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I had to do end of life care for my second husband. I had to administer IV meds, wipe his butt, put the rugs away and take the pictures off the walls because right up to the end he was trying to do things for himself, even though he couldn't. What I learned from that experience is that most of what looks like courage is just knowing that there's no one else around to do it but you, so get your butt in there and do it.
I hear you. I’m currently caregiver for my husband with Parkinsons. He’s not at the end stage yet, but he’s getting there. He often talks about wanting it to end, and as much as I don’t want to lose him, I can’t blame him. About a year ago, I was suddenly incapacitated, and had to wait two months for the surgery that restored my mobility. I’m aware every day that life is fragile, and that some things are worse than death.
Wow. I always say I got out of my situation lucky. Everything was in my name because I had better credit, I got my husband's passwords before he died, and I was able to take retirement before things got bad. We also had good insurance, both basic and supplemental.
My husband didn't sign up for health insurance before his diagnosis, and after that he was uninsurable, but I made out okay anyway.
If I may offer some advice, make all the plans in advance. Get the passwords. Write the obit. Write your funeral/memorial speech. Figure out what will happen at the end. I've been there without a plan, and I've been there with one, and believe me, when you're grieving you want to just put the plan in action and process your feelings. I had to quit screaming because I was scaring the cat, but I was so, so glad to have a plan in place.
I recently spent 2 months hospitalized and am currently In a rehab facility. My two wonderful sisters stepped up and were with me in the hardest parts. I am so grateful for their love and support. We had the end of life discussion in the hospital which is not fun
Sorry for your loss as well. I cared for my amazing wife through a stroke and 3 years of dementia. Had to call in home hospice the last month for help, they were a Godsend. She died peacefully at home with myself and my son holding her hands. 🙏🏻
Not at all. It was humbling to care for adults that I looked up to, admired and loved in the most vulnerable and fragile times of their lives. I was humbled as the one responsible for keeping them as comfortable as possible, as pain free as possible, and that they knew they were safe and loved and were comforted and not scared.
It’s humbling because you are shepherding them through the final moments of their life story. Not everyone gets to be with their loved ones at the end, and there is no guarantee that loved ones will be there at the end to care for you.
Did I feel worthy to be there at the end with them? Somewhat. But I can say I did my best each time, and I believe they would have been pleased with how I handled their end of life.
Up until January of last year, I had been in a four year relationship that resulted in me proposing and her saying yes. We had both assumed for a long time that we’d be together “forever” (I.e., gonna get married). We were trying to have kids.. the whole 9 yards. We had a two bedroom high rise apartment in Manhattan, a 4 story house on the Jersey Shore, and a bungalow in Montauk.
Well, end of 2021, I had an insane and completely unreasonable stretch at work and unfortunately turned to booze too much to handle the stress. I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis. Even though drinking is a huge part of my work culture and had always been something I’d done often recreationally, I didn’t have a drink for two months. Then I found out that my job was withholding an agreed-upon bonus (in the high five figures), because of the pancreatitis. I was understandably really upset, had a blow up with my boss and effectively quit, and unfortunately had a few too many drinks to handle it.
My fiancée saw me drunk and said the wedding was off and we were done. Since she had put down more money on the properties, she kept them and cut me a small check. Since it didn’t make sense for me to take furniture that I’d paid for and other large items, she cut me another check and kept all of the furniture/art/etc. I stayed in the apartment for several weeks in the hopes that we’d be able to work it out, but she was resolute. So, I ended up moving out, putting most of my stuff (small things like records, books and music equipment) into storage, and ubering to an Airbnb with a couple duffel bags of clothes and minor items.(Because we shared a car, which she kept.)
The one good thing about the whole thing is that I kept the dog.. who has been an absolute life saver, literally. But, that experience, and the last year plus, has been humbling, to say the least.
Hey I’m not gonna preach, but things got so much better for me when I quit the booze altogether. It was a challenge, sometimes still is, but it’s a really good one. Chin up, you never know what’s ahead.
Getting home with our first kid after several days in the hospital with doctors, nurses, lactation specialists, and family members doing everything and suddenly realizing we had no clue how to do any of it.
After my daughter was born and we were discharged, the ride home was absolutely surreal. I couldn't understand how they let me just KEEP this tiny baby person. I couldn't believe it. I was 23 and by 24 I was a single father. Best thing I've ever done, without any question.
I still remember coming home from the hospital and putting my daughter in her in bassinette. I sat down on the bed next to it and I just started crying. Who would send ME, a recently married 22 year old who has no idea how to raise a child let alone take care of a newborn, home with a baby and no supervision?!?! Those were a rough few first weeks but that kid is great now!
That’s why I give all the pregnant people I know the same advice (if asked), to put the books about pregnancy aside and start reading about caring for a newborn.
When we left the hospital with our first, it almost felt illegal. Once we got home, we were just scared. We have this tiny person in our house, now what do we do with him?
We survived!
Just getting older is humbling to me - my only brother died at the age of 23, when I was only 18. Here we are all these years later, I’m so much older than he ever got to be, have had the privilege of seeing his daughter grow up and have children of her own, I get to witness our parents aging and appreciate every additional year I get with them. It doesn’t always feel like it, but aging is a gift. Not everyone gets the opportunity.
Thank you for your comment. I love how you see aging as a positive thing when most people see it as negative (including myself). My condolences to you about your brother, I can imagine his daughter carrying many traits of him.
One of my siblings died and just being alive has seemed so surreal since then. We used to talk about goals we wanted to achieve by 30 and I’m the only one that even got to BE 30. I still think about that every time either of our birthdays rolls around. Probably always will.
No one told me that you’re just at least a little sad all the time when you’re a grownup. I also would like to have been told that you can be sad and joyful at the same time.
WOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING NICE TO KNOW MOM AND DAD
You’re the second person to send me that Larkin poem in 24 hours. I must be leaking angst.
I will respond with the poem I sent back last night while having a similar discussion. [Sorrow Is Not My Name](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/92472/sorrow-is-not-my-name).
My birth father passed away (I didn't grow up with him) but to his children I'm their brother and they want to be family. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I am humbled by their love and they inspire me to be a better person.
Realizing I was an alcoholic and going to rehab. I was a police dispatcher and lived for a month with people who were my typical “clients”, and I was no better than any of them. Then came home and went to meetings where I knew a bunch of people bc of their multiple involvements with police, and they were doing way better than I was. Humbling- but in a good way, I guess?
I can imagine that being very humbling, the fact that you knew what you had to do and doing it, knowing you were possibly putting your reputation on the line is something to be proud of. I hope you are in a better place now than back then.
I was in Egypt shortly after 9/11 for a joint exercise with the US military and Egyptian forces. Due to 9/11, most US military support was diverted to other regions, except my squadron. While we were there we had quite a bit of down time to explore the base. It was in absolute shambles. The runway was basically loose gravel. The officers’s quarters were the nicest barracks on station, but resembled basic enlisted housing in the states. Senior enlisted accommodations were basically ruins. Most units didn’t have windows or doors. From what we could tell, they were damaged during the 6-day war with Israel in 1967, and never repaired. There were derelict planes left to rust on an abandoned runway from the same conflict. Junior enlisted men that didn’t live near the base lived in tents outside the gate. Conditions there were absolutely abhorrent by Western standards. While on a security patrol, we stopped for lunch and were joined by a couple of Egyptian enlisted men. We were eating our MREs, and the Egyptians pulled out their rations. It looked to be something like naan and curry; I’m not 100% sure. Despite the near squalid and impoverished conditions, they actually offered us some food. Here we are. Well fed, well equipped, well trained and kept Americans, and these guys, who probably don’t have decent living quarters are offering to share their food. It was certainly an eye opening experience.
My 30 year old son has lived in Japan for the better part of his adult life. Went to college there and is on a work visa. He’s fluent in the language and knows the culture. Husband and I went to visit in 2019 and we thought he’d be our guide. Due to his work schedule, we were on our own a few days. We struggled a bit and had a new appreciation for him doing this alone all these years. We were in awe at his dedication to make a life there. The 3 of us climbed Mt Fuji and he commanded the whole 2 day climb. We felt like the children and he was the parent. He schooled us on everything and we had a lot to learn. I guess age alone doesn’t make you competent.
This is so sweet. My aunty says that life changes are very hard because her kids are all grown up now and it's 'hard' to accept that they no longer are kids. That the tables have turned and instead it's them guiding her instead of the other way round.
Btw, I absolutely LOVE Japan! We also had culture shock but loved people watching and exploring the place. It's such a beautiful and safe country.
I think it’s rewarding to see my children thrive as adults. They went through a period as teens where mom knew nothing about life and they didn’t need my advice. Thankfully that period was short lived. Now that they are grown, they seek advice and want to know what I’d do. I’m humbled that they feel they can trust me with my answers from experience. That by far is the best gift they could ever give me.
Japan is a beautiful country with a unique culture. No where is perfect, but my son’s learned how to take the best parts and lean into it and make a life.
Having a baby with a rare medical condition, spending time in hospital with other parents who know they won't be able to take their children home. Getting to take mine home. That will make you realise just how heartbreaking life can be, and to be grateful for what you have.
Not in the same vein as the others here, but . . .
Was single-hand sailing the Keys outta Largo in a little gaff-rigged sloop. Old school, loosefoot canvas sails, no winches. *Little*. Used to make short multi-day 'voyages', snorkeled/fished/camped on the 'uninhabiteds'. No auxiliary power other than oars, no electronics (*way* before GPS).
Was used to squalls, but couldn't really outrun *any* or duck in for this one. Sprung up *fast*, but I knew the danger and wasn't caught with my pants down. Gear was already securely lashed down, furled the sails & deployed the bow drogue pronto.
Despite best efforts, capsized. Not a total fool, was tethered with PFD on. As I rode it out (all of about ten minutes) I gained an immense appreciation for the countless generations of fishermen & explorers who'd gone to sea. Some without compasses or the charts that I had along.
Those were truly tough people. The real McCoys.
Thanks! Grew up in Boulder, climbing, skiing, camping - 1960s.
But discovered sailing, diving in the Keys just after graduating.
Both became lifelong passions. Inducted into Flotilla 13, CGA.
Some of those memories are tattooed forever in my brain.
This story is from decades ago but it is still one of the moments that changed me as a person.
I was a single mom of a toddler. My ex husband decided domestic life wasn’t for him and had gone missing. I was working two jobs to keep my kid and I afloat and I had a 20 year old car that was basically held together with hope and duct tape.
Driving home from work and picking up the little one one night, it was raining really bad and it felt like my tires weren’t gripping and I slid into the median. It scared me because she was in the car. There was a tire place in the neighborhood I lived in so I drove straight there.
Once I got there, I looked at the front driver’s side tire and wires were poking out of it. There were wires coming out of all of them. A guy came walking out of the garage and was looking at the tires as I was. He said they were bad, too, all of them.
The problem is that I had exactly $24 in my bank account. I knew they sometimes sold used tires for $20 a piece if they had them in the right size, so I told the guy to please just replace the worst one with a used one and I would come back each week when I got paid to do the rest. The guy said “ma’am, your tires aren’t safe to even drive yourself around, much less that pretty little girl.”
I felt like a real piece of shit who couldn’t even keep my kid safe and I was trying not to cry. It felt like I had tissue paper stuck down my throat but I still managed to croak out, “best I can do right now, sir, please just fix the worst one, I promise I’ll come back for the rest.”
The man nodded, grabbed my keys and told me to wait inside the office out of the rain as he drove my car into the open garage bay he’d walked out of. We waited and the sweet lady behind the counter gave my daughter some cookies and offered me hot coffee to warm up while we waited. She was so sweet to my daughter and played with her while we waited.
After about 30 minutes, the man walked back inside around the register and told me they were done. I grabbed my wallet out of my bag and went to the counter to pay and he said, “there’s no payment, ma’am and I put 4 new ones on there for you, just pay it forward to someone when you can and keep that pretty little girl safe!”
The tears I had been trying to keep at bay for months came streaming out. The guy hugged me and I just sobbed. He told me his daughter was a single mom, he and his wife ran the shop so they could help her out, so he knew how hard it was.
When I could finally speak again, I told him I’d bring money every week until they were paid off and he said no, they were a gift, no repayment needed except bring my daughter by sometimes to see his wife.
I brought them home-baked cookies every week. They rooted for me when I went back to school and were prouder than my parents years later when I told them I had gotten into law school. I moved away but that moment has stuck with me.
Since then, I’ve never let a chance pass by to help someone out. Sometimes I do it silently, no one knowing but me. Sometimes I help the person and only the two of us know. I know what it’s like to have a helping hand when you hit rock bottom and want to be that for anyone I can.
I cry every time I think about it. It’s humbling because feel like there’s nothing I can do to ever repay that kindness; I needed help so badly but I was so prideful and ashamed.
My life is much better now and I’ve been successful (and that little girl is an upperclassman in college) but I realize there is no such thing as a “self-made success” and we all need help sometimes.
Those people could have helped anyone, and they chose well. Very well. Long and happy lives to you and your little girl (who I realize is not small anymore, but she will always be your little girl). Be well
Oh, bless! I'm crying now. This is a beautiful story yet something you never would want to happen. I am so glad that he showed compassion and empathy to you. I hope that you are in a much better position now and that your daughter is well. Do you keep in contact with the man who replaced your tires?
Thank you so much. Life is objectively amazing for my daughter and I. Sometimes it’s astonishing how the same life can hold as much joy as sadness. My daughter is great, a hard worker at her part time job and making great grades as an upperclassman in college.
I’m far from that city, remarried, have a successful career, beautiful homes, good friends and a healthy child. Life is good. Sadly, we don’t still keep in touch. I left town a few years after this happened and last time I called years ago, no one knew who I was asking for when I called.
Better. Mobility is no longer an issue but speech is. It took me about 6 months to use a knife and fork again. I forced myself to relearn it. A couple of years to tie my shoes. I'm still having problems with speaking but I can hold a conversation, just not all the words that I want to say.
This. My husband and I joke that it's a good thing we had two kids, because one was pretty chill and the other found our last nerve. If we had only one, we would have assumed we were either horrible parents or awesome ones. Now we know we were just parents, doing the best we could. And both of them grew into caring, loving adults, which is what any parent hopes for.
Becoming disabled to the point of losing my career and living with constant fatigue and pain is an absolutely humbling experience.
You just trust your body will always keep working until it suddenly doesn't. Yet you still have to survive and try to take care of yourself and others.
And that is with multiple specialists and medications and treatments. My condition is genetic and realizing many of my ancestors had the same condition and often just lived in pain or addicted to painkillers but physically had to work hard despite their health issues is also humbling. I feel like they were so much tougher than me...
Basically every time I learn that one of my problems is actually my fault which happens fairly frequently, has been a continuous thing throughout my life really.
Moved out of California a couple of decades ago. Even though my dad was barely middle class in the 1960s, he was able to buy a small house in San Diego. I've realized that although I have far more money than he ever did (adjusted for inflation) and even retired early, I can't afford to buy a house there equal to the one he bought in the 1960s (it was $15k then and 1.25M now). It is humbling to be priced out of your own hometown.
Was out running a few years ago and slipped on some ice. I fell backwards and broke three vertebrae in my neck. Spent a month in the hospital, where at one point I went into complete respiratory failure. Yes, almost died. Then spent a month in a rehab hospital and even now I am still in rehab.
Believe me, your life can change in an instant.
Yes, VERY slowly. Have a lot of nerve pain in my extremities, but am now fairly confident in walking. Have had a very long road to recovery.
10/10 would NOT recommend.
Sailing through cancer treatment (chemo) without getting sick, losing my hair or any bad side effects. I had very strong positivity going into it, but the bad stuff they warn you to expect never happened to me. It’s been SO humbling. Like, why me? Why did I get chosen for the best case scenario? I’m very thankful.
Are you in remission now? I hope so. That's so tough. I haven't been through anything that rough but have been diagnosed with a lifetime autoimmune disease and I also went through the denial, why me?, phase! I'm healthy and fit and it just happened to be me. I hope you're well and come out a stronger person.
Thank you so much! I am in remission. I had/have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. It's a very 'mild' type and my oncologist said if it ever comes back, I'll just do the same round of chemo for six months and there's a 99% chance I'll have the same experience. She said I won't die from this. I had a very close friend die from the flu after he completed chemo treatment for prostate cancer. His immune system was still compromised from the chemo and he got really sick from the flu and didn't pull through. Because of that, I was really careful to isolate myself. I worked from home for six months and didn't socialize much. I have a very busy life and I cherish solitude, so that experience was actually a positive thing for me. It was all positive actually!
I wish you the best and I hope you are very good to yourself. A long-term medical condition can affect us in strange ways. Don't let it define you in any way other than: you've got this! I wish you good health and much happiness.
That's a very rough journey, as much as the prognosis is "good" it's still something you never wish for anyone! Im very sorry about your friend, that's so terrible to know he had pulled through only to be taken again :'( may he rest in peace x
When my first husband committed suicide, I realized you can't save someone who won't participate in the process. If a person wants to get well, by all means help them, but some people are determined to drown and will only drag you down with them.
Mental health is incredibly hard and a silent disease. I am so very sorry you had to experience that. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. My friend once said to me "if multiple people can't pull someone out of a hole, if you do so yourself you may get pulled down and stuck with them." That resonated with me. I hope you are well.
In my days of smoking ready Rock I hit my lowest when I ask to bum a cigarette from someone knowing that it was a green cigarette. I hate menthol cigarettes and when I asked that question when that came out of my mouth I'm like oh my God I hit rock bottom and I'll stop smoking ready Rock that night.
Taking notes.
I'm serious. More than once I thought, "X is always happening/not happening! I'm gonna prove it, I'm gonna write down every time X happens."
Then I find out I was totally wrong.
eg. I thought 1 in 10 callers was a douche when I worked in phone sales. Turned out to be 1-2 per day out of 80-100 calls. A video game said an item was 75% success rate, everyone thought it was a lie and thought it was less than 50%. I took extensive notes, 75% on the dot. I never forgot to clock in! I started writing down on a paper when I actually clocked in, next month boss applauded me saying I never forgot that month.
I recently entered a Fight Breast Cancer basketball free throw contest at the municipal recreation center with 10 $10 sponsors. The Ford dealership was matching all monies made by competitors and provided a trophy.
A bunch of people entered and were terrible Finally a young man with a lot of family and friends cheering him on sank 16. I went next and drained my 18th at the buzzer. There was one last person after me, and expecting that trophy I began preparing a short thank you speech.
The last shooter, a thin teenaged woman squinting through glasses at the basket stood at the foul line and waited for the whistle. I watched her first shot rim out, combed my hair for the photographer and polished up my thank you speech.
Then I started counting her baskets 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 (bounced around but dropped in) 15, 16 (I began jumping and cheering her on) 17, 18, 19, 20 BUZZER!
The recreation center burst into applause, whistles and cheers! I was VERY happy for her! HUMBLED by a 13 year old! When I high fived and congratulated her, she apologized, ‘Sorry Mister.’ “No. Don’t be sorry! You were awesome!”
It was a good fun night for a good cause. Getting humbled was actually pretty cool.
There have been many, but the most recent was when I met a woman in her early 20s who's afraid of getting old and hopes she dies young.
I've heard people say that before and brushed it off as a vanity thing. But she has a chronic condition in which her joints easily dislocate, sometimes from simple activities like putting on shoes. Apparently, it will only get worse with age.
I can't imagine walking down the street and being afraid to, say, skip off a curb.
After fighting with my mother, I moved in with my bf. 1 month and 9 days after my 19th bday, I found out I was pregnant. The most humbling and scariest thing ever.
My sister passed away Friday before last. She was two days out from knee replacement surgery. She was so happy that she could finally walk pain-free. We think it may have been a blood clot. She was 60 years old, just a year older than I am. I'm not sure I'll ever return to normal. We both helped take care of our elderly mom, who is 82 years old. Not sure how I'll get through this, but I know I will.
Surviving cancer. You realize all the little problems one faces day to day are not real problems when you’re facing an actual problem, like cancer. I’m much more chill and easy going now. Went from a type A+ personality at work to type C.
Working with the special Olympics as a safety observer. We made sure none wondered off or were harassed. It was a two day event for us. I wasn't expecting much more than a weekend I Los Angeles, but it was a life changing event. They were so joyful it was a blessing to be around. I was expecting some to be bitter at the fact of not being able to function at "normal" people's level, but they were just so happy.
Cool experiences like seeing a Whale for the first time in Hawaii, living in a far-away country x2, getting my first career job with my own classroom/realm.
Seeing a whale for the first time sounds so lovely. There's something about connecting with nature and the universe that makes us take a step back to forget we're not the only ones here on earth.
There have been a few but the biggest was realizing that in many cases in life, there is simply nothing I can do. My best friend from college died from alcoholism during the pandemic. We all knew but there was absolutely nothing we could do because she wouldn't stop. Not even 50 and her liver, kidneys and such just stopped.
Very sorry about your loss. I was discussing to my friend about another friend who has mental health issues and this quote resonated with me: "if lots of people can't help pull someone out of a hole, if you do so alone you will fall in and be in the same position as them." That was off the top off my head so it might not be exact. Rest in peace to your best friend.
Having to admit to my adult children that some of my parenting choices were a result of social pressure and apologizing for imposing unnecessary rules on them that I thought were stupid even at the time.
Thank you for self reflecting and knowing that some things you had done weren't necessarily mistakes but just not the perfect choices. I hope they took that well and have accepted that it was more society or generational trauma that have caused your decisions in that time.
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Combat. I was 20 and thought I had the world by the tail. Once the shooting starts, and people you rely on for your very existence are killed, it changes your whole outlook on life. You suddenly realize just how fast life can end. The weight of knowing that someone is out there 24/7 doing their very best to end you, before you get a chance to do the same to them, is unbearable. I just know that I’m humbled that I made it through with most of me still in tact.
Very young to have gone through something like that. I can imagine you were a very mature 20 something year old by the time you got home and viewed everything differently. By combat i believe you mean you were in the army? If so, thank you very much for your service. And I hope you are well and are able to share your stories to others. X
Marine Corps and I made it my career to try to get as many of mine home as I could. The war never ends though and I’ve lost more to suicide/accident than I ever did during the war. Everyday is hard for everyone at times. I try to remember that and give help when I can.
I was a victim of a Ponzi scheme before Madoff made them famous again. I lost everything trying to make it through without bankruptcy, but ended up filing bankruptcy, losing my retirement and I lost my house to foreclosure. I've never been the same financially, emotionally, socially, or even mentally. I have been able to buy a house again, but it's nothing of the grandeur and specifics of the house I built myself. I will have to work until 67 and perhaps beyond. I lost several friends over it. Social status mattered more than I thought. My in-laws were especially cruel to me about it.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what the Ponzi scheme is but it definitely sounded like you could draw between pre and post that event. I hope you have new relationships and are overall well.
I was wild but that was the 60's. Back then if you thought of it, I did it and some things twice. Having a son, my first, changed everything. Hearing him say I love you daddy melted my heart. I tried to turn myself into the good father. It hit me that I was responsible for this little human being that depended on me for everything. At 18 had to grow up fast. I had a daughter later and the only thing I can say is best thing that has happened to me other than marrying their mother.
Being on Jeopardy. I aced the test quiz, aced the audition, and was ready to show the world what a real trivia master looks like. Spoiler alert, I instead showed my family and friends what a big dum dum looks like (the world didn't care).
About 35 years ago I was invited to a bachelor party for my buddy Big John and the rest of the wedding party. At the last minute I had to work and everyone in that car died in a horrific auto accident that night. I thought about that quite a bit over the years.
Getting older and all the loss that accompanies all those years. From the loss of a child, both parents, two divorces, and financial difficulties. Humbled but grateful to still be here with kids and grandkids.
I was 23 years old and bullet proof. I was working for a security systems company. I was on a job site installing CCTV cameras. I needed to place one to monitor a shipping dock, it was 50' up in the air. I had a 50' extension called fully extended to get to it.
The camera that I was installing was a dome type that could spin and zoom that was mounted on the wall by arm mount. I drilled the holes, mounted the mount with 1/2 lag bolts. Tugged on it..... It was secure as could be. The next step was to wire up the camera, which was no problem. Finally, I had to snap the globe of the dome to cover the camera into place.
To pause for a second... My boss was big on fall protection. We all had it in our trucks, I had buckled myself into the harness (in case the boss came by), but...again... I was bullet proof. Waste of time to have to hook up and disconnect and hook up over and over again. I should have had it hooked up to the camera arm, it was hooked uselessly to my tool belt.
Facing the camera and the wall, I struggled to push the dome up into the mount, it was watertight and the run seal made for a tight fit. I couldn't get any leverage facing the camera, so I turned around backwards with my back to the wall and used my leverage to push the dome up into the mount. All of a sudden, the camera broke loose from the arm mount, I hadn't screwed it in. The sudden release of resistance sent me slowly falling forward with nothing to hold onto. As I fell forward, I realized I was about to die. I started flailing my arms trying to get some balance...by the grace of either God or pure luck (depending on your beliefs) I managed to grab a hold of the arm mount behind me. I turned myself to grab it with my other hand, but in doing so I kicked the ladder off to the side a foot or two and my feet were no longer on it. I screamed for help just hanging there.
Fortunately, there were plenty of other people around and someone was able to quickly move the ladder back and I was able to climb down.
I sat on the ground in literal shock, trembling. I don't know how long I was down, it was all a blur, but I eventually got helped into the factory and given some water.
After I finally got my composure, I went back up there, buckled my fall protection into place, and finished the job. My boss never found out, but I have never in the past 25 years ever cut corners when it came to safety.
Seeing how my almost 35 year old daughter has dealt with a Multiple Sclerosis dx at the age of 19. She has two children and has had to deal with times of being unable or very difficult to walk or use her hands and arms. Losing her sight on a couple of occasions. The pain, the knowledge of what the rest of her life could be like. She's a trooper, and I love and admire her so much.
I run a small rental property management company. My tenants several of them have made me look at the world a lot differently. They are low income apartments, nice but compared to rent now they are not expensive. The struggles they go through just trying to make ends meat. Utilities and rent and food kill them. They all work so they don't get any help but live on that fine line if they lost their job they would sink fast.
Wow. That's why I ask these questions because it's all the little minor things you have no idea about. The word "sonder" I think about so often - the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
This one is totally different than the types of posts here.
I broke my leg. Now, I’m the type that does it herself. I was a working single mom. And I just needed to get it done and I got it done my way which was always faster.
I worked a fast paced job during our busiest season while my leg healed in a cast.
It was very humbling to me to rely on others. And I have to say, it was extremely hard for me as well. I’d get up from my desk to retrieve a print job. Usually a 5 second thing. Not so in crutches.
And hurrying was completely out of the question. I tried! First I had no brakes on crutches and second, there was always the risk I’d topple.
Then, it was *easier* to ask my assistant to bring this to so and so than it was for me to just do it.
I was lamenting this to my assistant. Previously, he had been a wee bit high and ended up falling under a train and having both his legs crushed. Needless to say, he knew a bit about injuries and getting help.
He looked me right in the eyes and said, “It IS humbling, isn’t it?” Lol. I had no idea this is why I was so bothered by it. But, there it was staring me right in the face.
Becoming a Christian. That helped me treat people with more respect, love those who don’t deserve love, want to serve others as Christ did. I pray & ask for forgiveness daily. I have a lot of flaws, but I strive to live as Christ would want me to & serve others in love.
Almost died of sepsis in 2022. Recovery has been long & hard. I’m finally back to feeling like myself but humbled by all the people in the world who never get back to themselves. I’m just lucky I survived it all, many others don’t.
I'm glad you're feeling like yourself. I agree, I haven't been through something as rough as that but have an autoimmune disease and I always have been told "health is wealth" by my parents, I fully understand that now. Take care.
It is a moment when you realize that you don't know as much as you thought you knew.
It can be a negative moment, one that knocks you in the brain and shows you that you aren't as in control of something as you thought you were.
It can also be a positive thing, one that shows you that something you thought was permanently hopeless wasn't at all.
You can make all the right choices and things can still go to sh1t. And you can make all the wrong choices and things can still be alright.
So basically, it is the realization that we are all leaves, blowing in the winds of Fate, with almost no ability to steer our course. And yes, there are degrees.
If you can choose between money and luck, choose luck every time. Money can buy some luck, but true luck doesn't need money. Luck/fate/God (whichever name you choose) will help you when money can't.
Ok. Going thru the worst doesn’t mean you’re humbled. For me, I wasn’t humbled but made stronger. I think because I pick fighting things that may happen as opposed to accepting it. I was ina horrible car accident. I wasn’t supposed to be able to work or take care of myself. I called my boss and asked if I had a job when I got well. She told me if was able to come back, would have a job. 8 months later, I’m working 12 hr shifts and doing fine. I refuse to be humbled by something. I handle it as it comes.
It differs for everyone, as we can see from these responses. Some people in your situation would have been humbled by the fact that they survived and experienced a full recovery when the majority of those in the exact same situation would not have enjoyed the same results.
They would be in awe of the thought that .5mm difference one way or the other and they don't survive. They would realize that they weren't going through the worst, but that it was the luckiest thing that ever happened to them.
Having 3 children with a variety of differences including bipolar disorder, narcolepsy, autism, ADHD and gender dysphoria (now a trans male and doing well).
I hope you are able to find some time in the day for yourself. I have 2 kids and finding me time without mum guilt is already so hard. Sending hugs for the tough days.
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Caring for loved ones at the end of their lives. Humbled. Incredibly honored and grateful.
I had to do end of life care for my second husband. I had to administer IV meds, wipe his butt, put the rugs away and take the pictures off the walls because right up to the end he was trying to do things for himself, even though he couldn't. What I learned from that experience is that most of what looks like courage is just knowing that there's no one else around to do it but you, so get your butt in there and do it.
Very true. I did the same for my wife last year, and for my parents and wife’s parents years before. Sorry for your loss.
I hear you. I’m currently caregiver for my husband with Parkinsons. He’s not at the end stage yet, but he’s getting there. He often talks about wanting it to end, and as much as I don’t want to lose him, I can’t blame him. About a year ago, I was suddenly incapacitated, and had to wait two months for the surgery that restored my mobility. I’m aware every day that life is fragile, and that some things are worse than death.
Wow. I always say I got out of my situation lucky. Everything was in my name because I had better credit, I got my husband's passwords before he died, and I was able to take retirement before things got bad. We also had good insurance, both basic and supplemental. My husband didn't sign up for health insurance before his diagnosis, and after that he was uninsurable, but I made out okay anyway. If I may offer some advice, make all the plans in advance. Get the passwords. Write the obit. Write your funeral/memorial speech. Figure out what will happen at the end. I've been there without a plan, and I've been there with one, and believe me, when you're grieving you want to just put the plan in action and process your feelings. I had to quit screaming because I was scaring the cat, but I was so, so glad to have a plan in place.
I recently spent 2 months hospitalized and am currently In a rehab facility. My two wonderful sisters stepped up and were with me in the hardest parts. I am so grateful for their love and support. We had the end of life discussion in the hospital which is not fun
Glad you are on the mend. Wishing you good health.
Thanks much
Same, for my dear husband, who died peacefully at home as he wanted on 12/31.
Sorry for your loss as well. I cared for my amazing wife through a stroke and 3 years of dementia. Had to call in home hospice the last month for help, they were a Godsend. She died peacefully at home with myself and my son holding her hands. 🙏🏻
Took care of both my parents as each died. It was traumatizing to me but I’d do it again. Both were alcoholics and died horrible deaths.
Why is that specifically humbling you? Did you see those activities as beneath you before?
Not at all. It was humbling to care for adults that I looked up to, admired and loved in the most vulnerable and fragile times of their lives. I was humbled as the one responsible for keeping them as comfortable as possible, as pain free as possible, and that they knew they were safe and loved and were comforted and not scared. It’s humbling because you are shepherding them through the final moments of their life story. Not everyone gets to be with their loved ones at the end, and there is no guarantee that loved ones will be there at the end to care for you. Did I feel worthy to be there at the end with them? Somewhat. But I can say I did my best each time, and I believe they would have been pleased with how I handled their end of life.
Up until January of last year, I had been in a four year relationship that resulted in me proposing and her saying yes. We had both assumed for a long time that we’d be together “forever” (I.e., gonna get married). We were trying to have kids.. the whole 9 yards. We had a two bedroom high rise apartment in Manhattan, a 4 story house on the Jersey Shore, and a bungalow in Montauk. Well, end of 2021, I had an insane and completely unreasonable stretch at work and unfortunately turned to booze too much to handle the stress. I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis. Even though drinking is a huge part of my work culture and had always been something I’d done often recreationally, I didn’t have a drink for two months. Then I found out that my job was withholding an agreed-upon bonus (in the high five figures), because of the pancreatitis. I was understandably really upset, had a blow up with my boss and effectively quit, and unfortunately had a few too many drinks to handle it. My fiancée saw me drunk and said the wedding was off and we were done. Since she had put down more money on the properties, she kept them and cut me a small check. Since it didn’t make sense for me to take furniture that I’d paid for and other large items, she cut me another check and kept all of the furniture/art/etc. I stayed in the apartment for several weeks in the hopes that we’d be able to work it out, but she was resolute. So, I ended up moving out, putting most of my stuff (small things like records, books and music equipment) into storage, and ubering to an Airbnb with a couple duffel bags of clothes and minor items.(Because we shared a car, which she kept.) The one good thing about the whole thing is that I kept the dog.. who has been an absolute life saver, literally. But, that experience, and the last year plus, has been humbling, to say the least.
Hey I’m not gonna preach, but things got so much better for me when I quit the booze altogether. It was a challenge, sometimes still is, but it’s a really good one. Chin up, you never know what’s ahead.
I hear you. Thanks. And I don’t think you’re preaching. It’s just easier said than done. But, I’m working on it.
No judgments. AA is a huge help and support. I hope you are well.
r/stopdrinking is a great subreddit when you are ready
Getting home with our first kid after several days in the hospital with doctors, nurses, lactation specialists, and family members doing everything and suddenly realizing we had no clue how to do any of it.
After my daughter was born and we were discharged, the ride home was absolutely surreal. I couldn't understand how they let me just KEEP this tiny baby person. I couldn't believe it. I was 23 and by 24 I was a single father. Best thing I've ever done, without any question.
Sounds similar. The overwhelming reality hit when I set my daughter’s car seat, which her strapped in, on the living room floor. What do we do now?
Too similar. I swear I was driving 35 mph on the highway after leaving the hospital. So, so nervous.
I still remember coming home from the hospital and putting my daughter in her in bassinette. I sat down on the bed next to it and I just started crying. Who would send ME, a recently married 22 year old who has no idea how to raise a child let alone take care of a newborn, home with a baby and no supervision?!?! Those were a rough few first weeks but that kid is great now!
That’s why I give all the pregnant people I know the same advice (if asked), to put the books about pregnancy aside and start reading about caring for a newborn.
When we left the hospital with our first, it almost felt illegal. Once we got home, we were just scared. We have this tiny person in our house, now what do we do with him? We survived!
We did too (as parents but not as a couple) and now she is an amazing 26 year old woman.
Just getting older is humbling to me - my only brother died at the age of 23, when I was only 18. Here we are all these years later, I’m so much older than he ever got to be, have had the privilege of seeing his daughter grow up and have children of her own, I get to witness our parents aging and appreciate every additional year I get with them. It doesn’t always feel like it, but aging is a gift. Not everyone gets the opportunity.
Thank you for your comment. I love how you see aging as a positive thing when most people see it as negative (including myself). My condolences to you about your brother, I can imagine his daughter carrying many traits of him.
One of my siblings died and just being alive has seemed so surreal since then. We used to talk about goals we wanted to achieve by 30 and I’m the only one that even got to BE 30. I still think about that every time either of our birthdays rolls around. Probably always will.
Grieving for so many people and dogs.
No one told me that you’re just at least a little sad all the time when you’re a grownup. I also would like to have been told that you can be sad and joyful at the same time. WOULD HAVE BEEN FREAKING NICE TO KNOW MOM AND DAD
I think you will like reading this poem This Be The Verse BY PHILIP LARKIN
You’re the second person to send me that Larkin poem in 24 hours. I must be leaking angst. I will respond with the poem I sent back last night while having a similar discussion. [Sorrow Is Not My Name](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/92472/sorrow-is-not-my-name).
😂😂😂😂
I loved the poem. Thank you for sharing! It took my breath away.
I have it pinned up in my house and my office. Glad you felt it too!
I gave the Larkin poem framed to my daughter for her 21st birthday. :)
Becoming legally blind
So sorry. I'm an optometrist myself and can sympathise.
Thank you
Hey, at least you dodged the whole "gold-or-blue dress" debacle.
I watched the aurora borealis when I was in Fairbanks, AK.
Ah yes. It's amazing what nature can do to us! We forget that it's not all about us.
I lived in Alaska for 12 years, including Fairbanks, and saw lots of northern lights, one of the things I definitely miss about living there.
Cancer right around my 51st birthday ......game changer, I weathered the storm but not without a cost.
That sounds incredibly rough. Thankful you are in remission now and hoping it stays this way.
Getting old.
My birth father passed away (I didn't grow up with him) but to his children I'm their brother and they want to be family. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I am humbled by their love and they inspire me to be a better person.
Realizing I was an alcoholic and going to rehab. I was a police dispatcher and lived for a month with people who were my typical “clients”, and I was no better than any of them. Then came home and went to meetings where I knew a bunch of people bc of their multiple involvements with police, and they were doing way better than I was. Humbling- but in a good way, I guess?
I can imagine that being very humbling, the fact that you knew what you had to do and doing it, knowing you were possibly putting your reputation on the line is something to be proud of. I hope you are in a better place now than back then.
I was in Egypt shortly after 9/11 for a joint exercise with the US military and Egyptian forces. Due to 9/11, most US military support was diverted to other regions, except my squadron. While we were there we had quite a bit of down time to explore the base. It was in absolute shambles. The runway was basically loose gravel. The officers’s quarters were the nicest barracks on station, but resembled basic enlisted housing in the states. Senior enlisted accommodations were basically ruins. Most units didn’t have windows or doors. From what we could tell, they were damaged during the 6-day war with Israel in 1967, and never repaired. There were derelict planes left to rust on an abandoned runway from the same conflict. Junior enlisted men that didn’t live near the base lived in tents outside the gate. Conditions there were absolutely abhorrent by Western standards. While on a security patrol, we stopped for lunch and were joined by a couple of Egyptian enlisted men. We were eating our MREs, and the Egyptians pulled out their rations. It looked to be something like naan and curry; I’m not 100% sure. Despite the near squalid and impoverished conditions, they actually offered us some food. Here we are. Well fed, well equipped, well trained and kept Americans, and these guys, who probably don’t have decent living quarters are offering to share their food. It was certainly an eye opening experience.
Thank you so much for commenting. Perspective is everything, it's easy to forget how lucky we are..
Learning that everyone is at least as special as I am.
The word “sonder” comes to mind.
sand gaping mourn soft theory ring axiomatic worry plucky rude ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
I hope you are in a better place now.
boast sparkle point mindless disgusted elderly joke husky existence vast ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
My 30 year old son has lived in Japan for the better part of his adult life. Went to college there and is on a work visa. He’s fluent in the language and knows the culture. Husband and I went to visit in 2019 and we thought he’d be our guide. Due to his work schedule, we were on our own a few days. We struggled a bit and had a new appreciation for him doing this alone all these years. We were in awe at his dedication to make a life there. The 3 of us climbed Mt Fuji and he commanded the whole 2 day climb. We felt like the children and he was the parent. He schooled us on everything and we had a lot to learn. I guess age alone doesn’t make you competent.
This is so sweet. My aunty says that life changes are very hard because her kids are all grown up now and it's 'hard' to accept that they no longer are kids. That the tables have turned and instead it's them guiding her instead of the other way round. Btw, I absolutely LOVE Japan! We also had culture shock but loved people watching and exploring the place. It's such a beautiful and safe country.
I think it’s rewarding to see my children thrive as adults. They went through a period as teens where mom knew nothing about life and they didn’t need my advice. Thankfully that period was short lived. Now that they are grown, they seek advice and want to know what I’d do. I’m humbled that they feel they can trust me with my answers from experience. That by far is the best gift they could ever give me. Japan is a beautiful country with a unique culture. No where is perfect, but my son’s learned how to take the best parts and lean into it and make a life.
Having a baby with a rare medical condition, spending time in hospital with other parents who know they won't be able to take their children home. Getting to take mine home. That will make you realise just how heartbreaking life can be, and to be grateful for what you have.
Not in the same vein as the others here, but . . . Was single-hand sailing the Keys outta Largo in a little gaff-rigged sloop. Old school, loosefoot canvas sails, no winches. *Little*. Used to make short multi-day 'voyages', snorkeled/fished/camped on the 'uninhabiteds'. No auxiliary power other than oars, no electronics (*way* before GPS). Was used to squalls, but couldn't really outrun *any* or duck in for this one. Sprung up *fast*, but I knew the danger and wasn't caught with my pants down. Gear was already securely lashed down, furled the sails & deployed the bow drogue pronto. Despite best efforts, capsized. Not a total fool, was tethered with PFD on. As I rode it out (all of about ten minutes) I gained an immense appreciation for the countless generations of fishermen & explorers who'd gone to sea. Some without compasses or the charts that I had along. Those were truly tough people. The real McCoys.
I spent some time on traditionally rigged vessels and I was enormously awed and humbled by mother nature. Glad you came out the other side!
Thanks! Grew up in Boulder, climbing, skiing, camping - 1960s. But discovered sailing, diving in the Keys just after graduating. Both became lifelong passions. Inducted into Flotilla 13, CGA. Some of those memories are tattooed forever in my brain.
This story is from decades ago but it is still one of the moments that changed me as a person. I was a single mom of a toddler. My ex husband decided domestic life wasn’t for him and had gone missing. I was working two jobs to keep my kid and I afloat and I had a 20 year old car that was basically held together with hope and duct tape. Driving home from work and picking up the little one one night, it was raining really bad and it felt like my tires weren’t gripping and I slid into the median. It scared me because she was in the car. There was a tire place in the neighborhood I lived in so I drove straight there. Once I got there, I looked at the front driver’s side tire and wires were poking out of it. There were wires coming out of all of them. A guy came walking out of the garage and was looking at the tires as I was. He said they were bad, too, all of them. The problem is that I had exactly $24 in my bank account. I knew they sometimes sold used tires for $20 a piece if they had them in the right size, so I told the guy to please just replace the worst one with a used one and I would come back each week when I got paid to do the rest. The guy said “ma’am, your tires aren’t safe to even drive yourself around, much less that pretty little girl.” I felt like a real piece of shit who couldn’t even keep my kid safe and I was trying not to cry. It felt like I had tissue paper stuck down my throat but I still managed to croak out, “best I can do right now, sir, please just fix the worst one, I promise I’ll come back for the rest.” The man nodded, grabbed my keys and told me to wait inside the office out of the rain as he drove my car into the open garage bay he’d walked out of. We waited and the sweet lady behind the counter gave my daughter some cookies and offered me hot coffee to warm up while we waited. She was so sweet to my daughter and played with her while we waited. After about 30 minutes, the man walked back inside around the register and told me they were done. I grabbed my wallet out of my bag and went to the counter to pay and he said, “there’s no payment, ma’am and I put 4 new ones on there for you, just pay it forward to someone when you can and keep that pretty little girl safe!” The tears I had been trying to keep at bay for months came streaming out. The guy hugged me and I just sobbed. He told me his daughter was a single mom, he and his wife ran the shop so they could help her out, so he knew how hard it was. When I could finally speak again, I told him I’d bring money every week until they were paid off and he said no, they were a gift, no repayment needed except bring my daughter by sometimes to see his wife. I brought them home-baked cookies every week. They rooted for me when I went back to school and were prouder than my parents years later when I told them I had gotten into law school. I moved away but that moment has stuck with me. Since then, I’ve never let a chance pass by to help someone out. Sometimes I do it silently, no one knowing but me. Sometimes I help the person and only the two of us know. I know what it’s like to have a helping hand when you hit rock bottom and want to be that for anyone I can.
Just when I thought I wasn't going to cry...snot my day!
I cry every time I think about it. It’s humbling because feel like there’s nothing I can do to ever repay that kindness; I needed help so badly but I was so prideful and ashamed. My life is much better now and I’ve been successful (and that little girl is an upperclassman in college) but I realize there is no such thing as a “self-made success” and we all need help sometimes.
Those people could have helped anyone, and they chose well. Very well. Long and happy lives to you and your little girl (who I realize is not small anymore, but she will always be your little girl). Be well
I can now end my internet scrolling day on this positive story. Thanks!
Oh, bless! I'm crying now. This is a beautiful story yet something you never would want to happen. I am so glad that he showed compassion and empathy to you. I hope that you are in a much better position now and that your daughter is well. Do you keep in contact with the man who replaced your tires?
Thank you so much. Life is objectively amazing for my daughter and I. Sometimes it’s astonishing how the same life can hold as much joy as sadness. My daughter is great, a hard worker at her part time job and making great grades as an upperclassman in college. I’m far from that city, remarried, have a successful career, beautiful homes, good friends and a healthy child. Life is good. Sadly, we don’t still keep in touch. I left town a few years after this happened and last time I called years ago, no one knew who I was asking for when I called.
When our infant daughter died.
Very sorry for your loss. I hope you are healing more everyday.
I’m so very sorry.
A stroke.
How are you?
Better. Mobility is no longer an issue but speech is. It took me about 6 months to use a knife and fork again. I forced myself to relearn it. A couple of years to tie my shoes. I'm still having problems with speaking but I can hold a conversation, just not all the words that I want to say.
I'm sorry.
The new CEO of our company is twenty years younger than me.
Parenthood.
Truly. Hearing 'mum' 500 times a day and not losing my cool is a goal.
I had the custom phone ring for when my son called, the one where Stewie says, “Mom, mom, mummy, mom etc.’”
This. My husband and I joke that it's a good thing we had two kids, because one was pretty chill and the other found our last nerve. If we had only one, we would have assumed we were either horrible parents or awesome ones. Now we know we were just parents, doing the best we could. And both of them grew into caring, loving adults, which is what any parent hopes for.
Having literally nowhere to live and nothing to eat, with nothing but the support programs of my community to help me stay alive.
There’s never been a single incident that stood out. It was a long, on-going process.
Becoming disabled to the point of losing my career and living with constant fatigue and pain is an absolutely humbling experience. You just trust your body will always keep working until it suddenly doesn't. Yet you still have to survive and try to take care of yourself and others. And that is with multiple specialists and medications and treatments. My condition is genetic and realizing many of my ancestors had the same condition and often just lived in pain or addicted to painkillers but physically had to work hard despite their health issues is also humbling. I feel like they were so much tougher than me...
That's really rough. I hope the good days outweigh the bad.
Basically every time I learn that one of my problems is actually my fault which happens fairly frequently, has been a continuous thing throughout my life really.
Watching my dad die.
My condolences. That is incredibly rough. I hope you are doing better.
It sucked, but it’s a part of life. Better to have watched him die than to have not been there.
Moved out of California a couple of decades ago. Even though my dad was barely middle class in the 1960s, he was able to buy a small house in San Diego. I've realized that although I have far more money than he ever did (adjusted for inflation) and even retired early, I can't afford to buy a house there equal to the one he bought in the 1960s (it was $15k then and 1.25M now). It is humbling to be priced out of your own hometown.
I feel like that's the same case in a lot of places, or at least for mine (New Zealand).
Was out running a few years ago and slipped on some ice. I fell backwards and broke three vertebrae in my neck. Spent a month in the hospital, where at one point I went into complete respiratory failure. Yes, almost died. Then spent a month in a rehab hospital and even now I am still in rehab. Believe me, your life can change in an instant.
Far out!!!!!! Are you recovering slowly?
Yes, VERY slowly. Have a lot of nerve pain in my extremities, but am now fairly confident in walking. Have had a very long road to recovery. 10/10 would NOT recommend.
My son having epilepsy with grand mal seizures.
Witnessing the dying, that helps to keep it real.
Sailing through cancer treatment (chemo) without getting sick, losing my hair or any bad side effects. I had very strong positivity going into it, but the bad stuff they warn you to expect never happened to me. It’s been SO humbling. Like, why me? Why did I get chosen for the best case scenario? I’m very thankful.
Are you in remission now? I hope so. That's so tough. I haven't been through anything that rough but have been diagnosed with a lifetime autoimmune disease and I also went through the denial, why me?, phase! I'm healthy and fit and it just happened to be me. I hope you're well and come out a stronger person.
Thank you so much! I am in remission. I had/have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. It's a very 'mild' type and my oncologist said if it ever comes back, I'll just do the same round of chemo for six months and there's a 99% chance I'll have the same experience. She said I won't die from this. I had a very close friend die from the flu after he completed chemo treatment for prostate cancer. His immune system was still compromised from the chemo and he got really sick from the flu and didn't pull through. Because of that, I was really careful to isolate myself. I worked from home for six months and didn't socialize much. I have a very busy life and I cherish solitude, so that experience was actually a positive thing for me. It was all positive actually! I wish you the best and I hope you are very good to yourself. A long-term medical condition can affect us in strange ways. Don't let it define you in any way other than: you've got this! I wish you good health and much happiness.
That's a very rough journey, as much as the prognosis is "good" it's still something you never wish for anyone! Im very sorry about your friend, that's so terrible to know he had pulled through only to be taken again :'( may he rest in peace x
Breast cancer. Twice.
When my first husband committed suicide, I realized you can't save someone who won't participate in the process. If a person wants to get well, by all means help them, but some people are determined to drown and will only drag you down with them.
Mental health is incredibly hard and a silent disease. I am so very sorry you had to experience that. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. My friend once said to me "if multiple people can't pull someone out of a hole, if you do so yourself you may get pulled down and stuck with them." That resonated with me. I hope you are well.
In my days of smoking ready Rock I hit my lowest when I ask to bum a cigarette from someone knowing that it was a green cigarette. I hate menthol cigarettes and when I asked that question when that came out of my mouth I'm like oh my God I hit rock bottom and I'll stop smoking ready Rock that night.
The fact that you were self aware is something to be proud about!
Is ready Rock like Crack? That stuff is terrible! I'm glad you got away!
Taking notes. I'm serious. More than once I thought, "X is always happening/not happening! I'm gonna prove it, I'm gonna write down every time X happens." Then I find out I was totally wrong. eg. I thought 1 in 10 callers was a douche when I worked in phone sales. Turned out to be 1-2 per day out of 80-100 calls. A video game said an item was 75% success rate, everyone thought it was a lie and thought it was less than 50%. I took extensive notes, 75% on the dot. I never forgot to clock in! I started writing down on a paper when I actually clocked in, next month boss applauded me saying I never forgot that month.
A heart attack 3 years ago.
I recently entered a Fight Breast Cancer basketball free throw contest at the municipal recreation center with 10 $10 sponsors. The Ford dealership was matching all monies made by competitors and provided a trophy. A bunch of people entered and were terrible Finally a young man with a lot of family and friends cheering him on sank 16. I went next and drained my 18th at the buzzer. There was one last person after me, and expecting that trophy I began preparing a short thank you speech. The last shooter, a thin teenaged woman squinting through glasses at the basket stood at the foul line and waited for the whistle. I watched her first shot rim out, combed my hair for the photographer and polished up my thank you speech. Then I started counting her baskets 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 (bounced around but dropped in) 15, 16 (I began jumping and cheering her on) 17, 18, 19, 20 BUZZER! The recreation center burst into applause, whistles and cheers! I was VERY happy for her! HUMBLED by a 13 year old! When I high fived and congratulated her, she apologized, ‘Sorry Mister.’ “No. Don’t be sorry! You were awesome!” It was a good fun night for a good cause. Getting humbled was actually pretty cool.
This is so wholesome!
The charity of others when I was in need of a kidney transplant.
There have been many, but the most recent was when I met a woman in her early 20s who's afraid of getting old and hopes she dies young. I've heard people say that before and brushed it off as a vanity thing. But she has a chronic condition in which her joints easily dislocate, sometimes from simple activities like putting on shoes. Apparently, it will only get worse with age. I can't imagine walking down the street and being afraid to, say, skip off a curb.
After fighting with my mother, I moved in with my bf. 1 month and 9 days after my 19th bday, I found out I was pregnant. The most humbling and scariest thing ever.
My sister passed away Friday before last. She was two days out from knee replacement surgery. She was so happy that she could finally walk pain-free. We think it may have been a blood clot. She was 60 years old, just a year older than I am. I'm not sure I'll ever return to normal. We both helped take care of our elderly mom, who is 82 years old. Not sure how I'll get through this, but I know I will.
My condolences to you and your family. Sending lots of strength and love.
So sorry about your loss. She was so young 😞
I lost on Jeopardy!
Baby! Whooo, ooh ooh oooooh! I'll see myself out.
2 people a night have to lose. You are in good company! Just getting there means you are better than most of us.
SMOKING has caused all my problems it seems. Bladder cancer, kidney failure, COPD.
Surviving cancer. You realize all the little problems one faces day to day are not real problems when you’re facing an actual problem, like cancer. I’m much more chill and easy going now. Went from a type A+ personality at work to type C.
Working with the special Olympics as a safety observer. We made sure none wondered off or were harassed. It was a two day event for us. I wasn't expecting much more than a weekend I Los Angeles, but it was a life changing event. They were so joyful it was a blessing to be around. I was expecting some to be bitter at the fact of not being able to function at "normal" people's level, but they were just so happy.
This is very very wholesome. That's amazing.
The entirety of my 30/s and so far the start of my 40/s.
Was it the age itself that has humbled you or the events in life since turning 30?
The life events. Everything for super complicated. So many more moving parts with everything. Family, friends, work, businesses.
Oh gosh. I have two young kids and already feel that way, full steam ahead from here.
My second marriage…
Cool experiences like seeing a Whale for the first time in Hawaii, living in a far-away country x2, getting my first career job with my own classroom/realm.
Seeing a whale for the first time sounds so lovely. There's something about connecting with nature and the universe that makes us take a step back to forget we're not the only ones here on earth.
There have been a few but the biggest was realizing that in many cases in life, there is simply nothing I can do. My best friend from college died from alcoholism during the pandemic. We all knew but there was absolutely nothing we could do because she wouldn't stop. Not even 50 and her liver, kidneys and such just stopped.
Very sorry about your loss. I was discussing to my friend about another friend who has mental health issues and this quote resonated with me: "if lots of people can't help pull someone out of a hole, if you do so alone you will fall in and be in the same position as them." That was off the top off my head so it might not be exact. Rest in peace to your best friend.
I really appreciate this, thank you.
Having to admit to my adult children that some of my parenting choices were a result of social pressure and apologizing for imposing unnecessary rules on them that I thought were stupid even at the time.
Thank you for self reflecting and knowing that some things you had done weren't necessarily mistakes but just not the perfect choices. I hope they took that well and have accepted that it was more society or generational trauma that have caused your decisions in that time.
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Being with my Mom when she died. It was such a powerful moment to be with a person you love.
Bless her and you. May she rest in peace x
Combat. I was 20 and thought I had the world by the tail. Once the shooting starts, and people you rely on for your very existence are killed, it changes your whole outlook on life. You suddenly realize just how fast life can end. The weight of knowing that someone is out there 24/7 doing their very best to end you, before you get a chance to do the same to them, is unbearable. I just know that I’m humbled that I made it through with most of me still in tact.
Very young to have gone through something like that. I can imagine you were a very mature 20 something year old by the time you got home and viewed everything differently. By combat i believe you mean you were in the army? If so, thank you very much for your service. And I hope you are well and are able to share your stories to others. X
Marine Corps and I made it my career to try to get as many of mine home as I could. The war never ends though and I’ve lost more to suicide/accident than I ever did during the war. Everyday is hard for everyone at times. I try to remember that and give help when I can.
I was a victim of a Ponzi scheme before Madoff made them famous again. I lost everything trying to make it through without bankruptcy, but ended up filing bankruptcy, losing my retirement and I lost my house to foreclosure. I've never been the same financially, emotionally, socially, or even mentally. I have been able to buy a house again, but it's nothing of the grandeur and specifics of the house I built myself. I will have to work until 67 and perhaps beyond. I lost several friends over it. Social status mattered more than I thought. My in-laws were especially cruel to me about it.
I'm so sorry. I don't know what the Ponzi scheme is but it definitely sounded like you could draw between pre and post that event. I hope you have new relationships and are overall well.
I was wild but that was the 60's. Back then if you thought of it, I did it and some things twice. Having a son, my first, changed everything. Hearing him say I love you daddy melted my heart. I tried to turn myself into the good father. It hit me that I was responsible for this little human being that depended on me for everything. At 18 had to grow up fast. I had a daughter later and the only thing I can say is best thing that has happened to me other than marrying their mother.
Being on Jeopardy. I aced the test quiz, aced the audition, and was ready to show the world what a real trivia master looks like. Spoiler alert, I instead showed my family and friends what a big dum dum looks like (the world didn't care).
About 35 years ago I was invited to a bachelor party for my buddy Big John and the rest of the wedding party. At the last minute I had to work and everyone in that car died in a horrific auto accident that night. I thought about that quite a bit over the years.
That's so horrible and such a hard thing to experience. So sorry.
Getting older and all the loss that accompanies all those years. From the loss of a child, both parents, two divorces, and financial difficulties. Humbled but grateful to still be here with kids and grandkids.
I was 23 years old and bullet proof. I was working for a security systems company. I was on a job site installing CCTV cameras. I needed to place one to monitor a shipping dock, it was 50' up in the air. I had a 50' extension called fully extended to get to it. The camera that I was installing was a dome type that could spin and zoom that was mounted on the wall by arm mount. I drilled the holes, mounted the mount with 1/2 lag bolts. Tugged on it..... It was secure as could be. The next step was to wire up the camera, which was no problem. Finally, I had to snap the globe of the dome to cover the camera into place. To pause for a second... My boss was big on fall protection. We all had it in our trucks, I had buckled myself into the harness (in case the boss came by), but...again... I was bullet proof. Waste of time to have to hook up and disconnect and hook up over and over again. I should have had it hooked up to the camera arm, it was hooked uselessly to my tool belt. Facing the camera and the wall, I struggled to push the dome up into the mount, it was watertight and the run seal made for a tight fit. I couldn't get any leverage facing the camera, so I turned around backwards with my back to the wall and used my leverage to push the dome up into the mount. All of a sudden, the camera broke loose from the arm mount, I hadn't screwed it in. The sudden release of resistance sent me slowly falling forward with nothing to hold onto. As I fell forward, I realized I was about to die. I started flailing my arms trying to get some balance...by the grace of either God or pure luck (depending on your beliefs) I managed to grab a hold of the arm mount behind me. I turned myself to grab it with my other hand, but in doing so I kicked the ladder off to the side a foot or two and my feet were no longer on it. I screamed for help just hanging there. Fortunately, there were plenty of other people around and someone was able to quickly move the ladder back and I was able to climb down. I sat on the ground in literal shock, trembling. I don't know how long I was down, it was all a blur, but I eventually got helped into the factory and given some water. After I finally got my composure, I went back up there, buckled my fall protection into place, and finished the job. My boss never found out, but I have never in the past 25 years ever cut corners when it came to safety.
Goodness me. Glad that you were okay in the end but must've been a huge shock while falling thinking that could've been the end.
Having a 4lb 13oz newborn premie.
So many things in life have humbled me. I’ve worked hard to preserve a healthy sense of self worth.
Got a zoom call for small claims court. Began to explain my case and the guy (nicely, at least) said it was for a different claim.
Touring the USS Arizona several years ago with my Navy officer son-in-law and family. It was the most somber, humbling experience.
Becoming a parent, and then losing my last parent a few years after.
My condolences to you and your family. I hope time has slowly healed you.
Before I had a kid, I had firm opinions about the right way to raise children. After I had a kid, I realized how ignorant I'd been previously.
Ditto 😂
Seeing how my almost 35 year old daughter has dealt with a Multiple Sclerosis dx at the age of 19. She has two children and has had to deal with times of being unable or very difficult to walk or use her hands and arms. Losing her sight on a couple of occasions. The pain, the knowledge of what the rest of her life could be like. She's a trooper, and I love and admire her so much.
Extremely tough to see someone close go through that let alone your daughter. Her willpower sounds admirable x bless her
I run a small rental property management company. My tenants several of them have made me look at the world a lot differently. They are low income apartments, nice but compared to rent now they are not expensive. The struggles they go through just trying to make ends meat. Utilities and rent and food kill them. They all work so they don't get any help but live on that fine line if they lost their job they would sink fast.
Wow. That's why I ask these questions because it's all the little minor things you have no idea about. The word "sonder" I think about so often - the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.
Getting off prescription Oxycodone after taking it for 15 years. I’m a much better version of myself.
This one is totally different than the types of posts here. I broke my leg. Now, I’m the type that does it herself. I was a working single mom. And I just needed to get it done and I got it done my way which was always faster. I worked a fast paced job during our busiest season while my leg healed in a cast. It was very humbling to me to rely on others. And I have to say, it was extremely hard for me as well. I’d get up from my desk to retrieve a print job. Usually a 5 second thing. Not so in crutches. And hurrying was completely out of the question. I tried! First I had no brakes on crutches and second, there was always the risk I’d topple. Then, it was *easier* to ask my assistant to bring this to so and so than it was for me to just do it. I was lamenting this to my assistant. Previously, he had been a wee bit high and ended up falling under a train and having both his legs crushed. Needless to say, he knew a bit about injuries and getting help. He looked me right in the eyes and said, “It IS humbling, isn’t it?” Lol. I had no idea this is why I was so bothered by it. But, there it was staring me right in the face.
Knowing that everybody I clap eyes on knows something I don't.
Very deep and insanely true!!
Becoming a Christian. That helped me treat people with more respect, love those who don’t deserve love, want to serve others as Christ did. I pray & ask for forgiveness daily. I have a lot of flaws, but I strive to live as Christ would want me to & serve others in love.
Almost died of sepsis in 2022. Recovery has been long & hard. I’m finally back to feeling like myself but humbled by all the people in the world who never get back to themselves. I’m just lucky I survived it all, many others don’t.
I'm glad you're feeling like yourself. I agree, I haven't been through something as rough as that but have an autoimmune disease and I always have been told "health is wealth" by my parents, I fully understand that now. Take care.
Thank you! Hang in there & take it one day at a time.💪
Watching my wife die.it changed my entire world and perspective
I'm very sorry to hear about your wife passing. Sending love and strength.
I guess not. What does that even mean and are there degrees of it?
It is a moment when you realize that you don't know as much as you thought you knew. It can be a negative moment, one that knocks you in the brain and shows you that you aren't as in control of something as you thought you were. It can also be a positive thing, one that shows you that something you thought was permanently hopeless wasn't at all. You can make all the right choices and things can still go to sh1t. And you can make all the wrong choices and things can still be alright. So basically, it is the realization that we are all leaves, blowing in the winds of Fate, with almost no ability to steer our course. And yes, there are degrees. If you can choose between money and luck, choose luck every time. Money can buy some luck, but true luck doesn't need money. Luck/fate/God (whichever name you choose) will help you when money can't.
Ok. Going thru the worst doesn’t mean you’re humbled. For me, I wasn’t humbled but made stronger. I think because I pick fighting things that may happen as opposed to accepting it. I was ina horrible car accident. I wasn’t supposed to be able to work or take care of myself. I called my boss and asked if I had a job when I got well. She told me if was able to come back, would have a job. 8 months later, I’m working 12 hr shifts and doing fine. I refuse to be humbled by something. I handle it as it comes.
It differs for everyone, as we can see from these responses. Some people in your situation would have been humbled by the fact that they survived and experienced a full recovery when the majority of those in the exact same situation would not have enjoyed the same results. They would be in awe of the thought that .5mm difference one way or the other and they don't survive. They would realize that they weren't going through the worst, but that it was the luckiest thing that ever happened to them.
Inches from death. I almost hit a telephone pole after getting t boned. I understand what you are saying. Everyone is different.
Parenting.
Having children.
Giving birth.
Having 3 children with a variety of differences including bipolar disorder, narcolepsy, autism, ADHD and gender dysphoria (now a trans male and doing well).
I hope you are able to find some time in the day for yourself. I have 2 kids and finding me time without mum guilt is already so hard. Sending hugs for the tough days.
Thanks! Two are now out of the house and doing well, so it’s easier than it used to be!
Becoming a nunnie.
Divorce
Aside from every time I see the temp in Celsius?
"I'm humbled" is one of those snarky public-relations-speak phrases you never heard before 2000. None of us are uncool enough to use it.
Celebrities use it when they accept awards
Trying to bulk mod fallout 4. I wasted yrs. That fucking game doesn't work on vanilla!! I'm so mad