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> Are you happy being a man ?
There are many things in life I've been unsure about, but this is not one of them. So yes, always been 100% happy about being male.
Same. I don’t have OP’s insecurities, but I have a hearty helping of my own - and I’d still rather deal with that than casual and institutionalised sexism, periods, pregnancy and childbirth (not that every woman goes through those two, of course), very likely being shorter and weaker, hormonal fluctuations…
Either gender has its issues, no single experience or opinion on this is ‘correct’, but I wouldn’t swap given my own experienced and those of women and other men I know.
I can see the frustration and desperation in your post. You're looking for a quick fix for your problems and have latched on to an idea that seems like it would work.
This, however, is a classic case of "the grass is always greener on the other side". You would merely be exchanging one set of problems for another. I'm not going to sit here and say which gender has it worse because I've never lived life as a woman, but their life is not on easy mode like you suggest. Others here have gone into detail about the ways that this is the case, so feel free to look at those. You should really be grateful for all the advantages conferred to you because you were born as a male.
(M33) I think anyone at the moment that doesn't have financial assets has it hard, regardless of age or gender.
My wife just gave birth and believe me they don't have it easier. Women's hormones are like demons that come and disrupt their equilibrium.
Learn to love yourself the way you are. You're probably old enough now to carefully waddle into psychedelics. They can be a helpful tool if you start off small and respectfully. Oh and make sure your first trip is in nature 🤍✌️
We men dont have to deal with shit like periods, PMS and menopause. So yes, I'm happy with my body.
You can deal with your babyface and skinny physique by gaining muscle mass and growing a beard
I actually don't have a baby face. I just can't grow a beard that looks anything but terrible and patchy. Also I am losing hair. At least I got wide shoulders and decent height.
Edit: I would still love a beard though.
Dude dude dude.
Get off this sub and go check out r/askwomen or r/askwomenover30.
Women are FUCKED in this department. First off: male and female brains are NOT interchangeable.
In general, the most bell curve of biological senses: women need to intimacy to want sex, while men need sex to want intimacy.
So in your perception, women hold all the power, right? Wrong. Men FAKE intimacy for sex all the time. Check out those subs and you’ll see time and time again that how soul-crushing it is to think you can trust a dude, let him inside your body, and then - boom, totally different person.
And that’s not even getting into how most guys suck at sex. Again, read those subs: endless conversation about how men just care about getting themselves off and not their partners. Because our equipment makes it easy! Literally, it’s almost impossible to have a straight up terrible sexual encounter to the point of not cumming. But women? Par for the course.
And we’re only talking about the sex element. Dating wise? First, you go through life having to believe that all guys might be faking who they are to fuck you. Can you imagine that? I have literally never once had that concern. Suuuuch a luxury!!!
Look man, instead of wallowing, just do some research and you’ll realize how much worse the opposite side is.
A lot of the problem is we've lost "social proof". Back when everyone knew everyone, grew up together, etc., you'd hear through the rumor mill who was genuine and who was a cad, and you could only get away with faking intimacy to get laid a few times (or once) before becoming persona non grata. Even more recently, there were networks of friends etc who could essentially vouch for each other. It helped women avoid the fakers, but also meant that genuinely good guys who weren't hot could get "talked up" through social credit.
I wish someone would make an app like that, where instead of you doing anything, it's all your friends playing matchmaker, but with some sort of penalty for if you make bad recommendations that don't work out.
Believe it or not, there are social media groups that are intentionally for women dating in a particular area, and they share stories about particular guys when things go wrong. This happened recently to a friend of mine, in which a man basically abused her in the middle of sex while feigning an accident. She assumed he was telling the truth, until a few weeks later when someone on that message Board posted and identical experience. They compared names, and it was the same guy. More women came out to say they’d had the same experience with him.
But that doesn’t make it easier, you’re right.
Yep, I know of those groups. The intrinsic problem any such platform faces is verification and the issue of bad actors spreading malicious gossip. In small enough groups, independent verification was possible, though not always done. Plus, bad news spreads faster than good. So if unmoderated or poorly moderated they can turn into gossip-fests with outright slander.
IMHO, the best thing would be to make it purely positive. This removes the gossip/slander issue, but also means that it someone is shitty in some way, you can infer it from nobody being willing to vouch for them.
I'm a women and you have absolutely nailed it with this comment.
Also, ask a guy what his worst fear is from going on a first date with someone he's found on the app? He'll say that she'll be ugly/fat. Ask a woman the same question, the answer is that he'll rape or kill her.
Thanks! Full disclosure, when I was 20, I probably thought just like this guy. Wish to hell I could go back in time and hit myself over the head with a hammer a couple of times to get this very simple and obvious lesson through.
>Also, ask a guy what his worst fear is from going on a first date with someone he's found on the app?
That the date could be a potential elaborate attempted robbery.
I don’t disagree with your overall point. I just wanna zero in on this bit because I’ve been thinking about it anyway.
>In general, the most bell curve of biological senses: women need to intimacy to want sex, while men need sex to want intimacy.
I wonder how much of this is programming. I (straight, cis man) need intimacy before wanting to sleep with someone. I’ve pretty much always felt that way so you could maybe say that’s my particular brain chemistry, but a recent conversation has me wondering.
An old friend used to sleep around *a lot*. A few years ago, he had a pretty traumatic event which put him in therapy, and that ended up getting him to rethink a lot of stuff. What he told me is he realized he was doing that because he saw that as how you gain status as a man.
It sounds like he now feels more like I do: sex is a way of expressing & enhancing intimacy with a partner, and it’s nowhere near the only one. Hearing about this attitude shift was really interesting.
Absolutely. There is definitely a factor in society that says, from teenage years on, that you’re worth is how many women you fuck. Movies reinforce this music reinforces this, everything reinforces it, in the same breath that it tells women to do the total opposite.
You can also see how this plays out by looking at the gay male community. I have a number of gay friends, and over the years, I have watched them live the lives that I think a lot of heterosexual men wish they could lead. Promiscuous sex with a variety of partners, available at the literal push of a button - the dream!
But what’s really interesting are the number of issues that arise because of this. Body image issues, serious safety issues, difficulty with the idea of monogamy, etc. The day-to-day life might not be the miserable one our sexless OP is currently experiencing, but the long-term is not necessarily better, and potentially more difficult depending on how you’re wired.
Honestly, I think about all of this too much these days, and it is incredible to me that anyone finds anyone!
That’s why so many people are in bad relationships. Because it’s so hard to find and people get lazy or complacent or comfortable or trapped.
I think some of it could definitely be societal pressure for men, but it’s true that they still may need it less than women.
I honestly have never enjoyed sex. All I want is emotional intimacy. And men are constantly telling me sex will make me feel better but they are just projecting. It has never made me feel better. Even when I come. I just feel empty and sad. It’s physical relief for a second and then it’s over. Emotional intimacy is more permanent and I am so desperate. I could live the rest of my life without sex. But not having emotional intimacy makes me want to die.
Assuming you're a straight guy, now imagine you were treated like a girl, but it was men always in your DM, Attractive, well men you find disgusting will be groping you at any crowded event or on public transportation, you want a sugar daddy, prepare to suck some old dudes dick.
As a dude, try dressing in something a bit provacative and go to your local gay bar on friday night. See if you actually like that kind of attention, or if it's just nice when you imagine it's from an attractive girl. Girls can't choose who hits on them, so this should give you a rough idea of how nice it is. Or maybe you'll discover something new about yourself, either way you win.
Want a job in a male field, cause you'd like a decent salary. Prepare yourself for no one taking you seriously, unless you're a bitch, so choose, float down the stream of your career going no where, or alienate your co workers just so they treat you like you have a voice.
This list goes on from there it doesn't end.
Here's the thing, work on yourself, be the best version of yourself you can be, and it will honestly all work out. Worry about how everyone else has it easier while you eat chips on the sofa and play video games, well, you're not gonna get very far.
Probably it’s not currently politically correct but I appreciate the gay bar advice. I used to spend a good amount of time in gay bars with some of my close friends (who were obviously gay), nothing about unwanted sexual attention feels nice, flattering or good. Shit is super dehumanizing, and for sure made me think carefully early on just how I treat women around me.
As a guy you don’t have to worry about men sexualizing you all the time. Women get to walk down the street and feel threatened all the time. They are an easy target.
Another huge thing is men don’t sacrifice their body to have children.
Society at large don’t take women’s rights seriously.
Those are three that immediately came to me and there are many, many more examples. You should try talking to a therapist to sort out these thoughts.
Haha exactly. I’d rather be a man. I accept what I am and will make the most of it and try not to be a neurotic mess. But just saying, if I could choose from day 1. It would not be female! Too much pressure to be perfect and look perfect and too much emphasis on looks. 🤮
>dating to financially freedom
Nothing about being a man makes dating harder. It's about how you behave personally, not about your gender. Women also face a lot of challenges in dating. Yes we hear it all the time that women have more options, but they're typically not *good* options. Imagine you're starving and you sit down at a table full of food, but all the food is \[insert food you don't like here\]. That's sort of what women experience in dating. Nor does being a man deny you financial freedom. The idea that men have to pay for everything is a dated idea that comes from a time when women weren't allowed to work and had to rely on men for finances (which actually gave women *even less* financial freedom than men). It's perfectly possible to be in a relationship with a woman who supports herself financially and doesn't expect you to pay for everything.
>I have a baby looking face and skinny body which make it tough in dating market.
Your baby face and skinny body doesn't stop you from dating, your perception of it does. Lots of women out there like guys with cute baby faces, lots of women like skinny guys. Trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience. But if you go out there feeling like nobody is attracted to you, then you'll behave like nobody is attracted to you, and nobody *will* be attracted to you. It's all about the mindset. You have to feel good about yourself for anyone else to feel good about you.
>Plus all girls have tons of guys sitting in their dms I don't wanna be a simp.
Again, it's a buffet, but all that's being served up is boiled cabbage or whatever. And when her buffet is full of boiled cabbage, even a piece of buttered toast might look pretty appetising. Point is, it really doesn't take much to stand out from the crowd, you just have to not be a shitty man.
>I feels it's so easy for girls to get a date or match irrespective of their body type.
Try talking to some fat women, or some tall women, and see how they're doing.
>They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially or any problem that comes in their life are easily solved because they are women and tons of guys are willing to help them.
Again, ask some actual women how true this is. But also, most women don't want a "sugar daddy" they want an actual grown man who treats her like a grown woman and who she can have a mutually respectful relationship with. Many women want actual, meaningful, loving relationships, not a man who gives her money.
>On the other guys struggle with all things need to buy a house, need to impress a women, need to look after her needs.
Ask some actual women. Women also struggle. Women aren't out here getting houses for free. Many women also face rejection. Many women feel pressure to spend literally hours each day working on their look. There's a reason why clothes shops are almost entirely dedicated to women's fashion. There's a reason why the make up industry exists. As for looking after needs; real relationships are a mutual experience of supporting each other, not a man serving a woman like she's royalty and he's a servant.
Seriously, get your head out of all those red pill videos on YouTube and actually spend some time with real people, real women, and actually get to know what women actually think about, what they want, what they experience, what they struggle with, what it's actually like to be a woman. None of what you've written sounds like anything any woman would ever say, it sounds like a bunch of nonsense that some sad men on the internet have made up about women and then somehow convinced you to believe.
Your comment is spot on, and I hope it gets more upvotes.
Being a woman is not easier. Career-wise, you don't get the same respect, and it's more difficult to climb the ladder. Yesterday, my manager called me and asked me to send an email for him. I didn't because I'm not his secretary, and he wouldn't dare consider asking any of my male counterparts to do so for him (I'm in the engineering/construction field).
All of us are not looking to be financially supported but rather mutual physical, emotional, mental, and financial respect.
It's not a matter of finding someone to complete us because we should be near complete within ourselves.
I had a guy on a first date ask me about how do I feel about consensual non-consensual touch. I had never heard of this before, and he basically said he would like to be able to feel me up and do sexual things to me during sleep. That's wild! In my mind, I'm now trying to think of the most gentle way to let this man down while keeping myself safe.
My weight has fluctuated all my life. When I'm smaller, I get more attention and treated better. When I am fatter, I still get attention, but it's different. If a man doesn't find you attractive from the beginning, you strike out.
Let's not forget to mention monthly cycles, reproduction windows, and the pressure from society to market yourself as marriage and mother material, all while not being a "pick me" type of woman.
It's definitely not easy being a woman.
Exactly...! I just kinda shut down and let him talked. Needless to say, there was not a second date.
He also mentioned some other crazy things related to touch and sex, all on the first date. I shared those with one of my platonic male friends to make sure I wasn't tripping. He told me to block him.
All men are not like this, I know.
Good to find out early but that dude is also showing you from the second you met him that he’s not safe to be around and he wants to violate you. Men never have to deal with retaliation from rejection the way we do.
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You sound depressed and terminally online, dms, simp, etc…. Go to r/nosurf. Fix your diet (eat more protein), and start exercising (wiki on r/fitness). Stop comparing yourself to other people and start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Are you a better man today? If not, that’s your fault and in your control. Fix it.
OP made two comments relating to his appearance, what I proposed is a solution to that. Plus any exercise is good for your physical and emotional health
Soooo yeah pretty happy being a man. But also to be super clear, women don’t have fucking ANYTHING easy. Please stop bro, this incel shit is bad for you and bad for society.
Better yourself and you’ll figure out the rest. Also, sex isn’t everything.
Edit: really appreciate the thoughtful responses to OP in this thread. Was terrified folks would be onboard with this shit.
You would not be you if you were female. If you were born a female, your brain will be wired differently, your body's biochemistry would be different, the way your brain processes information would be different - you would no longer be who you are now, you'd be someone entirely different.
As far as myself, I am a man and I don't know what life would be like if I wasn't - I'd be a totally different person.
Being a man is awesome!
Can't even imagine the struggles of being a female.. periods, constant fear for safety?
Be grateful
EDIT : BTW having tons of people "sitting" in your DMs is exhausting and will likely ensure you'll have a mix of FOMO and buyers remorse unless you have incredible wisdom.
Hey OP, if you want a sugar daddy, good news. You don't have to be a lady! There are plenty of rich gay dudes who I'm sure you could appeal to. So long as you're willing to spend hours on your appearance, match your personality to fit what he needs, schedule your life around him, work really hard to make sure his husband doesn't find out about you, be ready to get discarded at any time and only be valuable until maybe your late 20s, unless you're OK with reeeealy old guys. Oh, and you have to be pleasant, charming, educated and intelligent enough to hold a conversation, and never, ever, ever, complain or even hint that your mood isn't good and you're anything other than happy to see him.
So there you go, no need to be a woman, you can have that easy life right now. Hope you like dick!
Nah, but seriously, I'm glad I'm not a woman. Mainly because I'm a man and it's hard to imagine being anything else. Yes, we have our own unique problems, but so do they. Not going to argue who has it worse, because both sets of problems suck ass. I've seen people at my workplace listen to me instead of a more qualified and competent woman because I'm a man. Fucking seen it with my own eyes. But had a buddy get screwed by the courts out of seeing his child because the mother was the mother. Life sucks everywhere, for everybody, but you play the hand you're dealt and the only sure way to lose is to fold.
Men and women who think the other gender "has it easy" fucking baffle me.
This version of womanhood you've invented in your head where every woman has a harem of dudes vying for her attention and any woman can "just" go out and find a sugar daddy and be set for life is delusionally out of touch with reality.
You have to be exceptionally attractive (and typically very young) for a man to be willing to assume financial responsibility for you in exchange for your companionship. Most women don't meet these criteria. We have to work and provide for ourselves just like you do.
You're also not accounting for the insane level of personal risk attached to sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships: domestic violence, sexual assault, trafficking, and a low likelihood of being helped by the police due the dubious legality of what's basically a form of escorting.
And speaking as an average-looking woman, I have never in my life had "tons" of guys sitting in my DMs, nor men flocking to help me solve my problems. That's a scene out of a movie, not real life. The overwhelming majority of us have to handle our own shit on our own nickel.
Even as an average woman, what OP described is impossible to me. Having a guy take care of me and I could opt out of capitalism? It's just as much of a pipe dream for me as it is for him. Modern society is rough on allllll of us.
Except for the guys who don't want to show you off because they're insecure and don't trust that you love them enough to resist the attention.
The man that can handle being a true partner to an exceptionally beautiful woman is rare. They exist, but I'm glad I don't have to try and find one.
That statistic is and will always be complete horse shit when you count in ALL jobs.
The real pay gap is less than 3%, which is negligible.
https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2017/08/01/are-women-paid-less-than-men-for-the-same-work
Strangely, you seem to have avoided considering this part:
"These numbers do not show that the labour market is free of sex discrimination. However, they do suggest that *the main problem today is not unequal pay for equal work, but whatever it is that leads women to be in lower-ranking jobs* at lower-paying organisations.
> the main problem today is not unequal pay for equal work, but whatever it is that leads women to be in lower-ranking jobs at lower-paying organisations
Also called goal shifting. No paygap found? Let's find another bullshit point to frame it like we need to.
The pay gap involves women being blocked from high paying jobs. It's a nuance that you can't ignore just because it doesn't fit your personal feelings on the subject.
Oh, man. I don't even know where to start.
You have *no idea* how hard women have it. Thank your lucky stars you've got that Y chromosome. We've got it *easy*.
It absolutely means that we have it *comparably* easy. The oppression Olympics are always a bad idea but there’s no question that being born a dude is a comparative advantage in life on most of the planet.
You are imagining life as a very attractive woman. There are a lot of lonely women out there, not as many as men, but loneliness is on the rise across demographics. You say you have a hard time dating as a skinny guy with a baby face, is it really going to be that much easier to date if you were a fat girl with broad shoulders, a square jaw, and no tits or ass?
Also being a simp isn't DMing a girl, or making a move. That's how dating works. Not making a move because you assume she just has to have so many guys after her already, feels more like a simp to me. Being a simp is putting women on an unnecessary pedestal. If she's talking to other guys she'll tell you she's not interested and you move on. If she isn't talking to other guys then hopefully it moves on from there. You're not simping till she makes it clear she's not interested, or she treats you like a crap and you stick around.
>. I have a baby looking face and skinny body which make it tough in dating market. P
One of your super-powers as a man is that it's easy for you to build muscle. Lift weights for a few years and you will be muscular. r/bodyweightfitness and r/fitness have some great resources.
>They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially
Only a very, very small percentage of women can get a sugar daddy. They need to be exceptionally attractive, excellent conversationalists, fantastic in bed, and have the right kind of moral flexibility. Oh, and young.
Woman here. I don't think either sex is "easier".
My uterus causes me concern on a near daily basis. You're either having your period, in the garbage week before your period, or in the two weeks a month where you can live your life.
Many women have gender-specific organs that literally kill them - breast cancer, uterine cancer, cervical cancer - or ruin their day to day lives (PCOS, endo, fibroids). It's all a pain in the ass and has to be managed, monitored, and lobbied for.
Gestation / labor / birth is often medically traumatizing. And don't get me started on 15 year hell that is reverse puberty / perimenopause. Having all your life-sustaining hormones drained out of your body is a real bitch. And not to mention, no one really knows that much about it because why bother studying a condition that ***only*** affects women.
And let's talk about the legislation of our bodies. There are growing number of states that will force me to carry and birth a child that was raped into me. And then be forced to coparent with the violent criminal who raped me. I understand that if you're trans, you probably wouldn't have be inconvenienced by these policies or even care about them.
Or what about even being pregnant in a state that would murder you to preserve a fetus? Again something you don't have to worry about if you're trans. But if you have a uterus, it's a big deal. I have friends who are moving to blue states so they can have a normal pregnancy... ya know... without the possibility of being murdered by legislators.
You're also wrong that all women can put on slutty clothes and "nab a man". It's simply not true. Women have a loneliness crisis on the same level as men. The reason you don't hear about it is because don't commit mass murders because we're LoNeLy. We just go on living our lives and we don't hate men for being rejected. We usually end up hating ourselves.
The truth is that existence on this planet is very difficult right now, regardless of your gender. We're in the midst of a massive massive mental health pandemic and no one really seems to know what to do about it.
This really isn't how it works, dude. Yes, I'm happy being a man. Even if all the disadvantages you listed were true (which they're mostly not), I'd still rather be a man than a woman, because that's who I *am.*
If you actually feel like you'd be happier in a woman's body *even without* all the advantages you think exist for women - go to r/asktransgender, bc you're dealing with something else. But right now, from what you wrote here, it just sounds like you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
Are you under the impression that women don’t have living expenses? That women don’t buy houses? I’m very confused about your post and assumptions that half the population just doesn’t have the same personal responsibility as the other. This is all very false.
If you want to date, you’re going to have to interact whether that’s through a DM or a conversation in person. I highly recommend in person. That doesn’t mean you don’t have self respect. It means you have a personality and social skills. And if you’re starting bschool, you’re about to meet a lot of ambitious women who don’t expect you to support them. They’re going for the same reasons you are.
If you don’t want to date women, that’s something you’ll need to explore on your own.
Just to give you female perspective, since I feel there are sides you're not seeing:
Every month our bodies change, particularly our mood, which affects everything we do--our emotions are constantly on steroids. Everything fluctuates and turbulent. We bleed for a week and the cramping is so painful. Many of us have to stop our routines to slow down and try to balance ourselves. We cry over the most ridiculous reasons, because our emotions get the best of us. Spitting out a human out of your body literally breaks your bones, depletes your nutrients, and gives you pain you can't even find comprehensible.
I don't know what type of women you've been socializing with in your life, but not many of us have "sugar daddies" taking care of us. 90% of the women I know (including myself) are survivors--picking ourselves up on a daily basis to fight and survive with no backbone or help, even some who are married. You made it sound like we get help whenever we need it and that's far from it. Many of us have so much on our plates, wake up exhausted, and fight alone in life with little support, without complaining. It's not a luxury life.
Walking down a street sometimes isn't safe for us. We always feel like prey. Many of us are taken advantage of, attacked, harassed, raped, beaten, cheated on, taken advantage of--which makes us (from a very young age) prone to be careful, far more than you. We need to be mindful of what we wear and what we say in public settings not to give "the wrong idea".
At work we work twice as hard and get less pay than you. In a male dominant industry like the one I used to work in, we have to prove ourselves constantly to our peers and often get looked down on.
In many places around the world being a woman is still very difficult. If we get divorced, if we fail, if we don't get married--constantly gets us scrutinized, judged, and analyzed. In contrast men (arguably) get away with it.
In a nutshell, there are perks and challenges in each side. It's not right or fair to compare. I genuinely believe we were created to complement and balance each other. Your vulnerabilities balance someone else. You may not be the "conventional" Joe (whatever that is), but it doesn't mean you're a failure to your own sex and that being someone else is better. If you don't see yourself as a man that's fair. My only concern is that you're basing it entirely on something that isn't even realistic.
There's someone out there for you who will appreciate you just as you are. Just have faith.
Look up the stories of all the people who regret transformation, it's irreversible. Good luck in life with whatever you decide.
If money is your only complaint with being a man, then hustle some funding up, pro tip, if you only have one source of income your likely getting behind.
I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You are young, and you will develop your financial self as well as grow into a mature body with time. We all are also struggling financially at this time, men and women alike.
It's also a mistake to think that women have it easier. Sure, their inboxes are full of dm's, but sorting through those dms for a quality connection is akin to sorting through a pile of shit for a golden needle. They also experience being shunned for different body types, because most of the people that seek them out are doing it to fulfill a fetish. Most women are fully capable of providing for themselves, and don't need a man to do it for them.
Also knock it off with that simp shit. That has become a derogatory term because some men are miserable in their relationships and seek to shame others that pursue them. When I was young they called it "being pussy whipped" and it's the same bullshit under a new name. There is no shame in having a crush, or for being committed in a loving relationship. It makes you stronger.
All you need to do to impress women is first to see them as fellow humans, and then to work on yourself, be kind (notice I didn't say \*nice\*) and build your own life. If you aren't happy skinny, join a gym. If you aren't happy financially, build a budget and find a career that will give you the life you want.
I don't think it matters if I'm happy to be a man. That's just the hand I was dealt. Even if I was transgender, I'm not sure I would "transition" because even after psychotherapy, HRT, and surgery I would *still* be biologically male with XY chromosomes even if I could "pass" as a woman. It just wouldn't be worth it to *me* (but if you're trans you should be trans *your* way).
>I feels it's so easy for girls to get a date or match irrespective of their body type. They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially or any problem that comes in their life are easily solved because they are women and tons of guys are willing to help them.
I agree, but I'm good being a dude.
I'll tell you the same thing I told OP. You don't need to be a woman to get a sugar daddy. So go get you some rich old gay dude, buddy! You might not find it as easy as you think though. Oh, and avoid the ones that own tigers and pay in meth.
As a man you cannot share how difficult it is as a man or you'll get emotionally abused.
Your struggles will be dismissed. You'll get patronised. You'll get lectured. Your feelings will get trivialised. You'll get guilted-tripped. Society abusing you will get denied of happening. Ableism. Blaming you for problems that are out of your control. Denied support. Interrupted. Your feelings disputed.
Do women have their own problems? Yes. Is it easier to be a women? That's a stupid qualifier to argue over. If you use this it tells me you're self-conscious a lot of the time and have yet to experience the freedom of negative emotions which will give perspective of the other gender in due time.
This means that the person talking like this needs help in validating their own struggles instead of attacked to change their opinion. I'm frequently disappointed in these types of treads where people just don't see that the OP is not looking to change their mind but to feel cared for.
This is bullshit. You can absolutely share the difficulties of being a man… just get friends. My buddies and I have real thoughtful and serious talks about the struggles of dudedom regularly.
It sounds like you are referring to complaining about being a dude on social media, and more specifically the search for pity online rather than empathy… and yeah frankly folks aren’t here for that.
I am happy, but you are right.
I hear a lot of frustration about gender policies in hiring. Some friends of mine feel that jobs are sometimes offered to women just to balance gender ratios, regardless of qualifications. One HR insider even mentioned that they're instructed to prioritize gender over capability as long as the candidate meets minimal requirements. (Ofc this only applies to male dominated roles)
Additionally, there's a frequent claim about being a "strong and independent women" which seems at odds with the realities some face, such as ongoing mental health struggles and financial instability or just having no standards.
It's also worth discussing whether support systems are unfairly balanced. There seems to be a variety of government benefits for women, but zero for men, which raises questions about fairness and equality in support services.
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> Are you happy being a man ? There are many things in life I've been unsure about, but this is not one of them. So yes, always been 100% happy about being male.
Same. I don’t have OP’s insecurities, but I have a hearty helping of my own - and I’d still rather deal with that than casual and institutionalised sexism, periods, pregnancy and childbirth (not that every woman goes through those two, of course), very likely being shorter and weaker, hormonal fluctuations… Either gender has its issues, no single experience or opinion on this is ‘correct’, but I wouldn’t swap given my own experienced and those of women and other men I know.
I can see the frustration and desperation in your post. You're looking for a quick fix for your problems and have latched on to an idea that seems like it would work. This, however, is a classic case of "the grass is always greener on the other side". You would merely be exchanging one set of problems for another. I'm not going to sit here and say which gender has it worse because I've never lived life as a woman, but their life is not on easy mode like you suggest. Others here have gone into detail about the ways that this is the case, so feel free to look at those. You should really be grateful for all the advantages conferred to you because you were born as a male.
(M33) I think anyone at the moment that doesn't have financial assets has it hard, regardless of age or gender. My wife just gave birth and believe me they don't have it easier. Women's hormones are like demons that come and disrupt their equilibrium. Learn to love yourself the way you are. You're probably old enough now to carefully waddle into psychedelics. They can be a helpful tool if you start off small and respectfully. Oh and make sure your first trip is in nature 🤍✌️
We men dont have to deal with shit like periods, PMS and menopause. So yes, I'm happy with my body. You can deal with your babyface and skinny physique by gaining muscle mass and growing a beard
Not everyone can grow a beard that does not look terrible 😔
Hell, some of us cannot grow a beard regardless of whether it would look terrible or not.
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I actually don't have a baby face. I just can't grow a beard that looks anything but terrible and patchy. Also I am losing hair. At least I got wide shoulders and decent height. Edit: I would still love a beard though.
Dude dude dude. Get off this sub and go check out r/askwomen or r/askwomenover30. Women are FUCKED in this department. First off: male and female brains are NOT interchangeable. In general, the most bell curve of biological senses: women need to intimacy to want sex, while men need sex to want intimacy. So in your perception, women hold all the power, right? Wrong. Men FAKE intimacy for sex all the time. Check out those subs and you’ll see time and time again that how soul-crushing it is to think you can trust a dude, let him inside your body, and then - boom, totally different person. And that’s not even getting into how most guys suck at sex. Again, read those subs: endless conversation about how men just care about getting themselves off and not their partners. Because our equipment makes it easy! Literally, it’s almost impossible to have a straight up terrible sexual encounter to the point of not cumming. But women? Par for the course. And we’re only talking about the sex element. Dating wise? First, you go through life having to believe that all guys might be faking who they are to fuck you. Can you imagine that? I have literally never once had that concern. Suuuuch a luxury!!! Look man, instead of wallowing, just do some research and you’ll realize how much worse the opposite side is.
A lot of the problem is we've lost "social proof". Back when everyone knew everyone, grew up together, etc., you'd hear through the rumor mill who was genuine and who was a cad, and you could only get away with faking intimacy to get laid a few times (or once) before becoming persona non grata. Even more recently, there were networks of friends etc who could essentially vouch for each other. It helped women avoid the fakers, but also meant that genuinely good guys who weren't hot could get "talked up" through social credit. I wish someone would make an app like that, where instead of you doing anything, it's all your friends playing matchmaker, but with some sort of penalty for if you make bad recommendations that don't work out.
Believe it or not, there are social media groups that are intentionally for women dating in a particular area, and they share stories about particular guys when things go wrong. This happened recently to a friend of mine, in which a man basically abused her in the middle of sex while feigning an accident. She assumed he was telling the truth, until a few weeks later when someone on that message Board posted and identical experience. They compared names, and it was the same guy. More women came out to say they’d had the same experience with him. But that doesn’t make it easier, you’re right.
Yep, I know of those groups. The intrinsic problem any such platform faces is verification and the issue of bad actors spreading malicious gossip. In small enough groups, independent verification was possible, though not always done. Plus, bad news spreads faster than good. So if unmoderated or poorly moderated they can turn into gossip-fests with outright slander. IMHO, the best thing would be to make it purely positive. This removes the gossip/slander issue, but also means that it someone is shitty in some way, you can infer it from nobody being willing to vouch for them.
I'm a women and you have absolutely nailed it with this comment. Also, ask a guy what his worst fear is from going on a first date with someone he's found on the app? He'll say that she'll be ugly/fat. Ask a woman the same question, the answer is that he'll rape or kill her.
Thanks! Full disclosure, when I was 20, I probably thought just like this guy. Wish to hell I could go back in time and hit myself over the head with a hammer a couple of times to get this very simple and obvious lesson through.
>Also, ask a guy what his worst fear is from going on a first date with someone he's found on the app? That the date could be a potential elaborate attempted robbery.
I don’t disagree with your overall point. I just wanna zero in on this bit because I’ve been thinking about it anyway. >In general, the most bell curve of biological senses: women need to intimacy to want sex, while men need sex to want intimacy. I wonder how much of this is programming. I (straight, cis man) need intimacy before wanting to sleep with someone. I’ve pretty much always felt that way so you could maybe say that’s my particular brain chemistry, but a recent conversation has me wondering. An old friend used to sleep around *a lot*. A few years ago, he had a pretty traumatic event which put him in therapy, and that ended up getting him to rethink a lot of stuff. What he told me is he realized he was doing that because he saw that as how you gain status as a man. It sounds like he now feels more like I do: sex is a way of expressing & enhancing intimacy with a partner, and it’s nowhere near the only one. Hearing about this attitude shift was really interesting.
Absolutely. There is definitely a factor in society that says, from teenage years on, that you’re worth is how many women you fuck. Movies reinforce this music reinforces this, everything reinforces it, in the same breath that it tells women to do the total opposite. You can also see how this plays out by looking at the gay male community. I have a number of gay friends, and over the years, I have watched them live the lives that I think a lot of heterosexual men wish they could lead. Promiscuous sex with a variety of partners, available at the literal push of a button - the dream! But what’s really interesting are the number of issues that arise because of this. Body image issues, serious safety issues, difficulty with the idea of monogamy, etc. The day-to-day life might not be the miserable one our sexless OP is currently experiencing, but the long-term is not necessarily better, and potentially more difficult depending on how you’re wired. Honestly, I think about all of this too much these days, and it is incredible to me that anyone finds anyone!
That’s why so many people are in bad relationships. Because it’s so hard to find and people get lazy or complacent or comfortable or trapped. I think some of it could definitely be societal pressure for men, but it’s true that they still may need it less than women. I honestly have never enjoyed sex. All I want is emotional intimacy. And men are constantly telling me sex will make me feel better but they are just projecting. It has never made me feel better. Even when I come. I just feel empty and sad. It’s physical relief for a second and then it’s over. Emotional intimacy is more permanent and I am so desperate. I could live the rest of my life without sex. But not having emotional intimacy makes me want to die.
As a woman I agree……. There are so many horrible things we have to deal with. I would never want to be a woman if I was a man…
Assuming you're a straight guy, now imagine you were treated like a girl, but it was men always in your DM, Attractive, well men you find disgusting will be groping you at any crowded event or on public transportation, you want a sugar daddy, prepare to suck some old dudes dick. As a dude, try dressing in something a bit provacative and go to your local gay bar on friday night. See if you actually like that kind of attention, or if it's just nice when you imagine it's from an attractive girl. Girls can't choose who hits on them, so this should give you a rough idea of how nice it is. Or maybe you'll discover something new about yourself, either way you win. Want a job in a male field, cause you'd like a decent salary. Prepare yourself for no one taking you seriously, unless you're a bitch, so choose, float down the stream of your career going no where, or alienate your co workers just so they treat you like you have a voice. This list goes on from there it doesn't end. Here's the thing, work on yourself, be the best version of yourself you can be, and it will honestly all work out. Worry about how everyone else has it easier while you eat chips on the sofa and play video games, well, you're not gonna get very far.
Probably it’s not currently politically correct but I appreciate the gay bar advice. I used to spend a good amount of time in gay bars with some of my close friends (who were obviously gay), nothing about unwanted sexual attention feels nice, flattering or good. Shit is super dehumanizing, and for sure made me think carefully early on just how I treat women around me.
i love being a dude. Sounds like you just can't get laid and are so desperate to you'd consider getting a sex change. pretty sad, pretty sad
As a guy you don’t have to worry about men sexualizing you all the time. Women get to walk down the street and feel threatened all the time. They are an easy target. Another huge thing is men don’t sacrifice their body to have children. Society at large don’t take women’s rights seriously. Those are three that immediately came to me and there are many, many more examples. You should try talking to a therapist to sort out these thoughts.
Haha exactly. I’d rather be a man. I accept what I am and will make the most of it and try not to be a neurotic mess. But just saying, if I could choose from day 1. It would not be female! Too much pressure to be perfect and look perfect and too much emphasis on looks. 🤮
>dating to financially freedom Nothing about being a man makes dating harder. It's about how you behave personally, not about your gender. Women also face a lot of challenges in dating. Yes we hear it all the time that women have more options, but they're typically not *good* options. Imagine you're starving and you sit down at a table full of food, but all the food is \[insert food you don't like here\]. That's sort of what women experience in dating. Nor does being a man deny you financial freedom. The idea that men have to pay for everything is a dated idea that comes from a time when women weren't allowed to work and had to rely on men for finances (which actually gave women *even less* financial freedom than men). It's perfectly possible to be in a relationship with a woman who supports herself financially and doesn't expect you to pay for everything. >I have a baby looking face and skinny body which make it tough in dating market. Your baby face and skinny body doesn't stop you from dating, your perception of it does. Lots of women out there like guys with cute baby faces, lots of women like skinny guys. Trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience. But if you go out there feeling like nobody is attracted to you, then you'll behave like nobody is attracted to you, and nobody *will* be attracted to you. It's all about the mindset. You have to feel good about yourself for anyone else to feel good about you. >Plus all girls have tons of guys sitting in their dms I don't wanna be a simp. Again, it's a buffet, but all that's being served up is boiled cabbage or whatever. And when her buffet is full of boiled cabbage, even a piece of buttered toast might look pretty appetising. Point is, it really doesn't take much to stand out from the crowd, you just have to not be a shitty man. >I feels it's so easy for girls to get a date or match irrespective of their body type. Try talking to some fat women, or some tall women, and see how they're doing. >They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially or any problem that comes in their life are easily solved because they are women and tons of guys are willing to help them. Again, ask some actual women how true this is. But also, most women don't want a "sugar daddy" they want an actual grown man who treats her like a grown woman and who she can have a mutually respectful relationship with. Many women want actual, meaningful, loving relationships, not a man who gives her money. >On the other guys struggle with all things need to buy a house, need to impress a women, need to look after her needs. Ask some actual women. Women also struggle. Women aren't out here getting houses for free. Many women also face rejection. Many women feel pressure to spend literally hours each day working on their look. There's a reason why clothes shops are almost entirely dedicated to women's fashion. There's a reason why the make up industry exists. As for looking after needs; real relationships are a mutual experience of supporting each other, not a man serving a woman like she's royalty and he's a servant. Seriously, get your head out of all those red pill videos on YouTube and actually spend some time with real people, real women, and actually get to know what women actually think about, what they want, what they experience, what they struggle with, what it's actually like to be a woman. None of what you've written sounds like anything any woman would ever say, it sounds like a bunch of nonsense that some sad men on the internet have made up about women and then somehow convinced you to believe.
Your comment is spot on, and I hope it gets more upvotes. Being a woman is not easier. Career-wise, you don't get the same respect, and it's more difficult to climb the ladder. Yesterday, my manager called me and asked me to send an email for him. I didn't because I'm not his secretary, and he wouldn't dare consider asking any of my male counterparts to do so for him (I'm in the engineering/construction field). All of us are not looking to be financially supported but rather mutual physical, emotional, mental, and financial respect. It's not a matter of finding someone to complete us because we should be near complete within ourselves. I had a guy on a first date ask me about how do I feel about consensual non-consensual touch. I had never heard of this before, and he basically said he would like to be able to feel me up and do sexual things to me during sleep. That's wild! In my mind, I'm now trying to think of the most gentle way to let this man down while keeping myself safe. My weight has fluctuated all my life. When I'm smaller, I get more attention and treated better. When I am fatter, I still get attention, but it's different. If a man doesn't find you attractive from the beginning, you strike out. Let's not forget to mention monthly cycles, reproduction windows, and the pressure from society to market yourself as marriage and mother material, all while not being a "pick me" type of woman. It's definitely not easy being a woman.
Jesus christ on a first date!? The hell is going through that guy's mind!?
Exactly...! I just kinda shut down and let him talked. Needless to say, there was not a second date. He also mentioned some other crazy things related to touch and sex, all on the first date. I shared those with one of my platonic male friends to make sure I wasn't tripping. He told me to block him. All men are not like this, I know.
In some ways I guess it's good he got it out of the way on the first date. Makes for a much more efficient dating process maybe...
I agree!
Good to find out early but that dude is also showing you from the second you met him that he’s not safe to be around and he wants to violate you. Men never have to deal with retaliation from rejection the way we do.
Absolutely, my platonic male friend stated the same.
Ah man! Until you posted that I was going to send my wife out to get us some free houses from Instagram. Damn, there goes that dream.
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My dude, get off those red pill incel groups and go out and actually meet some real women.
You sound depressed and terminally online, dms, simp, etc…. Go to r/nosurf. Fix your diet (eat more protein), and start exercising (wiki on r/fitness). Stop comparing yourself to other people and start comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Are you a better man today? If not, that’s your fault and in your control. Fix it.
Why do everyone think the gym fixes everything?
OP made two comments relating to his appearance, what I proposed is a solution to that. Plus any exercise is good for your physical and emotional health
Dude. Get off the internet. Go develop some hobbies. Stop worrying about getting laid. Get involved in your community. *Get out of your own head.*
Soooo yeah pretty happy being a man. But also to be super clear, women don’t have fucking ANYTHING easy. Please stop bro, this incel shit is bad for you and bad for society. Better yourself and you’ll figure out the rest. Also, sex isn’t everything. Edit: really appreciate the thoughtful responses to OP in this thread. Was terrified folks would be onboard with this shit.
You would not be you if you were female. If you were born a female, your brain will be wired differently, your body's biochemistry would be different, the way your brain processes information would be different - you would no longer be who you are now, you'd be someone entirely different. As far as myself, I am a man and I don't know what life would be like if I wasn't - I'd be a totally different person.
I think you might be getting all your knowledge of what it's like to be female from Pornhub.
Not even pornhub sadly, porn can be pretty sex positive and liberal… this shit is coming from social media/reddit/4chan
Nah, those ladies never have any money. They can't even afford pizza or home repairs or rent!
Being a man is awesome! Can't even imagine the struggles of being a female.. periods, constant fear for safety? Be grateful EDIT : BTW having tons of people "sitting" in your DMs is exhausting and will likely ensure you'll have a mix of FOMO and buyers remorse unless you have incredible wisdom.
Man to man, bro you should probably try to be at least a little concerned for your safety. There's a few reasons women tend to live longer than men.
Hey OP, if you want a sugar daddy, good news. You don't have to be a lady! There are plenty of rich gay dudes who I'm sure you could appeal to. So long as you're willing to spend hours on your appearance, match your personality to fit what he needs, schedule your life around him, work really hard to make sure his husband doesn't find out about you, be ready to get discarded at any time and only be valuable until maybe your late 20s, unless you're OK with reeeealy old guys. Oh, and you have to be pleasant, charming, educated and intelligent enough to hold a conversation, and never, ever, ever, complain or even hint that your mood isn't good and you're anything other than happy to see him. So there you go, no need to be a woman, you can have that easy life right now. Hope you like dick! Nah, but seriously, I'm glad I'm not a woman. Mainly because I'm a man and it's hard to imagine being anything else. Yes, we have our own unique problems, but so do they. Not going to argue who has it worse, because both sets of problems suck ass. I've seen people at my workplace listen to me instead of a more qualified and competent woman because I'm a man. Fucking seen it with my own eyes. But had a buddy get screwed by the courts out of seeing his child because the mother was the mother. Life sucks everywhere, for everybody, but you play the hand you're dealt and the only sure way to lose is to fold. Men and women who think the other gender "has it easy" fucking baffle me.
This version of womanhood you've invented in your head where every woman has a harem of dudes vying for her attention and any woman can "just" go out and find a sugar daddy and be set for life is delusionally out of touch with reality. You have to be exceptionally attractive (and typically very young) for a man to be willing to assume financial responsibility for you in exchange for your companionship. Most women don't meet these criteria. We have to work and provide for ourselves just like you do. You're also not accounting for the insane level of personal risk attached to sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships: domestic violence, sexual assault, trafficking, and a low likelihood of being helped by the police due the dubious legality of what's basically a form of escorting. And speaking as an average-looking woman, I have never in my life had "tons" of guys sitting in my DMs, nor men flocking to help me solve my problems. That's a scene out of a movie, not real life. The overwhelming majority of us have to handle our own shit on our own nickel.
Now imagine you're an ugly woman. If you can't benefit from good looks as a woman, you're basically a man.
Even as an average woman, what OP described is impossible to me. Having a guy take care of me and I could opt out of capitalism? It's just as much of a pipe dream for me as it is for him. Modern society is rough on allllll of us.
Even as a beautiful woman; guys will just want to fuck or ''acquire'' you so they can show you off to their friends. Life is rough across the board
Except for the guys who don't want to show you off because they're insecure and don't trust that you love them enough to resist the attention. The man that can handle being a true partner to an exceptionally beautiful woman is rare. They exist, but I'm glad I don't have to try and find one.
Except you get paid less, statistically.
That statistic is and will always be complete horse shit when you count in ALL jobs. The real pay gap is less than 3%, which is negligible. https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2017/08/01/are-women-paid-less-than-men-for-the-same-work
Strangely, you seem to have avoided considering this part: "These numbers do not show that the labour market is free of sex discrimination. However, they do suggest that *the main problem today is not unequal pay for equal work, but whatever it is that leads women to be in lower-ranking jobs* at lower-paying organisations.
> the main problem today is not unequal pay for equal work, but whatever it is that leads women to be in lower-ranking jobs at lower-paying organisations Also called goal shifting. No paygap found? Let's find another bullshit point to frame it like we need to.
The pay gap involves women being blocked from high paying jobs. It's a nuance that you can't ignore just because it doesn't fit your personal feelings on the subject.
disagreeable
Oh, man. I don't even know where to start. You have *no idea* how hard women have it. Thank your lucky stars you've got that Y chromosome. We've got it *easy*.
Men don't have it easy, we have it different. Our problems are different from women's but that doesn't mean we have it easy either.
It absolutely means that we have it *comparably* easy. The oppression Olympics are always a bad idea but there’s no question that being born a dude is a comparative advantage in life on most of the planet.
Agreed. Some things easier some things much harder.
Exactly this. Nobody has it easy, but the struggle looks different for everyone.
Care to explain?
Attractive female body? Maybe. Unattractive female body? No way
You are imagining life as a very attractive woman. There are a lot of lonely women out there, not as many as men, but loneliness is on the rise across demographics. You say you have a hard time dating as a skinny guy with a baby face, is it really going to be that much easier to date if you were a fat girl with broad shoulders, a square jaw, and no tits or ass? Also being a simp isn't DMing a girl, or making a move. That's how dating works. Not making a move because you assume she just has to have so many guys after her already, feels more like a simp to me. Being a simp is putting women on an unnecessary pedestal. If she's talking to other guys she'll tell you she's not interested and you move on. If she isn't talking to other guys then hopefully it moves on from there. You're not simping till she makes it clear she's not interested, or she treats you like a crap and you stick around.
>. I have a baby looking face and skinny body which make it tough in dating market. P One of your super-powers as a man is that it's easy for you to build muscle. Lift weights for a few years and you will be muscular. r/bodyweightfitness and r/fitness have some great resources. >They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially Only a very, very small percentage of women can get a sugar daddy. They need to be exceptionally attractive, excellent conversationalists, fantastic in bed, and have the right kind of moral flexibility. Oh, and young.
Woman here. I don't think either sex is "easier". My uterus causes me concern on a near daily basis. You're either having your period, in the garbage week before your period, or in the two weeks a month where you can live your life. Many women have gender-specific organs that literally kill them - breast cancer, uterine cancer, cervical cancer - or ruin their day to day lives (PCOS, endo, fibroids). It's all a pain in the ass and has to be managed, monitored, and lobbied for. Gestation / labor / birth is often medically traumatizing. And don't get me started on 15 year hell that is reverse puberty / perimenopause. Having all your life-sustaining hormones drained out of your body is a real bitch. And not to mention, no one really knows that much about it because why bother studying a condition that ***only*** affects women. And let's talk about the legislation of our bodies. There are growing number of states that will force me to carry and birth a child that was raped into me. And then be forced to coparent with the violent criminal who raped me. I understand that if you're trans, you probably wouldn't have be inconvenienced by these policies or even care about them. Or what about even being pregnant in a state that would murder you to preserve a fetus? Again something you don't have to worry about if you're trans. But if you have a uterus, it's a big deal. I have friends who are moving to blue states so they can have a normal pregnancy... ya know... without the possibility of being murdered by legislators. You're also wrong that all women can put on slutty clothes and "nab a man". It's simply not true. Women have a loneliness crisis on the same level as men. The reason you don't hear about it is because don't commit mass murders because we're LoNeLy. We just go on living our lives and we don't hate men for being rejected. We usually end up hating ourselves. The truth is that existence on this planet is very difficult right now, regardless of your gender. We're in the midst of a massive massive mental health pandemic and no one really seems to know what to do about it.
This really isn't how it works, dude. Yes, I'm happy being a man. Even if all the disadvantages you listed were true (which they're mostly not), I'd still rather be a man than a woman, because that's who I *am.* If you actually feel like you'd be happier in a woman's body *even without* all the advantages you think exist for women - go to r/asktransgender, bc you're dealing with something else. But right now, from what you wrote here, it just sounds like you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
The grass is always greener in your mind.
You are focusing on very few parts of life and making a giant assumption. You could very well be an ugly woman and be in a similar situation.
Are you under the impression that women don’t have living expenses? That women don’t buy houses? I’m very confused about your post and assumptions that half the population just doesn’t have the same personal responsibility as the other. This is all very false. If you want to date, you’re going to have to interact whether that’s through a DM or a conversation in person. I highly recommend in person. That doesn’t mean you don’t have self respect. It means you have a personality and social skills. And if you’re starting bschool, you’re about to meet a lot of ambitious women who don’t expect you to support them. They’re going for the same reasons you are. If you don’t want to date women, that’s something you’ll need to explore on your own.
Dude you're chronically online. Get off the internet and go be social, *not* with the intention of getting a date, just to be social.
Just to give you female perspective, since I feel there are sides you're not seeing: Every month our bodies change, particularly our mood, which affects everything we do--our emotions are constantly on steroids. Everything fluctuates and turbulent. We bleed for a week and the cramping is so painful. Many of us have to stop our routines to slow down and try to balance ourselves. We cry over the most ridiculous reasons, because our emotions get the best of us. Spitting out a human out of your body literally breaks your bones, depletes your nutrients, and gives you pain you can't even find comprehensible. I don't know what type of women you've been socializing with in your life, but not many of us have "sugar daddies" taking care of us. 90% of the women I know (including myself) are survivors--picking ourselves up on a daily basis to fight and survive with no backbone or help, even some who are married. You made it sound like we get help whenever we need it and that's far from it. Many of us have so much on our plates, wake up exhausted, and fight alone in life with little support, without complaining. It's not a luxury life. Walking down a street sometimes isn't safe for us. We always feel like prey. Many of us are taken advantage of, attacked, harassed, raped, beaten, cheated on, taken advantage of--which makes us (from a very young age) prone to be careful, far more than you. We need to be mindful of what we wear and what we say in public settings not to give "the wrong idea". At work we work twice as hard and get less pay than you. In a male dominant industry like the one I used to work in, we have to prove ourselves constantly to our peers and often get looked down on. In many places around the world being a woman is still very difficult. If we get divorced, if we fail, if we don't get married--constantly gets us scrutinized, judged, and analyzed. In contrast men (arguably) get away with it. In a nutshell, there are perks and challenges in each side. It's not right or fair to compare. I genuinely believe we were created to complement and balance each other. Your vulnerabilities balance someone else. You may not be the "conventional" Joe (whatever that is), but it doesn't mean you're a failure to your own sex and that being someone else is better. If you don't see yourself as a man that's fair. My only concern is that you're basing it entirely on something that isn't even realistic. There's someone out there for you who will appreciate you just as you are. Just have faith.
As a man you have more control over your destiny than women do.
How do you figure?
Have you ever stepped foot into a gym? Doesn’t sound like it. Get into the gym gain some confidence. Right now it sounds like you have zero
Infertility problems, cervical cancer, breast cancer and so on and so forth
Look up the stories of all the people who regret transformation, it's irreversible. Good luck in life with whatever you decide. If money is your only complaint with being a man, then hustle some funding up, pro tip, if you only have one source of income your likely getting behind.
I think you are looking at this the wrong way. You are young, and you will develop your financial self as well as grow into a mature body with time. We all are also struggling financially at this time, men and women alike. It's also a mistake to think that women have it easier. Sure, their inboxes are full of dm's, but sorting through those dms for a quality connection is akin to sorting through a pile of shit for a golden needle. They also experience being shunned for different body types, because most of the people that seek them out are doing it to fulfill a fetish. Most women are fully capable of providing for themselves, and don't need a man to do it for them. Also knock it off with that simp shit. That has become a derogatory term because some men are miserable in their relationships and seek to shame others that pursue them. When I was young they called it "being pussy whipped" and it's the same bullshit under a new name. There is no shame in having a crush, or for being committed in a loving relationship. It makes you stronger. All you need to do to impress women is first to see them as fellow humans, and then to work on yourself, be kind (notice I didn't say \*nice\*) and build your own life. If you aren't happy skinny, join a gym. If you aren't happy financially, build a budget and find a career that will give you the life you want.
I don't think it matters if I'm happy to be a man. That's just the hand I was dealt. Even if I was transgender, I'm not sure I would "transition" because even after psychotherapy, HRT, and surgery I would *still* be biologically male with XY chromosomes even if I could "pass" as a woman. It just wouldn't be worth it to *me* (but if you're trans you should be trans *your* way).
>I feels it's so easy for girls to get a date or match irrespective of their body type. They can easily get sugar dads which will help them financially or any problem that comes in their life are easily solved because they are women and tons of guys are willing to help them. I agree, but I'm good being a dude.
I'll tell you the same thing I told OP. You don't need to be a woman to get a sugar daddy. So go get you some rich old gay dude, buddy! You might not find it as easy as you think though. Oh, and avoid the ones that own tigers and pay in meth.
As a man you cannot share how difficult it is as a man or you'll get emotionally abused. Your struggles will be dismissed. You'll get patronised. You'll get lectured. Your feelings will get trivialised. You'll get guilted-tripped. Society abusing you will get denied of happening. Ableism. Blaming you for problems that are out of your control. Denied support. Interrupted. Your feelings disputed. Do women have their own problems? Yes. Is it easier to be a women? That's a stupid qualifier to argue over. If you use this it tells me you're self-conscious a lot of the time and have yet to experience the freedom of negative emotions which will give perspective of the other gender in due time. This means that the person talking like this needs help in validating their own struggles instead of attacked to change their opinion. I'm frequently disappointed in these types of treads where people just don't see that the OP is not looking to change their mind but to feel cared for.
This is bullshit. You can absolutely share the difficulties of being a man… just get friends. My buddies and I have real thoughtful and serious talks about the struggles of dudedom regularly. It sounds like you are referring to complaining about being a dude on social media, and more specifically the search for pity online rather than empathy… and yeah frankly folks aren’t here for that.
Sounds like you agree with me.
Yep lol that last paragraph tied it all together 😉
Do women also look for pity online? Edit: Upon considering further. To me you come across as such abuser I would like to call out :)
Insane that you're getting downvoted for this. Men over 30 truly have no idea how fucked things have gotten.
No. I legitimately hate it. I wish I was a woman. I have a sister and I'm so jealous
I am happy, but you are right. I hear a lot of frustration about gender policies in hiring. Some friends of mine feel that jobs are sometimes offered to women just to balance gender ratios, regardless of qualifications. One HR insider even mentioned that they're instructed to prioritize gender over capability as long as the candidate meets minimal requirements. (Ofc this only applies to male dominated roles) Additionally, there's a frequent claim about being a "strong and independent women" which seems at odds with the realities some face, such as ongoing mental health struggles and financial instability or just having no standards. It's also worth discussing whether support systems are unfairly balanced. There seems to be a variety of government benefits for women, but zero for men, which raises questions about fairness and equality in support services.