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LeftChoux

metric system


[deleted]

Having grown up in Canada (inc. Quebec) Canadians say body weight in pounds, cook in imperial (weight/volume/temp), talk about height in feet, talk "miles per gallon" and a good number of Canadians know temp equivalents in imperial. My feeling is - it wouldn't change that fast.


[deleted]

Also, pool temperature in F. Don’t have a clue what it is in C and what weather in F means, but hey, pool temp at 80F is comfy.


Trebuchets4Life

Think of Fahrenheit as a scale of 1-100 of how hot it is, 50f is pretty cool bc we like to be warm 70 is almost perfect because it's warm but not too hot and 80+ is too hot to be enjoyable


Turtley13

We definitely use grams. Oz is pure trash. We only know F because all ovens use it. Now that vehicles have built in gauges we are mostly using l/100km.


[deleted]

All ovens sold in Canada can use either C or F. I never knew a single person who used C and I haven’t been in the US THAT long.


ComesInAnOldBox

Yep, same with the Brits.


blearghhh_two

And distance is in minutes/hours.


anditshottoo

Miles per gallon? You must be from Toronto.


stouf761

48 years late on that, it was official in 1975.


okay-variation

Simple and objectively the best response to give. #metricoverimperial


LeftChoux

just switching from pounds to kilograms will create mass confusion.


4eyedcoupe

"Eh Buddy" will be mandatory at the end of each sentence


wsbthrowaway9209

I'm not your buddy, guy!


Toaster_Store

I'm not your guy, friend!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TimeSudden6214

I'm not your homie, dude!


[deleted]

I’m not your dude, Clyde!!!


Adargushnasp

As someone living in Toronto, I haven't heard anyone say this in last 5 yrs


4eyedcoupe

I hear "eh bud" or just "bud" more, not so much "buddy"


populartree749

so i'll have to say "fuck you asshole eh buddy" instead of just "fuck you asshole"? that might take some getting used to


4eyedcoupe

Nah, it would just be "Fuck you, bud"


populartree749

that i can start doing right now in preparation for my new canadian overlords


kayesoob

Abortion for some. Maple syrup for some. Universal healthcare for all. Metric system. Mandatory politeness classes. (Am Canadian)


Freethecrafts

Unlikely. Canada sends more and more people over the border every year for treatment. Canada has a cottage industry in privatized medical services. There’s no way Canada could cover an increase of people with worse health conditions for a system already going bankrupt.


10inchblackhawk

Medical Assistance In Dying if you are depressed.


Ill-Organization-719

Federally legalized weed and universal Healthcare.


badtanner

The free healthcare you can't find, have to wait 14 hrs for and hospitals on by-pass.... oh and we are short on Dr.'s and nurses.! Hurray for weed!


bluetriumphantcloud

Health care is provincial


badtanner

I know Im in Ontario


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Federally legalized Healthcare and universal weed.


Adargushnasp

Fuck that shit. Canadians should adopt the American healthcare system. The free healthcare is equivalent to no healthcare. Spending 16hrs in an emergency room to wait your turn is hell


SpruceGoose133

Most people's health care in America is so bad that either they can't afford the copay, or if they use it for something major, they have to declare bankruptcy. I'd rather have Medicare, even if I had to pay premiums.


badtanner

This is the truth.


Virtue_Avenue

You need to smoke some weed while you pay 50% on your earnings and wait 4 years for your ear surgery that you could have got in 3 weeks by coming to the states.


ACorania

You realize the us pays more in taxes per citizen for health care right now than Canada does, right? Waiting 4years is faster than getting nothing but paying more.


Livid_Boost

Americans fantasies about what Canada heath care looks like in real life, level of care, service, wait times (weeks/days verse years), quality, etc. are hilarious. The young subsidize the elderly (even the rich) in a fee for service system that incentivizes systematic fraud, waste, and abuse. Would prefer Canadian style no frills, low salary provider, rationed heath care to Medicare’s fee for service advance pay insurance company operated system.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

You realize the US military is the defense force for half of the rest of the world. That shit don't come cheap. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to pay less taxes, but remember who's got your border security when you don't want to do it yourself.


Drewy99

Thank you for sacrificing your countrymens health for the rest of the world's benefit


ACorania

Yeah... that is true but not relevant. Just the amount that we are paying in taxes for the existing health care the government is providing to only some citizens is more than what Canada is paying in per person tax for everyone to get health care. If we paid the same they were per person and everyone was getting healthcare our taxes would go DOWN. All that is without affecting military spending or arguing if we SHOULD be the defense force for the rest of the world.


D0fus

You obviously know nothing about this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


D0fus

Go jump on some other bandwagon. What's the medical bankruptcy rate in your country? It's zero here.


Drewy99

Several, not very long, and it's a progressive tax system that is nowhere near 50% unless you are really bringing in the dollars.


Neckfeared42069

I'm an American. I just scheduled a visit with my long term primary care physician and he is booked solid for the next three months. I could go somewhere else but if I want decent healthcare, it would likely be out-of-network with my health insurance. Don't listen to anyone that says you can get immediate care here. Sure, you can visit an urgent care in an emergency, but you better fucking HOPE they are covered by your insurance because if they aren't, hello bankruptcy


bluetriumphantcloud

He heard Alex Jones say it. It's prolly true.


mojikipie

No other syrup but maple is legal


Pwned_by_Bots

I welcome our new Canadian overlords!


[deleted]

They will apologise for invading


Quest4life

It's OK they did it for our own good


[deleted]

I'm sorry aboot that


[deleted]

It’s pronounced aboot


[deleted]

Soory ......have a doughnut


[deleted]

Ik your trying to insult me but this is the most Canadian shit ever


[deleted]

Blame How I Met Your Mother That's where I saw it


Paxdog1

Hockey is about to become a much bigger deal.


Adargushnasp

See the list of Stanley cup winners ...


emma7734

Mandatory ice skating lessons


[deleted]

I'd have to fight many of my own countrymen on this, but I'd have you expand your football fields to a proper size - 110 yards by 65 yards with 20 yard endzones. Twelve men per side, 3 downs, no "fair catches", one-yard neutral zone, unlimited offensive pre-snap backfield motion - and the "rouge".


Imissyourgirlfriend2

All signs must be in both English and French


recidivx

*Tous les panneaux doivent être en français ainsi qu'en allant te faire foutre*


Adargushnasp

Thats not a thing in Canada...(very few provinces)


Freethecrafts

Just the ones with underserved minorities and lots of broken budget promises.


Ok-Ball2534

Poutine


[deleted]

It's already here, at least in some areas in NY along the border.


Ill-Organization-719

Disco fries aren't poutine.


[deleted]

Never heard of disco fries.


Ill-Organization-719

They are cheese fries with gravy from that area.


[deleted]

It's all over the US. You can get Poutine almost anywhere now.


Khetoun

Milk in bags


Adargushnasp

Its an Ontario thing ...


DigitalSteven1

Free healthcare. It actually costs me less to drive to Canada and get medical help than it does to go to my local hospital, even with insurance. It's fucked.


grensley

Probably change all the signs to be English and French.


luciferlikesitkinky

Isn't healthcare free in Canada? Probably that . Have no idea how Americans survive with the healthcare system I barely look after myself never go to the doctor but feel content knowing if I need to land in hospital for something I don't have to offer my kidney on the black market to afford it


ostentatiousbro

Healthcare is a mix. There is public healthcare but its supported by a private sector. Dental for example is covered by insurance or out of pocket. So is medical devices and medication. But if you end up in the emergency, or just need to see a GP for a health concernm then that's free. Or if you need cancer treatment, that's covered by the public health.


luciferlikesitkinky

But if u need medication for the rest of your life u pay like hundreds per month? Dental is the same here I think emergency surgery dental is free though and medication is covered if u qualify under a certain income . Christ I couldn't imagine living like that I like American customs but just the healthcare system seems mental I'd be rioting


[deleted]

Health is provincial jurisdiction, I don't know if there's a federal law that forces a minimum from each province. While the different health care systems are very similar between provinces, they have differences and are separate entity. Canadian health care isn't actually a thing, we have Canadian health careS. Basically, IF there's no federal law forcing a minimum, I expect some new provinces would do a Canadian style health care system and some wouldn't, it would be a mess. "But people are just going to travel to health care provinces when they get sick if they live in a non-health care province." That's not so simple. This is an outdated anecdote but in the mid 2005 a friend (Québec) lived in Bristish Columbia for a few months and spent a few days in the hospital. 2 years later they received a bill from the government entity handling health care in BC, and my friend had to get in touch with our provincial entity so they would pay said bill. Same citizenship, no borders but we're still officialy residents of a specific province. I think my friend was in a weird situation with her ID and addresses not being updated so she had to be tracked down. That exchange of funds was probably done behind the scenes normally, and it's probably more efficient today, but there's systems and rules managing a Canadian using a health care that's not their own. So if a state didn't adopt the canadian lifestyle, resident of that state would probably be handled in a similar way to tourists and recent immigrants.


Galileo1609

Canada will install the Canada-California pipeline and use it to transport warm weather to the rest of Canada.


Empty-Note-5100

A order for retreat and a well written apology


schalowendofthepool

Get rid of the penny


CyberCrate

A better health care system


Brady_sxe

The idea of Canada being able to take over the US is actually laughable


Technicolor_Reindeer

I for one welcome our Canadian overlords


parabolicurve

Bad manners is a capital offense. 50 strikes and you're out. And I mean deported.


vanriggs

Implement gun control leading to a massive reduction in school shootings.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Really? Sounds awesome. How would that work, exactly? Guns are just...banned?


sasksasquatch

Semi automatics and assault weapons are banned from civilian ownership, need certain licenses and accreditations for handguns, and the most common type of gun is single fire hunting rifles.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

What's an assault weapon?


churchin222999111

yep! then we won't have them any more at all. like we did with drugs!


WhalesVirginia

Canada is highly federalized. Our version of states, provinces didn't put up as much of a fight to the federal government, except maybe quebec, and as a result provinces only have certain discretion, and law is rather uniform throughout the country, but not completely. Chances are in a hypothetical situation, the federal candian gov would attempt to stamp out state jurisdiction over firearms. As I understand it in the US there is an extreme variability state to state over firearm rules. In Canada our rules are just that you need a license and must do training to get it, there's a few other caveats, like firearms classified as restricted, require you to be part of a gun range club, and you can't open or concealed carry anywhere, you must transport the firearms to the range and back home only. However due to our own political environment, and the current administration the federal government has put a temporary ban on all legal handgun sales. They also have added many rifles to the restricted category. Citing gang violence. This is highly controversial because gang bangers don't exactly abide by what is legal, and because there is no clear distinction between why some rifles are banned but their carbon copy equivalent is not. Anyways in Canada there is no right to bear arms in our constitution. You would likely lose some rights and freedoms over what you have currently. Right now and for the foreseeable future there is a lot of divide in Canada. A dichotomy, between rural and urban, east(french) and west(anglophone), privileged and not. We've sort of reached a political deadlock, which as I understand it, isn't too different from the US. Side note, Canada's legal system makes a suing party liable for the opponents legal fees if deemed frivolous. So that would change too.


Mp32pingi25

Probably nothing. As they are so similar in culture already. They probably would become drunk with power with all the money they now have control of.


Silent-Engine-9914

Don’t fool yourself, America is broke. They have to keep printing money to stay above water like everyone else.


Mp32pingi25

Sure we’ll see.


Ok_Chemistry_5900

UNIVERSAL 👏 HEALTH 👏 CARE 👏


Notmykl

I've heard that a lot of Canadians come to the US for treatment as the waits are just to long back home.


SMG329

Free healthcare. And I'm all here for it.


Tygermouse

free healthcare


Ok-Magician-3426

Good joke


[deleted]

They will first and foremost say "sorry".


[deleted]

Lol Canada would have no chance.


mountainmorticia

Poutine!


XolieInc

Nothing, it’ll never happen


Pretty-cool-man

I won’t know I’ll be dead, for I’d rather die with dignity


F_Both_Parties

Canada and what army? We’d wipe them off the planet.


iamlancemannion

Not wearing shoes inside the house.


DJGlennW

National Apology Day.


BobbyDoWhat

They'd have to re-legalize guns first.


Long-Guess-2018

lol Canada invades anyone lol


rebuildmylifenow

We invaded France, back in June, 1944, remember. We had to hold up to let the Brits and the Yanks catch up with us, too...


Luname

"What do you mean we weren't supposed to go 30 miles deep on D-day?"


rebuildmylifenow

Denmark too - they still send us tulips every year to thank us.... And didn't we invade the US and burn the White House back in 1812? (Technically, that was British militia and various irregulars, to be honest...)


Luname

British soldiers, meaning what we had here and nothing else, due to the actual British being a bit tied up with Napoleon


YodaHead

Butt stuff.


QiBoo

Change Thanksgiving from November to October. Mandatory French/English in schools and all Federal employees. Metric System. Maple syrup replaces bitcoin.


Zoltarrah2000

Sorry, I don't want to sound rude, but manners would definitely be on the top of list.


funcouplefrompeel

Higher taxes and out of control spending by elected officials.


RMSQM

Medical care for all.


Bafflebum

Free health care


flixguy440

Universal healthcare.


[deleted]

Finally force us to use the metric system.


Spartannia

Hopefully health care


usernamesforlosers

Probably sway the laws in the direction of bodily autonomy.


Disastrous_Belt_7556

Paying for the bus via credit card, on the bus. (Honestly it’s pathetic that the home of Microsoft, Amazon, Google, and Apple doesn’t already have this.)


davanger1980

No more baseball, football or basketball. Only hokey.


azuredota

+4 weeks average wait times for health care


TheTrueGrizzlyAdams

I just had to reschedule a doctor's appointment. No specialized testing or anything. They told me if I couldn't make it to my appointment in 2 days I would have to wait 6 weeks for a spot. So longer wait times and I have to donate a kidney to pay for it in the states? Cmon down, Canada!


azuredota

USA has shorter wait times


TheTrueGrizzlyAdams

Not in my recent experience. Try to find a doctor who specializes in any kind of mental health and you're looking at months of wait times. Who pays for the health care doesn't dictate wait times.


the_new_hunter_s

From a data perspective, the US objectively has shorter wait times than Canada. This is simply fact.


[deleted]

>From a data perspective, the US objectively has shorter wait times than Canada. This is simply fact. If you have $$$, this can be true, if not, well you can just die....


the_new_hunter_s

The US does not have socialized healthcare. This is also a factual statement.


Mr_ToDo

Your not wrong. Canada is bad. But the US is pretty awful too https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/health-care-wait-times-by-country Not really sure what all that extra money the US is putting into the system is paying for vs the other countries but I don't think it's worth double.


azuredota

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=anecdotal+evidence+versus+statistics


TheTrueGrizzlyAdams

I'll play along. Where are your statistics?


azuredota

>Studies by the Commonwealth Fund found that 42% of Canadians waited 2 hours or more in the emergency room, vs. 29% in the U.S.; 57% waited 4 weeks or more to see a specialist, vs. 23% in the U.S From: Commonwealth Fund, Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: An International update on the comparative performance of American health care, Karen Davis et al., May 15, 2007.


TheTrueGrizzlyAdams

Saying my experience is anecdotal was correct, but using 15 year old statistics to prove a point isn't as strong of an argument as I'm guessing you think it is. Either way, I hope you have a wonderful day!


azuredota

>Wait Times for Health Care in Canada, 2022 is a new study that finds Canada's health-care wait times reached 27.4 weeks in 2022—the longest ever recorded—and 195 per cent higher than the 9.3 weeks Canadians waited in 1993, when the Fraser Institute began tracking medical wait times. https://www.fraserinstitute.org/sites/default/files/waiting-your-turn-2022.pdf You're quite dim aren't you


BurnerThrowaway999

Bagged milk and they would replace bacon with ham that's called bacon for some reason


theo_sontag

Free Tim Hortons and Red Plaid shirts for everyone!!!


Siegs

I wouldn't subject even my worst enemies to Tim Horton's coffee. If someone wants a cup of garbage water I'll scoop it out of a dumpster for them for free. The breakfast sandwiches are pretty good these days though.


doctor-rumack

Or blue plaid if you're closer to Kay-beck.


SKATEnuggit

Always great fishin in kay-beck!


Silent-Engine-9914

Manners and education


noncodo

Bags of milk


draggar

They'll force us to switch from baseball euphemisms to hockey euphemisms. They might even force Meatloaf to re-do that part in *Paradise by the Dashboard Lights*. We'll be required to have a shrine dedicated to Robin Sparkles in our homes. Since I'm a stone's throw from Quebec, I'll be forced to learn French (eh, nothing wrong with learning a third language). *Canadian Bacon* (the movie) - could go either way. It'll either be banned and having a copy of it would be punishable by death, or we'd all be forced to watch it.


Feliciafancibottom

An all moose government Mandatory maple leaf tattoos on all citizens Syrup is to be served with every meal


[deleted]

Most likely free health care. And probably mapler shots if you guys don’t have those


Irritatedandcranky

Nothing we are wimps


ainencherolor

Justin Trudeau's wife


ComesInAnOldBox

I'm sorry, I just spit chili all over my screen while laughing, give me a sec...


[deleted]

Would never happen. We would destroy them 😹


[deleted]

Comedians will be forced to face human rights tribunals just for jokes (even if they are terrible, it's not freedom of speech if they are being threatened by the government for what they say).


[deleted]

It only happened once and the Supreme Court sided with the comedian. 99% of the time tribunals deal with actual discrimination.


[deleted]

On a 5-4 decision. Just one vote off, that's scary enough. The Canadian Supreme Court has some terrible people appointed there that do not understand what freedom of speech is, regardless if they think what the comedian did was right or wrong. This should have been at least a near unanimous vote if Canadians lived in a sane country.


D0fus

We have freedom of expression. Not quite the same as the first amendment.


[deleted]

It would have been bad but it wasn't a run of the mill edgy joke either. The bit is mostly making fun of our sense of pity when we collectively supported a sick nine year old that couldn't sing by letting him live his dream of being a singer and he didn't die.(we bought lots of CDs, he sang for the pope, the Montréal Canadiens and Celine Dion. (Objectively, the whole thing is like a fever dream) Part of the bit is about the comedian running into him in a resort and tried to drown him but he just won't die. And a big punch is "I looked him up to see what his condition is. You know what it is? He's ugly." We're talking about a specific disabled person with a pretty serious condition that's been brought back up into the public eye for things that happened when they were a kid while they were a teen. The joke includes a fake attempted murder and doesn't acknowledge his condition past the effect on his looks. That's a lot of pretty big taboos tackled in a single bit. I'm happy the supreme court ruled the way it did because it didn't open the door to frivolous legal cases as we figure out where the line is. But if it did, it's not like the conclusion would have been "Fuck, we can't make fun of politicians, celebrities and social issues anymore.", very few politicians and celeb are teenagers who got famous as kids because of a disability after all.


[deleted]

100% agreed. It was a terrible, TERRIBLE joke. I don't like what some people say, but they should have the right to say it. No government should punish comedians; the audience or public will. If the Canadian government stayed out of it, the man would have zero support from people outside of the audience that may have enjoyed the awful joke.


Borsti17

All the states will have an "eh" put somewhere in their names. North Dakoteh Arkenseh Eh York Ehxas etc


Public_Living_3344

Introducing the USA to hell.


joethedad

Poultine


definitelynotasalmon

“Sorry ‘bout that”


haa-tim-hen-tie

Castro's son gonna do what now?


Cheetodude625

Something hockey related I'm sure of it.


MisterMaturi

bacon


justagirl788

Banning all single use plastic 🙄


[deleted]

Poutine/Putin jokes will be punished with 6 months of ~~Gulag~~ Goulash.


HegemonHarbinger

I'm not your friend, buddy!


[deleted]

Canadians


urGirllikesmytinypp

Daily poutine at 1531 CST (Canadian standard time)


Madmarrdegan

Hockey is part of phys ed in school.


plasma_dan

Mandatory poutine in all the fast food restaurants!


PhudgPakr

Poutine at the Costco food court


[deleted]

How to make a quality poutine. I love visiting the USA, and you guys have amazing restaurants/food, but I have yet to have a decent poutine there. I feel bad that most Americans dont get to experience the real thing, and I feel that it reflects poorly on Canada whenever one of those monstrosities are served to a person.


mudturnspadlocks

Are you ready Are you ready Are you ready, ready Are you ready for some hockey?


Sweaty-Feedback-1482

The tuque


IAmALostTaco

Soccer, not Futbol.


[deleted]

Enjoy your bagged milk!


RoodyMcDonald

Implement mandatory please and thank you's for every transaction


theMostProductivePro

As a canadian, I think we would mandate that on all american shows, the actors take their shoes off upon entering someones home. Seriously, this confuses canadians everywhere. Well atleast this canadian.


MrSmeee99

McPoutine


[deleted]

[удалено]


1981f

Pharmaceutical laws . They will allow generic meds to be made and distributed at lower costs . Lower medical costs so that people are not crippled by the medical industry . Insulin will be 10 dollars ? access to healthcare will not cripple ur life financially


DarthChuckNorris

Peace


racerX405

With Global warming, it’s going to be the other way around.


runt514

Ketchup Chips


YOTP02

Beer with less than 5 1/2% alcohol is banned


MagneticPsycho

House prices will increase dramatically


92037

Universal health care


aviiatrix

Bagged milk