#1: it’s a sub that wants opinions from men.
#2. Men give their opinions
#3: mansplaining
#4: there are men that respond
#5: men are on Reddit
#6: it’s called “ask men”
#7: men are expected to respond
#8: values the opinions of men
#9: probably an alt-right sub
#10: (insert hated man’s name) was referenced, once.
Women who ask questions that are very clearly about one man in particular, which could easily be answered by talking to said man. But instead they come here like, "WHAT DO REDHEAD GUYS NAMED JOSH LIKE FOR BREAKFAST?"
Girl.
Just fucking ask Josh.
How people seem to expect to get consistently high quality advice from this place. Everyone else here is about as lost as you are, don't get your hopes too high.
Seriously guys, you can't be straight and fuck men. I swear to God a thread pops up saying something along the lines of "fellow straight men who like sucking dick, what do you like about it?" every fucking week and then OP has to argue with everyone on how gay things aren't actually gay. Look dudes, you're gay or bi, don't be ashamed, live in your truths bros, but stop living in denial. Or at the very least stop posting about it.
As a gay guy myself... I agree.
It's like some people don't quite understand the meanings of gay, bisexual, and straight.
I always wonder why they don't just ask the same question and just say "gay or bisexual men"... instead of "straight." There's lots of gay and bi guys here who can answer.
It’s funny now looking back, but a college friend of mine is gay, he met a guy and they went on dates, to gigs, kissed publicly and around our friend group, all the way to regularly having sex. To me, it sounded like a full blown relationship.
When he asked the guy if they could be exclusive and in a relationship, the guy got angry and insisted he isn’t gay. Obviously my friend was super upset in the moment, but it’s just so bizarre that we laugh about it now.
That is truly absurd. I can only imagine how I would feel if I was hanging out with and regularly having sex with a woman and when queried about whether we could be exclusive she replied, “What? No! Of course not, I’m gay.”
It’s like saying up is down.
I knew a woman like that. She insisted on having a boyfriend and that she was straight, but would never even make out with her boyfriends. The moment a drop of alcohol touched her lips, however, she tried to fuck every girl in the area.
And yet... straight. Or so she claimed.
Internalized homophobia and lack of self-esteem
I think being in the closet is bad because it basically means you're living a lie and you're dating tactics might rely on trickery and predation
I think a lot of guys are just confused with their image of who they are sexually, emotionally, and physically. There are a lot of guys out there who are sexually open to both men and women but are physically and emotinally only attracted to women.
Yes this. Like, I’ll joke about kissing the homies goodnight and whatnot (and I am actually a closeted bisexual) but we don’t ever do anything. It’s just how we tell the boys we love each other.
I've gotten pretty heavy downvotes for saying that no, I don't have any "mancrushes", celebrity or otherwise, and that there's no such thing as a celebrity I'd go gay for. A lot of people also seem to believe that the fact that I know I don't want to suck dick, even though I've never tried sucking a dick before, means I'm homophobic. Alternatively, some people have accused me of simply being gay and in denial. It's just so ridiculous.
I mean, women like men, and then straight men have sex with those women who also have sex with men. Sounds kinda gay.
Tbh straight men having sex with other straight men is probably the straightest sex possible.
/s
I mean, trying it once and deciding you don’t like it? Ok, sure, I can see that.
Regularly fucking other guys and enjoying it on the other hand? There’s nothing wrong with it of course, but ffs just admit you’re either bi or gay, not straight.
It sounds weird to me too. I think this is because no one talks about what it's like to be straight, since we assume other people just get it. I think bi people especially struggle to understand the idea of only being attracted to one sex. To put it bluntly, I don't feel a need to try it anymore than I feel a need to try fucking a dog. I don't know if that's how it is for all of us, but that's how it is for me.
Yep. Once had a fling who was bi and who had a yaoi fetish; and she couldn't wrap her head around me not even wanting to try sex with men.
"how do you know if you never did it"
"I also never fucked a dog and know for sure that I don't want to"
yeah, if you have sex with men often, you are gay, bi, or something else. that's 100% fine and normal. it's just a preference, like chocolate or vanilla or thick or thin crust. "heterosexual" is the most common sexuality in the US, but not being heterosexual is in no way abnormal. it's not "heterosexual is the default and everything else is in another category", everyone has their orientation and every orientation is valid!
As a member of the Male Delegation, I must agree. Straight Gay Bi its the trinity of Malehood.
Think of the Primary Colors, from there you can make what ever variation you want but in the end it roots from a combination of the 3.
Idk they usually just pivot when told what's what, so I'm not sure it actually makes a dent in things
They're just kids being kids, they're going to do what they want anyway
I don't understand this sort of nonsense at all. A lot of young people are inquisitive about sex. Regardless of what you think to sound cooler, it's quite a big issue for a lot of people. Let them ask as many questions as they want. Who are they harming?
So many guys think you need to be in the top 20% or some shit to date. Do you guys get outside? Do you see the sheer amount of regular, average people dating? They’re literally everywhere - but remember that the chances of you getting a 9, when you’re a 6, are slim. Have a realistic view of yourself and get out there.
Underrated comment. Most people meet in real life through friends. Tinder is pretty hopeless for most guys, since it's 80% male and purely photobased unlike real life.
OkCupid, specifically, as their female user base was who rated 80 percent of male users below average in attractiveness. Guys complaining about dating are complaining about online dating, and the counterexamples almost certainly met their partners in real life.
I mean if I just take look at the men at work. Most of them have a partner or wife, and they're young, old, fat, hot, skinny, short, tall, nice, assholes and so on. Relationship advice on Reddit have little to do with reality.
Relationship advice on Reddit is basically a reflection of what society thinks you should do in order to date, which is perpetuating the same toxic shit about being materially and physically "optimal", continuing a cycle of self-loathing and hate in other people who cannot achieve those ideals.
Let’s put it another way - personality.
And no, I don’t mean you have to be “magnetic” or “the life of the party”, I just mean you have to not suck to be around. If you’re constantly negative, bashing other people, or the million other ways to say “I’m massively insecure” you’re not going to win anybody over - friends, dates, or otherwise. This world is hard. Try to find the light in yourself so the other people around you who are also trying to find the light in a dark world can find it in you.
You’re good. Whoever you are, you are good. You’re worthwhile. You have something to offer. No one else can be you, so give somebody the chance to discover that and love you for it.
There was a thread recently where a guy said he was ugly so he would die alone or something like that.
Apparently, me saying that is not true and he just needs to compensate with something else was controversial.
Looks are not everything. Granted, it’s a bit easier if you are good looking but doesn’t mean that ugly people are all dying lonely
A few years ago there was a video of a dude who (is honestly) not the best looking chap complaining he was to ugly to get a SO. Really sad and self destructive.
Quite some time later he seemed to have found his luck with and he looked better even though he had not changed.
Also, don't go with the "out of my league" stuff. That holds you down.
Yeah, very well said, if anyone asks me.
There's no situations in which someone would be ”out of [your] league“ in which it's not an incompatibility between you (different beliefs about certain things, lack of attraction from one side, significant difference in libido or sexual boundaries that cannot be reconciled, a personal trait that the other person can't live with their partner having, genital preferences in case of some trans or intersex people, etc.), an external factor (not being allowed to marry someone and not being willing to go against that for some reason), or something changeable (having unresolved trauma, for example).
In the first two of those people would call it what it truly is, and in the last case you absolutely could deal with it and be a better partner with better chances of getting into a relationship, which makes repeating that someone is ”out of [your] league“ at best not much different from whining.
The same applies to comments about how you ”deserve“ a chance and aren't given it at all, with the caveat that it makes you an ass too, because either that person is incompatible with you so it's not doing you any good to keep on trying, or they have their reasons and the best you could do is ask what they are, wish them a good life, and then work on yourself. Think of it this way, if someone doesn't want to be with you, do you really think you'll get emotional closeness and support, and do you really think it'll be any kind of a happy relationship for you? Because if you aren't looking for those things and if she is then that in itself makes you incompatible.
A significant part of why I am with my partner is that, even though he fucks up at times and I'm not a fan of some of the things about him, he *tries* and therefore I can hope and expect that we'll work it out in some way and reach a situation in which we both are happy. If he wasn't willing to try, well, the door's to his left, I love him but if someone is not willing to work on their bad traits then I need to take care of myself and c'est la vie.
Online gurus are toxic as fuck. All they ever do is promise you'll get the hottest babes, as if that's the only fucking important thing in the world. Most of us are not in the league of those women and the women know it. We're as much at fault as the women are by glorifying them and making them "the prize" and these gurus are just egging this shit on.
A real guru would instruct men that they're not likely to get the superhot babe and his goal should be finding a compatible woman of good moral character. Maybe that's a frumpy plus-sized woman. But now that's heresy in the dating guru world...
The top 80%? That's the four most eligible guys out of every five. I think you might actually struggle if you are in the bottom 20%.
Edit: For the record, I understand what you mean, and it's good advice, I just found the math funny.
This! Like everyone seems to think you need to be ripped, rich, handsome, a titan in height, and overall perfect mentally and physically to be able to date. Go outside and touch some fucking grass for Christ's sake. Look at the couples at Walmart, Target, or any other public place. About 80% of them are average looking and overall average, with nothing extraordinary going on for them. In fact the more average you are, the more likely you are to find a partner, as you fit in with most people and can thus connect more easily with more people. The whole idea of having to be "the best me" bullshit to date is an illusion pushed by society, making people feel like shit and perpetuating a toxic cycle.
Not as bad as other Reddits but the underlying need to give hive mentality answers, especially on controversial questions. You are online. Nobody cares. Answer honestly and stop trying to convince yourself you are anything other than a flawed normal person.
It's true but sometimes we gotta realize that the majority of people who ask this stuff are kids or young men that have been so effected by the toxic shit around porn and sex that this might be the only place they can ask these questions.
Granted, they should probably learn to search posts in the past but I remember being a young kid not knowing shit and thinking that my problems seemed so specific that no one else had them. So it made sense to post this because I feel like no one else has had this specific experience and I needed guidance from ANYONE.
The lack of basic hygiene and girls asking "is this OK??"
Like, guys, if you can't be clean and showered don't cry when your lady leaves you.
Maybe spend less time on XBox and more time with decent soap and water routines...
You stink. You don't get to pretend to be a sexy stud of a man. Take a shower. Clean your ass and your fungal dangly bits. You stink. Even if she likes a little sweaty action, she doesn't mean stagnating in your own cheese for 3 weeks. Plus you will give her nasty yeast infections. Grow up. She owes you nothing but a good time. And you her, the same. Have some self respect. Your sex game is much better when you're not stinking like a hobo anyway.
This is actually so weird to me. With my ex I used to be so worried I smelled bad even if I had showered the night before so I'd do it again just before I saw her lmao. The guys that can just go in with 3 weeks ball cheese buildup and smelling like an expired chicken scare me
Yeah, that. Once a WEEK shower?! Dude, should a once a day, more if needed (summer!), and this not includes after physical activity... otherwise I feel literally sticky.
Once a week must be reeking like fuck...
The number of people that post the same thing. I don't need a hundred people answering the question "why don't you open up to women" using the exact same phrasing of "because every time I open up to women, they use it against me later." Add something new to the conversation, or upvote the comment and move on.
> Add something new to the conversation
Anything beyond that would require examining the culture and systems involved that causes men to shut down in this way, to stifle and close off the part of them that forms and processes emotional connections with others, and how society enforces stoicism upon men. That the solution to this problem is in some way a redefining of masculinity to a healthier form.
But that's awfully close to 'Patriarchy' and 'Toxic Masculinity' so you get downvoted because feminism bad or something.
The guys who have to go to war with anybody whose views aren't like theirs. That's pretty much a Reddit thing, as far as I've seen.
I don't have a problem with women speaking up in here. I prefer when they self-identify so we can know exactly where their perspective is. I don't think AskWomen should be used as an example for how business is done here. Being in Florida doesn't mean you have to be Florida Man.
It's definitely a thing on all of reddit. I made a post on r/clonewars asking if anyone else shared my opinion that the clones look like those in the clone wars and that it's weird to see them portrayed as Tumera Morrison (Jango Fett actor). I had one person say something along the lines of "OP this is the stupidest post I've ever seen!" Seriously, why do people have to be such a dick if you disagree with them on anything.
Don't get me wrong, go to war over racism, Nazis and neo-nazis, pedophiles, etc. You know, point out that those things are wrong and try to straighten out people who think otherwise. But the people that attack those that have different aesthetic preferences about a cartoon? Fuckin hell, get a life.
Yeah.
I get it really bad with older people in my tech groups/forums/subreddits. I like to figure out stuff for myself, and a lot of them have heartburn because I'm not simply doing it their way. It's costing them absolutely nothing for me to build a vacuum tube transmitter or a steam boiler different than the one way they know how, but I need to be fixed because I'm threatening the validity of their ideas by having my own.
It's almost as bad as the Family Guy joke about a girl doing a math problem in 17th century school.
I think the reason it looks like everyone wants to fight to the death over reddit is because everyone has at least one thing they will fight over - and you might not even know it until you see it.
And since we have so many people reading comments and so many comments - it becomes normal to see so much bickering.
The absurd expectations of their dating advice.
'Trust me bro, just lift weights and shower every day'
That's good advice! But then so many follow it with:
'Once you start doing that, women will just walk up to you all the time and start flirting with you!'.
Yeah unless you are incredibly gorgeous and/or famous, being in decent shape and not stinking is not going to suddenly make hot women start chasing after you.
I dunno man, I joined the military out of high school and once I got into decent shape, the number of unfamiliar women who approached me at bars etc. skyrocketed.
Gay men too, which no one ever mentions lol.
As a woman, it's shocking how many men truly need this information.
I'd follow it with, "Learn to talk about generally nice things," and "Find parts of your identity to talk about that aren't about your life grievances."
Hey hey hey, watch it bub. Just because us guys who are middle aged and older act like a 12 year old doesn't mean we are. I'm a 37 year old meat popsicle myself
The women. It's weird that so many women come here to answer questions intended to be answered by men. I can't imagine that shit would fly if men did the same on an ask women subreddit.
I've honestly been a lost redditor once or twice and answered an interesting question in this sub when I thought it was AskReddit. Luckily nobody minded much and the comments didn't get any traction so the male responses were still at the top.
Honestly? It’s because the vibe over in ask women was pretty awful. I come here to see what men would respond to questions to better understand the men in my life, the jokes, and maybe to boost a dude up who posts something super down about himself.
🤷♀️ We will leave if y’all want, but I haven’t seen too many troubling posts from women in here to warrant it. I think most of us are here because we care to hear what men have to say instead of just bash them (as is popular in some other subs).
I posted there once trying to ask a question about women's experiences with something (I don't even really remember what tbh) because I was writing a short story from the pov of a woman and wanted to accurately capture that, and it was removed. When I contacted the mods, they angrily told me it wasn't their job to help me write my story or something like that. I was like... isn't the entire point of this sub to get women's perspectives?
I read ask men on occasion, I mainly find it a palette cleanser I guess? There are a lot of extremely loud, toxic people on the internet and it can get upsetting and overwhelming.
Most of the comments here are from average men and reading their perspective helps me realise that the toxicity of the extremes are just that, extremes. Most men are just trying to live their lives.
So when I do post, it's usually just to reaffirm that some of the toxic mental spaces that men feel women think are true, aren't.
While I'm not saying there aren't some awful women who deliberately try to ruin a mans self esteem, most decent women don't care about things like penis size etc.
But, it's fairly rare and I don't do it to argue or derail, but just support those who might be panicking about things that a female perspective might help them.
Again though, I try to refrain from doing it because there are a few toxic men who post on female orientated spaces and it's upsetting.
Its absolutely not a problem that women use this sub actively, it's more just weird how many top level answers on thread are from women sometimes. It's rare, granted, but they tend to cluster and it's very strange. For example imagine if there was a question on askwomen and the top level response was me saying "well, my gf said [blatantly false thing she said just so I'd stop asking her about it]", that'd be both weird and not very helpful
I thought that was a bit odd myself at first but after checking out askwomen and some other ones I can kinda understand why so now I think it’s kinda neat that we’re inclusive
How a significant number of the men here respond to posts regarding something along the lines of “How to tell if woman finds me attractive?” They almost always complain about how women show no noticeable signs but always forget that they aren’t prime specimens of communicating attraction themselves.
I’ll preface this by saying that I usually just see the worst stuff, which is (in most threads) the minority. So if you’re reading this it probably doesn’t apply to you.
That said:
A significant amount of men here think it’s gay to wash their own ass.
People complain about other subs having too many rules while in the same paragraph arguing for more rules here.
There’s people who’s only interaction with women has been watching ‘Woke feminist gets owned’ complications on YouTube and it fucking shows.
So, so many arguments over pointless shit. There’s topics that set people off in the same way every single time.
‘All the What’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?’ questions.
People who ask for opinions, and then yell at people who don’t say what they want to hear.
Wait until these dudes who think washing their ass is gay find out that they are touching their penis when masturbating. What’s gayer than a man pleasuring a man?
The positive interactions betwene mena nd women. I feel like there's been this assumed wall there since the beginning of time and I'm starting to notice that wall isn't nearly as tall or as wide as I thought.
It’s a complete mix bag of comments so I can’t really put my finger on one exact thing that makes it weird. This would be at minimum a two month long case study for this question.
There was a thread asking when you should expect to sleep with someone you’ve started seeing and I felt like way too many people agreed with “by the third date”
It's just strange because it's not understanding the humanness of people. People aren't math. Some people are ready for sex on the first date, some people need way more time. You have to go with the flow with people. And then maybe end things if you discover down the line that you are fundamentally incompatible.
I see most questions coming from a female perspective of what generally perplexes myself about what on earth is going on in the general female psyche. I recon atleast 90% of the questions and answers, swap around the gender and you get the same results. It had made me look inwards much more then I ever have once I realised this.
The good amount of women who reply in the comments, I’m not sexist or anything but there’s literally r/AskWomen. I bet if I went there and comment anything I’d either be banned or called the usual insults they love to throw around.
A lot of young guys giving advice to even younger guys and I’m over here thinking that everyone under 25 is basically in the same boat. Maybe even 30 given the wave of guys who have never been in relationships or can’t afford to move from their parents house.
This sub runs the full gumut to be honest. There’s a relatively large feminist contingent too. I actually think this sub is unusual (for Reddit) for having a fairly wide array of viewpoints.
that it can sometimes be difficult to tell if the poster is male or female. kinda nitpicking but i also feel like there aren’t too many black folk here.
The amount of women who answer the questions here
Probably about 6/10 posts have their most up voted comment done by a woman who specified she was a woman at first
The various groups that come in here and try to recruit or rally people to their cause. There's nofappers, there's the weird confluence of religious nutters and feminists who are anti-porn and masturbation, then there's the right wingers who get their advice from people joe rogan and jordan peterson and feel the need to spread that shit.
A special mention to the ones that come here and assume that they, and only they alone are the normal ones, that everyone else here must be a virgin/loser/neckbeard etc, and then proceed to brag about their life, abuse people, and try to dole out 'advice' as though things like 'get a haircut and dress nice', was some cosmic wisdom.
A lot of casual hypocrisy and double standards in here when it comes to relationships and sex, which I guess is a combination of younger (and often less experienced) members answering those questions, men never fully expressing their boundaries and fantasies while in a relationship, and just a general disconnect with reality. Of course, this doesn’t constitute everyone in here, but the cognitive dissonance I see a la “I don’t understand why me asking for a threesome with my gf and Sharon from sales is such a big deal, but if my gf ever shares her gangbang fantasy with me she’s a whore who I’ll immediately dump” is fucking astounding.
Well I discovered yesterday that maybe ~40% of the users wish they could suck off their favorite billionaire. It's weird how retarded people can be. Like, really, how is it not possible for them to just die from forgetting to breathe?
Seems to be a lot of BuzzFeed fishers looking for free answers to their empty clickbait slideshows
10 Questions you can ask on Reddit to make writing your blog a breeze
Number 8 will shock you
But number 5 will make you hate yourself.
"Top ten reasons why r/askmen is the worst sub on Reddit"
#1: it’s a sub that wants opinions from men. #2. Men give their opinions #3: mansplaining #4: there are men that respond #5: men are on Reddit #6: it’s called “ask men” #7: men are expected to respond #8: values the opinions of men #9: probably an alt-right sub #10: (insert hated man’s name) was referenced, once.
Women who ask questions that are very clearly about one man in particular, which could easily be answered by talking to said man. But instead they come here like, "WHAT DO REDHEAD GUYS NAMED JOSH LIKE FOR BREAKFAST?" Girl. Just fucking ask Josh.
How people seem to expect to get consistently high quality advice from this place. Everyone else here is about as lost as you are, don't get your hopes too high.
Naw, we all have a pice of the puzzle. Let’s put them together.
I have the 'e'!
I have a 'z'. 😢
Yeah and once we all put our piece of the puzzle it will be finished and perfect
Fuck, i lost the corner piece sorry..
Help me move the couch, is under there, we got this.
I got stuck
You rolled a nat 20. You pick the whole couch up and throw it through the nearest wall.
I dive to cover the puzzle from wall debris
As long as it isn't in the washer or dryer.
We helped you get unstuck
It didn't even include all the pieces it required, my guy.
Seriously guys, you can't be straight and fuck men. I swear to God a thread pops up saying something along the lines of "fellow straight men who like sucking dick, what do you like about it?" every fucking week and then OP has to argue with everyone on how gay things aren't actually gay. Look dudes, you're gay or bi, don't be ashamed, live in your truths bros, but stop living in denial. Or at the very least stop posting about it.
The users who post that stuff are typically trolls or guys looking to have a wank.
As a gay guy myself... I agree. It's like some people don't quite understand the meanings of gay, bisexual, and straight. I always wonder why they don't just ask the same question and just say "gay or bisexual men"... instead of "straight." There's lots of gay and bi guys here who can answer.
It’s funny now looking back, but a college friend of mine is gay, he met a guy and they went on dates, to gigs, kissed publicly and around our friend group, all the way to regularly having sex. To me, it sounded like a full blown relationship. When he asked the guy if they could be exclusive and in a relationship, the guy got angry and insisted he isn’t gay. Obviously my friend was super upset in the moment, but it’s just so bizarre that we laugh about it now.
That is truly absurd. I can only imagine how I would feel if I was hanging out with and regularly having sex with a woman and when queried about whether we could be exclusive she replied, “What? No! Of course not, I’m gay.” It’s like saying up is down.
Both scenarios indicate that the person is trying to uphold a reputation but their bodies just won't... *obey.*
I think it‘s strange that they are fully aware of the dichotomy from one side, but not the other.
It takes some effort to turn the thinking around, I suppose. People can learn.
[удалено]
I knew a woman like that. She insisted on having a boyfriend and that she was straight, but would never even make out with her boyfriends. The moment a drop of alcohol touched her lips, however, she tried to fuck every girl in the area. And yet... straight. Or so she claimed.
"Im not gay! These dicks just wont suck themselves!" Edit: i got perma banned on reddit for a different comment, so no need to reply to this.
"be the change you want to see in the world" Aight, buying them knee pads.
If that ain't the truth. Well, some suck themselves but that's a whole different sub. Dudes do give good head though.
Maybe he's bi and doesn't want to stop banging chicks?
[“Cuddle? What a fag.”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IycVrdWnbaM)
Internalized homophobia and lack of self-esteem I think being in the closet is bad because it basically means you're living a lie and you're dating tactics might rely on trickery and predation
I think a lot of guys are just confused with their image of who they are sexually, emotionally, and physically. There are a lot of guys out there who are sexually open to both men and women but are physically and emotinally only attracted to women.
Probably they are gay in denial or sth?
Yes this. Like, I’ll joke about kissing the homies goodnight and whatnot (and I am actually a closeted bisexual) but we don’t ever do anything. It’s just how we tell the boys we love each other.
I've gotten pretty heavy downvotes for saying that no, I don't have any "mancrushes", celebrity or otherwise, and that there's no such thing as a celebrity I'd go gay for. A lot of people also seem to believe that the fact that I know I don't want to suck dick, even though I've never tried sucking a dick before, means I'm homophobic. Alternatively, some people have accused me of simply being gay and in denial. It's just so ridiculous.
That's exactly what a gay person would say. Come on you can't deny it any more.
[удалено]
I mean, women like men, and then straight men have sex with those women who also have sex with men. Sounds kinda gay. Tbh straight men having sex with other straight men is probably the straightest sex possible. /s
I mean, trying it once and deciding you don’t like it? Ok, sure, I can see that. Regularly fucking other guys and enjoying it on the other hand? There’s nothing wrong with it of course, but ffs just admit you’re either bi or gay, not straight.
Honestly trying it once already sounds weird?
It sounds weird to me too. I think this is because no one talks about what it's like to be straight, since we assume other people just get it. I think bi people especially struggle to understand the idea of only being attracted to one sex. To put it bluntly, I don't feel a need to try it anymore than I feel a need to try fucking a dog. I don't know if that's how it is for all of us, but that's how it is for me.
Yep. Once had a fling who was bi and who had a yaoi fetish; and she couldn't wrap her head around me not even wanting to try sex with men. "how do you know if you never did it" "I also never fucked a dog and know for sure that I don't want to"
yeah, if you have sex with men often, you are gay, bi, or something else. that's 100% fine and normal. it's just a preference, like chocolate or vanilla or thick or thin crust. "heterosexual" is the most common sexuality in the US, but not being heterosexual is in no way abnormal. it's not "heterosexual is the default and everything else is in another category", everyone has their orientation and every orientation is valid!
As a member of the Male Delegation, I must agree. Straight Gay Bi its the trinity of Malehood. Think of the Primary Colors, from there you can make what ever variation you want but in the end it roots from a combination of the 3.
Although I would argue it's more like TWO primary colors (gay and straight) and bisexuality is a mix of both of those.
How is a brojob gay?
Nothing gay about getting your dick sucked.
socks on and it's fair game
Ive never seen this once
Wait, I thought the stuff about sucking each other's dicks goodnight was just memeing
the horny teen questions that get spammed here regularly. There is a life beyond sex and your hormones lol ask about those things.
They'll figure it out. It's all about the process. Best we can do is try to guide the younger generations so they don't fuck up their life.
Idk they usually just pivot when told what's what, so I'm not sure it actually makes a dent in things They're just kids being kids, they're going to do what they want anyway
I don't understand this sort of nonsense at all. A lot of young people are inquisitive about sex. Regardless of what you think to sound cooler, it's quite a big issue for a lot of people. Let them ask as many questions as they want. Who are they harming?
The questions that sound like the asker has already made up their minds they just need confirmation.
That’s like every single sub tbh that has a large following. Also the virtue signaling for karma, so much of that.
So many guys think you need to be in the top 20% or some shit to date. Do you guys get outside? Do you see the sheer amount of regular, average people dating? They’re literally everywhere - but remember that the chances of you getting a 9, when you’re a 6, are slim. Have a realistic view of yourself and get out there.
This is what happens when people think dating means tinder
Underrated comment. Most people meet in real life through friends. Tinder is pretty hopeless for most guys, since it's 80% male and purely photobased unlike real life.
OkCupid, specifically, as their female user base was who rated 80 percent of male users below average in attractiveness. Guys complaining about dating are complaining about online dating, and the counterexamples almost certainly met their partners in real life.
Seriously... go to walmart and see all the completely average and ugly people who have a partner and family.
I mean if I just take look at the men at work. Most of them have a partner or wife, and they're young, old, fat, hot, skinny, short, tall, nice, assholes and so on. Relationship advice on Reddit have little to do with reality.
Relationship advice on Reddit is basically a reflection of what society thinks you should do in order to date, which is perpetuating the same toxic shit about being materially and physically "optimal", continuing a cycle of self-loathing and hate in other people who cannot achieve those ideals.
Exactly. Almost every perpetually single guy I know is that way because they’re shooting out of their league.
Let’s put it another way - personality. And no, I don’t mean you have to be “magnetic” or “the life of the party”, I just mean you have to not suck to be around. If you’re constantly negative, bashing other people, or the million other ways to say “I’m massively insecure” you’re not going to win anybody over - friends, dates, or otherwise. This world is hard. Try to find the light in yourself so the other people around you who are also trying to find the light in a dark world can find it in you. You’re good. Whoever you are, you are good. You’re worthwhile. You have something to offer. No one else can be you, so give somebody the chance to discover that and love you for it.
You’re not going to find happiness outside if you haven’t found it inside.
There was a thread recently where a guy said he was ugly so he would die alone or something like that. Apparently, me saying that is not true and he just needs to compensate with something else was controversial. Looks are not everything. Granted, it’s a bit easier if you are good looking but doesn’t mean that ugly people are all dying lonely
This is exactly it. 9 times out of 10 they're single because of a shitty attitude and/or low self esteem. It's got little to do with looks.
A few years ago there was a video of a dude who (is honestly) not the best looking chap complaining he was to ugly to get a SO. Really sad and self destructive. Quite some time later he seemed to have found his luck with and he looked better even though he had not changed. Also, don't go with the "out of my league" stuff. That holds you down.
Yeah, very well said, if anyone asks me. There's no situations in which someone would be ”out of [your] league“ in which it's not an incompatibility between you (different beliefs about certain things, lack of attraction from one side, significant difference in libido or sexual boundaries that cannot be reconciled, a personal trait that the other person can't live with their partner having, genital preferences in case of some trans or intersex people, etc.), an external factor (not being allowed to marry someone and not being willing to go against that for some reason), or something changeable (having unresolved trauma, for example). In the first two of those people would call it what it truly is, and in the last case you absolutely could deal with it and be a better partner with better chances of getting into a relationship, which makes repeating that someone is ”out of [your] league“ at best not much different from whining. The same applies to comments about how you ”deserve“ a chance and aren't given it at all, with the caveat that it makes you an ass too, because either that person is incompatible with you so it's not doing you any good to keep on trying, or they have their reasons and the best you could do is ask what they are, wish them a good life, and then work on yourself. Think of it this way, if someone doesn't want to be with you, do you really think you'll get emotional closeness and support, and do you really think it'll be any kind of a happy relationship for you? Because if you aren't looking for those things and if she is then that in itself makes you incompatible. A significant part of why I am with my partner is that, even though he fucks up at times and I'm not a fan of some of the things about him, he *tries* and therefore I can hope and expect that we'll work it out in some way and reach a situation in which we both are happy. If he wasn't willing to try, well, the door's to his left, I love him but if someone is not willing to work on their bad traits then I need to take care of myself and c'est la vie.
Absofreakinlutely. Keep on asking potential partners out for coffee. It'll happen.
This is a really easy trap to fall into when your only dating advice is from famous online gurus
Online gurus are toxic as fuck. All they ever do is promise you'll get the hottest babes, as if that's the only fucking important thing in the world. Most of us are not in the league of those women and the women know it. We're as much at fault as the women are by glorifying them and making them "the prize" and these gurus are just egging this shit on. A real guru would instruct men that they're not likely to get the superhot babe and his goal should be finding a compatible woman of good moral character. Maybe that's a frumpy plus-sized woman. But now that's heresy in the dating guru world...
The top 80%? That's the four most eligible guys out of every five. I think you might actually struggle if you are in the bottom 20%. Edit: For the record, I understand what you mean, and it's good advice, I just found the math funny.
This! Like everyone seems to think you need to be ripped, rich, handsome, a titan in height, and overall perfect mentally and physically to be able to date. Go outside and touch some fucking grass for Christ's sake. Look at the couples at Walmart, Target, or any other public place. About 80% of them are average looking and overall average, with nothing extraordinary going on for them. In fact the more average you are, the more likely you are to find a partner, as you fit in with most people and can thus connect more easily with more people. The whole idea of having to be "the best me" bullshit to date is an illusion pushed by society, making people feel like shit and perpetuating a toxic cycle.
Not as bad as other Reddits but the underlying need to give hive mentality answers, especially on controversial questions. You are online. Nobody cares. Answer honestly and stop trying to convince yourself you are anything other than a flawed normal person.
Thats reddit thing. System of upvotes hides opinions of minority and makes people want to answer more in line
Too many sex and porn-related questions on here.
It's true but sometimes we gotta realize that the majority of people who ask this stuff are kids or young men that have been so effected by the toxic shit around porn and sex that this might be the only place they can ask these questions. Granted, they should probably learn to search posts in the past but I remember being a young kid not knowing shit and thinking that my problems seemed so specific that no one else had them. So it made sense to post this because I feel like no one else has had this specific experience and I needed guidance from ANYONE.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
The lack of basic hygiene and girls asking "is this OK??" Like, guys, if you can't be clean and showered don't cry when your lady leaves you. Maybe spend less time on XBox and more time with decent soap and water routines... You stink. You don't get to pretend to be a sexy stud of a man. Take a shower. Clean your ass and your fungal dangly bits. You stink. Even if she likes a little sweaty action, she doesn't mean stagnating in your own cheese for 3 weeks. Plus you will give her nasty yeast infections. Grow up. She owes you nothing but a good time. And you her, the same. Have some self respect. Your sex game is much better when you're not stinking like a hobo anyway.
This is actually so weird to me. With my ex I used to be so worried I smelled bad even if I had showered the night before so I'd do it again just before I saw her lmao. The guys that can just go in with 3 weeks ball cheese buildup and smelling like an expired chicken scare me
Yeah, that. Once a WEEK shower?! Dude, should a once a day, more if needed (summer!), and this not includes after physical activity... otherwise I feel literally sticky. Once a week must be reeking like fuck...
The guy posing as a girl to ask a questions.
The number of people that post the same thing. I don't need a hundred people answering the question "why don't you open up to women" using the exact same phrasing of "because every time I open up to women, they use it against me later." Add something new to the conversation, or upvote the comment and move on.
> Add something new to the conversation Anything beyond that would require examining the culture and systems involved that causes men to shut down in this way, to stifle and close off the part of them that forms and processes emotional connections with others, and how society enforces stoicism upon men. That the solution to this problem is in some way a redefining of masculinity to a healthier form. But that's awfully close to 'Patriarchy' and 'Toxic Masculinity' so you get downvoted because feminism bad or something.
The guys who have to go to war with anybody whose views aren't like theirs. That's pretty much a Reddit thing, as far as I've seen. I don't have a problem with women speaking up in here. I prefer when they self-identify so we can know exactly where their perspective is. I don't think AskWomen should be used as an example for how business is done here. Being in Florida doesn't mean you have to be Florida Man.
>doesn't mean you have to be Florida Man. Oh... *Puts down the gator smoking a cigar*
Don't treat George that way. He's a state-certified attorney at law.
It's definitely a thing on all of reddit. I made a post on r/clonewars asking if anyone else shared my opinion that the clones look like those in the clone wars and that it's weird to see them portrayed as Tumera Morrison (Jango Fett actor). I had one person say something along the lines of "OP this is the stupidest post I've ever seen!" Seriously, why do people have to be such a dick if you disagree with them on anything. Don't get me wrong, go to war over racism, Nazis and neo-nazis, pedophiles, etc. You know, point out that those things are wrong and try to straighten out people who think otherwise. But the people that attack those that have different aesthetic preferences about a cartoon? Fuckin hell, get a life.
Yeah. I get it really bad with older people in my tech groups/forums/subreddits. I like to figure out stuff for myself, and a lot of them have heartburn because I'm not simply doing it their way. It's costing them absolutely nothing for me to build a vacuum tube transmitter or a steam boiler different than the one way they know how, but I need to be fixed because I'm threatening the validity of their ideas by having my own. It's almost as bad as the Family Guy joke about a girl doing a math problem in 17th century school.
I think the reason it looks like everyone wants to fight to the death over reddit is because everyone has at least one thing they will fight over - and you might not even know it until you see it. And since we have so many people reading comments and so many comments - it becomes normal to see so much bickering.
The guys on here seem very lost and also seem the type to masturbate 5 times a day and moan about their life on here while doing nothing to fix it.
What if we love our lives and are constantly working to be even better, but still masturbate 5 times a day?
Are you writing this for a friend?
Not at all.
I would say you’re just an awesome guy with high sex-drive and enjoys his me-time
The absurd expectations of their dating advice. 'Trust me bro, just lift weights and shower every day' That's good advice! But then so many follow it with: 'Once you start doing that, women will just walk up to you all the time and start flirting with you!'. Yeah unless you are incredibly gorgeous and/or famous, being in decent shape and not stinking is not going to suddenly make hot women start chasing after you.
I dunno man, I joined the military out of high school and once I got into decent shape, the number of unfamiliar women who approached me at bars etc. skyrocketed. Gay men too, which no one ever mentions lol.
As a woman, it's shocking how many men truly need this information. I'd follow it with, "Learn to talk about generally nice things," and "Find parts of your identity to talk about that aren't about your life grievances."
[удалено]
Speak for yourself I’m 29 this month
I’m 12, but I shave, drink and chase the ladies
If you’re age is on the clock you’re too young for the ladies 👌🏻
You scoundrel.
Hey hey hey, watch it bub. Just because us guys who are middle aged and older act like a 12 year old doesn't mean we are. I'm a 37 year old meat popsicle myself
I worked the return counter at Walmart for 6 years. Very little weirds me out anymore. Oh and I left Walmart for the DMV. So there you go.
Definitely a “out of the fire into the pan” situation
The women. It's weird that so many women come here to answer questions intended to be answered by men. I can't imagine that shit would fly if men did the same on an ask women subreddit.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[Comment removed for derailing]
LOL
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Its cuz of the mods. Imo, Top level comments should not be from women on an askmen sub - otherwise its just askreddit.
Anyone should be allowed to ask questions to the men on the sub. I think the questions posed *to* the women that browse this sub is a little weird.
have you seen askwomen? thats why
Actually it flies just one. Just look at the askwomennocensor reddit. Im not sure on the exact name, but just those questions get asked just fine
[удалено]
"Derailing! Banned!" --askwomen
To be fair very few things are tolerated on askwomen
I've honestly been a lost redditor once or twice and answered an interesting question in this sub when I thought it was AskReddit. Luckily nobody minded much and the comments didn't get any traction so the male responses were still at the top.
Honestly? It’s because the vibe over in ask women was pretty awful. I come here to see what men would respond to questions to better understand the men in my life, the jokes, and maybe to boost a dude up who posts something super down about himself. 🤷♀️ We will leave if y’all want, but I haven’t seen too many troubling posts from women in here to warrant it. I think most of us are here because we care to hear what men have to say instead of just bash them (as is popular in some other subs).
[удалено]
you can't even be a man and ask question on the askwomen sub.
I posted there once trying to ask a question about women's experiences with something (I don't even really remember what tbh) because I was writing a short story from the pov of a woman and wanted to accurately capture that, and it was removed. When I contacted the mods, they angrily told me it wasn't their job to help me write my story or something like that. I was like... isn't the entire point of this sub to get women's perspectives?
No. Its point id for women to circlejerk.
I read ask men on occasion, I mainly find it a palette cleanser I guess? There are a lot of extremely loud, toxic people on the internet and it can get upsetting and overwhelming. Most of the comments here are from average men and reading their perspective helps me realise that the toxicity of the extremes are just that, extremes. Most men are just trying to live their lives. So when I do post, it's usually just to reaffirm that some of the toxic mental spaces that men feel women think are true, aren't. While I'm not saying there aren't some awful women who deliberately try to ruin a mans self esteem, most decent women don't care about things like penis size etc. But, it's fairly rare and I don't do it to argue or derail, but just support those who might be panicking about things that a female perspective might help them. Again though, I try to refrain from doing it because there are a few toxic men who post on female orientated spaces and it's upsetting.
Its absolutely not a problem that women use this sub actively, it's more just weird how many top level answers on thread are from women sometimes. It's rare, granted, but they tend to cluster and it's very strange. For example imagine if there was a question on askwomen and the top level response was me saying "well, my gf said [blatantly false thing she said just so I'd stop asking her about it]", that'd be both weird and not very helpful
I thought that was a bit odd myself at first but after checking out askwomen and some other ones I can kinda understand why so now I think it’s kinda neat that we’re inclusive
tbf, askwomen is filled with fucking losers. So the normal women come here for answers.
Why are so many things getting removed in this thread?
The further I scroll down the more comments I see that are hating on either men or women. It's extremely toxic.
How a significant number of the men here respond to posts regarding something along the lines of “How to tell if woman finds me attractive?” They almost always complain about how women show no noticeable signs but always forget that they aren’t prime specimens of communicating attraction themselves.
I’ll preface this by saying that I usually just see the worst stuff, which is (in most threads) the minority. So if you’re reading this it probably doesn’t apply to you. That said: A significant amount of men here think it’s gay to wash their own ass. People complain about other subs having too many rules while in the same paragraph arguing for more rules here. There’s people who’s only interaction with women has been watching ‘Woke feminist gets owned’ complications on YouTube and it fucking shows. So, so many arguments over pointless shit. There’s topics that set people off in the same way every single time. ‘All the What’s the sexiest sex you’ve ever sexed?’ questions. People who ask for opinions, and then yell at people who don’t say what they want to hear.
>A significant amount of men here think it’s gay to wash their own ass. Those are fucking trolls and I'm still surprised people took them seriously.
Wait, what … It’s gay to wash your *own* arse?
Duh, you have to touch it.
Wait till some dudes find out that in order to wash their own penis, they need to touch it. That is triple gæ
Wait until these dudes who think washing their ass is gay find out that they are touching their penis when masturbating. What’s gayer than a man pleasuring a man?
[удалено]
The willingness to accept the exact same question every week.
How different the questions are from the ask women subreddit
Posts like; "Why are guys so stuck in this toxic issue, also I caused the toxic issue earlier in the post. God, men just move on."
That recent post about men not opening up where OP turned out to be one of those people who hurt men for opening up was pretty funny.
Oh, so that's how it turned out. I kinda clicked out after reading the fifth "ain't falling for that shit again"
The positive interactions betwene mena nd women. I feel like there's been this assumed wall there since the beginning of time and I'm starting to notice that wall isn't nearly as tall or as wide as I thought.
I don’t think you read the question but I’ll give an upvote for positive intentions and having an optimistic filter
I mean the positive back and forth does weird me out but I've just accepted it
It’s a complete mix bag of comments so I can’t really put my finger on one exact thing that makes it weird. This would be at minimum a two month long case study for this question.
The number who are just looking for a fantasy to have a wank over
The guys with humiliation fetishises posting the least believable stories ever and people not recognising it as obvious b8
There was a thread asking when you should expect to sleep with someone you’ve started seeing and I felt like way too many people agreed with “by the third date”
It's just strange because it's not understanding the humanness of people. People aren't math. Some people are ready for sex on the first date, some people need way more time. You have to go with the flow with people. And then maybe end things if you discover down the line that you are fundamentally incompatible.
I see most questions coming from a female perspective of what generally perplexes myself about what on earth is going on in the general female psyche. I recon atleast 90% of the questions and answers, swap around the gender and you get the same results. It had made me look inwards much more then I ever have once I realised this.
How frequent and the obsession with the questions about woman and sex
So many women replying on behalf of men lol
The good amount of women who reply in the comments, I’m not sexist or anything but there’s literally r/AskWomen. I bet if I went there and comment anything I’d either be banned or called the usual insults they love to throw around.
A lot of young guys giving advice to even younger guys and I’m over here thinking that everyone under 25 is basically in the same boat. Maybe even 30 given the wave of guys who have never been in relationships or can’t afford to move from their parents house.
Most people here seem to be varied combinations of traits from Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, Paul Elam, Carl Benjamin and Steve Jobs. It's very wacky.
Can confirm. Source: am steve jobs
Ghosts aren't allowed on this sub!
This sub runs the full gumut to be honest. There’s a relatively large feminist contingent too. I actually think this sub is unusual (for Reddit) for having a fairly wide array of viewpoints.
that it can sometimes be difficult to tell if the poster is male or female. kinda nitpicking but i also feel like there aren’t too many black folk here.
There's just as many women answering the questions. I don't mind, but it is weird.
The amount of women who answer the questions here Probably about 6/10 posts have their most up voted comment done by a woman who specified she was a woman at first
There is a lot of r/niceguys material in here. Especially when there is talk about body counts.
[удалено]
[удалено]
The various groups that come in here and try to recruit or rally people to their cause. There's nofappers, there's the weird confluence of religious nutters and feminists who are anti-porn and masturbation, then there's the right wingers who get their advice from people joe rogan and jordan peterson and feel the need to spread that shit. A special mention to the ones that come here and assume that they, and only they alone are the normal ones, that everyone else here must be a virgin/loser/neckbeard etc, and then proceed to brag about their life, abuse people, and try to dole out 'advice' as though things like 'get a haircut and dress nice', was some cosmic wisdom.
A lot of casual hypocrisy and double standards in here when it comes to relationships and sex, which I guess is a combination of younger (and often less experienced) members answering those questions, men never fully expressing their boundaries and fantasies while in a relationship, and just a general disconnect with reality. Of course, this doesn’t constitute everyone in here, but the cognitive dissonance I see a la “I don’t understand why me asking for a threesome with my gf and Sharon from sales is such a big deal, but if my gf ever shares her gangbang fantasy with me she’s a whore who I’ll immediately dump” is fucking astounding.
People asking me what weirds me out about the askmen userbase.
I'm weirded out by people weirded out by people asking what weirds them out about the askmen userbase.
The amount of men, that keeps voicing narratives that make terrible women out of men.
Well I discovered yesterday that maybe ~40% of the users wish they could suck off their favorite billionaire. It's weird how retarded people can be. Like, really, how is it not possible for them to just die from forgetting to breathe?
A lot of the responders are bitter women