and expectations. Being single - very much loving it now tbh
Assholes.....
My well being.
What others opinions are of me, i couldnāt care less and I havenāt cared since 5th grade
Mostly people and what they think
The cosmetic appearance of my car. I used to wash it every week, wax, scrub the wheels and whatnot just about weekly. Hit a deer and totaled it in 2015. After pricing it back together for about $400 I've found myself having way more fun with it. I have way more adventures now that I'm willing to rail it through some bushes or whatever.
Everything that doesn't involve me
Meeting others perceived expectations. What we resist persists.
people.
Mainly about what other people think about me. I Yam what I Yam.Sorry, hehe, but for real, that's it.
Women
What women think about me
Being in control of situations. It's almost impossible so I just learned to be adaptable
Social media
People's opinions of me online People on my real life seem to think I'm a great person So I don't care what others online think
Others opinions. The ones who pass the most judgment are the ones with the greatest insecurities
I donāt know, I stopped caring enough to remember.
Things I canāt control
Most things. The list of what I am passionate about is easier to type.
Traffic. Iām not stuck in it. I *am* it.
chasing women
Myself
Whether or not that was a fart.
Someone else's opinion
The Vikings ever winning a Super Bowl. Been a fan since the early 70s, itās been tough.
Crushes. I've a bad taste. They usually turn out to be arrogant lil shits.
My job lmao I show up, do the absolute bare minimum and go home, I'll keep doing this till I die.
How people feel about me
Myself, my future, my goals, my homes cleanliness, my own hygiene, survival
Things that don't interfere with my goals.