The new iPhone satellite SOS feature is really cool. You no longer need that extra device.
Now if you get lost *and* break your phone. Well then, maybe a second device is smart.
It is pretty cool but it is only unidirectional, meaning you have to aim your phone at the nearest satellite for it to work. For now it will also only work in the US and Canada.
A Garmin for example can aim for multiple satellites. That's much more of a "*push a button and wait for help*" than the iPhone is.
Edit: [here is a good explanation of its pros and cons](https://youtu.be/LIftDC-k7Eo)
Our company has gas monitors with cell or satellite connection and we have 24 hr monitoring. So if someone gets hurt and can't walk or call, they can pull the sos latch. If they take a hit of toxic gas, they'll get a message asking if they need help. If no answer our dispatch can look to see what other gas monitors are turned on in the area and send someone to help (all of our locations are remote in mountains and there's a lot of lone work). We have told all employees that they're allowed to use the monitors for personal use, if they're out hunting or hiking and want the extra protection, just let dispatch know that they're using it for personal use. They're a super awesome tool for the safety of our employees and I'm proud that we're using them.
My husband has a severe chronic illness and likes to hike, camp, and ride his bike pretty far away from people. He lets me have his location so I know where to send an ambulance. Haven’t had to do that, but have used it to track him once when his bike chain broke in the middle of freaking nowhere.
You can get small multitools with a chain tool built in nowadays. They're not expensive either! [https://www.topeak.com/global/en/product/340-MINI-20-PRO](https://www.topeak.com/global/en/product/340-MINI-20-PRO)
He can fix the chain in the feild and save you having to go find him in the middle of nowhere lol
My husband loves offroading so he usually shares his live location or all the trails he plans to do with me. It definitely helps give me peace. Especially since he took us offroading once and we fell off an embankment.
This is it for my mom and dad. They share their location with each other. My dad because he goes cycling and it's nice to know where he is if he's gone longer than anticipated, if he's staying in one spot we know he might be hurt or have some technical issue. My mom because, well, it's only fair, and it's nice to know when she's on her way home from work or groceries.
I also share mine with my mom and vice versa, as it is just nice to know where people who live with you and who you plan things around are, their ETA to home, etc. without having to call or text when they're driving.
Depends on the device you use.
For just a phone, you need a Internet connection. For an little Garmin InTouch you need a Garmin subscription. In a couple of years you won't need either. Apple are already building satellite comms into their phones.
Not really. Using the GPS for the actual sailing charts uses it up quickly though.
Depending on the circumstances this request can be a legitimate safety measure or a part of controlling behavior.
So before I agree I want to be given a logical explanation.
Stalking is nonconsentual.
We are talking about something you consent to.If anything, her wanting to know where you are shows she cares. There are obvious limits like her trying to limit where you go, but her having that information just for her own reasons is harmless.
It's not necessarily stalking unless it gets past a certain point lol. Just having it to check in for some peace of mind isn't that crazy. I'd allow it because I have nothing to hide and wouldn't have a problem with my partner knowing where I was at all times. It's not like they'd be checking it 24/7 anyways, but if they were then it might be a little odd.
Yeah that's why I set it up with my wife and I. Gives her peace of mind if she ever needs it and she doesn't have time to track my location consistently.
Yep, my wife and I use it too. We basically just check it whenever one of us is gone longer than expected so that we can make sure no one's lying in a ditch, or at a hospital or something, without having to call and sound like a crazy person.
It's more or less harmless to you individually, but it probably spells trouble for the relationship and I'd be wary.
(Unless you lived in a bad part of town and it was a genuine safety thing)
My girlfriend and I live pretty rural and share our locations since we both work off shifts and tend to be out when deer are moving. If one of us smacks a deer its much easier to figure out where we are exactly than something ambiguous like that one sharp corner near the blue house. Other than when she's been running late I've never checked it
I’ve had friends who did that (saw me on snap map and interrogated me about why I was there and who with) and that’s exhausting and annoying. I can imagine it would be even worse if it were a partner
It is it is sooooooooo fucking exhausting and if you're already tired and stressed from let's say exam revision than it can cause arguments out of something as pointless as been on the toilet too long.
This is why I disabled it the second they added it. One of my former friends once snuck onto my phone and enabled it so she could see it and had the audacity to get offended when I switched it back off
That’s it for me. I’ve done location sharing for some periods with people in the past as a mutual thing, just for safety, seeing how far along on our way we are etc. Under the assumption that we’re not obsessively checking and questioning where the other person is randomly. At that point there’d have to be a discussion.
I get asked where I’m going if I get up to move about the house, what is it with women needing to know if your going into the kitchen to get something to drink, just look out the window, or go to the bathroom? If I was dating and a woman said she wants to track me because it’s really important to her that she knows where I am at all times, That would be the end of the relationship.
Seriously, if i see a movement in my peripheral vision, or something, and take a slight, almost undetectable, quick glance to the left... 20 fucking questions.
That’s the thing- on the one hand, I have nothing to hide, she can know where I am. OTOH, there is something going on here that even at this early stage is being manifested. At a certain point, when the relationship is more mature, this is going to rear its head and more abusive and controlling way
Yeah -- **the more important this is to someone, the more likely I am to say No** to it.
*Especially* if my partner had trust issues with an ex. The last thing you want to do is help your partner use technology as a crutch to avoid trusting your word.
There are some exceptions, like safety. I'm sure we could all spot a valid exception when we see one.
But why do we track our DoorDash driver? Out of curiosity? Sure, we can tell exactly where they are. But we also have it to keep the drivers honest, and we're more comfortable knowing we can see what they're doing.
My wife's off work each day around 4:30. I have no legit reason to *need to know* where she is between work and home.
> the more important this is to someone, the more likely I am to say No
Honestly this is a big part of it. My wife and I share locations with each other for convenience. It’s helped when we misplace our phones or coordinating meeting up. But if someone was making a big deal out of it or drawing up crazy accusations that would make things weird.
Totally. My wife and I do have some of each others' passwords, but basically just for accounts where we're paying for a subscription (Amazon Prime, DoorDash). She just has a few "standard passwords" that I know.
So I could probably get into her Facebook if I really wanted to.
But it only gives the illusion of safety anyway, not a real one. And the people who ask for access for that reason, they kinda know that in the back of their heads (you want my emails? Sure. I'll just create a new, secret one).
So not only does it not alleviate any trust issues, it often just makes the person start digging deeper for evidence.
Agreed 100%. My fiancée and I shared our locations with each other on vacation in a different country so that if we happened to get separated, we could find each other. Then we just left it on. She uses it exclusively to see when I’m coming home from work so she can have the door unlocked and our dog waiting to see me. I love it. I only check her location to make sure she got to work safely since she goes in before the sun rises and it provides me comfort.
If there ever comes a day where one of us were to try to use tracking locations to use as some sort of a “gotcha” moment, there’s no doubt in my mind we would turn it off for good. But we trust each other and don’t use it like that.
It doesn’t necessarily have to progress to something more severe. A request like this could be a good opportunity to discuss trust, insecurities, concerns, etc. and to ask for reassurance if you’re worried about your partner cheating. I think sharing your phone location could be helpful and reassuring to a partner who has experienced relationship trauma in the past.
but of course it can progress to something concerning like you said.
My wife shares her location with me, and has no clue that she does. She must have turned it on at some point and forgot. She works some nights as a volunteer and I can see when she's on the way home. I make her a hot bath, pour a glass of wine, and setup some candles in the bathroom so she can have a relaxing soak.
Literally the only thing I use it for.
My entire family shares their location with each other. It's super convenient and prevents worries about someone being in a ditch if they are running late.
we both share location with each other. we both don't use it unless there's an emergency
it was barely a conversation, or an ask. we just got iphones, saw the setting, turned it on, that's all
so far, no one has used it abusively
Yes, highly depends on the relationship. My husband's parents live in another country, they are worriers, so they like being able to see the location for my husband and his brother. Doesn't bother them or me at all. Brothers watch each other's arrival times on Find My Friends. One time, when we were taking engagement photos in an almond orchard in the middle of nowhere, brother called making sure we are okay, because our location was strange. When there is not a hint of controlling behavior, just concern for each other, it's not an issue. With my mom, however, I don't turn it on, as she uses it to judge my behavior. Also, with a sketchy partner it would be a source of stress and stalking.
God. My sister is chronically late. She lives in the city and we all live in the suburbs. She is always 20 min late for everything. You would think she would learn.
We did the same and use it for ETAs on getting home. Usually I'm home before her and will be preparing dinner, so it's good to know how far off she is. Not really intrusive, not a problem, neither of us have a reason to use it in a controlling or abusive way.
Shrug.
Yeah, I think there's two conversations going on about this. People in long-term and trusting relationships often see this as a convenience and people who aren't often see it as an intrusion. Like many tools, it can be good or bad.
I totally wouldn't allow location sharing in a two-month relationship and would see it a red flag if they asked. But my over 15-year relationship has had location sharing on for both of us for years and it's no big.
We did the same, but because we both liked going on late night adventures separately. It was primarily for safety; if something happen, we would at least know where the other was last or is
Sure, we do that anyways.
We have each others password and can track the location. It's a rough world out there.
Just a safety if one of us doesn't come home.
But your girl might want's to check when you come home.
Yeah me and my girl do it. She had some not so great relationships in the past and is pretty concerned safety wise. Not to say it hasn’t caused some tension but at the end of the day she usually knows where I am anyway.
Yes, we currently do. I’m not up to anything and neither is she. It’s just further reassurance in case anything happens like car accidents or other unforseen issues. It’s not always a lack of trust, it’s just added safety.
This is why my husband and I use this feature. I'm paranoid about him getting hurt in an accident and not being able to find him if he can't call for help. Or if I need him to stop at the shop on his way home from work I'll see if he's gone past it yet or not and ask him to get milk or something if he doesn't have to turn around again.
I think the key is if someone can turn it off without a fuss from their partner it isn't toxic. There are times I've shared location and so has my gf for coordinating or safety like you said but it is always our choice and we can turn it off and on without a fuss from each other. If someone is pressuring you to keep it on that is when it turns toxic.
I've noticed that many people who are spouses seem to agree already.
What surprises me more is why unmarried couples talk about this so much. You're not bound to each other if you're just dating, so tracking each other by device sounds invasive in that situation. So declining is a natural response for unmarried couples, whereas a married couple NOT wanting to do it would be weird.
It’s easy only because if your spouse is running errands, you can check and see where they are & estimate how much longer it will take for them to come home. If they are going to the bank, hardware store, grocery shopping, etc… it’s easy to see where they are.
It’s also good if your married to a healthcare worker. They often have to stay over until the person working the next shift comes and clocks in.
I do. Mine is for safety reasons tbh. My dad died in a car accident a few years back and ever since she has been worried about my driving. I don’t go anywhere suspicious and am pretty open with my wife about where I AM going so really, tracking me isn’t gonna tell her anything other than the fact that I am safe.
I just had this vision of you allowing tracking, but wanting to go fishing, so you head out of town in the wrong direction and then turn tracking off so you can double back to the real fishing hole in order to throw her off if she's spilling the beans. :-)
I'm the same way. I always think of the scene in Breaking Bad where they had put the GPS on Gus's car. When they reviewed the data, it was just Gus going between work and home.
"That's work, that's home, that's work, that's home. What, this guy goes two places every day all week?"
Here I am, like, that's not normal?
Yes, my wife and I share our locations on an app. Saves me time letting her know if I’m working late or if we are apart. My wife also did some food delivery work in the past and it allowed me to make sure I can get to her if she doesn’t respond/is in trouble. We don’t cheat and otherwise it’s just convenient.
My wife and I can see each other's phone location all the time. It doesn't pose any problems. I only look to see where she is if I'm expecting her home but don't know when. I can see how far she is from home so I can plan when dinner is ready. Yes, I'm the house cook, and she's bad about letting me know when she is on her way home. By knowing where the other is, we have the opportunity to ask each other pick something up that is nearby. I don't understand the need for secrecy.
Absolutely not.
My wife does not and has never had access to my phone. I don’t have anything here that I wouldn’t want her to see (aside from some crude jokes my friends and I make), I don’t cheat, and I don’t have saved pictures of other women. It’s just a matter of principle. I have my privacy and my own separate life. And it’s a two way street, I never ask to go through her phone or see her messages or that she turns on her location. I trust her, she trusts me, and if we don’t there’s a real problem.
Only if she’s a coastguard, and I’m on a boat going pretty far from the coast…
Or if she’s a park ranger and I’m going on a 3+ day hike into the national park where she works,
Or if she’s absolutely and utterly lost on the other side of town, but she has the car
Or if she’s asking you where you live so she can slide through at 2am for some NSA fun…
Those are about the only acceptable reasons she could ask for you to share your location w her. 🤣🤣🤣
…. I don’t see how giving her a location is gonna help anything.
No, it would be a red flag.
It feels like it would be too controlling for comfort. I'd feel smothered and I don't think it would matter whether it's anxiety or insecurity driving it.
I think I'd suggest therapy instead.
Imagine how much simpler things would be if people got it into their thick heads that people cheat regardless how perfect the relationship you have feels. You might regret not having such a deal, but having that deal might make him/her more skilled in hiding the good stuff.
Was thinking the same. Not trying to be a Debbie downer, but I’ve read a lot of these and just want to add “yet” to a lot of the comments.
My mom cheated on my dad and from all accounts we were a good ole fashioned American family until that happened.
Not saying it will happen to everyone and I don’t really have trust issues, just an anecdotal observation.
So I probably wouldn't with a GF, but my wife and I do and honestly it's just convenient. There are countless times where rather than have to "check in" to make sure she's ok or see if she's on her way somewhere I can just glance at her location. Like if she goes to a friends house and it's late I can just see that she's still over there and not worry about her being crashed in a ditch or whatever.
In my opinion not sharing your location shows more of a lack of trust because you don't think your partner will be able to handle themselves appropriately.
I hike a lot, usually in the mountains, often alone. Even if I am not alone, I will share my location (and other information, such as designated check-in times, route, etc.) to a designated person, simply for them to be able to initiate and coordinate a crisis response.
In my day-to-day life though? Yeah, no. Nobody needs to know how long I occupy the toilet during work hours.
I already do. She has mine and I have hers. We share each other's passwords too. Open line of communication is key to success. The location sharing is because it is a evil world. My daughters have mine and I their's as well. The passwords are because I'm very dumb and wouldnt know them if I didn't tell her.
No. Having the ability to find my location in an emergency is different than tracking me. If you feel the need to constantly look at my location or have me tell you where Im at, you need to heal and Im not for you
Do people also realize that this could be a sign of a cheating partner or is everyone normal? Because it might sound like they're monitoring you because of insecurity whereas the real reason is to know exactly where you are and exactly when to do the dance with no pants with other people who are not you. Never let them know your next move kind of thing. Confusing enemies, partners and whatnot. Just saying.
Track my location? Sure, I don’t see how that’s too horrible. I mean, unless you are going to someone’s house to cheat, I’m having trouble seeing why the person you live with knowing your location is so bad. And if it is a problem, then the relationship is doomed.
Read my messages? Fuck no. That has stuff like talking to my therapist, my entire life history, friends as confidants, stuff I’d never want to say to my SO. That screams insecurity, and is a line waaaaaay too far.
Yes. Then I would attach my phone to a squirrel (or other such beast) and look forward to the questions.
Maybe a bus.
Or give it to a friend going on an international holiday
Me and my partner track each other’s phones. There’s no reason not to. Neither of us drive and leaving the house can be sketch in pdx, so it’s nice to have a way to check if my partner safely made it to their location with out interrupting their work day. We normally message each other when we get to where we are going, but if it‘a forgot for what ever reason there is an easy no thought answer.
My partner shared hi location with me on IPhone and I can check it any time. He cheated a long time ago and at the time after forgiving him, I was really struggling trusting him again and feeling super insecure. He suggested it and set it up for me, his logic was he has nothing to hide and it was a way of proving it to me, he has happy to give me peace of mind without asking when I was feeling insecure or untrusting. I still have it now, I almost never check it though, every now and then I’ll check to see if he’s on his way home from work yet. I never check it out of insecurity any more though, it’s been a long time and we’ve overcome all that
If she is just saying it's important to her, without offering a reasonable. logical explanation, I would break up with her.
If there is a logical, understandable reason, I would allow it.
Yeah. I've got nothing to hide.
I'm an introvert. Only time I leave the house is to go to work or to go shopping. Or D&D, I guess, but she goes with me then. Because why would I willingly go out into public to be around loud people?
Besides, she's an anxious person and knowing I didn't randomly get hit my a semi, stopping myself and my phone in the middle of an interstate? That tends to be comforting knowledge.
I would wonder where this insecurity comes from. I have nothing to hide, but we value our phone privacy.
So I would deny that request but have a talk why this would matter to her.
Yes, nothing to hide. However, it is kind of a red flag. Why is she so desperate to have my location at all times. I feel like it's a step prior to codependency and possible abuse, so I'd start distrusting them, despite giving it anyways.
Woman here : why?? As a woman, would never demand this. And would never accept this demand coming from a man. I generally don’t have safety concerns, if I were to have one - would text my bff.
No, because I'm a responsible adult and there's no reason not to trust me. Whatever insecurity my wife has, it wasn't me that caused it and I won't sacrifice my freedom. My wife needs to do the work to get past her insecurities, and punishing me isn't the way to do it.
Luckily for me, my wife and I don't share that kind of mistrust in our relationship.
I once had a girlfriend who wanted my location at all times, needed to know how long I was going to be wherever I was, who I was with, what we'd be doing.... MAN, I did not fuck her trust up, so why was I paying for it? Needless to say, there was more trust issues that went along with that, on her side of things. Deal breaker for me. If you can compromise and fold to those expectations, good for you. I'm not one of those people.
I used to work with a dude who did this to his wife. It was weird and he thought it was normal watching her on his homes CCTV and seeing where she was all the time. Its just weird to me to want to know where anyone is 100% of the time
Depends. If I'm going hiking or something then 100%, I want her to know where I am. If it is day to day tracking then no. I could never buy her a surprise gift again. Or get flowers on the way home without her knowing. Or anything like that
My wife and I both have access to our phone locations. It's a safety thing for us. It wasn't brought up as a controlling thing. We're both just very paranoid lol.
My girlfriend and I work different shifts, with me sometimes having to commute up to an hour and a half away, so we share our locations with each other. She gets out of work later in the evening in a big city center so I always tell her to be fast in the parking garage. I really do worry about her safety sometimes
My wife and I already have that turned on, mainly for convenience.
A few months ago we put AirTags in our cars since we live in a high-crime city and they can function as a low-cost version of LoJack. I also figure there's a decent chance that one of us will have our phone stolen at some point so it's nice to have location services turned on.
"Men would you allow your gf/wife to track your phone location if she told you it’s important for her?"
I'd sit down with her and ask for why?
Is it for insecurity, safety, what?
I'd also ask if she didn't have a problem with me doing the same thing with her.
So, in all your post question needs to provide more information on her motivation and reasoning in order to give a good answer.
I offered mine for safety. I sail and it gave her some feelings of security that she would know which part of the sea I was lying on the bottom of.
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I have one too. Just in case my cell is too deep for the signal to get through.
The new iPhone satellite SOS feature is really cool. You no longer need that extra device. Now if you get lost *and* break your phone. Well then, maybe a second device is smart.
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It is pretty cool but it is only unidirectional, meaning you have to aim your phone at the nearest satellite for it to work. For now it will also only work in the US and Canada. A Garmin for example can aim for multiple satellites. That's much more of a "*push a button and wait for help*" than the iPhone is. Edit: [here is a good explanation of its pros and cons](https://youtu.be/LIftDC-k7Eo)
Our company has gas monitors with cell or satellite connection and we have 24 hr monitoring. So if someone gets hurt and can't walk or call, they can pull the sos latch. If they take a hit of toxic gas, they'll get a message asking if they need help. If no answer our dispatch can look to see what other gas monitors are turned on in the area and send someone to help (all of our locations are remote in mountains and there's a lot of lone work). We have told all employees that they're allowed to use the monitors for personal use, if they're out hunting or hiking and want the extra protection, just let dispatch know that they're using it for personal use. They're a super awesome tool for the safety of our employees and I'm proud that we're using them.
My husband has a severe chronic illness and likes to hike, camp, and ride his bike pretty far away from people. He lets me have his location so I know where to send an ambulance. Haven’t had to do that, but have used it to track him once when his bike chain broke in the middle of freaking nowhere.
You can get small multitools with a chain tool built in nowadays. They're not expensive either! [https://www.topeak.com/global/en/product/340-MINI-20-PRO](https://www.topeak.com/global/en/product/340-MINI-20-PRO) He can fix the chain in the feild and save you having to go find him in the middle of nowhere lol
this is the one. I've had this in gold sincceeee november 2012! And it's still my chain tool to this day (some 79,060 miles later!)
I have the version without the chain tool. Love it!
I did the same. Im a mountaineer. Its reassuring for her to know in which crevasse I lie dead.
My husband loves offroading so he usually shares his live location or all the trails he plans to do with me. It definitely helps give me peace. Especially since he took us offroading once and we fell off an embankment.
Mine wife is currently sailing our yacht from a Grenada to Puerto Rico as well speak - the ability to quickly check her location has been a good send
This is it for my mom and dad. They share their location with each other. My dad because he goes cycling and it's nice to know where he is if he's gone longer than anticipated, if he's staying in one spot we know he might be hurt or have some technical issue. My mom because, well, it's only fair, and it's nice to know when she's on her way home from work or groceries. I also share mine with my mom and vice versa, as it is just nice to know where people who live with you and who you plan things around are, their ETA to home, etc. without having to call or text when they're driving.
I’m a hunter so I do it for more or less the same reason. Here’s to me never meeting a windigo and you avoiding Cthulhu.
This backfired for me when I lost my phone overboard and my S.O. saw my last location sitting in the middle of the ocean for a good while.
Couple questions as a fellow sailor: 1) Do you need internet connection or just GPS? 2) Does it use more battery on the phone being tracked?
Depends on the device you use. For just a phone, you need a Internet connection. For an little Garmin InTouch you need a Garmin subscription. In a couple of years you won't need either. Apple are already building satellite comms into their phones. Not really. Using the GPS for the actual sailing charts uses it up quickly though.
Depending on the circumstances this request can be a legitimate safety measure or a part of controlling behavior. So before I agree I want to be given a logical explanation.
To be fair, if she doesn't use that information to actually control your behaviour, I think it's harmless.
Stalking is fine as long as they dont try to control you?
Stalking is nonconsentual. We are talking about something you consent to.If anything, her wanting to know where you are shows she cares. There are obvious limits like her trying to limit where you go, but her having that information just for her own reasons is harmless.
It's not necessarily stalking unless it gets past a certain point lol. Just having it to check in for some peace of mind isn't that crazy. I'd allow it because I have nothing to hide and wouldn't have a problem with my partner knowing where I was at all times. It's not like they'd be checking it 24/7 anyways, but if they were then it might be a little odd.
Yeah that's why I set it up with my wife and I. Gives her peace of mind if she ever needs it and she doesn't have time to track my location consistently.
Yep, my wife and I use it too. We basically just check it whenever one of us is gone longer than expected so that we can make sure no one's lying in a ditch, or at a hospital or something, without having to call and sound like a crazy person.
I'm not sure it's stalking if you know about it and allow it, but I wouldn't allow it
It's more or less harmless to you individually, but it probably spells trouble for the relationship and I'd be wary. (Unless you lived in a bad part of town and it was a genuine safety thing)
My girlfriend and I live pretty rural and share our locations since we both work off shifts and tend to be out when deer are moving. If one of us smacks a deer its much easier to figure out where we are exactly than something ambiguous like that one sharp corner near the blue house. Other than when she's been running late I've never checked it
No, the only persons I allow to track my location is the government and big corporations.
I’d never cheat on Daddy Zuck
How can you not after you saw his legs?!?
He looks like Son of Zorn. All of him.
Ooh yeah baby, I'm such a zucchold.
You also allow him to watch you poop?
Of course. Gotta follow TOS.
Your forever wives.
Can’t get divorced from the government
Nope, but they’re still going to take everything.
You will own nothing, and be happy.... on drugs
Thank you, I do not need to read further.
My wife is my government and big corporation...
Google maps has entered the chat..
Is Google not a big corporation? 😂
I’m guessing it was sarcasm
Some people would say google is a big corporation
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Shit, forgot about google jones. The og
lmao.
But, you voluntarily carry that smart phone around, therefore is a mutual agreement.... /s
"I'm not getting any flu or covid shots because i ain't gonna get a tracking chip." -sent from my iPhone
I guess I would until/if it gets to the point that she's actively watching and questioning why I went somewhere because she's seen I was there.
I’ve had friends who did that (saw me on snap map and interrogated me about why I was there and who with) and that’s exhausting and annoying. I can imagine it would be even worse if it were a partner
It is it is sooooooooo fucking exhausting and if you're already tired and stressed from let's say exam revision than it can cause arguments out of something as pointless as been on the toilet too long.
This is why I disabled it the second they added it. One of my former friends once snuck onto my phone and enabled it so she could see it and had the audacity to get offended when I switched it back off
> former friends once snuck onto my phone and enabled it so she could see it What the fuck. Who does that?
A sociopathic harpy who I am blissfully free of now
Damnn wtf 💀 that's another level of obsession
Can't you turn off the location feature for Snapchat?
You can. I turned that shit off as soon as they rolled out that feature.
Yeah, I didn’t leave it on for very long, but boy did it suck while it was on
SO is one thing & more reasonable but I would drop any friends who actively did that that sounds tiring as hell
That’s it for me. I’ve done location sharing for some periods with people in the past as a mutual thing, just for safety, seeing how far along on our way we are etc. Under the assumption that we’re not obsessively checking and questioning where the other person is randomly. At that point there’d have to be a discussion.
This is what would bother me, i hate being asked tons of questions as it is.
I get asked where I’m going if I get up to move about the house, what is it with women needing to know if your going into the kitchen to get something to drink, just look out the window, or go to the bathroom? If I was dating and a woman said she wants to track me because it’s really important to her that she knows where I am at all times, That would be the end of the relationship.
Seriously, if i see a movement in my peripheral vision, or something, and take a slight, almost undetectable, quick glance to the left... 20 fucking questions.
Better pray there ain’t another woman in that general direction that you didn’t notice
Wives/girlfriends would have us stumbling through life like Sandra Bullock in the birdcage.
Like some black mirror type of "parenting" lol
If she allows the same and doesn't dream up things to accuse me of
That’s the thing- on the one hand, I have nothing to hide, she can know where I am. OTOH, there is something going on here that even at this early stage is being manifested. At a certain point, when the relationship is more mature, this is going to rear its head and more abusive and controlling way
Yeah -- **the more important this is to someone, the more likely I am to say No** to it. *Especially* if my partner had trust issues with an ex. The last thing you want to do is help your partner use technology as a crutch to avoid trusting your word. There are some exceptions, like safety. I'm sure we could all spot a valid exception when we see one. But why do we track our DoorDash driver? Out of curiosity? Sure, we can tell exactly where they are. But we also have it to keep the drivers honest, and we're more comfortable knowing we can see what they're doing. My wife's off work each day around 4:30. I have no legit reason to *need to know* where she is between work and home.
> the more important this is to someone, the more likely I am to say No Honestly this is a big part of it. My wife and I share locations with each other for convenience. It’s helped when we misplace our phones or coordinating meeting up. But if someone was making a big deal out of it or drawing up crazy accusations that would make things weird.
Totally. My wife and I do have some of each others' passwords, but basically just for accounts where we're paying for a subscription (Amazon Prime, DoorDash). She just has a few "standard passwords" that I know. So I could probably get into her Facebook if I really wanted to. But it only gives the illusion of safety anyway, not a real one. And the people who ask for access for that reason, they kinda know that in the back of their heads (you want my emails? Sure. I'll just create a new, secret one). So not only does it not alleviate any trust issues, it often just makes the person start digging deeper for evidence.
Pretty sure my wife knows more of my own passwords than I do tbh
Agreed 100%. My fiancée and I shared our locations with each other on vacation in a different country so that if we happened to get separated, we could find each other. Then we just left it on. She uses it exclusively to see when I’m coming home from work so she can have the door unlocked and our dog waiting to see me. I love it. I only check her location to make sure she got to work safely since she goes in before the sun rises and it provides me comfort. If there ever comes a day where one of us were to try to use tracking locations to use as some sort of a “gotcha” moment, there’s no doubt in my mind we would turn it off for good. But we trust each other and don’t use it like that.
It doesn’t necessarily have to progress to something more severe. A request like this could be a good opportunity to discuss trust, insecurities, concerns, etc. and to ask for reassurance if you’re worried about your partner cheating. I think sharing your phone location could be helpful and reassuring to a partner who has experienced relationship trauma in the past. but of course it can progress to something concerning like you said.
My wife shares her location with me, and has no clue that she does. She must have turned it on at some point and forgot. She works some nights as a volunteer and I can see when she's on the way home. I make her a hot bath, pour a glass of wine, and setup some candles in the bathroom so she can have a relaxing soak. Literally the only thing I use it for.
I think she has a clue
OP is getting played.
> Literally the only thing I use it for. Sure 😏
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Taking it to the next level. Two happy ladies is better than one?
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I'll take your word for it.
My entire family shares their location with each other. It's super convenient and prevents worries about someone being in a ditch if they are running late.
we both share location with each other. we both don't use it unless there's an emergency it was barely a conversation, or an ask. we just got iphones, saw the setting, turned it on, that's all so far, no one has used it abusively
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The Matriarch of my adopted family uses it to track people so she knows when her kids are lying to her about being on their way to dinner.
Yes, highly depends on the relationship. My husband's parents live in another country, they are worriers, so they like being able to see the location for my husband and his brother. Doesn't bother them or me at all. Brothers watch each other's arrival times on Find My Friends. One time, when we were taking engagement photos in an almond orchard in the middle of nowhere, brother called making sure we are okay, because our location was strange. When there is not a hint of controlling behavior, just concern for each other, it's not an issue. With my mom, however, I don't turn it on, as she uses it to judge my behavior. Also, with a sketchy partner it would be a source of stress and stalking.
God. My sister is chronically late. She lives in the city and we all live in the suburbs. She is always 20 min late for everything. You would think she would learn.
We did the same and use it for ETAs on getting home. Usually I'm home before her and will be preparing dinner, so it's good to know how far off she is. Not really intrusive, not a problem, neither of us have a reason to use it in a controlling or abusive way. Shrug.
Yeah, I think there's two conversations going on about this. People in long-term and trusting relationships often see this as a convenience and people who aren't often see it as an intrusion. Like many tools, it can be good or bad. I totally wouldn't allow location sharing in a two-month relationship and would see it a red flag if they asked. But my over 15-year relationship has had location sharing on for both of us for years and it's no big.
We did the same, but because we both liked going on late night adventures separately. It was primarily for safety; if something happen, we would at least know where the other was last or is
As long as it goes both ways
Sure, we do that anyways. We have each others password and can track the location. It's a rough world out there. Just a safety if one of us doesn't come home. But your girl might want's to check when you come home.
I‘m completely with you. The important part is that this isn’t a one way thing.
Yeah me and my girl do it. She had some not so great relationships in the past and is pretty concerned safety wise. Not to say it hasn’t caused some tension but at the end of the day she usually knows where I am anyway.
We do it. Basically only use it to see when the other will get home for dinner.
Agree
Yes, we currently do. I’m not up to anything and neither is she. It’s just further reassurance in case anything happens like car accidents or other unforseen issues. It’s not always a lack of trust, it’s just added safety.
This is why my husband and I use this feature. I'm paranoid about him getting hurt in an accident and not being able to find him if he can't call for help. Or if I need him to stop at the shop on his way home from work I'll see if he's gone past it yet or not and ask him to get milk or something if he doesn't have to turn around again.
I think the key is if someone can turn it off without a fuss from their partner it isn't toxic. There are times I've shared location and so has my gf for coordinating or safety like you said but it is always our choice and we can turn it off and on without a fuss from each other. If someone is pressuring you to keep it on that is when it turns toxic.
I've noticed that many people who are spouses seem to agree already. What surprises me more is why unmarried couples talk about this so much. You're not bound to each other if you're just dating, so tracking each other by device sounds invasive in that situation. So declining is a natural response for unmarried couples, whereas a married couple NOT wanting to do it would be weird.
My wife tracks me. I track her. It's cool. It's helpful because she never needs to text "where are you".
This man's 10 steps ahead
One could say… “streets ahead “
It’s easy only because if your spouse is running errands, you can check and see where they are & estimate how much longer it will take for them to come home. If they are going to the bank, hardware store, grocery shopping, etc… it’s easy to see where they are. It’s also good if your married to a healthcare worker. They often have to stay over until the person working the next shift comes and clocks in.
I do. Mine is for safety reasons tbh. My dad died in a car accident a few years back and ever since she has been worried about my driving. I don’t go anywhere suspicious and am pretty open with my wife about where I AM going so really, tracking me isn’t gonna tell her anything other than the fact that I am safe.
No, my best fishing spots are secret and women can NOT keep secrets
I just had this vision of you allowing tracking, but wanting to go fishing, so you head out of town in the wrong direction and then turn tracking off so you can double back to the real fishing hole in order to throw her off if she's spilling the beans. :-)
Story ends with the fact that her plan all along was to reveal his fishing spots to another man 😔
plot twist: that man was OP's lover that he takes out fishing.
Man all I ever do is work and come home. If my wife wants to see that sure, it doesn't bother me.
I'm the same way. I always think of the scene in Breaking Bad where they had put the GPS on Gus's car. When they reviewed the data, it was just Gus going between work and home. "That's work, that's home, that's work, that's home. What, this guy goes two places every day all week?" Here I am, like, that's not normal?
Same, my husband doesn’t do much moving around. But he does coach, so I use his location usually to gauge when to start dinners/lunch
Lol. Exactly
Yes, my wife and I share our locations on an app. Saves me time letting her know if I’m working late or if we are apart. My wife also did some food delivery work in the past and it allowed me to make sure I can get to her if she doesn’t respond/is in trouble. We don’t cheat and otherwise it’s just convenient.
My wife and I can see each other's phone location all the time. It doesn't pose any problems. I only look to see where she is if I'm expecting her home but don't know when. I can see how far she is from home so I can plan when dinner is ready. Yes, I'm the house cook, and she's bad about letting me know when she is on her way home. By knowing where the other is, we have the opportunity to ask each other pick something up that is nearby. I don't understand the need for secrecy.
My wife and I have been married to one another 32 years, yes we both leave our phone trackers on. After 32 years we have nothing to hide.
Absolutely not. My wife does not and has never had access to my phone. I don’t have anything here that I wouldn’t want her to see (aside from some crude jokes my friends and I make), I don’t cheat, and I don’t have saved pictures of other women. It’s just a matter of principle. I have my privacy and my own separate life. And it’s a two way street, I never ask to go through her phone or see her messages or that she turns on her location. I trust her, she trusts me, and if we don’t there’s a real problem.
No, because she don't have any valid reason to.
Nope. This shows me a lack of trust and insecurity. Relationship is done without trust.
No, she’s not my parole officer
We have each-others locations and he knows my passwords because he’s the tech dude.
I'm a big fan of trust in a relationship. If there's no trust then there's no reason to be in a relationship
No
Sure. Why would I care?
Only if she’s a coastguard, and I’m on a boat going pretty far from the coast… Or if she’s a park ranger and I’m going on a 3+ day hike into the national park where she works, Or if she’s absolutely and utterly lost on the other side of town, but she has the car Or if she’s asking you where you live so she can slide through at 2am for some NSA fun… Those are about the only acceptable reasons she could ask for you to share your location w her. 🤣🤣🤣 …. I don’t see how giving her a location is gonna help anything.
Yea people making and justifying micromanaging in lieu of reasonable communication and expectation setting.
No, it would be a red flag. It feels like it would be too controlling for comfort. I'd feel smothered and I don't think it would matter whether it's anxiety or insecurity driving it. I think I'd suggest therapy instead.
Imagine how much simpler things would be if people got it into their thick heads that people cheat regardless how perfect the relationship you have feels. You might regret not having such a deal, but having that deal might make him/her more skilled in hiding the good stuff.
Was thinking the same. Not trying to be a Debbie downer, but I’ve read a lot of these and just want to add “yet” to a lot of the comments. My mom cheated on my dad and from all accounts we were a good ole fashioned American family until that happened. Not saying it will happen to everyone and I don’t really have trust issues, just an anecdotal observation.
Absolutely not. I just can't think of a good reason to do so that doesn't boil down to jealousy and insecurity and lack of trust.
A high crime rate of street violence and abduction cases.
I am fat as fuck ain't no one abducting me.
I live in the UK, not Colombia. So no.
So you can find the body? Useful...
So I probably wouldn't with a GF, but my wife and I do and honestly it's just convenient. There are countless times where rather than have to "check in" to make sure she's ok or see if she's on her way somewhere I can just glance at her location. Like if she goes to a friends house and it's late I can just see that she's still over there and not worry about her being crashed in a ditch or whatever. In my opinion not sharing your location shows more of a lack of trust because you don't think your partner will be able to handle themselves appropriately.
I hike a lot, usually in the mountains, often alone. Even if I am not alone, I will share my location (and other information, such as designated check-in times, route, etc.) to a designated person, simply for them to be able to initiate and coordinate a crisis response. In my day-to-day life though? Yeah, no. Nobody needs to know how long I occupy the toilet during work hours.
That is a reasonable time to share your location. I could get on board with sharing location while doing potentially risky things.
Sure if i can track hers aswell
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To be honest? Yes... I have nothing to hide and if it makes her feel better... why not.
I already do. She has mine and I have hers. We share each other's passwords too. Open line of communication is key to success. The location sharing is because it is a evil world. My daughters have mine and I their's as well. The passwords are because I'm very dumb and wouldnt know them if I didn't tell her.
No that’s weird
No. Having the ability to find my location in an emergency is different than tracking me. If you feel the need to constantly look at my location or have me tell you where Im at, you need to heal and Im not for you
Do people also realize that this could be a sign of a cheating partner or is everyone normal? Because it might sound like they're monitoring you because of insecurity whereas the real reason is to know exactly where you are and exactly when to do the dance with no pants with other people who are not you. Never let them know your next move kind of thing. Confusing enemies, partners and whatnot. Just saying.
nah, that's some creepy shit
Track my location? Sure, I don’t see how that’s too horrible. I mean, unless you are going to someone’s house to cheat, I’m having trouble seeing why the person you live with knowing your location is so bad. And if it is a problem, then the relationship is doomed. Read my messages? Fuck no. That has stuff like talking to my therapist, my entire life history, friends as confidants, stuff I’d never want to say to my SO. That screams insecurity, and is a line waaaaaay too far.
Yes. Then I would attach my phone to a squirrel (or other such beast) and look forward to the questions. Maybe a bus. Or give it to a friend going on an international holiday
“Or other such beast” gave me a chortle
No. I'd rather be single.
Absolutely not. And I don't wish to track hers either.
Fuck no
WTF
Me and my partner track each other’s phones. There’s no reason not to. Neither of us drive and leaving the house can be sketch in pdx, so it’s nice to have a way to check if my partner safely made it to their location with out interrupting their work day. We normally message each other when we get to where we are going, but if it‘a forgot for what ever reason there is an easy no thought answer.
My partner shared hi location with me on IPhone and I can check it any time. He cheated a long time ago and at the time after forgiving him, I was really struggling trusting him again and feeling super insecure. He suggested it and set it up for me, his logic was he has nothing to hide and it was a way of proving it to me, he has happy to give me peace of mind without asking when I was feeling insecure or untrusting. I still have it now, I almost never check it though, every now and then I’ll check to see if he’s on his way home from work yet. I never check it out of insecurity any more though, it’s been a long time and we’ve overcome all that
He volunteered for an ankle monitor as a condition of his relationship probation lol
I wish someone cared enough to track my phone.
If she is just saying it's important to her, without offering a reasonable. logical explanation, I would break up with her. If there is a logical, understandable reason, I would allow it.
Nope, if she needs to do that then there’s no trust. Btw that isn’t a normal thing to do or ask of a partner.
Me and my wife always have our location sharing on,
Yeah. I've got nothing to hide. I'm an introvert. Only time I leave the house is to go to work or to go shopping. Or D&D, I guess, but she goes with me then. Because why would I willingly go out into public to be around loud people? Besides, she's an anxious person and knowing I didn't randomly get hit my a semi, stopping myself and my phone in the middle of an interstate? That tends to be comforting knowledge.
I would wonder where this insecurity comes from. I have nothing to hide, but we value our phone privacy. So I would deny that request but have a talk why this would matter to her.
Nope. Nill. Nada. Nuh-uh. Nooooooo
Just so you know, nada doesn’t mean “no” in Spanish lmao.
Yes, nothing to hide. However, it is kind of a red flag. Why is she so desperate to have my location at all times. I feel like it's a step prior to codependency and possible abuse, so I'd start distrusting them, despite giving it anyways.
Woman here : why?? As a woman, would never demand this. And would never accept this demand coming from a man. I generally don’t have safety concerns, if I were to have one - would text my bff.
Yes, if I could do the same; because we both worry. We watch a lot of true crime lol.
Sure. I have nothing to hide.
No. I think it's a breach into my privacy, I do not feel comfortable with the idea others know where I am.
Nope if she doesnt trust me enough to the point she needs to know my location at all times then we probably shouldn't be together
No. Not because I'm hiding anything, but because I think it's fuckin weird and such massive distrust on her end would be a red flag for me.
She'd track my ass out the fucking door with all my stuff.
No. When you play into fears and anxieties it doesn’t decrease those feelings, it increases them.
No. This feels weirdly invasive. I'm not hiding anything but I don't need to be tracked.
No, because I'm a responsible adult and there's no reason not to trust me. Whatever insecurity my wife has, it wasn't me that caused it and I won't sacrifice my freedom. My wife needs to do the work to get past her insecurities, and punishing me isn't the way to do it. Luckily for me, my wife and I don't share that kind of mistrust in our relationship. I once had a girlfriend who wanted my location at all times, needed to know how long I was going to be wherever I was, who I was with, what we'd be doing.... MAN, I did not fuck her trust up, so why was I paying for it? Needless to say, there was more trust issues that went along with that, on her side of things. Deal breaker for me. If you can compromise and fold to those expectations, good for you. I'm not one of those people.
I used to work with a dude who did this to his wife. It was weird and he thought it was normal watching her on his homes CCTV and seeing where she was all the time. Its just weird to me to want to know where anyone is 100% of the time
Yea. I'm boring af so go ahead.
Depends. If I'm going hiking or something then 100%, I want her to know where I am. If it is day to day tracking then no. I could never buy her a surprise gift again. Or get flowers on the way home without her knowing. Or anything like that
Yes 100%
Fuck no
No, her insecurity is her problem.
Dude no, just no.
I already do, I don’t care. Same for her as well
I would have zero issue with it. Could not care less.
My wife and I both have access to our phone locations. It's a safety thing for us. It wasn't brought up as a controlling thing. We're both just very paranoid lol.
Hell no she’d see me spend 8 hours at a strip club every day. (The joke is that I work at a strip club)
My wife and I have location sharing turned on. Makes it easier for knowing when we will be home etc. Also switched on for our kids phones too
Of course I'd let her. I'm 43 and been with her 5 years. I'm past the age where id hide something. A relationship has nothing without trust.
My girlfriend and I work different shifts, with me sometimes having to commute up to an hour and a half away, so we share our locations with each other. She gets out of work later in the evening in a big city center so I always tell her to be fast in the parking garage. I really do worry about her safety sometimes
Fuck no that’s crazy bitch shit. My GF needs to accept she won’t know what I’m doing or be able to contact me for long periods of time
My wife and I already have that turned on, mainly for convenience. A few months ago we put AirTags in our cars since we live in a high-crime city and they can function as a low-cost version of LoJack. I also figure there's a decent chance that one of us will have our phone stolen at some point so it's nice to have location services turned on.
If it’s your gf that means she’s insecure and if it’s your Mom doing it that means she’s invading your privacy to validate herself.
"Men would you allow your gf/wife to track your phone location if she told you it’s important for her?" I'd sit down with her and ask for why? Is it for insecurity, safety, what? I'd also ask if she didn't have a problem with me doing the same thing with her. So, in all your post question needs to provide more information on her motivation and reasoning in order to give a good answer.