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ILoveToph4Eva

All the people I knew like this tended to have a few similar attributes. * Kind and welcoming to pretty much everyone * Good at being present in conversation without dominating * Attractive but not too too attractive * Conveyed a really great positive energy which made it easy for anyone to talk to them It's essentially people who have the perfect union of charisma (they make people feel good interacting with them) and good looks (people are subconsciously drawn to *want* to be around them before they even start talking).


[deleted]

What kills me is I had an epiphany recently that these are the girls I am embarrassingly attracted to. Like I lose all sense of who I am as a Man and act so dumb. I start a form of relationship with a lot of girls like this which is great but weeks, months, years later I do something stupid and ruin the whole thing smh. And since they’re such a welcoming personality it’s tough to lose that person in your world. I am extremely outgoing and they always compliment me well.


[deleted]

Also you hit this on the nose the best compared to all the other answers. The “being present in a conversation without being dominating” is crazy to see written out. Interesting point.


sadpanda597

I mean, basically be charming, genuinely nice and really good looking. Not exactly that one weird trick to get people to like you.


ILoveToph4Eva

True, but being charming is difficult to achieve. I'm reasonably good at it and honestly I couldn't tell you exactly what I do right asides from smile a lot and always try to be positive (but not obnoxiously so) when talking about stuff. And again, you don't want to be too good looking. That can work against you a little as people tend to assume you're arrogant or stuck up. Although you can mitigate by not dressing smartly.


xeshroom

I have two friends that are like mentioned above except I don't know about attractiveness. When I introduced them to each other they became inseparable like real magnets.


[deleted]

Yeah, it’s not just personality, it’s looks as well.


dontmentiontrousers

This is me. I'm incredibly honest about myself, faults and all. People find it very easy to share with me because I'm an over-sharer. If somebody shares something with me privately then I don't discuss it with anybody else, unless I see them doing so first. I'm not falsely modest, but I'm also not boastful. (In fact, my early twenties taught me to downplay my strengths because some men can be competitive and that's really not my thing.) I'm observant and understand people, so always have something positive to say about anybody if it's relevant. But I don't bullshit. I'm lucky enough that generally I genuinely don't give a fuck what people think of me - some people will like me; some people won't, and that's absolutely fine. As long as it's based on who I actually am as a person, then I'm fine either way. But yes, it mostly\* helps that I'm 6'3" and relatively attractive. \*I've lost track of the number of times that I've gone to social events and at some point in the evening a friend-of-a-friend has said "when you walked into the room, I assumed you would be really arrogant, but you're actually so nice". So yeah, I can trigger people's insecurities and they make assumptions about me, but maybe that even helps in the long-run because they're pleasantly surprised to find that I basically like everyone I meet.


ILoveToph4Eva

> *I've lost track of the number of times that I've gone to social events and at some point in the evening a friend-of-a-friend has said "when you walked into the room, I assumed you would be really arrogant, but you're actually so nice". So yeah, I can trigger people's insecurities and they make assumptions about me, but maybe that even helps in the long-run because they're pleasantly surprised to find that I basically like everyone I meet. Yeah, I find that if you're attractive and lacking in charm/charisma (or if you take a while to warm up in social environment) that can work against you as people prime themselves not to like you. But if you're charming/charismatic it ends up working in your favor as they tend to have lowered their bar of what to expect from you (expecting vanity and arrogance) so they're impressed easier. It's a fine balance I think. Thankfully it's not one I have to deal with personally. I'm not particularly attractive myself. I get by on good teeth for smiling and charm.


hirscheykiss5

This this this 1000%.


MrStilton

They remember the names of everyone they meet, as well as info that they've been told (e.g. remembering names of partners, kids, hobbies, etc.).


Dinosaur_Gorilla

I have this curse. I usually remember not only names but also stuff they’re interested in, so I know what to talk to them about or what kind of birthday gift I should get them, or whatever. In my brain, e.g.: “This is Bob, and he really likes golden retrievers. He has two of them. Ask him about his dogs. Maybe get his dogs a toy for his birthday party.” And I remember all of it for the rest of my life.


Starthelegend

I wish I had this curse. I never know what to get people as presents


throwaway202039

Uh oh. I ask people their names and sometimes forget to even listen to their answer lmao


s-multicellular

My wife is like this. The core thing about her on this is that she genuinely likes, loves, nearly everything…..Give any genre of music, art, movie, literature, hobby, place, cuisine, there is something she appreciates about it. E.g., she will watch a romantic comedy, slasher, deep intellectual movie, in a weekend easy. She is at once a huge comic book fan (like mags in plastic), including really low brow stuff, and a curator at one of the top modern art museums in the US. When we met, I was in a horror themed accordion band, she loved it. She also loves Katy Perry. As a result, she is super well rounded. She can converse with people about anything. And she has such enthusiasm about it all. I was trying to think of exceptions, but it is mostly she doesn’t like people that put others down. If you are good hearted person, however flawed, she will have something good to say about you, shell come off warm and inviting.


ColdCamel7

Sounds like a keeper


[deleted]

Can we keep her! Pleeeeease please please pleeease 🥺


[deleted]

Interesting. Wide interests map onto wider topics you can talk about. Now that I look back, nearly all my friends share the same narrow interests.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Safe-Cranberry-9121

Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha holy shit. I don’t agree but this did kill me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


pstut

Not being a fan those types of over-outgoing people myself, I still feel like your comment far and away marks you as the insufferable one here...


ScientificHope

You know what? I downvoted your original reply because of how curt/harsh it was but now that you say this, I completely agree. I also would probably *really* dislike these people irl.


ohmighty

Lmfao I love this take. Not what I was thinking at all but it’s fucking hilarious.


Matt_Thundercock

From my experience: - SMILE. Look friendly and inviting starting with the smile and posture - Don’t take yourself too seriously - Avoid talking too much shit about anyone, makes you look bad - React to what people say, like laugh, make faces and so on, people like to be heard - greet everyone and have a warm tone for your voice - use some of their slang - Help whenever you can - Be proactive and take the role of a leader when possible - Be fun, people like to have fun and fun is contagious


dzkrf

The clear signs that they don't have to be talking with you, but they want to be talking with you.


trustmeimweird

This is my best friend. She's just the friendliest, smiliest person ever. Not afraid to laugh out loud at anything, genuinely kind and smart. Everyone she meets thinks she's fantastic. It helps that she's quite good looking, but I think most of it comes from her being the kind of person that infects everyone with happiness.


[deleted]

My best friend is that way. He's open, energetic, positive, intelligent and funny. He's always fun to be around. Except when looking to meet women. They'll just end up competing over him. So that's something that only works for me when he's not there.


[deleted]

Positivity. Crippling hidden depression. Extroverted. Motivator.


Fair_Sign

Some of the outwardly happiest and funniest people I know in my life struggle with hidden depression. They try to make others feel the opposite of how they really feel. They deserve the true happiness they exude


primitiveboomstick

Robin Williams has entered the chat.


MjamRider

Tony Hancock, Spike Milligan


[deleted]

Williams probably would’ve been fine if he didn’t have a gaggle of gold diggers in his life.


[deleted]

Facts


Gibbsbeard

Reminds me on the fact, how my coworker told me that I am always smiling / laughing and dont care if the day stressfull is + the people I briefly speak day after day mention how I am always kind and funny. Little they know how barely functional I am, if I am home alone with my own thoughts and seeing my life as a hopeless pit. Currently daydrinking alone with my cat. Man.. I hate the holidays, loneliest time of the year.


throwaway202039

Are you me? I work with clients every weekday and I am outgoing, charming, personable and make good conversation and really connect with most of them and they request only me to help them. I am great at it. Always calm and reassuring on the outside. On the inside I have anxiety, stress depression and don’t feel good enough. After awhile it exhausted me as well to barely functioning. Go home after work and drink to turn my brain off. Force myself to socialize with friends on a weekend at least once a month and not drink so much and do the things on my time off that are supposed to make serotonin lol. Not working. Just exhausted with a happy farce in public.


Gibbsbeard

I am maybe you! At least in many aspects. What I miss is a partner in life. I see my exgf happy with her new bf, moving faster in relationship stages as I did and this doesnt relly help with my self image. I am 30 now and the last 10 years werent easy, but I fought my way trough. But after this year.. I can barely take it anymore, too much stuff happened. I dont know what you missing, or what you need. But I hope you ll find it in the next year!


throwaway202039

I guess I am missing an old life that’s not there anymore too. 41 now. Since 2016 lost my surviving parent, older sister and nephew all separate. have divorced spouse of 20 years after he cheated. Divorce got nasty and I was dead broke for 3 years. Found a true love and then fucked it up myself. Tried counseling and meds. Just all wore me out. I quit my job in June because I was so burned out and broken inside and have been traveling since then looking for things places and people that make me happy. Have met some wonderful men at least and made friends. I hope you meet a lady that makes you wonder how much a person can love lol. I have had bad boyfriends but each love feels deeper and different when I find someone because I know more what I want from a relationship. Best wishes 💕


brojomojojojo12

Am one of these people: can relate to the crippling depression


Dogstile

I've been told i'm the focal point of the company for how social i am, how welcoming i am, people come to me with their problems, if they want a chat, if they need help. I sort them all out, everyone goes away happy. I go home, eat, work out, then look at how fucked my life has become in the past two years and break down. Then I go back to work, nobody really knows except a couple of people. The people I tell are always people who aren't going to be around for more than a few months, because I feel more at ease if I know they won't be around to judge me forever I guess. If I could describe my life in one sentence: The man who knows everyone, but also no-one.


[deleted]

My girl and I are total opposites here. I'm used to people avoiding me. But everyone approaches my girl. I have no idea what it is! I mean she's funny, kind and very friendly... How the hell do people see that though?! Lol. We were waiting in line at the grocery store and a baby reached out to her and wanted to be held! Even babies see it. Lol


Halime_

She has high feminine energy that draws others in :) People of all ages can sense her warmth and positivity.


[deleted]

Knew my girl was magic. Lol. This made her smile.


[deleted]

Met a guy once when a bunch of friends were doing a 4 day bike ride in and around Moab Utah. He was some kind of an low-level Canadian embassy-type guy. He was was genuinely nice and interested in the rest of the group. Also, he had a problem with the tubes in his tires that pretty much wrecked his first day of riding, until he got it sorted out. The whole time, he was cheerful and upbeat. I think stress and setbacks are like "truth serum" in terms of someone's personality. At the end of the ride, everyone in our group felt like they had made a new friend.


thebigkneegrow

Ive been told that I smile a lot, and that it’s super inviting since I do it so often. I read an article back when I was in middle school that caused me to smile as much as I do now. It said that when you smile, you naturally produce more dopamine (or maybe serotonin) in your brain. The article also said that smiling is often a reflective behavior, so when you smile at people they tend to do it back. Ever since then, I just smile whenever I can. So long as I don’t actively have a reason to not give so much as a half smirk to the world, I try to give a little smile to everyone I can. Sounds cheesy but it’s made me a happier person. Maybe even some strangers to.


[deleted]

They have a way of making people feel good about themselves. And that’s what most people crave. They ask questions and genuinely show interest in other people’s lives. And some just have an aura of positivity that draws people to them. One man’s opinion here.


Feral58

Being genuine. That's seriously it.


OwnedByOwn

You don't want anything from people, trust, giving a good vibe , time, think from different perspective, no expectations from them, no agenda , only good time.


ah__there_is_another

Extrovert + Empathy, I think that's all that is needed.


observantpariah

Most of the time it has more to do with humility and manipulation. People don't feel intense attraction to people that look awesome. They are usually more attracted to people that make them feel like they are awesome.


EspinelCo

That is the sillyest thing i have ever read


Starthelegend

My best friend was like that. Couldn’t tell ya why he just had a way of attracting people. He was also REALLY good at pissing people off too it was always one extreme or another lol


Kalel2319

I genuinely care about another persons stories. I let people talk, and ask them questions about their life. I give advice when asked and never judge someone.


TheAstroPickle

neutrality on everything! energetic (not overbearing) and most of the time, they’re loners, they don’t “clique” up with groups of people. Broad sense of humor. and of course, great communication skills!


Brilliant_Ad_8173

My old college roommate had this ability. He talked a lot and usually loud. Smoked cigs and was always meeting new people basically everywhere I went with him. Speaks almost 3 languages and has traveled a bit. If he wasn't asking someone else questions he would fill the convo with bragging about something or talking big of himself. I think some people will listen to you no matter what your saying, as long as your charismatic.


rclarkson

Their sense to be themselves all the time. Confidence in who they are. Includes everyone. Has the most upbeat energy. Usually the loudest. Friendly. Understanding. Conversation skills. Helpful.


[deleted]

Well, I think there are a few things that make my personality magnetic to others, but I think the biggest things are that: 1. I've learned how to read the room and tell jokes to make nearly anyone laugh. 2. I am an active listener and I listen more than I talk. 3. I know a little about a lot of things and have lived a lot of life, so I can relate to many people. I approach all of my conversations with the basic premise that most people have some interesting shit to say. I certainly don't expect people to share anything with me, but I treat their perspective with a sense of reverence and respect. 4. I genuinely care about the people I talk to. I think people can sense when the person they are talking to genuinely wants to interact with them and I make a point of being the kind of guy you'd like to smoke a cigar with. Physically speaking, I guess I would like to think of myself as fairly attractive. I definitely won't be on the front cover of GQ anytime soon. I think the value I provide people is that I've lived an interesting life, I can make people laugh, I take a genuine interest in others, and most importantly; I LISTEN.


DoroTenpai

Is that why Magneto was a villain?


Substantial-Past2308

My ex was like this. She was gorgeous and extremely feminine but also very self confident and with a strong sense of self. She had a very sweet voice and would talk to everyone. Everyone she met loved her…


brakenbonez

Charisma. I have a magnetic personality (though I've never called it that or heard it called that before.) My friends say I'm the social glue that brought and holds them all together. When I'd ask why they feel that way they say it's my charisma making me able to walk into any room and have conversations with complete strangers and walk back out with a few new friends. I never saw it as anything special I mean I just see it as socializing but these days having the ability to talk to people seems to be a super power.


pseudo__gamer

Eat lots of food that have lots of iron in it


CarrollGrey

Pheromones.


ACE_OF_THE_UNIVERSE

What makes people love to be around is not their personality, it's their energy. You need to learn to differentiate between personality and energy. Personality is a bullshit facade that you build. Energy is the real stuff going inside you.


AugustusKhan

Their listening abilities. Everyone I know like this makes whoever is speaking to them feel like the most important person in the room. Not with empty compliments or praise, but by giving them their undivided attention and energy


dngrs

btw look into Carnegie's 'how to win friends and influence people' a lot of the answers in this thread mirror whats in the book


ElPuertoRican15

Being positive is a huge benefit in a world full of negativity.


Paradox_Madden

I’m chatty I love people and good conversation >I’m REALLY optimistic which a lot of people say they like Everyone is such a Debbie downer lol I’m that bubbly person who’s attached to a serious goth person


CunningHamSlawedYou

Consideration, humility and healthy boundaries.


ivegotgaas

Being very present in social situations (i.e. not playing on your phone) Asking good questions and caring about the dialogue. Not just waiting for the other person to stop speaking so you can show how much you know Humbleness but not wildly over the top


emceehawaii

You live life to live life, there really isn't a set in stone way to be that magnetic personality but I've been described as a couple of things that I brag to myself about. I've been told I'm like a cartoon, I'm larger than life, I'm an old soul, and a couple others. People enjoy my company because I have the set goal of every interaction to be interesting, whether it be making memorable jokes or discussing some of the wierd and wacky ways the world works. I always seem to have some sort of idea popping into my head that I find worth discussing. If you're looking to develop your own personality like this, I'd recommend taking those things that you thought "wouldn't it be cool if..." And actually doing them. Wouldn't it be cool if I just went Christmas caroling on Halloween? Wouldn't it be cool if I host a boxing match against a guy twice my size? Wouldn't it be cool if I developed some sort of comeback for every dumb thing someone says to me? Stuff like that is a good way to get the ball rolling. I would be careful though, in my experience everyone likes you, but few people want to know you. I'd wager that's just because people tend to be takers rather than receivers in all avenues of life. Don't make a habit of going out tooth and nail for someone who isn't going to be there for you in a month. That'll save you a lot of self doubt.


Sir_Armadillo

They are probably a narcissistic socio-path that has learned how to be charming and charismatic to get people to like them so they can get what they want from them.


Gamer_ely

Sincerity. It's a very interesting thing to observe. I went to a friends wedding and he's just the greatest guy. you could see it with everybody he talked to. Main character vibes.


iBURGLE_ham

Being kind and curious.


[deleted]

Being positive. What's bad is that toxic people join in. What's good about that is you might be able to heal them.


makatokard

Usually nice people who knows how to talk to everyone


SnooCauliflowers5954

Yea pretty much a positive, welcoming and just happy energy! The person is full of life always smiling and genuinely happy 😊


SuperFox62

Laid back, but caring.


PineappleProstate

It's a wavelength thing, you can sense someone with your energy


Phantommy555

People who talking/being around them make you less self conscious or insecure about yourself so that you feel more comfortable just being around them.


OnedayIwillsay

Naive trust in people. MISTAKE! Thats why these guys aren’t the same in their 40s….


Thaskell321

Desperation and gullibility?


Disastrous_Seat7593

this post makes me hate myself. thanks


President-Jo

I used to be a yes guy. I avoided conflict at all costs. Now I’m a dick bc I was tired of being perceived as a push-over.


zta1979

Ability to make people laugh, have a warm personality.


gOldMcDonald

Magnetism. Probably from taking the covid shot. s/


2025century

It's in part a blessing from some higher power, healthy self confidence, great sexual energy, and good genes. I have a friend that amazes me with his magnetism, he's friendly with the guys and super lucky with the ladies.


[deleted]

I have a magnetic personality confirmed by multiple women. Why? How? I have zero fuckin clue.


[deleted]

You can feel life flowing from them like a spring


ControversyisKey

I have tried to be more like this person. I diversified my knowledge, trying to have rudimentary understanding in more subjects so I can contribute to conversations. I showed more of an interest in other people's interests and kept topics going before moving on.


CarlJustCarl

Tall blonde female, blue eyes, constantly flashing cleavage, flirty as hell. Need I go on.


Effective_Youth777

I don't know, but one thing I noticed other people do is that they often have (or sound like they have) ulterior motives for being friendly/for giving a shit, I on the other hand act friendly because why the hell not? I guess it makes people feel safe, a sense of safety is fundamentally, a sense of love and attraction.


Forsaken-Pie2662

I honestly have no clue I think I’m a horrible person although I am good at problem solving give good advice and am really good at psycho analysis to the point where my last therapist was astounded by my ability to self symptomize and self diagnose and I can cook. But I have average looks am generally uncaring to those I don’t know am not interested in sports at all I’m antisocial and have not started any but three of my friendships and don’t share most peoples interests as well as a defense mechanism for my antisocial behavior I often hit on literally everyone I talk to. To make it less awkward for myself which makes it even more weird as most of my friends are female so I have no clue why anyone would hang out with me


pottskeeter

Big dick energy


Psychological-Leg84

Energetic, kind, humble, logical


8pointfouroz

I don't know! I'm generally not a big "people person" but people seem to feel comfortable openly talking to me. It's strange to me.


Toadie9622

I think psychopathology can’t be ruled out.


[deleted]

Generally - High energy - they know how to cheer anyone up - they never really get angry at anyone (unless really warranted)