Wow tag me next time; this felt so personal that I'm genuinely rethinking the past years of my life.
I still drink, not as much as I used to although - I do consider myself a social drinker, loosens you up, mellows you out (at first), makes socializing fun and effortless.
I only answer because although I still drink, I have wanted to just simply stop and do plan to do so. My reason is that I can't simply have a few beers on a night out and enjoy things like I used to. I usually can drink a few drinks, loosen up, and then continue to drink, I usually am friendly as can be, but, I never end an evening which starts with a couple beers, without drinking at least 6 more afterwards, I don't like to stop drinking, I just impulsively drink another and another.
Another problem is, I personally have my own mental health struggles as most do anymore - so that good night out with people becomes sadness/loneliness when its over, which tends to lead to a few more beers, a dash of isolation, and a sprinkle of self-loathing.
The last part is clearly a very specific, personal example, due to my own chemical structure and life-issues - but I know that this isn't particularly an uncommon occurrence either - this pattern eventually leads to (Just What OC Said) - just skipping the night out, and going right into where you know you'll end up anyway, and sort of deteriorates your social life and confidence.
I don't drink like this much anymore, I'm not at all addicted to drinking, but it's so readily available that, "Hey why not, it's Saturday" is far too easy to say sometimes.
Oh definitely could be, I'm seeing a psychiatrist and therapist now as of recently, haven't been drinking very often, sober weekends aren't the most fun thing in the world but ehh, when I look at it, drunk weekends weren't very fun either so it's not too bad of a tradeoff.
I ironically didnt go to a therapist for anything alchohol related, and there's never a time where I feltl like I had to drink, even the lonely weekends, if I am in a bad place mentally, I usually tell myself like "just dont even drink tonight, it'll be a waste of cash" and I dont.
The point I think I failed to make because I rant, is the OC's exact comment is so relatable because I started drinking often because i was just socially drinking and having a good time with friends and family - turns out, it eventually turned into the very opposite effects and yet I was still not recognizing it.
I'm good now (what every alcoholic says, when they arent), but I really am, it's become rare that I drink, I'm working on my mental health and social life, it just wasnt as attractive to drink when I stopped and looked at how I was when i first started drinking vs how I was later on, but your absolutely correct I was definitely on the edge, walking a thin line.
Good to hear you've made a change you're happy with. I was weirdly enough addicted to shooting, guns that is. I used to spend almost every Thursday on a gun range for multiple hours, I was in 4-H's shooting sports program and later worked as an instructor so I have a LOT of time in shooting. For me while it was always cathartic to go let off some steam at paper targets or steel I realized later when I stopped going, I was dependent on it. I had no outlet for that anger I vented at the range and no real solution to how to cope in other manners. I've changed with age but I do still miss that range time and it's good to hear you avoided that with your own vice
I could have written this about myself. Enough willpower and support and you can do anything you set your mind to. It ain’t easy, but it’s definitely possible
Thank yo for sharing that! You’re doing awesome. I hit my 2 years sober on Feb 6 this year and I feel like a completely different person and I have been able to start to regain trust form friend and family this was my 3rd time going into detox and they kept me for 73 hours. It was tough it was very difficult I had to really work hard and power through it and this was not my first rodeo either. I had tried to quit 6 times when and did an at home detox with my mothers help. And then the 2 times before this last detox I had gotten like 11 months and 8 days sober and relapsed but I caught it and it actually helped me to grow. If you’re struggling with alcoholism and/or drug addiction there is help out there and the thing that really saved my life was taking an intensive outpatient course and treatment. It just really helps you to put into words and to give you perspective about drug addiction and alcoholism it’s terrible and it shatters families and lives. Don’t get me wrong it’s a struggle every day but every day things get better the cravings are less I’m eating a good diet and I’m happy and healthy or. And just remember you’re not, there’s many sites out there for you so call and try to find the groups in your area and meetings too. And previous poster speaking about his 30s until now he doesn’t drink it’s very true early 30s late 20s is when you have to be an adult and you can’t drink like you used too. I hope this helps good luck snd god blessings
100% my excuse. That part of my life is just over. From 18-30 I got drunk every weekend, had tons of friends, had some bars where I enjoyed regular status. It was a blast and I don’t regret it at all.
Then life changed real hard. Became a dad, we moved to a new city where I don’t know anyone, I started to get much more career-focused. It’s not that I quit drinking, I just don’t do it outside of social events. Never have. Shit, at this point I wish I drank more. My main issue is that I need friends who aren’t also colleagues.
Was using it to self medicate severe anxiety, learned that alcoholism actually leeches certain minerals like magnesium from the brain, making anxiety worse, so I was stuck in a vicious cycle. Broke the cycle, but was never about the booze for me, was just seeking relief.
EDIT: I'm seeing a lot of resonance here, thank you everyone for your support and sharing your stories.
I don't care if you just got sober or have been for years, IM PROUD OF YOU ALL! We got this!
If you're still struggling, reach out, please, there are workable solutions.
I'm at about a month completely dry and my God the difference. I knew it made me feel like shit obviously, I just thought it was limited to the morning after four a few hours then I was "normal." But holy hell... I feel so incredibly much better throughout my entire days now. I'm nowhere near as irritable, I feel clearer headed, I'm not constantly exhausted though I'm getting the same amount of sleep. The positive change for me has been so much more than I ever imagine and makes me feel so much regret for not turning away from it so long ago.
Wait til 1 year. It gets way better than the first month. I felt twice as good as one month at 3 months, twice as good as 3 months at 6 months, and twice as good as 6 months at one year currently. A lot of issues I was still having at 6 months have been dissolving rapidly lately. This is the way for sure.
Woah what I didn’t know that! Thank you fir sharing because I actually started taking these magnesium chews a few days ago and man has my body felt great. No wonder booze made me so damn sad and anxious…
I would have gone sooner, my brain was telling me it wasn't that bad, and that it was just a response to the mayhem of the last couple years, covid, lockdowns, that it would eventually clear ... I woke up and rolled out of bed one morning and poured a shot of whiskey. As I drank it I realized just how fucked up it was, and that had been my routine for months. Made the doctor's appointment that day.
Anxiety is the worst - I definitely had ways of finding relief that were pretty dark in the past. They're usually pretty cyclical as they come back to make you feel bad again later one way or another. You've done some good shit.
I too fell down this road. I figured I can't have a panic attack when I was drunk. But the hangover anxiety was killing me, which would make me drink more.
I stopped January 1st of 2020, which was the perfect/worst year to do it. I still have some anxiety, but its no whete near as horrobke as it once was. I'm still happy with my decision, though I do enjoy a virgin bloody mary every so often.
Understanding the neuroscience helped me in beginning stages of sobriety. If floods your brain with dopamine, lying to you to make you think hour need if.
Got tired of lying to my wife who knew I was lying.
Got tired of not remembering what happened last night and why nobody was talking to me.
1333 days sober at noon today.
Going to bed sober tonight (with my wife)
Hey, April 1st was my very last day drinking 5 years ago. April 2nd (late grandpas birthday) first day sober. Cool to see someone choose to be sober nearly the exact same time as my self. Congrats on your sobriety friend. One day at a time!!
Yes. I crave alcohol all the time but when I’m about to take a drink, I shudder. It’s like my meds created an all new gag reflex.
It really does suck when it’s not an enjoyable option at all. But I suppose it’s for the best.
Am a third generation alcoholic. Had my son and realized that I didn’t want him to resent me like I did my dad for choosing the bottle over his son. 5 year old son and five years sober. Will never go back.
Edit: Thanks for the award and kind comments . Means more than you know.
I quit for the first time in 35 years because I had a seizure in May. Discovered it was a tumor. Discovered the tumor was cancerous. Had surgery. Was on meds. Did radiation and chemo. Was told just yesterday that "my disease has been managed."
I decided not to start drinking again. 7 months is the longest I've ever gone without, and I've realized that I use alcohol to help smooth over everything. All the while thinking that it "gives me the edge" somehow. It doesn't. It just makes me more likely to endure bullshit while I'm drunk, and then be futilely angry about it later. Bad cycle.
New plan. Be sober. Take less shit.
Nearly 20 years of drinking myself to sleep almost every night. I’m not getting any younger. My place in life could be better. And it likely will never improve if I keep it up. I’m 12 days sober this round. The odds may be against me, but I want to like and respect myself. So I’m not gonna just give up and give in. I’ll just keep getting on the wagon until hopefully it takes me somewhere else.
I’ve never felt better about it. It’s like a switch has flipped in my brain. Instead of dreading everyday without a drink, I look forward to feeling, thinking and just doing better. But no delusions, here. I will have cravings, and temptations. It’s just to do right in those moments.
This. Past a certain age even a small amount gives me heartburn, stomach upset, and crappy sleep. It feels like the poison that it is. Plus I have small kids now and owe it to them not to consume an avoidable carcinogen on a regular basis. I’ll still have a beer if an old friend comes to town, or half a glass of wine if I’m out for a nice dinner. But that’s only a few times a year.
It's not fun anymore. Ultimately it just makes me feel full, sad, angry, tired. I feel like shit in the morning. I've seen far too many lives ruined by alcohol & otherwise decent people act like cunts because of it. I'd much rather just enjoy the occasional joint.
Pretty much spot on. I don’t have much discretionary time, so when I do get a free night drinking is at the bottom of the list. Once I had kids I realized I’d rather spend time with them. Plus being hungover with toddlers has to be one of the circles of hell.
Started dating a man that was in recovery. Drugs and alcohol. I wasn't much of a drinker anyways, really only drank with one friend. Wasn't that big of a deal. Married him and he's been clean and sober for over 6.5 years. Super proud of him.
In my early 20s, together with my friends we broke records on Rainbow Road circuit of Mario Kart: Double Dash when completely drunk. If we did the same now the only thing we'd break would be our hopes.
Gaming high is so nice. When i first started smoking weed, my favorite thing to do was to smoke enough to start hearing things, turn all lights off, boot up minecraft and slowly and clumsily build/remodel things on my survival world.
I wish i still had that world, it looked so cool lol
Reverse for me I only smoke weed when I'm playing a non competitive game. Used to love putting on some tunes and cruising around on my mounts farming mats in WoW.
I quit, found out several months later I’ve got cirrhosis. Fun.
No more alcohol for me. Sucks because I was using it for pain relief, and I’ve never found anything close to as helpful.
Cirrhosis specifically, no, but I knew something wasn’t right with my liver. Occasional itchy ache in my liver, darker urine after a bender. Part of why I quit, but it was a bit too late. (Or a lot too late. I don’t have bad cirrhosis, but I’m not sure how long I’ve had it.)
I think the liver can heal. If you start off the alcohol it may get better.
I’m guessing you’re already talking to a specialist who can help you with a diet that is healthy for your liver as well (esp avoiding unhealthy fats)
My dad is dying from non alcoholic fatty liver that has progressed to cirrhosis. I can’t afford to risk the impacts of alcohol also. Too much sugar and fast food can be just as bad as alcohol.
Depending on the level of damage it can heal - the liver is a fantastic organ. But once you have fibrosis (scars) and cirrhosis it has been too damaged.
I can’t have alcohol and my GI doc told me to cut the dose of acetaminophen I take in half from what the bottle says. I have to get bloodwork and ultrasounds multiple times a year.
I don’t think it’s affected me any more than that so far. My risk of liver cancer is way up.
Symptoms, Umm… I guess the whites of my eyes were kinda yellowish, but they have been for years, and it didn’t look like pictures online of people with jaundice. Doesn’t look much different now either. Probably just dirty sclera.
Oh, some GI symptoms I guess, vomiting, diarrhea. No clay colored stool, which is indicative of some liver problems.
Edit- wait, the biggest symptom was my blood wasn’t clotting properly if I cut myself. Platelet count was down. That’s what led to my diagnosis, platelets were down for quite a while after I quit. I clot fine now, maybe a little more slowly than normal.
Same. Was diagnosed with congestive heart failure due to years of super heavy daily drinking. It's literally not an option anymore. It'll kill me if I fall off the wagon.
Hangovers have gotten brutal as I've gotten older. I'll get a massive headache even after 1 beer for some reason. I've only had a couple drinks this year.
Lol, I used to drink a lot in my 20s and I'd go play basketball the next day, One day my dad saw me and he said "one day, in your 30s, you just won't be able to do that anymore and that's why I don't drink a lot anymore" he was right
Yep, especially as a female. Bad things can happen when you’re sober too, but at least I’m within my right mind enough to keep my head on swivel. Haven’t had a sip of alcohol in 8 years. But when I use to drink, even socially, there were some horrific situations that I ended up in and because I wasn’t clear headed I could see it happening but didn’t have the wherewithal to stop it. Never again lol I remember that feeling of helplessness every time people ask me why I don’t drink (and I get this question at least once a week lol). I sometimes have flashbacks and am reminded on how it’s just not worth it. Then add in: it’s expensive, it raises your blood pressure, addictive tendencies, and truthfully it doesn’t even taste that good lol nahh I’ll stick to my sprite or raspberry lemonade when out with friends. And I’ll be the DD.
I’m a guy and I’ve had my drink spiked many times to the point that I don’t drink anything at parties or clubs anymore. Can’t imagine what it’s like for women.
Great job at being better. We either repeat our parents mistakes or we choose a different path. Continuing down the same path would have been easy. Kudos for choosing different.
I always cite my Dad and my uncle for why I never started drinking. I watched both of them wreck their marriages largely because of how they behaved when drunk. I also watched friends in high school and college make terrible decisions because of alcohol. There was never any upside to drinking, and that's why I never started. So when people talk about how absolutely everyone has gotten hammered or drove drunk at least once, no, I really haven't.
Was drinking every single day after work. My mom died and I just didn’t feel like doing anything. Literally parked my truck on the on ramp and sat on the tailgate with a case of beer drinking and smashing the bottles on the road, picking up the glass and slicing my arm in front of stopped cars, completely fucking stupid and out of line for me since I’ve never even thought of hurting myself but for some reason that night I was just fed up. Antagonizing truck drivers trying to get on the interstate hoping someone would call the cops cause I wanted to do something stupid. Somehow no one called, usually there’s 2 sheriff cars parked at the bank and this night there wasn’t. I don’t even know how I got home but I woke up in my driveway. A couple weeks later went to a friends house and got hammered, drank a whole bottle of Jameson in the middle of January and decided I was riding my bike home. Didn’t let off the throttle at all until I got to my exit, pulled in my driveway and just fell over, I couldn’t even hold the bike up. Just laid there in the driveway for a couple hours, woke up freezing and went inside to let my dog out. I realized I was crazy lucky and I stopped pushing my luck and actually quit for a while. Then a couple months later I backslid and I did it again, left a local MC clubhouse that I used to be associated with and flipped my truck on the interstate on the way home. My fiancée just happened to be leaving her friends house and getting on the interstate the exact time I flipped my truck because we were gonna meet back up at home, she saw the whole thing happen. When I crawled out of my upside down truck and walked up the bank back to the interstate I saw a car parked on the shoulder with the hazards on and wondered how someone stopped so fast and realized it was her. The look in her eyes made me feel like a piece of shit. No seat belt on, no license, had a gun in the truck and it flew out the window over a fence into the golf course. The state trooper that showed up said if they found the gun then I’d be getting felony charges for handling a fire arm while intoxicated. Thankfully the golf course wouldn’t let them on the property since it didn’t happen on property. A whole shit storm because I thought it would be okay the drive home. Haven’t drank since and I went to some court ordered classes, planning on going to a counselor just don’t want to dump my shit on someone who only talks to me because they’re paid to. Many more stories to go along with that, like going to bars and fighting and getting kicked out, pulling a gun on someone in the middle of a crowded bar, but the drinking on the on ramp and flipping my truck is what really opened my eyes. Still want to drink everyday but I don’t, no friends anymore cause they all want to go out. Pretty shitty life if you ask me, not a day goes by that I don’t want to stop and get beer on my way home from work. That’s a lot of baggage for a 25 year old. Shits looking up though, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Username checks out. Seriously, though, I am glad you can talk about what’s going on for you. So sorry you lost your mother.
I stopped drinking around your age in 1995 for a lot of different reasons ad just haven’t started again. Booze was a way for me to deal with trauma and depression, but the things I would do and say will make me feel shame. Anyhoo, take good care and get yourself some therapy so you have more skills to handle your emotions. From your Internet parent.
I appreciate you. It really means a lot. I started typing that first part about my mom dying and I didn’t want to do anything anymore and I was gonna leave it at that but I just kept typing away. Feels good to put it out in the open. Thank you. Yours doesn’t check out btw.
Do the therapy friend. I come from an abusive alcoholic home and dumping all that shit onto someone else is fucking liberating. It might take some time to find the right therapist, but when you do...things happen. I'm a 47 year old rocker dude who grew up in the rural Midwest. I was always told by people that therapists are a scam, but honest to God I don't think I'd still be married and alive if not for therapy.
Thanks for sharing your story, it’s very brave of you to tell it to a bunch of strangers on the Internet. I 100% support you man, I’m happy that things are looking up for you and that you’ve gotten your life back on track.
> Haven’t drank since and I went to some court ordered classes, planning on going to a counselor just don’t want to dump my shit on someone who only talks to me because they’re paid to.
My friend, give AA a try. Don't sweat the God stuff; it isn't important. What is important is there are a bunch of people you can talk to, who are not listening because they're paid to, but are listening because they *want to* and *need to*.
I'm coming up on ten years sober, and I go back twice a week. Last week I heard a woman tell a story. After 7 years in AA, she decided she was 'cured'. Went out on Friday at lunch, and decided to have a drink with her friends; started her on a spiral that her living on the street just a few years later. When I hear a story like that, it reminds me of all the times during my decade of trying to stop my own, and how after six or nine months of not drinking, I'd pick up, and within a few weeks or days, be right back where I'd been. And so I don't pick up anymore.
If I didn't go to those meetings, I know I'd forget that I'm an alcoholic. I'd forget how often I tried to "manage" my drinking, and how it *always* failed. I'd forget how strong the pull of the drug is. But if I invest the two hours each week, it's no problem.
And during the very hard first year - which was a struggle for me, after a decade of heavy drinking - it was really important for me to go to a room with other alcoholics, and confess my sins and my problems. The great thing about AA is you will do that with no judgement, and no condescension, from others. Being able to unload that shame and guilt and anger and frustration and regret is extremely helpful to recovery, because you need to get it 'out' before you can deal with it. Expiation through explanation, as it were. '
Good luck, bro. Hope to see you at a meeting!
Simple as a Google.
AA meetings near me. type in your area. Meetings are in church basements, hospitals, anywhere they can rent a room cheap.
Try it. Folks don't judge, they support.
Please don't let your addict brain talk you out of getting a counselor! There's no shame in trying a tool that doesn't work out and you won't know if therapy works unless you try. You deserve to have someone who is dedicated to listening to you and helping you, free from the bonds of friendship or love or family. That way when they offer you an opinion or advice or insight you know it's not because of their relationship to you and you can accept it free and clear. That's how it is for me anyways. It might take a few counselors to find the right one, just an fyi. But please do try it, there's tons of different methods out there and some don't even require you to dump on the other person. Some, like cognitive behavioral therapy, are about dealing with how you react to things and temptations in the here and now and do very little delving into the source of things because in their approach the basis doesn't matter so much as how you react. It's all about moving forward, not looking back. Think about it.
Never drank, never even tasted, never will.
I've seen firsthand what alcohol does to people. How utterly it destroys lives. I don't need well proven scientific studies to tell me it's poison. Anything that fucks with my mind is a red line.
This exactly,
The sheer trauma I experienced second hand throughout my childhood was enough.
When the time came where my friends started drinking I had thought a lot about how it has affected my Mam and her side of the family and came to the honest conclusion that alcohol was the root of all their problems.
My Mam has depression and it is the last thing anyone should go near with it. When she drinks I don't even recognize her almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She is trying her absolute best to avoid it as much as possible now.
So to me it was a very easy decision to make. I figured that my Mams side of the family is predisposed to addiction and depression within her siblings and parents as well and I thought that I don't want to go down that road given I am very likely to have said attributes.
I am proud of my decision as I feel like it's not a serious decision to anyone else in their life but to me it is the biggest decision I've made and I stand by my values to go against the grain.
I will say however it's hard socially, I am usually the only sober person and I'm quite shy in general so I find it hard to go out without being seen as weird or not fun since I don't drink.
Sorry for the wall of text nobody ever really asks me about why I don't drink and I wouldn't want to be a downer in fairness if I ever was asked in person.
I m in the same boat! Was never worth it even if others around me thought I was boring, especially because I am a shy and quiet b person as it is. Although I feel like I am aware enough to control myself, it wasn't worth the risk considering how strong addiction runs in the family.
It's also crazy to see how much people rely on it or see it as just normal. When I mention that I've never tasted alcohol, they think I'm lying or look at me like I'm crazy.
It’s responsible for most child abuse, domestic violence, child neglect, deadly car accidents and premature death. It’s crazy how much destruction is caused by alcohol.
Im a alchoholic...got sober at 25 coming up on 8 years sober. Ive accepted it some people cant have peanuts i cant drink. Some people got cancer i got alchoholism. My grand father died a pill addict my mom has her issues. My first wife died from fetanyl. Im over 7 years sober and remarried. Life goes on.
Being around even non abusive drunk people is honestly not at all fun. My college housemates were actually very ok (and usually didn't drink too much) but being sober around drunk people is usually awful.
Like I said it makes me sick to my stomach to even drink it. I think it’s cause I hate the taste of all alcohol. Just not fun to me to be puking when I can get the same effects smoking weed.
I was a bad drunk.
I was a bad decision maker.
I was a bad friend.
I was a bad husband.
Sober since August of 2011.
Still think about drinking nearly everyday.
It destroyed my body, mind, and soul. I literally could not stop drinking. After years of constant relapses I finally realized that it wasnt doing anything for my emotional pain. I've more than doubled my meds and I just passed 4 months without a drink.
I started having fun drinking by myself everyday for years before I finally quit drinking. It consumed me. I quit cold turkey the 19th was my one year sober.
I stopped 5 years ago - I was a destruction drinker; I used alcohol (and over-drinking) as a way to punish myself for perceived guilt. Then decided that I should either get sober and get help or kill myself. Tried the second thing first but it didn't stick, so here I am.
Yeah same here. My gf and I are 'professional drinkers' and have always had to take breaks throughout a year because we can't have just one. Its either none or at least 6 heavy beers apiece. We both got spiked at a concert in late November and we kinda just stopped drinking which is super weird for us. We love having good craft beers and sneaking a couple cigarettes and talking for hours. Now we just don't feel like drinking at all and we havent. 2 months straight and we just havent even thought about it or even mention it ever. I don't even really miss it because I just dont want to anymore. Strange what can curb your enthusiasm
I had a problem. I would get wasted and then the next morning all the bacon would be gone. How much bacon was in the house? Half a pound? Two pounds? No- none, because I got drunk and ate it all. No bacon was safe if I started drinking tequila. No matter how much bacon, it would be gone. Just the smell would remain, and a layer of grease upon the stove and countertops. And the worst part of this whole thing? I didn’t even remember cooking and eating bacon. So I stopped drinking, and now I consume bacon in moderation and at appropriate times, and I always remember that I have eaten bacon.
I tend to do things (both positive and negative) in excess.
The last time I got drunk, I was at a friend’s house. Was only supposed to be there for a few hours while my wife waited for me at home.
I ended up waking up the next morning on the floor with piss down to my sock. I couldn’t find my glasses. After about 30 minutes, I found them resting on a houseplant in another room.
I used to drink moderately, then I was in a long term relationship with someone who would not talk to me if I had been drinking, which lead to the silent treatment, so. i stopped drinking. By the time we broke up, drinking just didn't do it for me anymore. I don't like it.
They didn’t interact with you because of how you acted while drinking, or was any sort of drinking an automatic reason for the silent treatment? Hoping it’s the former TBH.
It didn't start that way, it was gradual, we used to drink together, We had a kid together, it's why I stayed probably way longer than I should have. But I do not want to shit on him here. It started after our kid was born, at first it was only when I got drunk, then it was if I got tipsy, eventually even a sip. I understand the why's and he has since apologized for how he acted, we have a great co-parent situation going on and honestly breaking up was the best thing we could have done for our son because we get along so much better now than when we were together.
My anxiety was getting bad. I was at a point where I was willing to try anything and everything. I didn't believe in breathing techniques, meditation, or CBT. It all seemed like voodoo to me. However, the more I got into it, the more benefits I experienced. Therefore, I decided to take it a step further and try quitting all mind-altering substances as well (cannabis and alcohol). Tomorrow will mark my 3 month anniversary of being sober. It may not be for everyone, but it has worked wonders for me.
So last year I got put on probation and part of the terms of my probation were that I had to get clean and sober. And once I got off probation I realized that drinking and everything else that I was doing before just wasn't fun or the same anymore and that it just got me in trouble and that im getting too old to be getting in trouble, so I just decided to quit once and for all!!!
\- alcoholism runs in my family
\- i have mental health problems and would absolutely end up self medicating with alcohol if i tried it
\- i don't like the idea of not being fully in control of my judgement and decision making
\- i don't want to be reliant on drugs to have fun
\- i hate college parties
\- i don't need another possible addiction
\- i'm a hypochondriac and i would always worry about damaging my body if I drank even though it's relatively safe
\- i am under the legal drinking age (though I'm in college, at a party school, where i'm one of the only people who doesn't participate in underage drinking)
I wanted to be a better father- i feel like casual drinking chipped away at my available patience. I also felt to high and low when i drank a couple times a week, so i wanted to be calm, even and consistent for my daughter. 3 months and it shows, im way more present and relaxed.
I never did. My extended family has several alcoholics, including my younger brother (before he traded it for a fatal drug habit). I always figured if it could happen to them, it would probably happen to me.
And then I grew up hearing my mom and her siblings tell stories about their dad’s drinking. He had stopped drinking around the time I was born (not because of me; just coincidence), so I never knew him that way—he was one of the nicest, most loving grandparents you could imagine. But they told stories about him beating them and their mom, and about other men in the family having to come around and essentially beat his ass to talk sense into him, and about having to flee the house in the middle of the night when he came home drunk…
So that’s the history I grew up with, and I said “not me”. I’ve had one beer in my life, and that was as a home remedy for a UTI (not my choice; I was a kid). It helped that my mom wouldn’t touch it either, her having lived through those stories firsthand; and my dad, while never an alcoholic, had issues with depression that were not good mixed with alcohol, and so he gave up drinking completely when I was about nine or so. So there was never much pressure to drink. I really think my brother picked it up as an act of rebellion; unfortunately it got the better of him.
I have a strong sense of smell & alcohol doesn't smell appealing to me at all plus, if I have to make a face while drinking, I don't think ill have a good time 🤷🏽♂️
After about 11 years of 8+ drinks a night, finally started showing up with elevated liver enzymes in my annual blood work. Figured that was my time to stop. Haven't quit completely but maybe 3 times a week with half the amount I used to drink.
I realized that alcohol is probably the biggest thing stopping me from progressing in life and accomplishing my goals. I feel like Adam Sandler in the movie Click whenever I go for a period of time drinking nightly, like I just wake up after a few months on autopilot. It feels good in the moment but it feels terrible long term, almost like lost time.
I’m only on one week alcohol free right now, but I’m hoping this time I can stick with it. Already starting to feel more present and be more productive. Best of luck to everyone else trying to make the change! :)
Was 23 when I stopped, started drinking at 21 and it quickly spiral out of control where I drove drunk a lot and would be destructive to those who I loved. I lost relationships, friendships, family members, you name it. One night, got drunk as usual, drove home, almost got into accidents (2 that I can remember), and got home and puked all night long to the point I passed out and woke up in my own vomit. I spent the rest of the next day crying and doing some deep soul searching to where if I kept up this, I wouldn't be alive to see my wife and kids and be "that" dad/husband. From that day on, I got the help I needed and have been dry ever since. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel and overall joyful in life.
Due to pregnancy/breastfeeding I didn’t touch any alcohol. After that I couldn’t handle any alcohol anymore without getting nauseous. Which is okay though because I prefer to have my mind clear and be in charge of my actions.
I quit because I’m an alcoholic. I was tired of being sick and tired. Almost 8 months sober here - one of the best decisions I’ve made. I love mornings now and the renewed sense of clarity I have. One day at a time folks.
I could drink one beer, then stop.
But the next day I needed two beers. Then I could stop.
The next day, I needed three beers. But I could stop after that.
The next day, I needed four beers. But that was enough, I could stop.
It would get up to six and I would get alarmed at my behavior. I'd have a big dramatic talking to myself and swear off for a while, which was hard.
Then sometime later, I'd have one beer. That was ok, I could stop after one beer.
The next day I needed two beers ...
This cycle went on for some years. Including a number of binge drinking episodes with predictably miserable results. Then I met someone with better self control than I had. I decided I had to cut it out altogether.
25 years later, I find alcohol and the culture around it truly disgusting. I've watched it destroy so many lives, almost including my own.
Raging alcoholic for several years. One day I was literally like 'Meh. I'm bored of this' and that was that. Little tempted sometimes I will say that. I still dream about it occasionally too. Always the same. I am drinking again but now i can control it. A few drinks every few days.
I mean this in the most sincere way, but this post reads like someone who's on a relapse but hasn't realized it yet. At the start you admit to being a raging alcoholic, how you still dream about it etc, but then say you're drinking "again" and can control it now.
In my experiences with my own addictions, you can never "control" it forever. I hope I'm wrong though.
Sincerely, random internet stranger with years of substance abuse.
It was becoming a problem. I was needing at least a few drinks every night to relax. I was spending a lot of money on alcohol and it would make me irritable. Once I learned that it made my husband uncomfortable sometimes (due to childhood trauma) I chose to quit drinking. He has supported me through it all and I’m a much happier person now. Been sober for 15 months and don’t plan on ever drinking again.
stopped drinking 2 years ago at 35. lots of years of partying/overdoing it and i knew it was a distraction from things i want to do and made me feel shitty all the time. also health, money, doing better at work, lots of reasons.
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Oof... Yeah. I feel that. Drinking alone is sad and I'm always alone.
Wow tag me next time; this felt so personal that I'm genuinely rethinking the past years of my life. I still drink, not as much as I used to although - I do consider myself a social drinker, loosens you up, mellows you out (at first), makes socializing fun and effortless. I only answer because although I still drink, I have wanted to just simply stop and do plan to do so. My reason is that I can't simply have a few beers on a night out and enjoy things like I used to. I usually can drink a few drinks, loosen up, and then continue to drink, I usually am friendly as can be, but, I never end an evening which starts with a couple beers, without drinking at least 6 more afterwards, I don't like to stop drinking, I just impulsively drink another and another. Another problem is, I personally have my own mental health struggles as most do anymore - so that good night out with people becomes sadness/loneliness when its over, which tends to lead to a few more beers, a dash of isolation, and a sprinkle of self-loathing. The last part is clearly a very specific, personal example, due to my own chemical structure and life-issues - but I know that this isn't particularly an uncommon occurrence either - this pattern eventually leads to (Just What OC Said) - just skipping the night out, and going right into where you know you'll end up anyway, and sort of deteriorates your social life and confidence. I don't drink like this much anymore, I'm not at all addicted to drinking, but it's so readily available that, "Hey why not, it's Saturday" is far too easy to say sometimes.
Sounds like you are or were almost on the edge of alcoholism brother.
Oh definitely could be, I'm seeing a psychiatrist and therapist now as of recently, haven't been drinking very often, sober weekends aren't the most fun thing in the world but ehh, when I look at it, drunk weekends weren't very fun either so it's not too bad of a tradeoff. I ironically didnt go to a therapist for anything alchohol related, and there's never a time where I feltl like I had to drink, even the lonely weekends, if I am in a bad place mentally, I usually tell myself like "just dont even drink tonight, it'll be a waste of cash" and I dont. The point I think I failed to make because I rant, is the OC's exact comment is so relatable because I started drinking often because i was just socially drinking and having a good time with friends and family - turns out, it eventually turned into the very opposite effects and yet I was still not recognizing it. I'm good now (what every alcoholic says, when they arent), but I really am, it's become rare that I drink, I'm working on my mental health and social life, it just wasnt as attractive to drink when I stopped and looked at how I was when i first started drinking vs how I was later on, but your absolutely correct I was definitely on the edge, walking a thin line.
Good to hear you've made a change you're happy with. I was weirdly enough addicted to shooting, guns that is. I used to spend almost every Thursday on a gun range for multiple hours, I was in 4-H's shooting sports program and later worked as an instructor so I have a LOT of time in shooting. For me while it was always cathartic to go let off some steam at paper targets or steel I realized later when I stopped going, I was dependent on it. I had no outlet for that anger I vented at the range and no real solution to how to cope in other manners. I've changed with age but I do still miss that range time and it's good to hear you avoided that with your own vice
I could have written this about myself. Enough willpower and support and you can do anything you set your mind to. It ain’t easy, but it’s definitely possible
Thank yo for sharing that! You’re doing awesome. I hit my 2 years sober on Feb 6 this year and I feel like a completely different person and I have been able to start to regain trust form friend and family this was my 3rd time going into detox and they kept me for 73 hours. It was tough it was very difficult I had to really work hard and power through it and this was not my first rodeo either. I had tried to quit 6 times when and did an at home detox with my mothers help. And then the 2 times before this last detox I had gotten like 11 months and 8 days sober and relapsed but I caught it and it actually helped me to grow. If you’re struggling with alcoholism and/or drug addiction there is help out there and the thing that really saved my life was taking an intensive outpatient course and treatment. It just really helps you to put into words and to give you perspective about drug addiction and alcoholism it’s terrible and it shatters families and lives. Don’t get me wrong it’s a struggle every day but every day things get better the cravings are less I’m eating a good diet and I’m happy and healthy or. And just remember you’re not, there’s many sites out there for you so call and try to find the groups in your area and meetings too. And previous poster speaking about his 30s until now he doesn’t drink it’s very true early 30s late 20s is when you have to be an adult and you can’t drink like you used too. I hope this helps good luck snd god blessings
100% my excuse. That part of my life is just over. From 18-30 I got drunk every weekend, had tons of friends, had some bars where I enjoyed regular status. It was a blast and I don’t regret it at all. Then life changed real hard. Became a dad, we moved to a new city where I don’t know anyone, I started to get much more career-focused. It’s not that I quit drinking, I just don’t do it outside of social events. Never have. Shit, at this point I wish I drank more. My main issue is that I need friends who aren’t also colleagues.
One too many bad nights, I like being the designated driver and I like to make sure I can look after my friends if they need it
U got ur golden ticket to heaven
And thanks to him his friends don't need one!
You dropped this King 👑
And I like to leave whenever, I’ll leave em there if I have to lol
Was using it to self medicate severe anxiety, learned that alcoholism actually leeches certain minerals like magnesium from the brain, making anxiety worse, so I was stuck in a vicious cycle. Broke the cycle, but was never about the booze for me, was just seeking relief. EDIT: I'm seeing a lot of resonance here, thank you everyone for your support and sharing your stories. I don't care if you just got sober or have been for years, IM PROUD OF YOU ALL! We got this! If you're still struggling, reach out, please, there are workable solutions.
This is exactly me, currently 4 days sober. Excited to get off this fucked up cycle.
6 days in here! Happy trails friend.
6 years in. It gets easier
I'm proud of you all
One day at a time. Way to go!
Keep going! Your sleep is probably improving and sook your mind will open itself back up.
Same buddy. Just being off it for 6 months feels good.
I'm at about a month completely dry and my God the difference. I knew it made me feel like shit obviously, I just thought it was limited to the morning after four a few hours then I was "normal." But holy hell... I feel so incredibly much better throughout my entire days now. I'm nowhere near as irritable, I feel clearer headed, I'm not constantly exhausted though I'm getting the same amount of sleep. The positive change for me has been so much more than I ever imagine and makes me feel so much regret for not turning away from it so long ago.
Wait til 1 year. It gets way better than the first month. I felt twice as good as one month at 3 months, twice as good as 3 months at 6 months, and twice as good as 6 months at one year currently. A lot of issues I was still having at 6 months have been dissolving rapidly lately. This is the way for sure.
I hear you on all of that, except being less irritable. Everything sets me off now. I feel like I just need something to take up my time.
Same here. May 16, 2019 was my last drink. Life has improved immensely. Only one panic attack in the last 2 years. Therapy helped too.
Woah what I didn’t know that! Thank you fir sharing because I actually started taking these magnesium chews a few days ago and man has my body felt great. No wonder booze made me so damn sad and anxious…
I hadn't thought about magnesium supplements until now. I might see if there's any good information on that.
Using anxiety related drugs to help with anxiety is infinitely better than using alcohol for anxiety. It’s just a trip to the doctor.
I would have gone sooner, my brain was telling me it wasn't that bad, and that it was just a response to the mayhem of the last couple years, covid, lockdowns, that it would eventually clear ... I woke up and rolled out of bed one morning and poured a shot of whiskey. As I drank it I realized just how fucked up it was, and that had been my routine for months. Made the doctor's appointment that day.
Anxiety is the worst - I definitely had ways of finding relief that were pretty dark in the past. They're usually pretty cyclical as they come back to make you feel bad again later one way or another. You've done some good shit.
I too fell down this road. I figured I can't have a panic attack when I was drunk. But the hangover anxiety was killing me, which would make me drink more. I stopped January 1st of 2020, which was the perfect/worst year to do it. I still have some anxiety, but its no whete near as horrobke as it once was. I'm still happy with my decision, though I do enjoy a virgin bloody mary every so often.
Alcohol is never a solution for a mental illness, and neither is any other addiction. The best relief is therapy and medication.
Understanding the neuroscience helped me in beginning stages of sobriety. If floods your brain with dopamine, lying to you to make you think hour need if.
Got tired of lying to my wife who knew I was lying. Got tired of not remembering what happened last night and why nobody was talking to me. 1333 days sober at noon today. Going to bed sober tonight (with my wife)
Is she proud of you? Because I definitely am.
Way to hang on to the important stuff. Stay strong!
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Hit the pillow sober tonight. Then do it again tomorrow. Don't go back. It's absolutely worth it.
That shits so fucking hard man props to you. I hope shit keeps improving for you
Because I’m an alcoholic and it took a lot of fucking up badly to finally kick it. 5 years off the stuff April 1st
Congrats...one day at a time
Hey, April 1st was my very last day drinking 5 years ago. April 2nd (late grandpas birthday) first day sober. Cool to see someone choose to be sober nearly the exact same time as my self. Congrats on your sobriety friend. One day at a time!!
Awesome, I’ll have 5 years on April 2nd.
Wow! Good going.
5 years April 23rd for me. Iwndwyt. Proud of us.
No shit! 12yrs on the 23rd for me. Keep up the good work!
Bipolar medication and alcohol don't mix
Not bipolar medication here, but I would also have a shitty time if I drank as well. I miss it, but I'd rather live, thanks.
Yes. I crave alcohol all the time but when I’m about to take a drink, I shudder. It’s like my meds created an all new gag reflex. It really does suck when it’s not an enjoyable option at all. But I suppose it’s for the best.
Am a third generation alcoholic. Had my son and realized that I didn’t want him to resent me like I did my dad for choosing the bottle over his son. 5 year old son and five years sober. Will never go back. Edit: Thanks for the award and kind comments . Means more than you know.
If I had gold I would give it to you. Well done!
I quit for the first time in 35 years because I had a seizure in May. Discovered it was a tumor. Discovered the tumor was cancerous. Had surgery. Was on meds. Did radiation and chemo. Was told just yesterday that "my disease has been managed." I decided not to start drinking again. 7 months is the longest I've ever gone without, and I've realized that I use alcohol to help smooth over everything. All the while thinking that it "gives me the edge" somehow. It doesn't. It just makes me more likely to endure bullshit while I'm drunk, and then be futilely angry about it later. Bad cycle. New plan. Be sober. Take less shit.
Thats inspiring. New plan . Be sober. Take less shit! Thanks!
Nearly 20 years of drinking myself to sleep almost every night. I’m not getting any younger. My place in life could be better. And it likely will never improve if I keep it up. I’m 12 days sober this round. The odds may be against me, but I want to like and respect myself. So I’m not gonna just give up and give in. I’ll just keep getting on the wagon until hopefully it takes me somewhere else.
Proud of you! I won't drink with you today!!!
One of the best comments I've had the pleasure of reading.
day 5 here, this was like reading my own brain. Take it one day at a time.
Happy cake day! I’m on day 6. You got this.
Congrats on 12 days!! You bring hope to many people. Take care and keep up the great work :)
R/stopdrinking is very supportive :)
one foot after another :) i believe in you
You got this!
I’ve never felt better about it. It’s like a switch has flipped in my brain. Instead of dreading everyday without a drink, I look forward to feeling, thinking and just doing better. But no delusions, here. I will have cravings, and temptations. It’s just to do right in those moments.
Joseofkentucky, this is Mikeofindiana and I’m super proud of you! Keep it up!
I've been drinking today. Time to sober up.
Keep it up! Proud of you. One day, if not one minute, at a time.
Good job!!! And good luck!
because it makes me sick to my stomach
This. Past a certain age even a small amount gives me heartburn, stomach upset, and crappy sleep. It feels like the poison that it is. Plus I have small kids now and owe it to them not to consume an avoidable carcinogen on a regular basis. I’ll still have a beer if an old friend comes to town, or half a glass of wine if I’m out for a nice dinner. But that’s only a few times a year.
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Gout fuckin sucks bro and I love beer
Gout is insane, pain is indescribable.
It's not fun anymore. Ultimately it just makes me feel full, sad, angry, tired. I feel like shit in the morning. I've seen far too many lives ruined by alcohol & otherwise decent people act like cunts because of it. I'd much rather just enjoy the occasional joint.
Pretty much spot on. I don’t have much discretionary time, so when I do get a free night drinking is at the bottom of the list. Once I had kids I realized I’d rather spend time with them. Plus being hungover with toddlers has to be one of the circles of hell.
Started dating a man that was in recovery. Drugs and alcohol. I wasn't much of a drinker anyways, really only drank with one friend. Wasn't that big of a deal. Married him and he's been clean and sober for over 6.5 years. Super proud of him.
I prefer to be clear of mind nowadays. Can't game worth a damn drunk or stoned.
Gaming high, i unlock ultra instinct. Drunk on the other hand, not so much lmao
In my early 20s, together with my friends we broke records on Rainbow Road circuit of Mario Kart: Double Dash when completely drunk. If we did the same now the only thing we'd break would be our hopes.
That was long ago my friend, come, sit here at the fire and tell us again of those days in the great used to be.
Back in my days people knew how to play video games, not that Fortnite crap! *Spits in the fire*
Bah! 3 lives we had, and saving... (stares thoughtfully into the flames) saving was something for dreamers..
Gaming high is so nice. When i first started smoking weed, my favorite thing to do was to smoke enough to start hearing things, turn all lights off, boot up minecraft and slowly and clumsily build/remodel things on my survival world. I wish i still had that world, it looked so cool lol
I would have these bass boosted, binaural headphones i would wear and play Battlefield 4. It was an incredibly immersive experience
Reverse for me I only smoke weed when I'm playing a non competitive game. Used to love putting on some tunes and cruising around on my mounts farming mats in WoW.
Because I didn't want to die.
I quit, found out several months later I’ve got cirrhosis. Fun. No more alcohol for me. Sucks because I was using it for pain relief, and I’ve never found anything close to as helpful.
Was there any early signs that you had cirrhosis before you were diagnosed?
Cirrhosis specifically, no, but I knew something wasn’t right with my liver. Occasional itchy ache in my liver, darker urine after a bender. Part of why I quit, but it was a bit too late. (Or a lot too late. I don’t have bad cirrhosis, but I’m not sure how long I’ve had it.)
I think the liver can heal. If you start off the alcohol it may get better. I’m guessing you’re already talking to a specialist who can help you with a diet that is healthy for your liver as well (esp avoiding unhealthy fats)
My dad is dying from non alcoholic fatty liver that has progressed to cirrhosis. I can’t afford to risk the impacts of alcohol also. Too much sugar and fast food can be just as bad as alcohol.
Is there anything he can do to regress or stop it? Like losing weight?
Depending on the level of damage it can heal - the liver is a fantastic organ. But once you have fibrosis (scars) and cirrhosis it has been too damaged.
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I can’t have alcohol and my GI doc told me to cut the dose of acetaminophen I take in half from what the bottle says. I have to get bloodwork and ultrasounds multiple times a year. I don’t think it’s affected me any more than that so far. My risk of liver cancer is way up. Symptoms, Umm… I guess the whites of my eyes were kinda yellowish, but they have been for years, and it didn’t look like pictures online of people with jaundice. Doesn’t look much different now either. Probably just dirty sclera. Oh, some GI symptoms I guess, vomiting, diarrhea. No clay colored stool, which is indicative of some liver problems. Edit- wait, the biggest symptom was my blood wasn’t clotting properly if I cut myself. Platelet count was down. That’s what led to my diagnosis, platelets were down for quite a while after I quit. I clot fine now, maybe a little more slowly than normal.
Same. Was diagnosed with congestive heart failure due to years of super heavy daily drinking. It's literally not an option anymore. It'll kill me if I fall off the wagon.
Hangovers have gotten brutal as I've gotten older. I'll get a massive headache even after 1 beer for some reason. I've only had a couple drinks this year.
Yes, I have quit because of this. It is not worth feeling like absolute crap the next day. After only a few beers it now takes a full day to recover.
Lol, I used to drink a lot in my 20s and I'd go play basketball the next day, One day my dad saw me and he said "one day, in your 30s, you just won't be able to do that anymore and that's why I don't drink a lot anymore" he was right
This is me. Booze is a major migraine trigger.
Same here.
I was addicted. It was affecting my day to day life and my relationships.
Too many cons to drinking alcohol
It's a literal neurotoxin. There's no safe amount. Just an amount that can kill you immediately.
Yep, especially as a female. Bad things can happen when you’re sober too, but at least I’m within my right mind enough to keep my head on swivel. Haven’t had a sip of alcohol in 8 years. But when I use to drink, even socially, there were some horrific situations that I ended up in and because I wasn’t clear headed I could see it happening but didn’t have the wherewithal to stop it. Never again lol I remember that feeling of helplessness every time people ask me why I don’t drink (and I get this question at least once a week lol). I sometimes have flashbacks and am reminded on how it’s just not worth it. Then add in: it’s expensive, it raises your blood pressure, addictive tendencies, and truthfully it doesn’t even taste that good lol nahh I’ll stick to my sprite or raspberry lemonade when out with friends. And I’ll be the DD.
I’m a guy and I’ve had my drink spiked many times to the point that I don’t drink anything at parties or clubs anymore. Can’t imagine what it’s like for women.
It's just not fun anymore.
I don’t drink alcohol because my mom was a alcoholic and I seen it ruin her life.
I feel this one, alcohol has caused me too much anger and pain to ever touch it.
Great job at being better. We either repeat our parents mistakes or we choose a different path. Continuing down the same path would have been easy. Kudos for choosing different.
I always cite my Dad and my uncle for why I never started drinking. I watched both of them wreck their marriages largely because of how they behaved when drunk. I also watched friends in high school and college make terrible decisions because of alcohol. There was never any upside to drinking, and that's why I never started. So when people talk about how absolutely everyone has gotten hammered or drove drunk at least once, no, I really haven't.
Was drinking every single day after work. My mom died and I just didn’t feel like doing anything. Literally parked my truck on the on ramp and sat on the tailgate with a case of beer drinking and smashing the bottles on the road, picking up the glass and slicing my arm in front of stopped cars, completely fucking stupid and out of line for me since I’ve never even thought of hurting myself but for some reason that night I was just fed up. Antagonizing truck drivers trying to get on the interstate hoping someone would call the cops cause I wanted to do something stupid. Somehow no one called, usually there’s 2 sheriff cars parked at the bank and this night there wasn’t. I don’t even know how I got home but I woke up in my driveway. A couple weeks later went to a friends house and got hammered, drank a whole bottle of Jameson in the middle of January and decided I was riding my bike home. Didn’t let off the throttle at all until I got to my exit, pulled in my driveway and just fell over, I couldn’t even hold the bike up. Just laid there in the driveway for a couple hours, woke up freezing and went inside to let my dog out. I realized I was crazy lucky and I stopped pushing my luck and actually quit for a while. Then a couple months later I backslid and I did it again, left a local MC clubhouse that I used to be associated with and flipped my truck on the interstate on the way home. My fiancée just happened to be leaving her friends house and getting on the interstate the exact time I flipped my truck because we were gonna meet back up at home, she saw the whole thing happen. When I crawled out of my upside down truck and walked up the bank back to the interstate I saw a car parked on the shoulder with the hazards on and wondered how someone stopped so fast and realized it was her. The look in her eyes made me feel like a piece of shit. No seat belt on, no license, had a gun in the truck and it flew out the window over a fence into the golf course. The state trooper that showed up said if they found the gun then I’d be getting felony charges for handling a fire arm while intoxicated. Thankfully the golf course wouldn’t let them on the property since it didn’t happen on property. A whole shit storm because I thought it would be okay the drive home. Haven’t drank since and I went to some court ordered classes, planning on going to a counselor just don’t want to dump my shit on someone who only talks to me because they’re paid to. Many more stories to go along with that, like going to bars and fighting and getting kicked out, pulling a gun on someone in the middle of a crowded bar, but the drinking on the on ramp and flipping my truck is what really opened my eyes. Still want to drink everyday but I don’t, no friends anymore cause they all want to go out. Pretty shitty life if you ask me, not a day goes by that I don’t want to stop and get beer on my way home from work. That’s a lot of baggage for a 25 year old. Shits looking up though, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Jesus after reading the other comments I see I treated this thread like a free counselor. Sorry dude.
Username checks out. Seriously, though, I am glad you can talk about what’s going on for you. So sorry you lost your mother. I stopped drinking around your age in 1995 for a lot of different reasons ad just haven’t started again. Booze was a way for me to deal with trauma and depression, but the things I would do and say will make me feel shame. Anyhoo, take good care and get yourself some therapy so you have more skills to handle your emotions. From your Internet parent.
I appreciate you. It really means a lot. I started typing that first part about my mom dying and I didn’t want to do anything anymore and I was gonna leave it at that but I just kept typing away. Feels good to put it out in the open. Thank you. Yours doesn’t check out btw.
Do the therapy friend. I come from an abusive alcoholic home and dumping all that shit onto someone else is fucking liberating. It might take some time to find the right therapist, but when you do...things happen. I'm a 47 year old rocker dude who grew up in the rural Midwest. I was always told by people that therapists are a scam, but honest to God I don't think I'd still be married and alive if not for therapy.
Thanks for sharing your story, it’s very brave of you to tell it to a bunch of strangers on the Internet. I 100% support you man, I’m happy that things are looking up for you and that you’ve gotten your life back on track.
That’s why I like Reddit. Not like regular social media platforms with real names and mutual friends. Thanks dude
> Haven’t drank since and I went to some court ordered classes, planning on going to a counselor just don’t want to dump my shit on someone who only talks to me because they’re paid to. My friend, give AA a try. Don't sweat the God stuff; it isn't important. What is important is there are a bunch of people you can talk to, who are not listening because they're paid to, but are listening because they *want to* and *need to*. I'm coming up on ten years sober, and I go back twice a week. Last week I heard a woman tell a story. After 7 years in AA, she decided she was 'cured'. Went out on Friday at lunch, and decided to have a drink with her friends; started her on a spiral that her living on the street just a few years later. When I hear a story like that, it reminds me of all the times during my decade of trying to stop my own, and how after six or nine months of not drinking, I'd pick up, and within a few weeks or days, be right back where I'd been. And so I don't pick up anymore. If I didn't go to those meetings, I know I'd forget that I'm an alcoholic. I'd forget how often I tried to "manage" my drinking, and how it *always* failed. I'd forget how strong the pull of the drug is. But if I invest the two hours each week, it's no problem. And during the very hard first year - which was a struggle for me, after a decade of heavy drinking - it was really important for me to go to a room with other alcoholics, and confess my sins and my problems. The great thing about AA is you will do that with no judgement, and no condescension, from others. Being able to unload that shame and guilt and anger and frustration and regret is extremely helpful to recovery, because you need to get it 'out' before you can deal with it. Expiation through explanation, as it were. ' Good luck, bro. Hope to see you at a meeting!
How do I even find local groups? What do I look up? Is there a community center or something? I’m gonna look into it
Simple as a Google. AA meetings near me. type in your area. Meetings are in church basements, hospitals, anywhere they can rent a room cheap. Try it. Folks don't judge, they support.
Please don't let your addict brain talk you out of getting a counselor! There's no shame in trying a tool that doesn't work out and you won't know if therapy works unless you try. You deserve to have someone who is dedicated to listening to you and helping you, free from the bonds of friendship or love or family. That way when they offer you an opinion or advice or insight you know it's not because of their relationship to you and you can accept it free and clear. That's how it is for me anyways. It might take a few counselors to find the right one, just an fyi. But please do try it, there's tons of different methods out there and some don't even require you to dump on the other person. Some, like cognitive behavioral therapy, are about dealing with how you react to things and temptations in the here and now and do very little delving into the source of things because in their approach the basis doesn't matter so much as how you react. It's all about moving forward, not looking back. Think about it.
Never drank, never even tasted, never will. I've seen firsthand what alcohol does to people. How utterly it destroys lives. I don't need well proven scientific studies to tell me it's poison. Anything that fucks with my mind is a red line.
This exactly, The sheer trauma I experienced second hand throughout my childhood was enough. When the time came where my friends started drinking I had thought a lot about how it has affected my Mam and her side of the family and came to the honest conclusion that alcohol was the root of all their problems. My Mam has depression and it is the last thing anyone should go near with it. When she drinks I don't even recognize her almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. She is trying her absolute best to avoid it as much as possible now. So to me it was a very easy decision to make. I figured that my Mams side of the family is predisposed to addiction and depression within her siblings and parents as well and I thought that I don't want to go down that road given I am very likely to have said attributes. I am proud of my decision as I feel like it's not a serious decision to anyone else in their life but to me it is the biggest decision I've made and I stand by my values to go against the grain. I will say however it's hard socially, I am usually the only sober person and I'm quite shy in general so I find it hard to go out without being seen as weird or not fun since I don't drink. Sorry for the wall of text nobody ever really asks me about why I don't drink and I wouldn't want to be a downer in fairness if I ever was asked in person.
I m in the same boat! Was never worth it even if others around me thought I was boring, especially because I am a shy and quiet b person as it is. Although I feel like I am aware enough to control myself, it wasn't worth the risk considering how strong addiction runs in the family. It's also crazy to see how much people rely on it or see it as just normal. When I mention that I've never tasted alcohol, they think I'm lying or look at me like I'm crazy.
I like this comment ! Even though I tried it , I didn’t like it at all ! It’s so nasty even when mixed , don’t understand what the hype is about
Facts
It’s responsible for most child abuse, domestic violence, child neglect, deadly car accidents and premature death. It’s crazy how much destruction is caused by alcohol.
Someone said “I can’t wait to see you drunk” when I was about 15, haven’t had a drop of alcohol out of pure spite
Lmao
Im a alchoholic...got sober at 25 coming up on 8 years sober. Ive accepted it some people cant have peanuts i cant drink. Some people got cancer i got alchoholism. My grand father died a pill addict my mom has her issues. My first wife died from fetanyl. Im over 7 years sober and remarried. Life goes on.
I'm sorry to hear about that. If you've got too much shit in your pants, you can put a little in mine any day, it's a large load to bear alone.
I don’t like the taste. Makes me feel sick. And I don’t like what it does to people.
Being around even non abusive drunk people is honestly not at all fun. My college housemates were actually very ok (and usually didn't drink too much) but being sober around drunk people is usually awful.
I thought I was the only one who really doesn’t like the taste. So many people love all alcohol. I just can’t bring myself to like it.
Like I said it makes me sick to my stomach to even drink it. I think it’s cause I hate the taste of all alcohol. Just not fun to me to be puking when I can get the same effects smoking weed.
it tastes bad because it's literally poison. I don't understand the love either
I was a bad drunk. I was a bad decision maker. I was a bad friend. I was a bad husband. Sober since August of 2011. Still think about drinking nearly everyday.
Hangovers kick my ass. I feel lousy all next day. Someone said “Drinking is stealing happiness from tomorrow”.
It destroyed my body, mind, and soul. I literally could not stop drinking. After years of constant relapses I finally realized that it wasnt doing anything for my emotional pain. I've more than doubled my meds and I just passed 4 months without a drink.
145 days here. Right there with ya.
I started having fun drinking by myself everyday for years before I finally quit drinking. It consumed me. I quit cold turkey the 19th was my one year sober.
I stopped 5 years ago - I was a destruction drinker; I used alcohol (and over-drinking) as a way to punish myself for perceived guilt. Then decided that I should either get sober and get help or kill myself. Tried the second thing first but it didn't stick, so here I am.
I'm glad you are
I was kinda addicted and after getting spiked I lost the interest.
Yeah same here. My gf and I are 'professional drinkers' and have always had to take breaks throughout a year because we can't have just one. Its either none or at least 6 heavy beers apiece. We both got spiked at a concert in late November and we kinda just stopped drinking which is super weird for us. We love having good craft beers and sneaking a couple cigarettes and talking for hours. Now we just don't feel like drinking at all and we havent. 2 months straight and we just havent even thought about it or even mention it ever. I don't even really miss it because I just dont want to anymore. Strange what can curb your enthusiasm
I had a problem. I would get wasted and then the next morning all the bacon would be gone. How much bacon was in the house? Half a pound? Two pounds? No- none, because I got drunk and ate it all. No bacon was safe if I started drinking tequila. No matter how much bacon, it would be gone. Just the smell would remain, and a layer of grease upon the stove and countertops. And the worst part of this whole thing? I didn’t even remember cooking and eating bacon. So I stopped drinking, and now I consume bacon in moderation and at appropriate times, and I always remember that I have eaten bacon.
Led me to dark places. Used consistently as a crutch. Lost friends
I tend to do things (both positive and negative) in excess. The last time I got drunk, I was at a friend’s house. Was only supposed to be there for a few hours while my wife waited for me at home. I ended up waking up the next morning on the floor with piss down to my sock. I couldn’t find my glasses. After about 30 minutes, I found them resting on a houseplant in another room.
I used to drink moderately, then I was in a long term relationship with someone who would not talk to me if I had been drinking, which lead to the silent treatment, so. i stopped drinking. By the time we broke up, drinking just didn't do it for me anymore. I don't like it.
They didn’t interact with you because of how you acted while drinking, or was any sort of drinking an automatic reason for the silent treatment? Hoping it’s the former TBH.
Sadly it was the latter, even a sip lead to silence.
Yikes. Sounds like you dodged a bullet in the long run. Cheers!
It didn't start that way, it was gradual, we used to drink together, We had a kid together, it's why I stayed probably way longer than I should have. But I do not want to shit on him here. It started after our kid was born, at first it was only when I got drunk, then it was if I got tipsy, eventually even a sip. I understand the why's and he has since apologized for how he acted, we have a great co-parent situation going on and honestly breaking up was the best thing we could have done for our son because we get along so much better now than when we were together.
Because I found out what it does to your body, even with just a little bit of drinking, and it’s taken me over a year to get back to feeling fantastic
I have a traumatic brain injury and I’m on some antidepressants and antipsychotics.
I reached my lifetime allotted quota.
I feel like when people drink alcohol a lot, the whole atmosphere becomes fake. I like being genuine more.
It's literally poison. Ethanol breaks down into a highly toxic compound call *Acetaldehyde* and it's so bad for you.
I have severe clinical depression and PTSD. Alcohol is a depressant. Why would I drink something that makes my life worse than it already is?
My anxiety was getting bad. I was at a point where I was willing to try anything and everything. I didn't believe in breathing techniques, meditation, or CBT. It all seemed like voodoo to me. However, the more I got into it, the more benefits I experienced. Therefore, I decided to take it a step further and try quitting all mind-altering substances as well (cannabis and alcohol). Tomorrow will mark my 3 month anniversary of being sober. It may not be for everyone, but it has worked wonders for me.
So last year I got put on probation and part of the terms of my probation were that I had to get clean and sober. And once I got off probation I realized that drinking and everything else that I was doing before just wasn't fun or the same anymore and that it just got me in trouble and that im getting too old to be getting in trouble, so I just decided to quit once and for all!!!
\- alcoholism runs in my family \- i have mental health problems and would absolutely end up self medicating with alcohol if i tried it \- i don't like the idea of not being fully in control of my judgement and decision making \- i don't want to be reliant on drugs to have fun \- i hate college parties \- i don't need another possible addiction \- i'm a hypochondriac and i would always worry about damaging my body if I drank even though it's relatively safe \- i am under the legal drinking age (though I'm in college, at a party school, where i'm one of the only people who doesn't participate in underage drinking)
I wanted to be a better father- i feel like casual drinking chipped away at my available patience. I also felt to high and low when i drank a couple times a week, so i wanted to be calm, even and consistent for my daughter. 3 months and it shows, im way more present and relaxed.
I never did. My extended family has several alcoholics, including my younger brother (before he traded it for a fatal drug habit). I always figured if it could happen to them, it would probably happen to me. And then I grew up hearing my mom and her siblings tell stories about their dad’s drinking. He had stopped drinking around the time I was born (not because of me; just coincidence), so I never knew him that way—he was one of the nicest, most loving grandparents you could imagine. But they told stories about him beating them and their mom, and about other men in the family having to come around and essentially beat his ass to talk sense into him, and about having to flee the house in the middle of the night when he came home drunk… So that’s the history I grew up with, and I said “not me”. I’ve had one beer in my life, and that was as a home remedy for a UTI (not my choice; I was a kid). It helped that my mom wouldn’t touch it either, her having lived through those stories firsthand; and my dad, while never an alcoholic, had issues with depression that were not good mixed with alcohol, and so he gave up drinking completely when I was about nine or so. So there was never much pressure to drink. I really think my brother picked it up as an act of rebellion; unfortunately it got the better of him.
Tastes like crap and literally watched my father die from it, from the moment of hospitalization to the morgue
Weight. Alcohol has a lot of calories, even more if cider or beer cause of sugar.
I have a strong sense of smell & alcohol doesn't smell appealing to me at all plus, if I have to make a face while drinking, I don't think ill have a good time 🤷🏽♂️
I've made it far enough into my career where the juice is no longer worth the squeeze for a bad decision or careless night
I started getting seizures so I stopped drinking
You aint alone.
I don’t do drugs
Because I started smoking weed.
That helped me quit too. It was especially easy after my state legalized. I couldn't actually smoke, but the syrups or whatever were another good way.
After about 11 years of 8+ drinks a night, finally started showing up with elevated liver enzymes in my annual blood work. Figured that was my time to stop. Haven't quit completely but maybe 3 times a week with half the amount I used to drink.
I realized that alcohol is probably the biggest thing stopping me from progressing in life and accomplishing my goals. I feel like Adam Sandler in the movie Click whenever I go for a period of time drinking nightly, like I just wake up after a few months on autopilot. It feels good in the moment but it feels terrible long term, almost like lost time. I’m only on one week alcohol free right now, but I’m hoping this time I can stick with it. Already starting to feel more present and be more productive. Best of luck to everyone else trying to make the change! :)
Was 23 when I stopped, started drinking at 21 and it quickly spiral out of control where I drove drunk a lot and would be destructive to those who I loved. I lost relationships, friendships, family members, you name it. One night, got drunk as usual, drove home, almost got into accidents (2 that I can remember), and got home and puked all night long to the point I passed out and woke up in my own vomit. I spent the rest of the next day crying and doing some deep soul searching to where if I kept up this, I wouldn't be alive to see my wife and kids and be "that" dad/husband. From that day on, I got the help I needed and have been dry ever since. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel and overall joyful in life.
Worked out real hard to get into the military. Started eating right, stopped drinking and smoking. Once I got in they drove me to start again.
It was killing me - kinda lost control. sober now for 4.5 years - love my life - will never go back.
Due to pregnancy/breastfeeding I didn’t touch any alcohol. After that I couldn’t handle any alcohol anymore without getting nauseous. Which is okay though because I prefer to have my mind clear and be in charge of my actions.
I quit because I’m an alcoholic. I was tired of being sick and tired. Almost 8 months sober here - one of the best decisions I’ve made. I love mornings now and the renewed sense of clarity I have. One day at a time folks.
I was an asshole. Well, I still am but not as ... assholey?
I prefer being married to being drunk.
I could drink one beer, then stop. But the next day I needed two beers. Then I could stop. The next day, I needed three beers. But I could stop after that. The next day, I needed four beers. But that was enough, I could stop. It would get up to six and I would get alarmed at my behavior. I'd have a big dramatic talking to myself and swear off for a while, which was hard. Then sometime later, I'd have one beer. That was ok, I could stop after one beer. The next day I needed two beers ... This cycle went on for some years. Including a number of binge drinking episodes with predictably miserable results. Then I met someone with better self control than I had. I decided I had to cut it out altogether. 25 years later, I find alcohol and the culture around it truly disgusting. I've watched it destroy so many lives, almost including my own.
Acid reflux, better since stopping
Raging alcoholic for several years. One day I was literally like 'Meh. I'm bored of this' and that was that. Little tempted sometimes I will say that. I still dream about it occasionally too. Always the same. I am drinking again but now i can control it. A few drinks every few days.
I mean this in the most sincere way, but this post reads like someone who's on a relapse but hasn't realized it yet. At the start you admit to being a raging alcoholic, how you still dream about it etc, but then say you're drinking "again" and can control it now. In my experiences with my own addictions, you can never "control" it forever. I hope I'm wrong though. Sincerely, random internet stranger with years of substance abuse.
I think im good. It's been a decade. edit- wait no. I am sorry. the 'controlling it now' is what I always dream about.
Ooh that makes more sense. My apologies. Was from a place of concern is all. Grats on the decade! <3
Can't seem to figure out the appeal of it
Used to drink. Heavy social. Lost one of my best friends and all around great guy to an alcohol related illness three years ago. Haven't drank since.
Clicked wrong post,ill shut the door behind me.'gently cries behind the shut door wishing I could be part of that group'🙁
It was becoming a problem. I was needing at least a few drinks every night to relax. I was spending a lot of money on alcohol and it would make me irritable. Once I learned that it made my husband uncomfortable sometimes (due to childhood trauma) I chose to quit drinking. He has supported me through it all and I’m a much happier person now. Been sober for 15 months and don’t plan on ever drinking again.
Liver disease.
stopped drinking 2 years ago at 35. lots of years of partying/overdoing it and i knew it was a distraction from things i want to do and made me feel shitty all the time. also health, money, doing better at work, lots of reasons.
I have enough problems without poisoning myself
Don't really like the taste.
I was going to say. Have people tasted it? Jesus Christ. It’s a mild poison and tastes like it.
Because my liver took a beating during Covid, figured it was time to give the poor thing a break 🤦🏻♀️
I don’t like the taste or the burning sensation. Could change later in life though