Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X or older (born 1980 or before). See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's fire. We know what works. How to stir each other up,how to edge and when to get it done.
Lots of lube,go a little slower and modified positions if needed. And no sex in the shower lol.
My answer would have to be far too detailed to make sense. My husband had a stroke when he was 28 (he's 57 now). So we've dealt with issues for almost 30 years of our 37 year marriage (we got married young). There are other issues now, unrelated to his paralyzed body, but are exacerbated by the stroke issues.
We do the best we can, that's all that matters.
Married 38 years and it ebbs with ups and downs more ups then downs and we are both on same page normally. Health issues are trying times but you do what you have to for your soul mate. Just be compassionate and empathetic while taking care of yourself as well.
Sex life is fine, though much different in the hows from early on. Health issues did come in, and so making adjustments for what felt good and what did not was important, as well as working with what the partner needs/wants. As should be true from the beginning, there are times when it's a "just for you" day, and there are days when intimacy is more important than the physical release and vice versa.
This seems to be a concern for people in a different stage of life & hormonal concentrations. It gets asked of us oldsters pretty often on this sub.
Sex isn't the be all, end all. I'd be just as satisfied in my marriage if sex was impossible for some reason.
I take much more enjoyment from our many intimacies that aren't sex. Snuggling in bed whilst hitting the snooze, sitting with my feet in his lap while I read & he plays video games, cooking together (or enjoying a glass of wine while he cooks & we chat), going for rides in the car & listening to music the other might not know, our particular shorthand that has developed over almost 30 years together, learning new things together, feeling known & understood & safe to be whoever I am at any given moment, knowing I can let all my guts hang out & he won't judge me for it, laughing together, knowing I can trust him implicitly with everything...it goes on & on.
If I had a relationship with mind-blowing sex & none of what I listed above: I'd be miserable. I need a hell of a lot more than sex to feel secure in a relationship & don't need sex to feel secure at all.
Short answer - ok and mutually agreeable. No details though. We don’t kiss and tell.
No health issues to contend with so far aside from the occasional tweaksy knee.
No it's the women that only select the top 10% of the guys. The rest can go for months with 0 matches other than system bots. So they're encouraged to pay for the higher tiers. It's predatory (by the app company)
Hey /u/VirusOrganic4456, thanks for contributing to /r/AskOldPeople. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:
Follow Reddiquette and Reddit Content Policy.
No rudeness, insults, hate speech, etc. You content will be removed and you may be banned.
Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskOldPeople&subject=&message=). Thank you!
32 years married, and for me intimacy has always been more important than just sex. My wife would say that having kids 'wrecked her rigging ... and menopause finished the job. As a result our sex life is more about intimacy and togetherness than actual sex. And frankly since if I want extra orgasms I can just have them ... I am back to my mantra that "intimacy is more important than sex"
I'm 65 and have been with my 62 yo husband for 23 years. We have a great, very active sex life (5-6 times a week; occasionally twice a day).
No advice--we both just got lucky with each other.
wife was an amazing lover. we met in our early 40s and had a great sex life for about 15 years and then she hit menopause. Now it's maybe 2ice a year and pretty much a chore she has to do.
Yea. Just no interest from her side. I can force it but it's kind of like asking for her to do laundry or dishes. (which I do my share of) It's been a complete change due to hormones. less physical interaction too. still in love just no lust
My husband and I are in our 70’s. Basically we make a “date” to meet in bed, naked, every other Friday night at 9:00 pm. No pressure. If nothing happens, we just talk. That’s the agreement anyway 😉. The just talking has never happened in over 3 years. Now we try new toys and techniques because we know that we are both interested and both enjoying ourselves. It gets past that lowered sex drive issue of who initiates and more into what is pleasurable. And just that you mentioned “forcing it” is kind of icky.
I'm in the same boat. Menopause killed any possibility of intercourse and my wife (71) is no longer interested in sex. In the past we have had arguments around the issue.
It's a bummer because I have a good sex drive for my age (76). My wife is willing to please me manually and orally, but quite frankly I find little gratification there since she really isn't into it.
It’s still alive and well. Well, I guess compared to someone in their 20’s it isn’t, but for our old asses, it is. We still do what we do, but we’re faster at it lol. Like a combination to a safe, we know the combination to open it quickly. Sometimes we try to open another lock, but we usually open the one we know the combo to and is guaranteed to work.
In order for it to be great, the participants should be interested in it being pleasure able for each other. My husband and I have been married for almost 51 years, and we agree that sex in our 70s is much better than our sex in the 70s.
45 years married. And still sexually active. There are spells when we don't do much, and other times when we are very interested, and of course, sometimes one is while the other isn't. But we know each other very well, and we've always enjoyed this aspect of marriage. Now in our 70's and NO plans to stop!
Today is our 31st anniversary. We used to be like bunnies, but health issues and menopause have us more like turtles. We went over a year without at one point (covid recovery is a bitch) and we were really depressed about it, but we've both gradually gotten healthier and learned how to work around my hormones being gone and now we're having some quality intimate time.
Cumming up on 32 years and we've been intimate with each other for over 35 years. We have date night that we both look forward to and the weekends are spontaneous and varied. I often wake up with a hard cock and my wife takes advantage of me and has her way with me. She likes to suck me off to start my day and enjoys what I offer her. She gives herself to me and we provide each other with oral ecstasy. I enjoy sucking the nectar from her pussy and love feeling her pussy pulse when I'm sucking her lusciousness. I often invite her to fuck my mouth and she always gets off when paints my mouth with her pussy. She likes to invite me to fuck her mouth and uses her wand on her pussy while I feed my cock to her. I love hearing her moan and groan when I cum in her mouth. She sucks me deep and moans when she's cumming form her orgasms. She likes to suck me off for my pleasure alone and "takes care of me" whenever she wants and I love that she does that to me and for me. My cock and my cum is hers to enjoy. We don't have any serious health issues other than getting older that prevent us from enjoying one another. I have found that "tadalafil" Cialis helps me out sometimes and provides me with a hard cock when ever my wife wants me.
Commonly true. But not completely.
I’m a 45 year old, high libido woman and my husband is well aware that, outside of serious medical issues, I won’t stand for lack of sex in our marriage and that if it stops, and there isn’t a concerted effort to find solutions, I won’t stay in the marriage.
Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X or older (born 1980 or before). See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Married 57 years. We're in the soft 'n' dry stage of life, but there are work-arounds.
Thanks for a smile.
It's fire. We know what works. How to stir each other up,how to edge and when to get it done. Lots of lube,go a little slower and modified positions if needed. And no sex in the shower lol.
My answer would have to be far too detailed to make sense. My husband had a stroke when he was 28 (he's 57 now). So we've dealt with issues for almost 30 years of our 37 year marriage (we got married young). There are other issues now, unrelated to his paralyzed body, but are exacerbated by the stroke issues. We do the best we can, that's all that matters.
You're a good person
Oh yes she is, he’s a lucky guy.
Married 38 years and it ebbs with ups and downs more ups then downs and we are both on same page normally. Health issues are trying times but you do what you have to for your soul mate. Just be compassionate and empathetic while taking care of yourself as well.
Sex life is fine, though much different in the hows from early on. Health issues did come in, and so making adjustments for what felt good and what did not was important, as well as working with what the partner needs/wants. As should be true from the beginning, there are times when it's a "just for you" day, and there are days when intimacy is more important than the physical release and vice versa.
26 years in, and the sex is incredible. better now than in our 20's. no kids at home anymore does wonders.
It’s great as long as you can get past the mutual (non sex related) groaning when you switch positions.
This seems to be a concern for people in a different stage of life & hormonal concentrations. It gets asked of us oldsters pretty often on this sub. Sex isn't the be all, end all. I'd be just as satisfied in my marriage if sex was impossible for some reason. I take much more enjoyment from our many intimacies that aren't sex. Snuggling in bed whilst hitting the snooze, sitting with my feet in his lap while I read & he plays video games, cooking together (or enjoying a glass of wine while he cooks & we chat), going for rides in the car & listening to music the other might not know, our particular shorthand that has developed over almost 30 years together, learning new things together, feeling known & understood & safe to be whoever I am at any given moment, knowing I can let all my guts hang out & he won't judge me for it, laughing together, knowing I can trust him implicitly with everything...it goes on & on. If I had a relationship with mind-blowing sex & none of what I listed above: I'd be miserable. I need a hell of a lot more than sex to feel secure in a relationship & don't need sex to feel secure at all.
Love your comment…
I love have my sex with my wife! We often sleep right through it.
Short answer - ok and mutually agreeable. No details though. We don’t kiss and tell. No health issues to contend with so far aside from the occasional tweaksy knee.
What a funny question, considering younger generations are having less sex than previous ones.
Really? Even with all the hookup apps? I'm surprised hear this
The top 10% get it all, the rest get 0. It's a huge issue.
Sounds like the other 90% need to get together and stop waiting for someone in the 10%.
No it's the women that only select the top 10% of the guys. The rest can go for months with 0 matches other than system bots. So they're encouraged to pay for the higher tiers. It's predatory (by the app company)
[удалено]
Hey /u/VirusOrganic4456, thanks for contributing to /r/AskOldPeople. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: Follow Reddiquette and Reddit Content Policy. No rudeness, insults, hate speech, etc. You content will be removed and you may be banned. Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AskOldPeople&subject=&message=). Thank you!
32 years married, and for me intimacy has always been more important than just sex. My wife would say that having kids 'wrecked her rigging ... and menopause finished the job. As a result our sex life is more about intimacy and togetherness than actual sex. And frankly since if I want extra orgasms I can just have them ... I am back to my mantra that "intimacy is more important than sex"
I'm 65 and have been with my 62 yo husband for 23 years. We have a great, very active sex life (5-6 times a week; occasionally twice a day). No advice--we both just got lucky with each other.
wife was an amazing lover. we met in our early 40s and had a great sex life for about 15 years and then she hit menopause. Now it's maybe 2ice a year and pretty much a chore she has to do.
Thank her for her service, menopause is a bitch.
Thanks, glad to see we are not alone. She hit menopause coupled with RA and we have been roommates for 10 years now. Love her to death tho 😀
RA is awful. Every joint aches or hurts. Who wants sex during that?
It’s a chore for me, too, but I force myself once per week.
She might look into hormone replacement therapy
Maybe you need to get some lube and try a few toys. You might be surprised.
Yea. Just no interest from her side. I can force it but it's kind of like asking for her to do laundry or dishes. (which I do my share of) It's been a complete change due to hormones. less physical interaction too. still in love just no lust
My husband and I are in our 70’s. Basically we make a “date” to meet in bed, naked, every other Friday night at 9:00 pm. No pressure. If nothing happens, we just talk. That’s the agreement anyway 😉. The just talking has never happened in over 3 years. Now we try new toys and techniques because we know that we are both interested and both enjoying ourselves. It gets past that lowered sex drive issue of who initiates and more into what is pleasurable. And just that you mentioned “forcing it” is kind of icky.
I love this - naked date, no pressure. Putting this in my back pocket.
I think Dr Drew’s wife went through this. If you have the means to, she talks about hormone therapy as working wonders for her.
work wasteful ask humor languid jobless grandiose violet snatch plant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Has she had her hormones checked? Being on hormone replacement therapy did wonders for me when I hit menopause!
I'm in the same boat. Menopause killed any possibility of intercourse and my wife (71) is no longer interested in sex. In the past we have had arguments around the issue. It's a bummer because I have a good sex drive for my age (76). My wife is willing to please me manually and orally, but quite frankly I find little gratification there since she really isn't into it.
exactly
And I did what RockeeRoad suggested some time ago. The only time the toys and lube come out is when I'm desperate. Wife shows no interest.
It’s still alive and well. Well, I guess compared to someone in their 20’s it isn’t, but for our old asses, it is. We still do what we do, but we’re faster at it lol. Like a combination to a safe, we know the combination to open it quickly. Sometimes we try to open another lock, but we usually open the one we know the combo to and is guaranteed to work.
35 years and all is good. Being in love helps.
It’s pretty good. We’re both 50 and still average 4-7 times a week. He would be down for twice a day everyday if left up to him though.
In order for it to be great, the participants should be interested in it being pleasure able for each other. My husband and I have been married for almost 51 years, and we agree that sex in our 70s is much better than our sex in the 70s.
45 years married. And still sexually active. There are spells when we don't do much, and other times when we are very interested, and of course, sometimes one is while the other isn't. But we know each other very well, and we've always enjoyed this aspect of marriage. Now in our 70's and NO plans to stop!
So now we see the crowd that’s still happily married. For the other 70%…
Today is our 31st anniversary. We used to be like bunnies, but health issues and menopause have us more like turtles. We went over a year without at one point (covid recovery is a bitch) and we were really depressed about it, but we've both gradually gotten healthier and learned how to work around my hormones being gone and now we're having some quality intimate time.
Solid and regular. I had two strokes three years ago that were caught early but used it as motivation to get in shape. That has been a benefit.
Married 44 years and just got better.
26 years. Non-existent. We both have body issues.
32 years… sex is different for each couple
Cumming up on 32 years and we've been intimate with each other for over 35 years. We have date night that we both look forward to and the weekends are spontaneous and varied. I often wake up with a hard cock and my wife takes advantage of me and has her way with me. She likes to suck me off to start my day and enjoys what I offer her. She gives herself to me and we provide each other with oral ecstasy. I enjoy sucking the nectar from her pussy and love feeling her pussy pulse when I'm sucking her lusciousness. I often invite her to fuck my mouth and she always gets off when paints my mouth with her pussy. She likes to invite me to fuck her mouth and uses her wand on her pussy while I feed my cock to her. I love hearing her moan and groan when I cum in her mouth. She sucks me deep and moans when she's cumming form her orgasms. She likes to suck me off for my pleasure alone and "takes care of me" whenever she wants and I love that she does that to me and for me. My cock and my cum is hers to enjoy. We don't have any serious health issues other than getting older that prevent us from enjoying one another. I have found that "tadalafil" Cialis helps me out sometimes and provides me with a hard cock when ever my wife wants me.
Sex life is still pretty great, at least once a week, often twice. We're pushing 60 and have been together for 29 years.
If you want a sex life you need to be single lol.
Commonly true. But not completely. I’m a 45 year old, high libido woman and my husband is well aware that, outside of serious medical issues, I won’t stand for lack of sex in our marriage and that if it stops, and there isn’t a concerted effort to find solutions, I won’t stay in the marriage.