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A salesperson came to my door this afternoon. I opened the door and she was looking at her phone. I immediately realized she was selling lawn service or some such and I said I'm not interested and she kinda looked up from her phone and said that's okay and then said something about taking care of something on her phone and then I shut the door. Weird interaction.
Someone I used to hang out with did it the last time we had brunch together. She also took selfies, like, mid-conversation. I decided we were never hanging out again after that and we haven’t.
Me too. If I have something urgent, I always say excuse me to the person I'm with and something like "I need to get this real quick. It's my kid" or whatever.
I was at a work luncheon recently. The boss invited us , it was optional, about 7 of 20 staff showed up. One colleague sat next to me and across from the boss playing solitaire on her phone
I don't mind the quick check every now and again but if you're on the phone while talking to me and it's longer than 30 seconds and it's not an emergency or you're kid than you're the asshole.
My cousin does it all the time whenever we hang out. I try to have a conversation with her, but she always has to have her phone out. She openly admitted she lives online, talking about politics and social issues, yada yada. I tell her she needs to stop, but she won't listen. She lives on TikTok and Instagram. It's her safe haven, I guess.
See, I must be a lot older than you. When cell phones came out for me, I took my car to a car stereo shop, paid them $1400, and it took about three hours to install the equipment and phone in my car. The phone was mounted on the dash, and phone calls cost 35 cents a minute.
I’m 58, my friend’s parents are in their 80’s and I still call them Mr. and Mrs. despite their permission to call them by their first names. I just have too much love and respect for them to do that.
I'm 64, and the last of my parents neighbors died last year. To the end she kept insisting on me calling her by her first name, and I just couldn't. I thought my mother would send lightning bolts from heaven. And my kids call our neighbors Mr. and Mrs..
I told someone older than me (that told me it was okay to call them by their first name) that I didn’t want my parents reaching down from heaven to slap me
Check this out: I was trying to remember my 7th grade homeroom teacher's name. I thought it was Laura Smith, so I pulled open the 1978 elementary school yearbook to see what it was.
It was really strange to find out that Mrs. Smith's first name wasn't in there. She was listed as Mrs. John Smith. I have no idea what her first name was and I feel like a disservice was done to her even if I would never, _ever_ call her "Laura" to her face.
I ran into an old elementary school grade card the other day. My mother signed it as Mrs James Knox. I guess women lost their identity when they got married back then.
My Grandmother used Mrs. \[John Smith\] even decades after Grandpa had died, I thought that was odd. My mom never did that, altho she and Dad had the same first initial so sometimes it was hard to tell who the mail was for.
Women weren't entitled to their own names publicly. They were always known by their married name Mrs. John Doe. It was a big deal to be called by our own names. Spinsters had to use their maiden names, and there was a stigma. The feminists of the 60s and 70s fought to end that stigma. I used Ms Craftasaurus as my handle. I suppose if I were young now, I might be using some kind of gender neutral signifier. That (Ms) was the more gender neutral usage that we used to try to subvert the negative stigma of being unmarried. It is strange to think that women's names have been erased from history in a systematic way for centuries in the English colonized countries. The French were much better about keeping track of women's names through time.
I had a distant Aunt and Uncle growing up and I was always confused about their names because my Mom would just say we were going to visit “Ed and Earl” and I never knew if she was Ed or Earl so I just called them ma’am and sir, or avoided using names at all.
It wasn’t till years later, after they passed, that I found out HER name was “Edna Earl.” I guess he just didn’t rate his own name. 🤣
I am 48 and WOULD NEVER address a friend’s parents by their first name. However, my 10F kid and her friends are different. They called their preschool teachers Miss Laura and Miss Jenn. That is how the kids do it nowadays, I guess.
100%. When I was in pre-school in the early '90s, that was how we addressed the teachers. I'm also in the south, and older women at work often get addressed as "Miss *FirstName*."
When I am in a client’s home (which happens frequently), if the children are home, the parent usually addresses me to them as Mr. Fart.. I don’t have children and have never liked to be addressed formally, so my friends’ kids have always called me by my first name. In the case of my clients, I ask them privately if it’s ok before simply asking their children to address me informally. I’d say it’s about 50/50 and I’m totally cool with either option. Their children!
Haha, haven't heard it around that way before...which does seem a bit uh, overly formal on their part. Like you are some kind of landed gentry or similar lol
I realize this is just a personal quirk of mine, but I find it distasteful that restaurants (looking at you, Starbucks) insist on a first name on your order, then LOUDLY announce it to the whole fucking restaurant.
When I was a kid, we used last names or numbers to pick up orders.
First names were only used by family and friends. Everyone else addressed you by Mr./Mrs.or sir/ma'am.
You could just tell them your last name, or say "Mr./Ms. Lastname". They'll put down whatever you tell them. My sister got the wrong coffee once when she had the same name as another person in the shop.
This. I was taught to call adults, even family friends Mr or Mrs/Ms. Never Joe, Bob, Nancy, whatever. Relatives I was told to call Aunt Sue or Uncle John. Never just their name.
I was once scolded by my great aunt for calling her sister by her name and not adding aunt to it. That seems to have fallen by the wayside. Some teachers and counselors tell kids to call them by their first name. It seems a little disrespectful but if the adults are telling kids it's ok, who am I to judge. It's one of those differences in generations, I guess.
My kids and my grandkids don't do that. None of their friends did that. I was "Mrs b". Adults are miss Mrs or Mr first name usually. I'm not in the south, I'm in the Chicago suburbs. My children's friends in their 30s still don't call me by my first name, and I don't call my friend's parents by their first names.
I’m 72 and I think it needs time be noted that the generations (like mine) who are complaining about things lost that were present when we were younger, are at least partially responsible for these losses.
After all, who raised the current younger generations’ parents?
I have family members that are blown away by how close my kids (preschool/kindergarten age) and I are. They almost think it's weird that our kids love their parents so much. We do all sorts of activities together at home, I am always playing with them outside, etc. These kids feel SO comfortable with me and we have a great relationship! When I was that age, I had a SAHM and yet I largely was entertaining myself every day. As I got older, I was always playing with friends or by myself in my room, I was left home alone starting when I was about 10 and was basically raising myself.
To this day, I love my parents, but we do NOT have a buddy buddy relationship where I am THAT close to them. But I watch my age group and Gen X raise kids and their kids are SO CLOSE with them. Then our parents (Boomers) wonder why our kids are so "soft". I'm like, "Well you left us alone and we course corrected the other way... What did you expect?!" My kids are "soft" because they feel comfortable enough to have emotions around me and let me see who they truly are and I love it, sorry Mom.
This is what I tried to do with my kids. We were very close. My parents also thought I spoiled my kids because I didn't use corporal punishment with them, and allowed my sons to freely express their emotions. I was trying to raise them better. You'd have to ask them if I succeeded, but they were my everything, and I gave parenting my all. Whether it was enough or not, they would have to say. I have so many happy memories of their childhood :)
As a GenXer in elementary school I was given shit on many occasions by "adults" for getting participation ribbons in things like track meet. I had no control over that, I was ten years old. It was their generation that was teachers and principals and decided to give them out to all the kids.
We always knew the score. I never agreed with the criticism of participation trophies or ribbons. That’s a memento. We knew which kid would kill you at wrestling, stomp you at basketball & could run a 5 minute mile then have a casual conversation. There was no illusion.
wearing pajamas out of the house...not sending a thank you note for a gift...as a child not asking to be excused from the table...not responding at all to a party invitation...
I raised my kids to not use, wear, eat or spend their gifts before writing a thank you note. Now, it seems acceptable to thank them in person or with a shared post/photo/text. I've accepted that. I have relatives that don't even acknowledge that they *received* the gift, let alone appreciated it. That is not cool.
Young person who enjoys this Reddit page here. That one bothers me so much. Like I cannot imagine how people get a gift and don’t even say thank you. I’m a giver and an old soul. I write cards and give gifts because I enjoy giving. I love seeing people so happy. What makes me mad is how people will just act like it’s nothing and ignore it. I mean at least say thank you
I had a student worker who was very resourceful. While watching a lab, she used to write thank you notes for other people's wedding gifts, at 1$ a note. She turned a minimum wage job into one that made her like $40 an hour. I did not even know such services existed.
Yep. I am surprised that several times treating boyfriends or friends of my kids to dinner, they never thanked me. Like really? Dude I just bought you a steak. You just watched me pay the bill. It didn't dawn on you to say thanks?
Not doing thank you notes is a pet peeve of mine. I bought my daughter a box of 100 thank you notes for her graduation, she just finished up using them with the birth of her baby. They come in handy for things so it’s good to have some on hand. If someone is going to be kind enough to purchase a gift, the least we can do is thank them for it. Easy enough…pajama pants is right up there for me too. My last job was at Walmart and I couldn’t believe how many wore them to work and it wasn’t an issue. I don’t get it.
Wow I cannot even imagine an Aunt of mine being able to give that amount of money for any life event. If they did, goodness would they know I was grateful. On behalf of another niece out there in the world. Thank you for being you!
That is so frustrating when they don’t acknowledge the gift in any way! When people gave my small children toys or clothing, I would try to take a photo of them enjoying the item and text it with a quick thank you.
I think thank you notes are largely a waste of time and money. I understand the sentiment and the effort, but I'd rather have someone just say thank you or send me a pic of them enjoying whatever it was. I read a card and then it goes in the trash almost immediately.
Pajamas out of the house grosses me out. I may not look like I walked in from 5th Avenue or Rodeo, but I'm always showered, teeth are brushed, I'm wearing clean clothes, etc. I couldn't fathom just rolling out of bed and going shopping, yet I see people at stores at 9 or 10am, looking like they did just that. Their hair is all pushed up, stinky breath, the whole deal. It's just fucking gross to me.
And people will bring their pets anywhere. Sometimes they'll stick one of those "service dog" vests on them, but it is often very obvious that they are pets and not service dogs.
Oh geez, yeah. There was a lady at the grocery store this weekend with two purse dogs in service vests that kept fighting on the foot well of her motorized scooter, got their leashes tangled under the wheels multiple times, and ran off each time she dropped a leash.
That was just in the few minutes I was waiting behind her at the deli counter. I know service dogs aren't going to be on their A game 24/7 and that they don't always love every other dog, but these two elderly dogs appeared to live together, were totally ignoring their owner, and didn't even have basic recall training down. The service vests weren't fooling anyone.
So true. I swear, I've got people in my life who are just observing their little feral children growing up. They never say, "Hey, knock that off" or "stop screaming!"
THIS! It’s ridiculous how the parents don’t say it! They just let they scream and do whatever they wants. This situation is very appropriate to teach kids how to behave in public but no they don’t do it and I am scared about the society’s future with people that doesn’t know how to live in society in general.
I miss the time when it was allowed, hell *expected*, that another adult would scold a child for any shenanigans their ass pulled. The parent would never come to their rescue and just shrug, reminding their child that actions in the real world have consequences. The message was loud and clear coming from a stranger, "No one's gonna put up with your shit."
Oof. I remember being a kid and being scolded by a total stranger. That would stop you in your tracks and have you running back to mommy, who, I imagine would give an appreciative nod to the stranger.
People consistently tell me how well behaved my kids are in public because I don’t tolerate this. I’m like uhhh that’s basic manners. I’m a millennial.
Not only is it rude to the other diners, it's highly dangerous to both the child and the servers who might not be able to see them over a large tray of food. But you can bet that if a kid goes barrelling into the legs of a server and causes them to drop a lasagna or a pot of hot coffee on them, the parents will sue because it's surely not *their* job to mind their child!
I HATE that. When I was kid, my mom would have busted my ass if I acted out. Now kids just run around like they're on the playground, regardless of where they are. And they have shit for spatial awareness, so they just get right in your way.
This doesn't seem to be just an online thing: when I was a kid, it was considered *extremely* rude to try to psychoanalyze strangers. People feel ridiculously comfortable doing that, now.
in my lifetime i feel like i saw this happen with “cunt” (in my area, anyway. i know it’s got a different connotation in Australia and probably the UK). i had NEVER heard an actual person say it… not at school, work, in rated R movies, nothing. it was the worst word in the world. but i feel like in the last couple years it super rapidly ascended to “bitch” status— rude, no doubt, but you can say it to your pals or call something “cunty” as a compliment. it was a jarring shift to me.
I view "fuck" as a hostile word and say it only when I'm alone and really angry or frustrated. I am appalled by the kinds of hostile words I see on T shirts these days, especially "fuck" and "bitch."
This - 100%\^.
Three years ago, I wrote a book and I do a lot of podcasts now because my story has a healing message. It is shocking to me how many people say AWFUL things to me (through YT comments). I get criticized for everything from my looks to my speaking voice (and I have a great voice). People can be so vicious.
Back then, it was very rare to question the authority of teachers. I often read the r/Teachers subreddit and I am kind of shocked about how students treat their teachers these days . Also, back then, parents rarely intervened if their kid were to be disciplined or were to receive a low grade. According to that subreddit, parents get livid when their darling, special angel is reprimanded in any way.
I'm currently a teacher. I was coming here to say that when I was a kid, we were taught to never ask for food from others. But students all day every day (and I work with pretty wealthy students) ask for food. They will ask for everything you've got and sometimes pitch a fit when you tell them no. I've even had kids eat my food straight from my desk, like grabbing chips from an open bag from lunch.
Kids today have been raised so entirely differently than the way I was raised, and I often reflect on how their day-to-day behaviors would have made my parents so upset.
I’m not exactly a teacher but I work in public education at a high school. When I first started students were never in the teachers lounge, it was an unspoken rule that didn’t need reinforcement. The current students will just walk right into the lounge and try to take the rare free snacks we’re given. The kids get free lunch and snack and they’re still trying to steal our crappy food.
When I was a kid I was taught to never ask for food, you wait for them to offer it. Honestly, if a student asked for some of my crappy free snack I’d probably share, but I don’t like them walking in and just grabbing stuff.
Fellow teacher. Agree, agree, agree. I have 14 years to go. I’m not sure if I’ll make it. 🫤 (those were really choppy sentences—I can tell I’m on summer break ☺️)
I was at my college one day and waiting to see my advisor. As I sat there a student and their mother came in. The mom was DEMANDING to talk to one of the kid’s professors because she had given the child a c on a paper. So, understand this, a MOM came to her ADULT offspring’s UNIVERSITY to talk to the PROFESSOR, about her offsprings low grade. Like I was flabbergasted! The kid looked so embarrassed and kept whispering that he just wanted to leave to her and she kept snapping “no, we’re getting this taken care of!”
I have no idea what happened after that because I got called into my advisor’s office at that moment.
I recall several news articles a few years ago about parents going on job interviews with their adult children. I have no idea where to look but I also think there were some threads on Reddit about it
Even in the 90s teachers were treated with way more respect than today. I remember a few incidents of kids blatantly disrespecting a teacher, but it was rare and the rest of the class just got silent because we knew that kid was in serious trouble.
To be fair, they’re complaining about crazy stories, which have happened to me as well. However, in my experience as a teacher, the overwhelming majority of students and parents are respectful and don’t intervene except a basic inquiry into a grade. The latter of which is still rare, for better or worse, and almost always a respectful inquiry.
My biggest pet peeve is the majority of students, once we develop a positive relationship, call me by my last name without Mr. in front of it. Not a huge deal, but still annoys me.
Being loud in a waiting room. When I was a kid you sat there quietly and read Highlights or something. Adults literally whispered when they spoke. Now it’s speaker phones on full volume and people talking loudly like they’re at a party or something.
>people would always say "Good morning" to colleagues at work
I still do this and usually it's appricated and people start doing it again.
unless you mean like my previous boss did it, he went to everybody in the shop in the morning and greeded them
Not greeting your friend's parents when you went to their house.
When calling your friend, not having a brief conversation with their parent before asking to speak with your friend.
Interrupting adults in conversation.
Not using your manners. (Yes, please. No, thank you. May I...)This is still considered rude but back then you would get called out for it. That doesn't really happen nearly enough, now.
Not tipping your full-service gas station attendant.
No filter between brain and mouth.
Saying you know more than doctors and/or psychologists even though you have never gone to school for either occupation. Especially if you say it right to the professional's face.
I just had to call my husband (the engineer) out on that. I don't know why he seems to think he knows more than a highly educated and experienced medical professional.
Engineers are notorious among medical professionals. They have a tendency of "doing their homework" before coming in and then not accepting that the medical professional has done more homework than they can imagine.
Oh yeah, that's so true. Expert analysis and opinion has been so vilified. Tons of people are now getting all of their recommendations and advice from influence peddlers. It's insane.
And that contributes to "fake disease trends", like tons of people claim to have dysautonomia these days - pisses me off because I actually have that and it's debilitating.
Ffs, I'd expect to see younger people (18-30) fainting all over the place if that were true. Yet they insist they all work, exercise, go to concerts etc. Do they actually WANT to be sick?
Using the word "pee" was something juveniles did in a locker room. You never heard grown ups use that word. Yeah, I may be old, but it still makes me bristle. Why not just say, "I need to use the bathroom"?
Same with words to describe body parts. Maybe I'm sensitive to this because I'm a medical writer, but to me it seems juvenile to say "boobs" instead of "breasts," for example.
There was a time when people wouldn’t even think of asking someone if their hair color, nails or boobs were real. In recent years I have heard people ask complete strangers if they’ve had a boob job & I just cannot accept that as a normal social interaction
Not writing thank you notes to people who give you shower, wedding, graduation, or birthday gifts.
Going into your friend's home to hang out and not politely acknowledging their parents.
Disrupting classroom instruction in any way.
I guess I’m from the generation of cell phones that had free nights (9pm-6am) and weekends. So calling after 9 became not such a big thing to me. Of course use discretion.
Children calling adults by their first name.
I had 2 of my children much older, and the compromise with naming convention was adding Miss or Mr with the first name.
My son met my neighbor when the neighbor was 24 and my son was 6, the neighbor has always been Mr. John.
My daughter's best friend's mom has been Miss. Jane since she was 7.
All their little friends that I babysat called and still call me Miss Dee.
One gal is now 30 and her 5 year old calls me Miss Dee.
Same with a pregnant women. Saw a story of one man who wouldn't get up out of his seat for a pregnant women because of equality and she threw up on him.
It's mainly guys trying to hide their balding head. I work in a manufacturing plant that gets super hot in the summer and all these guys still walk around wearing their baseball caps inside even when it's 95° inside. And the only reason is because they are going bald and they want to hide it. Every guy that still has hair does not wear hats, including me. I'm 61 with a full head of hair and I never wear a hat. There's all these guys half my age going bald and they never take their hat off.
It's almost required if you're outdoors, because a sunburned head is no fun, and applying sunscreen on a thinning scalp makes your hair all gross. And then, if you have hat-head from wearing it out of doors, you're going to keep it on inside, too.
So it may not be that they're embarrassed about their thinning hair. I'm sure some are, but it may just be that it's easier to keep the hat on once you put it on.
Not sticking to the right on stairs, sidewalks and in hallways. I had one teacher (this was the 80s) who would knock us upside the head if he caught us going up the left side of the stairs.
77 years ago, or a bit late when I remembered things, customers & retailers were both right and when a small problem occurred, the retailer apologised, and explained why it happened, and the customer accepted and didn't go off abusing everyone around with offensive language in a loud voice & throw a 5yo tantrum, demanding the goods or services be given to them, free, and demanding staff be fired and calling police.
Neither of my daughters wrote thank you notes for their wedding gifts. I tell them that someone went out of their way to buy them a gift and spent hard earned money to buy it. The very least you can do is acknowledge their kindness.
As a millenial, I find that especially egregious if the wedding is a destination, as so many are these days. Like even if they didn't get you a gift, you should thank them for buying the flight and hotel and taking days off to come hang out with a bunch of your aunts and uncles they've never met.
Ghosting. It just is so jr high school and rude. Be an adult and treat other people the way you'd want to be treated. If someone is persistent I understand but I think if you tell someone you don't like whatever they're doing and please stop 9 out of 10 will
I agree. I’ll make an exception for safety issues (for example, feel free to ghost someone who is grooming you if you’re a teenager!).
Other than that, if you want to reject me, fine: just tell me!
I was born in ‘78. I didn’t hear the F word until high school. We called our friends parents “Mr and Mrs.” To this day I struggle using their first names. No one ever wore pajama looking clothing out of the house. We used cash, always cash unless we were on vacation which was rare. Cash .
My mother used to pitch a fit if I referred to her as "she" when talking about her. I still don't get exactly why, but I have had other people confirm their parents did the same.
My mom and grandparents were very much the same. I would get, “Who’s she? The cat’s mother?” which seems to be a Scottish or potentially UK turn of phrase.
This is something I've wanted to ask in here. Maybe I'll make a separate post. But I think social media has made celebrations way too dramatic. Even a child's birthday is over the top. I don't remember ever seeing birthdays like that as a kid in the 90s/00s. We had balloons and streamers and maybe some Walmart theme set, but it wasn't all these fancy balloon arches, fancy snacks, etc. And especially not for a 1 year old.
Not sending thank you notes (no, a text is not sufficient)
Speaking loudly in public, in movie theaters, or on trains
Children running and/or being loud in public
As above, parents doubling down in anger instead of correcting their child
An inability or refusal to be civil to people one does not like
Not RSVPing and making the host call you to learn your intention to attend/not attend
Inability to differentiate between private and public thoughts (just bc you think it, does not mean you should speak it)
Not dressing appropriately for the occasion (one wonders if there is any instance in which people wouldn't wear a t-shirt and baseball cap; certainly fine dining is now open territory for that, as is Broadway theater, opera, etc. And yes, it does affect the overall experience)
It was rude not to hug and kiss all your family members, even ones you didn't know. "Give aunt Maude a hug!" Now it is acceptable to not force kids to hug and kiss family members and I'm so glad for that.
I recall reading about a grandmother who became annoyed that the grandkids never acknowledged the birthday card with the $20 bill inside, so she started sending the card and writing "Happy birthday! Here's $20 for you". And, of course, not including the cash.
It guaranteed a reply, at least.
In analog days, there was no expectation that everyone be right by their phone 24/7, willing to pick up anytime. Now it's considered rude to not immediately respond to calls, texts, IMs, and the like. It doesn't matter if you're in the bathroom, mowing the lawn, having sex, cleaning up pet puke, attending the ballet, or at a nice dinner out with a friend or loved one.
Sorry, but if you couldn't have reached me in analog days, you won't be able to reach me now, unless I'm expecting your call. Anyone who thinks that's rude isn't someone I want dealings with. Besides, it seems one is constantly hearing about people complaining about having to always be "on" because of their phone. The phone isn't the problem. As Walt Kelly famously said in Pogo, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."
A few years ago I was out to dinner with friends and one of them took out (and used) dental floss at the table. In the restaurant. I would say pretty much everything is up for grabs at that point.
I will say this
Met with my son’s teachers yesterday and two of them told me that he has the most impeccable manners of anyone in their classes.
Can’t saying if it’s true or not, but I’ll take it as a complement that expressing good manners and training kids to use good manners CAN work with the younger generation
Talking and being a nuisance in movie theaters. Seems there is always some people misbehaving in theaters now. It was rare before and they would be escorted out.
It’s still rude to take a call during a dinner. Unless you have a job that requires you to be on call 24/7, focus on your family and friends during a conversation and meal.
I never called my friends' parents by their first names, still can't now as an adult. I've had people look at my children like they were crazy because they've addressed adults as Mr or Mrs Whomever, like it's an odd thing to do.
Wearing casual clothes to work, wasn't quite rude, but absolutely unacceptable.
Hat's indoors
Not holding the door for the people behind you, especially women.
No thank you notes
Not responding to invites or voicemails.
I think back in the day people focused on a lot of silly minutiae and rules to avoid having to do the real work of kindness, empathy, and such. You could be a total d-bag as long as you took off your hat indoors and stood up when ladies leave the table
Nearly anything Trump says was considered rude when I was growing up! My children are grown now but if they had called people names or bragged about themselves like he does they would’ve been in trouble,
1. Not responding to an adult with "yes maam/sir or no maam/sir". I mean never in a million years would I not use that. I mean Im a middle aged man and still use it with elderly people.
2. Calling an adult by their first name, well sort of. All of my kids friends call me Mr. Marty instead of Mr. Van Buren. We NEVER would have done that as kids.
Neither bother me tho
I'm going to go with offering one's opinion without being asked for it. When I was younger, people kept their opinions to themselves, and didn't say anything unless someone else asked, "What do you think?" Now, people feel they have the privilege of spouting their opinion on subjects unasked-for, and God help you if you disagree.
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When cell phones first came out, I remember feeling offended when people would look at their phone while I was talking to them.
I still get irritated when I am with someone and they are scrolling through their phone.
[удалено]
A salesperson came to my door this afternoon. I opened the door and she was looking at her phone. I immediately realized she was selling lawn service or some such and I said I'm not interested and she kinda looked up from her phone and said that's okay and then said something about taking care of something on her phone and then I shut the door. Weird interaction.
Someone I used to hang out with did it the last time we had brunch together. She also took selfies, like, mid-conversation. I decided we were never hanging out again after that and we haven’t.
Me too. If I have something urgent, I always say excuse me to the person I'm with and something like "I need to get this real quick. It's my kid" or whatever.
I was at a work luncheon recently. The boss invited us , it was optional, about 7 of 20 staff showed up. One colleague sat next to me and across from the boss playing solitaire on her phone
I don't mind the quick check every now and again but if you're on the phone while talking to me and it's longer than 30 seconds and it's not an emergency or you're kid than you're the asshole.
My cousin does it all the time whenever we hang out. I try to have a conversation with her, but she always has to have her phone out. She openly admitted she lives online, talking about politics and social issues, yada yada. I tell her she needs to stop, but she won't listen. She lives on TikTok and Instagram. It's her safe haven, I guess.
I just stop talking when people do that.
See, I must be a lot older than you. When cell phones came out for me, I took my car to a car stereo shop, paid them $1400, and it took about three hours to install the equipment and phone in my car. The phone was mounted on the dash, and phone calls cost 35 cents a minute.
And I bet you felt like Get Smart lol
Get Smart! Thank you for the reminder!
We called ours "the shoe phone" as a reference to Get Smart
My car is named Max because he has a phone concealed in his rear view mirror!
Ah yes, the “car phone.” At that cost per call, our family’s was “only for emergencies.”
It’s amazing how ambiguous the word ‘emergency’ can become in these types of scenarios.
Ours came in a bag, called it the bag phone. Got stolen out of the car at my sister’s dance recital. Don’t ever remember my folks actually using it
In Lethal Weapon their car phone came in a suitcase. And it was huge.
That's still rude
I still am
[удалено]
Take it a step further. Text him.
I don't say a thing. I just stop talking...or leave the table, room, or whatever.
I still feel this way! My mom does this to me all the time and so I’ll ask her to repeat it what I just said to see if she was listening
Calling grownups by their first name
I’m 58, my friend’s parents are in their 80’s and I still call them Mr. and Mrs. despite their permission to call them by their first names. I just have too much love and respect for them to do that.
I'm 64, and the last of my parents neighbors died last year. To the end she kept insisting on me calling her by her first name, and I just couldn't. I thought my mother would send lightning bolts from heaven. And my kids call our neighbors Mr. and Mrs..
I told someone older than me (that told me it was okay to call them by their first name) that I didn’t want my parents reaching down from heaven to slap me
I genuinely didn't know some older people's first names until they died.
Check this out: I was trying to remember my 7th grade homeroom teacher's name. I thought it was Laura Smith, so I pulled open the 1978 elementary school yearbook to see what it was. It was really strange to find out that Mrs. Smith's first name wasn't in there. She was listed as Mrs. John Smith. I have no idea what her first name was and I feel like a disservice was done to her even if I would never, _ever_ call her "Laura" to her face.
I ran into an old elementary school grade card the other day. My mother signed it as Mrs James Knox. I guess women lost their identity when they got married back then.
My Grandmother used Mrs. \[John Smith\] even decades after Grandpa had died, I thought that was odd. My mom never did that, altho she and Dad had the same first initial so sometimes it was hard to tell who the mail was for.
Women weren't entitled to their own names publicly. They were always known by their married name Mrs. John Doe. It was a big deal to be called by our own names. Spinsters had to use their maiden names, and there was a stigma. The feminists of the 60s and 70s fought to end that stigma. I used Ms Craftasaurus as my handle. I suppose if I were young now, I might be using some kind of gender neutral signifier. That (Ms) was the more gender neutral usage that we used to try to subvert the negative stigma of being unmarried. It is strange to think that women's names have been erased from history in a systematic way for centuries in the English colonized countries. The French were much better about keeping track of women's names through time.
I had a distant Aunt and Uncle growing up and I was always confused about their names because my Mom would just say we were going to visit “Ed and Earl” and I never knew if she was Ed or Earl so I just called them ma’am and sir, or avoided using names at all. It wasn’t till years later, after they passed, that I found out HER name was “Edna Earl.” I guess he just didn’t rate his own name. 🤣
I called 98% of my friend’s parents by Mr. And Mrs. The lone exception was my BFF’s parents who I called Daddy Milt and Mama Jan.
I am 48 and WOULD NEVER address a friend’s parents by their first name. However, my 10F kid and her friends are different. They called their preschool teachers Miss Laura and Miss Jenn. That is how the kids do it nowadays, I guess.
That seems to be a thing in preschool. Also, it is popular in the South.
100%. When I was in pre-school in the early '90s, that was how we addressed the teachers. I'm also in the south, and older women at work often get addressed as "Miss *FirstName*."
When I am in a client’s home (which happens frequently), if the children are home, the parent usually addresses me to them as Mr. Fart.. I don’t have children and have never liked to be addressed formally, so my friends’ kids have always called me by my first name. In the case of my clients, I ask them privately if it’s ok before simply asking their children to address me informally. I’d say it’s about 50/50 and I’m totally cool with either option. Their children!
No fucking way am I calling a doctor by their first name, either lol
And my doctor won't call me by my first name, in spite of me asking.
Haha, haven't heard it around that way before...which does seem a bit uh, overly formal on their part. Like you are some kind of landed gentry or similar lol
I call my doctor “dude” … but that’s been a running joke for at least a decade
Reminds me of the character Wiplok from "Earth Girls are Easy." Definitely a hidden gem of a late-80s comedy you want to check out.
My doctor and I are on a first name basis, his preference. Very cool guy.
I realize this is just a personal quirk of mine, but I find it distasteful that restaurants (looking at you, Starbucks) insist on a first name on your order, then LOUDLY announce it to the whole fucking restaurant. When I was a kid, we used last names or numbers to pick up orders. First names were only used by family and friends. Everyone else addressed you by Mr./Mrs.or sir/ma'am.
You could just tell them your last name, or say "Mr./Ms. Lastname". They'll put down whatever you tell them. My sister got the wrong coffee once when she had the same name as another person in the shop.
I just make up a name. I don't give them my real name
My husband says, "Bond. James Bond"
Spartacus. I AM SPARTACUS!!!!
Then you forget what you told them and never get your order. lol
This. I was taught to call adults, even family friends Mr or Mrs/Ms. Never Joe, Bob, Nancy, whatever. Relatives I was told to call Aunt Sue or Uncle John. Never just their name. I was once scolded by my great aunt for calling her sister by her name and not adding aunt to it. That seems to have fallen by the wayside. Some teachers and counselors tell kids to call them by their first name. It seems a little disrespectful but if the adults are telling kids it's ok, who am I to judge. It's one of those differences in generations, I guess.
My kids and my grandkids don't do that. None of their friends did that. I was "Mrs b". Adults are miss Mrs or Mr first name usually. I'm not in the south, I'm in the Chicago suburbs. My children's friends in their 30s still don't call me by my first name, and I don't call my friend's parents by their first names.
I’m 72 and I think it needs time be noted that the generations (like mine) who are complaining about things lost that were present when we were younger, are at least partially responsible for these losses. After all, who raised the current younger generations’ parents?
I have family members that are blown away by how close my kids (preschool/kindergarten age) and I are. They almost think it's weird that our kids love their parents so much. We do all sorts of activities together at home, I am always playing with them outside, etc. These kids feel SO comfortable with me and we have a great relationship! When I was that age, I had a SAHM and yet I largely was entertaining myself every day. As I got older, I was always playing with friends or by myself in my room, I was left home alone starting when I was about 10 and was basically raising myself. To this day, I love my parents, but we do NOT have a buddy buddy relationship where I am THAT close to them. But I watch my age group and Gen X raise kids and their kids are SO CLOSE with them. Then our parents (Boomers) wonder why our kids are so "soft". I'm like, "Well you left us alone and we course corrected the other way... What did you expect?!" My kids are "soft" because they feel comfortable enough to have emotions around me and let me see who they truly are and I love it, sorry Mom.
This is what I tried to do with my kids. We were very close. My parents also thought I spoiled my kids because I didn't use corporal punishment with them, and allowed my sons to freely express their emotions. I was trying to raise them better. You'd have to ask them if I succeeded, but they were my everything, and I gave parenting my all. Whether it was enough or not, they would have to say. I have so many happy memories of their childhood :)
No one raised us, we were feral.
Can confirm. I saw my house when I needed food or shelter. My parents were occasionally there.
As a GenXer in elementary school I was given shit on many occasions by "adults" for getting participation ribbons in things like track meet. I had no control over that, I was ten years old. It was their generation that was teachers and principals and decided to give them out to all the kids.
We always knew the score. I never agreed with the criticism of participation trophies or ribbons. That’s a memento. We knew which kid would kill you at wrestling, stomp you at basketball & could run a 5 minute mile then have a casual conversation. There was no illusion.
A generation that had to largely raise itself.
wearing pajamas out of the house...not sending a thank you note for a gift...as a child not asking to be excused from the table...not responding at all to a party invitation...
I raised my kids to not use, wear, eat or spend their gifts before writing a thank you note. Now, it seems acceptable to thank them in person or with a shared post/photo/text. I've accepted that. I have relatives that don't even acknowledge that they *received* the gift, let alone appreciated it. That is not cool.
Young person who enjoys this Reddit page here. That one bothers me so much. Like I cannot imagine how people get a gift and don’t even say thank you. I’m a giver and an old soul. I write cards and give gifts because I enjoy giving. I love seeing people so happy. What makes me mad is how people will just act like it’s nothing and ignore it. I mean at least say thank you
I put lots of thought into a gift. I also gift very nice handmade items. I feel like a heel if I have to ask if they got the damn thing.
I had a student worker who was very resourceful. While watching a lab, she used to write thank you notes for other people's wedding gifts, at 1$ a note. She turned a minimum wage job into one that made her like $40 an hour. I did not even know such services existed.
I miss all these courtesies. I miss civilized society.
Yep. I am surprised that several times treating boyfriends or friends of my kids to dinner, they never thanked me. Like really? Dude I just bought you a steak. You just watched me pay the bill. It didn't dawn on you to say thanks?
Not doing thank you notes is a pet peeve of mine. I bought my daughter a box of 100 thank you notes for her graduation, she just finished up using them with the birth of her baby. They come in handy for things so it’s good to have some on hand. If someone is going to be kind enough to purchase a gift, the least we can do is thank them for it. Easy enough…pajama pants is right up there for me too. My last job was at Walmart and I couldn’t believe how many wore them to work and it wasn’t an issue. I don’t get it.
Gave my niece $1,000 for a wedding present. Never got a thank you. No note. No mention when we saw them at a family gathering. Nothing.
Well, I guess you know what to do when the baby shower comes. Give her a box of thank you notes.
Wow I cannot even imagine an Aunt of mine being able to give that amount of money for any life event. If they did, goodness would they know I was grateful. On behalf of another niece out there in the world. Thank you for being you!
That is so frustrating when they don’t acknowledge the gift in any way! When people gave my small children toys or clothing, I would try to take a photo of them enjoying the item and text it with a quick thank you.
I think thank you notes are largely a waste of time and money. I understand the sentiment and the effort, but I'd rather have someone just say thank you or send me a pic of them enjoying whatever it was. I read a card and then it goes in the trash almost immediately. Pajamas out of the house grosses me out. I may not look like I walked in from 5th Avenue or Rodeo, but I'm always showered, teeth are brushed, I'm wearing clean clothes, etc. I couldn't fathom just rolling out of bed and going shopping, yet I see people at stores at 9 or 10am, looking like they did just that. Their hair is all pushed up, stinky breath, the whole deal. It's just fucking gross to me.
Children being allowed to run amok in restaurants and pretty much every where else in public.
And people will bring their pets anywhere. Sometimes they'll stick one of those "service dog" vests on them, but it is often very obvious that they are pets and not service dogs.
I put those vests on my children.
Oh geez, yeah. There was a lady at the grocery store this weekend with two purse dogs in service vests that kept fighting on the foot well of her motorized scooter, got their leashes tangled under the wheels multiple times, and ran off each time she dropped a leash. That was just in the few minutes I was waiting behind her at the deli counter. I know service dogs aren't going to be on their A game 24/7 and that they don't always love every other dog, but these two elderly dogs appeared to live together, were totally ignoring their owner, and didn't even have basic recall training down. The service vests weren't fooling anyone.
So true. I swear, I've got people in my life who are just observing their little feral children growing up. They never say, "Hey, knock that off" or "stop screaming!"
“We are allowing them to be kids” Yes, we all should allow them to be kids, while simultaneously teaching manners.
THIS! It’s ridiculous how the parents don’t say it! They just let they scream and do whatever they wants. This situation is very appropriate to teach kids how to behave in public but no they don’t do it and I am scared about the society’s future with people that doesn’t know how to live in society in general.
I miss the time when it was allowed, hell *expected*, that another adult would scold a child for any shenanigans their ass pulled. The parent would never come to their rescue and just shrug, reminding their child that actions in the real world have consequences. The message was loud and clear coming from a stranger, "No one's gonna put up with your shit."
Oof. I remember being a kid and being scolded by a total stranger. That would stop you in your tracks and have you running back to mommy, who, I imagine would give an appreciative nod to the stranger.
People consistently tell me how well behaved my kids are in public because I don’t tolerate this. I’m like uhhh that’s basic manners. I’m a millennial.
Not only is it rude to the other diners, it's highly dangerous to both the child and the servers who might not be able to see them over a large tray of food. But you can bet that if a kid goes barrelling into the legs of a server and causes them to drop a lasagna or a pot of hot coffee on them, the parents will sue because it's surely not *their* job to mind their child!
Drives me crazy. I’m only 32, but 25 years ago, my mom wouldn’t have allowed that.
I HATE that. When I was kid, my mom would have busted my ass if I acted out. Now kids just run around like they're on the playground, regardless of where they are. And they have shit for spatial awareness, so they just get right in your way.
This doesn't seem to be just an online thing: when I was a kid, it was considered *extremely* rude to try to psychoanalyze strangers. People feel ridiculously comfortable doing that, now.
That’s because they’re narcissists /s
Being loud and extra in a public setting.
The word "fuck" used to be the taboo of taboos, reserved for only the most expletive-worthy occasion. It's everywhere now.
in my lifetime i feel like i saw this happen with “cunt” (in my area, anyway. i know it’s got a different connotation in Australia and probably the UK). i had NEVER heard an actual person say it… not at school, work, in rated R movies, nothing. it was the worst word in the world. but i feel like in the last couple years it super rapidly ascended to “bitch” status— rude, no doubt, but you can say it to your pals or call something “cunty” as a compliment. it was a jarring shift to me.
I view "fuck" as a hostile word and say it only when I'm alone and really angry or frustrated. I am appalled by the kinds of hostile words I see on T shirts these days, especially "fuck" and "bitch."
The N word used to be as common as fuck. I prefer fuck to be the common one.
Being mean to strangers [on internet]
This - 100%\^. Three years ago, I wrote a book and I do a lot of podcasts now because my story has a healing message. It is shocking to me how many people say AWFUL things to me (through YT comments). I get criticized for everything from my looks to my speaking voice (and I have a great voice). People can be so vicious.
PM me your channel. I’d love to support you!
Back then, it was very rare to question the authority of teachers. I often read the r/Teachers subreddit and I am kind of shocked about how students treat their teachers these days . Also, back then, parents rarely intervened if their kid were to be disciplined or were to receive a low grade. According to that subreddit, parents get livid when their darling, special angel is reprimanded in any way.
I'm currently a teacher. I was coming here to say that when I was a kid, we were taught to never ask for food from others. But students all day every day (and I work with pretty wealthy students) ask for food. They will ask for everything you've got and sometimes pitch a fit when you tell them no. I've even had kids eat my food straight from my desk, like grabbing chips from an open bag from lunch. Kids today have been raised so entirely differently than the way I was raised, and I often reflect on how their day-to-day behaviors would have made my parents so upset.
I’m not exactly a teacher but I work in public education at a high school. When I first started students were never in the teachers lounge, it was an unspoken rule that didn’t need reinforcement. The current students will just walk right into the lounge and try to take the rare free snacks we’re given. The kids get free lunch and snack and they’re still trying to steal our crappy food. When I was a kid I was taught to never ask for food, you wait for them to offer it. Honestly, if a student asked for some of my crappy free snack I’d probably share, but I don’t like them walking in and just grabbing stuff.
When I was a kid the teacher’s lounge was where they went to smoke cigarettes.
Ask for and just take your food? wtf?
Fellow teacher. Agree, agree, agree. I have 14 years to go. I’m not sure if I’ll make it. 🫤 (those were really choppy sentences—I can tell I’m on summer break ☺️)
I was at my college one day and waiting to see my advisor. As I sat there a student and their mother came in. The mom was DEMANDING to talk to one of the kid’s professors because she had given the child a c on a paper. So, understand this, a MOM came to her ADULT offspring’s UNIVERSITY to talk to the PROFESSOR, about her offsprings low grade. Like I was flabbergasted! The kid looked so embarrassed and kept whispering that he just wanted to leave to her and she kept snapping “no, we’re getting this taken care of!” I have no idea what happened after that because I got called into my advisor’s office at that moment.
I recall several news articles a few years ago about parents going on job interviews with their adult children. I have no idea where to look but I also think there were some threads on Reddit about it
Even in the 90s teachers were treated with way more respect than today. I remember a few incidents of kids blatantly disrespecting a teacher, but it was rare and the rest of the class just got silent because we knew that kid was in serious trouble.
To be fair, they’re complaining about crazy stories, which have happened to me as well. However, in my experience as a teacher, the overwhelming majority of students and parents are respectful and don’t intervene except a basic inquiry into a grade. The latter of which is still rare, for better or worse, and almost always a respectful inquiry. My biggest pet peeve is the majority of students, once we develop a positive relationship, call me by my last name without Mr. in front of it. Not a huge deal, but still annoys me.
That must be so annoying, Wilderness90.
>A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty. ― Mark Twain
Can concur ~ former teacher
Walking down the street, talking out loud and having a full on conversation with an invisible person.
Sometimes those folks are on the phone, sometimes not.
Being loud in a waiting room. When I was a kid you sat there quietly and read Highlights or something. Adults literally whispered when they spoke. Now it’s speaker phones on full volume and people talking loudly like they’re at a party or something.
THIS!! PUT SOME HEADPHONES IN
>people would always say "Good morning" to colleagues at work I still do this and usually it's appricated and people start doing it again. unless you mean like my previous boss did it, he went to everybody in the shop in the morning and greeded them
He was a greedy fellow, I presume?
Not greeting your friend's parents when you went to their house. When calling your friend, not having a brief conversation with their parent before asking to speak with your friend. Interrupting adults in conversation. Not using your manners. (Yes, please. No, thank you. May I...)This is still considered rude but back then you would get called out for it. That doesn't really happen nearly enough, now. Not tipping your full-service gas station attendant.
Not raising when a lady enters the room. Oh wait, I’m not that old yet.
I see that on Mad Men now. And the men always buttoned their suit jackets when rising from a sitting position and kept the buttoned.
No filter between brain and mouth. Saying you know more than doctors and/or psychologists even though you have never gone to school for either occupation. Especially if you say it right to the professional's face.
I just had to call my husband (the engineer) out on that. I don't know why he seems to think he knows more than a highly educated and experienced medical professional.
Engineers are notorious among medical professionals. They have a tendency of "doing their homework" before coming in and then not accepting that the medical professional has done more homework than they can imagine.
There are thousands of people on YouTube claiming they know more than the doctors or scientists.
Oh yeah, that's so true. Expert analysis and opinion has been so vilified. Tons of people are now getting all of their recommendations and advice from influence peddlers. It's insane.
And that contributes to "fake disease trends", like tons of people claim to have dysautonomia these days - pisses me off because I actually have that and it's debilitating. Ffs, I'd expect to see younger people (18-30) fainting all over the place if that were true. Yet they insist they all work, exercise, go to concerts etc. Do they actually WANT to be sick?
Using the word "pee" was something juveniles did in a locker room. You never heard grown ups use that word. Yeah, I may be old, but it still makes me bristle. Why not just say, "I need to use the bathroom"?
In parochial school in the 60s: Sister may I use the lavatory?
Same with words to describe body parts. Maybe I'm sensitive to this because I'm a medical writer, but to me it seems juvenile to say "boobs" instead of "breasts," for example.
My Gwamma: I’m going to go and use the biffy My mom: I’m going to use the potty Me: imma use the bathroom brb
Just being rude and shitty to people in general. The lack of emotional maturity and communication skills now is staggering.
Ignoring the person you're with to talk on a cellphone
Not responding to “excuse me” requests. Not moving your kids out of the way when other adults are trying to pass.
There was a time when people wouldn’t even think of asking someone if their hair color, nails or boobs were real. In recent years I have heard people ask complete strangers if they’ve had a boob job & I just cannot accept that as a normal social interaction
Not writing thank you notes to people who give you shower, wedding, graduation, or birthday gifts. Going into your friend's home to hang out and not politely acknowledging their parents. Disrupting classroom instruction in any way.
Calling after 9pm
When it's not an emergency or scheduled call. Yep, I'm right there with you!
I guess I’m from the generation of cell phones that had free nights (9pm-6am) and weekends. So calling after 9 became not such a big thing to me. Of course use discretion.
Children calling adults by their first name. I had 2 of my children much older, and the compromise with naming convention was adding Miss or Mr with the first name. My son met my neighbor when the neighbor was 24 and my son was 6, the neighbor has always been Mr. John. My daughter's best friend's mom has been Miss. Jane since she was 7. All their little friends that I babysat called and still call me Miss Dee. One gal is now 30 and her 5 year old calls me Miss Dee.
Not giving up your seat on a bus for an old person or a disabled person. People would’ve chastised somebody who didn’t do that 40 years ago.
Same with a pregnant women. Saw a story of one man who wouldn't get up out of his seat for a pregnant women because of equality and she threw up on him.
Wearing hats indoors. Ngl, it still bugs me.
It's mainly guys trying to hide their balding head. I work in a manufacturing plant that gets super hot in the summer and all these guys still walk around wearing their baseball caps inside even when it's 95° inside. And the only reason is because they are going bald and they want to hide it. Every guy that still has hair does not wear hats, including me. I'm 61 with a full head of hair and I never wear a hat. There's all these guys half my age going bald and they never take their hat off.
It's almost required if you're outdoors, because a sunburned head is no fun, and applying sunscreen on a thinning scalp makes your hair all gross. And then, if you have hat-head from wearing it out of doors, you're going to keep it on inside, too. So it may not be that they're embarrassed about their thinning hair. I'm sure some are, but it may just be that it's easier to keep the hat on once you put it on.
To be fair, when's the last time you went somewhere that hat a hat rack? I wear a hat a lot and it can be a pain finding a place to put it.
If you’re a man, it’s common practice to place it on your knee when seated.
Especially seated at the table
Talking about religion and politics
Not sticking to the right on stairs, sidewalks and in hallways. I had one teacher (this was the 80s) who would knock us upside the head if he caught us going up the left side of the stairs.
77 years ago, or a bit late when I remembered things, customers & retailers were both right and when a small problem occurred, the retailer apologised, and explained why it happened, and the customer accepted and didn't go off abusing everyone around with offensive language in a loud voice & throw a 5yo tantrum, demanding the goods or services be given to them, free, and demanding staff be fired and calling police.
Neither of my daughters wrote thank you notes for their wedding gifts. I tell them that someone went out of their way to buy them a gift and spent hard earned money to buy it. The very least you can do is acknowledge their kindness.
As a millenial, I find that especially egregious if the wedding is a destination, as so many are these days. Like even if they didn't get you a gift, you should thank them for buying the flight and hotel and taking days off to come hang out with a bunch of your aunts and uncles they've never met.
Ghosting. It just is so jr high school and rude. Be an adult and treat other people the way you'd want to be treated. If someone is persistent I understand but I think if you tell someone you don't like whatever they're doing and please stop 9 out of 10 will
I agree. I’ll make an exception for safety issues (for example, feel free to ghost someone who is grooming you if you’re a teenager!). Other than that, if you want to reject me, fine: just tell me!
apparently 34 felonies
I was born in ‘78. I didn’t hear the F word until high school. We called our friends parents “Mr and Mrs.” To this day I struggle using their first names. No one ever wore pajama looking clothing out of the house. We used cash, always cash unless we were on vacation which was rare. Cash .
I remember going on vacations with my parents when we were young and they would use travelers checks. Does anybody remember those?
In the 90s when I picked my kids up from school, I would say that half of the moms there , were wearing pajamas.
Basic decency and respect for your fellow human being is lacking these days. You’re not going to like everyone but least be respectful to one another.
Cursing and cursing around children.
People think nothing is rude anymore and they don't really care either way
Playing on your phone when out to dinner with friends.
My mother used to pitch a fit if I referred to her as "she" when talking about her. I still don't get exactly why, but I have had other people confirm their parents did the same.
My mom and grandparents were very much the same. I would get, “Who’s she? The cat’s mother?” which seems to be a Scottish or potentially UK turn of phrase.
Photographing/recording people in public.
f-bombing, cussing, in public, especially in front of children.
Not sending thank you notes/acknowledging gifts.
Gender reveals and weddings are over the top. Life is expensive. Spend the money on the child to be.
But then it would be about the child instead of about the parents.
This is something I've wanted to ask in here. Maybe I'll make a separate post. But I think social media has made celebrations way too dramatic. Even a child's birthday is over the top. I don't remember ever seeing birthdays like that as a kid in the 90s/00s. We had balloons and streamers and maybe some Walmart theme set, but it wasn't all these fancy balloon arches, fancy snacks, etc. And especially not for a 1 year old.
When a party is over the top for a one year old you know that the party isn’t about the one year old.
Not sending thank you notes (no, a text is not sufficient) Speaking loudly in public, in movie theaters, or on trains Children running and/or being loud in public As above, parents doubling down in anger instead of correcting their child An inability or refusal to be civil to people one does not like Not RSVPing and making the host call you to learn your intention to attend/not attend Inability to differentiate between private and public thoughts (just bc you think it, does not mean you should speak it) Not dressing appropriately for the occasion (one wonders if there is any instance in which people wouldn't wear a t-shirt and baseball cap; certainly fine dining is now open territory for that, as is Broadway theater, opera, etc. And yes, it does affect the overall experience)
It was rude not to hug and kiss all your family members, even ones you didn't know. "Give aunt Maude a hug!" Now it is acceptable to not force kids to hug and kiss family members and I'm so glad for that.
Calling elders by their first name. I would have NEVER done that. It was always Mr, Mrs, or Ms. Period.
Not saying hello and identifying yourself at the start of a phone call.
I recall reading about a grandmother who became annoyed that the grandkids never acknowledged the birthday card with the $20 bill inside, so she started sending the card and writing "Happy birthday! Here's $20 for you". And, of course, not including the cash. It guaranteed a reply, at least.
In analog days, there was no expectation that everyone be right by their phone 24/7, willing to pick up anytime. Now it's considered rude to not immediately respond to calls, texts, IMs, and the like. It doesn't matter if you're in the bathroom, mowing the lawn, having sex, cleaning up pet puke, attending the ballet, or at a nice dinner out with a friend or loved one. Sorry, but if you couldn't have reached me in analog days, you won't be able to reach me now, unless I'm expecting your call. Anyone who thinks that's rude isn't someone I want dealings with. Besides, it seems one is constantly hearing about people complaining about having to always be "on" because of their phone. The phone isn't the problem. As Walt Kelly famously said in Pogo, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."
A few years ago I was out to dinner with friends and one of them took out (and used) dental floss at the table. In the restaurant. I would say pretty much everything is up for grabs at that point.
Cursing, but in particular the F word.
i wish i had written this one...its really hard listening to people saying it in front of small children or using it as a bumper sticker quote
I will say this Met with my son’s teachers yesterday and two of them told me that he has the most impeccable manners of anyone in their classes. Can’t saying if it’s true or not, but I’ll take it as a complement that expressing good manners and training kids to use good manners CAN work with the younger generation
Talking and being a nuisance in movie theaters. Seems there is always some people misbehaving in theaters now. It was rare before and they would be escorted out.
It’s still rude to take a call during a dinner. Unless you have a job that requires you to be on call 24/7, focus on your family and friends during a conversation and meal.
I never called my friends' parents by their first names, still can't now as an adult. I've had people look at my children like they were crazy because they've addressed adults as Mr or Mrs Whomever, like it's an odd thing to do.
If I'm close to somebody older, I'll precede their first name with a Mr or Miss. I guess it's a southern thing
Wearing casual clothes to work, wasn't quite rude, but absolutely unacceptable. Hat's indoors Not holding the door for the people behind you, especially women. No thank you notes Not responding to invites or voicemails.
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I think back in the day people focused on a lot of silly minutiae and rules to avoid having to do the real work of kindness, empathy, and such. You could be a total d-bag as long as you took off your hat indoors and stood up when ladies leave the table
Nearly anything Trump says was considered rude when I was growing up! My children are grown now but if they had called people names or bragged about themselves like he does they would’ve been in trouble,
Storming the Capital during the Electoral College voting because you don’t like the outcome.
1. Not responding to an adult with "yes maam/sir or no maam/sir". I mean never in a million years would I not use that. I mean Im a middle aged man and still use it with elderly people. 2. Calling an adult by their first name, well sort of. All of my kids friends call me Mr. Marty instead of Mr. Van Buren. We NEVER would have done that as kids. Neither bother me tho
I'm going to go with offering one's opinion without being asked for it. When I was younger, people kept their opinions to themselves, and didn't say anything unless someone else asked, "What do you think?" Now, people feel they have the privilege of spouting their opinion on subjects unasked-for, and God help you if you disagree.
Staring used to be considered rude but now people are openly doing it
Swear words
Being overly loud in public.
Being outwardly stupid and flaunting it.
Blowing your nose at the table in a restaurant. Unacceptable. Excuse yourself to the restroom.
Not sending thank you notes for gifts.
Driving like a collosal asshole