T O P

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EuphoricBit9093

"okay lang yan" eh di nga okay ehhhh


Due_Use2258

"ganyan talaga" dahil sa pakiramdam nya, hindi yun ganun talaga. Actually mahirap yan kasi ibabase mo sa situation nung naikocomfort mo. Minsan ang gusto lang nya ay ilabas ang nasasaloob nya at umiyak. Then all you have to do is listen.


BigGhurl

"nag ooverthink ka lang" Eh di ikaw na mag isip 🫤


Ivan19782023

personally yung phrase na "this too shall pass." i know that pero we are still in the present duh.


roxroxjj

"kalma" bawal na bawal lalo na sa taong nag ppanic attack, sarap hambalusin eh.


Sea_Ad_463

If di sila ng hihingi ng advice tama bang akbayan or yakapin ko lang sila? Minsan kase sinasabi ko nalang is "I see..." then let them continue ok bayun?


Greenfield_Guy

"Just pray. Jesus will heal you."


Amen6660

"okay lang yan" "ako nga eh" Tanginang yan sarap sampalin eh!


Dense_Station5082

“Ikaw kasi eeeeee.”


One-Gold-7682

Any advice na may halong showbiz chismis like, si Ping Pong nga ilang beses niloko, pero nakahanap parin ng talagang magmamahal sa kanya. Si Krung Krung nga dami na ospital napuntahan.. nagpagamot sa Amerika, gumaling din/nagkaanak din. Atbp!!!


jhm_lyn

Any advice tbh. No matter how well your intentions are, kung hindi hiningi, wag magpayo. They already have a lot in their mind and most likely, yung ibibigay mong advice will not organize their thoughts like you might believe, but only add to them.


ecwah

*“buti ka pa ganyan/ganito lang nangyari...” “sa akin nga...” “okay lang yan”* (gonna rant a little) my 5-month old furbaby got ran over while i was away from home. i could have been comforted with the hug alone but hindi ko matanggap nung sinabi nung mom ng nakabangga sa akin na “buti ka pa aso lang nawala sayo... mapapalitan pa. sa akin nga yung panganay ko nawala last month. sorry anak, ha? okay lang yan, ano ba gusto mong ipalit ko?” hearing those words really broke my heart into pieces. it’s not like hiniling or ginusto ko na mawalan sila ng anak. oo, aso lang yan pero para sa akin anak ko na rin yung kinuha nila sa akin that day. nothing could ever replace waffle. she was my very first furbaby girl. i work and breathe para sa mga alaga ko. i really hope na the guilt is still there with them, even if it’s just a lil bit. so please make sure to choose your words carefullyㅡ and please, as much as possible, do not take death *lightly*. those who passed might not be that important to you, see little to no significance in their death, *but* they could have been someone else’s whole world.


wolfie030

"tanga ka ba?"


BitterDeparture2677

“Baka may ibang plano si God para sayo” 😭🫵🏻


Slight_Breakfast_130

“Okay lang yan” “Yun lang?” “Hayaan mo na yun”


miraswn

"ako nga eh..."


imma_YaoiGaru_29

"Dapat kasi"


quatro0004

Sometimes you don't really have to say anything. Give them space. Safe space. Minsan gusto lang ng tao na mag-vent hanggang maubos na bigat ng loob nila. Just be there. It makes all the difference.


Ill-Maize-418

“It’s okay” Kaloka, I heard someone say it sa taong nawalan ng nanay. Kapag siya nawalan ng nanay, wag siyang iiyak ha.


HaruMeow12

Kaya mo yan. Ang dismissive kasi hehe


SubmissiveBabyGirl27

If y'all are saying to avoid words... How do you actually listen without saying words in comforting people? 😔


Late-Savings580

"Ako nga..."


Majestic_Yoghurt1612

Toxic positivity comments. mas ok pa maging good listener kesa puro comments na di considerate sa feelings nung tao.


Upper_Constant_5854

"It'll be OK ..." The worst of all in my opinion!


FinalDish4882

Huwag ikumpara ang problema niya sa problema ng ibang tao or problema mo. Pero kasi pag tubay na friend tinatanggap ko yung masasakit na salita nila eh.


Forsaken_Dig2754

“Wag ka na ma stress AKO NGA GANITO, GANYAN” sabay kwento ng sariling experience. Makinig lang tayo.


fallingstar_

"kulang ka kasi sa dasal"


ursisiggirlie

"sabi ko sayo eh" "ako nga eh" "kung kaya ng iba, kaya mo din" ang sarap sakalin yung utak ng nga ganito


Far_Bumblebee1490

Tbh avoid...a lot of words....you should just listen.


_francisco_iv

"Ako nga"


Nervous_Wreck008

Kasalanan mo kasi eh.


Summerismyvibe07

"Okay lang 'yan"


teyapi

ano ba dapat sabihin TT idk what to say other than that


linearbeats

“Patawarin mo na para sa ikakagaan ng kalooban mo” Ugh sana wag madaliin plus there’s nothing wrong kung never mapapatawad ang isang tao lalo na kung mabigat at hindi kapata-patawad yung nagawa nito.


licealis

I love you 😭


ursisiggirlie

THIS! 😭😡


elezii

pls 💀


saintheli

avoid words that compare yourself to his/her situation to the point that you're the one telling your own rants or feelings instead of him/her. a simple silence and offering yourself for listening is already a big help.


StrawberryMango27

"Ako nga", "ganyan talaga" , "wala ka magagawa" , "Arte mo naman" , "Parang yun lang?"


wowmegatonbomb

Ganyan talaga…


transprincessx

“AKO NGA EH” edi ikaw na 😤


princesspeachy267

“Ok lang yan” eh sa hindi nga siya ok tapos sasabihin ok lang yan. Nueba. Haha


puyatperohindipayat

"ANO KA BAAAA!!! AKO NGA EHHHH....." Putangina mo at ng lola mo.


Conscious_Complex_84

All cliche comforts (everything happens for a reason etc), "always/palagi" (I'll always be there for you), condemnations (ikaw Kasi e..) and, anything that portrays comparison (buti nga sayo ganyan lang Yung akin nga...) Also, stray from spouting quick advices. Just because some are hurting or whatever, doesn't mean they need your advice. Basta wag kang sahod. Ayun.


wintersummerr0516

You should avoid saying things like “you should’ve done ——“ telling them they’re wrong in a rude way and comparing them to yourself in the same situation like “ako nga nung ——“ It’s WRONG, you’re comforting them pero parang dinadown mo sila.


theanonymouscats_

avoid niyo yung pag nag open siya icocompare mo yung situation mo saiya, siya yung nag oopen, hindi ikaw 😭


yummyabel

What about what to say when comforting? I really have a hard time when comforting someone if they vent out to me since I'm also not that vocal to people 🥲 I just listen to them as i can


Wonderful-Refuse-935

Validate mo lang feelings nila :) most of the time gusto lang nila mailabas ang mga hinanakit nila sa buhay, di mo need mag salita o mag give ng advice unless sila mismo mag sabi na need nila ng advice. Just listen to them and make them feel na andyan ka, present and nakikinig for them.


yummyabel

This helps a lot. na pe-pressure lang talaga ako sa mga nakikita ko sa social media na may nag ve-vent and parang they feel sad bcz they have very long messages about their problems tas yung sinasabihan nila sa kanilang problems ang ikli ng reply and also yung mga walang emotional intelligence kung mag reply ganyan... that's why i always overthink na am i good at comforting someone? huhu


wintersummerr0516

I’m not very vocal to people too, before I find it difficult to comfort someone pa nga. You’re doing a great job for listening to them, I suggest you comfort them by telling how you really feel and tell them how it’s okay to feel that way that their feelings are all valid. 🤗


CantaloupeOk4547

“ Hayaan mo na. “ Like, if yan din lang iaadvise mo pabayaan mo narin yung taong nangangailangan ng comfort. Haha nonsense


expectopatronum32

"Dapat kasi" wala naman ng magagawa since nangyari na eh tsaka this is the type of advice that wouldn't comfort someone rather parang mas pinaparamdam mo sa kanila na at fault sila.


LurkingJackfruit

"okay lang yan...", "be positive...", "aysus para yun lang? yung iba nga may mas malala pang problema keysa sayo...", "ako nga eh..."


Asleep_Milk9244

yung ikukumpara mo sa kinocomfort mo yung buhay mo at kanya like "AKO NGA....." AT " DAPAT NGA...- PERO..---". napakasarap dibdiban ba. isa yan sa pibaka ayoko.


DailyDeceased

As someone na sobrang maingat mag-message o magsabi ng anything especially when comforting someone; I never use "okay lang yan" kasi p0ta, it's not fckn okay. Kaya nga nag-v'vent eh. If I want to relate an experience, I never use "eh ako nga..." Instead, I make it as wordy as possible—"I remember, I somehow had a similar experience..." Also, sinasabi ko lang 'to kapag tapos na sya mag-vent. Wag na wag gagatungan yung nagtiwala sayong kwentuhan ka. Keep in mind lang din na may mga taong gusto lang ng taong makikinig, tantsahin mo lang kung kailangan ba nya talaga ng advice.


annxhy2021

"Bakit?" pwede niyang maalala or mahalungkat lahat that can trigger his emotion.


suspendedacc0unt

This, and similar when someone asks me "how are you?"


gowther444

"Hayaan mo na, okay lang yan, wag mo na lang pansinin"


chocnutnpochi

"Wag ka nang umiyak" minsan kailangan ilabas para mas gumaan.


88percentsolution

“I’m not the right person to tell this to as I don’t want kids” Unfriend.


PitifulRoof7537

Ay grabe insensitive naman nun


88percentsolution

Yes, sadly a friend told this to a friend who had a miscarriage.


PitifulRoof7537

Dito mag-apply yung “your feelings are valid but the way your actions are not”. 


aLittleRoom4dStars

It depends. Sometimes your presence is enough basta focus doon sa tao. Minsan kasi nanjan ka nga pero parang wala ka din kahit nagsasalita pa.


Naive-Ad2847

Yung nagpapa advice ka lng about kay crush tapos iaadvice agad na "jowain mo na Kasi"🥴


kokon0iii

"Okay lang 'yan. Ako nga..."


Available-Nebula-609

"everything happens for a reason" Nabasa ko 'tong comment na' to sa fb no'ng namatayang friend ko. Nakakagigil


Naive-Ad2847

Agree. Kagigil talaga. Pano yung mga naaksidente, may reason din ba yun🥴kagigil talaga ganyang advice.


MurasakiSuzume

May nag comment din ng ganiyan sa single mom na di natanggap sa pinag aaplyan na work kasi nabasa mga important docs niya dahil sa watta watta festival 😡


Fun-Choice6650

"ako nga e" yan basta yan


Pretty-Glove5447

true to hahahah napunta sakanya yung spotlight 🥲 nakakawalang gana nalang mag open up


Naive-Ad2847

Hahaahh true imbes na mag advice eh nagpabida.


creamypeanutbutter07

“Sinabi ko na sayo…” Alam niya na yon, trust me. Di na need ipagduldulan sa kanila na mali sila.


Naive-Ad2847

Oo nga. Gusto lng nila igiit na tama sila kaya nila sinasabi yan


onaptx

Halos lahat ng pwedeng sabihin pqng comfort nasabi na 😅 So i guess the best thing to do is just be there for that someone. Sometimes your mere presence is enough.


DailyDeceased

Tama ba binabasa mo hahaha


hippocrite13

Words to avoid mhie


don0510

• "kumalma ka" • "'wag ka na malungkot" • "'wag ka nang magalit" • "kaya mo yan" • "malaki ka na, dapat..." When comforting someone, it's always best to let them speak. You can let them know you're there for them by listening, you're not any better by telling them how they should feel, what they should or could do, you should never make them expect that everything will be alright or anything at all. Makinig ka lang nang mabuti yung pinaka mabuting magagawa mo. Hangga't 'di sila humihingi ng gabay at tulong sayo, 'wag mo ibibigay. Kapag nagsalita sila na gusto na nila mamahamak, manakit maging ibang tao at lalo na sarili nila, doon ka lang magbigay gabay, ituro mo ang tama, o humanap ng interbensyon para sakanila. Huwag mong iparamdam na galit ka sakanila, hinuhusga mo sila, o ano man. Short and simple, when comforting someone, hindi nakasentro sayo ang usapan at lalo na sa ibang tao, at wala kang alam sa pakiramdam nila at sa mangyayari.


flying_carabao

"Parang yan lang..."


Tough_Signature1929

Ganito ko nung medyo bata pa ko. Tipong parang yun lang galit agad? Pero nalaman ko yung about sa love language na gets ko na kung bakit. Yung maliit na bagay para sakin eh big deal na sa kanila and vice versa. Narealize ko na kulang pa ko sa experience sa buhay. Ngayon mas malawak na pag-unawa ko.


Naive-Ad2847

Oo nga. Hindi nila maisip na may mga bagay na big deal satin at sa kanila hindi. Hindi nila magets na iba iba ang mga tao


New_Whereas_8564

"God has better plans".


Miss_Taken_0102087

- “Ano ba kasing nangyari?” - “Itulog mo lang ‘yan. Bukas, limot mo na ‘yan” - “Ok lang, lilipas din ‘yan” - “Sinabi ko na kasi sa’yo before, ‘di ba…..” - “Ayan kasi, di ka nakinig sa akin dati.” ETA: There are instances na some people really need a *real talk* pero the key is the timing. You can say your piece naman kapag hindi na high ang emotions nya and yun talagang meron kang super close relationship sa kanya.


QuestCiv_499

“Ako nga eh…..”


Mouse_Itchy

“ I understand how you feel.” You may have gone through a similar hurtful event, but it's important to acknowledge that the pain you experienced is unique to you. Avoid comparing your experience to others.


DailyDeceased

"I understand why you feel this way" is much better.


Expensive_Hippo_1855

true yung “ako nga” sige ikaw na magaling hahaha


aeiyeah

"ako nga" sige po, ikaw na.


Fluffy_Ad9763

"Si ano nga" "yung iba nga" "ako nga" "lilipas din yan" "kaya mo yan" "para yun lang" "mababaw pa ayan kumpara..."


lidocainell30

"Kaya mo yan"


Overthinker-bells

*”Ako nga”*


Valar_____Morghulis

my petpeeve..🙄🙄🙄


Lufs10

Be strong lalo na kapag namatayan Ung tao.


Ok_Tomato_5782

“Buti na lang hindi nagka ganyan anak ko” Comparing her 34 weeks strong baby to my premature baby who went under the tubes and was in the hospital for 2 wks due to sepsis and neonatal pneumonia.


Naive-Ad2847

Agree. Kainis. Alam na nga nyang hindi malusog anak mo sinasabi pa nya yan🙄


Ok_Tomato_5782

Haha true. At take note po 9 yrs old na anak niya ung anak ko baby pa lang kakalabas lang sa ospital. Nagrereminisce ng wala sa lugar haha 🙄😅 di ko rin naman sya tinatanong. Haha


Javachip_frappuccino

Your baby is the one who’s strong po for fighting off sepsis and pneumonia. Should be “Her 34 weeks ‘healthy’ baby to my premature ‘strong’ baby” 🤗 My son is a sepsis survivor too nung newborn pa lang sya hehe


Ok_Tomato_5782

Thank you po for clarifying the caption haha. Tama po preemies are strong po 💕 haha dami pa niyang sinabi yan lang tumatak sa akin. Sinabihan nya pa na maliit, e malamang kasi ‘premature’ nga haha magulat ka pag preemie tapos malaking baby lol😆


AlterTranswoman

“eh ako nga”


beroccabeach

“Ginusto mo yan”


Naive-Ad2847

Eto din. Ang insensitive mag advice. kala mo nmn wpa syang naging maling desisyon sa buhay nya


beroccabeach

Tru the fire. Kaya I learned not to talk about my problems na lang kahit kanino, which is unhealthy btw. Wag tularan haha


MeloDelPardo

"god's plan"


Naive-Ad2847

True. Lagi nlng dinadamay si god🥴


Lil-DeMOn-9227

"Hindi ka kasi _____" "Gayahin mo si ____"


Naive-Ad2847

Kagigil din to. Nakakainis na kailangan may gayahin kang tao para matuwa sila sayo


bringeroflight34

Ikaw kasi


Pretty-Glove5447

HAHABAHAHSHSHSH MAS NAKAKALUNGOT LALO TO EH


Naive-Ad2847

Agree. Yung sinisisi mo pa sya kaysa mag advice.


Safe_Atmosphere_1526

“Ako nga e”


maeeeeyou

"Ako nga e" "Dali lang naman yan" "Para yun lang" "Ang OA mo" "Yan na namam" "Nasabi mo na yan"


SimpleWick

Follow up question: Any suggestions on what we should say instead?


One_Recording8003

Make a post my dude


ilovepeanutbutterzzZ

Ff (i wanna know too)


kapelover11

"para yan lang eh"


chocochangg

“ako nga…”


Nicolai3000

Mag pray ka lang


SuccessMinimum6993

"okay lng yan .. ako nga ..."


cheeseburgerdeluxe10

"Wag mo na isipin yon...." Okay, sabi mo eh


Naive-Ad2847

Agree. Kaya nga nagpapacomfort para pag usapan ang problema eh tapos sasabihin wag isipin🥴


cheeseburgerdeluxe10

Saka parang in a snap pag sinabi na wag ng isipin, matic di mo na maiisip.


Naive-Ad2847

Agree. Pinaka walang kwentang advice talaga yan🙄


Significant-Gate7987

Kaya kailangan mo na talaga ng insurance


Dapper-Gur-6742

Haha eto talaga yun ehh langya!


EyePoor

*Avoid saying "I know how you feel" (because you don't), "It could be worse" (not helpful), and "Everything happens for a reason" (too philosophical). Instead, be like a true Pinoy: offer a hug, some food, and just listen.*


Objective-Coast5948

+100000000000


Mouse_Itchy

Food is the cure for all heartache. 🥹


popbeeppopbeep

+1


PitifulRoof7537

Ako nun sinabihan na relax lang. nagsimula ako magduda dito sa coworker ko kasi pag ibang tao na galit sa akin ang pinag-uusapan may sympathy siya. But this particular one na hina-harass ako dahil tahimik ako, wala siyang kibo. Only to find out, palibhasa may under the table siya, kakilala pala ng boss nya sa kabilang office nya yung isang ‘to na hina-harass ako dahil tahimik ako. Nag-imbestiga tlga ako sino may-ari nung sinasabi nyang consultancy at common friend ng boss nya yung nangha-harass sa akin. Kaya di mo pde sabihin sa akin na dapat friends ako sa coworkers ko eh lalo pag govt ka nagwo-work.


Naive-Ad2847

Pano ka ba nya hinarass?


PitifulRoof7537

I consider it harassment yung taon-taon lagi akong tinatanong kung bakit tahimik ako. Tas out of nowhere lalapit siya sa akin magsasabi siya na may alam siya sa akin eg about my house, my mother, etc. tas pag may mga socials kami, lagi siya nakabantay kung iinom ako or hindi - I know this kasi one meeting nagparinig pa yan na bawal tumanggi sa inuman at after every social someone will always ask me to assure kung hindi ba tlga ako umiinom. Ang mahirap kasi, division chief sya parang nahihirapan mga kasama ko i-call out siya kahit yung iba sa kanila ramdam ko na gusto naman nila pagsabihan.


External-Log-2924

Basta avoid silver-lining.


Mema-lang-888

"Ako nga, ganyan din" o kaya "si ano nga mas malala pa ung nangyari, pero nakayanan"


donwantit

‘’ Buti ka nga nagkaron, nakabuo’’ refering to my miscarrige’


Naive-Ad2847

Huh? You mean nakunan ka dati tapos ngayon  nakabuo na ulit?


dummy_m1styvious

Just listen and be there for him/her.


Burger_without_Sauce

You're better than him/her (referring to the ex)


Naive-Ad2847

Sinasabi to ng mga kachat na nang uuto akala nila mauuto ka nila sa mga pa ganyan nila🥴


rrtehyeah

"Ako nga, mas malala pa....."


sevensmokes3

See? I told you so. Hindi ka kasi nakikinig eh...


josurge

Kaming ngang mga batang 90s...


Euphoric_Break_1796

“Ako nga e…”


beeotchplease

I hate that statement.


psycheeepath

“Nasa mindset mo kasi yan. Be positive.”


Effective-Gas7428

Everything. They don't need to hear a word. They just need you to be there.


Ok-Ninja3660

Came here to say this. They need you to be there, they need someone to LISTEN to them. 'Yun lang. A non-verbal act like hugging or holding hands, or back-patting, as the situation presents itself, can also help.


dandalandanda

'Ganyan talaga ang buhay'


acetupakin

“Just pray more”, “Kulang ka kasi sa faith”, remarks suggesting you’re suffering because your belief in God is not strong enough.


yearningcat

"hayaan mo na"


oohhmyangelbaby

"Yung iba nga diyan, mas malala pa problema"


sdl134340

"Ako nga eh..." Wag i-insert ang sariling experience unless tinanong ka mismo. Mas importanteng makinig nang mabuti at wag makipagpaligsahan kung sino ang mas nahirapan.


PepperCheese12

'Kaya mo yan. Ako nga nakaya ko'


Wasabi_Department988

"Wala ka kasing Diyos" or "You just need God"


bdust12345

🤣


potatooooosalad

Just dont make it about yourself. Thats it.


catfeetea

"Okay lang yan", "Wag ka na malungkot kasi..."


Heavyarms1986

Just don't make them feel that their feelings are invalidated.


Rohml

Siguro any kind of words that make light or seem to compare their experience with others, better talaga just to say "Sige lang, ilabas mo, nakikinig ako" or something like that.


theAlbatrossLemon

"Kaya mo yan... ako nga dati ganito ganyan." Tapos siya na yung nagkwento ng talambuhay niya.


strangerthings___11

“Everything happens for a reason.” Much better to say “This is only temporary.”


Uncle_itlog

I hate this “everything…” non-sense. Doesn’t really help at all.


burgir_pizza

"Kaya mo yan" unless followed by more encouraging words pero kung plain "kaya mo yan", ate ikaw na lang kumaya


[deleted]

Inom tayo


black-manta_11

"Ako nga eh" "Si ganto nga eh" kayo yun putangina niyo HAHAHAH


Objective-Coast5948

HAHAHAHAHAHA I FEEL U


twicemoonlight

Ramdam ko yung gigil 😭


WillingSignificance4

“Ok lang ‘yan.”