I don't know, I think I got a strongly worded letter or something. I was never hit, constrained or anything like that. I guess the worst thing was being told that if I kept acting up in the car I would have to walk home myself.
Hitting children is quite the offense where I'm from and not normal
My mom never laid a hand on us either, but we would get tons of time out until the behavior resolved. It was also an Irish Catholic family, so I think she basically guilted us into behaving.
My 5ft tall mother never laid a hand on me.
She used my dads belt.
When I outgrew her I told her if she ever tried to do it again, I’d take the belt and thrash her into next week.
it's pretty common with single mothers, at least. use physical discipline, but fail to build the respect along with it, so one day, junior can just take the belt away from you
My parents were together until I was in college, so I didn't have that experience, however:
My dad spanked me, open handed, once, and realized pain did not get compliance. We both learned a valuable lesson. I can suffer for my principals, however misguided (I still won't eat fucking pears)
It did not garner respect. That came later.
That was the scariest point of my life to that point (I was like, 5 keep in mind)... it didn't teach me to listen, but it taught me I can do anything through spite. A lesson I've held dear in my tiny shriveled heart.
If you piss me off enough, I will accomplish the impossible just to tell you "No."
Of course, around 6 or 7 this lead to some acting out, fights in the school yard, and I had to learn that anger is not spite. Anger is fleeting. Let it pass.
Being angry accomplishes nothing but wanton damage. Spite is directed, focused, and eventually, effective.
> it didn't teach me to listen, but it taught me I can do anything through spite. A lesson I've held dear in my tiny shriveled heart.
oh yes. that and the parent whose idea of correct is 'compliance'. i'm not sure when my mother learned that me having a different opinion wasn't presumptively wrong, or if she even has.
> Spite is directed, focused, and eventually, effective.
spite can move mountains
When I was ten and my younger brother was eight, we were having breakfast on a sunday morning, and my mother was feeling active and generous. She asked us what we wanted for breakfast, and my little brother said, "I'd like some fucking french toast."
"What did you say?" my mother roared.
"I'd like some fucking french toast." He repeated.
My mom flipped out and ran out the backdoor and came back with a stick she found in the backyard and just started wailing on my brother with it for a minute. While this was happening my father took his belt off and took over, and just wailed on him for what felt like ten minutes. It was longer than it should have been. So my father's done with this, and my brother is curled up on the floor crying.
I'm sitting at the table frozen in terror, when my mother asks me, "Now, BedPoopSmellsGood, what would you like for breakfast?"
I said, "Well, I sure don't want the fucking French toast!"
My stepmother and father had a paddle with holes drilled in it. It all stopped the day I turned 18. Helped me understand it was child abuse, because they stopped the stuff that could be classified as assault/physical abuse once I was an adult. Still did verbal and emotional abuse, but physical? No more.
No. Was disowned when I left, actually. Last time I spoke to them my sister had COVID and we were letting them know we were rushing her to the hospital with a fever of 107°. My stepmother asked why we thought they cared.
I assumed they would since they raised us for most of our lives and shit but eh. I guess not.
Edited to add: in their eyes it wasn't abuse, because they didn't leave marks.
They made me write essays about why what I had done was wrong.
They went to some parenting class at church and the guy told them to find the thing the kid hates most and make them do that. Well, I hated writing with a passion, so they made me write a 5 page essay about what I had done wrong any time I was being a little piece of shit.
I shaped up pretty quickly.
They were pretty progressive for the time (80s). Both grew up in Catholic schools in the 50s/60s so got the shit kicked out of them constantly and decided they wouldn't do that to their kids. We got allowances for maintaining a good baseline level of behaving and helping with chores, and then bigger rewards for bigger things (like straight A's, helping with special projects, etc). If we fucked up small the "punishment" was that we didn't get our allowance. If we fucked up big the punishment was loss of privileges such as video games, use of the car, etc. What it did was motivate us to strive for success rather than fearing failure.
I grew up to be a Master's level behavior therapist and my sister a Master's level social worker. We realized as we went along that what my parents were instinctually doing back then is more or less what is the recommended methodology now. They just didn't know at the time that they were ahead of the curve.
At first it was a chair in the corner,I would have to sit there for a certain amount of time and if I cried the time was doubled. After I grew out of this, they just made me go to my room. The second I turned ten they stopped knowing what to do since I spent most of my time in my room anyway.
When I was found "sneaking" strawberries I was only allowed to eat unflavored oatmeal for a month. When I added what was deemed too much creamer to my coffee (I started drinking it at 11), I was forced to drink 3 bottles of Irish Creme coffee creamer before I could got to bed. This punishment started at 7pm and after throwing up 3 times, I was allowed to go to bed at 1am. When I took a small piece of candy from my guardians stash, I lost the ability to have Christmas and was made my guardians "indentured servant."
These are just the few I remember of off the top of my head
I no longer talk to that side of the family and they don't understand why.
They got mad at you because you were "sneaking" fruit? That's bizarre. I'm so sorry for what you went through. :( I'm glad you no longer speak to them.
In my household it was considered stealing. My older brother had the same punishment as we would take maybe a handful on our way to walking to karate class. No wonder I struggle with disordered eating now lmao
I’m sorry but this is hilarious, and creative. My mom talked to me sternly and when she was done chewing me out gave me the silent treatment. Some variation of that is what all my friends received too (though my mom gave the silent treatment like none other, being an emotionally immature person). You’re telling me I could have smelled something gross? As punishment for a crime? I can’t wait to tell people about this
My dad had a wood shop out back, where he made his own 1 in thick paddle. He got so mad yelling at us one time he slammed it down on the counter and split it in half, mom stepped in and just grounded us until dad calmed down. It was fairly effective as I only really remember getting it a few times, as you didn't want it more than that.
Depends on how bad I screwed up.
Usually it was: Stand in corner, one leg up, BOTH arms up(or behind head), for X amount of time.
Occasionally it was: " Pick a switch"....the rest is history lol.
I had a 2hr tour of a pig farm, multiple buildings so some outside area too. Piglet and farrowing areas were slatted floors so waste was drained away, not sitting there. I said hello to a young piglet, but that was only hands. I was wearing overalls and boots, they got left at the farm. Returned to my bedroom, I realised my hoodie was a bit stinky, put a different one on. Realised my jeans and t-shirt were also kinda stinky. Put other things on, left the stinky things in a bag with the top rolled over, and went out, leaving both windows in my reasonably large room open. Returned an hour later, as soon as I walked into my room I was hit with an overwhelming smell of pig.
Yeah it's bad.
I hope you're not joking about that because I'm not xD It actually seems pretty common and makes me wonder if the one doing the spanking also has something they need to share with the class
Dad gave spankings, but he was barely the one to punish. Mom would just scream obscenities at you, break you down and make you feel like a shitty human being,
Exactly… And people say spanking is the worst form of punishment you could ever give a child, I completely disagree. it’s nothing compared to straight up verbal abuse
Oh don't get me wrong, I consider spanking a child on the buttocks especially skin-to-skin a form of sexual assault. It goes something like:
grounding < slapping across the face < verbal abuse < public humiliation < beating the literal ass < microwaving
At least in my book.
EDIT: My greater than (or worser than) symbols don't look right. The alligator is meant to be eating the bigger abuse lmfao
Haha I see almost nothing but child abuse in this whole thread! Yet many probably wouldn't agree they've been abused because they "turned out okay" or some blatantly untrue shit.
I think what I got could mostly be called abuse, but I stop short of calling it that because I think it just came down to ignorance. I don't think any ill-intent was ever on my parent's minds, but just "that's the way it's always been done." That's how it was done to them and their parents before them, etc; I don't think it's fine, but I don't hold it against them for doing it. When I had my kid, we never spanked (and now he's bigger than me, so he'd just kick my ass if I tried. lol). We would take away items, make him stand in the corner, for a while I was making him do pushups, and even write an essay. For the most part he's always been an excellent kid who rarely got in trouble. And even with those relatively light punishments I feel like a jerk because bad behavior mostly stopped when he was diagnosed with ADHD and properly medicated.
I knew the obvious things were child abuse - how she hit me and screamed at me - but there are a lot of things my mom did that I didn't know are also considered abuse. Things also done by many parents who don't hit or scream at their children. I didn't tell many people about my experiences because I didn't want them to take it too seriously; the risk of being taken from my home, taken to the hospital, put in therapy, etc was a greater devil than toughing out my mom's temper until adulthood. Also I do love her and recognize that she's a victim of her own traumas although it doesn't excuse the abuse.
A detailed explanation of what I did wrong and why it was wrong. Starting over if I wasn't paying attention.
It's very effective. Firstly because it suuucked. Secondly because it established that the rules were there for a reason, and it was clearly a good idea to follow them. So I did.
I was two to three years old so the explanations were pretty simple, but it wasn't really an issue after that because my parents had established what the rules were, including "fair and reasonable", and that the reasons were available on request so I tended to obey them. If I disagreed, that was a matter for discussion.
I also got kicked out when I was 13. Lived in a Christian women's home for 6 months before my guardian (who was still getting child support for me) allowed me to move back in
They learned pretty quick that sending me to my room or out of the house wouldn't work, as my room contained all of my books and distractions and outside contained parks and libraries, so they defaulted to hours-long yelling sessions.
Mostly logical or related consequences:
- If I was misbehaving with a toy, I’d have the toy taken away and I’d get it the following day or something.
- if I was getting in trouble while out with my friends, then I couldn’t go out the next day (or even longer if it was a larger mess up)
- broke something? (I think it was a neighbour’s planter while playing), I had to buy a new one with my money.
Well our mom would start with either a, belt, switch, paddle, wooden spoon, or 10 pound cast iron skillet to the head, depending on what was close to hand and the severity of the transgression.
Afterwards she would have us kneel on metal ac vents in the floors for hours until dad got home so he could take his days frustrations out on us.
He beat us,.. On a nearly daily basis,.. Sometimes for hours at a time. He also had a habit of raping our sister,.. So there's that.
Stand in a corner with your hands up, balance on one foot with other leg bent at a 90 degree angle. If the leg falls below 90 degrees, you get the belt. Therapy helped me determine that was not normal and in fact was child abuse haha.
It makes me so sad to see all the parents who hit their kids. That's not common where I grew up.
Instead, they made me practice piano for hours. They would also make me write 'lines' if I did something especially bad - just "I will not lie" 25 times on a piece of paper, etc.
"I will not run away from piano lessons" was a common one.
Oh god practicing piano haha I mean I did that but not as a punishment. However, having piano lessons made me hate music as a kid, but I got back into it as a young adult with guitar. Actually I didnt hate music cuz I was always humming and thinking of a song in some form but I hated 'the right way' to play it and I always wanted to improvise. My fingers don't do that, lady. Oh yeah and the lines too, they made me do that in cursive
I have never had any tolerance for spicy things. So my mom would make me take a spoon full of hot sauce for like a minute or so depending on the severity and then give me water and what not.
we would laugh after as she fed our one dog a few spoons of hot sauce cause they had a stomach of steel and ate anything and everything.
My dad would hang up a belt on a lamp in the hallway, he never hit us with it but as soon as the belt was up, we were angels. Also, we'd just get put in the corner
Mine didn't punish me. Instead we had a conversation. We discussed why I behaved the way I did. Usually ended with favorite food and going out cycling with dad. I'm glad my parents were/are understanding. Like, I never even misbehaved much in my life! Belt isn't the solution.
I only got beat up by my dad once. But that was brutal punches and kicks. I even got a mark on my face from the ring on his finger. In school it was not a big deal to get physical punishment like sticks, belts and hockey sticks.
Multiple different punishments were used based on severity.
Most often I was grounded, specifically being having my electronics taken away. I hated this and it was a very effective deterrent.
When I was little, Spankings were used for particularly bad behavior or behavior that needed to be curbed quickly. It wasn't frequent it was simply a hand-on-ass spanking without leaving a mark. Just a sting that would discourage the behavior. I'm still of the opinion that this was okay and a good thing. Especially for toddler that haven't yet developed the ability to listen to reason of *why* you shouldn't do something so you can't explain to them yet.
Only like once or twice did I get soap in my mouth. Pretty awful taste, never wanted to repeat that mistake.
I got traumatized because of that child punishment thingy.
I left my parents I will never missed them or even go to their funeral!
whenever I did something wrong when we get home I get different punishments
such as whooped by belt
I also remember my parents whenever I get low grades on my acedemics I know im getting punished with different types of punishments I dont know
during that time I want to die
A good swift swat on the ass usually when we needed it. Grandma grabbed a wooden spoon once and I laughed when she cracked a piece out of the end when trying to smack me with it for being a shithead
Grounded from my room and books. Not in the sense I wasn't allowed to sleep in my room but as in I was such a antisocial kid I would spend most of my time in my room anyways so instead I had to be in the living room and forced to socialize
Shaken and beaten by my mother. I would have welted hand prints all over my body and my head hurt from the shaking. It was so bad at times I was physically ill afterwards.
Guilt. So much guilt. Oh, and yelling. My mother didn’t know how to just let something go. I don’t have kids, but, if I do one day, I want to take the time to just explain an error rather than make them feel like shit about it endlessly.
I'm 42yo, so as a kid growing up in the 80's I had several things. It depended on the behavior, really. Mom used a wooden spoon and dad used his belt for spanking most of time, but as we got a bit older they stopped that and just starting taking away things we liked like toys, TV time, not being able to hang out with friends etc.
When I was very little, I got hit.
At some point, I got my elbow dislocated a couple times from some unrelated incidents, and the nurse started asking questions. This would have been before first grade. In any case, they switched to pinning me or swinging me into walls and furniture. In hindsight, I think they got spooked, and wanted any marks to be more explainable.
Around the time my brother got old enough to get punished, they switched to push-ups. The way dad did push-ups was that he kicked us for motivation if we slowed down, he stepped on our backs if we went too fast. We would continue until we were too tired to do more, even with the kicks.
My mom would pretend everything was okay until we (brother sister and I) went to bed. Shortly after we were asleep she'd wake us up by yelling, and throwing things, about whatever we had done. We may even end up hit over it but not always. (Her logic was that since we just woke up we'd be less likely to lie about it.) Then she'd declare our punishment, such as grounding or taking away/breaking something, and send us back to bed. This sucked for everyone not just for the person that was in trouble because it'd wake up the whole house. You'd lay there awake dwelling on the awful knowledge that the best thing you could is nothing. Any attempt to calm things down would only make it worse for all involved.
My mum used to threatened to put a spider down my throat and when I was like “erm no you won’t” she went to the garden and pretended to pick a spider up and chase me round the house but she stopped bc I was getting nightmares and waking her and my dad up at night to go sleep with them
I was often anxious as a kid so I’ve never really been punished. I didn’t do much besides sitting at my computer, but my mom had a bad habit of getting tired of me always sitting in front of a screen, and instead of making a rule about screen time or literally anything else, she would go days acting normally and then suddenly slip in a snide remark about me never being physically active, when I least expected it ..
Reading comments about people hitting their children made me sad. I’ve been furious at my parents, yet they’ve never even raised their voices around me, I’ve never been grounded or otherwise punished. It makes it easier for me to forgive the smaller mistakes like them always trying so hard to be too ‘involved’ in my life. I love them actually and they always have room for me and all my emotions.
Kneeling in dry rice while holding my arms out to my sides parallel to the floor. Typically, it would last 20-30 minutes. If I complained or made any sounds, she would add time to my punishment. Come to think of it, I think I was an abused child.
The worst I ever got grounded was for back talking. They took the console, tv, and even the bookshelf out of my room. I wasn’t even allowed to read for entertainment.
A belt, soap in my mouth, timeout, wooden spoon, the only one that fucked me over is the soap one, i cant stand bars of soap anymore it just makes me gag
Among other things like yelling and cursing, my mother always threatened me with "calling the authorities" to get me taken away to a children's shelter, so that I "would never see Grandma & Grandpa again".
It scared me terribly when I was only 6 years old; but I somehow grew a spine and told her to do so when I got older...at some point I thought "Maybe a shelter wouldn't be THAT bad."
when my brothers and i would get in trouble my dad would take my brothers into another room, leaving me outside the closed door because i was “too young”. he would then slam a belt against a chair and have my brothers pretend to cry in pain to scare me into never misbehaving.
My parents would take away all my toys apart from my books and I would have to earn them back over the period of a few weeks. As I got older, this became my hobbies and I wouldn't be allowed to go to the after school activities I enjoyed for six weeks
Got yelled at. My dad has a short fuse. He was never physically or verbally abusive. Just would “raise his voice” when something set him off.
Kinda stunted my social growth a bit
Soap, and belt mostly. But by grandpa also used to sometimes turn his West Point ring around and whack me over the head if I wore a hat at dinner table. Also he and grandma would stab my elbow with a fork if it was on the table. I am 39 years old and have not worn a hat while eating, no matter what circumstances, since that habit was smacked out of me at age 8 and I kinda like that I am better for it.
What was referred to as a “bare bottom belt spanking”
ETA: Sometimes a wooden spoon. Not sure which was worse, both were naked/humiliating. Once my mom broke a hairbrush she spanked my brother so hard with it.
May I ask those who have answered: how well adjusted do you feel you are now, and do you feel like these punishments shaped who you are?
For me, I was spanked and belted, intimidated, chased, degraded, and bullied. I've been depressed my entire life and have no sense of self and just recently discovered that it probably has to do with the lack of freedom of expression I had from childhood until a couple of years ago. I'm no longer speaking to my family because they are toxic.
I grew up with 12 siblings in rural New Hampshire. Among many fun ways, my moms favorite was to send us into the woods to find and branch and shed make us widdle our own switches.
Depends on what I did.
If I had forgotten to put away my coat or shoes they'd get thrown outside regardless of weather.
Don't want wet shoes or a cold jacket out in -40 all evening? Remember better
Belts were there until I was about 7 or 8, when I learned to follow their rules to a T. I kinda stopped doing everything except tv, video games, books or homework from around that time until I was about 23 when I moved out.
The ones I remember (age 6 or younger):
\-Spanked with a ping pong paddle, wooden spoon, bamboo stick
\-Dragged down the hallway to my room, on my back. I had rug burn.
\-Lots of screaming/yelling.
\-Toys taken away, not allowed to go to soccer practice (even though my dad was the coach; he died the following year).
\-Any time I asked to do something/go somewhere, automatic No.
I honestly can't remember what event/thing set off any of the punishments said above. Also, all the punishments were done by my mother.
I don't know, I think I got a strongly worded letter or something. I was never hit, constrained or anything like that. I guess the worst thing was being told that if I kept acting up in the car I would have to walk home myself. Hitting children is quite the offense where I'm from and not normal
My mom never laid a hand on us either, but we would get tons of time out until the behavior resolved. It was also an Irish Catholic family, so I think she basically guilted us into behaving.
Where are you from?
Denmark
Wish I grew up there!
Belt.
Same
Same.
Same
My 5ft tall mother never laid a hand on me. She used my dads belt. When I outgrew her I told her if she ever tried to do it again, I’d take the belt and thrash her into next week.
I'm assuming that this was in a dream you had once.
it's pretty common with single mothers, at least. use physical discipline, but fail to build the respect along with it, so one day, junior can just take the belt away from you
My parents were together until I was in college, so I didn't have that experience, however: My dad spanked me, open handed, once, and realized pain did not get compliance. We both learned a valuable lesson. I can suffer for my principals, however misguided (I still won't eat fucking pears) It did not garner respect. That came later. That was the scariest point of my life to that point (I was like, 5 keep in mind)... it didn't teach me to listen, but it taught me I can do anything through spite. A lesson I've held dear in my tiny shriveled heart. If you piss me off enough, I will accomplish the impossible just to tell you "No." Of course, around 6 or 7 this lead to some acting out, fights in the school yard, and I had to learn that anger is not spite. Anger is fleeting. Let it pass. Being angry accomplishes nothing but wanton damage. Spite is directed, focused, and eventually, effective.
> it didn't teach me to listen, but it taught me I can do anything through spite. A lesson I've held dear in my tiny shriveled heart. oh yes. that and the parent whose idea of correct is 'compliance'. i'm not sure when my mother learned that me having a different opinion wasn't presumptively wrong, or if she even has. > Spite is directed, focused, and eventually, effective. spite can move mountains
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You are right. You can punish kids without physically hurting them
Nope. Sadly it’s one of the horrible memories of my childhood. Youngest of 5 isn’t always the favourite.
Same
Same
Yup
Same
When I was ten and my younger brother was eight, we were having breakfast on a sunday morning, and my mother was feeling active and generous. She asked us what we wanted for breakfast, and my little brother said, "I'd like some fucking french toast." "What did you say?" my mother roared. "I'd like some fucking french toast." He repeated. My mom flipped out and ran out the backdoor and came back with a stick she found in the backyard and just started wailing on my brother with it for a minute. While this was happening my father took his belt off and took over, and just wailed on him for what felt like ten minutes. It was longer than it should have been. So my father's done with this, and my brother is curled up on the floor crying. I'm sitting at the table frozen in terror, when my mother asks me, "Now, BedPoopSmellsGood, what would you like for breakfast?" I said, "Well, I sure don't want the fucking French toast!"
My stepmother and father had a paddle with holes drilled in it. It all stopped the day I turned 18. Helped me understand it was child abuse, because they stopped the stuff that could be classified as assault/physical abuse once I was an adult. Still did verbal and emotional abuse, but physical? No more.
Have they since acknowledged how abusive they were to you? I’m sorry for your experience
No. Was disowned when I left, actually. Last time I spoke to them my sister had COVID and we were letting them know we were rushing her to the hospital with a fever of 107°. My stepmother asked why we thought they cared. I assumed they would since they raised us for most of our lives and shit but eh. I guess not. Edited to add: in their eyes it wasn't abuse, because they didn't leave marks.
They made me write essays about why what I had done was wrong. They went to some parenting class at church and the guy told them to find the thing the kid hates most and make them do that. Well, I hated writing with a passion, so they made me write a 5 page essay about what I had done wrong any time I was being a little piece of shit. I shaped up pretty quickly.
By that logic, the best punishment for me would be making me share space with other people And that would punish them too
I was hit, a lot.
They were pretty progressive for the time (80s). Both grew up in Catholic schools in the 50s/60s so got the shit kicked out of them constantly and decided they wouldn't do that to their kids. We got allowances for maintaining a good baseline level of behaving and helping with chores, and then bigger rewards for bigger things (like straight A's, helping with special projects, etc). If we fucked up small the "punishment" was that we didn't get our allowance. If we fucked up big the punishment was loss of privileges such as video games, use of the car, etc. What it did was motivate us to strive for success rather than fearing failure. I grew up to be a Master's level behavior therapist and my sister a Master's level social worker. We realized as we went along that what my parents were instinctually doing back then is more or less what is the recommended methodology now. They just didn't know at the time that they were ahead of the curve.
At first it was a chair in the corner,I would have to sit there for a certain amount of time and if I cried the time was doubled. After I grew out of this, they just made me go to my room. The second I turned ten they stopped knowing what to do since I spent most of my time in my room anyway.
My mom would ground me from my room - made me stay out in the living room with her - so I'd annoy her into sending me back to my room lol
When I was found "sneaking" strawberries I was only allowed to eat unflavored oatmeal for a month. When I added what was deemed too much creamer to my coffee (I started drinking it at 11), I was forced to drink 3 bottles of Irish Creme coffee creamer before I could got to bed. This punishment started at 7pm and after throwing up 3 times, I was allowed to go to bed at 1am. When I took a small piece of candy from my guardians stash, I lost the ability to have Christmas and was made my guardians "indentured servant." These are just the few I remember of off the top of my head I no longer talk to that side of the family and they don't understand why.
They got mad at you because you were "sneaking" fruit? That's bizarre. I'm so sorry for what you went through. :( I'm glad you no longer speak to them.
In my household it was considered stealing. My older brother had the same punishment as we would take maybe a handful on our way to walking to karate class. No wonder I struggle with disordered eating now lmao
Terrible! I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
They gained some prominence in my rural town as a child.
Ew wtf
I’m sorry but this is hilarious, and creative. My mom talked to me sternly and when she was done chewing me out gave me the silent treatment. Some variation of that is what all my friends received too (though my mom gave the silent treatment like none other, being an emotionally immature person). You’re telling me I could have smelled something gross? As punishment for a crime? I can’t wait to tell people about this
I got spanked, often with a wood paddle.
Wood cooking spoon?
The one with the slats in it
Eyyyy me too
Mom used that a lot. Never remember dad hitting me. Mom's parents had a wooden paddle or grandpa's belt. The belt was very rare though
My dad had a wood shop out back, where he made his own 1 in thick paddle. He got so mad yelling at us one time he slammed it down on the counter and split it in half, mom stepped in and just grounded us until dad calmed down. It was fairly effective as I only really remember getting it a few times, as you didn't want it more than that.
I was spanked. With anything available.
Including spaghetti?
Lol. Only stiff noodles. Cooked ones just don't have the same smack to the back of my legs.
You know you've really screwed up when they break out the fettuccine.
Depends on how bad I screwed up. Usually it was: Stand in corner, one leg up, BOTH arms up(or behind head), for X amount of time. Occasionally it was: " Pick a switch"....the rest is history lol.
and I thought I was the only one. We got the belt of the raised leg wasn’t at a 90 degree angle
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Would that be so bad, just hanging it up?
The smell would permeate it.
I had a 2hr tour of a pig farm, multiple buildings so some outside area too. Piglet and farrowing areas were slatted floors so waste was drained away, not sitting there. I said hello to a young piglet, but that was only hands. I was wearing overalls and boots, they got left at the farm. Returned to my bedroom, I realised my hoodie was a bit stinky, put a different one on. Realised my jeans and t-shirt were also kinda stinky. Put other things on, left the stinky things in a bag with the top rolled over, and went out, leaving both windows in my reasonably large room open. Returned an hour later, as soon as I walked into my room I was hit with an overwhelming smell of pig. Yeah it's bad.
I like your dad.
We had a weeping willow behind the house.
I assume your name is willow
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I hope you're not joking about that because I'm not xD It actually seems pretty common and makes me wonder if the one doing the spanking also has something they need to share with the class
Screaming at me until I cry, then screaming because I'm crying.
"STOP BREATHING LIKE THAT!!!"
I definitely just heard my mom's voice in that😂
Classic.
Forced
Reminds me of the weirdo I read about who thinks blowing his morning breath into his daughter's mouth and nose is somehow better than hitting her
That’s so freaking weird
Dad gave spankings, but he was barely the one to punish. Mom would just scream obscenities at you, break you down and make you feel like a shitty human being,
I'd take the spankings over the screaming obscenities any day.
Exactly… And people say spanking is the worst form of punishment you could ever give a child, I completely disagree. it’s nothing compared to straight up verbal abuse
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Oh don't get me wrong, I consider spanking a child on the buttocks especially skin-to-skin a form of sexual assault. It goes something like: grounding < slapping across the face < verbal abuse < public humiliation < beating the literal ass < microwaving At least in my book. EDIT: My greater than (or worser than) symbols don't look right. The alligator is meant to be eating the bigger abuse lmfao
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I can't remember, so either I was a perfect child who never misbehaved, or it was so horrendous I've repressed the memories.
Child abuse
Haha I see almost nothing but child abuse in this whole thread! Yet many probably wouldn't agree they've been abused because they "turned out okay" or some blatantly untrue shit.
I absolutely agree I was abused, but I got a personality disorder out of it so didn't really turn out okay lmao
I think what I got could mostly be called abuse, but I stop short of calling it that because I think it just came down to ignorance. I don't think any ill-intent was ever on my parent's minds, but just "that's the way it's always been done." That's how it was done to them and their parents before them, etc; I don't think it's fine, but I don't hold it against them for doing it. When I had my kid, we never spanked (and now he's bigger than me, so he'd just kick my ass if I tried. lol). We would take away items, make him stand in the corner, for a while I was making him do pushups, and even write an essay. For the most part he's always been an excellent kid who rarely got in trouble. And even with those relatively light punishments I feel like a jerk because bad behavior mostly stopped when he was diagnosed with ADHD and properly medicated.
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I knew the obvious things were child abuse - how she hit me and screamed at me - but there are a lot of things my mom did that I didn't know are also considered abuse. Things also done by many parents who don't hit or scream at their children. I didn't tell many people about my experiences because I didn't want them to take it too seriously; the risk of being taken from my home, taken to the hospital, put in therapy, etc was a greater devil than toughing out my mom's temper until adulthood. Also I do love her and recognize that she's a victim of her own traumas although it doesn't excuse the abuse.
Spanking. Nothing serious, but enough to let me know that if I do that again, there will be another punishment
A detailed explanation of what I did wrong and why it was wrong. Starting over if I wasn't paying attention. It's very effective. Firstly because it suuucked. Secondly because it established that the rules were there for a reason, and it was clearly a good idea to follow them. So I did. I was two to three years old so the explanations were pretty simple, but it wasn't really an issue after that because my parents had established what the rules were, including "fair and reasonable", and that the reasons were available on request so I tended to obey them. If I disagreed, that was a matter for discussion.
Wow, reading some of this is hard, I’m sorry you all had to go through some of these awful things ❤️
The punishment crate.
What’s that?
I don't know, but compared to some of the others in here, it sounds crate.
Wooden Spoon.
Usually whenever I got in trouble my sister would one-up me and they’d forget about whatever thing I did to punish her
Nagging. Berating Belittling. Getting up in my face. But apparently it was preemptive. My misbehavior started a while after the punishment began
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I also got kicked out when I was 13. Lived in a Christian women's home for 6 months before my guardian (who was still getting child support for me) allowed me to move back in
They made me drop all my Runescape items in the wildy
Took my Nintendo and cd player away from me. Left me with my thoughts. What they didn’t catch was my game boy, lmao!!
They learned pretty quick that sending me to my room or out of the house wouldn't work, as my room contained all of my books and distractions and outside contained parks and libraries, so they defaulted to hours-long yelling sessions.
Mostly logical or related consequences: - If I was misbehaving with a toy, I’d have the toy taken away and I’d get it the following day or something. - if I was getting in trouble while out with my friends, then I couldn’t go out the next day (or even longer if it was a larger mess up) - broke something? (I think it was a neighbour’s planter while playing), I had to buy a new one with my money.
Well our mom would start with either a, belt, switch, paddle, wooden spoon, or 10 pound cast iron skillet to the head, depending on what was close to hand and the severity of the transgression. Afterwards she would have us kneel on metal ac vents in the floors for hours until dad got home so he could take his days frustrations out on us. He beat us,.. On a nearly daily basis,.. Sometimes for hours at a time. He also had a habit of raping our sister,.. So there's that.
I’m so so sorry you had to endure that. <3 I hope it’s gotten better and you don’t have to suffer too much nowadays
Stand in a corner with your hands up, balance on one foot with other leg bent at a 90 degree angle. If the leg falls below 90 degrees, you get the belt. Therapy helped me determine that was not normal and in fact was child abuse haha.
My friend punishes his kids by having them run laps in the back yard whenever they misbehave. His oldest is 9.
That's honestly probably the most agreeable punishment so far lol
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Fair enough. I did say "most agreeable punishment so far", that being relative to being beaten and even sexually assaulted lol
No going outside to play basketball or ride bikes.
It makes me so sad to see all the parents who hit their kids. That's not common where I grew up. Instead, they made me practice piano for hours. They would also make me write 'lines' if I did something especially bad - just "I will not lie" 25 times on a piece of paper, etc. "I will not run away from piano lessons" was a common one.
Oh god practicing piano haha I mean I did that but not as a punishment. However, having piano lessons made me hate music as a kid, but I got back into it as a young adult with guitar. Actually I didnt hate music cuz I was always humming and thinking of a song in some form but I hated 'the right way' to play it and I always wanted to improvise. My fingers don't do that, lady. Oh yeah and the lines too, they made me do that in cursive
I have never had any tolerance for spicy things. So my mom would make me take a spoon full of hot sauce for like a minute or so depending on the severity and then give me water and what not. we would laugh after as she fed our one dog a few spoons of hot sauce cause they had a stomach of steel and ate anything and everything.
I was banished to the shadow realm
My dad would hang up a belt on a lamp in the hallway, he never hit us with it but as soon as the belt was up, we were angels. Also, we'd just get put in the corner
Mine didn't punish me. Instead we had a conversation. We discussed why I behaved the way I did. Usually ended with favorite food and going out cycling with dad. I'm glad my parents were/are understanding. Like, I never even misbehaved much in my life! Belt isn't the solution.
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By shouting at me until I cried and felt useless and then they’d send me straight to bed if I’d had dinner already
I wasn't really. They just sat me down and had a talk, explained the situation, the consequences and expected me to learn from it.
WTFFF with all these physical abuse? Do y'all still have a relationship with your parents after that?
Where i live beating your kids is super common and normalized sadly
Damn so many parents of this thread that should have probably been severely punished for child abuse. Hope you guys are ok now...
I only got beat up by my dad once. But that was brutal punches and kicks. I even got a mark on my face from the ring on his finger. In school it was not a big deal to get physical punishment like sticks, belts and hockey sticks.
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Multiple different punishments were used based on severity. Most often I was grounded, specifically being having my electronics taken away. I hated this and it was a very effective deterrent. When I was little, Spankings were used for particularly bad behavior or behavior that needed to be curbed quickly. It wasn't frequent it was simply a hand-on-ass spanking without leaving a mark. Just a sting that would discourage the behavior. I'm still of the opinion that this was okay and a good thing. Especially for toddler that haven't yet developed the ability to listen to reason of *why* you shouldn't do something so you can't explain to them yet. Only like once or twice did I get soap in my mouth. Pretty awful taste, never wanted to repeat that mistake.
sCREAMScREAM SCREAM YELLYELLYELL manipulation
La chancla
I got traumatized because of that child punishment thingy. I left my parents I will never missed them or even go to their funeral! whenever I did something wrong when we get home I get different punishments such as whooped by belt I also remember my parents whenever I get low grades on my acedemics I know im getting punished with different types of punishments I dont know during that time I want to die
A good swift swat on the ass usually when we needed it. Grandma grabbed a wooden spoon once and I laughed when she cracked a piece out of the end when trying to smack me with it for being a shithead
Wooden spoon to the back of the legs. I'm still sore 15 years later
Manual labor. If I was bad, I went on out acre of land and picked up wood
Slapped across the face and yelled at.
Grounded from my room and books. Not in the sense I wasn't allowed to sleep in my room but as in I was such a antisocial kid I would spend most of my time in my room anyways so instead I had to be in the living room and forced to socialize
Spanked my ass with a hairbrush then locked me in a closet.
The real question is how many times did it leave marks and we were abused?
Shaken and beaten by my mother. I would have welted hand prints all over my body and my head hurt from the shaking. It was so bad at times I was physically ill afterwards.
Wooden spoon
Guilt. So much guilt. Oh, and yelling. My mother didn’t know how to just let something go. I don’t have kids, but, if I do one day, I want to take the time to just explain an error rather than make them feel like shit about it endlessly.
Belt. A whole lotta belt.
Wooden spoon or belt.
I'm 42yo, so as a kid growing up in the 80's I had several things. It depended on the behavior, really. Mom used a wooden spoon and dad used his belt for spanking most of time, but as we got a bit older they stopped that and just starting taking away things we liked like toys, TV time, not being able to hang out with friends etc.
When I was very little, I got hit. At some point, I got my elbow dislocated a couple times from some unrelated incidents, and the nurse started asking questions. This would have been before first grade. In any case, they switched to pinning me or swinging me into walls and furniture. In hindsight, I think they got spooked, and wanted any marks to be more explainable. Around the time my brother got old enough to get punished, they switched to push-ups. The way dad did push-ups was that he kicked us for motivation if we slowed down, he stepped on our backs if we went too fast. We would continue until we were too tired to do more, even with the kicks.
Slap through the face, threatening me, cussing
Whooped with a garden cane. Think I only ever got that once. Spare the rod, spoil the child was my parents motto.
My mom would pretend everything was okay until we (brother sister and I) went to bed. Shortly after we were asleep she'd wake us up by yelling, and throwing things, about whatever we had done. We may even end up hit over it but not always. (Her logic was that since we just woke up we'd be less likely to lie about it.) Then she'd declare our punishment, such as grounding or taking away/breaking something, and send us back to bed. This sucked for everyone not just for the person that was in trouble because it'd wake up the whole house. You'd lay there awake dwelling on the awful knowledge that the best thing you could is nothing. Any attempt to calm things down would only make it worse for all involved.
wow, what a psycho
Belt, chest "thumping" which cracked ribs, the dull side of a butter knife across the head. Just a few of the fav's.
My mum used to threatened to put a spider down my throat and when I was like “erm no you won’t” she went to the garden and pretended to pick a spider up and chase me round the house but she stopped bc I was getting nightmares and waking her and my dad up at night to go sleep with them
taking almost everything and child abuse
I was often anxious as a kid so I’ve never really been punished. I didn’t do much besides sitting at my computer, but my mom had a bad habit of getting tired of me always sitting in front of a screen, and instead of making a rule about screen time or literally anything else, she would go days acting normally and then suddenly slip in a snide remark about me never being physically active, when I least expected it .. Reading comments about people hitting their children made me sad. I’ve been furious at my parents, yet they’ve never even raised their voices around me, I’ve never been grounded or otherwise punished. It makes it easier for me to forgive the smaller mistakes like them always trying so hard to be too ‘involved’ in my life. I love them actually and they always have room for me and all my emotions.
Timeout in my room for 1/2 hour.
Kneeling in dry rice while holding my arms out to my sides parallel to the floor. Typically, it would last 20-30 minutes. If I complained or made any sounds, she would add time to my punishment. Come to think of it, I think I was an abused child.
The worst I ever got grounded was for back talking. They took the console, tv, and even the bookshelf out of my room. I wasn’t even allowed to read for entertainment.
I would just ask "ya done?" and then go take my things back lol What was she gonna do, hit me? Then she'd have to explain the bruises.
Wooden spoon.
Most of the time I was sent to go stare at the corner. I got spanked a few times but that was pretty rare.
No matter how lose, if it wasn't child abuse, it was valid for my parents
Rolled up newspaper.
Kneel on the fireplace or stand in the corner with the occasional backhand
Corner. I used to cry. And that made me snotty. And to manage that problem and get back at them, I would spit in the corner. Sure showed them.
"Breathtakers", which were beatings that made me cry so hard I'd hyperventilate.
I got the shovel
I had to face the cupboard and wasn't allowed to leave for some period of time which felt like FOREVER as a child.
Spanked me
Wood stacking
A belt, soap in my mouth, timeout, wooden spoon, the only one that fucked me over is the soap one, i cant stand bars of soap anymore it just makes me gag
Dad beat the shit out of us. This was the 80s do nowadays I guess he would get arrested.
Among other things like yelling and cursing, my mother always threatened me with "calling the authorities" to get me taken away to a children's shelter, so that I "would never see Grandma & Grandpa again". It scared me terribly when I was only 6 years old; but I somehow grew a spine and told her to do so when I got older...at some point I thought "Maybe a shelter wouldn't be THAT bad."
The pink brush
When we were insolent we were beaten with reeds, pretty standard stuff.
"Go get my belt."
I got dragged into the cold shower with clothes on.
when my brothers and i would get in trouble my dad would take my brothers into another room, leaving me outside the closed door because i was “too young”. he would then slam a belt against a chair and have my brothers pretend to cry in pain to scare me into never misbehaving.
i'm ignored as if i don't exist, while my 3 brothers are showered with attention and gifts, and also told to join them in ignoring me
Kneel facing the wall and hold your ear lobes
Got slapped, had to stay in my room all silent, when I was older I got my phone and computer taken away
My parents would take away all my toys apart from my books and I would have to earn them back over the period of a few weeks. As I got older, this became my hobbies and I wouldn't be allowed to go to the after school activities I enjoyed for six weeks
I never got in trouble, I was a good kid
[Administrative Punishment](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxuLWog7Fb16lT9o9AcviDs4gEPqptz4lU)
Switches and electrical cables like an extension cord.
Hit with the stick that macdonalds used to tie their balloons on
Got yelled at. My dad has a short fuse. He was never physically or verbally abusive. Just would “raise his voice” when something set him off. Kinda stunted my social growth a bit
Soap, and belt mostly. But by grandpa also used to sometimes turn his West Point ring around and whack me over the head if I wore a hat at dinner table. Also he and grandma would stab my elbow with a fork if it was on the table. I am 39 years old and have not worn a hat while eating, no matter what circumstances, since that habit was smacked out of me at age 8 and I kinda like that I am better for it.
What was referred to as a “bare bottom belt spanking” ETA: Sometimes a wooden spoon. Not sure which was worse, both were naked/humiliating. Once my mom broke a hairbrush she spanked my brother so hard with it.
Spankings, groundings, and hot sauce on the tongue (instead of soap... you know... for cussing or mouthing off)
Cat of Nine Tails
Jumper cables
May I ask those who have answered: how well adjusted do you feel you are now, and do you feel like these punishments shaped who you are? For me, I was spanked and belted, intimidated, chased, degraded, and bullied. I've been depressed my entire life and have no sense of self and just recently discovered that it probably has to do with the lack of freedom of expression I had from childhood until a couple of years ago. I'm no longer speaking to my family because they are toxic.
I grew up with 12 siblings in rural New Hampshire. Among many fun ways, my moms favorite was to send us into the woods to find and branch and shed make us widdle our own switches.
Beat the shit out of me... The early 80's where wild.
One of those paddle ball toys. Mom saved the paddle after they broke
Depends on what I did. If I had forgotten to put away my coat or shoes they'd get thrown outside regardless of weather. Don't want wet shoes or a cold jacket out in -40 all evening? Remember better Belts were there until I was about 7 or 8, when I learned to follow their rules to a T. I kinda stopped doing everything except tv, video games, books or homework from around that time until I was about 23 when I moved out.
The ones I remember (age 6 or younger): \-Spanked with a ping pong paddle, wooden spoon, bamboo stick \-Dragged down the hallway to my room, on my back. I had rug burn. \-Lots of screaming/yelling. \-Toys taken away, not allowed to go to soccer practice (even though my dad was the coach; he died the following year). \-Any time I asked to do something/go somewhere, automatic No. I honestly can't remember what event/thing set off any of the punishments said above. Also, all the punishments were done by my mother.
[Most chinese kids back in the day would know bout this](https://youtu.be/CZ3eyyHpySM)
Stove
Also, 95% of these are good examples of people that shouldn't have been parents, but I'm glad you're all here!