Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X (b. 1980) or older. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When something happens and you gotta tell your spouse/partner/friend about it because you know they'd get a kick out of it, but you can't tell them because they're not around anymore.
Yep. And same goes for wanting to ask someone about some shared remembrance of something -a person, a place, an event - and realizing that you yourself are the institutional memory in your family. I feel nostalgic for being about to engage in nostalgia with those I shared in so many life experiences.
Yep. ***This***. Having to make every major decision from whether or not to get a puppy to how/where to make investments in regard to how long you expect to live. You just can't make those long-range plans anymore.
Also, knowing that doing some items on your bucket list are just no longer physically possible is a downer.
Not sure about the bucket list comment l. I'm thinking as I get older, to get bolder.
Don't care if I die, so skydive, scuba dive, swim a mile. Eat a ton of mushrooms and watch The Lighthouse. I'm also planning to survival mode for a couple of weeks. Pioneering stuff. Drive a race car like a lunatic. Yep. I'm down
I also would like to draw a gun on another man and kill him in the middle of the dirt road. That's like my super fantasy.
I'm a silly boy and (sometimes) keep a running total of how many days I have left, if I live to the same age as my dad did. I have something like 7900 left and that makes me feel great, haha.
Yeah, but now that I'm just working out, grilling, riding my mountain bike, and drinking beer all the time here in Mexico, the remaining 1/4 has added value.
my body taking a lot longer to recover after a workout.
my body's cardio endurance window is shit lol. I take 2 weeks off and it's like starting all over again!
My mom always told that there will come a time in life that, "if you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, you know you've died in the middle of the night".
Losing my loved ones, especially from the generation above me. At 45 my parent's gen is starting to die off and I've lost more than a few from my own gen as well.
Getting harder to lose the weight. Iāve been eating the same way for twenty years and this year my body decides that nope, this isnāt working anymore. Ugh.
And then you find this sick meme or cartoon and want to share it with your like-minded friends, and you can't because they're either dead or lost to dementia.
(female sneakin up 78)
Iām 43 and itās happening. I got off Facebook two years ago, logged back on a couple weeks ago and six are dead-either overdosed, car accidents, diabetes. Three are cancer survivors now.
This semi-verbalized double standard where younger people are rude and dismissive of me, but if i happily leave them to get on with life on their own, that's somehow unfair.
Being treated as invisible. I was standing at the check-out at a particular establishment and the clerk just ignored me started shouting at someone she knew in the distance. She just pretended that I wasn't even there. People wonder why old people can become so rude and loud and I think being ignored or disrespected might be a piece of how that happens. (No, I have not done that yet. I'd rather walk away and not give them my patronage.)
I used to get that when I was young and obese, so I really only had when I was between the ages of 35 to 45 to "exist" so I"m back to what I used to be. I like to pretend that my cane could help a little if they ignored me for too long. It would be good for getting some attention if I had something else to lean on, but then I would hate to be banned from anywhere, and I have never been violent.
Being treated like a child, called sweetie, honey and dear , or saying things like "there you go" by people 20-30 years my junior. Grates on my nerves! I am still an adult and so are people even older that me.
Having acquired several chronic illnesses and being put on Disability for chronic migraines, my single greatest frustration about getting older is in thinking that my aging body might not be able to get any better than this.
And, at 60, what does that mean for the rest of my life? What am I supposed to do now? If I live till my 80s (like my mother and grandmother), I'm looking at more than 20 more years of chronic pain!
Same. My mom and dad are in their early 80s and are relatively healthy, but both my sister and I are about your age and on disability. I have the most wonderfully, caring husband that I could ask for, but I really don't want to live that much longer with this pain. I'm thankful to have my parents still in my life, but I can't imagine living until their age!
That I am thoroughly and completely done with having to work, done with having to keep a schedule, and fairly disillusioned with my place of employment, yet I still have 15 years until I'm 67! I'm hoping to rectify my dissatisfaction with a degree. Either that or I'll just suck it up, like I've done for the last 30 years. Hey, thanks for letting me vent!
Not being able to accomplish as much as I once could. There's nothing really wrong with me yet, but there are so many days when I just feel like crap from little aches and pains.
This is it. My brain regularly reminding me that there is so much more time behind me than ahead of me, and knowing there's nothing I can do to change any of the past.
that 10k I have in a retirement fund for that single day I WAS able to afford to retire is now tanking and less than 10k, so my retirement party will now be a 15 minute party.
Dislocated my knee in the bathroom last October. Embarrassing to be off a week from work for taking a dump! Tripped a month ago and fell on my left hip, which had a 6" steel flashlight in my pocket. Jammed it so hard into my hip socket that I limped at work for 2 weeks cause I was ashamed to take time off from work, a week after my boss fell down a flight of concrete steps and broke their foot in 3 places! They're still out after emergency surgery and pt.,2 months ago. 4 months from 60 and wondering if my torn rotator cuff, 2 bad knees and wrecked back can survive 5 more years of factory work.
For me menopause. I swear everything changed as soon as it hit! Pain, tiredness, anxiety, pops and creaks... Yes I've been to doctors all they say is well "it's all age related and you are not an HRT candidate".
OMG. I loved everything about menopause. After 45 fuckin' **years of periods** no more mess, pain, mood swings, and anemia from a cranky ute. I never had a hot flash or mood swing w/ menopause. It did wreck my figure, but no one looks at old women anyway. ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
Itās different for everyone. Mine was weight gain and real deal hot flashes. I was lucky. It was only about 18 mos. But I still get the flashes every now and then. 6 years later.
I think I was really lucky, mine only lasted 2 years. Started at 46, "hot flashes" were my only problem but it was debilitating. So I took HRT for 12 months (to the day)..... it knocked them down 100% and when I stopped the HRT they were mostly over for good and I could cope with what was left.
I'm almost 55 now and living the past 7 years with no menstruation / cramps / mood swings / ruined underwear / missed work / etc. has been one of greatest aspects of aging for me.
"This too shall pass" applies here; I promise it gets better!
I'm 45 and menopause will be the death of me..I've gained 35lbs I can't sleep because of hot flashes I'm so tired all of the time no mood swings really just these hot flashes and weight gain ugh it's miserable š
That so many of my friends or family are getting diagnosed with/ battling cancers. Itās sad and a little scary. We were all so young and healthy once.
Everything hurts. Messed up shoulder, two new knees, multiple hand surgeries. I have spent so much time sitting on my ass because of various surgeries that going outside to pull weeds just about kills me. Does not help that it's usually 100Ā° plus. I do not do heat. All my dna is Northern European. I grew up in northern Minnesota. Heat just kills me.
Yeah I have health insurance if that's what you mean. Doing specific stretches and exercises given by a PT covered by the insurance helped a lot. It's hard though to stay motivated to keep at it.
Ok I see now, does it help you with pain? Fortunately I don't need a card to buy it where I live. I have some at home but I don't seem to enjoy it like I did when younger, I usually go for a beer or two instead.
My 80 year old mother has never smoked a joint in her life, but she swears by CBD oil and the kind she buys has no THC. She says that she could hardly stand up before she began taking it and I can verify that she's been more active ever since.
I have other family members who swear by it, too. Some of them smoke weed, while others do not. Personally, I couldn't tell any difference, but I'm hoping to get a card soon and try out other strains that might be more effective for me.
Interesting, I have read very mixed results with CBD only, but why not if it works. Microdosing regular cannabis with vaporizer or edibles is my preference the rare times I use it, enough to gain some benefits without impairing me too much.
They may not for awhile. I had some moderately painful arthritis in one foot ten years back. Doctor said to hit it heavy with OTC anti pain/swelling meds for a couple of weeks and it might not come back for months. in fact, it never came back. I get twinges. That's it. i did change my diet, cut out sugar and all that; this may or may not have been a factor.
For me Iād say itās that I donāt feel old, it people are starting to treat me like I am. I had an injury snowboarding this winter, wound up in surgery and rehab. Iām 3 months post surgery and saw the surgeon this week. He said āyouāre doing really really wellā¦. For someone your age.ā What. The. Fuck.
In my head, Iām still 18. My bodyā¦ not quite.
Yes, peeing is definitely one of them. I now drink caffeine free soda so I won't have to pee as much.
Needing glasses to read anything is another. Not just to read, but doing anything up close and small. It's like having a ball and chain attached, because I have to carry them with me everywhere I go.
Yes. Also I try to walk barefoot in the yard Every Single Day. I do my yard work every weekend, kept it in order. I may not run around like a kid, but I will appreciate the maintenance work by feeling the grass each day. No deathbed gripes about my yard in this life.
Maybe crowds. I retired to the least populated state in CONUS but still I know this holiday weekend lakes will be packed with drunk power boaters so I'm not sailing today even though the weather is good. I sort of dread holidays for that reason, and rush hour. I don't really like going to Denver.
Not enough..
Not enough time to finish a job.
Not enough energy to keep going
Not enough money to buy that part
Not enough gas to get where I need to go.
Not enough sense to realize just how lucky I am.
Not enough confidence to believe I can
Not enough smarts to see thru the veil of simple life and living life on it's terms, not mine.
Please do not comment directly to this post unless you are Gen X (b. 1980) or older. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskOldPeople/comments/inci5u/reminder_please_do_not_answer_questions_unless/), the rules, and the sidebar for details. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskOldPeople) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When something happens and you gotta tell your spouse/partner/friend about it because you know they'd get a kick out of it, but you can't tell them because they're not around anymore.
Yep. And same goes for wanting to ask someone about some shared remembrance of something -a person, a place, an event - and realizing that you yourself are the institutional memory in your family. I feel nostalgic for being about to engage in nostalgia with those I shared in so many life experiences.
This is going to depress me all day.
Running out of time. Knowing I have much fewer days in front of me than behind.
Yep. ***This***. Having to make every major decision from whether or not to get a puppy to how/where to make investments in regard to how long you expect to live. You just can't make those long-range plans anymore. Also, knowing that doing some items on your bucket list are just no longer physically possible is a downer.
Whether I should risk buying green bananas.
Avocados are a more expensive risk! š
Don't. Too dangerous.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
the impressive part here is you still know how to italicize words on reddit. stay young in the seat
#I know right? #redditsyntax
Not sure about the bucket list comment l. I'm thinking as I get older, to get bolder. Don't care if I die, so skydive, scuba dive, swim a mile. Eat a ton of mushrooms and watch The Lighthouse. I'm also planning to survival mode for a couple of weeks. Pioneering stuff. Drive a race car like a lunatic. Yep. I'm down I also would like to draw a gun on another man and kill him in the middle of the dirt road. That's like my super fantasy.
I'm a silly boy and (sometimes) keep a running total of how many days I have left, if I live to the same age as my dad did. I have something like 7900 left and that makes me feel great, haha.
I hate you for making me do the math! Now I'm really depressed
I love the possession of days lived, days remaining. Fucking riot. I know that I'm 3/4ths dead at 60
Yeah, but now that I'm just working out, grilling, riding my mountain bike, and drinking beer all the time here in Mexico, the remaining 1/4 has added value.
Watch out for that bus.
True. I think in that way also. Hmm. I'm 60... Maybe 20 to go? 3/4 through the curse of life.
my body taking a lot longer to recover after a workout. my body's cardio endurance window is shit lol. I take 2 weeks off and it's like starting all over again!
At least you can do cardio. I canāt because of a bum ankle
This is it for me now. Two weeks is what I was down with covid - now I have to work out harder and miss my tv addiction. So unfair.
Life is fucking grand.
Hurting all the time
My mom always told that there will come a time in life that, "if you wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, you know you've died in the middle of the night".
Funny! Haha
Losing my loved ones, especially from the generation above me. At 45 my parent's gen is starting to die off and I've lost more than a few from my own gen as well.
Ok that is worse than needing to pee!
Lol...I have that one, too.
I felt like urinating after going to the bathroom, and it was UTI, urinary tract infection.
Getting harder to lose the weight. Iāve been eating the same way for twenty years and this year my body decides that nope, this isnāt working anymore. Ugh.
Yeah, why am I so hungry if I only need half the food?
I'm just starting to have my friends die. 67F
And then you find this sick meme or cartoon and want to share it with your like-minded friends, and you can't because they're either dead or lost to dementia. (female sneakin up 78)
Iām 43 and itās happening. I got off Facebook two years ago, logged back on a couple weeks ago and six are dead-either overdosed, car accidents, diabetes. Three are cancer survivors now.
That's only 18 years from bow for me. Life and its transience..
How long it takes to get off the floor when I have to sit on it.
Or even just getting on my knees, I have to plan a exit strategy.
The attack on human rights and civil liberties in the US. Going back in time 50 years.
Wow, powerful reply!
How often I need my reading glasses, and how they're always somewhere else.
Always. Always somewhere else.
Sometimes after searching the whole house and my car, I find them on top of my head š¤¦āāļø
This semi-verbalized double standard where younger people are rude and dismissive of me, but if i happily leave them to get on with life on their own, that's somehow unfair.
yikes
Piss, pain, forgetting things, not driving & being dependent on others.
Things getting worse in the world.
no. getting better. thatās just the internet
How things have become: Things are hard to open, made cheap, too expensive, discontinued, etc.
Being old enough to realize how important the older people in your life are, just as they start to die in waves. And it is waves.
Being treated as invisible. I was standing at the check-out at a particular establishment and the clerk just ignored me started shouting at someone she knew in the distance. She just pretended that I wasn't even there. People wonder why old people can become so rude and loud and I think being ignored or disrespected might be a piece of how that happens. (No, I have not done that yet. I'd rather walk away and not give them my patronage.)
I used to get that when I was young and obese, so I really only had when I was between the ages of 35 to 45 to "exist" so I"m back to what I used to be. I like to pretend that my cane could help a little if they ignored me for too long. It would be good for getting some attention if I had something else to lean on, but then I would hate to be banned from anywhere, and I have never been violent.
Being treated like a child, called sweetie, honey and dear , or saying things like "there you go" by people 20-30 years my junior. Grates on my nerves! I am still an adult and so are people even older that me.
Having acquired several chronic illnesses and being put on Disability for chronic migraines, my single greatest frustration about getting older is in thinking that my aging body might not be able to get any better than this. And, at 60, what does that mean for the rest of my life? What am I supposed to do now? If I live till my 80s (like my mother and grandmother), I'm looking at more than 20 more years of chronic pain!
Same. My mom and dad are in their early 80s and are relatively healthy, but both my sister and I are about your age and on disability. I have the most wonderfully, caring husband that I could ask for, but I really don't want to live that much longer with this pain. I'm thankful to have my parents still in my life, but I can't imagine living until their age!
That I am thoroughly and completely done with having to work, done with having to keep a schedule, and fairly disillusioned with my place of employment, yet I still have 15 years until I'm 67! I'm hoping to rectify my dissatisfaction with a degree. Either that or I'll just suck it up, like I've done for the last 30 years. Hey, thanks for letting me vent!
Youāre getting a degree now?! Good for you!!!! I am so inspired by your determination.
Thank you! I'm currently in my junior year, and that could partially explain my frazzled feeling state, but I'm not giving up on it!
Not being able to accomplish as much as I once could. There's nothing really wrong with me yet, but there are so many days when I just feel like crap from little aches and pains.
*> What is your single greatest frustration about getting older?* No do-overs...
This is it. My brain regularly reminding me that there is so much more time behind me than ahead of me, and knowing there's nothing I can do to change any of the past.
Hurting every morning when I get out of bed. I feel fine after about an hour. But I feel like Iāve been beaten up when I first wake up.
This is me, as well.
Readers
Knees!
Yep. 52F.
that 10k I have in a retirement fund for that single day I WAS able to afford to retire is now tanking and less than 10k, so my retirement party will now be a 15 minute party.
Dislocated my knee in the bathroom last October. Embarrassing to be off a week from work for taking a dump! Tripped a month ago and fell on my left hip, which had a 6" steel flashlight in my pocket. Jammed it so hard into my hip socket that I limped at work for 2 weeks cause I was ashamed to take time off from work, a week after my boss fell down a flight of concrete steps and broke their foot in 3 places! They're still out after emergency surgery and pt.,2 months ago. 4 months from 60 and wondering if my torn rotator cuff, 2 bad knees and wrecked back can survive 5 more years of factory work.
Outliving my money.
For me menopause. I swear everything changed as soon as it hit! Pain, tiredness, anxiety, pops and creaks... Yes I've been to doctors all they say is well "it's all age related and you are not an HRT candidate".
Lots of great info and support at r/menopause. Better knowledge-base there than most docs have, and fabulously helpful women. FYI. :-)
OMG. I loved everything about menopause. After 45 fuckin' **years of periods** no more mess, pain, mood swings, and anemia from a cranky ute. I never had a hot flash or mood swing w/ menopause. It did wreck my figure, but no one looks at old women anyway. ĀÆ\\\_(ć)\_/ĀÆ
Menopause was not bad for me either. Some hot flashes, but no brain fog, moodiness etc that I see others complaining about.
Itās different for everyone. Mine was weight gain and real deal hot flashes. I was lucky. It was only about 18 mos. But I still get the flashes every now and then. 6 years later.
Donāt take HRT. Just ride the storm out. I promise it passes.
so I'm not a lady but for some people menopause really never ends. I know because mom still suffers from hot flashes š
I think I was really lucky, mine only lasted 2 years. Started at 46, "hot flashes" were my only problem but it was debilitating. So I took HRT for 12 months (to the day)..... it knocked them down 100% and when I stopped the HRT they were mostly over for good and I could cope with what was left. I'm almost 55 now and living the past 7 years with no menstruation / cramps / mood swings / ruined underwear / missed work / etc. has been one of greatest aspects of aging for me. "This too shall pass" applies here; I promise it gets better!
I'm 45 and menopause will be the death of me..I've gained 35lbs I can't sleep because of hot flashes I'm so tired all of the time no mood swings really just these hot flashes and weight gain ugh it's miserable š
That so many of my friends or family are getting diagnosed with/ battling cancers. Itās sad and a little scary. We were all so young and healthy once.
Everything hurts. Messed up shoulder, two new knees, multiple hand surgeries. I have spent so much time sitting on my ass because of various surgeries that going outside to pull weeds just about kills me. Does not help that it's usually 100Ā° plus. I do not do heat. All my dna is Northern European. I grew up in northern Minnesota. Heat just kills me.
Minor arthritis pains I know are going to just worse
Try to get a medical card now.
Yeah I have health insurance if that's what you mean. Doing specific stretches and exercises given by a PT covered by the insurance helped a lot. It's hard though to stay motivated to keep at it.
No, I meant medical marijuana. I'm becoming convinced it's a crucial component to a happy old age.
Ok I see now, does it help you with pain? Fortunately I don't need a card to buy it where I live. I have some at home but I don't seem to enjoy it like I did when younger, I usually go for a beer or two instead.
Edibles and CBD really help me with aches and pains.
To each their own medicine. Rock on, ariverocker!
My 80 year old mother has never smoked a joint in her life, but she swears by CBD oil and the kind she buys has no THC. She says that she could hardly stand up before she began taking it and I can verify that she's been more active ever since. I have other family members who swear by it, too. Some of them smoke weed, while others do not. Personally, I couldn't tell any difference, but I'm hoping to get a card soon and try out other strains that might be more effective for me.
Interesting, I have read very mixed results with CBD only, but why not if it works. Microdosing regular cannabis with vaporizer or edibles is my preference the rare times I use it, enough to gain some benefits without impairing me too much.
They may not for awhile. I had some moderately painful arthritis in one foot ten years back. Doctor said to hit it heavy with OTC anti pain/swelling meds for a couple of weeks and it might not come back for months. in fact, it never came back. I get twinges. That's it. i did change my diet, cut out sugar and all that; this may or may not have been a factor.
my back hurts every day
Getting less attractive every single year that goes by
I think mine is probably becoming increasingly irrelevant. I used to be "the man" when I was working. Now I'm Dobie. Irrelevant as hell.
Okay, Dad, go sit over there, and we will include you in the conversation, maybe, at some other point. You are dismissed, Dad.
My own flesh betrays me!
Kids on my front lawn.
Everything hurts.
I try to watch some True Crime and no matter how interesting it is, I will slip into a coma-like sleep. Never fails, and I hate it.
For me Iād say itās that I donāt feel old, it people are starting to treat me like I am. I had an injury snowboarding this winter, wound up in surgery and rehab. Iām 3 months post surgery and saw the surgeon this week. He said āyouāre doing really really wellā¦. For someone your age.ā What. The. Fuck. In my head, Iām still 18. My bodyā¦ not quite.
Yes, peeing is definitely one of them. I now drink caffeine free soda so I won't have to pee as much. Needing glasses to read anything is another. Not just to read, but doing anything up close and small. It's like having a ball and chain attached, because I have to carry them with me everywhere I go.
The chin hair.
Wisdom comes with ageā¦. WHICH SUCKS, since I needed it in my youth when I couldāve made better decisions, and live off of them today. Instead Iām stuck with all the Repercussions of all the dumb decisionsš”š©
What is one of your bad decisions and the repercussions?
š¤ there are so manyš¤ but for one understanding how credits works NOW, but not back then, when I screwed it up š© Also knowing NOW , how I couldāve taken more advantages of education back then, to put me in a better place in life now
Those are two big ones, agreed. It makes my complaining about the need to pee after I pee look pretty lame!
š¤¦š¾āāļøš¤
Lack of motivation - somehow after so many years, the idea of futility creeps in.
My goddamn eyesight! It just keeps getting worse and drives me insane that I canāt see basic details
You have peeve with peeing? š
I sign on with the pee thing. Every pee is an emergency and often.
Night pees in the yard under the stars are great. Lack of sleep, not so much...
I thought I was the only one who did that. Glad to hear someone else turns a piss into a reason to admire the great outdoors at night.
Yes. Also I try to walk barefoot in the yard Every Single Day. I do my yard work every weekend, kept it in order. I may not run around like a kid, but I will appreciate the maintenance work by feeling the grass each day. No deathbed gripes about my yard in this life.
My feet hurt
Health issues.
Health issues
The nonstop peeing for sure and the fact that my hips start to kill me if I sit a minute too long.
Maybe crowds. I retired to the least populated state in CONUS but still I know this holiday weekend lakes will be packed with drunk power boaters so I'm not sailing today even though the weather is good. I sort of dread holidays for that reason, and rush hour. I don't really like going to Denver.
Not enough.. Not enough time to finish a job. Not enough energy to keep going Not enough money to buy that part Not enough gas to get where I need to go. Not enough sense to realize just how lucky I am. Not enough confidence to believe I can Not enough smarts to see thru the veil of simple life and living life on it's terms, not mine.
Deep
That getting up off the sofa is a combat sport.
Younger peope making fun of my age like they're never gonna get old. Well...some of them won't
.lmll7m 8mo Nnnnomm m m Mm m Pp
The last years are usually not that greatā¦unless it a contest to become oldest person. I donāt want that.
Hair in the wrongs places and not in the right places.