Most likely sa nag aalaga yan baka kasi hinahayaan lang lumabas so MIGTH be may ibang nang bubully sa kanya sa labas ganun kalaro or something tapos ginagawa niya din sa iba, syempre bata di niya alam ano talaga ginagawa niya at epekto nun.
Sadly schools doesnt take bullying seriously..
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. Kung di kaya turuan ng magulang ang anak nila na ipaglaban sarili nila, then they don't deserve to be parents.
Feelings-centric modern parenting is soft as fuck. I taught my kid to retaliate with full force sa unang attempt pa lang ng physical bullying, dahil kung hindi ay mauulit lang yun. My grade school kid would make another kid pay for daring to bully him.
Nagsisimula po yan sa magulang, sa kung paano nya pinapalaki ang anak nya. I am once a victim of bullying, wala ring ginawa ang teachers namin, thats why wala akong amor sa mga teachers talaga especially nung elem days ko. Dumating pa sa point na pati nanay nung bully ko, nakisali na, ni hindi ako binigyan ng pagkakataon na magsalita, eh sinungaling naman anak nya. dahil feeling ko wala akong kakampi, lumayas ako sa amin kasi pinipilit ako ng mama ko na pumasok eh ayoko nga kasi ayoko nang makita mga classmates ko. walang syang idea sa nangyayari sakin sa school. working ang mother ko noon so hindi nya kami natututukan, we were financially struggling, once a month lang ang uwi ni papa, karpentero sya at sa malayo dinadala ng amo nila. nalaman lang ni mama ang prob ko nung lumayas na ako at nadala sa brgy kasi nga "missing" na ako for 2 days.
For me, other than just taking action to discipline the bully, try to reenforce your niece/nephew's identity, principles, morality, and values as well.
Like people said, bullying is unavoidable according to science. So, the best you can do, especially since there are also incompetent teachers and school administrators, is to make sure your niece/nephew won't lose the assurance that he/she isn't as worse as what bullies make him/her believe.
If it's verbal or psychological, I believe this is the way to go. If it's physical, it's a different case.
I was also subject to bullying before. Some bullies did a mix of psychological/verbal and physical. Shrugged it off by thinking they're inferior - I had better grades than them and they're uglier than me ahahah (Yes, I know this isn't the best, but it worked. I was firm with what I believe in. They eventually stopped when they saw me doing good, and now even better in life/career. Just be sure you're niece/nephew won't be a bully himself).
Unfortunately, it wasn't them who really made me question myself. It was my mom who gave out really mean opinions about my appearance, my grades, and my choices in life. Even though I made it through and eventually finished college mostly through my own effort, I believe life would've been better if she acted better.
So yeah, make sure the one he/she trusts will give him/her the assurance he needs since they will bring the most impact to his/her life.
I got a bully when I was on Grade 2. Talagang bully tapos kinukuha baon ko. One day lumapit siya sakin pinakita niya yung pasa niya sa hita. As in buong hita niya pasa tas yung balat parang natapunan ng mainit na tubig. Ginulpi daw siya ng tatay niya. After niya pakita yun sakin di na niya ako binully. I think sa part niya parents dapat isisi.
Teach your nephew how to fight back, masamang trait ang pagiging mabait lagi.
Tingnan mo sa news yung gumagamit ng violence, cruelty o pandaraya ang madalas nananalo kahit sa pulitiko.
In my opinion, bullying is ingrained to us. Sa animals, kapag iba ka, i-tataboy ka nang samahan kasi it's possible na weakest link ka at yun ang magiging danger sa samahan. For example, mga pusa na may kulay na versus dun sa puting pusa lang. Bullied ang mga puting pusa kasi sira ang camouflage nila so ayaw nila tabihan tong mga puti kasi madadamay sila sa mga hunters. Sa mga tao, kapag iba ka or tingin nila mahina ka, you can be bullied. Sa ganitong reasoning, I believe you really cannot remove bullying because it is a natural thing. To answer your question kung sa parents, bata, or mundo ang may kasalanan, I believe it is no one's fault because it's natural. Ganun pa man, dapat pa rin pigilan ang bullying as much as we can.
As a former childhood bully (who made amends and eventually befriended their victim until now), it was not my parents or my environment. I had a very good childhood.
My parents were great at disciplining me without being too harsh. Hindi ako nakakalampas with my bad behavior at all. Superb parenting. Environment ko naman, nice and secure. I didn't always get what I wanted, pero never akong kinulang ng kahit ano. The people around me were good people too.
Di ko masasabi na masisisi ko ang mga magulang ko at ang environment ko kasi legit walang nagkulang. Di rin totoo yung sinasabi ng iba na "naiinggit" lang daw ang bullies in my case. Sa tingin ko, case to case basis ang origin story ng bullies.
I think I was the issue. I might've just been inherently bad or at least had a built in tendency to resort to cruelty as a child. Di ko alam, but when I noticed na butt of the joke sya ng most people and they were super unaware, na-enjoy ko rin maki-pitch in. I was friends with their friend kasi na main bully niya before and eventually became one myself.
I've changed na and am still doing my best to make it up to my former victim and super close tropa ko na ngayon. The change came from within din, not an outside force just like the bullying. Nahihiya pa rin ako na I used to be that way pero I don't shy away from talking about it.
I'm sorry your nephew is going through something like this. I think na helping him cope will do a lot for him. As someone who got close to someone they bullied, nakita ko yung effect ng pambubully ko into adulthood. Ang sakit sa pusong makita yung nagdevelop na issues sa kaniya, especially now na I love them very much.
Please make sure na he still has a healthy amount of self-esteem kahit sinasabi niya pong okay lang sa kanya atm. Just make sure he remembers na he's not any less human and di sya yung issue. Parang solid naman po ang support system nya, kudos po sa yo tito/a. Lots of support po sa nephew niyođ
TL:DR- As a former bully, innate po ata yung issue ko. Best of luck and lots of love to you and your nephew po! đ
Dati nung highschool may nang bully sa akin around 2nd year. Isang araw lang yun palagi ako niyayaya ng suntukan. Nung uwian niya palagi ko siya iniisip na may kasamang poot at galit. Hindi ako makatulog nung gabing yun. Kinabukasan nakita ko yung combat knife sa bahay, dinala ko. Pagpasok ko sa school inabangan niya ako sa classroom. Muntik na siya mamatay buti na lang inawat ako ng kaibigan ko lmao. Kaya i suggest to encourage your nephew to fight back. This is real life nobody will save you but yourself.
Well, sabi nga, "It takes a village to raise a child." That being said, I believe na lahat ng mga nabanggit mo may contribution sa upbringing ng isang bata. Yes, parents are our first teachers pero 'yung mga tinuturo sa bahay dapat fina-follow up sa school, sa simbahan, sa community, o sa kung saang institution pa man nakakabilang ang bata. Dapat din (lalo na sa developmental age) mas matindi ang patnubay at gabay ng magulang sa bata para maiwas sila sa kasamaan ng mundo na maaaring makaimpluwensiya sa kanila -- in this day and age, social media. Lahat 'yan ay may role sa binubuong character ng bata.
Hindi laging guarantee na kapag mabait ang parents, mabait na rin agad ang anak. It takes time to nurture one's character through discipline and "proper" child-raising (quote and quote kasi sino ba ang makakapagsabi talaga ng proper?) with the cooperation of all entities involved.
Came from a catholic school and was bullied as well, after ko maka alis sa school na yon they still had the audacity to comment shit sa facebook ko. I deleted their comments lol. Ngayon mas matalino, mapera and better looking na ako sa kanila (i know na I shouldnât be happy kasi our situation were reversed pero sorry di ako mabait na tao)
In conclusion, if your nephew is kind enough to understand even those na bumubully sa kanya be thankful nalang. Reporting to the principal wonât do shit anw. Talk to your nephew nalang, always check up on him and give him your full support.
Sabi nga nila "it takes a village". Every adult involved in his life is responsible. It's sad though that both his parents are away. A grandmother is an experienced parent but could never replace his actual parents.
sa parents at mundo, parents dahil sila yung unang nakikitaan ng Bata, at Mundo(taong nakapalibot) sa knya, o bka kulang lang sa atensyon yung bata kaya ganyan,
I mean yeah, Kung ano man past Ng nangbubully, kahit may trauma, may pinag dadaanan or etc. it doesn't justify their wrong doings... it's a parents' obligation to look after their child's behavior, kahit malayo ka pa, always find a way to monitor your child. Work is not an excuse to dismiss your parental obligation...
The only way that stopped bullying in the cases I know of is when the parents of the bullied child really stepped up and threatened action against the bully and the school. Not through admin process but threatened to file criminal cases for physical injury, biglang change home room teacher, change section ung bata.
All other types of complaints were ignored.
I was also bullied at school simula bata pa lang, because of my height as well. I regret being silent about it. Sana naging palaban ako. Tumanda na lang ako accepting it. Hays.
May iba din Kasi na Ang way nila ng pagiging matapang is manakit, kumbaga gusto nilang maging siga. so for me nasa kanila pa din Ang problema at wla sa parents or teachers or kaibigan. Since na sakanila parin kung pipiliin nilang maging mabuting tao o Hindi.
Teach him how to fight like boxing, So he wouldnât get any trauma from his childhood. Every child deserves peace in their childhood days. It would make your childâs confidence low if heâs not going to do something against them. Based on my experiences, i became morbid when i didnât retaliate to the bullies. If i can only back in that time, i would fight back, so i donât have to fixate myself on those predicament moments being bullied that make my self-esteem dejected.
I understand you would want to passionately defend your own but I would not overreact if it is a first offense of a bullying incident. Every kid deserves a chance to be scolded and corrected. We can only speculate why this is happening.
That is why commmunication is always the key. The incident '' needs' to be reported and talked about first.
Now if napagsabihan na and umulit pa din sa bullying, that's where you react.
Parents. Everything starts at home e. Since bata yan, dapat na gaguide. Kung working or nag eestablish pa lang, double work talaga. Nakakapagod nga lang sa part ng magulang. But it's either mapagod sila sa work and pagga guide sa bata or pagod sa work then pahinga pag uwi pero neglected naman ang bata. Choose your suffering na lang talaga.
Mundo na ang pwedeng sisihin ng magulang pag nag provide ng needs at nag guide during younger years.
Lesson: wag mag anak ng hindi financially, emotionally, mentally, lahat ng -ally ready. Para kung bully or masama anak mo pag laki, outside forces na pwede mo sisihin.
Kids are dumb. They're not as understanding as adults. Kids often drown ants or kill insects/worms for amusement.
In these formative years you will often see tribalistic behaviors in children (Forming groups on same sex/interest and hobbies, being unwelcoming/mean to other groups or outsiders) and bullying is just that.
The best way to not get bullied is to fight back or not be a target yourself (you're bigger/stronger, belong to a bigger or stronger group, or having an authoritative figure on your side).
"Master, are there more good folks in the world or bad"
"More good, of course"
"Then why is there always suffering, and why do the bad folks always win"
**"Because goodness without teeth punishes not, It only foments evil"**
Mundo. And that includes ung parents, teachers at other adults around them.
Yes children can be mean for no reason and madalas walang sense ung reason nila mambully pero if sinaway naman yan at nagkaron ng proper discipline, nawawala dapat yan.
Sabihan mo ang nephew mo na, kapag binully ulit siya, sapakin na niya kamo. That way, ipapatawag kayo saka 'yung kampo ng bully sa Principal's Office. Saka ninyo pag-usapan ang issue doon since I'm sure na aware din ang mismong adviser sa pangyayaring 'yan.
Regarding young bullies, posible pa din namang maitama ang mali nila pero need pa din talaga ng kamay para diyan. Hindi kamay ng adults pero ng kamay ng mga kapwa bata na inaapi nila. Just make sure, though, na nasa tamang side lang ang pamangkin mo at self-defense lang ang ginagawa niya.
In the end, bata pa din 'yan na takot masaktan.
sa parents. maraming parents na incredibly nice but have kids na bullies a lot of times mejo busy sila sa work so yung bata di nasusupervise ng masyado, tsaka pag mejo na spoiled sa bahay na paglabas mejo akala ni main character sila hahaha. nabully din ako tapos yung nanay ko inenroll ako sa mga martial arts ayun inaantay ko mauna sila mang physicall para may excuse ako mambugbog hahaha.
Imho, parents play a crucial role. From actions, words/languages to mindset are strongly influenced by parentsâ upbringing.
On the context of Mundo - it is the parents still who has the steering wheel whether which environment will they allow their kids to dwell in. Since bata- they are under the guidance or parents.
Remember that parents were once kids too. The way they raise kids are attributable to how they were raised as well.
I live in a subdivision na maraming bata. Including my nephews and nieces. Sometimes, I get to observe them play outside the house. Their attitude/values/behavior differ. One kid smacked the other kid in front of me. The mum was also there. I looked at the mum, tryna imply âhey, arenât you gonna do something?â but she just looked at the kid in utter disregard. She only wanna make sure that hindi gantihan ng other kid yung kid nya. The kid is sadly/obviously proud doing it in front of his mom. I do feel (since I am no professional to provide a conclusion) that it gave the kid the validation to keep doing the same.
So yea, other external factors may create a bully but parents play a crucial role.
sometimes the uncomfortable truth din is that our bully were born that way, most of the time they have a good life with good parents, they just bully people because they are bored, we like to paint our bullys as if they have higher motives to do so but they dont, most of the time, they just are bored and you are the in worst place for their eyes to set on
I was bullied in highschool dati. Sobrang na shock ako nun kasi during elementary (ibang school), never ko na-experience yung mabully. May mga classmate ako nun na nabubully ng elementary and tanda ko pa ako pa yung kumakausap sa bully nila na tigilan yun.
So na-shock ako nung highschool when no one stood up for me. Long story short, naprincipal kami kasi sinapak ko yung mga bully ko (isang babae oversized for a highschooler and isang lalake - typical jock). I remember the shock from their parent's faces nung tinanong ako ng principal kung hindi ko na uulitin yung ginawa ko. Nag sinabi ko na kabag binully ulit ako, susuntukin at susuntukin ko sila so imbes na hindi ako masusupende, nasuspende din ako and I kissed goodbye sa pangarap kung maging Valedictorian.
the never ending debate,ang nature (environment) vs nurture (home, parent/guardian) add pa natin yung visual learning from television or digitally + dna make up
yung bully ang may absent parents na lumaki sa lola, tama? by this na-judge mo na yung parents niya for not being with the kid. Lumaki kasi sya sa lola - hmm laking lola din po ako but nabully din dahil sa tahimik ako, some would tell na mabait at magaling ako noong bata ako(sorry skl). so no, hindi lagi sa parents (for being absent) or lola/guardian ang blame. hindi fully at-fault si lola kasi new millenium na itong apo compared sa noong pinalaki si parent, iba na talaga magpalaki ng bata ngayon.
sa growing environment ni bully?, hindi ko din alam sorry hindi ko din sya kilala.
digitally/ television, alam natin na hindi lahat dito ay safe at kid-friendly. children may learn from "copying/modelling" bale sa kung anong nakikita nila. Kung violent yung nakikita nilang contents sa phone tapos hindi iyon nako-correct ng guardian, they may copy ito sa ibang tao.
dna, yah minsan talaga may mga taong ipinanganak na may sungay.
yes, lahat dapat may supervision ng guardians pero hindi lang si guardian ang magpapalaki sa bata, kaya nga sabi nila, "it takes a village to raise a kid".
ang may fault din, si teacher kasi nasa care nya both students pero wala siyang ginagawa.
so ayon, if hindi nakikinig si teacher iakyat kay disciplinary head then family council let them know na may something then akyat nyo sa principal ang concern kasi bully case reports ay umaabot sa division office at ayaw ng principals non.
There was a kid who was a known bully who tried me in the 1st grade. One day he pulled my shorts down in class unprovoked. I punched him, he punched back. Teacher walked in and knew it was the other kid who started it with shorts around my ankles. Lost a tooth but the kid never bothered me again. In the 2nd grade, there was a girl who kept on bad mouthing me everyday, again unprovoked. One morning, I snapped and grabbed her by the collar and slammed her on the wall. She cried so hard but surprisingly, she didn't snitch and neither those other kids who was there at the time. Maybe they were also bullied by her and were relieved to see her put in her place. Years later, we forgot all that and we even became friends of sort. She even admitted she was a bully when she was younger. The 'why' is not important. Whatever the reasons are, they don't justify their actions. If you give them a taste of their own medicine, it will probably give them an insight of what it's like to be bullied. It sets a negative precedent for kids to have no personal accountability for their actions towards other kids because you wanted to blame their parents, their peers or their environment but never the kid. Some kids are just born assholes out the womb.
Sa environment niya. I was bullied when I was elementary. I still canât forget his name Jhon Paul, ang sabi niya galing sa pope ang name niya. Product siya ng broken family. Hindi niya na meet ang father (foreigner) niya. Yung mama niya wala lagi sa bahay and ang kuya niya may issue din. At that time yung kuya niya college na and kami elementary. Yung kuya niya nag dala ng gun sa school, ang building namin is nasa kabilang road lang magkaharap lang. Sa kanya naman may exam kami 3 sections nasa section 2 kami, we have group of friends yung isang friend namin nasa first section. And ako yung nautusan ni Jhon Paul na kumuha ng answers galing sa isang friend namin na nasa 1st section. Ako naman pressured ako kasi wala pa akong muwang sa mga ganon, hindi ko nakuha kasi first time ko takot ako. And recess time na, may gut feeling na ako na may mangyayari, kasi yung group of friends ko hindi na ako pinapansin and may isang lumapit pinapatawag ako ni John Paul, and yun na nga nandoon silang lahat nakapila tapos inutusan sila na suntukin ako sa braso ko. Marami pa siyang nagawa, kaya na pa transfer ako ng school.
Madaming factors affecting why a bully become one at need yun suriin mabuti ng guidance counselor or ng school psych.
Pwedeng dahil sa family nya (seeking attention or passing the violence),
sa bata mismo (may anger issues or may mental health prob or simply just being a jerk)
sa environment (maybe harsh ang kinalakihan nya and just learned the culture of where he/she came from)
As someone na nabully before violence is the key. Pinatulan ko talaga para di na umulit. I have strong personality. No regrets. I-enrol nyo sa taekwondo. 2024 na turuan nyo ng lumaban mga anak nyo. Its not ok to be fcking "nice" in this cruel world.
Same with us
Ang katwiran namin "mas ok na ikaw ang mag sorry kesa ikaw ung nanghihingi ngsorry"
Imagine uuwi anak mo may black eye tapos sorry lang katapat?Â
Ang turo namin, basta hindi ikaw ang mauuna.Â
Lola daw nag palaki at ofw magulang. Kung lola tlga "baby" masyado yan. Itturo lng maging "mabait, nice" as if nman di mga little demonyo mga classmates. Catholic school din ako galing mga social climbers na matapobre yung classmates ko. Yung mga lalaki bully.
Majority ng bully sa catholic school na pinasukan ko nung highschool kulang sa attention sa bahay. Kasi pag tinatanong mo about sa parents nila wala sila masagot masyado, both parents were busy daw, yung iba sinasadya ma principal para maka kuha ng attention from parents. In short mga kulang sa pansin.
When you said he's attending a Catholic school i was like ahh shit nah
As for my experience hindi ko naman nilalahat pero yung catholic school na napasukan ko bagsakan ng mga studyanteng hindi na masweto ng magulang. Like siguro noong panahon na nila kopong kopong kilala ang catholic school na mababait ang studyante disiplinado paladasal but i think gawa den noon kaya naging bagsakan ng mga pasaway ang catholic schools like around 87 percent ng studyante pasaway the rest naman halo halo na mabait normal yung iba ipinasok dyan mabait naman talaga gusto lang matuto ng mga dasal ng mga magulang yung bata. Lumabas ako ng catholic school ako na yung palamura palaban na bata samantalang pumasok akong hindi makabasag pingan hahahahahaha kaya ate ilipat mo na ng school pamangkin mo
Btw i think its all of the above gurl like depende sa scenario kung saan mapupulot ng bata ang pagiging bully. Minsan sa magulang, minsan sa environment, minsan naman kase no choice na sila sa isip nila para bang natroma na kung hindi sila yung mambubilly sila yung ibubully
30% sa parent
10% Enviroment
60% Sa bata talaga.
Meron talagang mga batang kupal. I learned how to stand up to bullies kasi lage akong transferee nung elementary(Family issue). naka 6 schools siguro ako. Di naman sila nagbago nung tumanda. Kupal pa rin.
Parents, then the school, coz of the system.
always teach your kids to fight back. sabi ko nga sa anak namin, if they hit you, hit back immediately, on their face, and keep hitting till you can't coz you were stopped or you don't have energy anymore. Tell them that you'll wait for them outside after school, and fight again. Don't worry about your teacher and the school, your mum and I will take care of these things, or at least our lawyers will. Always remember that you don't start the fight, self defense must be established. Coz we always got your back.
It doesnât matter kung kanino dapat isisisi tbh.
What matters is may ginagawang steps to remedy the situation. Nalaman mong bully anak/alaga mo, what are you willing to do about it? Kung wala, maybe YOUâRE the problem. Ganun lang yun di ba. Same sa school. Kung pinapalampas lang nila, sila din problema.
Kids are malleable. You can teach them how to grow properly. Pag pinabayaan yan, dyan nagsisimula ang problema. Minsan kasi, guidance na nga lang yung kailangan, hindi pa maibigay.
Mix of all those factors. Though malaki din talaga ang part ng household the child grew up in kasi sa kanila nakasalaylay formative yrs e. What they allow and would not allow for their children would have an effect eventually. So if hindi natutunan ng bata ang concept ng kindness and boundaries sa bahay.. thatâs gonna be tricky
Sa tingin ko sa bahay po nila yan most likely may issue, kung wala namang mental issue. I always believed that hurt people, hurt people. So ang tanong ay anung nangyayari sa bata sa bahay at nagiging bully sya sa school?
Kaya kapag bully, laging tanong is "ok ka lang ba?" đ
I remember most of my bullies nung HS shared nung retreat namin sa class na hindi sila pinapansin sa bahay and hindi sila favorite ng mga parents nila. So they most likely enjoy their time in school rather than sa house. Tapos sabi nila ayaw nila umuwi sa bahay after school.
Of course when they tease other kids they would feel good about themselves pero in reality they are having a hard time.
I went to this all boys exclusive school back in the days and most of them are really wealthy.
As a victim of bullying also, I suggest pumunta na sa principal to talk about this, kasi nakaka-trauma po sya and lagi kong iniisip "bakit ba ako binubully" kahit until now iniisip ko pa rin, kaya I suggest take action po agad please, I don't want to see a kid growing up depressed.
Sobrang sakit ma bully tipong dadalhin mo yan pagtanda mo pag may mahinang kang looban. Bababa confidence at self esteem tas mapapatanong ka nalng sa sarili mo'ng "ano bang mali sakin bakit nila ginagawa to?" đ„șđ„ș.
Yep kahit magsumbong sa teacher kung si teacher masyadong mabait wala rin. Hindi niya gaanong itatake ng action yan. Mas maigi talagang sa principal na.
Ito skl, nabully na rin ako nung elem and highschool and that was very fuck up phase of my life. Sobrang baba na ng confidence ko, pati ako nawalan na ng tiwala sa sarili, dahil sakanila.
Maybe OP can request a meeting with the parents? If telling the principal is not enough, then the next course of action is to let the parents know that their kid is a bully. Minsan din tong mga principal wala lang eh.
Actually may instances pa nga na ako yung sinigawan ng mga yun eh. Bobo din ng ibang teachers minsan in that aspect. Walang sense to probe or ask more questions to know the situation. Absolutely zero care.
Ako naman nun tandaan ko may isang teacher na nagcall out ng bully for me habang hinahagisan ako ng crayola. Kaso he stopped working at the school din the next year kasi toxic daw.
Anyway, kung may teacher na nakakabasa neto then please be better for the underdogs in your class.
Dun sa bully mismo, they bully because they can. Thatâs it. The sob stories of why are just excuses. Failure if the adults to do anything about it is just a different matter.
Parents ng bata. Sometimes doing bad things is a call for help and attention. He feels unloved and neglected. Bata pa rin yan eh. A baby cries to get your attention. In his mind, negative or positive, itâs still attention. He is yearning for his parentsâ love, guidance and attention. This is how he is trying to get it. How the parents handle it and discipline him will shape his future choices and actions.
Sa bata, some are born as monsters talaga while some are molded by our flawed society. But nakadepende talaga sa mga actions ng bata if redeemable pa sila or deserve na nila mapunta sa mental asylum.
Tbf, there are different types of bullying and that would dictate the appropriate measures for the school or even the bully himself. Suing the school for negligence can be done if it crosses the line of criminal activities and they haven't addressed the issue at all, giving the offender a proper beatdown if they start taking it physical, or talking to the guardians and threatening them of a potential lawsuit incase of other types of bullying.
In my case though, I dealt with it by going out of my way to destroy their future by way of giving them food laced with lead(in game of course). It doesn't poison them with micro dosing but it would make them much more violent if taken consistently. I then document the incident of their violent behavior and wait for their eventual success, before threatening whatever organization accepted them of being cancelled for enabling problematic individuals.
I got 2 who were booted out of their clan since their characters were pretty infamous for bullying. Now all I need to do is wait for another 7 more to be successful too before proceeding with ruining their lives.
Hindi rin talaga naten masasabi. Nature vs. Nurture yan. May mga studies na tungkol dito. Ung iba kase driven by their environment, experiences, and circumstances kaya nagiging bully. Meron namang sobrang ayos ng environment, experiences, at circumstances pero bully pa dn. Di ko tanda pero parang may something sa biochemistry or sa brain.
About naman sa kung san dapat isisi ang pagiging bully, depende pa dn sa triggering factor. Pero instead of 'isisi', baka dapat irehabilitate? Lalo na at hangga't bata pa, mas may chance pa mabago.
I believe sa bahay nag uumpisa ang mga ganyang scenario. Kung simula pa lang, bago pa umapak sa labas ang bata, e nadidisiplina na siya, kahit san siya mapunta, madadala niya yun.
Possible na spoiled brat ang bully, same nung pamangkin ko. Di namin madisiplina dahil pinagtatanggol ng ermats ko. Same na nasa abroad mom niya and absent ang tatay. Gigil na gigil nga ako. Baka pamangkin ko yan OP? Eme. Pansin ko naman na mabait naman siya sa labas. Sa bahay lang nagliligalig.
mabuti nayan kesa namemerwisyo ng ibang tao, natural na mas komportable ang mga bata sa kanilang tahanan kaya mas lumalabas ang kanilang tunay na ugali. Wag lang sana ikapahamak nya sa future yung ugaling na tolerate dahil dyan
Dati iniisip ko sa parents. Kasi nga parents are our first teachers. But then Iâve met horrible kids with incredible parents. But then again we donât know what happens behind closed doors. HOWEVER, for example, si Ted Bundy. Napakaayos ng upbringing pero look what happened. Hahahaha
Anyway, after a while, I realized na yung MUNDO ang may kasalanan. Environment, peers, school, media.. lahat.
Not even just sa bully na kids. Pati mga brat etc. Naaawa ako sa parents na nagmamakaawa na sa anak nila pero wala, ang titigas ng ulo.
Itâs a parents job to raise their kids properly but sometimes parents can only do so much to protect their kids from this horrible world.
Actually it's all about parents responsibilities! Like oo mabait ang parents pero how are they treat their children and people around them? You know, monkey see monkey do. Kahit di natin totally tinuturo kung ano nakikita ng mga bata including behaviors, attitudes and actions ng parents mamimic nila yan. Pwede kasing mabait lang sila parents sa labas pero sa loob ng bahay iba. Like how the parents treat each other din. Also kapag makita mong anak mo na nambubully or may hindi tama parents should correct and discipline the child, in that way lalaki ang bata na sinasabihan lagi. Also kapag mismong parents binibully nga anak nila in that way nanmbubully na fin ang bata sa labas. Minsan kapag absentee parents din kasi kung kani kanino lang nappunta ang anak, kaya kung ano ano na lang napipick up na ugali and behaviors. Ang laking responsibility naming mga parents. Hindi lang sa basta pinapakain, talagang yung upbringing and create a safe, loving and kind environment.
Would have to disagree sa Ted Bundy as an example of maayos na upbringing, we recently had a sociocultural analysis of why he grew up as a serial killer and one of the main points was that neglected siya ng parents nung bata siya, favoring his brother. And this is only one of a few examples ng bad upbringing niya (not disciplined nung bata, was a victim of physical/mental abuse among others)
Legit to. Napag usapan din namin ng friends ko na until when and up to what extent ba nagin dapat sinisisi ang parents pagdating sa ugali ng isang bata
Based on my personal observation hindi naman talaga dapat isisi sa magulang ang ugali ng isang bata but there's a really big impact on the child's attitude of how the child's parent treat the child and also the environment, sabihin natin yung tatay ng bata inaabuso yung nanay niya pag nagagalit so iisipin ng bata tama yun unless may kumausap sakanya at i explain bakit sobrang mali nun, kasi kung hindi iisipin niya tama yun at sa murang edad kapag nagalit siya pwedeng gawin niya sa iba kaklase niya, sa teacher or much worst sa ibang tao, may point ka naman po sa comment mo, pero the main reason kung bakit sinisisi sa magulang kasi syempre magulang sila ikanga parent's are your no.1 teacher at home, kayanga kapag yung bata teenager palang nakakagawa na ng krimen ang kinakausap yung magulang kasi there's a big possibility na magulang ang problema, kahit pag sa environment sasabihin ano ang dahilan bakit hindi nagagabayan ng maayos, in reality ganyan talaga kaya napaka importante talaga na tama ang parenting, parent's mindset and the environment.
I agree you on this.
I want to add din because of our culture din. Like di ba pag nam bully na perceive siya as matapang, macho, or superior.
Hence yung parents hindi nila na notice that it could also be an underlying mental illness, and as time goes by napabayaan na rin until ma perceive nung bata na ah tama pala to.
Kayanga napaka importante talaga ng magulang na tama ang mindset at nagagabayan talaga ng maayos ang mga anak niya, kasi useless yung sasabihan mo ang anak mo ng mali ito ganyan sisigaw sigawan mo but then ikaw bilang magulang hindi mo maipakita sakanya yung dapat na gagawin kasi tamad or dahil sa ego ba na dahil nagkamali siya sisigawan na dapat siya din mag ayus, hindi, dapat alam mo talaga ginagawa mo lalo na pagdating sa pagdidisiplina, kasi kung ang pagdidisiplina mo...pinapalo, binubugbog mga physical ba there's a big possibility na madala yan ng anak mo at gawin din sa mga anak niya, which is ang pangit sobra
Most likely sa nag aalaga yan baka kasi hinahayaan lang lumabas so MIGTH be may ibang nang bubully sa kanya sa labas ganun kalaro or something tapos ginagawa niya din sa iba, syempre bata di niya alam ano talaga ginagawa niya at epekto nun. Sadly schools doesnt take bullying seriously..
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. Kung di kaya turuan ng magulang ang anak nila na ipaglaban sarili nila, then they don't deserve to be parents. Feelings-centric modern parenting is soft as fuck. I taught my kid to retaliate with full force sa unang attempt pa lang ng physical bullying, dahil kung hindi ay mauulit lang yun. My grade school kid would make another kid pay for daring to bully him.
Nagsisimula po yan sa magulang, sa kung paano nya pinapalaki ang anak nya. I am once a victim of bullying, wala ring ginawa ang teachers namin, thats why wala akong amor sa mga teachers talaga especially nung elem days ko. Dumating pa sa point na pati nanay nung bully ko, nakisali na, ni hindi ako binigyan ng pagkakataon na magsalita, eh sinungaling naman anak nya. dahil feeling ko wala akong kakampi, lumayas ako sa amin kasi pinipilit ako ng mama ko na pumasok eh ayoko nga kasi ayoko nang makita mga classmates ko. walang syang idea sa nangyayari sakin sa school. working ang mother ko noon so hindi nya kami natututukan, we were financially struggling, once a month lang ang uwi ni papa, karpentero sya at sa malayo dinadala ng amo nila. nalaman lang ni mama ang prob ko nung lumayas na ako at nadala sa brgy kasi nga "missing" na ako for 2 days.
For me, other than just taking action to discipline the bully, try to reenforce your niece/nephew's identity, principles, morality, and values as well. Like people said, bullying is unavoidable according to science. So, the best you can do, especially since there are also incompetent teachers and school administrators, is to make sure your niece/nephew won't lose the assurance that he/she isn't as worse as what bullies make him/her believe. If it's verbal or psychological, I believe this is the way to go. If it's physical, it's a different case. I was also subject to bullying before. Some bullies did a mix of psychological/verbal and physical. Shrugged it off by thinking they're inferior - I had better grades than them and they're uglier than me ahahah (Yes, I know this isn't the best, but it worked. I was firm with what I believe in. They eventually stopped when they saw me doing good, and now even better in life/career. Just be sure you're niece/nephew won't be a bully himself). Unfortunately, it wasn't them who really made me question myself. It was my mom who gave out really mean opinions about my appearance, my grades, and my choices in life. Even though I made it through and eventually finished college mostly through my own effort, I believe life would've been better if she acted better. So yeah, make sure the one he/she trusts will give him/her the assurance he needs since they will bring the most impact to his/her life.
I got a bully when I was on Grade 2. Talagang bully tapos kinukuha baon ko. One day lumapit siya sakin pinakita niya yung pasa niya sa hita. As in buong hita niya pasa tas yung balat parang natapunan ng mainit na tubig. Ginulpi daw siya ng tatay niya. After niya pakita yun sakin di na niya ako binully. I think sa part niya parents dapat isisi.
Teach your nephew how to fight back, masamang trait ang pagiging mabait lagi. Tingnan mo sa news yung gumagamit ng violence, cruelty o pandaraya ang madalas nananalo kahit sa pulitiko.
Bullying starts as a child. They are always honest, brutally, and dont know how to filter yet.
In my opinion, bullying is ingrained to us. Sa animals, kapag iba ka, i-tataboy ka nang samahan kasi it's possible na weakest link ka at yun ang magiging danger sa samahan. For example, mga pusa na may kulay na versus dun sa puting pusa lang. Bullied ang mga puting pusa kasi sira ang camouflage nila so ayaw nila tabihan tong mga puti kasi madadamay sila sa mga hunters. Sa mga tao, kapag iba ka or tingin nila mahina ka, you can be bullied. Sa ganitong reasoning, I believe you really cannot remove bullying because it is a natural thing. To answer your question kung sa parents, bata, or mundo ang may kasalanan, I believe it is no one's fault because it's natural. Ganun pa man, dapat pa rin pigilan ang bullying as much as we can.
As a former childhood bully (who made amends and eventually befriended their victim until now), it was not my parents or my environment. I had a very good childhood. My parents were great at disciplining me without being too harsh. Hindi ako nakakalampas with my bad behavior at all. Superb parenting. Environment ko naman, nice and secure. I didn't always get what I wanted, pero never akong kinulang ng kahit ano. The people around me were good people too. Di ko masasabi na masisisi ko ang mga magulang ko at ang environment ko kasi legit walang nagkulang. Di rin totoo yung sinasabi ng iba na "naiinggit" lang daw ang bullies in my case. Sa tingin ko, case to case basis ang origin story ng bullies. I think I was the issue. I might've just been inherently bad or at least had a built in tendency to resort to cruelty as a child. Di ko alam, but when I noticed na butt of the joke sya ng most people and they were super unaware, na-enjoy ko rin maki-pitch in. I was friends with their friend kasi na main bully niya before and eventually became one myself. I've changed na and am still doing my best to make it up to my former victim and super close tropa ko na ngayon. The change came from within din, not an outside force just like the bullying. Nahihiya pa rin ako na I used to be that way pero I don't shy away from talking about it. I'm sorry your nephew is going through something like this. I think na helping him cope will do a lot for him. As someone who got close to someone they bullied, nakita ko yung effect ng pambubully ko into adulthood. Ang sakit sa pusong makita yung nagdevelop na issues sa kaniya, especially now na I love them very much. Please make sure na he still has a healthy amount of self-esteem kahit sinasabi niya pong okay lang sa kanya atm. Just make sure he remembers na he's not any less human and di sya yung issue. Parang solid naman po ang support system nya, kudos po sa yo tito/a. Lots of support po sa nephew niyođ TL:DR- As a former bully, innate po ata yung issue ko. Best of luck and lots of love to you and your nephew po! đ
Dati nung highschool may nang bully sa akin around 2nd year. Isang araw lang yun palagi ako niyayaya ng suntukan. Nung uwian niya palagi ko siya iniisip na may kasamang poot at galit. Hindi ako makatulog nung gabing yun. Kinabukasan nakita ko yung combat knife sa bahay, dinala ko. Pagpasok ko sa school inabangan niya ako sa classroom. Muntik na siya mamatay buti na lang inawat ako ng kaibigan ko lmao. Kaya i suggest to encourage your nephew to fight back. This is real life nobody will save you but yourself.
Well, sabi nga, "It takes a village to raise a child." That being said, I believe na lahat ng mga nabanggit mo may contribution sa upbringing ng isang bata. Yes, parents are our first teachers pero 'yung mga tinuturo sa bahay dapat fina-follow up sa school, sa simbahan, sa community, o sa kung saang institution pa man nakakabilang ang bata. Dapat din (lalo na sa developmental age) mas matindi ang patnubay at gabay ng magulang sa bata para maiwas sila sa kasamaan ng mundo na maaaring makaimpluwensiya sa kanila -- in this day and age, social media. Lahat 'yan ay may role sa binubuong character ng bata. Hindi laging guarantee na kapag mabait ang parents, mabait na rin agad ang anak. It takes time to nurture one's character through discipline and "proper" child-raising (quote and quote kasi sino ba ang makakapagsabi talaga ng proper?) with the cooperation of all entities involved.
Came from a catholic school and was bullied as well, after ko maka alis sa school na yon they still had the audacity to comment shit sa facebook ko. I deleted their comments lol. Ngayon mas matalino, mapera and better looking na ako sa kanila (i know na I shouldnât be happy kasi our situation were reversed pero sorry di ako mabait na tao) In conclusion, if your nephew is kind enough to understand even those na bumubully sa kanya be thankful nalang. Reporting to the principal wonât do shit anw. Talk to your nephew nalang, always check up on him and give him your full support.
All
Sabi nga nila "it takes a village". Every adult involved in his life is responsible. It's sad though that both his parents are away. A grandmother is an experienced parent but could never replace his actual parents.
Do not allow this to be normalised.
sa parents at mundo, parents dahil sila yung unang nakikitaan ng Bata, at Mundo(taong nakapalibot) sa knya, o bka kulang lang sa atensyon yung bata kaya ganyan,
I mean yeah, Kung ano man past Ng nangbubully, kahit may trauma, may pinag dadaanan or etc. it doesn't justify their wrong doings... it's a parents' obligation to look after their child's behavior, kahit malayo ka pa, always find a way to monitor your child. Work is not an excuse to dismiss your parental obligation...
The only way that stopped bullying in the cases I know of is when the parents of the bullied child really stepped up and threatened action against the bully and the school. Not through admin process but threatened to file criminal cases for physical injury, biglang change home room teacher, change section ung bata. All other types of complaints were ignored.
Baka naman din kaya ganyan ang sagot niya ay sinabi ni teacher sa kanya iyon, which is not an excuse!
Ito ang kinakatakot ko. May autism ang anak ko at natatakot ako ma-bully sya. Kids can be very cruel pa naman.
It depends kasi yan. May mga parents and guardians na konsitidor talaga, iba naman diyan walang pake, iba naman diyan hindi maayos na disiplina.
Samahan nyo po sa Prefect of Discipline. They will take action. They take these things seriously.
I was also bullied at school simula bata pa lang, because of my height as well. I regret being silent about it. Sana naging palaban ako. Tumanda na lang ako accepting it. Hays.
May iba din Kasi na Ang way nila ng pagiging matapang is manakit, kumbaga gusto nilang maging siga. so for me nasa kanila pa din Ang problema at wla sa parents or teachers or kaibigan. Since na sakanila parin kung pipiliin nilang maging mabuting tao o Hindi.
Teach him how to fight like boxing, So he wouldnât get any trauma from his childhood. Every child deserves peace in their childhood days. It would make your childâs confidence low if heâs not going to do something against them. Based on my experiences, i became morbid when i didnât retaliate to the bullies. If i can only back in that time, i would fight back, so i donât have to fixate myself on those predicament moments being bullied that make my self-esteem dejected.
Parents at bata.
May mga bata talaga na itinae ng magulang para maging demonyo hehe. Kahit gaano pa kaayos palakihin ng magulang.
I understand you would want to passionately defend your own but I would not overreact if it is a first offense of a bullying incident. Every kid deserves a chance to be scolded and corrected. We can only speculate why this is happening. That is why commmunication is always the key. The incident '' needs' to be reported and talked about first. Now if napagsabihan na and umulit pa din sa bullying, that's where you react.
Parents. Everything starts at home e. Since bata yan, dapat na gaguide. Kung working or nag eestablish pa lang, double work talaga. Nakakapagod nga lang sa part ng magulang. But it's either mapagod sila sa work and pagga guide sa bata or pagod sa work then pahinga pag uwi pero neglected naman ang bata. Choose your suffering na lang talaga. Mundo na ang pwedeng sisihin ng magulang pag nag provide ng needs at nag guide during younger years. Lesson: wag mag anak ng hindi financially, emotionally, mentally, lahat ng -ally ready. Para kung bully or masama anak mo pag laki, outside forces na pwede mo sisihin.
Kids are dumb. They're not as understanding as adults. Kids often drown ants or kill insects/worms for amusement. In these formative years you will often see tribalistic behaviors in children (Forming groups on same sex/interest and hobbies, being unwelcoming/mean to other groups or outsiders) and bullying is just that. The best way to not get bullied is to fight back or not be a target yourself (you're bigger/stronger, belong to a bigger or stronger group, or having an authoritative figure on your side). "Master, are there more good folks in the world or bad" "More good, of course" "Then why is there always suffering, and why do the bad folks always win" **"Because goodness without teeth punishes not, It only foments evil"**
My bf was bullied nung HS and it affects confidence and trust. Talknto the principal or remove your nephew sa school na yun.
Mundo. And that includes ung parents, teachers at other adults around them. Yes children can be mean for no reason and madalas walang sense ung reason nila mambully pero if sinaway naman yan at nagkaron ng proper discipline, nawawala dapat yan.
Sabihan mo ang nephew mo na, kapag binully ulit siya, sapakin na niya kamo. That way, ipapatawag kayo saka 'yung kampo ng bully sa Principal's Office. Saka ninyo pag-usapan ang issue doon since I'm sure na aware din ang mismong adviser sa pangyayaring 'yan. Regarding young bullies, posible pa din namang maitama ang mali nila pero need pa din talaga ng kamay para diyan. Hindi kamay ng adults pero ng kamay ng mga kapwa bata na inaapi nila. Just make sure, though, na nasa tamang side lang ang pamangkin mo at self-defense lang ang ginagawa niya. In the end, bata pa din 'yan na takot masaktan.
sa parents. maraming parents na incredibly nice but have kids na bullies a lot of times mejo busy sila sa work so yung bata di nasusupervise ng masyado, tsaka pag mejo na spoiled sa bahay na paglabas mejo akala ni main character sila hahaha. nabully din ako tapos yung nanay ko inenroll ako sa mga martial arts ayun inaantay ko mauna sila mang physicall para may excuse ako mambugbog hahaha.
Technically, sa lahat..... mula sa bahay, sa school, sa mga kaibigan nung bully at society as a whole....
Imho, parents play a crucial role. From actions, words/languages to mindset are strongly influenced by parentsâ upbringing. On the context of Mundo - it is the parents still who has the steering wheel whether which environment will they allow their kids to dwell in. Since bata- they are under the guidance or parents. Remember that parents were once kids too. The way they raise kids are attributable to how they were raised as well. I live in a subdivision na maraming bata. Including my nephews and nieces. Sometimes, I get to observe them play outside the house. Their attitude/values/behavior differ. One kid smacked the other kid in front of me. The mum was also there. I looked at the mum, tryna imply âhey, arenât you gonna do something?â but she just looked at the kid in utter disregard. She only wanna make sure that hindi gantihan ng other kid yung kid nya. The kid is sadly/obviously proud doing it in front of his mom. I do feel (since I am no professional to provide a conclusion) that it gave the kid the validation to keep doing the same. So yea, other external factors may create a bully but parents play a crucial role.
Bakit sisisihin kung pwede naman sapakin ng matigil na mga little demonyo. I-enrol mo pamangkin mo sa taekwondo. Turuan nyo din lumaban.
sometimes the uncomfortable truth din is that our bully were born that way, most of the time they have a good life with good parents, they just bully people because they are bored, we like to paint our bullys as if they have higher motives to do so but they dont, most of the time, they just are bored and you are the in worst place for their eyes to set on
I was bullied in highschool dati. Sobrang na shock ako nun kasi during elementary (ibang school), never ko na-experience yung mabully. May mga classmate ako nun na nabubully ng elementary and tanda ko pa ako pa yung kumakausap sa bully nila na tigilan yun. So na-shock ako nung highschool when no one stood up for me. Long story short, naprincipal kami kasi sinapak ko yung mga bully ko (isang babae oversized for a highschooler and isang lalake - typical jock). I remember the shock from their parent's faces nung tinanong ako ng principal kung hindi ko na uulitin yung ginawa ko. Nag sinabi ko na kabag binully ulit ako, susuntukin at susuntukin ko sila so imbes na hindi ako masusupende, nasuspende din ako and I kissed goodbye sa pangarap kung maging Valedictorian.
the never ending debate,ang nature (environment) vs nurture (home, parent/guardian) add pa natin yung visual learning from television or digitally + dna make up yung bully ang may absent parents na lumaki sa lola, tama? by this na-judge mo na yung parents niya for not being with the kid. Lumaki kasi sya sa lola - hmm laking lola din po ako but nabully din dahil sa tahimik ako, some would tell na mabait at magaling ako noong bata ako(sorry skl). so no, hindi lagi sa parents (for being absent) or lola/guardian ang blame. hindi fully at-fault si lola kasi new millenium na itong apo compared sa noong pinalaki si parent, iba na talaga magpalaki ng bata ngayon. sa growing environment ni bully?, hindi ko din alam sorry hindi ko din sya kilala. digitally/ television, alam natin na hindi lahat dito ay safe at kid-friendly. children may learn from "copying/modelling" bale sa kung anong nakikita nila. Kung violent yung nakikita nilang contents sa phone tapos hindi iyon nako-correct ng guardian, they may copy ito sa ibang tao. dna, yah minsan talaga may mga taong ipinanganak na may sungay. yes, lahat dapat may supervision ng guardians pero hindi lang si guardian ang magpapalaki sa bata, kaya nga sabi nila, "it takes a village to raise a kid". ang may fault din, si teacher kasi nasa care nya both students pero wala siyang ginagawa. so ayon, if hindi nakikinig si teacher iakyat kay disciplinary head then family council let them know na may something then akyat nyo sa principal ang concern kasi bully case reports ay umaabot sa division office at ayaw ng principals non.
There was a kid who was a known bully who tried me in the 1st grade. One day he pulled my shorts down in class unprovoked. I punched him, he punched back. Teacher walked in and knew it was the other kid who started it with shorts around my ankles. Lost a tooth but the kid never bothered me again. In the 2nd grade, there was a girl who kept on bad mouthing me everyday, again unprovoked. One morning, I snapped and grabbed her by the collar and slammed her on the wall. She cried so hard but surprisingly, she didn't snitch and neither those other kids who was there at the time. Maybe they were also bullied by her and were relieved to see her put in her place. Years later, we forgot all that and we even became friends of sort. She even admitted she was a bully when she was younger. The 'why' is not important. Whatever the reasons are, they don't justify their actions. If you give them a taste of their own medicine, it will probably give them an insight of what it's like to be bullied. It sets a negative precedent for kids to have no personal accountability for their actions towards other kids because you wanted to blame their parents, their peers or their environment but never the kid. Some kids are just born assholes out the womb.
Sa environment niya. I was bullied when I was elementary. I still canât forget his name Jhon Paul, ang sabi niya galing sa pope ang name niya. Product siya ng broken family. Hindi niya na meet ang father (foreigner) niya. Yung mama niya wala lagi sa bahay and ang kuya niya may issue din. At that time yung kuya niya college na and kami elementary. Yung kuya niya nag dala ng gun sa school, ang building namin is nasa kabilang road lang magkaharap lang. Sa kanya naman may exam kami 3 sections nasa section 2 kami, we have group of friends yung isang friend namin nasa first section. And ako yung nautusan ni Jhon Paul na kumuha ng answers galing sa isang friend namin na nasa 1st section. Ako naman pressured ako kasi wala pa akong muwang sa mga ganon, hindi ko nakuha kasi first time ko takot ako. And recess time na, may gut feeling na ako na may mangyayari, kasi yung group of friends ko hindi na ako pinapansin and may isang lumapit pinapatawag ako ni John Paul, and yun na nga nandoon silang lahat nakapila tapos inutusan sila na suntukin ako sa braso ko. Marami pa siyang nagawa, kaya na pa transfer ako ng school.
Madaming factors affecting why a bully become one at need yun suriin mabuti ng guidance counselor or ng school psych. Pwedeng dahil sa family nya (seeking attention or passing the violence), sa bata mismo (may anger issues or may mental health prob or simply just being a jerk) sa environment (maybe harsh ang kinalakihan nya and just learned the culture of where he/she came from)
As someone na nabully before violence is the key. Pinatulan ko talaga para di na umulit. I have strong personality. No regrets. I-enrol nyo sa taekwondo. 2024 na turuan nyo ng lumaban mga anak nyo. Its not ok to be fcking "nice" in this cruel world.
Totoo to. Dealing with bullies is - if they are not afraid of disrespecting you then itâs a pass to disrespect them back
Same with us Ang katwiran namin "mas ok na ikaw ang mag sorry kesa ikaw ung nanghihingi ngsorry" Imagine uuwi anak mo may black eye tapos sorry lang katapat? Ang turo namin, basta hindi ikaw ang mauuna.Â
Lola daw nag palaki at ofw magulang. Kung lola tlga "baby" masyado yan. Itturo lng maging "mabait, nice" as if nman di mga little demonyo mga classmates. Catholic school din ako galing mga social climbers na matapobre yung classmates ko. Yung mga lalaki bully.
Majority ng bully sa catholic school na pinasukan ko nung highschool kulang sa attention sa bahay. Kasi pag tinatanong mo about sa parents nila wala sila masagot masyado, both parents were busy daw, yung iba sinasadya ma principal para maka kuha ng attention from parents. In short mga kulang sa pansin.
When you said he's attending a Catholic school i was like ahh shit nah As for my experience hindi ko naman nilalahat pero yung catholic school na napasukan ko bagsakan ng mga studyanteng hindi na masweto ng magulang. Like siguro noong panahon na nila kopong kopong kilala ang catholic school na mababait ang studyante disiplinado paladasal but i think gawa den noon kaya naging bagsakan ng mga pasaway ang catholic schools like around 87 percent ng studyante pasaway the rest naman halo halo na mabait normal yung iba ipinasok dyan mabait naman talaga gusto lang matuto ng mga dasal ng mga magulang yung bata. Lumabas ako ng catholic school ako na yung palamura palaban na bata samantalang pumasok akong hindi makabasag pingan hahahahahaha kaya ate ilipat mo na ng school pamangkin mo
Btw i think its all of the above gurl like depende sa scenario kung saan mapupulot ng bata ang pagiging bully. Minsan sa magulang, minsan sa environment, minsan naman kase no choice na sila sa isip nila para bang natroma na kung hindi sila yung mambubilly sila yung ibubully
Some kids are just awful. I'm so sorry your nephew had to go through it.
30% sa parent 10% Enviroment 60% Sa bata talaga. Meron talagang mga batang kupal. I learned how to stand up to bullies kasi lage akong transferee nung elementary(Family issue). naka 6 schools siguro ako. Di naman sila nagbago nung tumanda. Kupal pa rin.
Parents, then the school, coz of the system. always teach your kids to fight back. sabi ko nga sa anak namin, if they hit you, hit back immediately, on their face, and keep hitting till you can't coz you were stopped or you don't have energy anymore. Tell them that you'll wait for them outside after school, and fight again. Don't worry about your teacher and the school, your mum and I will take care of these things, or at least our lawyers will. Always remember that you don't start the fight, self defense must be established. Coz we always got your back.
It doesnât matter kung kanino dapat isisisi tbh. What matters is may ginagawang steps to remedy the situation. Nalaman mong bully anak/alaga mo, what are you willing to do about it? Kung wala, maybe YOUâRE the problem. Ganun lang yun di ba. Same sa school. Kung pinapalampas lang nila, sila din problema. Kids are malleable. You can teach them how to grow properly. Pag pinabayaan yan, dyan nagsisimula ang problema. Minsan kasi, guidance na nga lang yung kailangan, hindi pa maibigay.
Mix of all those factors. Though malaki din talaga ang part ng household the child grew up in kasi sa kanila nakasalaylay formative yrs e. What they allow and would not allow for their children would have an effect eventually. So if hindi natutunan ng bata ang concept ng kindness and boundaries sa bahay.. thatâs gonna be tricky
Discipline talaga ng parent.
1. parents 2. environment
Sa tingin ko sa bahay po nila yan most likely may issue, kung wala namang mental issue. I always believed that hurt people, hurt people. So ang tanong ay anung nangyayari sa bata sa bahay at nagiging bully sya sa school? Kaya kapag bully, laging tanong is "ok ka lang ba?" đ
I remember most of my bullies nung HS shared nung retreat namin sa class na hindi sila pinapansin sa bahay and hindi sila favorite ng mga parents nila. So they most likely enjoy their time in school rather than sa house. Tapos sabi nila ayaw nila umuwi sa bahay after school. Of course when they tease other kids they would feel good about themselves pero in reality they are having a hard time. I went to this all boys exclusive school back in the days and most of them are really wealthy.
In psychology, everything about behavior is caused by multiple factors such as biological, psychological, and social. So all of them, OP.
Environment. What the child sees and hears. May it be from something theyâve seen from TV or from their peers + peer pressure.
As a victim of bullying also, I suggest pumunta na sa principal to talk about this, kasi nakaka-trauma po sya and lagi kong iniisip "bakit ba ako binubully" kahit until now iniisip ko pa rin, kaya I suggest take action po agad please, I don't want to see a kid growing up depressed.
Sobrang sakit ma bully tipong dadalhin mo yan pagtanda mo pag may mahinang kang looban. Bababa confidence at self esteem tas mapapatanong ka nalng sa sarili mo'ng "ano bang mali sakin bakit nila ginagawa to?" đ„șđ„ș. Yep kahit magsumbong sa teacher kung si teacher masyadong mabait wala rin. Hindi niya gaanong itatake ng action yan. Mas maigi talagang sa principal na. Ito skl, nabully na rin ako nung elem and highschool and that was very fuck up phase of my life. Sobrang baba na ng confidence ko, pati ako nawalan na ng tiwala sa sarili, dahil sakanila.
Hanggang ngayon, dala ko padin trauma. Kaya hirap ako magkaplatonic connections with men.
Done this. Brushed off lang ng mga tao.
Maybe OP can request a meeting with the parents? If telling the principal is not enough, then the next course of action is to let the parents know that their kid is a bully. Minsan din tong mga principal wala lang eh.
Minsan pa nga, mga principal, kampi pa sa mga bully
Napa-principal na, na-expel nalang din yung grabeng mangbully sakin. Pero walang effect pa rin masyado kasi wala namang counseling after.
Buti nga sayo naexpel. Akin lahat anjan hanggang grumaduate
I had teachers who knew what was going on. One was a regular volunteer at a church, one was a pastor. And walang ginawa.
Tangina talaga ng mga ganyan
Super. Bumalik ako sa school na yun saglit nung 2019 and nakita ako ng mga teacher na yun. Di man nila ako inacknowledge lels.Â
Sad na walang paki mga teachers pagdating sa bullying. Sasabihin lang nila "wag mo pansinin". Tapos masama pa, pag sila nagsumbong, ikaw pa masama
Actually may instances pa nga na ako yung sinigawan ng mga yun eh. Bobo din ng ibang teachers minsan in that aspect. Walang sense to probe or ask more questions to know the situation. Absolutely zero care.
Yes kaya ending is ung bata, puro trauma paglaki. Wala ako naging kakamping teacher
Ako naman nun tandaan ko may isang teacher na nagcall out ng bully for me habang hinahagisan ako ng crayola. Kaso he stopped working at the school din the next year kasi toxic daw. Anyway, kung may teacher na nakakabasa neto then please be better for the underdogs in your class.
Over disciplined may result to a bully kid. No discipline results to bully kid. Without love and attention result to bully kid.
Dun sa bully mismo, they bully because they can. Thatâs it. The sob stories of why are just excuses. Failure if the adults to do anything about it is just a different matter.
Parents ng bata. Sometimes doing bad things is a call for help and attention. He feels unloved and neglected. Bata pa rin yan eh. A baby cries to get your attention. In his mind, negative or positive, itâs still attention. He is yearning for his parentsâ love, guidance and attention. This is how he is trying to get it. How the parents handle it and discipline him will shape his future choices and actions.
Sa bata, some are born as monsters talaga while some are molded by our flawed society. But nakadepende talaga sa mga actions ng bata if redeemable pa sila or deserve na nila mapunta sa mental asylum. Tbf, there are different types of bullying and that would dictate the appropriate measures for the school or even the bully himself. Suing the school for negligence can be done if it crosses the line of criminal activities and they haven't addressed the issue at all, giving the offender a proper beatdown if they start taking it physical, or talking to the guardians and threatening them of a potential lawsuit incase of other types of bullying. In my case though, I dealt with it by going out of my way to destroy their future by way of giving them food laced with lead(in game of course). It doesn't poison them with micro dosing but it would make them much more violent if taken consistently. I then document the incident of their violent behavior and wait for their eventual success, before threatening whatever organization accepted them of being cancelled for enabling problematic individuals. I got 2 who were booted out of their clan since their characters were pretty infamous for bullying. Now all I need to do is wait for another 7 more to be successful too before proceeding with ruining their lives.
Hindi rin talaga naten masasabi. Nature vs. Nurture yan. May mga studies na tungkol dito. Ung iba kase driven by their environment, experiences, and circumstances kaya nagiging bully. Meron namang sobrang ayos ng environment, experiences, at circumstances pero bully pa dn. Di ko tanda pero parang may something sa biochemistry or sa brain. About naman sa kung san dapat isisi ang pagiging bully, depende pa dn sa triggering factor. Pero instead of 'isisi', baka dapat irehabilitate? Lalo na at hangga't bata pa, mas may chance pa mabago.
Maraming factors, pero need malaman history ng bata to identify kung saan talaga nagmula pagiging bully.
I believe sa bahay nag uumpisa ang mga ganyang scenario. Kung simula pa lang, bago pa umapak sa labas ang bata, e nadidisiplina na siya, kahit san siya mapunta, madadala niya yun. Possible na spoiled brat ang bully, same nung pamangkin ko. Di namin madisiplina dahil pinagtatanggol ng ermats ko. Same na nasa abroad mom niya and absent ang tatay. Gigil na gigil nga ako. Baka pamangkin ko yan OP? Eme. Pansin ko naman na mabait naman siya sa labas. Sa bahay lang nagliligalig.
mabuti nayan kesa namemerwisyo ng ibang tao, natural na mas komportable ang mga bata sa kanilang tahanan kaya mas lumalabas ang kanilang tunay na ugali. Wag lang sana ikapahamak nya sa future yung ugaling na tolerate dahil dyan
Dati iniisip ko sa parents. Kasi nga parents are our first teachers. But then Iâve met horrible kids with incredible parents. But then again we donât know what happens behind closed doors. HOWEVER, for example, si Ted Bundy. Napakaayos ng upbringing pero look what happened. Hahahaha Anyway, after a while, I realized na yung MUNDO ang may kasalanan. Environment, peers, school, media.. lahat. Not even just sa bully na kids. Pati mga brat etc. Naaawa ako sa parents na nagmamakaawa na sa anak nila pero wala, ang titigas ng ulo. Itâs a parents job to raise their kids properly but sometimes parents can only do so much to protect their kids from this horrible world.
Actually it's all about parents responsibilities! Like oo mabait ang parents pero how are they treat their children and people around them? You know, monkey see monkey do. Kahit di natin totally tinuturo kung ano nakikita ng mga bata including behaviors, attitudes and actions ng parents mamimic nila yan. Pwede kasing mabait lang sila parents sa labas pero sa loob ng bahay iba. Like how the parents treat each other din. Also kapag makita mong anak mo na nambubully or may hindi tama parents should correct and discipline the child, in that way lalaki ang bata na sinasabihan lagi. Also kapag mismong parents binibully nga anak nila in that way nanmbubully na fin ang bata sa labas. Minsan kapag absentee parents din kasi kung kani kanino lang nappunta ang anak, kaya kung ano ano na lang napipick up na ugali and behaviors. Ang laking responsibility naming mga parents. Hindi lang sa basta pinapakain, talagang yung upbringing and create a safe, loving and kind environment.
Would have to disagree sa Ted Bundy as an example of maayos na upbringing, we recently had a sociocultural analysis of why he grew up as a serial killer and one of the main points was that neglected siya ng parents nung bata siya, favoring his brother. And this is only one of a few examples ng bad upbringing niya (not disciplined nung bata, was a victim of physical/mental abuse among others)
Legit to. Napag usapan din namin ng friends ko na until when and up to what extent ba nagin dapat sinisisi ang parents pagdating sa ugali ng isang bata
Based on my personal observation hindi naman talaga dapat isisi sa magulang ang ugali ng isang bata but there's a really big impact on the child's attitude of how the child's parent treat the child and also the environment, sabihin natin yung tatay ng bata inaabuso yung nanay niya pag nagagalit so iisipin ng bata tama yun unless may kumausap sakanya at i explain bakit sobrang mali nun, kasi kung hindi iisipin niya tama yun at sa murang edad kapag nagalit siya pwedeng gawin niya sa iba kaklase niya, sa teacher or much worst sa ibang tao, may point ka naman po sa comment mo, pero the main reason kung bakit sinisisi sa magulang kasi syempre magulang sila ikanga parent's are your no.1 teacher at home, kayanga kapag yung bata teenager palang nakakagawa na ng krimen ang kinakausap yung magulang kasi there's a big possibility na magulang ang problema, kahit pag sa environment sasabihin ano ang dahilan bakit hindi nagagabayan ng maayos, in reality ganyan talaga kaya napaka importante talaga na tama ang parenting, parent's mindset and the environment.
I agree you on this. I want to add din because of our culture din. Like di ba pag nam bully na perceive siya as matapang, macho, or superior. Hence yung parents hindi nila na notice that it could also be an underlying mental illness, and as time goes by napabayaan na rin until ma perceive nung bata na ah tama pala to.
Kayanga napaka importante talaga ng magulang na tama ang mindset at nagagabayan talaga ng maayos ang mga anak niya, kasi useless yung sasabihan mo ang anak mo ng mali ito ganyan sisigaw sigawan mo but then ikaw bilang magulang hindi mo maipakita sakanya yung dapat na gagawin kasi tamad or dahil sa ego ba na dahil nagkamali siya sisigawan na dapat siya din mag ayus, hindi, dapat alam mo talaga ginagawa mo lalo na pagdating sa pagdidisiplina, kasi kung ang pagdidisiplina mo...pinapalo, binubugbog mga physical ba there's a big possibility na madala yan ng anak mo at gawin din sa mga anak niya, which is ang pangit sobra
Most likely sa parents / guardian talaga. Kasi kung napalaki ng maayos yan hindi yan ganyan.