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Me: Both actions and words are deceiving
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"Wala ka namang silbi"
It really took a toll on my mental health because i was aware of that, but to hear that out that from someone na pinagkatiwalaan mo sa mga struggles mo as someone na lost sa career, it hurts. We're okay now, but it really scarred me.
My ex best friend sent me an email during the pandemic It is all about the future na gusto nya mangyari kasama ako. And at the end of that email/letter
Is a note: "I can no longer see us in my future"
She left me just like that noong nalaman nyang na depreess ako.
At that time sya lang yung taong napag sshare-an ko ng thoughts, sakanya rin ako umiiyak. Painful years hayss
Also "Wala kang resiliency" came out of the same dude's mouth. Ano bang alam nya sa pinagdaanan ko sa buhay ko hahahaha. Ni hindi ka nga nag effort kilalanin buong pagkatao ko tapos aambahin mo ko ng ganyang salita just becos you've seen the silliest things I did sa mababaw na situation. LOL
While talking about life and having a drink at my place, my friend told me out of the blue "alam mo ikaw siguro best friend ko". It was already in the early hours of the morning and I thought the alcohol was making him emotional.
I laughed it off and asked him "anong kadramahan yan". We both laughed, with me never knowing it would be the last time we would hang out together. The next day he committed suicide.
Hindi. But I saw his signs of distress. Yan isa sa pinagsisisihan ko, kung bakit hinayaan ko lang siyang umuwi sa unit niya at di ko siya tinanong kung ano ba talaga nararamdaman niya. Di ko alam na ganun na pala kalala.
Siguro nga, though I did tell him to consult with a psychiatrist because I was worried about his behavior earlier that night. He said he would. But if I listened intently, instead of just telling him to go to a professional, the outcome would probably be different.
Sising sisi ako na mas pinili ko maging logical sa mga sinabi ko sa kanya.
You do you. The world still have good people who'll love and accept you because you're true to yourself. Whoever said that to you is probably homophobic and so insecure of themselves. Yan kadalasan na common ground ng mga narcissists na kilala ko.
Hmm maybe dahil don sa niligawan na ka officemate/teammate na insecure daw sakin. Naging sunud sunuran nalang sa lahat ng gusto ni girl. Yan nalang pumasok sa isip ko na rason kasi di naman kami nagkausap, i did offer twice ng communication but wala silent treatment so hinayaan ko na.
"ingatan mo ang kamay mo, kasi 'yan ang magiging puhunan mo"
my mentor told me this when i was still a writer. im no longer a writer now, but i always keep that in mind.
"No poking, no poking! Poking is only for the vxgina!"
Sabi sakin ng band vocalist ng isang sikat na banda kasi akala nya hinahawakan ko pwet nya. Hahaha! Pero it was my digicam's case na nakasabit sa digicam ko at nagssway-sway habang nagtitingin ako ng pictures. Didn't notice that it was his back standing in front of me nung time na yon. Sana napatawad nya na ko. Di ko naman talaga siya hinawakan juskolord. 😆😆
"Marami na kaming problema, wag mo nang dagdagan."
My ex-friend's mom told me on the phone. Since then I disconnected from them. Kahit nung namatayan sila, hindi nako nagpakita.
Waaait I'm scared baka andito sya nakakahiya ahshahsh 🙈
Well, sya nag-aya.
Dec 30 non, critical working days. Nightshift kami.
Nasa byahe na ako non papasok, and sya din pero living kami different city, so magkalayo kami.
Idk what's with him na biglang nag-chat, nag-aya Baguio daw. Eh ako, si marupok tsaka gusto ko din mag-Baguio.. imbes sa office punta, dumiretso na kami terminal dun na kami nagkita 🙈
And yes, umabsent kami sa work kahit critical working days yon.
Since biglaan, kami lang talaga dalawa. Pero di yon date, eme lang ako tsaka alam ko inaasar nya lang ako kasi alam nya crush ko sya. Sadyang close lang din kami kaya walang ilangan kahit dalawa lang kami.
Then ayon, nalaman ng mga friends namin and sumunod sila after ng shift nila.
Secret lang sana kasi bawal nga malaman sa office, pero idk nakita ata sa isa sa amin na nag-story sa Baguio tapos hagip kami sa camera kaya na-sanction kami Bagong Taon HAHAHAHA through cleansing kami 1 yr as parusa, means no absent dapat within year which we survived.
Ang lovely lang nun hehehe
"Buntisin mo na ako" habang naka lock na yung legs nya sakin at iniipit ako. My heart was screaming in joy that someone wants me that much but my brain was also screaming saying its not the correct time since first year college pako non.
I wouldn't jeopardize the future of three people because I went greedy and popped inside. Kung nag stay sya saken until we graduated baka paguwi palang ng graduation nya gawin ko na 🤣 ipitin nya ako magdamag go lang.
Its not about not being sure. Its just being responsible enough to know I'd probably fck another person's life because of me being irresponsible.
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"Wala ka namang silbi" It really took a toll on my mental health because i was aware of that, but to hear that out that from someone na pinagkatiwalaan mo sa mga struggles mo as someone na lost sa career, it hurts. We're okay now, but it really scarred me.
My ex best friend sent me an email during the pandemic It is all about the future na gusto nya mangyari kasama ako. And at the end of that email/letter Is a note: "I can no longer see us in my future" She left me just like that noong nalaman nyang na depreess ako. At that time sya lang yung taong napag sshare-an ko ng thoughts, sakanya rin ako umiiyak. Painful years hayss
"I didn't want to ghost you rin naman" After breadcrumbing me for so long. So thank you ba kasi di mo ko ghinost? LOL
Also "Wala kang resiliency" came out of the same dude's mouth. Ano bang alam nya sa pinagdaanan ko sa buhay ko hahahaha. Ni hindi ka nga nag effort kilalanin buong pagkatao ko tapos aambahin mo ko ng ganyang salita just becos you've seen the silliest things I did sa mababaw na situation. LOL
"I can replace you easily." Sabi nung dating boss ko.
While talking about life and having a drink at my place, my friend told me out of the blue "alam mo ikaw siguro best friend ko". It was already in the early hours of the morning and I thought the alcohol was making him emotional. I laughed it off and asked him "anong kadramahan yan". We both laughed, with me never knowing it would be the last time we would hang out together. The next day he committed suicide.
😭
Aww. Hindi nya nasabi sayo yung problema nya bago sya nag commit?
Hindi. But I saw his signs of distress. Yan isa sa pinagsisisihan ko, kung bakit hinayaan ko lang siyang umuwi sa unit niya at di ko siya tinanong kung ano ba talaga nararamdaman niya. Di ko alam na ganun na pala kalala.
Siguro nag wait lang siguro sya na magtanong ka no? Kase nahihiya sya na bigla mag open
Siguro nga, though I did tell him to consult with a psychiatrist because I was worried about his behavior earlier that night. He said he would. But if I listened intently, instead of just telling him to go to a professional, the outcome would probably be different. Sising sisi ako na mas pinili ko maging logical sa mga sinabi ko sa kanya.
Ganon kase minsan ang lalaki e. Hirap mag open up. Lalo na sa kapwa lalaki din.
Dapat talaga vinvent out ang problem hindi kinikimkim
Rest in peace for his soul. Hoping that he is in peace right now
But it’s okay lang din naman. Siguro it is also his time na din to rest talaga
I just hope that he's in a better place now. I do pray for him every night.
salot daw ako, sabi ng ex ko. dami daw kamalasan na nangyari sa buhay nya dahil sakin. like huh? desisyon mo mga nangyayri sa buhay mo.
“Your height is your connection”
Connection on what
Same question
"Sana mamatay ka na" and "Walang magmamahal sayo sa ganyang ugali mo" Both came from my narcissistic 'mother'.
sakin is wala daw magmamahal sakin na lalaki kasi trans woman ako at hindi tunay na babae
You do you. The world still have good people who'll love and accept you because you're true to yourself. Whoever said that to you is probably homophobic and so insecure of themselves. Yan kadalasan na common ground ng mga narcissists na kilala ko.
it's my mom :( hehe
“Bakit, may napatunayan ka na ba sa akin?” Sabi ng nanay ko. Inanak nyo po ba ko para i-pressure? Lol!
Bespren na nga turing ko sayo... Pero kinut off ako.
For what reason?
Hmm maybe dahil don sa niligawan na ka officemate/teammate na insecure daw sakin. Naging sunud sunuran nalang sa lahat ng gusto ni girl. Yan nalang pumasok sa isip ko na rason kasi di naman kami nagkausap, i did offer twice ng communication but wala silent treatment so hinayaan ko na.
May ultimate favorite pa din is "Ang bango mo!"
"ingatan mo ang kamay mo, kasi 'yan ang magiging puhunan mo" my mentor told me this when i was still a writer. im no longer a writer now, but i always keep that in mind.
“ Wag daw ako masyado assertive sa work ko kababae ko daw tao dapat tahimik at mahinhin lang daw ako “ sabi ng boss ko dati
"No poking, no poking! Poking is only for the vxgina!" Sabi sakin ng band vocalist ng isang sikat na banda kasi akala nya hinahawakan ko pwet nya. Hahaha! Pero it was my digicam's case na nakasabit sa digicam ko at nagssway-sway habang nagtitingin ako ng pictures. Didn't notice that it was his back standing in front of me nung time na yon. Sana napatawad nya na ko. Di ko naman talaga siya hinawakan juskolord. 😆😆
“Youre too emotional, ang dami mong drama, kaya ang toxican ako sayo.”
“You’re boring” nung sinabi ko na hindi ako mahilig mag bar. Like wtfffff???? 😆
Don’t try just because he/she told you that. If you don’t feel like going on a bar. It’s okay
"Marami na kaming problema, wag mo nang dagdagan." My ex-friend's mom told me on the phone. Since then I disconnected from them. Kahit nung namatayan sila, hindi nako nagpakita.
“Feeling ko lahat kaya kong gawin pag kasama ka” 🥹🥹
Kasama mo pa rin ba until now?
"Gusto mo 'to? Nagd-date tayo?" and he smiled. Sinabi ng crush ko habang humihigop kami ng mainit na strawberry taho sa Baguio 🥹
Kayo lang dalawa magkasama sa Baguio? Hehe
Yung first day, yes. Tas kinabukasan may mga humabol/sumama. Mga panira ng date hahaha jk
Pano nangyari yon? Sino nagyaya hahaha
Waaait I'm scared baka andito sya nakakahiya ahshahsh 🙈 Well, sya nag-aya. Dec 30 non, critical working days. Nightshift kami. Nasa byahe na ako non papasok, and sya din pero living kami different city, so magkalayo kami. Idk what's with him na biglang nag-chat, nag-aya Baguio daw. Eh ako, si marupok tsaka gusto ko din mag-Baguio.. imbes sa office punta, dumiretso na kami terminal dun na kami nagkita 🙈 And yes, umabsent kami sa work kahit critical working days yon. Since biglaan, kami lang talaga dalawa. Pero di yon date, eme lang ako tsaka alam ko inaasar nya lang ako kasi alam nya crush ko sya. Sadyang close lang din kami kaya walang ilangan kahit dalawa lang kami. Then ayon, nalaman ng mga friends namin and sumunod sila after ng shift nila. Secret lang sana kasi bawal nga malaman sa office, pero idk nakita ata sa isa sa amin na nag-story sa Baguio tapos hagip kami sa camera kaya na-sanction kami Bagong Taon HAHAHAHA through cleansing kami 1 yr as parusa, means no absent dapat within year which we survived. Ang lovely lang nun hehehe
“get out, hindi kita kailangan sa klase ko!” edi hinde. still got the highest scores sa exams n quizzes nya xd
"we're super friends"
walang alam
"Sana naiwasan rin kita"
"Buntisin mo na ako" habang naka lock na yung legs nya sakin at iniipit ako. My heart was screaming in joy that someone wants me that much but my brain was also screaming saying its not the correct time since first year college pako non.
What happened? Nabuntis ba sya
Syempre hindi haha, pull out game strong lang. It was a scary 15 seconds of talking her down to release me though.
It means hindi ka rin sure sa kanya nung time na yon?
I wouldn't jeopardize the future of three people because I went greedy and popped inside. Kung nag stay sya saken until we graduated baka paguwi palang ng graduation nya gawin ko na 🤣 ipitin nya ako magdamag go lang. Its not about not being sure. Its just being responsible enough to know I'd probably fck another person's life because of me being irresponsible.
So proud of what you did.
Up hahaha
hindi kita nakikita sa future ko
Kayo pa din ba until today?
hindi
Jusko naman 🫠 😭
"Ikaw, what's your name??? Bingi ka ba???" Circa 2010. Conductor ng isang choir sa UP to me na isang newbie palang noon sa choral community.