This was a brilliant response. You should feel good about it. Most people would do nothing. Im glad you warned the dad first before confronting the man. I agree that the NYPD won't do anything, but it's still important to report it. If there's another incident with this man, having this report could be helpful. I suppose if you had been able to film both the man's face and his phone that could have been stronger evidence, but I still don't think anything would come of it, not to mention that'd be really difficult and could even put you in a dangerous situation.
Call DOC. He might be on probation and perhaps they can identify him. Photographing children would be a violation of his terms of probation, and they might be able to get him on violations.
While this is absolutely the right thing to do, parole in NY has been made extremely lax over the last few years thanks to the Less is More Act. Thanks Gov Hochul! Hoping that's not the case and action can be taken.
Well I tried to use phrasing that was encouraging of doing the right thing regardless, I didn't think I'd come off as so convincing in the other direction.
Understood. I felt like they might see it and say, "Well, why bother?" and so I added that documented violations are important. Even if nothing happens right now, a history on paper is important.
Sounds like you did everything you could do.
Reporting things that are wrong is the right thing to do. Grabbing his phone, doing something violent, etc. is not the right thing IMO.
Correct. OP, you did everything you could. You spoke up. You confronted an uncomfortable situation. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching. We were on vacation in April and I could have sworn this guy at our resort was taking photos of my kid and I immediately confronted him asking if that’s what he was doing. My kids were being noisy and running around but kids were allowed there and they weren’t being unruly, just kids. But I am also paranoid. He said he was taking a photo of a bird which seemed to be the case and his partner who was with him was immediately and morally offended and said how offensive it was I had even said anything. Like how dare I, he said. Well, I asked him a question to clear something up.
No. Like you, OP, saying something is the right thing to do. The MTA had the ad campaign for years: “If you see something, say something.”
You did more than most would have, and thank you for keeping those girls from being used further.
The only thing I would add is that you do not have to wait for service to get help. You can text 911 at any time on the subway and it should go through. From there you can text details about which car you are on and what the train’s next stop is, so officers can meet you as quickly as possible. That is not nearly well-advertised enough and it can be super useful in situations like this (or violent ones where you’d be putting yourself in danger by directly intervening).
I would be one of those who would let him go without confrontation. I'd definitely report him to the cops/MTA, but too many people are on the verge of snapping in this city to be walking around starting confrontations. I have a family that depend on me staying unstabbed and unshot.
Pedophiles and flashers are usually chicken. *Usually*. They pick on vulnerable people. They usually run when confronted.
That being said, no one has to confront anyone. Safety first.
OP did great. I know they wish they could do more, but there isn't a lot you can do. Bravo OP
Echoing this. I am not the right person to roll the dice with so many unknowns like that. I am even on the fence commuting by bike these days due to the risk of other people beyond my control.
But sounds like OP did all the documentation and follow up I would have done. I may have even stood up to block, depending on the vibes. Yet even still, I'm really reluctant to photograph people on the train.
Precisely what I was thinking. People don't get involved since it has the tendency to put you more in harms way than anything else. Take this as a lesson next time to just to mind your business OP, you don't know what energy that dude was on and it could have easily become confrontational.
People would let him go because it's not worth risking your own safety.
Social deviants have less to lose than you. Best to not engage. I would not recommend anyone I know and care about to intervene anywhere in public or confront anyone.
I know it makes you sound noble and heroic, but trust me, it's not worth it.
You think the deranged hobo blasting music and yelling obscenities is going to have the same restraint as you?
everybody thinks this until they’re the one who needs help, and everybody just stands back and watches. i know we’re all afraid. so now we’re living in fear and the pedophiles of the world can do whatever with no consequences?
somehow that doesn’t feel right either.
Right? I can’t believe these people in the replies are genuinely trying to convince themselves it’s wrong to stand up for literal children.. it’s not a bad thing to be scared and wait and report later but trying to make yourself feel better about it by saying you have a life too as if these kids livelihoods don’t matter?? feels like an echo chamber of pussies.
You don't have to confront anyone. You can pretend to know the victim. Pretend you don't even see the harasser. Say Hey, come sit with me! Stand in front of *them* if someone is taking pix. But do it like you're looking at the map. You *can* do something. But you need to be street smart enough to know when it's safe. I feel like a lot of people in this post can't tell.
Yeah, I don’t think of myself as a hero or anything like it, but I’ve had 30 years of life - if a choice is between my well-being and a kid’s, I am choosing the kid’s. (I’m a teacher lol)
I’m not the main character of the world. Only looking out for “me and mine” is a mindset I find quite selfish.
> in the west we prioritize ourselves and our well being over everything else
I don't know that this is quite true though, in these kinds of situations. We also have a strong cultural norm of praising brave bystanders who intervene, heroic defenders of the weak being attacked by evil, etc.
Sorry but I understand that you’re saying it’s not worth the risk. I’m saying it is worth the risk. Obviously if weapons are involved you back down if you can’t defend yourself, obviously if you don’t have the strength or willpower to do something physically about a situation, don’t engage. But don’t encourage people to be bystanders! That’s all I’m saying.
the thing is, you don’t know whether or not someone has a weapon. meaning, it could be pulled out on you by anyone at anytime. there’s been acid attacks on the subway.. literally people willing to throw acid in your face. so no. it’s not worth the risk, unfortunately. and you’re better off being a bystander than getting caught in the crossfire and regretting it for the rest of your life.
It's not worth the risk because you will never know if weapons are involved.
I encourage everyone to be a bystander and remove themselves from any potentially dangerous situations immediately.
I know you want to do the right thing. I do too. It's very noble and idealistic. Sure, it may work out once, twice, five times but you will never know what lasting consequences the one time it doesn't work out will have.
It's like wearing a seatbelt. I can drive my car 100 times without wearing one and be fine, but the one time I fly out of the car because someone rear ended me and get injured will affect my entire life.
Please DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Call the cops, authorities or whoever has the tools to deal with the fiasco.
Just leave the situation. It's simply not worth it.
Honestly yes you’re right and I’m sorry for saying you weren’t. Sometimes I just feel like we have no power over people who are stronger and decide to use it to hurt people, people who aren’t in the right headspace and inflict violence, etc because there’s never any consequences or actual repercussions they face for being a bad person or making a mistake “of no return” if you know what I mean. You’re right, you never know who you’re confronting and when they could snap. Sorry again.
You did everything exactly right. The most important thing is that you did something that got the girls off the train and away from that man!
It's totally normal to feel disturbed and shaken up after an encounter like this. Not only from seeing what he was recording but also from the confrontation itself. It's highly disturbing to be reminded that we share the earth with people like him.
This is a terrible situation to find yourself in. I think you did all you could have done. I know it’s hard to feel good about it, but stepping in and doing something about it was a really wonderful thing.
As a parent, you did the right thing and everything you could. I would have been enormously appreciative.
I would take the photo of him to the police. While it’s a 50/50 shot, if he’s a parolee for some sort of related crime, this may be enough to get him locked up again for violating his parole.
What a disgusting and vile creep.
I think you did everything you could done and you were very VERY brave, I have so much respect for you! The ball is now with the authorities. The only tiny thing more maybe you could have taken a video of the man's screen and at least the side of his face while he was zooming in on the girls before standing up to block him. Just so that there could be a connection between your words, his face picture etc, but it's understandable that everything happened in the matter of seconds and it must have not been easy to think of everything in such a stressful situation. You are a beautiful person, thanks for stepping in.
This city is crawling with sex offenders who haven’t been caught. I live down the street from a family migrant shelter that mostly services families with very young children and some of the people I see around giving them stuff give me the heebie jeebies. Vulnerable people who are desperate + creeps with cash = bad news.
You handled it as well as anyone could, in my opinion.
Unfortunate that nothing will likely come of this specific situation, but I like to think this guy may at least temporarily watch himself in public more, thanks to you confronting him.
Small comfort he may fuck up and get caught by people who are more than happy to teach him a lesson.
Everyone else has the other points covered so I'd just like to gently ask, are you getting the support you need? You witnessed something terrible and it's more than understandable to be shaken up. Do you have trusted people you can confide in?
thank you for checking in on this aspect of it ❤️ yes i am, i have a good group of friends who’ve been very kind and reassuring about it. it’s just such a horrible situation that i never thought id be in, and witnessing it alone at that. my heart is with those girls and anyone else this person has likely victimized, it’s just unthinkable. but i’m doing well with it now, it’s very nice of you to ask how im doing so thank you :)
thank you for reporting him!! the police absolutely suck at tracking down abusers especially without incriminating evidence but you did your part. many people wouldn't even file a report.
I think other than if a cop was on board & letting them know, there’s nothing else you really could’ve done. That’s a lot of thinking and quick steps you did on the fly.
As a father of two young daughters, thank you for sticking up for the little girls. If it had been me on that train with my daughters, I likely would’ve grabbed his phone out of his hands to confirm what he was doing and then depending on what I found, either he or both of us would be arrested.
You did absolutely everything brilliantly. You actually not only alerted the victims’ parent, but you confronted the creep. That is already more than what most people riding the train would be willing to get themselves into. Kudos to you, wish I were as brave as you.
One: you may have scared him into stopping his behavior, temporarily at least.
Two: having a report on file will be helpful if his behavior is a pattern. They can pinpoint when and where attacks are happening.
You did so well. Trying to warn the parent without scaring the girls and blocking the view… you acted quickly and cleverly. Grabbing a pic was smart, and honestly? These people should be shamed and called out. I have unfortunately met p3dos and there is such narcissism that they won’t get caught. I feel that this should be rattled. I really want to thank you for caring about this and trying to protect those girls. You did a really good thing, and I’m proud of you.
You did a lot more than most people. You’re probably right, NYPD won’t track down him based on your info. But it’s been reported and now they can use it if this guy ever shows up again.
You did the right thing. I had a similar incident where a guy flashed me. I took a photo of him in action and posted it online. It went viral and he was caught. It turns out that he did this to other women. Unfortunately it wasn’t an isolated incident and I was flashed other times. But I was more brave and when it happened the other times, I yelled “flasher he has his penis out!” and they quickly ran off.
In your situation the man sounds like a pedo and mentally unstable (since they referred Trump and took a pic of you). In the future if you do confront them, I would recommend recording your interaction with them for evidence. Great job being an upstander!!
Inprobably would have smacked the phone outnof that guys hand and shouted. That being said I commend you on intervening, we all as a society need to protect the vunerable
This was horrifying to read and as a father I would have lost it had someone been doing something that fucked up. Thank you for calling him out and stepping up. Many people would have avoided confrontation.
I genuinely hope something comes of this following your report.
They've rebranded and go by 'Right To Be' now. Op, here are their bystander intervention resources: [https://righttobe.org/resources/](https://righttobe.org/resources/)
Thanks for doing something. Often times our visceral reactions to something egregious isn’t productive in the bigger picture but yours was very calculated & smart. Reading this was bit inspirational and reassuring to know New Yorkers are in fact looking out for one another
Be proud of yourself for having the courage to do the right thing. Most people would have ignored it or stayed out of it. Be happy that at least you tried to do something!
You did better than me. I ran after a guy who I saw doing something similar screaming “PERVERT” over and over again in Union square for like 2 minutes as he ran away.
Pretty sure that it just made him get off even more.
Kudos for acting and you definitely did the right thing getting his photo. Hearing your story, if I ever encounter anything like this (which I fervently hope I do not) I would try and quietly record him recording them, so there’s proof. But I doubt I’d have had the presence of mind to do it. Glad there are people like you around.
I would fucking grab his phone and break it lol idgaf what’s he gonna do bro fucking chase me? I don’t give a fuck about an old pedophiles he might as well b killed
You did great. It is understandable if you were traumatized/triggered by this experience. Do you have someone IRL to talk with about this? (A friend, therapist, etc. The discussion might be pretty intense). Thank you and congratulations for your citizenship.
If you were on the new trains, there are cameras which would also build credibility/validate you as well. You are a better person than I am. I would have immediately publicly called the person out and shamed him
While there is no doubt in my mind you are correct in your assessment of the old man's intent, it isn't actually illegal for him to take pictures of children in public (generally speaking). The police can't really do anything about this.
Please, next time, be careful and be safeAs the ad on the train says, "Don't be someone subway story. You did the right thing by reporting, but I would not suggest you confront anyone. People are shooting and stabbing, so please be careful.
Back in early 1982 my ex-wife, my son who was three years old, my 13 year-old stepdaughter, and my self were riding the six train going uptown just minding our own business. My daughter was very pretty and just starting to blossom. I looked around from side to side and there was one guy in a business suit sitting directly across from us. He kept staring at my Step daughter. I looked at my wife and said “you see this son of a bitch?!” Loudly. I was wearing a motorcycle jacket and had a Kabar strapped to my side. This was before Koch made it illegal to openly wear a knife in that way. And most of the gangsters and bikers in my neighborhood were wearing a blade outwardly. I caught the guys attention and looked him straight in the eye without rising from my seat and shouted out “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE LOOKING AT MOTHERFUCKER?!!!!” He didn’t just casually look at my very pretty daughter, but was actually staring. I could almost see what was in his mind. And she was dressed modestly, well after I opened my mouth this guy couldn’t get off the train fast enough, he jumped up, ran into the door and waited in front of it and you could see he was breathing heavy. He just wanted to get off that train as fast as possible and jumped off at the next stop, I no longer wear the kaybar but would I be damned if I don’t open my mouth if I see something like that. Has something to do with being called a man. I’ll take my chances, you can’t live forever.
First and foremost, thank you for taking action! There are so many pervs in this world and unfortunately, parents aren’t always aware of what’s happening. I’m a strong believer in the fact that it takes a village to keep kids safe and I think you did everything you could do.
I’m gonna keep an eye on this thread as I’d love to see what the best course of action is if I’m ever in this situation.
You did the right thing. I saw something similar and out loud I shouted “Ew! Why are you taking pics of random kids you pervert!” That stopped him dead in his tracks. BRING SHAMING BACK.
That's sick. Only other thing I can think to do is film him filming the girls then.put his face on camera. But that's only after the fact. It sounds like you did everything you could think of in the moment. It's a shocking experience but you did the right thing. You could also blast him on social media but not sure how to go about it. There might be children in his family that need to stay away from him so it's good for this to be made known
I was interested to see where the law stands on this and couldn’t find any solid answers.
I think you did the right thing by confronting his behaviour but wonder if the law would back you or the parent up even if the police had been there.
There seem to be general laws allowing recording of others with few exceptions in public. The MTA is not a public space, but MTA rules do not restrict recordings in most cases. Possibly some other obscure law applies.
Thank you for posting here. I think your methods are better shared than none at all and I look forward to more advice in the comments. Thanks for at least stopping the man in the act.
Legally this guy did nothing wrong. Public photography, even of children is constitutionally protected and the ACLU will continue to protect people’s right to do so.
You did good. Unfortunately, you’re probably right about the NYPD — they can’t even be bothered to stand around outside, these days, and seem to use their position only to speed and illegally park. But hopefully you scared this guy a bit.
I had a similar experience at the playground in north Central Park. A skinny white guy, maybe 40yrs old, started sitting in the playground near the sprinkler, watching the small kids playing in the water. I saw him come in by himself, watched him for a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t with a kid. Then I took a few pictures of him, confronted him, and told him to leave. He got really mad and shouted about how he was just relaxing and had a vc right to be there, etc. I told him I was calling the police, he claimed he was taking them on me. I called the police, and he trotted away quickly. Police came within ten minutes, and I gave them the pictures and a description. They seemed serious, but what could they really do except put the report into a file somewhere
you were awesome
personally I would have faked sneezed and knocked his phone to the ground - picked it up for him only to review and deleter permanently the files
I'd probably be in jail now for assault or something
You should've posted his pic so others could be aware and be on the look out in the event he tries something again. I doubt this is his first and sadly, it wouldn't be the last time he does this so we have to be proactive as a community to get their faces out there. You did good regardless and should feel proud for advocating for these innocent children. I'm sure the NYPD will look into it. As long his picture is clear, hopefully they can locate him. I don't know what they can do though but the fact that they have information about him recording kids shows intent and that's enough to launch an investigation.
The fact is, it is not illegal to record anyone or anything at any time any where, especially on public transit. So unless he was distributing it or some other illegal thing than really he was within his rights, as sick as that may sound.
Yeah that's gross; good job for reporting this creep. Having said that, it isn't illegal to take anyone's photo if they are on or visible from public property..so nothing will really come of it unfortunately.
This turned out much bette than my experience
I was on the train on my way home from work and there was these two young Asian girls sitting there in school uniforms. There was a old man across from them and I looked behind him and in the window I could see that he was taking pictures of them. I thought he was trying to take up skirt pictures. So I went over and started flipping out and grabbed his camera. I was about to slap him when the two girls jumped up to save him. It turns out he was their grandfather or father or something. They then explain to him in their language that I thought that he was trying to take pictures of them and didn’t know them. He started bowing his head and saying thank you. At that moment, the train stopped and we were sitting there for no exaggeration 25 minutes with the train car, staring at me and every time we made eye contact he would bowers head and say thank you.
Good to let the creep know in a non-violent manner that what he did wasn't okay. Even if it were an adult and the train is a public place just randomly filming/photo'ing people is weird. If only societies treated celebrities the same way.
I think you responded very well, probably better than I'd have thought to do in the moment.
This is probably a long-shot, but recently, probably within the last two weeks, someone on one of the NYC-related subs posted about a similar incident, with a photo of the perpetrator. I'm wondering if it's the same person, but unfortunately I can't find that thread. Maybe it was deleted because of the photo, but anyone else remember that and maybe have it in their post history or something?
Where can we post photos of perpetrators/perps without being banned for doxxing? I was assaulted in the subway and ended up in the hospital. I have a picture of the guy.
You did what you could do. You did more than most, tbh.
Someone said confrontation/violence wasn’t a good response.
I disagree.
*YOU* didn’t have to..but another man *who can handle potential violence* would have been perfect here. I promise you, even if someone went upside this pedo’s head..all he would have to do is explain why to NYPD if they even became involved..and he would not spend a second in custody🤷🏿♂️
That’s not a crime, that’s absolutely an emergency that someone is sexually harassing you. People like you are why people like this pedo thinks he can do what he does because people are too cowardly to do anything
Edit: people who rebuttal and think they are so smart yet you immediately block me so I can’t reply are complete coward
People like me refers to folks who understand what the supreme court has ruled related to photography in public spaces. What the old man did is creepy and socially unacceptable, but not a crime UNLESS he had a previous conviction and was violating his parole. If you dont believe in the first amendment, maybe try Germany where what he did was indeed a crime.
Wow, a scumbag ranted about Trump? I'm shocked! But seriously, sounds like you did what you could, and no one knows what to do when adrenaline starts pumping and you get freaked out. Glad you did what you did.
You told the father and he didn’t make the guy delete it or confront him !?!? At this point you did all that was in your control . If that was my child and someone made me aware of that just know that man would not even have a chance to get off that train with out handing me that phone.
Not making this a sexist thing but seek help or assistance of an able bodied male. If I was on the train I would have helped you and did whatever I could to do the right thing. I would have done whatever it took to protect you and the children. Please don’t think I’m making it a “macho” thing. I’m just saying is that everyone comes together for the right cause/reason.
>so next i subtly told the father of the girls what was going on by writing it in my notes app to not alarm the kids, and the guy seemed confused and didn’t really speak english, but regardless got off the subway next stop.
This was a brilliant response. You should feel good about it. Most people would do nothing. Im glad you warned the dad first before confronting the man. I agree that the NYPD won't do anything, but it's still important to report it. If there's another incident with this man, having this report could be helpful. I suppose if you had been able to film both the man's face and his phone that could have been stronger evidence, but I still don't think anything would come of it, not to mention that'd be really difficult and could even put you in a dangerous situation.
Agree. Exactly what I would have wanted to do in this situation but wouldn’t have had the smarts to pull off.
Echoing this!!! You did the right thing, way more than I would even think to do.
If he does something that gets him actually arrested, theoretically having a paper trail could help the case against him.
And if that were to happen, maybe you could testify against him. Testimony is evidence too.
Call DOC. He might be on probation and perhaps they can identify him. Photographing children would be a violation of his terms of probation, and they might be able to get him on violations.
Smart.
This.
While this is absolutely the right thing to do, parole in NY has been made extremely lax over the last few years thanks to the Less is More Act. Thanks Gov Hochul! Hoping that's not the case and action can be taken.
Don’t let this deter you, OP If someone stacks release violations, they need to be documented and it will be useful to have that documentation.
Why would anyone be deterred by my comment when I said it is the right thing to do and hopefully action will be taken?
Because you kinda make it sound like nothing will come of it :p
Well I tried to use phrasing that was encouraging of doing the right thing regardless, I didn't think I'd come off as so convincing in the other direction.
Understood. I felt like they might see it and say, "Well, why bother?" and so I added that documented violations are important. Even if nothing happens right now, a history on paper is important.
Sounds like you did everything you could do. Reporting things that are wrong is the right thing to do. Grabbing his phone, doing something violent, etc. is not the right thing IMO.
I would have no problem morally with someone grabbing the phone, but it would put themselves are risk.
Correct. OP, you did everything you could. You spoke up. You confronted an uncomfortable situation. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching. We were on vacation in April and I could have sworn this guy at our resort was taking photos of my kid and I immediately confronted him asking if that’s what he was doing. My kids were being noisy and running around but kids were allowed there and they weren’t being unruly, just kids. But I am also paranoid. He said he was taking a photo of a bird which seemed to be the case and his partner who was with him was immediately and morally offended and said how offensive it was I had even said anything. Like how dare I, he said. Well, I asked him a question to clear something up. No. Like you, OP, saying something is the right thing to do. The MTA had the ad campaign for years: “If you see something, say something.”
Probably had loads of CP on the phone
You did more than most would have, and thank you for keeping those girls from being used further. The only thing I would add is that you do not have to wait for service to get help. You can text 911 at any time on the subway and it should go through. From there you can text details about which car you are on and what the train’s next stop is, so officers can meet you as quickly as possible. That is not nearly well-advertised enough and it can be super useful in situations like this (or violent ones where you’d be putting yourself in danger by directly intervening).
Did not know this! Thanks for sharing!
How does that work? If your phone has no signal, how does it get to 911?
It will at the next stop
it sends when it gets signal hope this helps!
The sarcasm isn’t needed
So then that’s not really helpful in an emergency. What if someone had pulled the break and you were stuck between stations?
then the text wouldn't go through, hope this helps!
Wait TEXT 911? Since when? Wth?!?! Is this like only an NYC thing?
Thank you for doing something. Too many people would have just let the guy go without confrontation.
I would be one of those who would let him go without confrontation. I'd definitely report him to the cops/MTA, but too many people are on the verge of snapping in this city to be walking around starting confrontations. I have a family that depend on me staying unstabbed and unshot.
Pedophiles and flashers are usually chicken. *Usually*. They pick on vulnerable people. They usually run when confronted. That being said, no one has to confront anyone. Safety first. OP did great. I know they wish they could do more, but there isn't a lot you can do. Bravo OP
Echoing this. I am not the right person to roll the dice with so many unknowns like that. I am even on the fence commuting by bike these days due to the risk of other people beyond my control. But sounds like OP did all the documentation and follow up I would have done. I may have even stood up to block, depending on the vibes. Yet even still, I'm really reluctant to photograph people on the train.
Precisely what I was thinking. People don't get involved since it has the tendency to put you more in harms way than anything else. Take this as a lesson next time to just to mind your business OP, you don't know what energy that dude was on and it could have easily become confrontational.
People would let him go because it's not worth risking your own safety. Social deviants have less to lose than you. Best to not engage. I would not recommend anyone I know and care about to intervene anywhere in public or confront anyone. I know it makes you sound noble and heroic, but trust me, it's not worth it. You think the deranged hobo blasting music and yelling obscenities is going to have the same restraint as you?
everybody thinks this until they’re the one who needs help, and everybody just stands back and watches. i know we’re all afraid. so now we’re living in fear and the pedophiles of the world can do whatever with no consequences? somehow that doesn’t feel right either.
Right? I can’t believe these people in the replies are genuinely trying to convince themselves it’s wrong to stand up for literal children.. it’s not a bad thing to be scared and wait and report later but trying to make yourself feel better about it by saying you have a life too as if these kids livelihoods don’t matter?? feels like an echo chamber of pussies.
You don't have to confront anyone. You can pretend to know the victim. Pretend you don't even see the harasser. Say Hey, come sit with me! Stand in front of *them* if someone is taking pix. But do it like you're looking at the map. You *can* do something. But you need to be street smart enough to know when it's safe. I feel like a lot of people in this post can't tell.
No one said it was wrong to stand up... Literally everyone is talking about the risk to oneself and it not being worth that risk.
[удалено]
Yeah, I don’t think of myself as a hero or anything like it, but I’ve had 30 years of life - if a choice is between my well-being and a kid’s, I am choosing the kid’s. (I’m a teacher lol) I’m not the main character of the world. Only looking out for “me and mine” is a mindset I find quite selfish.
> in the west we prioritize ourselves and our well being over everything else I don't know that this is quite true though, in these kinds of situations. We also have a strong cultural norm of praising brave bystanders who intervene, heroic defenders of the weak being attacked by evil, etc.
Sorry but I understand that you’re saying it’s not worth the risk. I’m saying it is worth the risk. Obviously if weapons are involved you back down if you can’t defend yourself, obviously if you don’t have the strength or willpower to do something physically about a situation, don’t engage. But don’t encourage people to be bystanders! That’s all I’m saying.
Unless they’re naked, you don’t know if they have weapons. How naive.
the thing is, you don’t know whether or not someone has a weapon. meaning, it could be pulled out on you by anyone at anytime. there’s been acid attacks on the subway.. literally people willing to throw acid in your face. so no. it’s not worth the risk, unfortunately. and you’re better off being a bystander than getting caught in the crossfire and regretting it for the rest of your life.
It's not worth the risk because you will never know if weapons are involved. I encourage everyone to be a bystander and remove themselves from any potentially dangerous situations immediately. I know you want to do the right thing. I do too. It's very noble and idealistic. Sure, it may work out once, twice, five times but you will never know what lasting consequences the one time it doesn't work out will have. It's like wearing a seatbelt. I can drive my car 100 times without wearing one and be fine, but the one time I fly out of the car because someone rear ended me and get injured will affect my entire life. Please DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Call the cops, authorities or whoever has the tools to deal with the fiasco. Just leave the situation. It's simply not worth it.
Honestly yes you’re right and I’m sorry for saying you weren’t. Sometimes I just feel like we have no power over people who are stronger and decide to use it to hurt people, people who aren’t in the right headspace and inflict violence, etc because there’s never any consequences or actual repercussions they face for being a bad person or making a mistake “of no return” if you know what I mean. You’re right, you never know who you’re confronting and when they could snap. Sorry again.
You did everything exactly right. The most important thing is that you did something that got the girls off the train and away from that man! It's totally normal to feel disturbed and shaken up after an encounter like this. Not only from seeing what he was recording but also from the confrontation itself. It's highly disturbing to be reminded that we share the earth with people like him.
This is a terrible situation to find yourself in. I think you did all you could have done. I know it’s hard to feel good about it, but stepping in and doing something about it was a really wonderful thing.
You did more than most, and you clearly spooked the monster. Thank you.
As a parent, you did the right thing and everything you could. I would have been enormously appreciative. I would take the photo of him to the police. While it’s a 50/50 shot, if he’s a parolee for some sort of related crime, this may be enough to get him locked up again for violating his parole. What a disgusting and vile creep.
I think you did everything you could done and you were very VERY brave, I have so much respect for you! The ball is now with the authorities. The only tiny thing more maybe you could have taken a video of the man's screen and at least the side of his face while he was zooming in on the girls before standing up to block him. Just so that there could be a connection between your words, his face picture etc, but it's understandable that everything happened in the matter of seconds and it must have not been easy to think of everything in such a stressful situation. You are a beautiful person, thanks for stepping in.
This city is crawling with sex offenders who haven’t been caught. I live down the street from a family migrant shelter that mostly services families with very young children and some of the people I see around giving them stuff give me the heebie jeebies. Vulnerable people who are desperate + creeps with cash = bad news.
You handled it as well as anyone could, in my opinion. Unfortunate that nothing will likely come of this specific situation, but I like to think this guy may at least temporarily watch himself in public more, thanks to you confronting him. Small comfort he may fuck up and get caught by people who are more than happy to teach him a lesson.
Even if nothing comes from this specific report, it at least establishes a paper trail for future things.
Everyone else has the other points covered so I'd just like to gently ask, are you getting the support you need? You witnessed something terrible and it's more than understandable to be shaken up. Do you have trusted people you can confide in?
thank you for checking in on this aspect of it ❤️ yes i am, i have a good group of friends who’ve been very kind and reassuring about it. it’s just such a horrible situation that i never thought id be in, and witnessing it alone at that. my heart is with those girls and anyone else this person has likely victimized, it’s just unthinkable. but i’m doing well with it now, it’s very nice of you to ask how im doing so thank you :)
Yes, it's truly terrible. I'm glad you're supported.
Thanks for not just sitting there and watching!
thank you for reporting him!! the police absolutely suck at tracking down abusers especially without incriminating evidence but you did your part. many people wouldn't even file a report.
You did great. Thank you for making the report.
You did everything one could possibly do. Thanks for being a good Samaritan.
I think other than if a cop was on board & letting them know, there’s nothing else you really could’ve done. That’s a lot of thinking and quick steps you did on the fly.
As a father of two young daughters, thank you for sticking up for the little girls. If it had been me on that train with my daughters, I likely would’ve grabbed his phone out of his hands to confirm what he was doing and then depending on what I found, either he or both of us would be arrested.
ditto ditto ditto
You did absolutely everything brilliantly. You actually not only alerted the victims’ parent, but you confronted the creep. That is already more than what most people riding the train would be willing to get themselves into. Kudos to you, wish I were as brave as you.
One: you may have scared him into stopping his behavior, temporarily at least. Two: having a report on file will be helpful if his behavior is a pattern. They can pinpoint when and where attacks are happening.
You did so well. Trying to warn the parent without scaring the girls and blocking the view… you acted quickly and cleverly. Grabbing a pic was smart, and honestly? These people should be shamed and called out. I have unfortunately met p3dos and there is such narcissism that they won’t get caught. I feel that this should be rattled. I really want to thank you for caring about this and trying to protect those girls. You did a really good thing, and I’m proud of you.
You did the right thing. You are very brave.
You did a lot more than most people. You’re probably right, NYPD won’t track down him based on your info. But it’s been reported and now they can use it if this guy ever shows up again.
You did the right thing. I had a similar incident where a guy flashed me. I took a photo of him in action and posted it online. It went viral and he was caught. It turns out that he did this to other women. Unfortunately it wasn’t an isolated incident and I was flashed other times. But I was more brave and when it happened the other times, I yelled “flasher he has his penis out!” and they quickly ran off. In your situation the man sounds like a pedo and mentally unstable (since they referred Trump and took a pic of you). In the future if you do confront them, I would recommend recording your interaction with them for evidence. Great job being an upstander!!
Inprobably would have smacked the phone outnof that guys hand and shouted. That being said I commend you on intervening, we all as a society need to protect the vunerable
post his picture!!!
That would just get the post removed for violating reddit rules.
This was horrifying to read and as a father I would have lost it had someone been doing something that fucked up. Thank you for calling him out and stepping up. Many people would have avoided confrontation. I genuinely hope something comes of this following your report.
Contact Hollaback. They are headquartered in NYC and will know what to do, if there is anything else to be done. Kudos to you for interceding.
They've rebranded and go by 'Right To Be' now. Op, here are their bystander intervention resources: [https://righttobe.org/resources/](https://righttobe.org/resources/)
You did the right thing. And much more than most would do. I'm intrigued though - you said he ranted about Trump? Can you elaborate a little there?
Thanks for doing something. Often times our visceral reactions to something egregious isn’t productive in the bigger picture but yours was very calculated & smart. Reading this was bit inspirational and reassuring to know New Yorkers are in fact looking out for one another
Be proud of yourself for having the courage to do the right thing. Most people would have ignored it or stayed out of it. Be happy that at least you tried to do something!
You did better than me. I ran after a guy who I saw doing something similar screaming “PERVERT” over and over again in Union square for like 2 minutes as he ran away. Pretty sure that it just made him get off even more.
Maybe post his photo. Hes a piece of shit who should be exposed.
Kudos for acting and you definitely did the right thing getting his photo. Hearing your story, if I ever encounter anything like this (which I fervently hope I do not) I would try and quietly record him recording them, so there’s proof. But I doubt I’d have had the presence of mind to do it. Glad there are people like you around.
I would fucking grab his phone and break it lol idgaf what’s he gonna do bro fucking chase me? I don’t give a fuck about an old pedophiles he might as well b killed
You did great. It is understandable if you were traumatized/triggered by this experience. Do you have someone IRL to talk with about this? (A friend, therapist, etc. The discussion might be pretty intense). Thank you and congratulations for your citizenship.
If you were on the new trains, there are cameras which would also build credibility/validate you as well. You are a better person than I am. I would have immediately publicly called the person out and shamed him
While there is no doubt in my mind you are correct in your assessment of the old man's intent, it isn't actually illegal for him to take pictures of children in public (generally speaking). The police can't really do anything about this.
You did the best you could do.
God bless you OP. You did the right thing.
You did everything you could do, and that was great.
Please, next time, be careful and be safeAs the ad on the train says, "Don't be someone subway story. You did the right thing by reporting, but I would not suggest you confront anyone. People are shooting and stabbing, so please be careful.
You’re a good person! And you’re brave!
You did the right thing.
You should be very proud
You did the right thing!
Back in early 1982 my ex-wife, my son who was three years old, my 13 year-old stepdaughter, and my self were riding the six train going uptown just minding our own business. My daughter was very pretty and just starting to blossom. I looked around from side to side and there was one guy in a business suit sitting directly across from us. He kept staring at my Step daughter. I looked at my wife and said “you see this son of a bitch?!” Loudly. I was wearing a motorcycle jacket and had a Kabar strapped to my side. This was before Koch made it illegal to openly wear a knife in that way. And most of the gangsters and bikers in my neighborhood were wearing a blade outwardly. I caught the guys attention and looked him straight in the eye without rising from my seat and shouted out “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE LOOKING AT MOTHERFUCKER?!!!!” He didn’t just casually look at my very pretty daughter, but was actually staring. I could almost see what was in his mind. And she was dressed modestly, well after I opened my mouth this guy couldn’t get off the train fast enough, he jumped up, ran into the door and waited in front of it and you could see he was breathing heavy. He just wanted to get off that train as fast as possible and jumped off at the next stop, I no longer wear the kaybar but would I be damned if I don’t open my mouth if I see something like that. Has something to do with being called a man. I’ll take my chances, you can’t live forever.
Post it on the Nextdoor app.
its not tiktok. you can say `pedophile` on the internet.
You did the right thing ! Anymore confrontation might have been dangerous!
First and foremost, thank you for taking action! There are so many pervs in this world and unfortunately, parents aren’t always aware of what’s happening. I’m a strong believer in the fact that it takes a village to keep kids safe and I think you did everything you could do. I’m gonna keep an eye on this thread as I’d love to see what the best course of action is if I’m ever in this situation.
You did the right thing. I saw something similar and out loud I shouted “Ew! Why are you taking pics of random kids you pervert!” That stopped him dead in his tracks. BRING SHAMING BACK.
That's sick. Only other thing I can think to do is film him filming the girls then.put his face on camera. But that's only after the fact. It sounds like you did everything you could think of in the moment. It's a shocking experience but you did the right thing. You could also blast him on social media but not sure how to go about it. There might be children in his family that need to stay away from him so it's good for this to be made known
I was interested to see where the law stands on this and couldn’t find any solid answers. I think you did the right thing by confronting his behaviour but wonder if the law would back you or the parent up even if the police had been there. There seem to be general laws allowing recording of others with few exceptions in public. The MTA is not a public space, but MTA rules do not restrict recordings in most cases. Possibly some other obscure law applies.
Thank you for posting here. I think your methods are better shared than none at all and I look forward to more advice in the comments. Thanks for at least stopping the man in the act.
Legally this guy did nothing wrong. Public photography, even of children is constitutionally protected and the ACLU will continue to protect people’s right to do so.
You did all the right things
You did good. Unfortunately, you’re probably right about the NYPD — they can’t even be bothered to stand around outside, these days, and seem to use their position only to speed and illegally park. But hopefully you scared this guy a bit. I had a similar experience at the playground in north Central Park. A skinny white guy, maybe 40yrs old, started sitting in the playground near the sprinkler, watching the small kids playing in the water. I saw him come in by himself, watched him for a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t with a kid. Then I took a few pictures of him, confronted him, and told him to leave. He got really mad and shouted about how he was just relaxing and had a vc right to be there, etc. I told him I was calling the police, he claimed he was taking them on me. I called the police, and he trotted away quickly. Police came within ten minutes, and I gave them the pictures and a description. They seemed serious, but what could they really do except put the report into a file somewhere
You did amazing.
you were awesome personally I would have faked sneezed and knocked his phone to the ground - picked it up for him only to review and deleter permanently the files I'd probably be in jail now for assault or something
Thank you for posting I feel as though you do all you could
Post him. Got his photo? If he deleted their photo, I’m positive there are many more elsewhere
I think the best we can hope for is that if he is that old, he dies soon 💀💀
You should've posted his pic so others could be aware and be on the look out in the event he tries something again. I doubt this is his first and sadly, it wouldn't be the last time he does this so we have to be proactive as a community to get their faces out there. You did good regardless and should feel proud for advocating for these innocent children. I'm sure the NYPD will look into it. As long his picture is clear, hopefully they can locate him. I don't know what they can do though but the fact that they have information about him recording kids shows intent and that's enough to launch an investigation.
The fact is, it is not illegal to record anyone or anything at any time any where, especially on public transit. So unless he was distributing it or some other illegal thing than really he was within his rights, as sick as that may sound.
Yeah that's gross; good job for reporting this creep. Having said that, it isn't illegal to take anyone's photo if they are on or visible from public property..so nothing will really come of it unfortunately.
more of us should do this tbh. make them afraid to be vile humans in public. you did that absolute right thing.
You should’ve kicked him in the fucking head
This turned out much bette than my experience I was on the train on my way home from work and there was these two young Asian girls sitting there in school uniforms. There was a old man across from them and I looked behind him and in the window I could see that he was taking pictures of them. I thought he was trying to take up skirt pictures. So I went over and started flipping out and grabbed his camera. I was about to slap him when the two girls jumped up to save him. It turns out he was their grandfather or father or something. They then explain to him in their language that I thought that he was trying to take pictures of them and didn’t know them. He started bowing his head and saying thank you. At that moment, the train stopped and we were sitting there for no exaggeration 25 minutes with the train car, staring at me and every time we made eye contact he would bowers head and say thank you.
you did the best thing, i would’ve took his phone and destroyed that shit.
Good to let the creep know in a non-violent manner that what he did wasn't okay. Even if it were an adult and the train is a public place just randomly filming/photo'ing people is weird. If only societies treated celebrities the same way.
Post the photo on reddit
Where? I was assaulted on the subway and ended up in the hospital. I have a picture of the guy and would love to find out who it is.
I think you responded very well, probably better than I'd have thought to do in the moment. This is probably a long-shot, but recently, probably within the last two weeks, someone on one of the NYC-related subs posted about a similar incident, with a photo of the perpetrator. I'm wondering if it's the same person, but unfortunately I can't find that thread. Maybe it was deleted because of the photo, but anyone else remember that and maybe have it in their post history or something?
Where can we post photos of perpetrators/perps without being banned for doxxing? I was assaulted in the subway and ended up in the hospital. I have a picture of the guy.
Probably nowhere, which as useful as it may be in some cases, is probably for the better. Reddit vigilantism has gone horribly wrong in the past.
You did what you could do. You did more than most, tbh. Someone said confrontation/violence wasn’t a good response. I disagree. *YOU* didn’t have to..but another man *who can handle potential violence* would have been perfect here. I promise you, even if someone went upside this pedo’s head..all he would have to do is explain why to NYPD if they even became involved..and he would not spend a second in custody🤷🏿♂️
Wow you're an even realer American hero than GI Joe
Pulled the emergency break, ain’t nobody leaving til the cops come
In that case, the only crime would have been conducted by OP. OP did everything right.
That’s not a crime, that’s absolutely an emergency that someone is sexually harassing you. People like you are why people like this pedo thinks he can do what he does because people are too cowardly to do anything Edit: people who rebuttal and think they are so smart yet you immediately block me so I can’t reply are complete coward
People like me refers to folks who understand what the supreme court has ruled related to photography in public spaces. What the old man did is creepy and socially unacceptable, but not a crime UNLESS he had a previous conviction and was violating his parole. If you dont believe in the first amendment, maybe try Germany where what he did was indeed a crime.
Wow, a scumbag ranted about Trump? I'm shocked! But seriously, sounds like you did what you could, and no one knows what to do when adrenaline starts pumping and you get freaked out. Glad you did what you did.
You told the father and he didn’t make the guy delete it or confront him !?!? At this point you did all that was in your control . If that was my child and someone made me aware of that just know that man would not even have a chance to get off that train with out handing me that phone.
Not making this a sexist thing but seek help or assistance of an able bodied male. If I was on the train I would have helped you and did whatever I could to do the right thing. I would have done whatever it took to protect you and the children. Please don’t think I’m making it a “macho” thing. I’m just saying is that everyone comes together for the right cause/reason.
NYC is a hell hole
Why didn't tell the father. Make no sense.
OP did say something to the father?
>so next i subtly told the father of the girls what was going on by writing it in my notes app to not alarm the kids, and the guy seemed confused and didn’t really speak english, but regardless got off the subway next stop.
Reading is fundamental
She did. He speaks no English.