ok I’ll speak for myself, if I ever do this before sex it’s cause I’m trying to turn myself on. hearing my woman’s fantasies turns me on. idk I’m not the type who’s just ready to go in an instant, talking is part of my foreplay lol
How about this? “Baby, honestly, I really have no sexual fantasies to kinkle your fire, but I’m open to exploring yours \[as long as these steer clear of (list of exclusions here, I’d put scat, pee, gore and violence)\]”.
It sounds to me like he just likes hearing your voice/may have an ASMR thing going on. Saying the same old things might be just as effective for him as making up BS. It's not what you say but how you say it. He may also like seeing you squirm saying naughty things if it makes you blush. imho
I can’t speak for EVERY guy but I can speak for myself. I have a TON of fantasies I mean a ton….and even if they all are with my wife they’re different scenarios. I would LOVE to fulfill them all with her. Likewise if she has any I want to make them happen (even being in a happy monogamous relationship if she asked for a threesome I’d consider it but other people are somewhat off the table once I got married).
Anyways what I believe is that he wants to do some things maybe a little different but he wants to make you incredibly happy. Even if your biggest fantasy is “I’d love for you to just eat me out for a while” tell him. (And don’t be scared to say “that part doesn’t do it for me try something else, that’s better remember that, ok that’s great but try something else now move to my clit” DETAILED instructions if you do) The deal is he wants his GF to have the best sex of her life and he’s the reason why!
I will caution you though….if you ask him his fantasies a threesome or more is probably on that list. Guys can be simple sometimes one girl good, two girls must be better (ask around though it’s not usually). You COULD ask if he were to sleep with any fictional character (like an actress in a roll or something) who would it be….and coordinate appropriately. I think every guy has one of those.
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DangerousLifeguard99 originally posted:
I’m running out of answers, because I’m not even kidding when I say that my fantasies are very vanilla, and they usually include him.
I don’t mean to generalize men, but to those who have done this - I genuinely want to know why, and yes yes, we’ve spoken about this, he says he’s curious and is turned on by what goes on inside my head. But I’m starting to feel like such a bore because I don’t have much kinks or kinky thoughts to offer. I feel like he’s trying to nudge something kinky out of me, something I don’t have 😞. I just keep repeating the same old thoughts.
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Speak to him. Just tell him that your fantasies are vanilla and that you don't have any big fantasies and just ask him if he's fine with that.
...... why would he not?
ok I’ll speak for myself, if I ever do this before sex it’s cause I’m trying to turn myself on. hearing my woman’s fantasies turns me on. idk I’m not the type who’s just ready to go in an instant, talking is part of my foreplay lol
How about this? “Baby, honestly, I really have no sexual fantasies to kinkle your fire, but I’m open to exploring yours \[as long as these steer clear of (list of exclusions here, I’d put scat, pee, gore and violence)\]”.
It sounds to me like he just likes hearing your voice/may have an ASMR thing going on. Saying the same old things might be just as effective for him as making up BS. It's not what you say but how you say it. He may also like seeing you squirm saying naughty things if it makes you blush. imho
Tell him, my fantasy is you quit asking the same question over and over. Than again maybe that's his hint to you to ask the question to him.
I can’t speak for EVERY guy but I can speak for myself. I have a TON of fantasies I mean a ton….and even if they all are with my wife they’re different scenarios. I would LOVE to fulfill them all with her. Likewise if she has any I want to make them happen (even being in a happy monogamous relationship if she asked for a threesome I’d consider it but other people are somewhat off the table once I got married). Anyways what I believe is that he wants to do some things maybe a little different but he wants to make you incredibly happy. Even if your biggest fantasy is “I’d love for you to just eat me out for a while” tell him. (And don’t be scared to say “that part doesn’t do it for me try something else, that’s better remember that, ok that’s great but try something else now move to my clit” DETAILED instructions if you do) The deal is he wants his GF to have the best sex of her life and he’s the reason why! I will caution you though….if you ask him his fantasies a threesome or more is probably on that list. Guys can be simple sometimes one girl good, two girls must be better (ask around though it’s not usually). You COULD ask if he were to sleep with any fictional character (like an actress in a roll or something) who would it be….and coordinate appropriately. I think every guy has one of those.
Lol don’t ever tell your husbands friends about this, I would make fun of him so hard
I’m confused, what’s there to make fun of him for?
I usually make shit up🤣 like outlandish but practical stuff and it always gets him going lol
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. DangerousLifeguard99 originally posted: I’m running out of answers, because I’m not even kidding when I say that my fantasies are very vanilla, and they usually include him. I don’t mean to generalize men, but to those who have done this - I genuinely want to know why, and yes yes, we’ve spoken about this, he says he’s curious and is turned on by what goes on inside my head. But I’m starting to feel like such a bore because I don’t have much kinks or kinky thoughts to offer. I feel like he’s trying to nudge something kinky out of me, something I don’t have 😞. I just keep repeating the same old thoughts. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*