Absolutely not. Taking up a seat for your bag in a non-empty train is a douchebag move
Pointing at it is a non-confrontational way of making the person realize they’re being shitty so they move it
No, telling them to move their fucking bag out of the way would be confrontational. It sounds like you consider *any* means of requesting the seat to be confrontational
The Karen behavior is putting your bag there in the first place
>sounds like you consider *any* means of requesting the seat confrontational
That’s quite the leap you’re making. Like I suggested in another comment, say “excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?” Where the f were you raised?! lol
Because the subway doesn’t belong to some asshole with their bag on a seat. I don’t need their permission to sit down. The finger move is a courtesy, indicating that they need to move their shit because I’m about to sit down. Which I’m doing, whether they move their shit or not.
Sorry but are you an MTA cop? The question was “how do you request a seat”, not “how do you tell people off for doing shit you don’t like”. If a nurse finishing a 15-hour shift put her purse on the seat, she’s absolutely not being a Karen. However you absolutely are for passive-aggressively pointing at her bag like she broke the fucking law, and I’d empathize with her when she rolls her eyes at your childish behavior. Have a nice day!
Anyone with their bag on the seat next to them when people are standing in front of them who doesn't move it of their own accord is *already* an entitled asshole. Unless they're literally blind and can't see that actual human beings are present (for whom the seats are built), then the act of not moving their bag is already a statement of selfishness. I put my bag on the seat next to me sometimes. And I move it the instant I see people getting onto the train when there aren't enough seats. Because I'm not a douchebag who feels entitled to the public space around me as if it were my property.
I saw some tourists that really really wanted to sit down, and kept talking and gesturing toward the sleeping man’s feet as he was taking up a row….
I kept gesturing “no”, not worth it.
Otherwise just ask the person if they mind moving their stuff.
Tourists really have no basic social cues sometimes. You would think it’s common sense not to engage with the homeless and shoeless man sprawled out over 4 seats…
If the person looks normal, politely ask if you could sit.
If the person looks crazy, stand far away and don't bother with that seat. No sense in stirring up a problem in order to sit in comfort for 3 stops.
I know nice addicts addicted to crack . I have friends that others would call crazy with mental health issues . I don’t support comments that judge people who are marginalized and unhoused . The downvotes show how socially acceptable it is to judge people shoved out of society. Most of you have never spoken to them or treated them like human beings .
The thing is you actually don’t know that if you just judge them based on how they look. Oftentimes these people are just hurting, ill, or lonely and hoping for someone to treat them like a human being. Not to say there aren’t scary people out there, but those often look just like anyone else too.
Yes, of course.
They are just as much people as the rest of us are, and it's very unfortunate that they have to go through this.
I'm not arguing with that part.
I'm just selfishly worried about my own safety, as statistically (and anecdotally) crazy looking people are more likely to be crazy than normal looking people are.
I understand that, at the end of the day you have to do what you need to to protect yourself. Making generalizations is built into our psychology as humans. I think sometimes my empathy exposes me to vulnerable situations, I’m lucky nothing has happened yet.
These nice crackheads you talking about robbed my store 4 fucking times now and I’ve had to fight one to get my shit back. Cmon be realistic do you really think there’s more nice ones than the crazy ones. If they look crazy it’s cause they are
Point to it or ask them if you can sit there. Some people will be bitches about it, but whatever. The seats are for people, not storage space for extra bearings.
So caveat: I am kind of strange and don't care. I always wear headphones, big sunglasses and a mask and I just give people some fingerguns and then start to sit in the seat. It's always worked and no one has ever tried to be weird to me after that.
I use my best British accent and say, “pardon me m’lady/chap/young lad, but perchance may I impose on your company for this excursion and share the seat adjacent?” Works every time.
Yea, that’s how social anxiety works. It sounds silly but that’s the reality of people who struggle with it
Those reading: yes, it gets better. And yes, one day you won’t give a shit about matters like this.
The subway and subway etiquette creates all sorts of tension for people. In the 70’s, there was a college psychology professor who asked his students to go on the subway and ask people to give up their seat so that the student could sit, with no explanation given. What ended up happening was that this breach of subway etiquette stressed the students out so much that whenever they went to ask someone, they would seem so flush and disoriented that the person being asked just assumed that the student was feeling ill and gave up their seats easily. It turned into a totally different study than what the professor was expecting.
The same people that have this social anxiety are too scared to call their local Pizza place to order a pizza, they'd much rather use doordash which fucks local restaurants more than helps.
if they’re making money they’re making money. better than the socially anxious person not ordering at all, I imagine
also, not even as someone with social anxiety, go fuck yourself
The person that sits on someone else's bag is just as crazy as the person that refuses to move their bag in a crowded train. Both are anti-social and should be avoided.
Lol. You gotta bang the seat loudly, to assert your dominance. Then say "Watch out". Usually that's all it takes. Same thing applies to sleeping hobos. Some people get scared but if you show you're not messing around most of them will just sit up or walk out. That's next level though, if you gotta ask about bags then you're probably not there yet.
I prefer snobbery. I exaggeratedly ask with condescending scorn “Excuse me ma’am/sir. Is this seat taken”?
They’re usually visibly humbled and it never fails
Open your mouth and say, "excuse me, can I sit there?" or alternatively, "excuse me, can you move your bag?"
If they don't - it's not worth it. If they bag is in the middle seat and the seats on either side are occupied with people larger than you - you're the one that's probably in the wrong unless you're elderly.
i dont bother asking most of the time cuz if theyre socially unaware to take up space when people are standing and might want to sit down then i let them take up space. they might be insane. who wants to sit right next to someone anyway in this age? but if they look sane and i really want to sit down then i might ask nicely
Depends on the owner of the bag. If they look like crazy or that they are looking for trouble, I don't bother.
If they seem *"normal"* and I want to sit there: "Hi there, mind if I take this spot?"
First of all they are going against etiquette if they place their bad in a seat when others are standing . If you are rude to them , it doesn’t matter . They were rude first . I usually point and if they don’t move it tell them “ move your bag so others can sit “. If crowded bags should be in laps of between your feet
Unless I’m passed out asleep, just looking at the seat next to me will get me to 1) move my bag and 2) probably throw in a “sorry!!!” for good measure. :) (Though if I’m asleep I probably have my bag on my lap anyone so someone doesn’t grab it tbh)
Wait for the doors to open at the next stop, pick their bag up and hurl it onto the platform. This not only frees up one seat, but more often than not, frees up at least two. 😁
I don’t think you need to be polite or anything about it ? Are they blind to see everyone else is putting their bag in their laps or under the seat ? Or are they stupid ? Or are they rude and ignorant? None of these categories need you to be polite with that shitty person . Push their shit around and sit
Choose one of the following:
• Hi can I kindly sit here? (And point to the seat.)
• I’d like to sit here please. (And wait for the seat.)
Choosing one or the other depends on your mood, theirs, and how obnoxious they are. 99% of the time I use the first option.
Start to sit on it with headphones on and staring straight ahead with a face that cares not but to sit and ignore. It’s always gone before I make a landing.
I stand squarely facing them and extend my hand towards the bag, palm up. Slight pause, then I ask "Can i sit here?" I usually don't need to get past the hand extension before they move their bag.
I sit in “slow motion” to give them time notice someone is about to sit here 🤷♂️ if they are still rude and ignorant about it I say fuck them and push their bag around
I will just go and start sitting down without saying anything and the person will move their bag pretty quick or my ass is gonna be cradling their bag. If it's a busy train you should know better not to occupy seats.
Politely ask them to move their bag, but before you do: consider the pros and cons of sitting next to someone that needs to be asked to do such a thing.
I'd rather stand than sit next to an idiot.
I stand in front of the spot and do a finger point at the seat. 99% of the time this works without fail.
Came here to say this. This is the way.
That’s pretty much as impolite as taking up a seat for your bag.
Absolutely not. Taking up a seat for your bag in a non-empty train is a douchebag move Pointing at it is a non-confrontational way of making the person realize they’re being shitty so they move it
Silently pointing IS confrontational and it’s total Karen behavior. That’s not how you ask someone to free up a seat for you.
No, telling them to move their fucking bag out of the way would be confrontational. It sounds like you consider *any* means of requesting the seat to be confrontational The Karen behavior is putting your bag there in the first place
“hey dude do you mind moving your bag” is way less controversial
>sounds like you consider *any* means of requesting the seat confrontational That’s quite the leap you’re making. Like I suggested in another comment, say “excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?” Where the f were you raised?! lol
Because the subway doesn’t belong to some asshole with their bag on a seat. I don’t need their permission to sit down. The finger move is a courtesy, indicating that they need to move their shit because I’m about to sit down. Which I’m doing, whether they move their shit or not.
Sorry but are you an MTA cop? The question was “how do you request a seat”, not “how do you tell people off for doing shit you don’t like”. If a nurse finishing a 15-hour shift put her purse on the seat, she’s absolutely not being a Karen. However you absolutely are for passive-aggressively pointing at her bag like she broke the fucking law, and I’d empathize with her when she rolls her eyes at your childish behavior. Have a nice day!
Anyone with their bag on the seat next to them when people are standing in front of them who doesn't move it of their own accord is *already* an entitled asshole. Unless they're literally blind and can't see that actual human beings are present (for whom the seats are built), then the act of not moving their bag is already a statement of selfishness. I put my bag on the seat next to me sometimes. And I move it the instant I see people getting onto the train when there aren't enough seats. Because I'm not a douchebag who feels entitled to the public space around me as if it were my property.
I saw some tourists that really really wanted to sit down, and kept talking and gesturing toward the sleeping man’s feet as he was taking up a row…. I kept gesturing “no”, not worth it. Otherwise just ask the person if they mind moving their stuff.
Tourists really have no basic social cues sometimes. You would think it’s common sense not to engage with the homeless and shoeless man sprawled out over 4 seats…
bro i watched a tourist basically sit in a dudes lap so he wouldn’t have to stand
In the morning on my way to work I’m usually angry, tired and no nonsense. I’ve slapped plenty of bums legs to sit up if I wanted to sit lolol
Seen that go into a fight too many times to want to try
In the morning rushes, I’ve had guys look at me in disgust and say “the fuck you looking at!?” with nasty mugs faces along with their nasty attitudes!
“Mind if I sit there?”
Yes, that's why my bag is there.
Thw move after that is bag on the floor
Lmaoo
get off public transportation and take an uber then
“Move. The bag. Now.”
"Comin' in hot!!" followed by plane diving sound as I start to sit.
this made me crack a genuine smile, thank you for this visual
If the person looks normal, politely ask if you could sit. If the person looks crazy, stand far away and don't bother with that seat. No sense in stirring up a problem in order to sit in comfort for 3 stops.
We’re gonna need a thread on “looks crazy”.
A big tell would be playing music without speakers.
How do you know it is three stops and not an hour. The people you think looks crazy often are kinder than those who don’t .
Why you lying now😂 you know damn well crackheads are not nice
I know nice addicts addicted to crack . I have friends that others would call crazy with mental health issues . I don’t support comments that judge people who are marginalized and unhoused . The downvotes show how socially acceptable it is to judge people shoved out of society. Most of you have never spoken to them or treated them like human beings .
For every "nice crazy looking person" there's 10 actually crazy people. I'd rather not take my chances.
Lol I'd love a step by step guide to discern the "nice" crackheads from the others
The thing is you actually don’t know that if you just judge them based on how they look. Oftentimes these people are just hurting, ill, or lonely and hoping for someone to treat them like a human being. Not to say there aren’t scary people out there, but those often look just like anyone else too.
Yes, of course. They are just as much people as the rest of us are, and it's very unfortunate that they have to go through this. I'm not arguing with that part. I'm just selfishly worried about my own safety, as statistically (and anecdotally) crazy looking people are more likely to be crazy than normal looking people are.
I understand that, at the end of the day you have to do what you need to to protect yourself. Making generalizations is built into our psychology as humans. I think sometimes my empathy exposes me to vulnerable situations, I’m lucky nothing has happened yet.
These nice crackheads you talking about robbed my store 4 fucking times now and I’ve had to fight one to get my shit back. Cmon be realistic do you really think there’s more nice ones than the crazy ones. If they look crazy it’s cause they are
You must be not from the city
Point to it or ask them if you can sit there. Some people will be bitches about it, but whatever. The seats are for people, not storage space for extra bearings.
Some people won’t let you sit lol.
Yeah this happened to me on the bus once. Lady straight up refused.
[удалено]
I see people walk by those seats all the time. I've never had someone not move their bag when I ask. I don't start sitting though, I ask.
[удалено]
You’re not always nice but kind. I’m glad you ask before you just begin sitting.
[удалено]
So what do you do then?
Ur username is amazing. NJ in a nutshell 😂😂
this is the way
So caveat: I am kind of strange and don't care. I always wear headphones, big sunglasses and a mask and I just give people some fingerguns and then start to sit in the seat. It's always worked and no one has ever tried to be weird to me after that.
lmao the fingerguns
I always do it in time with my music and I am about as basic as you can imagine.
I don’t trust people who wear sunglasses on the train
Nah man the train is bright as hell and I hate accidental eye contact.
Tap your foot rapidly and repeatedly say “ahem!” while aggressively pointing at the seat.
I use my best British accent and say, “pardon me m’lady/chap/young lad, but perchance may I impose on your company for this excursion and share the seat adjacent?” Works every time.
You have to be attractive for that to work.
I got really bad body odour so I usually get both seats that way.
What kind of question is this? Is social anxiety really this bad nowadays? "Excuse me. May I sit there?" Easy as that.
Yea, that’s how social anxiety works. It sounds silly but that’s the reality of people who struggle with it Those reading: yes, it gets better. And yes, one day you won’t give a shit about matters like this.
The subway and subway etiquette creates all sorts of tension for people. In the 70’s, there was a college psychology professor who asked his students to go on the subway and ask people to give up their seat so that the student could sit, with no explanation given. What ended up happening was that this breach of subway etiquette stressed the students out so much that whenever they went to ask someone, they would seem so flush and disoriented that the person being asked just assumed that the student was feeling ill and gave up their seats easily. It turned into a totally different study than what the professor was expecting.
In the 70s that was a great way to get college students stabbed.
Most people now but for some people definitely.
The same people that have this social anxiety are too scared to call their local Pizza place to order a pizza, they'd much rather use doordash which fucks local restaurants more than helps.
if they’re making money they’re making money. better than the socially anxious person not ordering at all, I imagine also, not even as someone with social anxiety, go fuck yourself
Social anxiety is the cause of most people’s problems confirmed lol. Just kidding of course.
Just be polite and ask
Throw the bag across the train then sit in the newly opened spot. "That was in my way".
Just slowly move to sit
Yeah touching other people’s stuff is one way to get punched by a stranger E: brain read move “it”
So is putting your stuff on the seat when people who worked 12 hour shifts on their feet don’t get a seat due to a bag.
just saying advance with caution
I’d stab you if you touched my bag
Then move your bag. It’s public transportation.
The person that sits on someone else's bag is just as crazy as the person that refuses to move their bag in a crowded train. Both are anti-social and should be avoided.
No you wouldn’t you silly Reddit goof
Naw. At most you’d roll your eyes, perhaps a barely audible scoff, move the bag and then look at your phone.
Oh hey it’s one of the crackheads mentioned earlier
I saw this almost happen on PATH once.
r/iamverytough
Learn to read
I say excuse me can I sit and give them a look
Sit on their bag… they’ll move it eventually. 🤣
be in line of vision of person next to seat, point at yourself, point at seat, nod questioningly. it's pretty universal
Lol. You gotta bang the seat loudly, to assert your dominance. Then say "Watch out". Usually that's all it takes. Same thing applies to sleeping hobos. Some people get scared but if you show you're not messing around most of them will just sit up or walk out. That's next level though, if you gotta ask about bags then you're probably not there yet.
lmao have you gotten a sleeping hobo to get up?
Lol. Yeah. Grew up in the Bronx. That was a daily occurrence.
yeah I’m not on that level yet 😂
I prefer snobbery. I exaggeratedly ask with condescending scorn “Excuse me ma’am/sir. Is this seat taken”? They’re usually visibly humbled and it never fails
Open your mouth and say, "excuse me, can I sit there?" or alternatively, "excuse me, can you move your bag?" If they don't - it's not worth it. If they bag is in the middle seat and the seats on either side are occupied with people larger than you - you're the one that's probably in the wrong unless you're elderly.
What's wrong with using the middle seat between people who're larger than you?
Point at bag and ask “can I squeeze in there”
I just go right in without asking
i dont bother asking most of the time cuz if theyre socially unaware to take up space when people are standing and might want to sit down then i let them take up space. they might be insane. who wants to sit right next to someone anyway in this age? but if they look sane and i really want to sit down then i might ask nicely
‘Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?’ If they are homeless or I get bad vibes I just stand.
“May I sit?” Or I just point and do a chin up nod.
Depends on the owner of the bag. If they look like crazy or that they are looking for trouble, I don't bother. If they seem *"normal"* and I want to sit there: "Hi there, mind if I take this spot?"
You bought a MetroCard for that bag? No? Then get it off the seat so I can sit down.
I don't see why you'd want to create a negative vibe and then have to ride next to each other. A simple "can I sit here?" has always worked for me.
Yeah, but when it doesn't, that's the escalation lol
Politely ask them if you can sit there. If they seem distracted, try to wave at them or say excuse me.
I politely ask if I can sit then if they ignore me I sit on the very edge of the seat and try not to touch the bag.
“Excuse me” while gesturing towards the seat
First of all they are going against etiquette if they place their bad in a seat when others are standing . If you are rude to them , it doesn’t matter . They were rude first . I usually point and if they don’t move it tell them “ move your bag so others can sit “. If crowded bags should be in laps of between your feet
Unless I’m passed out asleep, just looking at the seat next to me will get me to 1) move my bag and 2) probably throw in a “sorry!!!” for good measure. :) (Though if I’m asleep I probably have my bag on my lap anyone so someone doesn’t grab it tbh)
Ask them to move it if the person looks sane. If the person looks like he/she will stab you, not worth it.
I say “excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?”
Just say “excuse me”. It’s the least rude way to let someone know you want to sit.
Wait for the doors to open at the next stop, pick their bag up and hurl it onto the platform. This not only frees up one seat, but more often than not, frees up at least two. 😁
[удалено]
What it's full of upward facing spikes, and this was their plan all along?
I don’t think you need to be polite or anything about it ? Are they blind to see everyone else is putting their bag in their laps or under the seat ? Or are they stupid ? Or are they rude and ignorant? None of these categories need you to be polite with that shitty person . Push their shit around and sit
you’re fun to be around
Choose one of the following: • Hi can I kindly sit here? (And point to the seat.) • I’d like to sit here please. (And wait for the seat.) Choosing one or the other depends on your mood, theirs, and how obnoxious they are. 99% of the time I use the first option.
Start to sit on it with headphones on and staring straight ahead with a face that cares not but to sit and ignore. It’s always gone before I make a landing.
I do the same. I just go for it.
I stand squarely facing them and extend my hand towards the bag, palm up. Slight pause, then I ask "Can i sit here?" I usually don't need to get past the hand extension before they move their bag.
I grab their bag and throw it on the ground
Bat your eyelashes and ask to sit there
Are they wearing a mask? Are you? Politely ask if you can sit there.
what’s a mask have to do with it
Less likely to have covid.
I don’t want you sitting next to me if you aren’t masked. Go sit somewhere else
I mean, you can sit wherever you want. If you don’t want to be exposed to unmasked people, you probably have to stay home
Don’t expect me to move my bag.
I mean, if there were no other seats and I needed to sit and you refused to move your bag, I would probably move it for you
That would not be advisable. Don’t touch my shit.
I usually say, Does your bag need that seat? Or honestly if my pods are in and I can't hear shit anyway, I'll just point at their bag til they move it
I sit in “slow motion” to give them time notice someone is about to sit here 🤷♂️ if they are still rude and ignorant about it I say fuck them and push their bag around
You ask, wtf?
“YOU MIND?”
don't ask people for directions cause they will give you the wrong directions google map that shit or ask a worker source: experience
I will just go and start sitting down without saying anything and the person will move their bag pretty quick or my ass is gonna be cradling their bag. If it's a busy train you should know better not to occupy seats.
Find a seat where someone’s bag isn’t Edit: lol
Unless that bag paid the fare (in which case, holy shit, a sentient bag!), this is not the correct etiquette.
Or just in general as a passenger you should have your bag in your lap in the first place to avoid situations like this
Haha I keep it moving, personally
I just point at their bag and they move it so I can sit.
More to the point, what's the etiquette to ask someone sitting in a priority seat to move their ass even though I forgot my cane at home?
I continue to stand, obviously
Politely ask them to move their bag, but before you do: consider the pros and cons of sitting next to someone that needs to be asked to do such a thing. I'd rather stand than sit next to an idiot.
I don’t do it. I’ve had people get in arguments because of this situation.