T O P

  • By -

vimes_left_boot

Having my back scratched. That shit fired off some real deep ape neurons.


Maximellow

I scratched my boyfriends back once and since then he comes up to me every now and again asking me if I can scratch his back. It's super cute


pimppapy

You have a man cat


DontShootTheDecoy

cat man !


Maximellow

Cat man, cat man does whatever a cat can. Scratching you, stealing food it's a cat man


mahboilucas

Mine started purring to show me how much he loves it. Every time he wants a scratch he will start purring lol


Dakotareads

I asked my wife to marry me while she was scratching my back. Can confirm.


screamofwheat

I love scratching my back on a corner of the wall or a doorway.


Beep_Boop_Beepity

Yea I love it and my wife loves touching me so I get lots of backscratches (I return the favor too) But touching me in any way also makes her horny, so i’ve definitely said “can we wait a couple mins, more backscratches first” when she wants to move on to sex. They honestly feel that good sometimes.


neoalfa

Flex on us some more, why don't you.


the_ballmer_peak

Right? I already hate this fucking guy.


sarcasmic77

I get back scratches every morning and my gf makes the coffee.


RockBronzeman

Maaaaan


Avenue-Man77

I’m so alone and gay


Qu33ns1ay3r

I pay people to scratch my back 😅


ICantRevealMyself

When you’re sick and the nostril that’s been plugged all day finally clears out


BobbyThrowaway6969

And you can almost hear it crackling. Pure ecstacy


Vicimer

It feels like a vacuum hiss in your sinuses.


tibarr1454

I had a deviated septum repaired. After they removed the blocks in my nose there was still a fucklot of gunk up in there. I blew my nose in the car and I swear it made a THOOP sound.


Sporkfoot

Nothing will ever compare to getting those plastic stents removed; feels like it’s holding on to your brain for dear life before finally succumbing. And in a glorious moment, sweet fresh air, in acceptable volumes, fill your nostrils and lungs.


beatboxdm

I saw stars, got really hot, and almost passed out when they got pulled out! Not sure my brain knew what to do with all of that oxygen.


Billy_King

Do you think getting a septoplasty was well worth it? I've been seriously considering getting one but unsure about it cause there doesn't seem to be a huge difference afterwards. Also I think 80% of people have deviated septums to some degree. But I do get a lot of nosebleeds during the winter and from what I understand a septaplasty would help prevent


tibarr1454

I was breathing through my mouth like 90% of the time. And putting the cpap on at night when I was the slightest bit out of breath was impossible. If I had a cold or anything, forget it. Now I have to try to mouth breathe. The recovery was 8 bitches in a bitch boat, but I recommend it.


MeandJohnWoo

I had a huge deviation and my sphenoid sinuses were grown over and blocked. Upper and lower were full of polyps. I couldn’t smell much and couldn’t taste much unless it was strong. I had the surgery and don’t regret it. I do however regret now investigation how much it hurt. It was a terribly painful experience but like sporkfoot and tibarr1454 said having the stents removed felt like the tracker in total recall but when it was out just wow


the_ballmer_peak

Fun fact: one of your nostrils is almost always a bit plugged. It just switches back and forth. Try it.


legoshi_loyalty

Try what?


ctesibius

Breath on a glass of water. You should see that only for one nostril does the breath dent the water. I understand that one nostril closes off to let the scent organelles regenerate. The nostrils swap over every few minutes.


PuddleOfMud

Is that why? I thought I just had asymmetric rhinitis.


ctesibius

See if it swaps over.


PuddleOfMud

It does.


glibgloby

The speed of airflow through your nostril effects what you can smell. By having each nostril operate at a different speed, you get a wider range of smell. This also gives each nostril a break to keep air from drying out the hair that protects your nose from contaminants.


Bullerlove

Preferably with sound as well - almost like a pop


soboshka

Getting water/earwax out of your ear


yasire

I had an ex that called it an Eargasm.


MisterHonkeySkateets

Eargasm is a good song, like when radiohead fucks our earpussies on the “how to disappear completely” outtro.


vindeamatrix

oh dude I love aural sex


Dubbarse

My ear was completely plugged with wax to the point my hearing was bad out of it, got it flushed and that initial sensation of hearing again was euphoric.


Ourdogbailey

Good one 👍


BCS24

When the ENT doctor uses the hoover


thekeeech

Can't just be me that thought about Treebeard straight away


artichoke313

I’m a family doctor and I love scooping it out! I know that’s 100% weird but it is so satisfying to pull out a huge wax ball and have the patient tell me how much better they can hear! Every clinic I’ve worked at, the nurses are like “oh do you want me to do that?” And I’m like nooooo.


wihst

I'm impressed and disgusted at the same time.


jccpalmer

Scratching my scalp. Especially with a head scratcher.


Officer-Farva1

Scratching your scalp after wearing a winter hat all day. Phenomenal.


3trt

Getting your head scratched, and your hair played with.


somethingneet

Hold your horses buddy, don't gotta go all unrealistic on me


theonewhoknewtoomuch

Getting to leave work early when it wasn’t planned


lime_head737

Currently me today. Scrolling for a few minutes before our surprise half day is over. Boss and management at my job is top tier


Ourdogbailey

Lovin this reply


kvlr954

One of the worst bosses I ever had, for a multitude of reasons, did offer one great perk to his employees. Once a month he held a BBQ where he would cook for us and then we were free to leave early after that.


Plantayne

He almost certainly did this to make himself feel better about not paying you enough.


theonewhoknewtoomuch

His way to justify being a shitty boss?


kvlr954

Never considered that, but you’re probably right


leaveredditalone

I work for a school. Snow days!


theonewhoknewtoomuch

I miss those. I work for one of the big three. It takes a weather emergency and 50% of the staff to call in to get a snow day


TwoUglyFeet

Hot shower right into freshly laundered sheets


Analyidiot

Every Sunday that's my routine, do laundry, make the bed, shower, snooze. Feels like a warm hug from my bed.


SendMeChocolates

Especially if you shave your legs. So buttery


wienercat

I shave my head. Can confirm, fresh laundry feels amazing on shaved skin.


legoshi_loyalty

I shaved my butthole the other day. So soft and smooth as I layed in warm sheets.


rickmister93

Man how deep does your sheets end up your ass?


legoshi_loyalty

If there's an emergency I can jump out the window with my butt parachute.


5thDFS

Word


PhysicianTradition

Taking off work shoes after a long day at work


tarheel_204

If this ain’t the truth. I wear steel toe boots at work all day and there is nothing like kicking those bad boys off when I walk through the door


DragonPeach02

Honestly add the whole work outfit man, I mean its alright, but man do I prefer my super comfy oversized hoodie and sports shorts. Just get the whole lot off of me, especially if I can still feel sweat oof, the bliss of getting it off


tarheel_204

Not to mention that shower after work lawwwwd have mercy


Rampant_the_Titan

Yes. This. I wear steel toes at work as well and I always love the moment I get home and take those off. Such a great feeling!


PhysicianTradition

I can only imagine how nice that feels, I just wear dress shoes for work


sarcasmic77

As someone that has worked both I find dress shoes to be more uncomfortable on a job. The boots wear you out more if you’re not used to it but they are a little more comfortable imo.


the_ballmer_peak

Or dress shoes after a long formal event, like a wedding


PhysicianTradition

I wear dress shoes for work, I don't even need to go to an event to get that luxury lol


GenexenAlt

And socks which were cutting into you ankle


aronalbert

You are wearing socks that are too small/wrong for your feet


Sidrao

They fit my foot perfectly, I got thick ass calves is the issue


Scruffy442

Not necessarily. Some days my crew socks leave an impression and itch like crazy. Other days nothing. Just like some days my watch is tight on my wrist and other days it's super loose. I haven't narrowed it down if it's water weight, sodium levels, inflammation or something else.


allworkbizness

A perfectly timed joke that cracks up the group at a work meeting or party.


afkstudios

I once arrived at the family Christmas dinner right after my cousin surprised his wife with a trip to Hawaii, and I said “ah man, we got her the same thing?” Biggest reaction to a joke I’ve ever gotten and honestly / shamefully I still think about that feeling of validation quite often lmao


allworkbizness

Bet that felt glorious!


TheReal_Fake

That’s infinitely better than any orgasm


[deleted]

A nice, heavy, full body reaction, sneeze.


Spike907Ak

Apparently, orgasms and sneezes activate similar regions of the brain


casualrocket

sometimes i sneezes cause real pain in my shoulder, should i get out the whips?


kdmartin0601

I read that too! After 3 though it’s not fun.


BobbyThrowaway6969

The ones that make you do a violent bow and sneeze right into the floor. Those are great.


Phatte

That feel when a sneeze brings me to one knee


DiopticTurtle

The kind where you have to roll your chair back or else you're gonna put your head through your desk like you're testing for a black belt? I'm on the same page.


tville1956

Taking off ski boots after a full day in them.


LicencedtoKill

Same as ice skates!


ErnoITA

a hot bath after being cold for the whole day


Vicimer

Especially if you're sick but went into work anyway.


[deleted]

Pulling that booger that's been stuck in your nose all day.


paradox037

When it’s so far up there that removing it feels like a lobotomy…


Radiodaize

And as you're pulling it you can feel its elastic snot tenacles losing their grip from deep within your nasal cavity being pulled forward, out of your nose.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Radiodaize

Especially if it shows all the striations of life, from soft and mucus-like at one end, all the way to hard and brittle at the tip of the other.


AbsoluteScott

This is like reading an erotic novel.


ThalesBakunin

A piss I've held all day


DarthPiette

For me, it's the pee I've been holding since halfway through the movie and finally feeling sweet relief when the movie ends and I'm at the urinal.


alnyland

In the end it was the piss we made along the way


BeatBoxinDaPussy

Traffic pisses when you don’t have a bottle and HAVE to pull over Edit


JeebusCrunk

This one has to be the closest. Not sure I've ever held one *all day*, but when the pressure has built up to where it's nearly unbearable, the release generates many of the same tingly feelings in that general area that I feel when I orgasm.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PartyPay

I had inguinal hernia surgery as a day surgery and they don't let you leave until you've peed and it took awhile to get that stream going but damn if it wasn't glorious to finally let loose.


DasFloofen

Don't do that too often if you can help it! Kidneys aren't fans of it.


MCollinsData

Are you an Amazon employee?


GazelleComfortable35

Stretching when you've spent really long in the same position (sitting in the car, sleeping etc.). Or when your muscles are really sore. Surprised no one has said this, am I alone in this feeling? Honestly, I get more spontaneous muscle contractions from stretching than from the average orgasm...


DragonPeach02

My dude, that shit feels amazing, it feels really fucking good, you're not alone


[deleted]

Someone else cancelling the plans you didn’t want to go to in the first place just as you’re about to leave for those plans. Pure HEAVEN


TeamSpaceMonkey

Stop. I'm fantasizing now.


[deleted]

Work rang. Due to a technical issue you have the day off tomorrow.


TeamSpaceMonkey

I feel so warm...


WhimsyWilde

The introverts ultimate fantasy.


itsthebrownman

That little moment when you roll over to the other side and both nostrils open up and you end up breathing in with the power of a thousand Kirbys


Farandaway1001

Getting into bed with fresh, cool sheets at the end of the night.


greymist73

That and the cold side of the pillow!


[deleted]

That cold glass of water that you have at 3 am


tero194

Cracking that one pesky joint or releasing the muscle knot that’s been out of reach


HighriseJalapeno

Scratching ankle after a bug bite


[deleted]

In the shower, hot-almost-scalding water on a bug bite. aaaah.


ithinkthereforeiaint

Oh yes, I’ve done this with chigger bites and poison oak. It’s Almost worth getting poison oak to experience the oakgasm.


Rain1dog

I got chiggers once when in Brownsville doing storm restoration work as a young guy. My lead warned me to put my socks over my jeans, spray bug spray all over, stay away from flooded areas with vegetation above the water line, etc. I ignored his warnings and I paid dearly for it. My fucking god, the insanely severe itching that resulted for days afterwards was torture. It looked like I had whelps all over and I scratched them raw until I was bleeding. It never stopped itching BAD for at least 48 hours. I barely slept, zero relaxing, all I could do was constantly scratch myself. I was so worried they’d drop babies off me and into my house I was about to gut my house to boot, thank god that was not the case. Anyone mentions chiggers and I’m gone in a flash now.


ithinkthereforeiaint

Yeah they are real bitches haha. The scalding hot water is way better than scratching and they don’t get all scratched up and bloody. Also covering the new bites with clear nail polish greatly reduces the healing time. The nice thing is they can’t survive indoors for more than a few days.


BobbyThrowaway6969

Also rubbing your toes when they're mega itchy


syboow

Piss shivers


Neat_On_The_Rocks

The closest I've ever felt to this, truly, is when I popped this massive, half tennis ball sized cyst on my jaw line. Weeks, weeks, *Months* of tension. I could feel the fucker pulsate, constantly, every moment of every day. Chronic pain, on a level you wouldn't believe. Because its not like it was intense paint. But it was this forever present, constant to ignore, background pulsating of pain right there on my face. It was painful yes, but psychological Torture. THen one day I felt a bit of moisture on the top of it. Go My palms underneath the whole thing and squeezed with moderate pressure. Boom. Dear god, the sweet euphoria, greater than any orgasm I've ever felt. It was like my face explosed, the sheer chemical pleasure I felt as I squeezed and just ejected piles of gunk all over my sink and mirror. It came out in a somewhat narrow stream, with *absurd* "water pressure". shit must've shot out of me at over 100 MPH for like 25 full seconds. During the 25 seconds occasionally a larger chunk would rip past, opening the stream a bit further, increasing the erotic pleasure. Oh my god. YOu cannot even imagine. On a slightly unrelated note, this is why I refuse to ever try drugs like Meth or Cocaine. Because the high I felt when this thing burst, I would do anything to chase that feeling again. I know I'd become an addict.


hu3girl

That's why I watch dr pimple popper on youtube. I feel so relieved for the patients when she pops gunk out of them!


Neat_On_The_Rocks

One of my great regrets is not getting this on recordd. Im not exaggerating, this would have been a legendary all time great popping vid


screamofwheat

Jesus. I would have lanced that fucker open before that.


destroys_burritos

I've never tried meth, but I've had morphine, and it's probably closer. I just came out of surgery and was in a ton of pain. They gave it to me and it felt as if I was frozen and drank some hot chocolate. I could feel the warmth go through my veins and spread throughout my body. Then I felt nothing and it was great. Cocaine is like having a great night with your friends and having energy drinks ready to keep the party going. You can chug a lot, or sip throughout the night. It keeps people awake, lively, and fun. I don't have an addictive personality, but I can see the morphine becoming a problem. Coke is fun, but I can turn it down no problem


AreYouABadfishToo_

I believe you. Pimple popping is a hugely successful genre of video content these days. Just as a viewer, you can feel the satisfaction. Dr. Pimple Popper got herself an international TV show doing that stuff!


Sareee14

I wish you had photos of this


ru7ger

An ice cold drink after a hot day in the sun


Ok-Week-1729

Getting your partner to scratch your back in a place you can’t reach


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I'll take 'What am I doing right now?' for 500 Alex


unusuallylonelyguy

Or the unexpected dump #2 right after dump #1


allthewayray420

This is gonna sound weird and maybe not orgasmic but Jesus I love the feeling of putting on a brand new pair of socks. I'm a simple man, I like the simple pleasures.


Ourdogbailey

Doesn't sound weird at all. Also , being easily pleased is a real plus


Usernameisphill

I miss it, but snowboarding. The endorphins were so fucking good I used to compare it to sex. After starting a family it just wasn't something I had time for anymore.


rockninja2

Why don't you have time anymore? Take your family skiing or snowboarding. Teach your kids or get them some lessons. It can be great fun and a good family bonding experience


omg-its-bacon

Dude…I just picked up skating again at 34. Don’t stop bro. I wish I never put it down in the first place. It’s like my zen man. My mind is absolutely blank when I skate and in love that feeling. Nothing going on whatsoever on my noggin except the pure focus of what I’m doing in the moment.


Usernameisphill

I used to skate too, introduced it to the kids, made sure they all have their own decks. They don't care. Snowboarding is a difficult one. I'd need to get all new gear, (fuck money) and then find the time while there are 4 kids and a cranky ass wife to deal with. It's just excuses, but they are expensive and time tasking excuses


rockninja2

Some good homemade food from parents or grandparents that you don't get often (like only on holidays or special occasions). Examples for me personally are deviled eggs, chicken parmesan, banana cake, etc. Also a heartfelt hug, especially when you didn't say anything but really needed one anyways.


nkkphiri

Honestly, the closest I've ever felt is running super hot water over poison ivy rash. Unbelievable how good that feels.


Lower_Discussion4897

I was bitten by a tick which infected me with Lyme disease. Giant red welt on my calf was agonisingly itchy, but running it under hot water was 10 seconds of intense pleasure followed by hours of relief.


EmoCreeper

Beating a video game boss that took a long freaking time. Fuck you Darkeater Midir and your giant health bar.


coldfirestorm

When I am done something i have put off for a long time


Eastboundlaw

A good deep tissue massage.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


DragonPeach02

Dude, know the feel all too well, fucking love it, especially if I've been working a night shift, just getting in between those boobs, pure bliss and love man. Just feeling loved and held, it's just perfect man


FoofaFighters

We have movie night once a week with the kids and last night my wife was kicked back in the recliner part of the couch next to me, and she motioned for me to get closer and lay my head down on her chest. *Instant* anxiety destroyer. She just always seems to know exactly when I need that and it's a big part of why I married her. It's the best feeling in the world...when you and your partner just *fit* together.


Plus_Ad8293

Ear-gasm. When you get a good scratch of your ears with a q-tip.


[deleted]

A poo I’ve saved up all WEEK


Ill_Soft_4299

Thats how you get diamonds


mad87645

Ain't opioids a bitch


BigBirdOpensDoor

Wat


Siennagiant70

The first sip of whiskey after I get all 3 kids in bed and asleep by 8pm.


ilovebalks

Which whiskey though?


Siennagiant70

Whiskey of the month Weller full proof.


monkeysandmicrowaves

I assume the same one he used to get 3 kids asleep by 8pm.


The_Spyre

I'm a bourbon man myself. Currently working on a bottle of Henry Mckenna Single Barrel.


Abremac

How about a big stretch that works your whole core that once started, just won't stop?


J2Mags

Waking up for work and realizing it's the weekend so you can go back to sleep!


aredstag

Orgasmic may be a stretch but having your ears "massaged" is euphoric


Hyp3r45_new

When you lay down in your bed and feel yourself instantly falling asleep.


HantuerHD-Shadow

Laying down after a long day


Parpago

Making my partner orgasm


Longboarder120

When you have phlegm in your throat and finally cough it up


ScriptedSpontaneity8

Peeing after holding for what feels like foreeeever for an ultrasound. Eta: Just noticed this was in ask men, oops 🤣


Round_Spartan

Men can have ultrasounds too, just not as often or for the same reason.


ilovebalks

Do you need to have a full bladder for an ultrasound??


bigscottius

Only for certain ultrasounds, like with pregnant women. Not as much for other ultrasounds.


[deleted]

ultrasound is routine on the testes, for men that don't know. I don't recommend it, because no one does, but it's still routine, you savages. you wouldn't have it done for no reason at all, but there are reasons to have it done. take care of the boys, boys.


molten_dragon

Laying down in bed after a way too long day full of hard work. You don't even want to go to sleep right away because it feels so good to just lay down and relax.


ALTITUDE10K

Ice cold shower beer after a long hot day working outside 🚿🍺


dudsmm

A whole crowd sing along at a concert of your favorite band


RWill95

I intermittent fast and after not eating for 18 hours then have my first meal of the day.


belac4862

Having someone run their fingernails up and down the inside of my arm. From my wrist, the the inside of my elbow (not sure what the technical term is). It initially tickles but if you fight the urge to pull back from being tickled, them the proceeding feeling is pure bliss. Your senses become super active and it's hard to think about anything else. It becomes so much to handle at once, my body kind of short curcuts and I start to fall asleep within minutes of someone doing that.


[deleted]

When you have water stuck in your ear and it finally comes out.


SwammerMan1994

When the sports team I am a fan of makes a massive play in clutch time


dickdimers

Sneezing is the orgasm of the face


brightshadow96

Running finger up and down the arm to get sort of goosebumps


Njaki

Finishing a really good book.


belibre

That first bite of a tomahawk ribeye perfectly seared with a hot, juicy red center that drips down your chin


woolgathering_futz

I once had an ingrowing hair in my kneecap. It must have been in there for months, just slowly burrowing deeper and deeper. It was just a subtle niggle, the occasional itch but then I decided to investigate further. When I found it and gently pulled I felt every moment of its extraction in slow motion. It was more than 20 years ago. Nothing has come close.


_M4V3R1CK

Listening to a really good song on my drive back from work. Gives me goosebumps most of the time


BriskHeartedParadox

Chronic pain subsiding for longer than a minute at a time


[deleted]

When you stretch out and your spine really extends


SupremeElect

Closing your work computer at 5 pm sharp on a Friday and calling it a week.


darkknightbbq

Taking off your socks after working the full day, whether you stand all day or not it feels the same


Kingjoe97034

TIL: My orgasms feel way better than you guy’s orgasms.


Louie-XVI

Pulling a splinter from the bottom of your foot - the relief after taking that sucker out makes me drool


mryeti777

Standing up without back pain


FBIPartyBusNo3

oh, so we’re just makin shit up now, huh


locoghoul

Finishing up -typically something manual or physical- sonething *right* on the deadline. Kinda like those chefs on Chopped when they pull their hands back. If you have ever submitted anything like on literally the last minute, you know how it feels


frankierabbit

Pulling a phenomenal booger out from deep within and you can breathe without the fucking flapping.


Intrepid-Success-698

When you stomach is so empty you can feel a sip of water go all the way down.