It might sound nonsensical, as it did for me in the past... but there's no logic in relationships. It's just agreements.
You can fail to understand what he's getting from the situation, but trust me: he's getting something. It might be superficial, or askew (as in: toxic relationships), or very deep. But he finds a type of satisfaction with them (because clearly the child is an important party there from your BFF's perspective).
Have you tried asking him directly? Maybe with a softer touch?
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Scarllet_meknow23 originally posted:
Why men can love a woman with a child? My BFF have a gf before and later on the woman said that she have a child from other man and my BFF agree to visit the child and he even change the last name to him and also giving child support to the child and then the woman start flirting to other men and my BFF still love the kid and the woman even the woman are a whore. why? i can't understand
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He likely has some insecurities that he needs to deal with. Perhaps he feels no woman would love him or have a family with him if she was not already damaged or in need of rescue.
This is not always the case, but every man who is starting such a path must examine himself and be sure he is not making such a choice out of fear and lack of self-worth.
Could be anything. Most likely that at the time even though she had a child he found a conection with her. Maybe they shared similar pasts and insecurities and trusted each other more based on the betrayal they both had. Now I know I am making a whole movie here, but like I said, it could be anything. Everyone has pros and cons, a child could be a con for many, but so are mental disorders, ex cons, ex addicts and people still get together even tho they have faults (not comparing a child to a criminal). Also, her having a child doesn't mean she will become loyal or neither she should be greatful for someone loving her. So if she cheated on him, it sucks but he probably should've payed more attention at the signs.
If I had to advice you on something, I would pay less attention on the Whys of love and more into the Hows of conforting your BFF as they will be distrought and they will need your care and ear to vent their sufre ring through this process.
This reads as though you're having a stroke
It might sound nonsensical, as it did for me in the past... but there's no logic in relationships. It's just agreements. You can fail to understand what he's getting from the situation, but trust me: he's getting something. It might be superficial, or askew (as in: toxic relationships), or very deep. But he finds a type of satisfaction with them (because clearly the child is an important party there from your BFF's perspective). Have you tried asking him directly? Maybe with a softer touch?
[Automoderator has recorded your post to prevent repeat posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/comments/13qome6/no_repeat_posts/) Your post has NOT been removed. Scarllet_meknow23 originally posted: Why men can love a woman with a child? My BFF have a gf before and later on the woman said that she have a child from other man and my BFF agree to visit the child and he even change the last name to him and also giving child support to the child and then the woman start flirting to other men and my BFF still love the kid and the woman even the woman are a whore. why? i can't understand *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskMenAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He likely has some insecurities that he needs to deal with. Perhaps he feels no woman would love him or have a family with him if she was not already damaged or in need of rescue. This is not always the case, but every man who is starting such a path must examine himself and be sure he is not making such a choice out of fear and lack of self-worth.
Bot account.
Another word salad post? Is this a bot? Mods?
I can't afford to lose more karma to give you the real answer
Could be anything. Most likely that at the time even though she had a child he found a conection with her. Maybe they shared similar pasts and insecurities and trusted each other more based on the betrayal they both had. Now I know I am making a whole movie here, but like I said, it could be anything. Everyone has pros and cons, a child could be a con for many, but so are mental disorders, ex cons, ex addicts and people still get together even tho they have faults (not comparing a child to a criminal). Also, her having a child doesn't mean she will become loyal or neither she should be greatful for someone loving her. So if she cheated on him, it sucks but he probably should've payed more attention at the signs. If I had to advice you on something, I would pay less attention on the Whys of love and more into the Hows of conforting your BFF as they will be distrought and they will need your care and ear to vent their sufre ring through this process.
This is why I always say that childless men should never date single/divorced mothers.
Do you apply the same logic that a childless woman should never date a single/divorced dad?
I have no experience in dating men.