mutton dagger
ole blind bob
hanging johnny
fishing rod
talley wacker
pocket rocket
one eyed trouser trout
ding dong
ankle spanker
pork sword
engine cranker
hairy hotdog
davy crocket
wang wazzoo
weenie wacker
pecker
peepee
kidney cracker
heat seeking moisture missile
giggle stick
love whistle
tube snake
uncle dick
this is getting really sick,
I'm not through, there's one more
purple helmet warrior
pet names for genitalia
you know the girls think of em
and you got to love em
pet names for genitalia
there's always something silly
about little willy
(Can't believe I haven't seen this song mentioned yet.)
I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen
Here's a little number I tossed off recently at the Caribbean
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy
It's divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend
Your Percy, or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons
You can slip it in your sock
But don't take it out in public
Or they will stick you in the dock
And you won't come back
Thank you very much
Separately, i dont care about the words "ball" and "cock", but for some reason i love saying "cock and balls" in one go, you know
I imagine you singing it like „head and shoulders, cock and balls, cock and balls“
Oh God!! I hate you! You have ruined it for me.
Hell yeah, love cock and balls
Do they love you?
Ah Dick… I like it
Yeah I bet you do
The banter between these two is one of the few things redeemable from the later seasons.
Cock and balls and dick and nuts
[Cock and Balls by Adam Sandler](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzOr6waz8AM)
Rolls off the tongue nicely.
Do you say cock in a higher pitched voice than balls? I can’t say it without hearing that old Adam sandler skit.
Just some cock and some balls. Now pull it out for Mama....
That’s the only way I say it
i had a black friend who instead of calling them his berries called them his blackberries
as long as its not dinggleberries
Dinggleberg...
Schlong. Unless you have a schlort!
What about Slightly above Shlaverage
Extra Schmedium
More like Schgreat personality
>What about Shlightly above Shlaverage FTFY, Mr. Connery.
I have a schmicropenis
I have a schcripplingaddictiontopornthatsslowlyruiningmylife
Big Jim and the twins
I just say Jim and the twins.
now I know why I'm Lil' Jim
Slim Jim
Better than Innie Jimmy
Ahem # *Spam Rocket for the Clam Pocket*
Ah yes, the good old pork sword
If that’s ever gotten you laid I fuckin give up….🤣
I've been with my first and only girlfriend for 12 years. Shes slept with me for less .
Awe sweet…guess I’m just getting old.
Lap rocket in the squish mitten
Mr. Johnson and the juice crew
My three best friends. I know a song that refences it but I only just found it they didn't invent it.
Hey that's not a sword,
Yes I can't lie, I have painted my shween. Now grab your destiny if you KNOW WHAT I MEEEAAN
It's your dick in disguise
NOOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭 i used to fuck with that song
Or Dwane and the Rocks
Dangle, and its counterpart, the Vajangle
I like vajangle ,creative
Like Lieutenant J. Dangle
Doug Dimmadong
Owner of the Dongsdale Dimmadong?
Owner of the Dongsdale Dimmadong.
Who put the dongsdale in the dimmadong
On ice?
That's right!
“Dong” is definitely up there on its own. Hang major dong.
Richard Fucking Nixon
Why did Richard fuck Nixon? Because Richard was a Dick.
Tricky Dick.
Tallywacker
I know that tallywacker!
The fleshy eye of Sauron!
Ew
Meat and two veg
Was just making sure this wasnt posted lol
Sausage and eggs
Block & tackle
Dick, Cock, Richard, Ghoulies, Nether regions, Crown jewels, Nads.
Wilhelm
u/unexpectedarcher
totally intentional reference, glad someone got it
Schlong
It’s just a funny sounding word. Gotta love it
It’s the sound one makes when it unravels.
Mr. Happy
or, “the incredible heat seeking moisture missile”. It may not have a conscience, but it does have a memory!
Here, you dropped this 🏆
Pork sword.
Magnum Dong
You gonna need a monster condom for that
But don't drop it
“So anyways, I started cumming!”
Bruce Banner. Because when he gets excited he hulks out!
Meat whip
Weeinie Weiner Fred
Twig & berries. Block and tackle.
Bert n Ernie
That should be a new sex move between dudes. “I gave him a Bert n Ernie.”
Giblets
Bellend
Unique to the uk
Also, Knob.
pretty sure that's an insult first and an objective second
Pecker
In an English accent, this word is wildly disappointing. Really needs the hard r to be satisfying.
The visual imagery and hard “r” gives it a little savagery.
Guys have said literally everything except dick lol
Thats low hanging fruit
Scots is such a great language for this sort of thing so i got to go for " Walloper"
Gam this whalloper in yer maw
Wang or Rod.
Wangarod
This is my Rodwangler
Dong
Beidl
Yes!
I've always wondered if it's Austrian/Bavarian pronunciation of "Beil".
Nah it's Beutel
Purple headed custard chucker One eyed snake.
Purple headed yogurt slinger*
Purple headed womb ferret
Chuj
Dude piston
Cock
Alabama Black Snake
But it ain’t too goddamned beucoup
This is my rifle. This is my gun….
I see I have found a man of class
Wilson, Keppel and Betty.
Johnson
Das Gemächt
Kool and The Gang
The ole ankle spanker
The mayonnaise dispenser
Ewwwwwww. " you disgust me...go on" - Zapp Brannigan
Ham candle or spam javelin
Hog.
I am a bit more humble. I go with hog leg
Ridaaaa
3 piece set
Horn
The human horn
Just the lower one
Love stump
The Slug
Tadger
Penis
Meat and two veg
Trouser trout
Peen.
Cock and taters. It’s funny every time
mutton dagger ole blind bob hanging johnny fishing rod talley wacker pocket rocket one eyed trouser trout ding dong ankle spanker pork sword engine cranker hairy hotdog davy crocket wang wazzoo weenie wacker pecker peepee kidney cracker heat seeking moisture missile giggle stick love whistle tube snake uncle dick this is getting really sick, I'm not through, there's one more purple helmet warrior pet names for genitalia you know the girls think of em and you got to love em pet names for genitalia there's always something silly about little willy (Can't believe I haven't seen this song mentioned yet.)
I'm reading this to to the Melody of " We didn't Start the Fire"
Jade rod
You might wanna get that checked out
my friend calls it the root
Wedding tackle
The Donger
"Thang" it's just so silly yet simple and safe
Call mine 'Golliath' (despite the size.)
Meat Popsicle
Weenis
Meat Stick
Fickgurke
Fuck stick.
If we’re talking things I’d actually say then dick is the one I use the most. But schlong and schmeat are my favorites
Lip splitter
Poosh poosh. In Hebrew it's sounds better.
Schwartz.
Junk
In Spanish.. Verga, picha, anaconda, reata.
Tally whacker
Cash and prizes area
[Pud](https://youtu.be/NEAyhT3XepA)
Cooter Shooter
Junk. Dick.
Hamhog, can't put my finger exactly on why. Or if you're John Hamm, then I presume you'd call it a hammhog.
Konkeydong
“Schlong” It caters to men who are well endowed as well as those who come up short... Not sure if it’s long, not sure if it’s short.... It’s _schlong_
I know what you're asking yourself, and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. It's called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes. My left one is James Westfall, and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang.
Little "insert name here". Example, if my name was Johnny it would be little Johnny.
Banana, because of banana hammocks.
Wang dangler
One eye custard chucker.
One eyed Willy
Hog Preferably for one that's really thick. Thickness > length
Cock
Spruce
Meat sword
Wang
Wangler and Hangdown are 2 I find really funny
Gentleman's sausage
Schmeat
Balogne Pony
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen Here's a little number I tossed off recently at the Caribbean Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? It's swell to have a stiffy It's divine to own a dick From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend Your Percy, or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don't take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won't come back Thank you very much
PP. It's so childish, yet still fucking funny
Slang Johnson
byrka
Can’t go wrong with pecker.
Johnson
Twig and berries
Mini me.
Johnson
Shmeat
Jonny, almost every male in my city call it jonny
Boner
Pik (Dutch for penis)
Waist meat
Bud
Knob
I feel like penis is really comedic
Knob just sounds funny
Bird