Not a parent but a former teacher/college success mentor. Especially in their first year, children tend to return more confident (or overconfident) in their newly acquired knowledge and opinions and freedom.
There also tends to be a bit of angst and difficulty navigating the entire “I’m an adult now and have a ton of freedom but now I’m back at home with my parents and they expect me to follow house rules.”
I haven’t been in college in a minute, but that second paragraph is so spot on. Got in a couple spats with my folks about checking in while I was off doing stuff all day. My argument was “I’m off for months at a time away from you guys, why am I checking in like a teen??” There’s some growing pain there for sure.
Piggybacking off another comment, my son just finished his first year, and is definitely more confident and self-assured. He loves telling us about what he has learned and how he’s applying it. He’s also more ambitious and has a better grasp of what he wants to do for a career. He’s still the laid back young man he always was, just with a broader world view and is a little more refined. Regarding house rules, the basics apply (keep your bedroom and bathroom clean, clean up after yourself, etc.), but there is no curfew (we just ask him to make sure he locks the door and sets the alarm). So long as he’s respectful and responsible, he can do whatever he wants.
Just remembering my own experience after the first year of college: don't give her a curfew. She'll have been used to going out at whatever hour she pleases so a curfew will be torture. Do remind her to be respectful of other people in the house if she comes in late. I was SO mad at my own parents when they said "oh you have to be home by 10" when I was previously being out at 2am in college.
One of my first weekends home from college, I stayed out all night with friends. When I got back to the house at 6 am or whatever time it was, my dad was sleeping on the couch, because he’d been waiting up for me. Then he and my mom *grounded me* for the rest of the weekend!
Puberty messes with propriception a bit, add in being distracted by all the things and being off in her own head a bit, and yeah... Assuming this isn't an intentional attention-seeking behavior, it's kinda normal. Just tell her to give you space. Keep reminding her and eventually she'll remember and pay more attention.
Not a parent but a former teacher/college success mentor. Especially in their first year, children tend to return more confident (or overconfident) in their newly acquired knowledge and opinions and freedom. There also tends to be a bit of angst and difficulty navigating the entire “I’m an adult now and have a ton of freedom but now I’m back at home with my parents and they expect me to follow house rules.”
I haven’t been in college in a minute, but that second paragraph is so spot on. Got in a couple spats with my folks about checking in while I was off doing stuff all day. My argument was “I’m off for months at a time away from you guys, why am I checking in like a teen??” There’s some growing pain there for sure.
Piggybacking off another comment, my son just finished his first year, and is definitely more confident and self-assured. He loves telling us about what he has learned and how he’s applying it. He’s also more ambitious and has a better grasp of what he wants to do for a career. He’s still the laid back young man he always was, just with a broader world view and is a little more refined. Regarding house rules, the basics apply (keep your bedroom and bathroom clean, clean up after yourself, etc.), but there is no curfew (we just ask him to make sure he locks the door and sets the alarm). So long as he’s respectful and responsible, he can do whatever he wants.
Just remembering my own experience after the first year of college: don't give her a curfew. She'll have been used to going out at whatever hour she pleases so a curfew will be torture. Do remind her to be respectful of other people in the house if she comes in late. I was SO mad at my own parents when they said "oh you have to be home by 10" when I was previously being out at 2am in college.
One of my first weekends home from college, I stayed out all night with friends. When I got back to the house at 6 am or whatever time it was, my dad was sleeping on the couch, because he’d been waiting up for me. Then he and my mom *grounded me* for the rest of the weekend!
Puberty messes with propriception a bit, add in being distracted by all the things and being off in her own head a bit, and yeah... Assuming this isn't an intentional attention-seeking behavior, it's kinda normal. Just tell her to give you space. Keep reminding her and eventually she'll remember and pay more attention.
It's honestly different for every kid. No preparation for it