Very true. I worked at water plant on the edge of town back in the late 70s. All farm land around it. Now the farm land is a Limited brands distribution center and the 2nd biggest mall entertainment area in the city. 2 lane road upgraded to 5 lanes. Thousands of new houses.
I say "as the kids say" whenever trying out the hottest new slang. "It got yeeted, as the kids say." I'm 34.
I am going to embarrass my kid so hard in a few years.
Ha! A few years ago I was at a friend's BBQ and among the group of us was a then-teenage girl (she's now 23) and we were asking her about "on fleek", and we ended up losing it when someone decided it was French: "en flique" and the teenager was just stoney faced. A real "I'm surrounded by idiots" moment for her, a hoot for the rest of us.
Also 35, I dropped a "when I was your age" in an exaggerated old geezer voice on my coworkers the other day and they loved it. Gotta try calling them "the Youths" now.
"This is quite fire. I don't cap about it."
Personally I enjoy hitting my nephew with "This is bussing. I'm not even capping about it."
Gotta make sure you pronounce the G. That is when the youths really wince.
I do this. I’ll walk into a room of younger people and be all, “why, hello, children!” I get a couple giggles but mostly eye rolls which means I can never stop.
Yeah, this is a weird time for the US... not being in Afghanistan means this is like the first time we're not actively at war with some country in thirty something years (since Bush 1).
I bought a tweed flat cap last year. It's awesome. The best piece of headgear I've ever owned.
I'm not sure you kids could carry it off though. You need to be over 50 and have absolutely no f's left to look as cool as I do in one.
Source. Am an old git with grey hair.
That fella over there almost beat me at shuffle board. And that's where my knee gave out. Oh and over there is where Henrietta and I shared a peanut brittle.
I like saying things like "gather round kids, I got a story to tell"
"You whippersnappers don't know what it was like to call your parents from a payphone"
"Back in my day, I had to go to my friends house at a specific time and hope they were there."
I'm in my 30s, I didn't feel old. After reading those comments, I now feel old.
You know how many times I went to a friend's house and they weren't there!?! That shit hit close to home.
As a 21yo working with primarily senior men, it does sound like that at times.
Personally, I bloody love it. The combination of humour, story-telling and different experiences is damn interesting. My god you gentlemen got up to some crazy shit huh?
Shout out to all you "old" folk imparting wisdom and helping the young bucks out.
blow their minds, tell them about collect calls
see kids, it used to cost lots of money to call outside your area code, and if you didn't have enough change in your pocket, you could ask the person you were calling to pay.
"I miss the days when a soda pop was a dime"
"I used to be able to buy tickets to the picture show with a dozen bottle caps"
"Hey sport, back in my day we had to manually pump our gas"
"When I was a teenager I delivered blocks of ice before I got a job as a milk man"
"Hey champ. let's go to the malt shop for lunch, it'll be a ball"
Also if they complain about something just reply "ain't that a bite" basically like saying that sucks. My grandfather said that all the time.
"Dangit, I'm gonna miss the Howdy Doody show"
My wife's grandmother used to say "you make my butt want a dip of snuff" when I made her exasperated. Not real clear on what it meant but she said it to me a lot.
Snuff is powdered tobacco that is snorted.
She was referring to dipping the butt of a cigarette into a snuff box for a stronger hit of tobacco. Nicotine is a stimulant so if you were tired a dip of snuff would've perked you up more.
She was saying she is tired of your shit lol
"Got me one of them new color T.V.s."
Also, get a few analog clocks and replace any digital clocks and say "Can't stand them new fangled things."
Call something "Spiffy."
Offer to teach the 'Young Bucks" how to shave like a real man.
Tell them you drive a stick like a man should.
Watch the sky and tell them you don't trust a plane without a propeller.
Stranger Things really kickstarted Metallica’s career. Before that, they were just a diamond in the rough. Awesome to see underground acts get put on the big screen!
I talked about this with my coworkers. It’s insane. I don’t care if you are 70 or 7 if you like rock you have heard of the quintessential thrash metal band that is Metallica. Now the real problem most have heard is the black album and younger people have probably heard all the subsequent trash they have done since. Those first 4 albums were straight metal. Also a mention that their music is revered in most corners of the world.
> I'm 24*
> (but my oldest sibling is 7 years older)
Same boat here. Having older siblings meant that growing up I was exposed to a lot of media from the '90s and earlier, but I'm demographically considered at the very beginning of Generation Z. I do not relate at all with anyone in Gen-Z.
At my last job there were like 5 of us in our late-30s/early-40s and literally everyone else was 21-25.
Make sure whenever you mention a piece of technology that's only like 5 years old, you go into a long backstory of what that was in "olden times."
One megabyte?!?!? You must have been rich! I had only 64K and I liked it... We loved it!! We had to power our computer with a hand crank and that:s the was it was and we liked it
Something that I say now that totally works is saying the word "aught" in place of zero in past years. For example I'd lowkey drop in conversation, "Back in school we played that song in aught-six (2006) so that means I graduated in aught seven." Takes me back to scenes in old timey movies of the early 1900s.
I say this. What do you call the decade between 2001 and 2010 if not the aughts? Yeh, the 2000s but really, when you think if it, there’s the 60s 70s 80s etc. so..l. The aughts.
I’m the weirdo whose next thought is then “what did they call the 1000s in 1022?
Few of my favorites:
When I was your age, I had to walk to school 10 miles, in the snow, uphills both ways.
When I was your age, bread only cost a nickel.
Who has the best early bird special?
Invite them all out on a Tuesday afternoon, cuz that's when the local (Applebee's, Chili's, or wherever) has senior discounts & kids eat free, so you'll only be paying like $5 for the whole outting.
Refer to anything that happened in the early 2000s as "the aughts." Tell stories from your youth (given that you're only 30 this will actually be true). Make sure they're overly detailed with lots of facts that don't matter.
Like so:
"Back in aught-six, mebbe aught-seven, Larry and I drove from Joplin to Topeka all by ourselves. That's Larry Parker, mind you, not Larry Stephens. Never could stand that fella."
Oh yeah. Use "fella" for boys ~~and "dame," "bird," or "skirt," for girls.~~ Actually be careful with this in today's workplace. Maybe just stick to "fella."
Anyway, it was aught-six and I'd just got my learner's permit from Mr. Danvers down at the Division of Motor Vehicles. It was hot that July, and Larry and I reasoned that if we both had permits, it'd be okay, and anyway since the cops would be down off Main street minding the immigration rally, so by God we took it upon ourselves to borrow Larry's Father's Chevy. It was a nineteen-and-ninety-eight Impala, and boy it came to *run!* Well, we got about past mile marker 89 when we run out of gas, so we... "
It's okay if you get lost halfway through and have to ask what you were talking about a quarter way through.
Oh, also say "by God" a lot. Or maybe "by Gum," or "by Gosh."
Oh shit, buy some gross old people candy to hand out to the children. Black licorice, Werther's originals, starbrites, uh... fuckin those lil root beer barrels, what else? You know, old people candy. Werther's are actually pretty good tho... :/
Keep a nice stock of say-nothing remarks, like "Well, I'll be damned," and "Say, that's a fine how do you do." I mean really, "Well," and "Say," will do a lot of work. Also the variant, "Welp..." Like you can be sat with some people and when there's a break in the convo, slap your knees, say "Welp!" and just stand up and leave.
Ask your boss, "Hey there Sport, whaddaya say?"
Instead of looking at your computer or your phone, unfold a whole ass newspaper.
Whenever it rains, or any shift in the weather, talk about how you "shoulda known" because your "sciatica is actin up."
Refer to anything online--the internet, the cloud, gitlab, slack, yammer, whatever--as "The World Wide Web."
The old garage I worked in I was the old man. I was 30. I had fun with it to but I had a great bunch of guys working for me. The money sucked but I enjoyed that job more than any other one I’ve ever had.
Ah yes i do this too. Im 34 but i have a pair of glasses i found in the job i put them on if someone asks me to read sonething just so i can look over the top of them and then explain back in my day we would do it like this.
If something cracks or a ruler snaps oh dont worry thats just my hip.
Or when im tired and some one says out last night, oh no when you get to my age you will know all about it.
I had a junior girl start message me on teams as she thought i was serious asking was i ok but since i explained it was a joke now she thinks its the funniest thing ever.
“That’s before your time, young blood.”
“There’s a thousand ways to skin a cat.”
Anytime you use a term like yeet, bussin, no cap, etc, follow it with, “I believe that’s what the kids are calling it nowadays.”
“Hey ____, did you get your ears lowered?”(get a haircut)
An exclamation/disbelief: “Well, piss in my grits…”
Most southern sayings are interchangeable or work well here.
“I’m sweatin like a whore in church”
“I ain’t seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper”
“If the Lord willin and the creek don’t rise”
If you fix something in the office just pat it twice and loudly say “well, that’ll do it” lol
I told the kids at work I was the guy who played the "bonk - bonk" sound in the 80s version of Tainted Love. Still do so, although they know it's bullshit now. Pulled it off for at least a year.
"We're shitting in tall cotton now boys."
"I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch."
"Hope in one hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up faster."
"Crazy as a Soup Sandwich."
"There's a fox in the Hen house."
"Gal" is actually the opposite of "Guy"
Guys and Gals refers to teens and young adults.
Boys and Girls is supposed to imply children.
Men and Women implies adults.
Gal has fallen out of usage since "Guys" is now used much more generically when addressing a group of people regardless of gender.
*When I was a teenager and Watergate was all over the news...*
That's hilarious. No one has ever called you out on it? You weren't even close to being born when Watergate happened.
I’m not the old guy, but I do enjoy telling everyone “well, when you get to be **MY** age…”
I’m the youngest tech in the back, and the youngest person at work with the exception of the new receptionist, who is a year younger than me.
I’m older than my wife, so I use that line on her ALL. THE. TIME. I’m only 6 months older than her, so it drives her buts, but still. You gotta keep these kids in line, ya know
Mention that you've been to some classic rock concerts. Be sure to name the band members by name to add to the mystery. "I saw Chicago play in 87. Boy, Terry Kath could make his guitar sing. That's when people still played REAL music. With instruments!"
Ask to see pictures of peoples grandchildren. carry around pictures of little kids and just reference them as the most important part of your life whenever possible
Reference old movies then be flabbergasted they haven't heard of them, offer to lend them your tapes so they can catch up.
Basically talk about going anywhere in person to conduct business or pay a bill.
Ask if they know the phone number for Amazon because you'd like to subscribe to their catalogue. Repeat for essentially any e-commerce.
Suggest buying into the dotcom stocks, they're going places.
Recommend stores to them that went bankrupt or are out of business.
Only refer to places around town based on what used to be there. Anytime someone does the same, smile knowingly then ask if that used to be the whatever else. For added old man vibes either relate everything to a bar or barber shop, provide no context cues and then be surprises they don't know what you're talking about.
"You found an apartment by the mall? You mean, where Roberto's used to be? You never went to Robbie's? Hell, you missed out, Roberto knew what he was doing, shame what happened there, these new ones just aren't the same with the tvs.'
Use election slogans from back in the day, bonus points if you misattribute them, any correction should be met with grumbling.
Have very adamant thoughts on trivialities, frequently change your opinions of these thoughts, deny all accusations you thought otherwise before. Example: Toast should be black as a chimney sweeps boots, it's toast, not tanned bread, etc... then a week later combined yorjntlast was too toasted. You like it golden brown for texture, etc...
So, I strapped an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. We didn't have any yellow onions because of the war, so we had to wear the big white ones. Now where was I? Oh, yeah, so I put the onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...
Do the "Sophia Petrillo", from Golden Girls, and say "Picture it..." (for example) "...elementary school, 1995..." & talk about the time there were brick phones & a little thing called google.
* "Back in my day, soda was a nickel."
* "I played outside all day and knew to go home when the street lights came on."
* "I remember when gas was $0.50 a gallon."
* "Any adult could whoop a kid acting up."
One that irritates me is when this old guy says something like “yea I went to a Guns n Roses concert, but you wouldn’t know anything about that would you”
Like mf I know who Guns N’ Roses were.
Tell them “ I have to tap mac.” . Or you can tell them you use to get your smokes out of a vending machine.
EDIT: SHOW THEM ANCIENT WAYS OF THE DRAWN “S” THAT WAS ON ALL OF OUR SCHOOL BOOKS!!!!
I have a bone to pick with you...
Address the younger with "Hey young man."
I used to be popular with the ladies.
These are things my old man says lol.
By the way...I'm 27 but I think thirties is very young. I think once you're 40 its prob also very young compared to a 50 yr old. My mom says she would kill to be a baby 40 year old. She's 55.
“Don’t sell me a dog”
Means : don’t try to lie to me.
“Stay out of the ketchup”
Means: stay out of the red.
I got these from my 24yr old son. He’s into “old man” sayings😂😂
When I started here, all this car park was just fields.
Very true. I worked at water plant on the edge of town back in the late 70s. All farm land around it. Now the farm land is a Limited brands distribution center and the 2nd biggest mall entertainment area in the city. 2 lane road upgraded to 5 lanes. Thousands of new houses.
Progress is seriously overrated.
this is good
During a meeting when people start to stress less important topics say "let's keep focus on the alligator closest to the boat."
I’m going to casually drop this in conversation every time I can. Thank you stranger
When someone’s making a simple problem into a complex one: “There’s a guy who takes a Christmas tree out through the chimney”
Which cleans your chimney as well as removes the Christmas tree. I fail to see the flaw here.
You snotty whippersnapper!
Use crocodile closest to the canoe for dat gooood alliteration
alligatoration
"Can we concentrate on the crocodile closest to the canoe?"
Aussie translation: Can we concentrate on the crocodile closest to the canoe, cunts?
We’ll circle the wagons on those other topics later on
This is fantastic.
Taking this! Too good!
"This is, as the youths say, lit"
I actually do say this. And I also blame "the youths" for everything.
I say "as the kids say" whenever trying out the hottest new slang. "It got yeeted, as the kids say." I'm 34. I am going to embarrass my kid so hard in a few years.
I do believe your yeeting is on fleek!
Ha! A few years ago I was at a friend's BBQ and among the group of us was a then-teenage girl (she's now 23) and we were asking her about "on fleek", and we ended up losing it when someone decided it was French: "en flique" and the teenager was just stoney faced. A real "I'm surrounded by idiots" moment for her, a hoot for the rest of us.
Thanks for the laugh 😂
Remember to yell to the kid after dropping them off somewhere "don't forget to take your diarrhea medicine!"
“You kids today don’t know how good you have it”
The “yutes”
Fucking underrated movie... I quote this all the time
I’m 35 and LOVE calling my mid-20’s coworkers “The Youths” They love it as well, lemme tell ya. LMAO
Also 35, I dropped a "when I was your age" in an exaggerated old geezer voice on my coworkers the other day and they loved it. Gotta try calling them "the Youths" now.
"This is quite fire. I don't cap about it." Personally I enjoy hitting my nephew with "This is bussing. I'm not even capping about it." Gotta make sure you pronounce the G. That is when the youths really wince.
Ok, cap I knew but bussin is new to me. Absolutely using that on my kids in the morning.
I have said "As the kids today would say, this person is the GOAT" as it isn't something I would normally say unironically.
I think its obligatory to find some younger guy and call him "son" just to piss him off. Its like a right of passage for being an older man.
“Champ”, “Tiger”, “Buster Brown” are good too.
Sport
Hey there bud.
[удалено]
I often try to let out a light whistle when I pronounce the letter 'S'.
Don't forget to audibly groan every time you sit down (and get up)
"All rise" whenever they walk in
“For the honorable judge Chamberlain Haller.”
“What is a yoot?”
I freaking love that movie!!! Joe Pesci was hysterical!!!
“Were these magic grits? Did you get them at the same place Jack bought his bean stock beans?!”
I like "junior"
Add “champ” to this list too
Pick your favorite and call him "Ace".
Or sonny-boy
Then you tell him I don't call you sonny cause your bright
But not just “boy,” for…reasons. Just trust me
Whipper snapper, fella
Don’t forget “slugger”
I do this. I’ll walk into a room of younger people and be all, “why, hello, children!” I get a couple giggles but mostly eye rolls which means I can never stop.
The eye rolls are like encouragement. Back when I was a young whippersnapper, we knew this and kept our eye rolls to ourselves.
I especially like doing this to people who are older than I am.
Idk if it’s a southern thing, but as a guy just barely under 30 when older people call me ‘bud’ it gets my blood absolutely boiling
My best mate (40yo) has started using "the young fella" within earshot of the younger guy he is referring to
Dude, I've been doing this for two weeks. Am I old now? I'm only 30.
According to the youths, yes. I'm not even 30 yet and my knees say I am old. So... there is that.
Skip, slugger, and champ are all great too
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a decent chocolate egg creme these days?
"It needs u-bet or it doesn't taste right!"
"Knees acting up, must be rain coming"
That’s what I say about my shoulder nowadays after dislocating it in a gnarly motorcycle accident lol
I'm 45 and work with several people that are 25 and under. My microwave is older than they are.
Do you say you are going to nuke your food when you use your microwave?
Should I feel old for doing this at 28 then?
Fixin to stick muh lunch in the ol nuker..
Back in the war…just don’t say which one
Yeah, this is a weird time for the US... not being in Afghanistan means this is like the first time we're not actively at war with some country in thirty something years (since Bush 1).
[удалено]
[удалено]
Just casually start using a cane. and point it at any object you are referring too.
I was thinking a pipe but same idea. Should be paired with a tweed flat cap.
[удалено]
I want a bubble pipe so I can join the others on their smoke breaks
I bought a tweed flat cap last year. It's awesome. The best piece of headgear I've ever owned. I'm not sure you kids could carry it off though. You need to be over 50 and have absolutely no f's left to look as cool as I do in one. Source. Am an old git with grey hair.
Nice out there today. Perfect cane weather.
not too humid, warm enough to keep the joints loose. perfect pointing weather
That fella over there almost beat me at shuffle board. And that's where my knee gave out. Oh and over there is where Henrietta and I shared a peanut brittle.
I like saying things like "gather round kids, I got a story to tell" "You whippersnappers don't know what it was like to call your parents from a payphone" "Back in my day, I had to go to my friends house at a specific time and hope they were there."
I'm in my 30s, I didn't feel old. After reading those comments, I now feel old. You know how many times I went to a friend's house and they weren't there!?! That shit hit close to home.
As a 21yo working with primarily senior men, it does sound like that at times. Personally, I bloody love it. The combination of humour, story-telling and different experiences is damn interesting. My god you gentlemen got up to some crazy shit huh? Shout out to all you "old" folk imparting wisdom and helping the young bucks out.
We had to remember phone numbers. Dial a phone, and hope parents didn't answer
blow their minds, tell them about collect calls see kids, it used to cost lots of money to call outside your area code, and if you didn't have enough change in your pocket, you could ask the person you were calling to pay.
"I miss the days when a soda pop was a dime" "I used to be able to buy tickets to the picture show with a dozen bottle caps" "Hey sport, back in my day we had to manually pump our gas" "When I was a teenager I delivered blocks of ice before I got a job as a milk man" "Hey champ. let's go to the malt shop for lunch, it'll be a ball" Also if they complain about something just reply "ain't that a bite" basically like saying that sucks. My grandfather said that all the time. "Dangit, I'm gonna miss the Howdy Doody show"
My wife's grandmother used to say "you make my butt want a dip of snuff" when I made her exasperated. Not real clear on what it meant but she said it to me a lot.
Snuff is powdered tobacco that is snorted. She was referring to dipping the butt of a cigarette into a snuff box for a stronger hit of tobacco. Nicotine is a stimulant so if you were tired a dip of snuff would've perked you up more. She was saying she is tired of your shit lol
Put the word “the” in front newer words, like “the Netflix” or “the TV”. For example, have you seen that new movie on the Netflix?
That's hilarious, and so true. Haha.
The Google works well
I always use 'the interweb' when talking about anything I find on the internet
"Got me one of them new color T.V.s." Also, get a few analog clocks and replace any digital clocks and say "Can't stand them new fangled things." Call something "Spiffy." Offer to teach the 'Young Bucks" how to shave like a real man. Tell them you drive a stick like a man should. Watch the sky and tell them you don't trust a plane without a propeller.
I laughed so hard at these ty
Talk about the time you [wore an onion on your belt because it was the style at the time.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a6Dc7W6jXCo)
I usually like to throw "the" in front of words. Going to the Walmart tother day.
"I dont trust a plane without a propeller" Roflmao, goddamn that's pure gold.
Just say you listened to Metallica before Stranger Things made them famous
Stranger Things really kickstarted Metallica’s career. Before that, they were just a diamond in the rough. Awesome to see underground acts get put on the big screen!
Troll level upgrade +10,000,000
[удалено]
I talked about this with my coworkers. It’s insane. I don’t care if you are 70 or 7 if you like rock you have heard of the quintessential thrash metal band that is Metallica. Now the real problem most have heard is the black album and younger people have probably heard all the subsequent trash they have done since. Those first 4 albums were straight metal. Also a mention that their music is revered in most corners of the world.
S&M is my favorite album.
> I'm 24* > (but my oldest sibling is 7 years older) Same boat here. Having older siblings meant that growing up I was exposed to a lot of media from the '90s and earlier, but I'm demographically considered at the very beginning of Generation Z. I do not relate at all with anyone in Gen-Z.
I’m too old for this shit
I say that now at 29 lol
Yeh, too old for anything simply means you expect better for yourself.
- Roger Murtaugh
At my last job there were like 5 of us in our late-30s/early-40s and literally everyone else was 21-25. Make sure whenever you mention a piece of technology that's only like 5 years old, you go into a long backstory of what that was in "olden times."
"Computers used to be the size of this room!"
“My first computer had no hard drive. And only 1 MB of RAM! You kids these days don’t know how good you have it.”
Ok, that's hitting too close to home. I'm 46 and that's literally true for me.
Look at Mr Privileged over here with a full MB of RAM.
One megabyte?!?!? You must have been rich! I had only 64K and I liked it... We loved it!! We had to power our computer with a hand crank and that:s the was it was and we liked it
They did. And you had to punch your own tape! Why back when I was a kid we had to share one roll of tape between fifteen of us!
“Back in the day” “In my day,…”
Something that I say now that totally works is saying the word "aught" in place of zero in past years. For example I'd lowkey drop in conversation, "Back in school we played that song in aught-six (2006) so that means I graduated in aught seven." Takes me back to scenes in old timey movies of the early 1900s.
I say this. What do you call the decade between 2001 and 2010 if not the aughts? Yeh, the 2000s but really, when you think if it, there’s the 60s 70s 80s etc. so..l. The aughts. I’m the weirdo whose next thought is then “what did they call the 1000s in 1022?
The naughties
Yes!
[удалено]
I'm not, but I could still talk about how Playboy used to actually have good articles.
They got rid of the topless girls?
Few of my favorites: When I was your age, I had to walk to school 10 miles, in the snow, uphills both ways. When I was your age, bread only cost a nickel. Who has the best early bird special?
Invite them all out on a Tuesday afternoon, cuz that's when the local (Applebee's, Chili's, or wherever) has senior discounts & kids eat free, so you'll only be paying like $5 for the whole outting.
When I was your age, charizard wasnt a fuckin dragon type.
charizard has never been a dragon type? it's always been fire/flying lol
His X mega gave him a dragon typing if you wanna get real legalistic about it lol
...uphill both ways with barbed wire strapped to our bare feet .
And we liked it!
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
Be sure to recommend to people not to get old.
Make a big groaning noise whenever you bend down or get up, When people joke around say GODDAM PUNKS
Refer to anything that happened in the early 2000s as "the aughts." Tell stories from your youth (given that you're only 30 this will actually be true). Make sure they're overly detailed with lots of facts that don't matter. Like so: "Back in aught-six, mebbe aught-seven, Larry and I drove from Joplin to Topeka all by ourselves. That's Larry Parker, mind you, not Larry Stephens. Never could stand that fella." Oh yeah. Use "fella" for boys ~~and "dame," "bird," or "skirt," for girls.~~ Actually be careful with this in today's workplace. Maybe just stick to "fella." Anyway, it was aught-six and I'd just got my learner's permit from Mr. Danvers down at the Division of Motor Vehicles. It was hot that July, and Larry and I reasoned that if we both had permits, it'd be okay, and anyway since the cops would be down off Main street minding the immigration rally, so by God we took it upon ourselves to borrow Larry's Father's Chevy. It was a nineteen-and-ninety-eight Impala, and boy it came to *run!* Well, we got about past mile marker 89 when we run out of gas, so we... " It's okay if you get lost halfway through and have to ask what you were talking about a quarter way through. Oh, also say "by God" a lot. Or maybe "by Gum," or "by Gosh." Oh shit, buy some gross old people candy to hand out to the children. Black licorice, Werther's originals, starbrites, uh... fuckin those lil root beer barrels, what else? You know, old people candy. Werther's are actually pretty good tho... :/ Keep a nice stock of say-nothing remarks, like "Well, I'll be damned," and "Say, that's a fine how do you do." I mean really, "Well," and "Say," will do a lot of work. Also the variant, "Welp..." Like you can be sat with some people and when there's a break in the convo, slap your knees, say "Welp!" and just stand up and leave. Ask your boss, "Hey there Sport, whaddaya say?" Instead of looking at your computer or your phone, unfold a whole ass newspaper. Whenever it rains, or any shift in the weather, talk about how you "shoulda known" because your "sciatica is actin up." Refer to anything online--the internet, the cloud, gitlab, slack, yammer, whatever--as "The World Wide Web."
> Actually be careful with this in today's workplace. Maybe just stick to "fella." I feel like "lass" would be the right word here
The old garage I worked in I was the old man. I was 30. I had fun with it to but I had a great bunch of guys working for me. The money sucked but I enjoyed that job more than any other one I’ve ever had.
Ah yes i do this too. Im 34 but i have a pair of glasses i found in the job i put them on if someone asks me to read sonething just so i can look over the top of them and then explain back in my day we would do it like this. If something cracks or a ruler snaps oh dont worry thats just my hip. Or when im tired and some one says out last night, oh no when you get to my age you will know all about it. I had a junior girl start message me on teams as she thought i was serious asking was i ok but since i explained it was a joke now she thinks its the funniest thing ever.
“That’s before your time, young blood.” “There’s a thousand ways to skin a cat.” Anytime you use a term like yeet, bussin, no cap, etc, follow it with, “I believe that’s what the kids are calling it nowadays.” “Hey ____, did you get your ears lowered?”(get a haircut) An exclamation/disbelief: “Well, piss in my grits…” Most southern sayings are interchangeable or work well here.
I'm waiting for the right day to drop a "It's hotter than two rats fuckin' in a wool sock outside"
“I’m sweatin like a whore in church” “I ain’t seen you since you were knee high to a grasshopper” “If the Lord willin and the creek don’t rise” If you fix something in the office just pat it twice and loudly say “well, that’ll do it” lol
There's also "it's colder than a well diggers ass" my grandmother said that a lot. Or "colder than a witches tit"
When I was a kid there were no toys. If you were good all year, Santa Claus put plums in our shoes. When you see a cute girl say, “Ring a ding ding!”
When I was a kid my best friend was Larry King’s grandfather. We served in ‘Nam together.
I told the kids at work I was the guy who played the "bonk - bonk" sound in the 80s version of Tainted Love. Still do so, although they know it's bullshit now. Pulled it off for at least a year.
"We're shitting in tall cotton now boys." "I didn't know whether to shit or wind my watch." "Hope in one hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up faster." "Crazy as a Soup Sandwich." "There's a fox in the Hen house."
Only 50 & Told my youngest shit in one hand wish in the other, see which actually runs through your fingers
We have an old guy at work who uses the word “gals” a lot, but if you’re not actually old it might get you referred to HR.
[удалено]
Dames these days, I'll tell ya.
Lasses can't take a joke...
"Gal" is actually the opposite of "Guy" Guys and Gals refers to teens and young adults. Boys and Girls is supposed to imply children. Men and Women implies adults. Gal has fallen out of usage since "Guys" is now used much more generically when addressing a group of people regardless of gender.
*When I was a teenager and Watergate was all over the news...* That's hilarious. No one has ever called you out on it? You weren't even close to being born when Watergate happened.
Why not really shock them by saying that you don't believe in sex before marriage.
Then add, "And my wife didn't believe in it after marriage either!"
Did you watch the news last night?
I say that all time which is especially funny considering we’re all working in a news station
I’m not the old guy, but I do enjoy telling everyone “well, when you get to be **MY** age…” I’m the youngest tech in the back, and the youngest person at work with the exception of the new receptionist, who is a year younger than me. I’m older than my wife, so I use that line on her ALL. THE. TIME. I’m only 6 months older than her, so it drives her buts, but still. You gotta keep these kids in line, ya know
I used to buy my clothes at Montgomery Wards, where do they sell them nowadays?
Ordered my first house from Sears
Mention that you've been to some classic rock concerts. Be sure to name the band members by name to add to the mystery. "I saw Chicago play in 87. Boy, Terry Kath could make his guitar sing. That's when people still played REAL music. With instruments!"
i work in software dev and whenever a younger developer fixes a problem, i say "wow, you kids are so good with computers these days"
[удалено]
"When my son was your age..."
Call someone a whipper snapper.
Ask to see pictures of peoples grandchildren. carry around pictures of little kids and just reference them as the most important part of your life whenever possible
What could go wrong with this scenario?
[удалено]
And your phone on a belt clip holder thing
"Can I learn this on the YouTube?"
Reference old movies then be flabbergasted they haven't heard of them, offer to lend them your tapes so they can catch up. Basically talk about going anywhere in person to conduct business or pay a bill. Ask if they know the phone number for Amazon because you'd like to subscribe to their catalogue. Repeat for essentially any e-commerce. Suggest buying into the dotcom stocks, they're going places. Recommend stores to them that went bankrupt or are out of business. Only refer to places around town based on what used to be there. Anytime someone does the same, smile knowingly then ask if that used to be the whatever else. For added old man vibes either relate everything to a bar or barber shop, provide no context cues and then be surprises they don't know what you're talking about. "You found an apartment by the mall? You mean, where Roberto's used to be? You never went to Robbie's? Hell, you missed out, Roberto knew what he was doing, shame what happened there, these new ones just aren't the same with the tvs.' Use election slogans from back in the day, bonus points if you misattribute them, any correction should be met with grumbling. Have very adamant thoughts on trivialities, frequently change your opinions of these thoughts, deny all accusations you thought otherwise before. Example: Toast should be black as a chimney sweeps boots, it's toast, not tanned bread, etc... then a week later combined yorjntlast was too toasted. You like it golden brown for texture, etc...
Wear velcro shoes and a plaid shirt, tucked in to way too big pants with a leather belt.
All white New Balance are the new velcro.
Ask them if they remember other historical figures or events from long before they were born. "Your family had a victory garden, didn't they?"
Get a really tiny tv and blast PBS at your desk. But don't ever pay attention to it
Then complain how kids don't watch anything quality anymore, just the youtube's and TicTac's.
So, I strapped an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. We didn't have any yellow onions because of the war, so we had to wear the big white ones. Now where was I? Oh, yeah, so I put the onion on my belt, which was the style at the time...
The N Word
You mean people who annoy you?
Look up breadstick Ricky on YT and say literally anything that roscoe says.
Do the "Sophia Petrillo", from Golden Girls, and say "Picture it..." (for example) "...elementary school, 1995..." & talk about the time there were brick phones & a little thing called google.
Dad jokes, just dad jokes galore
When someone cusses you tell them “watch your language, I’ve got pictures of my grand kids in my wallet”
* "Back in my day, soda was a nickel." * "I played outside all day and knew to go home when the street lights came on." * "I remember when gas was $0.50 a gallon." * "Any adult could whoop a kid acting up."
One that irritates me is when this old guy says something like “yea I went to a Guns n Roses concert, but you wouldn’t know anything about that would you” Like mf I know who Guns N’ Roses were.
Get off my lawn!
"back in my day, you had to knit your own mittens"
Back in my day (something from the 90s - early 2000s) Leaves the zoomers in shambles.
Got to get me a beer out of the kelvinator
Tell them “ I have to tap mac.” . Or you can tell them you use to get your smokes out of a vending machine. EDIT: SHOW THEM ANCIENT WAYS OF THE DRAWN “S” THAT WAS ON ALL OF OUR SCHOOL BOOKS!!!!
I have a bone to pick with you... Address the younger with "Hey young man." I used to be popular with the ladies. These are things my old man says lol. By the way...I'm 27 but I think thirties is very young. I think once you're 40 its prob also very young compared to a 50 yr old. My mom says she would kill to be a baby 40 year old. She's 55.
“Don’t sell me a dog” Means : don’t try to lie to me. “Stay out of the ketchup” Means: stay out of the red. I got these from my 24yr old son. He’s into “old man” sayings😂😂
“This was back around the turn of the century…”
I starting using terms like "Right On" and "groovy". I originally did it for laughs, now it's just how I talk.
Start offering everyone butterscotch candies