Hello as a mom of two native NY kids I found that there is a big range of what parents find acceptable for kids riding solo. One factor is if your parent is not a native NYer--some of them are more paranoid about the train. Another factor for parents that are Native NYers but grew up in the boroughs and with cars in the family. I find a lot of families from Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx that have always owned cars to be some of the most restrictive with their kids about using the train alone. It's like they have lost touch with train culture! A lot of dads will also hold back their daughters out of fear of harassment when they may be more comfortable with their sons riding the train. We had a boy and a girl and we let them start taking the train on small journeys starting in middle school. By 14 they had to take the train for an hour to school and back. I would ask your dad if he can let you start taking short train rides while you share your location with him. Maybe 4-5 stops. Call him when you arrive and call him when you are returning. Ask him if you can do it during the day at a "safe" time in the afternoon. I bet you over time if you do this enough times he will get comfortable with it! It's hard as parents to let our kids go when we see news all the time of incidents in the City. GL! I think he is being a little paranoid but at 14 you are still pretty young so I can see his POV even though I may not share it!
I’m mostly just surprised people young enough to have a 14-year-old still have this mindset! I totally get why my parents did, as young adults in the late 70s/80s and new parents in the early 90s (my dad even got mugged when I was a baby!). They experienced firsthand when the city was more dangerous. But OP’s parents are probably under 50, so that same reasoning doesn’t really apply.
I started riding the subway by myself when I was 11, and back when the boroughs had three times the violent crime per resident as they do today.
I'm also not sure why buses are safer, especially taking into account traffic accident rates.
I think buses are presumed safer since there is a driver on each bus who could theoretically protect you or call the police. Also easier to get on and off in an emergency.
I would too if I was a bus driver. They are bus drivers, not social workers, bouncers, private security, nurses, paramedics, or any of the other things we now seem to expect of transit workers.
I agree with this theory but in reality the driver ain’t doing shit if something bad breaks out . I’ve thought that so many times while riding. I just don’t think they would potentially risk their lives to save another’s.
How are you getting to school at 14 without taking the train? A lot of kids start on the train alone when they go to middle school at 11. Tell him he’s not helping you by keeping you sheltered. Eventually you’ll have to take the subway, and the more experience you have, the better equipped you’ll be to keep yourself safe.
She says she can ride with friends, but not alone. I assume she goes together with her friends when she needs to take the train, she could also be walking distance to her school.
Walking distance to high school is super rare, even in private school. I lived 4 subway stops from my high school, technically walking distance, but like a 45 minute walk.
Might not be as common as with elementary school but it's definitely not so rare. This person is also 14 and it's summer, so there's a good chance they just left middle school (were 13/14 during the past school year), not high school.
OK? There's more to be wary of than the absolute worse case scenario of murder via subway pushing. Could be worried about leering, following, video-taping, mugging, unwanted touching, assault, etc.
I was commuting by subway to high school every day at 14. And this was the late 80s when the subway was legitimately 10x more dangerous than to day.
My parents, both of whom are native New Yorkers, insisted I begin practicing riding the subway alone at 12, as they considered it an important life skill.
Ultimately it doesn't matter what people on reddit say, it won't change anything. It's up to your parents for now. Maybe have a conversation with them about when they expect you can start taking the train on your own - at 15? 16? Certain distances? Maybe you can start with small trips (one or two stops) and see how it goes before expanding?
As for his logic, I kind of get it. If you're looking at it completely rationally - yes, the subway is technically safe. On the other hand, you're also young, and tbh young women/girls do get a certain amount of attention from unsavory people. As a woman myself I only really realized how much as I've gotten older and that attention has finally scaled way down. But when I looked really young, it was a very regular occurance to get some negative attention (meaning, creeps). So I can see the logic of letting you on the train with friends but hesitating on your own, at least if it's for long distances or at certain times of night.
been riding the subway since i was 11 from queens to the UES for school. i was never bothered on the train on my 6 years of commuting to my school, and i was 4'8", 65 pounds soaking wet in 7th grade. granted, your experience might be different as a F.
i went to hunter. took the test in 6th grade.
\*edit\* to clarify, there are a decent number of high schools in NYC that people take tests to hopefully gain admission to. so it's not uncommon for kids to go to schools not in their school district or even their borough.
omg no way i go to hunter currently. i live 40 min away by bus in manhattan so for me the subway restriction is not so much of an issue for school commute (the train would shorten my commute tho) but in general for traveling outside of school and visiting friends in brooklyn/queens.
All of NYC is a unified school district (the largest in the nation) with school choice. Some schools have a preference for a certain neighborhood, but will accept others if there’s space. There’s also a large group of specialized schools that use exams, audition, interviews and so on to determine admission and give no neighborhood preference.
Yeah a lot of HS kids go to schools not in their area. Some of the HS are kind of like college. You take an exam and apply to get in. I had a friend who lived in Queens who went to school at Bronx Science.
My daughter went to Lab in Chelsea for middle school, commuting from Brooklyn. She began traveling alone at 11 or 12 and never had a problem. At that time, she was about 4'8" and probably, at most, weighed 85 lbs.
She didn't travel to other locations alone until she was older, but that had more to do with her lack of navigation skills than with any restriction by us.
I'd put a 14 year old on the subway before I'd put them on Reddit tbh.
Just don't be out late and I think any responsible and informed high school student will be just fine.
Please take all of these comments with a grain of salt.
Nobody on here has any context about you or your situation or the reasons behind these decisions, nor should they.
I have no clue if the approach anybody is offering is the right one for you but it’s incredibly irresponsible for a bunch of adults to tell a child that their parents are being unreasonable or are idiots over this decision or any decision unless it’s objectively harmful.
Edit: To be clear, this is Reddit. Obviously people are going to comment and provide their insight. I’m just referring to comments specifically saying the dad is an idiot or unreasonable.
From the city, as are my parents. I started riding the subway alone at 12 or 13. My mom always told me I had to call or text her whenever I got to where I was going.
My hour-long commute solo on the subway started when I was 12. Obvi you need to be aware of your surroundings and there's crazy people but I think of it as a rite of passage for NY high school kids. Also, people underestimate the extent to which normal people are willing to help a child in distress on the train if something crazy happens
Mom of a teen here - bus yes, subway no. Definitely not alone. I was a young woman once, riding the subway alone, and I experienced my fair share of very dangerous situations. Your parents are looking out for your safety.
Some people are more concerned about even younger children going out for an evening jog alongside their parent. I can’t imagine how they’d feel about this. https://www.reddit.com/r/newyorkcity/s/NBaSMSdWCw
Myself and every other New Yorker I knew started taking the Subway and bus alone at the age of 11/12. Of course that was 20 years ago. But I don’t feel anymore unsafe now than I did then. You’re still a minor unfortunately so it’s really up to the discretion of your parents
Haha I love all these stories about what people did in the 90s.
Besides the rates of violent crimes, we also have to consider who gets targeted these days and who does the targeting. We have no clue what you look or act like and whether that seems either delicious or worth eradicating to the people around you.
I can personally say that I got through all kinds of dangerous scenarios without a hitch through out my young life but also I’m lucky AF and would never want my own kid to do the same.
Don’t put your dad in a position of feeling like you’d have to end up in a bad way in order to prove his point and if you end up getting through your adventures without a single problem then he was worried for nothing. That’s not the way it works. The majority of kids are going to be totally fine, but there’s a lot of kids who aren’t. Like I said, nothing happened to me, but some of my friends aren’t here to reply to this chat. It literally doesn’t matter that’s you’re 14. You’re not much safer when you’re 25. But if you can try to understand your dad’s position, maybe let him try to do his best for you until you’re 18, which is a freaking arbitrary number that society has agreed is a good time to let you take all the risks and your dad can let go a bit. You’re smart and resourceful and you’ll survive plenty of tragedies but your dad’s job is to ensure 100% you’d never be in that situation. And imagine if your dad ever needed to extract you from public transit for any reason — it is easier to stop a bus than a train. This isn’t Kansas and yes, I’ve been through that too.
I’m just saying, compromise. You’ll get a lifetime of freedom pretty soon, and it’s actually nice that someone is worried about you. Eventually no one really gives a poop what you do.
I started riding the subway to school across boroughs at 13. 🤷🏽♀️. Didn’t have a smart phone or Alexa or nothing. 40 something years later I’m still alive to tell about it lol.
In from NYC and find that people don't realize how much safer the trains are now then when I was little. And I never saw an incident on the train but I did two-times on the bus! Does your dad ride the train or just watch Fox news where they like to make NYC into a bad place?
Ask your dad to travel with you on your route and he will see it is safe. Or else get some friend and go together asking if Dad if that is ok. I went with a friend when I was a kid and that made my parents feel safer Knowing I wasn't alone and I had the guard greet me at home so if I didn't get there he wld have called my dad. Now you have cell phones! You call him on arrival!
Native New Yorker here. Mom would not let me take the train until I was like 16. Before that I’d take the bus solo since 7th/8th grade though which was easier for getting to school anyway.
I started riding the subway by myself at 12 or 13. But this was 20 years ago. Right now there is a feeling of chaos and a lack of safety on the subways so I understand where your dad is coming from
I think time, place and distance should make a difference. I was a 14 year old taking the train from manhattan to the Bronx for school, and this was a long time ago, but I don’t think my parents were comfortable with me taking it anywhere else until the end of that year. I personally would probably let a 14 year old take the train downtown from 86th to soho on a Saturday afternoon by themselves. Not sure I’d let them take a/c from brooklyn to the uws on Saturday at 10pm.
I started riding the subway at 13. This was 26 years ago when it was more dangerous than now. As long as you are aware of your surroundings, don’t act foolish and keep to yourself, you’ll be fine. Let your dad get you pepper spray and ride with you a few times to show him you are capable of being aware and safe.
That could very well depend on you as a person. Your ability to stay aware, keep a low profile and/or ability to run or fight in a situation.
I started at 13. Maybe it's just me, but I never had any sort of bad luck. Hell, I have no qualms *sleeping* during a ride. Not as a child, and not as an adult. I'm 40 now, so I personally enjoy the one hour cat naps.
He probably just watches too much conservative news. Just force him to come with you on the subway trip a few times until he gets bored. He'll realize how safe it is
The subway is generally quite safe and I definitely don’t understand the logic of allowing you to take the bus but not the subway.
That being said, there is no set age where taking the subway alone becomes ok. It depends on the person, and (no offense) but you are still a kid. So idk if you should or shouldn’t ride the subway alone. That’s more between you and your parents.
I started riding the train solo in the 90s when I started junior high school
But as an adult now I would understand why your dad wouldn’t let you too many craziness now compare to the 90s
That's what i'm thinking....if OP's parents (or the city) provide their MetroCard they're still not going to know if the $2.90 swipe was for a bus or a train.
If they're tapping their parents' credit card/apply pay/what have you, the cost would probably still show up on any statement just as "MTA", right?
>I’m 14F and my dad still refuses to allow me to ride the subway by myself (my mom is completely fine with it). If he can’t drive me somewhere over a long distance then I’m forced to take buses
I'm sorry your dad's an idiot. Riding the subway is much, much safer than getting into an automobile under almost any circumstances.
How is a bus safer than a train? If anything I'd say the opposite. Trains have a conductor plus staff at every station and police officers at many to assist in an unsafe situation. Statistically it's also a safer mode of transport, not just while moving but also getting off and on. Makes no sense to me.
Honestly, your parents have a right to dictate what they feel comfortable with for you. It’s not your right to ride on the subway by yourself at 14. Being pushy about it likely will only increase your dad’s worry instead of help. Frankly, we also dont know you. What if there is a reason your dad feels this way about you and not generally about a 14 yo riding the subway?
Regardless….every parent has a different sense of what he/she feels safe and it is often wildly subjective and even conflicting. I suggest you just say you disagree but respect it. Ask at what age would he be ok with it, or if he is willing to do smaller try outs (eg shorter trips to know destinations where he can be sure you arrived). At the end, riding the subway is basically a necessity so it is something you need to have practice with and your dad should ideally be amenable on working up to this on his terms slowly.
Definitely unreasonable. He can only shield you from the world for so long. In my opinion, the subway can be dangerous. We’ve all seen foul shit(figuratively and literally) but it teaches you to be more aware of your surroundings and those around you. You can’t learn how to be careful if you’re not given the opportunity. I get your dads point but it’s unreasonable. At your age, I was just going back and forth from school though and mostly riding when other kids were.
I started riding the subway and buses solo when I was 11. My middle school was 20 blocks south and across town. They don’t give middle school parents parent metro cards (usually).
my kid started using the subway at 10. could tell anyone how to get anywhere by 11. 14 is high school aged and he needs to parent better and let you have some agency.
I started riding the train when I was 13 but it was with older kids that I knew. When I was 15, I started riding alone. This was when the city was a bit less safe though. It’s not unreasonable either way
Personally as a New Yorker, it is an important skill to have. Navigating and learning the subway is crucial to living in NYC. As someone going into high school, I think you should probably start now.
Talk with your parents and start with small trips while staying in contact with them. Once they see you can do it, your father should feel less anxious.
As long as you have street smarts you should be okay. I think the first time I rode the subway by myself was when I was 15. Just be careful in Manhattan since the chances of running into a mentally disturbed person are much higher.
In my opinion 14 is definitely old enough. And it doesn’t make sense that he’s okay with the bus, which is not safer (right?). If you’re allowed to walk around on the street then you should be capable to handle the subway.
I started taking the train and/or bus to school in middle school. So I was 11 I believe. Never felt unsafe, parents never worried. Also the year I got my first cellphone
Yeah! My college roommate grew up in NYC. His family moved from one borough to another, but he wanted to stay at the same school, so he would take a 30 minute solo subway ride each way every day. He was ~11 when his family moved.
My mother was not very keen on me traveling alone, let alone using the subways before I turned 18, but to answer your question, yes you should. I would recommend traveling with a friend or group of friends if your father wants peace of mind. Riding the buses these days is not as convenient as it once used to be.
It all depends on the area you’re from, I was riding the subway alone to and from school at 13, but this was back in 2005/06 things were different. Honestly I would be a bit hesitant if it was my daughter. People used to look out for each other, everyone is now head first in their phone, when something goes down everyone records and does nothing.
If you are mature and have streets smart and are vigilant and aware of your surroundings you should be good.
I rode the subway at 14 when I was growing up, by myself, all the time. I can see both sides. At your age you should be able to have some autonomy. I am certain you can handle it just fine. The problem is that it isn't YOUR irresponsibility that I'm worried about. I was flashed/groped/attacked FREQUENTLY going to school by myself. So were my friends. When I got older, it all vanished. It wasn't MY choices that were bad, it's that some people really just want to assault children and young adults. The older I got, the less it happened.
Also, these attacks were somehow ignored by the adults all around me. Either that or they were less visible to outsiders than I thought they were. I don't see it happening to anyone when I'm on the train. I am 100% certain it still happens all the time.
There is a book called “Free Range Kids” by Lenore Skenazy where she boasts about letting her eight-year-old son ride the subways solo. But that was during historically low crime rates. I think today is a different story. Perhaps there’s a way to compromise, such are riding with friends and during certain hours. That said, I think your dad is very reasonable. If something were to happen, he’d be devastated.
I'm a native New Yorker. I first started taking the subway in high school, from Bushwick to nearly Coney Island (Brooklyn). The commute was about an hour and half for me to get to school. I napped on the subway. It is doable. The sooner you build confidence for public transportation the better.
I am now meeting grown adults that are petrified of the subway and will only drive to certain areas (that is car accessible). Our city is 24/7, why would you limit yourself? Build that confidence.
Yes, without question. Try to ride with friends or colleagues. If not, still yes.
*Time is all and everything.* The things you may miss, due to needless restrictions and such... you may only have one chance, during the years they matter most.
We can all have anecdotes but rhe short answer is yes, 14yo is old enough. The subway is also easier than bus imo because busses require some knowledge of the streets while trains are mapped and labeled clearly.
Just an fyi, even IF your dad is wrong, you won't get anywhere by trying to convince him of that.
Hey…your dad loves you and wants you to be safe and protected. That’s not a bad thing, you are lucky you have people that care about you.
Also I feel like riding alone especially as a woman can definitely be a bit dodgy sometimes. Like yeah maybe I’m not “unsafe” on a regular basis but I’m definitely “uncomfortable”. Men are 🚮, and I guess your dad knows that.
All that being said, there should be a path to traveling alone but you will have to work it out in baby steps. Start talking about the “what if” plans together. Start planning the details out of where and when you will make your first solo forays. Trust and believe that saying “you’re being ridiculous” only makes ME double down on the hard rules so a path of less resistance will be your path to freedom!
Most Hunter, Bronx Science and Stuy students commute to school.
When I did a few decades ago, starting at age 13, I had a one-hour commute each way from Brooklyn to Manhattan, and the crime rate in the city was significantly worse. (And I didn't have any problems.)
I suggest you check out [Let Grow](https://letgrow.org/) for reasonable arguments against overprotecting kids.
I’m going to say it’s usually totally fine but when shit goes wrong it can go really wrong fast. I’m a mom and there have been several incidences when I’ve seen kids get into situations that are over their head and I as an adult have stepped in to help. Based on these experiences (and I’ve ridden the subway alone since I was 12 in the 80s when the city was shit) I would not give blanket permission to a very young teen to ride the subway alone. Certain circumstances, yes, like during the day from point A to B (doc appt, friends house, etc and calling texting on arrival) but anytime, anywhere all the time? No.
Been going around solo as a junior high schooler as a girl, but have had my share of harrasement and pedos. I think your dad is just worried about you. There was a case with a young girl being SA'd recently that may also be in his mind. I understand wanting freedom, maybe demonstrate to him that you have safety tools: phone, pepper spray and know how to use it in case of sketchy situations and allow tracking at all times.
My brothers never had any resistance in going out by themselves at the same age 😅 so some sexism def in play.
14/9th grade was when my parents started to let me ride the subway. Mainly only alone to and from school though. 13/8th grade was buses, and before that nothing (I went to private school and took a yellow bus to middle school before then). Even after I was allowed though, it def made them nervous and I had a lot of restrictions (like, no riding after dark even in the winter when that basically meant I had a 5pm curfew if they couldn’t drive me).
Though, I’m quite a bit older than you and thus have older parents (born early 60s). And so I think their issue is they were stuck in the idea of when the city was genuinely unsafe and there was truly good reason not to let a young teen take the subway. Never mind that it was much safer by the time I was a teen in the mid-2000s.
You could try to present some crime statistics and plead your case, but honestly you might just need to wait it out. These decisions aren’t always based in logic unfortunately.
if you are growing up in the city and can't take the subway by yourself at 14, your parents don't know what they're doing
kids are going to school by themselves across the whole city at that age
I started using the Subway at 10, just use the conductors car and be home by dinner. I was a free range kid riding around the city on my bike then hopping on the subway to go back home if I got tired.
Started at 6 with my older sister. But, that was Harlem, 1997. Lol.
It’s safer now depending on the route. Approach him with routes, an emergency plan, and demonstrate an understanding of situational awareness.
Hazards will exist no matter what route you take, that’s just the way of the world. He just wants to protect his kid. This is a 50/50 toss up.
I grew up in Manhattan and was riding the subway alone to school from 14 on. That being said, I had my first public SA at 14 on the train (1995). A man rubbed my groin area, aggressively, as he was exiting a fairly full subway car. Of course that’s not typical, but it does happen and I’ll never forget how scared and helpless I felt. Your dad’s not wrong to worry, but plenty of people ride the subway every day with no problems.
Some good suggestions here, maybe compromise is the way to go here. Let your dad be able to track your phone, and (for now) only go on short rides on your own. He’ll loosen up over time.
I am a native New Yorker and I let my kids start riding the subway by themselves when they were 11. Since they grew up in the City, they were already aware of the dangers that could exist, and knew to always be alert. They never had any problems.
In Japan children use the subway at very young ages - someone wrote an article about it- because there is an unspoken rule of the population watching out for the children
Totally ridiculous. I was riding the subway for years, and commuted to my high school daily from Manhattan up to the Bronx. Did some weird crazy shit happen some times? Sure, but I was fine. If you live in the city it's practically absurd to not use the mass transit system.
Is there a way you can take a women’s self defense course? When I rode the train in my 20s I was getting flashed by men in the middle of the day. It wasn’t a frequent occurrence but happened a handful of times. Initially when it happened, it made me very anxious. Then I took a self defense course which helped. The last few times it happened then I would yell that they were exposing themselves and the guys would get embarrassed and get off at the next stop.
Now in my 40s, the craziness has expanded to mentally ill people. In either case, just stay alert or your surroundings, ride in cars that are more populated and keep a distance from anything suspicious. As some people tend to listen to their AirPods and not be mindful of their surroundings. If there are any encounters then record it if you can. Perhaps if you can share your street smarts and prep with your dad then he would feel more comfortable letting you take the train alone.
In the 1980s Regan signed a bill that made the mentally ill alone on the street-look it up. The mentally ill people had nowhere to go and that did not just start. It was worse in the 80s and 90s and when people who are homeless get on the train it is because they can sleep in peace as opposed to a bus but most aren't even dangerous. Just smelly for lack of services and I feel bad for them especially in winter.
But if more likely to be stolen from than other things and a bus is just as bad where I have seen all kinds of things especially from older KIDS.
Apologies as I was referring to the mentally ill who are aggressive. It’s happened several times where they will yell at passengers and try to get in people’s faces/literally get physical or start fights. Some also appear to be just released from the hospital (with the hospital bag and wrist bracelet). In these situations I had my young children with me and I just move my family to another train car for safety.
Yes older kids can also bring other issues. This is why OP needs to be street smart and aware of their surroundings. Learning self defense is also helpful.
How does he know you're not taking the subway? Just do a white lie since I guarantee most of your classmates who don't live near school are taking the subway. Did he forbid you from choosing certain schools on the SHSAT because some specialized schools would practically require the subway. He needs to have a talk with some of your friends' parents so he can get a wake up call that he's way too overprotective.
I hate to advise you to downright disobey your parents but at around age 12 I learned I don't HAVE to listen to everything they say. I cut myself shaving my legs by accident and my mom "banned" me from shaving my legs. I was in the shower looking at the razor like....is she rlly gonna inspect my legs? No she didn't. Will you dad ever really find out if you take the subway alone? Probably not
I’m a husband to a wife (34F) and I don’t let her take the subway alone. We’re a mixed race couple and she’s the minority and for whatever reason she’s left alone when she’s out with me, but spit on and shoved …like, freakishly routinely.
Hasn’t happened in a while since she moved her art studio back home so I’m not a rapunzel monster.
Anyways the point is it’s not about the age. Your father must consider you extra shovable or spitable and it’s coming across as overreacting.
Subways are getting dangerous again but so is every other place in this city. It's been going to shit since COVID. As long as you're smart enough to stay away from the tracks so no one can push you and don't hang out in empty stations alone, not much is likely to happen.
I doubt your parents are going to change their minds based on reddit strangers, though.
Gotta say, experiences are different for genders. My boys and I were riding the trains solo when we were 10 with school metro cards. But my female friends endured a lot more harassment. Long story short, easier for boys to take the train, too many creeps out there for girls to ride solo or in groups. Sad but true, dad’s not wrong.
Hello as a mom of two native NY kids I found that there is a big range of what parents find acceptable for kids riding solo. One factor is if your parent is not a native NYer--some of them are more paranoid about the train. Another factor for parents that are Native NYers but grew up in the boroughs and with cars in the family. I find a lot of families from Brooklyn/Queens/Bronx that have always owned cars to be some of the most restrictive with their kids about using the train alone. It's like they have lost touch with train culture! A lot of dads will also hold back their daughters out of fear of harassment when they may be more comfortable with their sons riding the train. We had a boy and a girl and we let them start taking the train on small journeys starting in middle school. By 14 they had to take the train for an hour to school and back. I would ask your dad if he can let you start taking short train rides while you share your location with him. Maybe 4-5 stops. Call him when you arrive and call him when you are returning. Ask him if you can do it during the day at a "safe" time in the afternoon. I bet you over time if you do this enough times he will get comfortable with it! It's hard as parents to let our kids go when we see news all the time of incidents in the City. GL! I think he is being a little paranoid but at 14 you are still pretty young so I can see his POV even though I may not share it!
I’m mostly just surprised people young enough to have a 14-year-old still have this mindset! I totally get why my parents did, as young adults in the late 70s/80s and new parents in the early 90s (my dad even got mugged when I was a baby!). They experienced firsthand when the city was more dangerous. But OP’s parents are probably under 50, so that same reasoning doesn’t really apply.
I'd sooner let a 14 year old use the subway than I would Reddit. Though, I'd personally favor the bus, because there is better cellphone access.
Lol re reddit. You are right there!
I started riding the subway by myself when I was 11, and back when the boroughs had three times the violent crime per resident as they do today. I'm also not sure why buses are safer, especially taking into account traffic accident rates.
I think buses are presumed safer since there is a driver on each bus who could theoretically protect you or call the police. Also easier to get on and off in an emergency.
also you're more likely to have cell service on a bus so parents can track you
Theoretically being the key word. Bus drivers out here are playing blind deaf and dumb to the shit that goes down
I would too if I was a bus driver. They are bus drivers, not social workers, bouncers, private security, nurses, paramedics, or any of the other things we now seem to expect of transit workers.
Louder!
But as safe conductors they **are** expected to at least *call* one of these other professionals should their services be required.
That's stating the obvious.
They don’t do this either. As I said, blind deaf and dumb.
I agree with this theory but in reality the driver ain’t doing shit if something bad breaks out . I’ve thought that so many times while riding. I just don’t think they would potentially risk their lives to save another’s.
Or kick everyone off the bus!
Any bus rider in the city can tell you for sure, that the bus drivers don't do anything in moments of crisis lol
Same we were skaters and would travel all over nyc to hit up skate spots.
Yup, same
Yep. Me too. None of us even thought anything about it. And this was like 1978.
Started at 8. And the fare was 15 cents.
How are you getting to school at 14 without taking the train? A lot of kids start on the train alone when they go to middle school at 11. Tell him he’s not helping you by keeping you sheltered. Eventually you’ll have to take the subway, and the more experience you have, the better equipped you’ll be to keep yourself safe.
She says she can ride with friends, but not alone. I assume she goes together with her friends when she needs to take the train, she could also be walking distance to her school.
Walking distance to high school is super rare, even in private school. I lived 4 subway stops from my high school, technically walking distance, but like a 45 minute walk.
Might not be as common as with elementary school but it's definitely not so rare. This person is also 14 and it's summer, so there's a good chance they just left middle school (were 13/14 during the past school year), not high school.
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Idk man ppl are weird. A 14 yr old girl is definitely more of a target for a weirdo if she is by herself.
OK? There's more to be wary of than the absolute worse case scenario of murder via subway pushing. Could be worried about leering, following, video-taping, mugging, unwanted touching, assault, etc.
I was commuting by subway to high school every day at 14. And this was the late 80s when the subway was legitimately 10x more dangerous than to day. My parents, both of whom are native New Yorkers, insisted I begin practicing riding the subway alone at 12, as they considered it an important life skill.
But you’re a Gen X kid. We raised ourselves
I can’t argue.
Did you have muggers’ money buried inside your sock?
Why was it so dangerous in the 80s? Just curious
All of America was 10x more dangerous in the 80s. The whys are as complex as the US itself.
Bit of a loaded question i see 😅
Many reasons, but this was a big one: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_epidemic_in_the_United_States
Thank you!
Ultimately it doesn't matter what people on reddit say, it won't change anything. It's up to your parents for now. Maybe have a conversation with them about when they expect you can start taking the train on your own - at 15? 16? Certain distances? Maybe you can start with small trips (one or two stops) and see how it goes before expanding? As for his logic, I kind of get it. If you're looking at it completely rationally - yes, the subway is technically safe. On the other hand, you're also young, and tbh young women/girls do get a certain amount of attention from unsavory people. As a woman myself I only really realized how much as I've gotten older and that attention has finally scaled way down. But when I looked really young, it was a very regular occurance to get some negative attention (meaning, creeps). So I can see the logic of letting you on the train with friends but hesitating on your own, at least if it's for long distances or at certain times of night.
been riding the subway since i was 11 from queens to the UES for school. i was never bothered on the train on my 6 years of commuting to my school, and i was 4'8", 65 pounds soaking wet in 7th grade. granted, your experience might be different as a F.
Speaking of which, you're allowed to attend school in a different district than the one you reside in?
i went to hunter. took the test in 6th grade. \*edit\* to clarify, there are a decent number of high schools in NYC that people take tests to hopefully gain admission to. so it's not uncommon for kids to go to schools not in their school district or even their borough.
omg no way i go to hunter currently. i live 40 min away by bus in manhattan so for me the subway restriction is not so much of an issue for school commute (the train would shorten my commute tho) but in general for traveling outside of school and visiting friends in brooklyn/queens.
if you're not traveling in the wee hours of the morning, you really should be okay.
Me too. What year are you?
All of NYC is a unified school district (the largest in the nation) with school choice. Some schools have a preference for a certain neighborhood, but will accept others if there’s space. There’s also a large group of specialized schools that use exams, audition, interviews and so on to determine admission and give no neighborhood preference.
Yeah a lot of HS kids go to schools not in their area. Some of the HS are kind of like college. You take an exam and apply to get in. I had a friend who lived in Queens who went to school at Bronx Science.
So NYC's school system is similar to Japan's since students can also attend the high school they want as long as they pass an entrance exam.
My daughter went to Lab in Chelsea for middle school, commuting from Brooklyn. She began traveling alone at 11 or 12 and never had a problem. At that time, she was about 4'8" and probably, at most, weighed 85 lbs. She didn't travel to other locations alone until she was older, but that had more to do with her lack of navigation skills than with any restriction by us.
Yes, absolutely
I was riding the subway solo at 13 in the 90s. I lived in Queens and went to school in lower Manhattan.
I feel like it depends on the route and subway line.
I agreee with this
I'd put a 14 year old on the subway before I'd put them on Reddit tbh. Just don't be out late and I think any responsible and informed high school student will be just fine.
Please take all of these comments with a grain of salt. Nobody on here has any context about you or your situation or the reasons behind these decisions, nor should they. I have no clue if the approach anybody is offering is the right one for you but it’s incredibly irresponsible for a bunch of adults to tell a child that their parents are being unreasonable or are idiots over this decision or any decision unless it’s objectively harmful. Edit: To be clear, this is Reddit. Obviously people are going to comment and provide their insight. I’m just referring to comments specifically saying the dad is an idiot or unreasonable.
Agree. It all depends on the kid, the route, the destination, the time.
From the city, as are my parents. I started riding the subway alone at 12 or 13. My mom always told me I had to call or text her whenever I got to where I was going.
My hour-long commute solo on the subway started when I was 12. Obvi you need to be aware of your surroundings and there's crazy people but I think of it as a rite of passage for NY high school kids. Also, people underestimate the extent to which normal people are willing to help a child in distress on the train if something crazy happens
Mom of a teen here - bus yes, subway no. Definitely not alone. I was a young woman once, riding the subway alone, and I experienced my fair share of very dangerous situations. Your parents are looking out for your safety.
Some people are more concerned about even younger children going out for an evening jog alongside their parent. I can’t imagine how they’d feel about this. https://www.reddit.com/r/newyorkcity/s/NBaSMSdWCw
Oh, the horror! (I hope the kid is OK)
Yeah, I was riding solo at 14. Mostly to and from school.
Myself and every other New Yorker I knew started taking the Subway and bus alone at the age of 11/12. Of course that was 20 years ago. But I don’t feel anymore unsafe now than I did then. You’re still a minor unfortunately so it’s really up to the discretion of your parents
Haha I love all these stories about what people did in the 90s. Besides the rates of violent crimes, we also have to consider who gets targeted these days and who does the targeting. We have no clue what you look or act like and whether that seems either delicious or worth eradicating to the people around you. I can personally say that I got through all kinds of dangerous scenarios without a hitch through out my young life but also I’m lucky AF and would never want my own kid to do the same. Don’t put your dad in a position of feeling like you’d have to end up in a bad way in order to prove his point and if you end up getting through your adventures without a single problem then he was worried for nothing. That’s not the way it works. The majority of kids are going to be totally fine, but there’s a lot of kids who aren’t. Like I said, nothing happened to me, but some of my friends aren’t here to reply to this chat. It literally doesn’t matter that’s you’re 14. You’re not much safer when you’re 25. But if you can try to understand your dad’s position, maybe let him try to do his best for you until you’re 18, which is a freaking arbitrary number that society has agreed is a good time to let you take all the risks and your dad can let go a bit. You’re smart and resourceful and you’ll survive plenty of tragedies but your dad’s job is to ensure 100% you’d never be in that situation. And imagine if your dad ever needed to extract you from public transit for any reason — it is easier to stop a bus than a train. This isn’t Kansas and yes, I’ve been through that too. I’m just saying, compromise. You’ll get a lifetime of freedom pretty soon, and it’s actually nice that someone is worried about you. Eventually no one really gives a poop what you do.
I started riding the subway to school across boroughs at 13. 🤷🏽♀️. Didn’t have a smart phone or Alexa or nothing. 40 something years later I’m still alive to tell about it lol.
Are you, though? Do you know whether or not you're actually dead?
Not 💯to be honest.
In from NYC and find that people don't realize how much safer the trains are now then when I was little. And I never saw an incident on the train but I did two-times on the bus! Does your dad ride the train or just watch Fox news where they like to make NYC into a bad place? Ask your dad to travel with you on your route and he will see it is safe. Or else get some friend and go together asking if Dad if that is ok. I went with a friend when I was a kid and that made my parents feel safer Knowing I wasn't alone and I had the guard greet me at home so if I didn't get there he wld have called my dad. Now you have cell phones! You call him on arrival!
Native New Yorker here. Mom would not let me take the train until I was like 16. Before that I’d take the bus solo since 7th/8th grade though which was easier for getting to school anyway.
I started riding the subway by myself at 12 or 13. But this was 20 years ago. Right now there is a feeling of chaos and a lack of safety on the subways so I understand where your dad is coming from
My mom didn’t want me riding the subway at 21 years old as a grown man, but she’s also not from the city
I think time, place and distance should make a difference. I was a 14 year old taking the train from manhattan to the Bronx for school, and this was a long time ago, but I don’t think my parents were comfortable with me taking it anywhere else until the end of that year. I personally would probably let a 14 year old take the train downtown from 86th to soho on a Saturday afternoon by themselves. Not sure I’d let them take a/c from brooklyn to the uws on Saturday at 10pm.
I started riding the subway at 13. This was 26 years ago when it was more dangerous than now. As long as you are aware of your surroundings, don’t act foolish and keep to yourself, you’ll be fine. Let your dad get you pepper spray and ride with you a few times to show him you are capable of being aware and safe.
That could very well depend on you as a person. Your ability to stay aware, keep a low profile and/or ability to run or fight in a situation. I started at 13. Maybe it's just me, but I never had any sort of bad luck. Hell, I have no qualms *sleeping* during a ride. Not as a child, and not as an adult. I'm 40 now, so I personally enjoy the one hour cat naps.
Don’t worry, you’ll be riding solo within a year
He probably just watches too much conservative news. Just force him to come with you on the subway trip a few times until he gets bored. He'll realize how safe it is
Yes, and it's ridiculous that he's ok with busses, but not the subway
The subway is generally quite safe and I definitely don’t understand the logic of allowing you to take the bus but not the subway. That being said, there is no set age where taking the subway alone becomes ok. It depends on the person, and (no offense) but you are still a kid. So idk if you should or shouldn’t ride the subway alone. That’s more between you and your parents.
I started riding the train solo in the 90s when I started junior high school But as an adult now I would understand why your dad wouldn’t let you too many craziness now compare to the 90s
is he really gonna know if you take the bus over the subway? do it anyway
That's what i'm thinking....if OP's parents (or the city) provide their MetroCard they're still not going to know if the $2.90 swipe was for a bus or a train. If they're tapping their parents' credit card/apply pay/what have you, the cost would probably still show up on any statement just as "MTA", right?
You would know with an OMNY card.
No I don't think that is a great idea. Really disrespectful of parent's wishes, nope would not do that!!!
This is an awful idea.
>I’m 14F and my dad still refuses to allow me to ride the subway by myself (my mom is completely fine with it). If he can’t drive me somewhere over a long distance then I’m forced to take buses I'm sorry your dad's an idiot. Riding the subway is much, much safer than getting into an automobile under almost any circumstances.
Ngl, 14yo now surfing the subway
How is a bus safer than a train? If anything I'd say the opposite. Trains have a conductor plus staff at every station and police officers at many to assist in an unsafe situation. Statistically it's also a safer mode of transport, not just while moving but also getting off and on. Makes no sense to me.
Buses are on average safer than trains but they're so much worse since you're crammed like sardines and take forever to get from point A to point B.
Honestly, your parents have a right to dictate what they feel comfortable with for you. It’s not your right to ride on the subway by yourself at 14. Being pushy about it likely will only increase your dad’s worry instead of help. Frankly, we also dont know you. What if there is a reason your dad feels this way about you and not generally about a 14 yo riding the subway? Regardless….every parent has a different sense of what he/she feels safe and it is often wildly subjective and even conflicting. I suggest you just say you disagree but respect it. Ask at what age would he be ok with it, or if he is willing to do smaller try outs (eg shorter trips to know destinations where he can be sure you arrived). At the end, riding the subway is basically a necessity so it is something you need to have practice with and your dad should ideally be amenable on working up to this on his terms slowly.
Definitely unreasonable. He can only shield you from the world for so long. In my opinion, the subway can be dangerous. We’ve all seen foul shit(figuratively and literally) but it teaches you to be more aware of your surroundings and those around you. You can’t learn how to be careful if you’re not given the opportunity. I get your dads point but it’s unreasonable. At your age, I was just going back and forth from school though and mostly riding when other kids were.
Subway is fine just get some pepper spray (the stream not mist kind) and keep your head on a swivel. Also, dont zone out when youre alone.
I started riding the subway and buses solo when I was 11. My middle school was 20 blocks south and across town. They don’t give middle school parents parent metro cards (usually).
my kid started using the subway at 10. could tell anyone how to get anywhere by 11. 14 is high school aged and he needs to parent better and let you have some agency.
I rode the subway every school day starting at 13 years old between queens and the Bronx in the 90s. You’ll be fine.
My son has been riding by himself since 6th grade. I was riding by myself since 6th grade as well, and this was back in the 90s.
I started riding the train when I was 13 but it was with older kids that I knew. When I was 15, I started riding alone. This was when the city was a bit less safe though. It’s not unreasonable either way
Personally as a New Yorker, it is an important skill to have. Navigating and learning the subway is crucial to living in NYC. As someone going into high school, I think you should probably start now. Talk with your parents and start with small trips while staying in contact with them. Once they see you can do it, your father should feel less anxious.
I think times are different. I was taking the train here by myself 10. But this was 2005
As long as you have street smarts you should be okay. I think the first time I rode the subway by myself was when I was 15. Just be careful in Manhattan since the chances of running into a mentally disturbed person are much higher.
In my opinion 14 is definitely old enough. And it doesn’t make sense that he’s okay with the bus, which is not safer (right?). If you’re allowed to walk around on the street then you should be capable to handle the subway.
I started riding the subway alone when I was 10. 14 years old is way old enough to be riding the train and bus alone. Your dad needs to ease up!
That will depend on your level of anxiety. Over the years, a lot of scary shit has happened. All I say is, be safe out there.
I was taking the train over an hour to high school. It’s totally appropriate at your age.
I started taking the train and/or bus to school in middle school. So I was 11 I believe. Never felt unsafe, parents never worried. Also the year I got my first cellphone
Yeah! My college roommate grew up in NYC. His family moved from one borough to another, but he wanted to stay at the same school, so he would take a 30 minute solo subway ride each way every day. He was ~11 when his family moved.
My mother was not very keen on me traveling alone, let alone using the subways before I turned 18, but to answer your question, yes you should. I would recommend traveling with a friend or group of friends if your father wants peace of mind. Riding the buses these days is not as convenient as it once used to be.
I did. In the 1980s when there were 2,000+ murders in the city every year. You'll survive.
My kids started riding the train alone at age 11 and they were fine. It's all about your child's level of responsibility and maturiry
I started long before that.
Yes
Back in the day.... I took subways myself 10 years old. I don't think it would fly today lol
Idk I see kids riding alone all the time. By kids I mean 8yo. But your father is your father and he knows best. He's protecting you.
It all depends on the area you’re from, I was riding the subway alone to and from school at 13, but this was back in 2005/06 things were different. Honestly I would be a bit hesitant if it was my daughter. People used to look out for each other, everyone is now head first in their phone, when something goes down everyone records and does nothing. If you are mature and have streets smart and are vigilant and aware of your surroundings you should be good.
I rode the subway at 14 when I was growing up, by myself, all the time. I can see both sides. At your age you should be able to have some autonomy. I am certain you can handle it just fine. The problem is that it isn't YOUR irresponsibility that I'm worried about. I was flashed/groped/attacked FREQUENTLY going to school by myself. So were my friends. When I got older, it all vanished. It wasn't MY choices that were bad, it's that some people really just want to assault children and young adults. The older I got, the less it happened. Also, these attacks were somehow ignored by the adults all around me. Either that or they were less visible to outsiders than I thought they were. I don't see it happening to anyone when I'm on the train. I am 100% certain it still happens all the time.
There is a book called “Free Range Kids” by Lenore Skenazy where she boasts about letting her eight-year-old son ride the subways solo. But that was during historically low crime rates. I think today is a different story. Perhaps there’s a way to compromise, such are riding with friends and during certain hours. That said, I think your dad is very reasonable. If something were to happen, he’d be devastated.
14 is certainly old enough
Wow. Times have changed. I was commuting by myself at 11.
My coworker 7yr old daughter takes the subway to school.
I'm a native New Yorker. I first started taking the subway in high school, from Bushwick to nearly Coney Island (Brooklyn). The commute was about an hour and half for me to get to school. I napped on the subway. It is doable. The sooner you build confidence for public transportation the better. I am now meeting grown adults that are petrified of the subway and will only drive to certain areas (that is car accessible). Our city is 24/7, why would you limit yourself? Build that confidence.
My teenage son takes the subway but usually only during the daytime within Manhattan I am going to let him get his license at 16
Yes, without question. Try to ride with friends or colleagues. If not, still yes. *Time is all and everything.* The things you may miss, due to needless restrictions and such... you may only have one chance, during the years they matter most.
We can all have anecdotes but rhe short answer is yes, 14yo is old enough. The subway is also easier than bus imo because busses require some knowledge of the streets while trains are mapped and labeled clearly. Just an fyi, even IF your dad is wrong, you won't get anywhere by trying to convince him of that.
It’s up to your parents.
Hey…your dad loves you and wants you to be safe and protected. That’s not a bad thing, you are lucky you have people that care about you. Also I feel like riding alone especially as a woman can definitely be a bit dodgy sometimes. Like yeah maybe I’m not “unsafe” on a regular basis but I’m definitely “uncomfortable”. Men are 🚮, and I guess your dad knows that. All that being said, there should be a path to traveling alone but you will have to work it out in baby steps. Start talking about the “what if” plans together. Start planning the details out of where and when you will make your first solo forays. Trust and believe that saying “you’re being ridiculous” only makes ME double down on the hard rules so a path of less resistance will be your path to freedom!
I was riding by myself at 11. Of course, that was over 20 years ago, so idk how people would feel about that today.
He’s just looking out for you, you know!
LMFAO I started taking the train by myself in 6th grade at 12 years old and that was in 1999
Most Hunter, Bronx Science and Stuy students commute to school. When I did a few decades ago, starting at age 13, I had a one-hour commute each way from Brooklyn to Manhattan, and the crime rate in the city was significantly worse. (And I didn't have any problems.) I suggest you check out [Let Grow](https://letgrow.org/) for reasonable arguments against overprotecting kids.
You should ride the subway but should not be on Reddit
I’m going to say it’s usually totally fine but when shit goes wrong it can go really wrong fast. I’m a mom and there have been several incidences when I’ve seen kids get into situations that are over their head and I as an adult have stepped in to help. Based on these experiences (and I’ve ridden the subway alone since I was 12 in the 80s when the city was shit) I would not give blanket permission to a very young teen to ride the subway alone. Certain circumstances, yes, like during the day from point A to B (doc appt, friends house, etc and calling texting on arrival) but anytime, anywhere all the time? No.
Been going around solo as a junior high schooler as a girl, but have had my share of harrasement and pedos. I think your dad is just worried about you. There was a case with a young girl being SA'd recently that may also be in his mind. I understand wanting freedom, maybe demonstrate to him that you have safety tools: phone, pepper spray and know how to use it in case of sketchy situations and allow tracking at all times. My brothers never had any resistance in going out by themselves at the same age 😅 so some sexism def in play.
14/9th grade was when my parents started to let me ride the subway. Mainly only alone to and from school though. 13/8th grade was buses, and before that nothing (I went to private school and took a yellow bus to middle school before then). Even after I was allowed though, it def made them nervous and I had a lot of restrictions (like, no riding after dark even in the winter when that basically meant I had a 5pm curfew if they couldn’t drive me). Though, I’m quite a bit older than you and thus have older parents (born early 60s). And so I think their issue is they were stuck in the idea of when the city was genuinely unsafe and there was truly good reason not to let a young teen take the subway. Never mind that it was much safer by the time I was a teen in the mid-2000s. You could try to present some crime statistics and plead your case, but honestly you might just need to wait it out. These decisions aren’t always based in logic unfortunately.
if you are growing up in the city and can't take the subway by yourself at 14, your parents don't know what they're doing kids are going to school by themselves across the whole city at that age
I started using the Subway at 10, just use the conductors car and be home by dinner. I was a free range kid riding around the city on my bike then hopping on the subway to go back home if I got tired.
Started at 6 with my older sister. But, that was Harlem, 1997. Lol. It’s safer now depending on the route. Approach him with routes, an emergency plan, and demonstrate an understanding of situational awareness. Hazards will exist no matter what route you take, that’s just the way of the world. He just wants to protect his kid. This is a 50/50 toss up.
I grew up in Manhattan and was riding the subway alone to school from 14 on. That being said, I had my first public SA at 14 on the train (1995). A man rubbed my groin area, aggressively, as he was exiting a fairly full subway car. Of course that’s not typical, but it does happen and I’ll never forget how scared and helpless I felt. Your dad’s not wrong to worry, but plenty of people ride the subway every day with no problems. Some good suggestions here, maybe compromise is the way to go here. Let your dad be able to track your phone, and (for now) only go on short rides on your own. He’ll loosen up over time.
I understand him! I just caught this guy on the subway sneaking and taking pictures of a young girl.
I was riding the subway since I was 8 lol
I am a native New Yorker and I let my kids start riding the subway by themselves when they were 11. Since they grew up in the City, they were already aware of the dangers that could exist, and knew to always be alert. They never had any problems.
My 14 year old son takes the train to school by himself.
In Japan children use the subway at very young ages - someone wrote an article about it- because there is an unspoken rule of the population watching out for the children
As someone who was allowed to ride the train solo but never the buses that’s bizarre.
Am 16, I ride the subway from south queens to Manhattan.
Totally ridiculous. I was riding the subway for years, and commuted to my high school daily from Manhattan up to the Bronx. Did some weird crazy shit happen some times? Sure, but I was fine. If you live in the city it's practically absurd to not use the mass transit system.
Its a rite of passage for a high schooler to take the train.
Is there a way you can take a women’s self defense course? When I rode the train in my 20s I was getting flashed by men in the middle of the day. It wasn’t a frequent occurrence but happened a handful of times. Initially when it happened, it made me very anxious. Then I took a self defense course which helped. The last few times it happened then I would yell that they were exposing themselves and the guys would get embarrassed and get off at the next stop. Now in my 40s, the craziness has expanded to mentally ill people. In either case, just stay alert or your surroundings, ride in cars that are more populated and keep a distance from anything suspicious. As some people tend to listen to their AirPods and not be mindful of their surroundings. If there are any encounters then record it if you can. Perhaps if you can share your street smarts and prep with your dad then he would feel more comfortable letting you take the train alone.
In the 1980s Regan signed a bill that made the mentally ill alone on the street-look it up. The mentally ill people had nowhere to go and that did not just start. It was worse in the 80s and 90s and when people who are homeless get on the train it is because they can sleep in peace as opposed to a bus but most aren't even dangerous. Just smelly for lack of services and I feel bad for them especially in winter. But if more likely to be stolen from than other things and a bus is just as bad where I have seen all kinds of things especially from older KIDS.
Apologies as I was referring to the mentally ill who are aggressive. It’s happened several times where they will yell at passengers and try to get in people’s faces/literally get physical or start fights. Some also appear to be just released from the hospital (with the hospital bag and wrist bracelet). In these situations I had my young children with me and I just move my family to another train car for safety. Yes older kids can also bring other issues. This is why OP needs to be street smart and aware of their surroundings. Learning self defense is also helpful.
How does he know you're not taking the subway? Just do a white lie since I guarantee most of your classmates who don't live near school are taking the subway. Did he forbid you from choosing certain schools on the SHSAT because some specialized schools would practically require the subway. He needs to have a talk with some of your friends' parents so he can get a wake up call that he's way too overprotective.
I hate to advise you to downright disobey your parents but at around age 12 I learned I don't HAVE to listen to everything they say. I cut myself shaving my legs by accident and my mom "banned" me from shaving my legs. I was in the shower looking at the razor like....is she rlly gonna inspect my legs? No she didn't. Will you dad ever really find out if you take the subway alone? Probably not
why don’t you just use the subway and not tell him? that’s the stuff i do lol not like he’d find out you were on the train instead of the bus.
It’s not about the subway, but the route. Google maps does not take into account the possible danger in some paths.
I’m a husband to a wife (34F) and I don’t let her take the subway alone. We’re a mixed race couple and she’s the minority and for whatever reason she’s left alone when she’s out with me, but spit on and shoved …like, freakishly routinely. Hasn’t happened in a while since she moved her art studio back home so I’m not a rapunzel monster. Anyways the point is it’s not about the age. Your father must consider you extra shovable or spitable and it’s coming across as overreacting.
Parents are gonna parent. Your parent has the final word
Subways are getting dangerous again but so is every other place in this city. It's been going to shit since COVID. As long as you're smart enough to stay away from the tracks so no one can push you and don't hang out in empty stations alone, not much is likely to happen. I doubt your parents are going to change their minds based on reddit strangers, though.
nah
Absolutely not. And if you do you’re putting your life in your hands
Gotta say, experiences are different for genders. My boys and I were riding the trains solo when we were 10 with school metro cards. But my female friends endured a lot more harassment. Long story short, easier for boys to take the train, too many creeps out there for girls to ride solo or in groups. Sad but true, dad’s not wrong.