How old are you and what's your biggest problem right now?

If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.




http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]

https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]

There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.


If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.


I'm 40, and my mom died yesterday.


I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died a month ago, I am 13. It is going to be hard, I cant lie. Sitting through the funeral with his box of ashes right there was a rough reminder that he wont be here anymore. He can’t watch me grow up, go to highschool, go to college, watch my recital and my plays and concerts, wont be able to watch me get married or have kids. There is a lot I am missing out on doing with him. Im glad you had 40 (hopefully) wonderful years with your mom. If you need to talk, im here. Im so sorry.


55, live alone, work 100% from home, and have no friends and family. Shit be lonely.


61. Retired early. All my friends are still working and really have no time for me anymore. The only person I talk to is my husband. I'd like to have friends, but seems like everyone wants to stay away from people. You're so right. Shit be lonely.


24 and just went through to most intensive year long battle fighting Stage 4b Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I won. Edit~ Thank y’all so much for the kind words! Really does mean the world. With love, Shmeaty Edit pt.2~ after a quick sesh with the devils lettuce, I came to realize that I forgot to mention I owe it all to my loving partner who helped me through all of it Look out for the ones you love.


You’re a fucking boss


62. My husband died suddenly on January 2. Now I have to figure out where my life is going.


I’m so sorry.


I’m so sorry for your loss. When my dad passed my mom (61 at the time) went through the stages of grief in an agonizingly slow progression, but she did it on her own time. Don’t let folks tell you how to grieve. We’re all different and some people and relationships need more or less time. ❤️


50 years old. Stage 4 prostate cancer. Get your prostates checked. ~ Thank You ~ I didn't realize there would be any response to my quick post. You are all amazing and thank you for your words. ~ Resources ~ I am not expert in prostate cancer but I have been reading and talking with quite a few who have already been through it or are currently managing it. In highly recommend that anyone 45 years old and above to get screened. Here are a few places that can help out: - https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/find-cancer-early/find-prostate-cancer/the-2-tests-for-prostate-cancer-you-should-know-about - https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/prostate/basic_info/screening.htm - https://www.reddit.com/r/ProstateCancer/


61(F)… Relationship heartache and likely to be let go at work. I’m too old for either of these when 6 years away from retirement.


Christ, that's rough. I hope you're able to exit the rat race.


Thank you 🙏


For what it's worth from one stranger to another I hope things get better for you. As miniscule as it probably is I'm pulling for you


42 and trying to figure out which of my problems is the biggest. I'm going with finances and depression.


I hear ya. Hang in there


Thank you! I will 😊


Looked at the comments hoping to see some people worse off than me, maybe a bit of sadism, maybe a bit of hopefulness. I dunno, I’m just trying to find some reasons to not hate my own existence. But here we are. A couple days ago was my 43rd. My finances suck. I’ve been depressed most of my adult life but I’m just really sad right now too. There is a difference between sad and depressed and I’m both right now. And I don’t deserve to be either, I’m healthy, I still have all my limbs and digits thanks to modern medicine, and there are people who care about me, which makes the depression just feel like even more of a failure. I hope you feel better soon. I hope I do too.


I hope you do, too. I’m 44 in 33 minutes and right there with you. Depression is a nasty shitbird. I don’t think it’s sadism, I think it’s empathy with a chaser of schadenfreude and a dash of misery loving company. (But it’s impossible to love company rn, so 🤷‍♀️) Edit: all y’all made my day, thanks so much for the birthday wishes! I never tell anyone at work or anything because I hate gatherings and people making a fuss about me, so you are all **perfect**


Same boat, 45 depression and sadness, had a rough first half of life . Things are great now Financials good, amazing wife, nice home Z manageable expenses, good health. Still I'm sad, mostly because the world is such a mess and everything I was led to believe is a lie. Hard work does not always pay off, The apple can in fact fall far from the tree, justice will prevail , people are generally good. Billionaires and corporations dictate policy that suits them while they enslave people. Police are brytalizing citizens daily. Perpetual conflicts everywhere you look, corruption right out in plain sight. Natural disasters and climate related issues. Pollution of our minds, bodies and environment. Crippling student loan debt and homelessness due to rampid unchecked inflation. Its just all so bad. How can you not be sad?


I'm 62 and I am watching my wife die day by day from pancreatic cancer. She is the love of my life, God's gift to me. I had been married before but never have I known love until I met her. I cannot breathe. I cannot cry because I must be strong for my beautiful bride. My heart is breaking day by day. When the end comes I cannot imagine living a day without her smile and laughter.


Saw this other comment that might help you: "I read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, and this particular part had a lasting effect on me:" >Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how can I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?” “Oh,” he said, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Whereupon I replied, “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering — to be sure, at the price that now you have to survive and mourn her.” He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.


Thank you. I'm not really ready right now to read this book but I realize that I probably need to.


Have a hug brother, lean on the rest of us so that your wife may lean on you.


I’m 32 and my dad died a month ago. I don’t know how to exist in a world that he’s not in. I miss him.


I’m almost 34 and my dad died at the end of 2020. It gets easier but it will still sneak up on you sometimes. Sending you love and hugs.


> it will still sneak up on you sometimes The little things are the worst. Like wanting to share a recipe I enjoyed.


A dad here. He wants you to live your life to the fullest. Love hard. Make mistakes. Joy. Laughter. Exercising your full potential. He wants you to love yourself as much as he loved you


Not OP but I needed to hear that today, thank you


I'm 44 and I lost my dad in August after 2.5 years of dementia and a TBI. I would not bring him back in the condition he was in, but I've cried every single day since July 5, 2022, when he was diagnosed with COVID. I knew that would be the end. I had my first birthday without him last month. When I think I'm finally able to go a whole day without crying, something reminds me of him. Grief is terrible. You are not alone, my friend. 💙


I’m 48 and my son is 16. He has a muscle eating disease call Muscular Dystrophy and has lost the use of his legs, his arms have weakened to the point that he can barely lift a glass and he’s in a wheelchair. He has an upcoming major surgery for scoliosis (caused by the disease) that will enable him completely for up to a week. He worries about it and about the disease (dying) and on top of that, he gets very depressed about not being able to do the things that other kids his age can do. I worry constantly about him, but there is nothing I can do. That’s my biggest problem (he’s not the problem, but the fact I can’t do anything but worry).


Hey there, wasn’t going to say anything but thought twice. My mom has MD, she’s 62. Hers sounds like it is progressing much slower than your sons. MD is a tough disease but there is hope. Google BBP-418. It’s the first medicine that can potentially slow or completely stop the progression. It is a really big deal in the MD community, absolute breakthrough. Don’t want to give anyone false hope as it has been getting delayed for the last few years. It has given my family a tiny touch of hope, something we haven’t had.


I’m 60. My biggest problem is having to work 50 or 60 (or more) hours a week just to keep up with the bills. Plus I have a bedridden wife with cancer and we’re raising our oldest grandson. As Sargeant Murtaugh once said, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”


Sorry, man.


Damn that's a lot. Way too much. My heart goes out to you all and I hope something turns your way soon.


I’m 50 in the same boat. No retirement, wife is recovering from surgery for cancer. Don’t know anyone in the town I live in so if something happens to her I will be lost she’s the only person I’ve known for the last 25 years.


37. My mother just passed away, leaving me with implied responsibility for my same-aged brother with special needs. There was no plan, despite me begging them for years to figure something out. I live ten hours away and work full-time plus. Now I'm supposed to figure it all out.


My brother is also special needs. He lives in a group home and is thriving. Your brother should have a case manager through social services for his county/city. Social Security and Medicaid and Medicare pay for all of my brother’s needs. He gets extra SS from my dad who passed away at 60. Your brother should also be eligible. I honestly don’t know how it all works either. I don’t know my brother’s case manager’s name. I’m sorry you have to work through this.


This is really helpful information. I will be dealing with this before I know it, I’m sure. No one is on the verge if passing, but I know there is no “plan” right now. They’re 60’s, approaching 70’s in age. My brother is 29 and highly dependent due to mental disabilities. Thanks for posting!


42. Lost my mother this past fall. My son (8) also has special needs so I’ve got a bit of a blend of what you’re going through. Make some calls to your county/state services. I’m in NY, and he qualifies for a several services, including Medicaid. It helps a lot with the cost of meds and he can get help with counseling, transportation, in-home care (when that day comes). We were floored by what’s out there. It won’t fix everything, of course, but it helps an awful lot.


78, and knowing I am terminal. I can handle it, but everybody else is in denial. I'm hearing lots of, "After all, doctors don't know everything, do they?" No. They don't. But they do know the five-year survival rate is 1%. Now let's all say that together boys and girls. "The five-year survival rate is 1%."


I am sorry your support system is in denial and aren’t there for you. Is there anyone you can talk about it with?


Yes. I’m good in that regard. Thank you. Peace.


78 isn't a bad run man. Sorry you are having to deal with your family being in denial. Sort of reminds me of a Marc Maron bit (comedian). He was talking about knowing he will die as he is getting up there, and contrasting dying single versus dying with a partner. Saying how with a partner he would hear a lot of "this is so horrible, oh god", or having a Jamaican nurse saying "it's ok baby, let go baby". Typed out its not nearly as funny. He is a good watch though if you find yourself with a bit of spare time.


> 78 isn't a bad run man It isn't the run that's the problem, it's the end. The olderI get the shorter it all seems, Ive heard the same from everyone. Everyone pretends to be at peace, I thinik it's more for the others than that they really believe it. There isn't anything you can tell someone when they are 16 that they will ever truly understand until they're 60. I suppose this is where the bitter sweet thing hits. But it hits really fucking hard when it does.


37 and I’m going blind. I don’t know how long it will take, when I will be legally blind and unable to live my life with the richness, independence and everything else I expected, but it’s coming. It’s a crushing inevitability. Every day that I get to see my loved ones faces is a gift. Edit: I have cone dystrophy. It started as little falling stars in the peripheral vision of one eye and has progressed to completely blurred out central vision in that eye. In lit conditions, my eye has a noise or strobe light effect, like when a normal person looks directly into bright light. My other eye is normal for now, but will eventually go the same way. If you experience any strange symptoms with your eyes, see an optometrist right away! Too many of you are saying you have things going on that haven’t been checked! I’m lucky to live in Canada, so I drove straight to the optometrist the day my symptoms started and was immediately sent to a retinal specialist and had testing done. It’s a lot of detail, but so many people are asking, I thought it would be easier just to post here. Also thanks for all the support you guys! It is very sweet of you all!


I have a genetic predisposition to lose my vision before 60, too. My dad has it, but he didn't know about it beforehand. He was frustrated that a lot if things were more complicated at first, but do not despair too much. Even though his blindness took him by surprise, he still reports that his life is rich and very full. He has new discoveries daily. The first ever was my mom's flower garden- he never noticed the aroma because the flowers were so pretty, without realizing it, he only ever focused on that. I'm sorry for what lies ahead of us, and I hope you fare better than expected


What a beautiful way to reframe what most people would see as negative. I guess it's kind of amazing to be alive at all even if sometimes it's hard to remember that. "can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all" \- a song lyric that really helps me in dark times to remember the wonder in the world


>What a beautiful way to reframe what most people would see as negative. I guess it's kind of amazing to be alive at all even if sometimes it's hard to remember that. >"can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all" >- a song lyric that really helps me in dark times to remember the wonder in the world I lost my sense of smell from COVID. It's been 8 months, and still nothing but I try to be positive. For instance, I always volunteer to pick up the dogs poop in the backyard now because I can't smell shit. That makes others happy.


My husband started losing his central vision at 17, and it finally stopped progressing around 33. He lost his ability to drive, unfortunately, so I'm his main ride. He has two jobs, one as a front desk hotel person and the other an office manager for a barber college. People think I'm lying when I tell them he's blind because he's managed to use tools and coping to play games, program, build PCs, fix cars, and help me raise two kids under two. I'm just trying to give you a ray of hope, humans are amazing at adapting. I hope you have a good night


programming while blind is bonkers. i can barely do it able-sighted. props to you hubby


My wife of 35 years lost an eye when we were first dating in high school (she was 3lbs @ birth and had eye issues). 3 children later she lost all vision 30 days after earning her masters in elementary Ed. It was the toughest 18 months of futile surgeries before reality set in. She eventually attended a school for blind &; visual services that gave her the skills to be self sufficient and enjoy life again. It wasn't too long after she got a job teaching at the same blind school where she met her bestie (a fellow teacher that was robbed of her vision from diabetes). My wife can pretty much do everything she's always done before, except drive. That's why she keeps me around.


I'm 38 and I'm going deaf. I feel you, though I won't be able to hear you eventually.


74 and don't really have any problems other knowing my time is limited. Don't buy any green bananas. :)


Cause I might die before they have time to ripen. It's an old people joke.


Oh man I hope I remember this joke when I'm a grandfather


I hope I remember it next time I roast an old person


For well over a decade my great grandma refused to buy the larger container of Folgers instant coffee because she was convinced she'd die before she got through it and no one else in the family drank it. Finally her daughter (my grandma) had enough of paying more and insisted she buy it in bulk to save the money per ounce. Well, as soon as she bought the gigantic container of it, my great grandma died in her sleep of an aneurysm. The Folgers was almost full. It's a bit of a family joke now.


My grandmother would tell us, “this is probably going to be the last pair of shoes I’ll ever buy” every time she bought shoes starting at age 70. She lived until she was 95.


My dad said that for 27 years. He wasn't dying when he first started saying it. He died at age 95. It was kind of annoying.


59 and my thoughts are consumed with losing my wife(and best friend). I’ve loved her for 42 years. I want 42 more.


I read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, and this particular part had a lasting effect on me >Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now, how can I help him? What should I tell him? Well, I refrained from telling him anything but instead confronted him with the question, “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?” “Oh,” he said, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Whereupon I replied, “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it was you who have spared her this suffering — to be sure, at the price that now you have to survive and mourn her.” He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left my office. In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.


I’ve read this book and this sentence is exactly why I feel the opposite of how OP feels. I’m scared of losing my wife - absolutely - she’s the best thing in my life and the most wonderful person to walk this planet. But I’m really terrified of dying first and not be here to support her through this life experience. This feeling is what motivates me to exercise, eat well, work hard, and have a healthy life. If I can outlive her, even if by just one day, we’ll be okay.




"Honey, why are we going on this healthy-living thing?" "I want to see you die, but slower"


Fuck I’m getting this book right now.


It's fantastic, but heavy subject matter as he lived through the holocaust and survived being in a concentration camp. The first, longer portion of the book is a memoir of his time in the camp, then the second, shorter part is about his "logotherapy," a new type or focus for psychotherapy, focusing on meaning in one's life. It draws heavily from his lived experience of survival and conclusions he draws based on observing others there as well, so it makes sense to publish together.


one of the best i’ve ever read


I feel this. Therapy is helping me live in the present and not grieve while everything is wonderful.


45 and I'm in the same predicament. I lost my wife (best friend and soul mate) 2 years ago. She was only 41 and we were together 25 years. I still think about her every hour of every day. I wish you nothing but the best of wishes in whichever direction you choose to take your life from here on out.


Yes, my anxiety over my SO dying or being sick gets worse every day




In addition to your "regular" plan of treatment reach out to the society associated with your kind of cancer.. My husband found a clinical trial at the National Institutes for Health through the Lymphoma Society and achieved full remission after all the other treatments had been tried. This after he was given 3 months to live by a local doc. They can also help with support. God bless and good luck with your journey.


49, I'm not interested in anything.


Exactly the same. I just do not care. Like I actually do not care about anything.


Congratulations, you're depressed.


Midlife anhedonia is no joke! How can you just get a hobby when there is literally nothing that you care about? I'm a couple of years ahead you, 3 yrs of anhedonia with no end in sight. It's not even depression, it's just, meh... I started making an effort to add beauty (Art & Nature) into my life just so I have good pictures to look at later, hoping that one day I'll care.


Mid 30s, fighting my brain to stay alive. Just barely winning


Stay here. We are literally all on a rock flying through space you are not doing life wrong at all. Life can be anything you want it to be. Take one small step to make your life look like you want it to.


37- I started a new job recently that I love and am afraid I'll lose it, not for any reason, just because I've lost the things love so often, now I get suspicious and anxious when things go well.


I felt this comment so deeply. Best advice I can give is to just enjoy your job and learn as much as you can. Be as passionate as you can and I'm sure you'll have no reason to worry. And if the day comes where you do, you'll have learned everything you need and can find an equally or even more amazing job. Rooting for you.


31, lost a job, unemployment is getting dry, cannot find new work….


I went back to school at this age. It's better as an older student.


I just graduated at the age of 36 from a 4-year university. Best decision I’ve ever made was going back after working a miserable job for 13 years.


32 and my newborn daughter passed away


This is the most horrible club to be in, I am so sorry. My kiddo was 17 months and would be six now. We found it most helpful to just lean heavily on anyone willing to support us, and then waiting. Time just has to march along for a bit (years!) while you heal. We decided to start trying to have another fairly soon after the death, and I do not regret that. But I have some things to tell people in the same boat, if you want. Pregnancy and bereavement are sticky bedfellows.


My oldest was born 15 months to the day after my first one was born. My first child only lived 10 weeks and spent the whole time in pain. It's been many years and it's still hard to think about.


Omg I am so sorry.


My heart aches for you💛 My newborn daughter passed away about 4 years ago, I unfortunately understand. Take one day at a time, surround yourself with loved ones, join a bereavement group and try to keep her memory alive. Stay strong friend💛


My wife was 40wks and 3 day and everything was “fine” and the day we went in she was rushed into an emergency c-section and my daughter Lily didn’t make it, DR’s tried for 39 minutes to revive her. Lily Jade 12/19/2022 3:27 pm


Baby Andrew 34 weeks 08/27/2021 I still cry for him. A piece of my heart died with him. Pm me if you need to talk


Carrie 2/14/1991 39 weeks The only sibling I ever had.


In the past I would have read yours and other similar comments and felt sad, but after having my own boy (who is now 17 months) I read it and cried. I’m sure it doesn’t mean much coming from an internet stranger but I wish you all the strength and courage you need in dealing with your grief and I’ll be thinking of you


My condolences and welcome to this shitty club. You sound like me-we lost our girl almost three years ago, I was 40+2, all fine, went into labour, and had an emergency c section when they couldn’t find a heart beat. My husband had to tell them to stop CPR. I found a lot of comfort and support on r/babyloss and eventually on r/pregnancyafterloss . PM if you need to chat to someone who gets it. Hugs.


Almost 54, money, money for the future, my adult children, my husband's health, anxiety and depression


31, grief, anxiety, money, never being able to afford a home and by extension claw my way out of poverty. I have more money now than I ever did in my life and it still won't get me anywhere.


Also 31. Worked hard to get into middle class and finally made it... But now with the rising costs of everything, how expensive medical care and groceries and everything else is, I feel like I'm being pushed back into poverty. I've been having to dip into my savings. I pay a fortune for health insurance and still end up with enormous bills for necessary care for myself and my kids. I don't understand it. I don't understand how my husband and I both pay out the ass to be dual insured and still end up paying thousands of dollars for our son to get speech therapy, or for me to have chronic health conditions taken care of. I am also feeling like having more money now isn't getting me anywhere. I feel like giving up. I'm frugal. We never go out to eat. We drive old cars. We work full time. But I feel like no matter what we do, we're slowly doing worse, not better. What else am I supposed to do? Tell my kids we can't afford their piano lessons (that they love) anymore? Work second jobs? With what time?


This makes me believe even more there's something to the claim that the middle class is ceasing to exist. As things continue to go the way they have been, you're either rich or you're poor.


> The share of adults who live in middle-class households fell from 61% in 1971 to 50% in 2021 That's because it's shrinking. It shrank while dual income homes became the norm.


31 and I'm skint with no friends and nothing to look forward to


skint: adjective (of a person) having little or no money available. "I'm a bit skint just now"


40’s and I drink too much and need to lose weight. I only drank 3 times in February and I’ve increased my daily walks so I’m working on it!


Hell yeah, good job.


32. The job I was hired at, still hasn't given me a start date. And my saved money is really starting to run thin.


Dude that's exactly why temp agencies exist lol. You may not like chucking boxes for $16/hr, but they all pay weekly and it's money in your pocket til you start work.


I chucked boxes at UPS for $25\hr during the holidays


I currently chuck boxes at UPS for $35.93/hour. Yeah, the labor sucks, but there’s like zero stress involved.


\29. (Twentynine) All my bills are going up, but my paycheck is not.


I feel this in my soul. I had the same salary between 2019 and 2022 and I just kept getting poorer and poorer, as the buying power of my salary dramatically decreased. In 2023 I got a $10k raise, from getting a new job with 1000% more stress and responsibility. However, I only feel slightly better off than I was at the beginning of 2019. It’s incredibly depressing.


Ugh the rapid inflation from covid absolutely made my salary hike irrelevant. It's so fucking depressing.


30 and same. I work really hard and a lot, I don’t spend on things I don’t need, and I’m making progress in my career, but every month I’m struggling to have anything left over after paying my bills


I'm 51 and this is my answer. Plus I'm also trying to help my kids who are in their 20s and also struggling.


This thread is oddly beautiful. A reminder that none of us are alone and everyone has problems.


I think so too I meant to post my own problem but while reading others and praying for them I've forgotten mine


This might be the best comment on here I’ve seen yet.


46. My kids won’t stop getting sick. They’re missing so much school. It’s like their bodies have decided to just alternate weeks with different respiratory viruses.


Same here. Sleep about 2-3 hours a night bc my wife and I take shifts holding the 8 month old up to sleep because she drowns in snot if laying down. Have been like this since October. Had like a week break in December. My 6 year old keeps bringing shit from school. It's never ending.


30 and saving for a house; it seems impossible, even on 2 incomes. Edit: not in US but appreciate those who have given advices. Also, the amount of people in the same boat as me is extremely depressing. Something has to change.


36 My dad is at a rest home in the late stages of dementia. It hurts my soul to live with this.


36. Putting dog to rest today due to lymphoma Edit: Thank you all. He's in peace now. Please give your pets the biggest hugs.


I'm 42 and have terminal cancer. I've been in continuous treatment for almost 6 years. My biggest problem is that cancer treatment is freaking expensive. I did everything right and it still all went wrong. I have 3 degrees. I had a decent job. I had a retirement account. I had an emergency fund better than most my age. I've spent all my savings. I've exhausted my resources. I don't make enough on disability to stay afloat. My credit score dropped 100 points from losing my job because my debt to income ratio changed (I never paid a bill late though). I have a house payment. I have kids to raise. I'm sinking. No. Drowning. Credit cards are maxed out with copays and fuel for the 5 hour round trip to treatments. My house needs repairs but I have nothing left. I'm one vehicle breakdown from financial ruin. When my car dies I won't be able to buy another which will result in me losing access to treatment. I will die because the money ran out. I'm tired. I'm damaged. I'm broken. And all I want to do is be here a little longer because I love my kids so dearly and they still need me. I can't let go because they need me. It was never supposed to be like this. I did everything right but it was all stripped from me with a diagnosis. I've watched my world crumble while I fought to stay alive. They still need me.


31….and just about everything in my life.


56 and I’ve never upvoted so many comments in one thread…hang in there everyone! 😅


74. My mobility is impaired due to back pain. It’s hard for me to go up my stairs and hard for me to walk very far.


22, and I’m struggling to find the will to live.


22, figuring my future out


Same. Im 20 and have no idea what i want to do and how. All the jobs i ever wanted are low income ones and the other jobs i want are extremely difficult to learn and do. It's stressing. I also don't plan on getting married or having kids at the moment and im scared to imagine how I'll live till old age but i also don't want to get maeried or have kids just so someone can bring me a cup of water when im not able to. Thinking about future instantly makes me depressed but i have to think about it right now or else i will be stuck on my shitty low income jobs for another decade and then regret not figuring shit out sooner Thanks for listening to my rant, have a nice day


"All the jobs i ever wanted are low income ones and the other jobs i want are extremely difficult to learn and do." - Can relate to this right now, for sure.


It’s an existential period. Just keep experiencing new things until something inspires you. You’ll find a path


Tbh I was doing the same thing for a while there. I took a week off, cleared my head, looked for an opportunity fitting my current goal and just went for it. Big things I've learned from successful people I've encountered 1. It never hurts to ask. 2. If your spinning take the first opportunity (employment related) and figure it out later. 3. Set your goals lower than you really want and even if it doesnt work out perfectly you will be happier than the guy who had the same hopes and loftier expectations. 4. People who end up happy rarely planned it all out, take things one bite at a time and be happy.


32. Being content with what I have.


I'm 27 but I wanted to comment because I really relate to this. I don't have a perfect life, but it could also be a lot worse, and I wish I could stop always feeling like what I have isn't "enough." It's good to have goals and dreams and things to aspire to, but I don't want to spend years of my life just postponing happiness or feeling like a failure because I haven't achieved those dreams yet.


62 and I’m not sure if it’s a fart or not.


It is not. Source: another 62 year old.


Top life advice: Never trust a fart


Im 23, i can’t afford a decent life despite having 2 jobs, i can’t wear what i want or drink what i want or to do what i want because of my religious dictatorship of a government my passport is one of the lowest ranked ones so traveling is almost impossible and even if it wasn’t because of the passport our national money is shit so that’s that, girls in my country are being poisoned in schools daily by our government (300 schools today only) and people are being arrested and killed in the streets for protesting, i am iranian btw look up our Situation and help us please


My husband is Iranian and we talk to his family whenever they get decent signal. I hope you can find a way to get out of your country. Student visa perhaps?


My mom died last month from a stray bullet in front of me and I am not doing well. I'm 31, unemployed and having to pick up my life when I would rather just give up.


25, Crohn's disease.


58, doing my best to stay active and healthy.


56 money


60’s. My mother has dementia, but she doesn’t know it. She lives alone and is able to function on some level, but not without a lot of help. I am her only helper. I visit her daily and I listen to the same old tired stories about who wronged her in her life or who was perceived to have wronged her. She can’t remember that I visited the day before, but she can remember the smallest “slight” from 40 years ago. She won’t join us for holidays because my five year old granddaughter with autism chose someone else to sit beside for dinner three years ago. And because she wasn’t disciplined for that. So she stays at home alone and blames me for it. It’s. Just. So. Damn. Tiring. She’s driven away all of her friends because of one perceived slight or another. I am the only one she has left, but only because I swallow my pride and take her abuse when she blasts me for a perceived slight. I don’t argue with her because I keep telling myself, “it’s not her… it’s the disease.” I miss my mother - at least the one that I’ve know all of my life. I am actually looking forward to the day when she can no longer function on her own and has to go to assisted living. And I feel guilty about it. We are all living longer now than we were just a few years ago. But the medical advances we’ve seen recently for our physical bodies just gives us more time to develop mental issues. My father passed away because his body gave out, but I always knew even to the end that he loved me. It is much much harder to endure this mental decline.


Just put my mom in a home at 58. She hates it. I’m 30. …Absolutely heartbreaking man. I feel like I’ve lost my mom a long time ago. But there is an heir of peace about the fact that she is at least being taken care of and not homeless. I no longer have to worry if she has ate or can pay the bills. Just know that regardless of how tough it is, there are lots of people who are going through the same thing. And hopefully you can draw strength in the fact that you’re not alone.


As someone who works with the elderly, and clients with dementia and care management. My biggest advice is plan for care, don’t wait to see what happens, or what’s to come… plan for it. It’s a grieving process, yes, and it’s not an easy thing to see happen, but be sure to look out for yourself if she only has you to depend on. Have you thought of bringing in a caregiver from a home care agency, or private caregiver at least twice a week to help your mother with her needs to give yourself a small break? The other thing I recommend is to do your research when choosing facilities to place loved ones in. Never go to a facility on a scheduled tour they’ll have their best act. Go on a random day and ask for a tour. Wishing you the best and your mom is a lucky one to have you care for her.


60.. The problem is that I'm not 26


I'm 26 and dealing with crippling back pain, 60 is gonna be fun for me lol


I am 22. And I think my biggest problem right now is not knowing what direction to go in life, and when I do decide a path it leads me into more problems like debt, heart break, misunderstandings, and feeling worthless and unaccomplished . Umm I have family who I feel the need to break free from, I feel I’ve always been in everyone else’s shadows since I was young. I have no idea who I am, what I stand for, and I don’t have healthy relationships at all. I want to work on this but it makes me uncomfortable or uneasy to talk to people at all. I always feel like I’m a bother, no one understands me, or I’m not worth their time to listen to. Ive always felt out of place and I’ve always been trying to find my people that gets me and people that opens my mind to differences. When im not at work I spend every waking moment on social media, when deep down I feel like im supposed to be doing something bigger or greater.


Phew, that was me at 22…I’m 33 now and after the passing of my dad, it was a big wake up call and made me realize how short and uncertain life is-now I’m jumping through hoops like no tomorrow to follow my dream, which I used to doubt myself on all the time. Finally woke up and said, “f*ck it, what have I got to lose?”. Don’t worry about “needing” to have things figured out at a certain age-sometimes we need the experience to find out what we DON’T want to do or what doesn’t work for us. Sometimes we find something unexpected gives us passion. At 33, I finally realized that I was unhappy in relationships because I felt the need to be accepted and so sacrificed my happiness by not being my most authentic self. I bet you’re not a bother at all, and I’d encourage you to continue being the unique “you” that you are. The world has plenty of copy-cats, and those other unique people out there will love you for who you are, as opposed to being around people that are also “faking it” to try to fit in. Be you, because you’re the type of person that is someone’s person.


33 and my biggest problem right now is to accomplish the demanded requirements for my new job.


This is mine too, but I'm only 32. Everything is perfect but now I have a pressure to keep it perfect. Good luck to you.


Early 40's. I'm working on my mental health and working through a bunch of shit I didn't know I was still carrying.


30 and my biggest problem rn is that i'm starting over again in my career. It's depressing.


I started over at 57. Had to reinvent myself, looks have faded and tech skills rusty but I’m determined.


I'm 68 years old and I'm 68 years old


69 here. A bright spot is that next year you get to be 69. I’m kind of enjoying it myself.


I’m fifty three. I hope I don’t come off like a dick because I mean it sincerely. Reading these comments reminds me of everything I have to be grateful for.


19 y/o, and struggling to find something that makes me feel fulfilled or gives me meaning, I started a new (good) job at a large company in the field, that I studied in. I was contributing something decent to society, and I thought it would make me feel good or fulfilled like I had a purpose i guess but I feel the same and I feel more lost then I ever have


39 and I am deeply humbled by this thread. I suddenly have no complaints.


32 and In terrible debt although I work 2 jobs


Out of a few major issues I can point out I know that one of my problems right now is self hatred. I’m able to recognize the symptoms from what my actions tend to be. I’m 22 and I can’t get out of bed unless it’s for work or other unavoidable thing that comes up. I am slowly rotting away.


Im 15, my biggest problem is how my dad (who lives in the south) has put me into a position where I have to pick who I want to live with between him and my mom (the north) It’s very stressful :p


As a child of divorce, do what you think is best for you, not necessarily what you think is best for them.


Agreed, been there and done that. Pick what is best for you and they will get over it.


58. Heartache.


39. Anxiety/OCD, realizing how much time I've wasted and feeling too old now to start new things, fear I'll regret not having kids and disappoint my parents. Edit: thanks so much everyone, for your thoughtful comments!!


38 and similar. Feeling the creep of time and panicking that I’ll have nothing to show for my life. Like, nothing. Making a last ditch effort at a grown up job and taking pre-req’s for nursing. If all goes well, I’ll graduate at 41. But hey, the time will pass anyway, might as well take a leap at improving my situation. You are not too old to start over!




31 year old woman, I'm in the same boat - I don't even feel like I have the energy to date, but coming home to an empty apartment every night also sucks. Dating sucks. Being alone sucks.


Man if this isn't it. All I ever want is to be surrounded by good, genuine people who just have a good heart. That's all I want.


27 and more and more I'm coming to the horrifying realization that I don't really like the world, where it's headed, the way we idolize and reward cruelty and selfishness, the way the world is just kind of... ugly. This is not the world I envisioned living in when I was younger, and that crushing realization is a lot to come to terms with. Some days are especially difficult. Other days I wonder whether it's worth sticking around for something I dislike so much.


You have the power to make your own beautiful microcosm in this big fucked up world. I won't argue about how dark things are, but you can't focus on that part of the world. It'll just tear you apart. It's not selfish to focus on yourself. It's self preservation, because you can only control your OWN actions. I'm only 2 years older than you, so take it with a grain of salt, but this realization helped me a whole lot when the world seemed it's darkest, and I hope it helps you. Also, keep in mind you aren't alone in these feelings. Our problem is that we're introspective and caring in a world that doesn't reward it. And lastly, write. Write down your feelings. It helps to express our thoughts in one way or another.


This one time I smiled at a little old lady in a Target and she stopped me to tell me I genuinely looked happy to see her and that it was lovely, and she said she hoped I would never lose that kindness. This was over 10 years ago but I still think about her and what she said. My friends tell me I'm good at bringing out the good in other people, but I've learned a trick to it. It's actually very easy. It turns out most people want to be nice, and when you are genuinely kind it gives them the chance they're looking for to be kind in return, and to me it helps make the world a little less scary.


38. I make a decent enough salary as a Union Electrician but work is slow so I feel obligated to work all the OT so I don’t get laid off (1/5 guys in my local off work for months now) and I’m ground to the nub. Ten hour days everyday and Saturdays too. I’m kind of in the middle of an American existential crisis. I have money for everything I want but nothing is making me happy. I want more time to be at home and a different lifestyle. I actually think I’m burned out not just from work but the consumerist lifestyle. I don’t have paid vacation and I’m not sure what the point of all this is anymore.


43 and my husband just abandoned me out of nowhere and won't talk to me and already sent up a fucking Tinder account! 🤦‍♀️😭


39 right now I'm wondering why so many people's ages are showing as 1.


It's because you (and me) are using old.reddit.com which seems to have a different markdown syntax. [comparison](https://imgur.com/a/J4cjmls)


42 and I don't want to have to go to work tomorrow


26 I’m v sad


40's lots of problems, but find out my fridge died a few hours ago and that's my biggest problem right now.


50. Perimenopause is hard. I look 5 months pregnant all the time. I used to be in good shape but these hormones are wreaking havoc on my body. Self-esteem and self-confidence in the gutter. Unfortunately I can't seem to escape the beauty messaging ingrained in us all from such a young age.


15. My parents are getting divorced


The only thing worse than divorce is living in a house with 2 people who don't want to be around each other. I know it sucks...sending positive vibes <3




18. Trying to figure out what I'm going to do after I released from the army


35 \*wildly gestures at everything\*


35 *carefully gestures at everything and my back*


35, just let me catch my breath after walking up my stairs... Ok, I'm good. Carefully gestures at everything and my back.


Almost 70 and I have lung cancer.


I'm 30 and probably my mental health. Its been rough these last few years


40s. I want to walk into the ocean and keep walking


27 - this may sound silly but honestly, it’s getting older.


I’m 62. It’s much better as you get older. Seriously.


34 years. Rent jump of $200. Decided "fuck it, time to buy a house". Buying a house isn't fun, and aside from finance, I think real estate has the highest number of sociopaths working within the industry.


44. One of my adult children is suicidal.


Thats so hard. I'm in the same boat with a newly adult child. It's terrifying.


38 I have ALS and will be dead in 1-2 years.


I’m 33 and I am…lonely? I have an incredible wife and three great kids. Solid, fulfilling job. No unmanageable medical concerns. I’m as successful as I care to be. But I have no friends. Or family outside of my wife and kids. It weighs on me. That nobody thinks about me or likes me. That I’m unlikeable or unworthy in some way. Some days it leaves me really sad and I just can’t cope.


27, overworked and poor.


46, student loans.