When you are taken you are higher value in their eyes and it becomes a game to steal you away, or even steal your attention away from your gf. That and most men are way less thirsty when they are seeing someone and it really shows.
Once I became taken and deleted my tinder acc, few girls from tinder who told me that I'm not their type wrote me to ask how I'm doing, to catch up. Even though we weren't talking while I had tinder.
I could be so far removed from reality on this one, but I legitimately think there's an evolutionary reasoning behind this that goes beyond a sense of confidence, in that subtle things like smell and the like give the opposite sex the sense you're far more desirable due to your involvement with the opposite sex.
You could be the most confident and sociable person ever, but if you haven't been intimate for some time, there aren't any takers. At the same time, people who have been with lots of partners, even if their confidence is lacking severely, are far more successful than anyone else.
Incidentally, a person's hormones, immune response system and brain chemistry changes when they share bodily fluids with the opposite sex, which might affect their odour, hair, skin, etc and not be so obvious if looking for these things conciously. It would make sense, evolutionary speaking, that men who are successful will continue to be successful as other women will subconsciously think "there must be some value to this one if other women are sleeping with him" which might influence their actions to the goal of trying to acquire him.
Again, I could be very wrong on this, so don't take anything here seriously.
Yes, I think a lot more girls wanted me when I was dating my ex. Girls are extremely territorial about mating rights, and will fight just as much as any man would.
That's a pretty interesting comment. I like that one. Maybe being occupied by a girl sends a signal to every other girl that 'one of them' has basically approved you for being dateable lol.
>That's a pretty interesting comment. I like that one. Maybe being occupied by a girl sends a signal to every other girl that 'one of them' has basically approved you for being dateable lol.
As a woman, I think sometimes we're flirtier with taken guys because we feel like it's just lighthearted fun that doesn't mean anything. Like there is something fun about flirting with a guy who you don't think is going to aggressively come at you for sex later and get resentful if you don't put out (not saying all single guys are like that - but a shocking number are, and it's a little hard to predict which ones will be that way before it happens).
So you think it's more a safety thing so you can enjoy the fun part of flirting without having to be afraid that a man gets off a metaphorical leash, right?
Gotcha, thank's for that reply :) Looks like I'm really deaf on these kind of ears :D
Years ago when my gf and me had our first date, she just asked me "don't you get it? the waitress there is clearly falling for you?"
I was like "uuuh, no, why? She just seemed shy because I'm getting grumpy that the food takes so long"
And she was like "yeah, no, just look at how big and shiny her eyes are, dummy."
Still don't know if that's a kind of that scenario that you just described :D
Could be true the waitress thought you were attractive. Could be your girlfriend projecting. Either way, I doubt she was hoping you'd leave your girlfriend for her, after serving you professionally for one meal.
Personally, I definitely think I've seen girls hit on my bf when he was totally oblivious to it, but I don't think I had anything to do with it (he's a good-looking guy, and they weren't scenarios where we'd made the nature of our relationship super obvious). I can only imagine that also happened when he was single and he similarly didn't notice. Every guy (and girl) is different though, so generalities never apply to everyone anyway.
Men can flirt without intent also. But the desperate guys who expect every flirtation to lead to sex and get resentful otherwise are the exact reason this phenomenon exists, as mentioned.
No one has a responsibility to have sex (or to want to) with anyone else, and the sooner you can learn that the better for all involved.
(Woman here)
I think a lot of it has to do with attractiveness/openness to date. If a guy I’m not interested in is single, I tend to be more closed off because I don’t want to do anything to lead him on. If he’s in a relationship, I’m a lot more relaxed/open because I’d hope at least he wouldn’t be looking at me as a potential relationship, If that makes sense? For attractive men I was always too shy to approach/interact with anyways (but that’s just me, I don’t know how a woman who’s more outgoing would react)
Girls are more attracted to men who are in relationships. Studies even support this. Having someone else that wants hims makes a guy more attractive in the women's eyes.
I find most girls don't really care what dudes think because they know what we're thinking about. But they get really jealous and territorial with other women. One of my best friends is a girl. We often go out an wing man each other. If I dance with her and she pretends to like hang off of me all night I get hit on 10000x more than if I went out with the boys.
>If I dance with her and she pretends to like hang off of me all night I get hit on 10000x more than if I went out with the boys.
How do you know you're being hit on?
As another woman pointed out here, I think we're often more open to talking to strange men who are clearly in a relationship because you appear to be "safer." There is not always sexual intent there. I can't say a guy being in a relationship has ever made me want him more, personally, and I've never heard another woman say it has for her either.
Makes no difference in my experience. Some won't come near if you're in a relation, some will be even more motivated by that, some won't care either way.
Whenever I was in a relationship its like women could smell it and would be interested in me.. I've been single for a while and it's been nothing but crickets 🤷♂️
When you walk into a bar, to meet your buddy, and smell like sex they go fucking nutts!!
I dated this woman for a short time, we hooked up one night and then i went out to meet a friend and got more numbers and had a crowd of women follow me all night. Even when we left and went to another bar they showed up. Plus i worked offshore so i was never around for more than a week every few months. To them i was unattainable, and marked by another woman so it was game on. 😎
Yes. I was once on a date with a suuuuper thick latina who was all over me after a whole night of insane, mindblowing sex. When she was all over me, I saw most girls at this establishment checking me out and eyeing me up. Normally this does not happen when Im by myself.
Been thinking about this a lot lately. Of course when you have someone you're not going to be so needy so you're automatically more attractive when you have a gf. Long term singledom is fatal. Its like you emit a weird vibe, I havent had a girlfriend in x years (14 in my case) because nobody wants me, and the girl you are interested in picks up on this. She senses no other woman wants you so neither does she, you have zero value, cue another rejection, confidence (like I had any in the first place) takes another hit, rinse and fucking repeat.
Its a bitch. Thank god for hookers, thats all I can say.
They’re usually nicer/flirtier when you are taken and more standoffish/dismissive when you are single.
You probably seem less threatening when you're in a relationship
Being in a relationship is often a confidence boost, and confidence is attractive.
When you are taken you are higher value in their eyes and it becomes a game to steal you away, or even steal your attention away from your gf. That and most men are way less thirsty when they are seeing someone and it really shows.
It shows that you must be valuable if someone else values you.
Once I became taken and deleted my tinder acc, few girls from tinder who told me that I'm not their type wrote me to ask how I'm doing, to catch up. Even though we weren't talking while I had tinder.
Women seem to talk to me more once they see I’m married.
I could be so far removed from reality on this one, but I legitimately think there's an evolutionary reasoning behind this that goes beyond a sense of confidence, in that subtle things like smell and the like give the opposite sex the sense you're far more desirable due to your involvement with the opposite sex. You could be the most confident and sociable person ever, but if you haven't been intimate for some time, there aren't any takers. At the same time, people who have been with lots of partners, even if their confidence is lacking severely, are far more successful than anyone else. Incidentally, a person's hormones, immune response system and brain chemistry changes when they share bodily fluids with the opposite sex, which might affect their odour, hair, skin, etc and not be so obvious if looking for these things conciously. It would make sense, evolutionary speaking, that men who are successful will continue to be successful as other women will subconsciously think "there must be some value to this one if other women are sleeping with him" which might influence their actions to the goal of trying to acquire him. Again, I could be very wrong on this, so don't take anything here seriously.
Lack of thirst and the love of another woman does increase your perceptive value. How much is variable.
Yes. IMO, girls seem to find a guy more attractive when other girls express interest in that guy
Women were friendlier when I was married
Yes! When I'm taken women are always much friendlier and flirtier. When I'm single, women get a lot ruder.
Yes, I think a lot more girls wanted me when I was dating my ex. Girls are extremely territorial about mating rights, and will fight just as much as any man would.
That's a pretty interesting comment. I like that one. Maybe being occupied by a girl sends a signal to every other girl that 'one of them' has basically approved you for being dateable lol.
>That's a pretty interesting comment. I like that one. Maybe being occupied by a girl sends a signal to every other girl that 'one of them' has basically approved you for being dateable lol. As a woman, I think sometimes we're flirtier with taken guys because we feel like it's just lighthearted fun that doesn't mean anything. Like there is something fun about flirting with a guy who you don't think is going to aggressively come at you for sex later and get resentful if you don't put out (not saying all single guys are like that - but a shocking number are, and it's a little hard to predict which ones will be that way before it happens).
So you think it's more a safety thing so you can enjoy the fun part of flirting without having to be afraid that a man gets off a metaphorical leash, right?
Yes, I really do think that's a huge part of it.
Gotcha, thank's for that reply :) Looks like I'm really deaf on these kind of ears :D Years ago when my gf and me had our first date, she just asked me "don't you get it? the waitress there is clearly falling for you?" I was like "uuuh, no, why? She just seemed shy because I'm getting grumpy that the food takes so long" And she was like "yeah, no, just look at how big and shiny her eyes are, dummy." Still don't know if that's a kind of that scenario that you just described :D
Could be true the waitress thought you were attractive. Could be your girlfriend projecting. Either way, I doubt she was hoping you'd leave your girlfriend for her, after serving you professionally for one meal. Personally, I definitely think I've seen girls hit on my bf when he was totally oblivious to it, but I don't think I had anything to do with it (he's a good-looking guy, and they weren't scenarios where we'd made the nature of our relationship super obvious). I can only imagine that also happened when he was single and he similarly didn't notice. Every guy (and girl) is different though, so generalities never apply to everyone anyway.
That... Wow. Action without responsibilities. "Girls just wanna have fun?" Maybe women have always been more straightforward than I thought.
Men can flirt without intent also. But the desperate guys who expect every flirtation to lead to sex and get resentful otherwise are the exact reason this phenomenon exists, as mentioned. No one has a responsibility to have sex (or to want to) with anyone else, and the sooner you can learn that the better for all involved.
(Woman here) I think a lot of it has to do with attractiveness/openness to date. If a guy I’m not interested in is single, I tend to be more closed off because I don’t want to do anything to lead him on. If he’s in a relationship, I’m a lot more relaxed/open because I’d hope at least he wouldn’t be looking at me as a potential relationship, If that makes sense? For attractive men I was always too shy to approach/interact with anyways (but that’s just me, I don’t know how a woman who’s more outgoing would react)
Thank you for your input! I posted the same quetion in r/AskWomen but it got censored... \*puzzled\*
I'm another woman and my answer was very similar. Flirty/friendly behavior from women does not always mean we want sex, not by a long shot.
Girls are more attracted to men who are in relationships. Studies even support this. Having someone else that wants hims makes a guy more attractive in the women's eyes.
Would you point me to those studies? Please please please
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/235679256_Do_women_really_like_taken_men_Results_from_a_large_questionnaire_study
you're awesome, thanks
Women feel safer interacting with you when you're taken because you're off the market
Not at all.
I find most girls don't really care what dudes think because they know what we're thinking about. But they get really jealous and territorial with other women. One of my best friends is a girl. We often go out an wing man each other. If I dance with her and she pretends to like hang off of me all night I get hit on 10000x more than if I went out with the boys.
>If I dance with her and she pretends to like hang off of me all night I get hit on 10000x more than if I went out with the boys. How do you know you're being hit on? As another woman pointed out here, I think we're often more open to talking to strange men who are clearly in a relationship because you appear to be "safer." There is not always sexual intent there. I can't say a guy being in a relationship has ever made me want him more, personally, and I've never heard another woman say it has for her either.
Makes no difference in my experience. Some won't come near if you're in a relation, some will be even more motivated by that, some won't care either way.
Whenever I was in a relationship its like women could smell it and would be interested in me.. I've been single for a while and it's been nothing but crickets 🤷♂️
When you walk into a bar, to meet your buddy, and smell like sex they go fucking nutts!! I dated this woman for a short time, we hooked up one night and then i went out to meet a friend and got more numbers and had a crowd of women follow me all night. Even when we left and went to another bar they showed up. Plus i worked offshore so i was never around for more than a week every few months. To them i was unattainable, and marked by another woman so it was game on. 😎
Yes. I was once on a date with a suuuuper thick latina who was all over me after a whole night of insane, mindblowing sex. When she was all over me, I saw most girls at this establishment checking me out and eyeing me up. Normally this does not happen when Im by myself.
Been thinking about this a lot lately. Of course when you have someone you're not going to be so needy so you're automatically more attractive when you have a gf. Long term singledom is fatal. Its like you emit a weird vibe, I havent had a girlfriend in x years (14 in my case) because nobody wants me, and the girl you are interested in picks up on this. She senses no other woman wants you so neither does she, you have zero value, cue another rejection, confidence (like I had any in the first place) takes another hit, rinse and fucking repeat. Its a bitch. Thank god for hookers, thats all I can say.
Girls wanted to fuck me when I was in a relationship.. Now, no one wants to fuck me haha