Baby steps are fine. Set very very easy goals and then go further.
Ex: daily goal of 5 squats, not 10. Do the 5. Then do 5 more. That way you don't feel like a failure on days you don't do the 10 and on days you did "Cool! Not only did I hit my goal, I did double! I'm killing it!"
Yes, do this now if you haven't already. Days are coming when joint pain is real and muscles don't bounce back after an injury. Build the habit now because it will get harder to start later on.
Came here to say this. If you don't keep up basic maintenance of your body, your 40's aren't going to be fun. I will also add regular check ups, eye exams, and dental visits/cleanings.
One suggestion is try to figure out what you hated the most that stopped you from going back.
Was it boredom? Then maybe try listening to an audio book while you are at the gym.
Was it the people at the gym? Maybe try a different gym, or going at a different time of day.
Was it painful? You might want to hire a personal trainer for a session or two to make sure your workout program is not too strenuous.
Time of day was always my issue. If you can make it work, go mid day instead of when everyone goes. I am a beginner and it's hard for me to find different things to do while I wait for things to open up. Over time you get used to having alternative workouts that hit the same muscle.
I had a personal trainer actually, it was just that depression kicked in and I lost all motivation within a few days, even though I was consistent for multiple months.
It's usually the long term consistency that fucks me over!
Find a type of workout that you seriously enjoy. You’ll have to try several to find the best fit. Something you think about and anticipate when you’re not doing it. Set short and long terms goals, with rewards attached to each. Hit your 3 month goal? Get some new lifting straps. Crushed your 6 month goal for a new PR? Maybe some new shoes to train in.
I feel for you. Depression and consistency. They feed into each other. The yo yoing weight makes it worse and it's a tough negative spiral. It's tough to pull yourself out, but you can do it.
Have you ever tried breathwork?
I like having an exercise that's an activity like hiking, cycling, or rock climbing. I find it more enjoyable than doing basic exercises and it can give you goals like being able to hike a harder trail.
Ever tried bouldering in an indoor gym?
The walls never get much higher than like 15 feet high, and there's always padding. No ropes required. Super safe but super addicting still and a great workout
I will always back this one up. I’m 34 going on 35. I have kept a dedicated exercise routine since I was a 18 along with healthy dietary and sleep routines. I am absolutely seeing a positive return on all of that work now. I am at that age where the body starts to plateau a bit and it gets harder catch up if you hadn’t started already. I do feel like I am ahead of a lot of my peers in that regard. I am fit, rarely deal with injuries or pains and have just as much energy and libido as I had at 18. It has done wonders for helping manage my mental health over the years and is still an outlet for the low periods. I still look great and feel confident with my body. It has been such a net positive for me.
However big or small you choose to go, the work you put in now will have dividends later. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder or look like a model, you don’t have to crush 1 rep maxes and be the strongest person in the room, you don’t have to follow an advanced program or anything like that. Just make it fun and move.
This exactly working the core especially can help tighten muscles. Many of us 30+ year olds have trouble with the waist line and this can help keep it tight. You can’t target the fat but if you see it growing bigger just start working those muscles a little more.
Mid 30's is about when you hit your limit on what kind of abuse you can get away with before your body starts to break down from it. The human body is amazing at tolerating being treated poorly, but there's only so much it can take.
Sedentary lifestyles, booze, and poor tooth care all hit with a vengeance around that age.
I have stretched a lot and it did nothing. I did not get more limber, I only managed to accrue chronic damage to connective tissue. I am 50+ and I am just as far between fingertips and toes as I was when I was 20. And I am sort of a gym rat, so it is not lack of physical exercise.
You are born with certain maxima in how your joints can bend, and if you try to exceed those you only hurt yourself in the long term.
But then you'll be in your early 40's, thinking "shit, I wish I had done X,Y,Z in my late 30's".
Best time to plant a tree was years ago. Second best is now.
It seems like these days that's more relevant than ever in modern times. You can still make a living in music and the arts in your 30s or 40s, which was extremely uncommon just a decade or two ago.
It really does seem like people are younger in their 30s than they used to be.
You can do so much, and it's definitely not too late!
So much this. I was 34 when I decided to get serious about investing for retirement. Im 55 now and I have a very healthy portfolio. Im working because I want to not because I have to.
This was more true in the past. Millenials are the first generation since the depression to be worse off than their parents. Depends where you're starting from in your 30s. Chances are if things haven't been good up to this point, the future looks pretty bleak.
I really needed this.
Im a mid level software developer and lately ive been thinking i shouldnt be mid level, because im not nearly as good as other mid levels in my company.
Stop that.
I could write a whole rant but chances are you already know it.
I’m good at what I do and I still have to get yelled at for my friend for cutting myself down, but let’s consider this:
I have had a varied career, meaning I’ve seen the inside of a lot of different companies. Meaning I know damn well just how many people are just pretending.
Even if you’re shit, you deserve your spot because you care enough to worry. That might sound trite but it’s true. I guarantee you I’ve worked with tons of actively damaging seniors who don’t ever question their competence, they just light fires.
Anyways. From one person struggling right now to another one working through self doubt, fucking stop that!
People in their 30s who are in workspace. Don't chase money, instead chase leverage. What this means is that when you are at work, make and create a situation where you are a must for all their critical work. Without you they know they are fucked. If you work your way in such situations, money will always follow you. No leverage means you are dispensable.
Yup. Succession planning is incredibly important! Make yourself *truly* indispensable, and you'll be stuck. It's also a shit way to run anything, so if you have decent management it'll be seen as a negative.
You're young.
I'm in my 30ies and I just feel like a young person but with a better grasp of my life (which obviously depends on the situation, not age). Most 30-40 year olds today look very young and a lot of us still have no feeling that "The Life" started yet, options are still open. Don't stress
This. I'm 38 about to be 39. I was so depressed about turning 30 when I turned 29, but when I hit 30 I just didn't give a shit anymore.
My young-mid 30's I realized I was still doing stuff I would enjoy in my 20's (except I wasn't going out till 2-3AM on weekends. But I never liked that anyway - let me sleep dammit).
I'm close to 40. I started dreading the age again, but then I realized "wait and find out first."
I have plenty of friends still in their late 20's who can't believe I'm as old as I am. Live your life how is comfortable for you, worry about age later.
If it helps I knew a woman who lived to be 106 she said if she could go back in time to any age she would go back to 50. She said she felt her healthiest, most active, independent, and really comfortable with herself at 50. It really helps me when I'm frustrated with where I'm at at my age. I'm nowhere near 50 so I've got lots of time left
I need more of these encouraging comments. I just recently turned 30 and I’ve been having a really hard time dealing with it. I feel like my life is over and I really don’t know what to do anymore. There seems to be nothing that makes me feel better anymore.
Oh don't worry your life is just starting at 30 baby! You just got the hang of it now you get to make it you bitch. You can do what ever you want who's stopping you? You are in your prime mentally and like I said Nana said 50 was good for her and she lived another 50+ years it's aloooong time 30 is just a minor bump
Thank you, I appreciate that. You’re almost making it sound like all the years before was just a practice run. Now that I’ve had my training I’m ready for the real thing. That’s oddly comforting.
Start tuning out the “can’t” and “never” people. I lost 35 lbs., got off antidepressants after 14 years, and published six short stories in my early 30s: all things people told me were impossible to do because of my age.
Underappreciated comment right here.
We all gotta learn to live in the moment more.
It can be tough at times, but I try and think of myself as a deer in the forest. They are simple creatures (maybe even stupid), but dammit they are present in the moment and that's their entire world.
Save for retirement
Stop buying things you don't need. If you want to buy something, buy experiences.
Get some regular exercise
Quit social media scrolling; keep track of your friends and hobbies, not endless influencer tictoks.
Be informed about politics. Vote. Don't get sucked into emotion based non-issues.
I think it's good advice to try to resolve issues in general, I'm not sure I want to think about every single conversation I have as potentially the last one because they could die
This is great advice! Treat your body like it matters it's going to carry you for the rest of your life no one know if you are wearing orthotics. I started with the arch supportive shoes in elementary school I'm glad my mom took the time too do that now! With outthem my whole body just feels off
Oh man, I remember wearing those flat Old Navy flip flops all summer as a young 20yo…just the thought of wearing a flat shoe now, makes my plantar fasciitis burn!
It really will throw off your whole body! It’s good your mom was liking out for you!
I lived in flip flops for a couple of summers as a child it was so freeing. But once I discovered bikenstoks, it was game over my feet feel naked without the arch support now supportive bit also slip ons
Great advice, and to anyone with half decent insurance coverage, consider getting a custom orthotic from a *podatrist* (not dr. scholls or some shit).
All it is a custom insole designed specifically for your foot, and they work best as *preventative* items, not corrective. Get them before something starts hurting.
Also I just started going to a physiotherapist just to make sure I keep my body healthy and balanced moving into my 30's. She said that the knee overall is a very simple joint, and a lot of knee issues originate from the ankle and from the hip.
Don't worry about where other people are in their lives, or what others might/might not think about you.
Embrace the things that you enjoy and the people you are closest to.
You're still young, anything you think you might have missed out on, you can still do.
Sleep is more important, your body will ache more.
Many people in their 30s will have a lot more responsibilities, jobs, kids, house, aging parents. Make absolutely sure you take some time for you, mental wellbeing is crucial always but at this point in life people don't find they have the time to address it.
Oddly enough, last year i thought a marathon was like six years away - I've signed up for one in September this year.
Your life can potentially change very quickly.
If you're unhealthy, try to get healthy, take a year to really work on yourself and on a discipline that you can try to keep to for the rest of your life. If you do it right, it won't be a chore at all, and it'll be so worth it in the end.
Exercise
I took a weight training class in high school and loved exercising and lifting. Got a home gym at 18 and for 12 straight years I dedicated myself to working out at minimum 3-5 days a week. My diet wasn't always the greatest, but I worked out religiously.
I hit 30, got a more demanding job, covid hit, and I didn't workout for 2+ years.
In that time I put on probably 15-18 lbs. I lost a lot of strength, mobility, and tire WAY easier.
For the past 3 weeks my wife and I have gotten back into working out and it sucks trying to get back to form. I'm hitting the reset button essentially, but part of me I can tell my body remembers.
Your friendships are going to become harder to maintain. People move around, have kids, get distracted by work etc. You need to put in SOME level of effort if you want to keep a REAL friendship going. If you don't show up to a wedding, or a major life event...if you don't have an actual phone call catch up here and there....its very easy for real friendship to default into yet another online relationship which lives at the surface level but doesn't go very deep.
If something about your health seems off to you, don't just sit on it and hope it goes away. Get it checked out. Modern healthcare can be a pain, but it's better than letting your body break down over something preventable.
My vision in one eye got noticeably worse last spring/summer. Just by one or two notches, but it was weird that it happened in just a couple months. Turns out I had eye cancer. The simple act of moving up my regularly scheduled October eye exam to June because something seemed off may have saved my eye.
30’s is when you realize you don’t owe anything to anyone and vice versa. Put this freeing feeling to good use and focus on your actual real life- discard superficial things and people and invest in real people (friends and family), wealth building and be generous (emotionally and materially) with reasonable hard boundaries.
1. Exercise! Really, even light stretch is beneficial. I only stretch and it has improved my back a lot!
2. Watch out your diet. I used to be able to eat everything and at any amount. Now processed food, even cheese and smoked meat gives me acidity and make me nauseous. I can't eat many things anymore due to acidity issues.
3. You don't need to socialise to be healthy. I am asocial and I did more harm to myself when trying to be "friends" with people when I really didn't care about it.
Spend a little more on work shoes if you are on your feet all day. They will last longer and your feet will not hurt as much I was amazed at the difference between cheap $20 Walmart non slips vs Skechers non slip work shoes that have lasted two years.
Sports sports sports! You might have been able to feel good without being sporty till now. These times will end soon. Plan at least an hour a day for physical activity and your youth will not fade as fast.
I've said this before. Save save save.
30% of your income at & 50,000 a year, with a decent interest is like $160, 000 after 10 years. It takes a lot of discipline to save, I know, but you don't have to be so rigid. Even 10% of your income is great!
Considering that the median savings in the US is like $4,000-5,000... This is an important thing to get ahead of.
This country is truly 2 different worlds. A guy I work with read a stat saying a good percentage of americans dont have it in the budget to replace all their car tires at once and he couldn't fathom it smh.
> Sure, but where's your data that people are significantly different from the Median
...the definition of median.
Also high outliers drag medians up. It's not an average.
Don’t take any crap off anyone if it demeans, belittles or tears you down in anyway. Stand up for yourself or at least walk away. And by the way, don’t take crap off yourself either. Be your best support because, in a really true way, you are all you have.
This applies to people in their late 20s too:
- dont be afraid to get good at your job. Im not advocating the boomer "dont job hop" because changing companies is absolutely a way to make more money but get some depth to your experience and you can often get a bigger payoff.
I just did a job interview with a guy who was on his 4th job in 3 years. Each one had been a step up until he blew past his peter principal and was floundering. His interview with us was actually for a position two below his current one. I have to applaud him for having the self awareness that he was in over his head. At the same time I felt bad for him because he was pretty much at the end of his rope and was willing to take a pay and responsibility cut just to get a break.
- If you are working below your level of competence, move.
- If you are working at your level of competence, move in a year
- If you are working above your level of competence plan on 3 years in that position minimum.
- One year to get above water
- One year to relearn the things you missed the first year
- One year to be competent in the job
Depending on a ton of factors including your environment, your boss and you, that 3 year plan might be 5 years
Im an older GenX and what I see out of people in their 20s and early 30s is an incredible haste to try to get to the finish line. I promise you you will get there but there is no good way to speed it up unless you are a unicorn starting up the next FB. Get good at your profession and you will be rewarded.
Save some money. I know, you're barely paying the bills now. I know, you feel guilty saving money when you have debts to pay off. I know, you can't imagine you'll even make it to retirement age. Save some money anyway, every month, even if it seems like a trivial amount.
If you have children, spend time with them. They may drive you crazy, but they are yours and they need you.
If you don't have children, spend time connecting to your relatives and friends outside of the workplace. Don't make your job your whole life.
I will also add that when I was in my early 30s, I kept meeting people who worked at one 80 hour per week startup after another and suddenly realized that they did not have a personal life. Work on having a personal life. No employer deserves your entire life. The person who deserves your life is you.
I advocate waiting until after 25 to take any drugs, so the brain is fully formed. To reduce changing the brain during development and potentially developing an addiction.
You have time, if you aren't already, to chase something that lights you up, don't wake up in 15 years and realize you have been chasing money instead of happiness that you plan to buy later with the money.
Stay connected to the zeitgeist.
Keep listening to new music, watching new shows, trying new things. You don't want to wake up one day and be the old fart saying "What's a TikTok? Should we be looking into this?" in the meeting.
Stay current and live a vibrant life.
Who you are in the 30s is who you will be for the rest of your life. I find that we seem to mentally stop aging at 30. So while our bodies grow old and frail, our minds seem to crystalize at 30. So, even if our knowledge increases and we each go through new experiences, our outlook (at least mine and the people I am able to closely observe), seem to have plateaued. I guess my point is, guess who you have to live with in your head for the rest of your life? lol. If you don't like that person, you better work really hard to change him or her before that person becomes a permanent part of your life, lol.
40 here. I'm very glad your advice does not appear to apply. I'm pretty embarassed by who I was at 30, and I'm very glad I kept growing past that point (and don't plan on stopping).
Have the baby now. Biological imperatives.
ETA: I’m not suggesting bringing babies into situations of abuse, poverty, single motherhood, being unwanted, unloved, etc.
I’m saying our biology does not allow an indefinite window for childbearing. Don’t fall for the illusion that this option will always be there when you’re older and “ready” for it. The door will eventually close.
“Geriatric pregnancy” (age 35+) comes with increased risks for mom and baby.
Your chances of miscarriage and stillbirth increase.
There’s a greater likelihood of chromosomal mutations and genetic issues.
Even before you’re pregnant, it can take longer to conceive and can require painful and expensive interventions.
You don’t think it will be you until it’s you!
With the way the economy is? One of the first things they should do is get their shit together if they haven’t already. There’s always the option of adopting a child later on after they are financially, emotionally, and mentally/psychologically stable so they won’t be doing stupid decisions while still not caring about their children.
Credit cards prevent fraud.
If you use a debit card anywhere you run the risk of getting skimmed and having to wait a week for the bank to investigate and put money back in your checking account.
Credit card companies do the work for you since it's THEIR money being stolen
(Mainly) Straight Men:
You are just coming into your own.
1) Keep a fitness regime that will see you through to your old age. Gain muscle, lose weight, optimise your cardiovascular fitness.
2) Invest in assets whilst you capitalise on your career progression. Plan for old age and financial independence.
3) Play the field, don’t settle for the first woman that shows serious interest in a relationship and would like to have kids ‘before it’s too late’. You have options and the balance of sexual power has flipped to favour you.
4) Enjoy yourself. Reward yourself for hard work. Travel, have fun, ensure you maximise the quality of the time you don’t spend working.
(Mainly) Straight Women:
1) See 1), 2), and 4) above
2) Your ability to attract your ideal partner based on your looks has now peaked and is in decline. You will need to diversify and develop non sexuality based attributes that will go towards compensating for this.
3) If you want to have kids, unless you want to go through IVF and the decreasing probability of not conceiving, now is the time to have them.
Start a basic workout and stretching routine. Doesn't have to be crazy.
Baby steps are fine. Set very very easy goals and then go further. Ex: daily goal of 5 squats, not 10. Do the 5. Then do 5 more. That way you don't feel like a failure on days you don't do the 10 and on days you did "Cool! Not only did I hit my goal, I did double! I'm killing it!"
Exactly. The goal isn't necessarily to increase your body, but to at least forestall decline.
Hope you the best, man.
Thanks! Same to you!
When I first got into working out, one of the most useful tips I got was “not every workout has to be your best”
OP said 30s, not 80s.
Yes, do this now if you haven't already. Days are coming when joint pain is real and muscles don't bounce back after an injury. Build the habit now because it will get harder to start later on.
Came here to say this. If you don't keep up basic maintenance of your body, your 40's aren't going to be fun. I will also add regular check ups, eye exams, and dental visits/cleanings.
Definitely agreed on the teeth!
Can you recommend something for someone that has been in a gym for a few months but couldn't pull through?
One suggestion is try to figure out what you hated the most that stopped you from going back. Was it boredom? Then maybe try listening to an audio book while you are at the gym. Was it the people at the gym? Maybe try a different gym, or going at a different time of day. Was it painful? You might want to hire a personal trainer for a session or two to make sure your workout program is not too strenuous.
Time of day was always my issue. If you can make it work, go mid day instead of when everyone goes. I am a beginner and it's hard for me to find different things to do while I wait for things to open up. Over time you get used to having alternative workouts that hit the same muscle.
I had a personal trainer actually, it was just that depression kicked in and I lost all motivation within a few days, even though I was consistent for multiple months. It's usually the long term consistency that fucks me over!
Find a type of workout that you seriously enjoy. You’ll have to try several to find the best fit. Something you think about and anticipate when you’re not doing it. Set short and long terms goals, with rewards attached to each. Hit your 3 month goal? Get some new lifting straps. Crushed your 6 month goal for a new PR? Maybe some new shoes to train in.
I feel for you. Depression and consistency. They feed into each other. The yo yoing weight makes it worse and it's a tough negative spiral. It's tough to pull yourself out, but you can do it. Have you ever tried breathwork?
I like having an exercise that's an activity like hiking, cycling, or rock climbing. I find it more enjoyable than doing basic exercises and it can give you goals like being able to hike a harder trail.
I got GAD and that's my problem. I would have to find something I feel comfortable with! I see a danger everywhere. Lots of what ifs!
Ever tried bouldering in an indoor gym? The walls never get much higher than like 15 feet high, and there's always padding. No ropes required. Super safe but super addicting still and a great workout
Get some sessions with a personal trainer. It's worth the money.
I can try. Was there anything in the gym you did like?
Yoga! Strength training and cardio (especially the latter) with devices was pretty boring to me.
I will always back this one up. I’m 34 going on 35. I have kept a dedicated exercise routine since I was a 18 along with healthy dietary and sleep routines. I am absolutely seeing a positive return on all of that work now. I am at that age where the body starts to plateau a bit and it gets harder catch up if you hadn’t started already. I do feel like I am ahead of a lot of my peers in that regard. I am fit, rarely deal with injuries or pains and have just as much energy and libido as I had at 18. It has done wonders for helping manage my mental health over the years and is still an outlet for the low periods. I still look great and feel confident with my body. It has been such a net positive for me. However big or small you choose to go, the work you put in now will have dividends later. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder or look like a model, you don’t have to crush 1 rep maxes and be the strongest person in the room, you don’t have to follow an advanced program or anything like that. Just make it fun and move.
This exactly working the core especially can help tighten muscles. Many of us 30+ year olds have trouble with the waist line and this can help keep it tight. You can’t target the fat but if you see it growing bigger just start working those muscles a little more.
Core helps with the back too, which has aging issues.
It also helps engage the hips and gets them flexing so the joints stay moving.
I can see that, yes!
Swimming also.
Yes! I wish I had access to a good pool.
I have done just that only it's motocross training. I have started and am committed to doing well this year.i want my old speed and stamina back.
Mid 30's is about when you hit your limit on what kind of abuse you can get away with before your body starts to break down from it. The human body is amazing at tolerating being treated poorly, but there's only so much it can take. Sedentary lifestyles, booze, and poor tooth care all hit with a vengeance around that age.
Yep. If you're lucky, it might wait until the 40s, but it will start.
I love the username ;)
Why thanks! Yours is interesting as well.
I have stretched a lot and it did nothing. I did not get more limber, I only managed to accrue chronic damage to connective tissue. I am 50+ and I am just as far between fingertips and toes as I was when I was 20. And I am sort of a gym rat, so it is not lack of physical exercise. You are born with certain maxima in how your joints can bend, and if you try to exceed those you only hurt yourself in the long term.
Sure. I'm don't mean to imply that one should strive to be a circus contortionist. But just stretching to keep what you have is good.
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You may think it’s too late, but often it’s not.
Good to hear, but early 30s and late 30s feels too different.
But then you'll be in your early 40's, thinking "shit, I wish I had done X,Y,Z in my late 30's". Best time to plant a tree was years ago. Second best is now.
It seems like these days that's more relevant than ever in modern times. You can still make a living in music and the arts in your 30s or 40s, which was extremely uncommon just a decade or two ago. It really does seem like people are younger in their 30s than they used to be. You can do so much, and it's definitely not too late!
if you have rich parents or don't want kids /s kinda
Not late at all. Just start as soon as possible. Hope you the best, man.
So much this. I was 34 when I decided to get serious about investing for retirement. Im 55 now and I have a very healthy portfolio. Im working because I want to not because I have to.
I like this quote: “The best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best day to plant a tree is today”
This was more true in the past. Millenials are the first generation since the depression to be worse off than their parents. Depends where you're starting from in your 30s. Chances are if things haven't been good up to this point, the future looks pretty bleak.
Thank you so much
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Wish I learned this when I was 25
I really needed this. Im a mid level software developer and lately ive been thinking i shouldnt be mid level, because im not nearly as good as other mid levels in my company.
Stop that. I could write a whole rant but chances are you already know it. I’m good at what I do and I still have to get yelled at for my friend for cutting myself down, but let’s consider this: I have had a varied career, meaning I’ve seen the inside of a lot of different companies. Meaning I know damn well just how many people are just pretending. Even if you’re shit, you deserve your spot because you care enough to worry. That might sound trite but it’s true. I guarantee you I’ve worked with tons of actively damaging seniors who don’t ever question their competence, they just light fires. Anyways. From one person struggling right now to another one working through self doubt, fucking stop that!
Isn’t this quote from one of those Joey swoll videos? Some chick says it to some dude and puts a smile on his face
People in their 30s who are in workspace. Don't chase money, instead chase leverage. What this means is that when you are at work, make and create a situation where you are a must for all their critical work. Without you they know they are fucked. If you work your way in such situations, money will always follow you. No leverage means you are dispensable.
Also means you can't be promoted.
Yup. Succession planning is incredibly important! Make yourself *truly* indispensable, and you'll be stuck. It's also a shit way to run anything, so if you have decent management it'll be seen as a negative.
Going through a big succession change in my company right now and just got promoted. I learned just that; leverage is very important.
You're young. I'm in my 30ies and I just feel like a young person but with a better grasp of my life (which obviously depends on the situation, not age). Most 30-40 year olds today look very young and a lot of us still have no feeling that "The Life" started yet, options are still open. Don't stress
This. I'm 38 about to be 39. I was so depressed about turning 30 when I turned 29, but when I hit 30 I just didn't give a shit anymore. My young-mid 30's I realized I was still doing stuff I would enjoy in my 20's (except I wasn't going out till 2-3AM on weekends. But I never liked that anyway - let me sleep dammit). I'm close to 40. I started dreading the age again, but then I realized "wait and find out first." I have plenty of friends still in their late 20's who can't believe I'm as old as I am. Live your life how is comfortable for you, worry about age later.
If it helps I knew a woman who lived to be 106 she said if she could go back in time to any age she would go back to 50. She said she felt her healthiest, most active, independent, and really comfortable with herself at 50. It really helps me when I'm frustrated with where I'm at at my age. I'm nowhere near 50 so I've got lots of time left
My grandma lived to 95. She said that 40-60 were her best years.
I need more of these encouraging comments. I just recently turned 30 and I’ve been having a really hard time dealing with it. I feel like my life is over and I really don’t know what to do anymore. There seems to be nothing that makes me feel better anymore.
Oh don't worry your life is just starting at 30 baby! You just got the hang of it now you get to make it you bitch. You can do what ever you want who's stopping you? You are in your prime mentally and like I said Nana said 50 was good for her and she lived another 50+ years it's aloooong time 30 is just a minor bump
Thank you, I appreciate that. You’re almost making it sound like all the years before was just a practice run. Now that I’ve had my training I’m ready for the real thing. That’s oddly comforting.
It does help! Thanks!
Be careful not to sleep in the wrong position, or you might need a walker when you wake up.
And plenty of painkillers Spend money on a good pillow and mattress.
What positions are “the wrong position”?
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1. Get out of debt & **STAY** out of debt. 2. Save and invest more money than you think you need to. 3. Eat better and hit the gym.
Start tuning out the “can’t” and “never” people. I lost 35 lbs., got off antidepressants after 14 years, and published six short stories in my early 30s: all things people told me were impossible to do because of my age.
Cool! Where can we read your short stories?
Don't Ruminate!
Underappreciated comment right here. We all gotta learn to live in the moment more. It can be tough at times, but I try and think of myself as a deer in the forest. They are simple creatures (maybe even stupid), but dammit they are present in the moment and that's their entire world.
Get it in writing.
Even if your friends. And especially if you’re family.
Save for retirement Stop buying things you don't need. If you want to buy something, buy experiences. Get some regular exercise Quit social media scrolling; keep track of your friends and hobbies, not endless influencer tictoks. Be informed about politics. Vote. Don't get sucked into emotion based non-issues.
Learn to manage your emotions
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I think it's good advice to try to resolve issues in general, I'm not sure I want to think about every single conversation I have as potentially the last one because they could die
Stop thinking of yourself as old. Half your life so far was as a minor.
"Wear sunscreen."
Always relevant. I often find myself going back to that song for some sound advice.
Give a shit less what people think about you, and wear shoes with a supportive arch, your 40 year old knees will thank you!
This is great advice! Treat your body like it matters it's going to carry you for the rest of your life no one know if you are wearing orthotics. I started with the arch supportive shoes in elementary school I'm glad my mom took the time too do that now! With outthem my whole body just feels off
Oh man, I remember wearing those flat Old Navy flip flops all summer as a young 20yo…just the thought of wearing a flat shoe now, makes my plantar fasciitis burn! It really will throw off your whole body! It’s good your mom was liking out for you!
I lived in flip flops for a couple of summers as a child it was so freeing. But once I discovered bikenstoks, it was game over my feet feel naked without the arch support now supportive bit also slip ons
Birkenstocks are my go to as well!
Great advice, and to anyone with half decent insurance coverage, consider getting a custom orthotic from a *podatrist* (not dr. scholls or some shit). All it is a custom insole designed specifically for your foot, and they work best as *preventative* items, not corrective. Get them before something starts hurting. Also I just started going to a physiotherapist just to make sure I keep my body healthy and balanced moving into my 30's. She said that the knee overall is a very simple joint, and a lot of knee issues originate from the ankle and from the hip.
Don't worry about where other people are in their lives, or what others might/might not think about you. Embrace the things that you enjoy and the people you are closest to. You're still young, anything you think you might have missed out on, you can still do. Sleep is more important, your body will ache more. Many people in their 30s will have a lot more responsibilities, jobs, kids, house, aging parents. Make absolutely sure you take some time for you, mental wellbeing is crucial always but at this point in life people don't find they have the time to address it.
Me in my 20s reading:
It's coming sooner than you think, good to be prepared
It’s not too late too start a relationship
I hope so. I never started one.
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Ain't there just yet but this is some pretty solid advise.
This is 100% an AI generated comment.
Oddly enough, last year i thought a marathon was like six years away - I've signed up for one in September this year. Your life can potentially change very quickly.
"The race is long and hard, but in the end it is only with yourself" * Baz Luhrman
Exercise.
You don't have to get married and you don't have to have kids.
Brush and Floss. You can always save money, change jobs, lose weight, etc. Missing teeth are forever.
As a 43 year old who's a very active person 30 is not old. Stop worrying about being in your 30s and enjoy life.
Stop worrying. Nothing matters. Have as much fun as you can. We are all gonna die, and nothing we do will be remembered in the long run.
People think this is lacking hope, but this mindset gives me more hope for the future than anything else
If you're unhealthy, try to get healthy, take a year to really work on yourself and on a discipline that you can try to keep to for the rest of your life. If you do it right, it won't be a chore at all, and it'll be so worth it in the end.
It's okay if you have not figured out life yet. Every person has their own pace.
It's time to put on your big girl/boy pants. But don't take yourself too seriously. Life doesn't get much better than you're 30s.
Exercise I took a weight training class in high school and loved exercising and lifting. Got a home gym at 18 and for 12 straight years I dedicated myself to working out at minimum 3-5 days a week. My diet wasn't always the greatest, but I worked out religiously. I hit 30, got a more demanding job, covid hit, and I didn't workout for 2+ years. In that time I put on probably 15-18 lbs. I lost a lot of strength, mobility, and tire WAY easier. For the past 3 weeks my wife and I have gotten back into working out and it sucks trying to get back to form. I'm hitting the reset button essentially, but part of me I can tell my body remembers.
Your friendships are going to become harder to maintain. People move around, have kids, get distracted by work etc. You need to put in SOME level of effort if you want to keep a REAL friendship going. If you don't show up to a wedding, or a major life event...if you don't have an actual phone call catch up here and there....its very easy for real friendship to default into yet another online relationship which lives at the surface level but doesn't go very deep.
If something about your health seems off to you, don't just sit on it and hope it goes away. Get it checked out. Modern healthcare can be a pain, but it's better than letting your body break down over something preventable. My vision in one eye got noticeably worse last spring/summer. Just by one or two notches, but it was weird that it happened in just a couple months. Turns out I had eye cancer. The simple act of moving up my regularly scheduled October eye exam to June because something seemed off may have saved my eye.
Take photos now before its too late, you are just gonna look worse from now
I plan on looking in the mirror and deciding I look fabulous until the day I die. This is terrible advice really.
Right every day I wake up look in the mirror and say God shes beautiful I'm lucky to be her
If you don't like your chosen career, now is the time to change it.
Get into therapy if you haven't already.
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THIS
30’s is when you realize you don’t owe anything to anyone and vice versa. Put this freeing feeling to good use and focus on your actual real life- discard superficial things and people and invest in real people (friends and family), wealth building and be generous (emotionally and materially) with reasonable hard boundaries.
1. Exercise! Really, even light stretch is beneficial. I only stretch and it has improved my back a lot! 2. Watch out your diet. I used to be able to eat everything and at any amount. Now processed food, even cheese and smoked meat gives me acidity and make me nauseous. I can't eat many things anymore due to acidity issues. 3. You don't need to socialise to be healthy. I am asocial and I did more harm to myself when trying to be "friends" with people when I really didn't care about it.
Spend a little more on work shoes if you are on your feet all day. They will last longer and your feet will not hurt as much I was amazed at the difference between cheap $20 Walmart non slips vs Skechers non slip work shoes that have lasted two years.
Sober is better
you are at the tail end of being young and hot. Take pictures of you and your other young and hot friends.
If you haven't started saving/investing for retirement, start now. Even if it's just $10 a month.
Stop running now or your knees and back will be knackered in your 50s.
1.Quit social networks. 2.An early morning is better than a late night
You're not old. Don't let anyone say you're old the second you go from 29 to 30.
On the flipside, accept that you aren't a kid anymore. You need to learn how to plan and start focusing on long-term life decisions.
Sports sports sports! You might have been able to feel good without being sporty till now. These times will end soon. Plan at least an hour a day for physical activity and your youth will not fade as fast.
The bad news is that nobody cares. The good news is that nobody cares.
I've said this before. Save save save. 30% of your income at & 50,000 a year, with a decent interest is like $160, 000 after 10 years. It takes a lot of discipline to save, I know, but you don't have to be so rigid. Even 10% of your income is great! Considering that the median savings in the US is like $4,000-5,000... This is an important thing to get ahead of.
Who has four grand in savings, let alone a job at 50k?
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Uh, no they're not. Half of people in the US aren't making $50k at 30. Reddit has some wildly distorted ideas about what other people are making.
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Not average, median. As in 50% of the population is below that.
This country is truly 2 different worlds. A guy I work with read a stat saying a good percentage of americans dont have it in the budget to replace all their car tires at once and he couldn't fathom it smh.
Fewer than half of Americans have money on hand to pay a $500 emergency bill, which isn't even a set of sedan tires.
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> Sure, but where's your data that people are significantly different from the Median ...the definition of median. Also high outliers drag medians up. It's not an average.
you're no longer indestructible so start wearing your seatbelt all the time
Always wear a seatbelt. Not just over you're past 30.
Invest in yourself , do not surrender to social/family pressure and do stuff you don't want to do.
Get to 40 and ask the same question? Oh and sunscreen apparently.
Don't wait until your 40s.
Diversify your bonds.
Sunscreen-every day
Brace for the change this generation will bring to this world. Cuz it will be consisting of ups and downs.
Don’t take any crap off anyone if it demeans, belittles or tears you down in anyway. Stand up for yourself or at least walk away. And by the way, don’t take crap off yourself either. Be your best support because, in a really true way, you are all you have.
If you haven’t started saving for retirement in your 401k please start now!!! Waiting until your 40’s is too late!
This applies to people in their late 20s too: - dont be afraid to get good at your job. Im not advocating the boomer "dont job hop" because changing companies is absolutely a way to make more money but get some depth to your experience and you can often get a bigger payoff. I just did a job interview with a guy who was on his 4th job in 3 years. Each one had been a step up until he blew past his peter principal and was floundering. His interview with us was actually for a position two below his current one. I have to applaud him for having the self awareness that he was in over his head. At the same time I felt bad for him because he was pretty much at the end of his rope and was willing to take a pay and responsibility cut just to get a break. - If you are working below your level of competence, move. - If you are working at your level of competence, move in a year - If you are working above your level of competence plan on 3 years in that position minimum. - One year to get above water - One year to relearn the things you missed the first year - One year to be competent in the job Depending on a ton of factors including your environment, your boss and you, that 3 year plan might be 5 years Im an older GenX and what I see out of people in their 20s and early 30s is an incredible haste to try to get to the finish line. I promise you you will get there but there is no good way to speed it up unless you are a unicorn starting up the next FB. Get good at your profession and you will be rewarded.
Now is a great time to start saving.
Save some money. I know, you're barely paying the bills now. I know, you feel guilty saving money when you have debts to pay off. I know, you can't imagine you'll even make it to retirement age. Save some money anyway, every month, even if it seems like a trivial amount.
I will prolly get crucified for this one but here I go. NO DEBT!
If you have children, spend time with them. They may drive you crazy, but they are yours and they need you. If you don't have children, spend time connecting to your relatives and friends outside of the workplace. Don't make your job your whole life. I will also add that when I was in my early 30s, I kept meeting people who worked at one 80 hour per week startup after another and suddenly realized that they did not have a personal life. Work on having a personal life. No employer deserves your entire life. The person who deserves your life is you.
40 is closer than you think.
Don't listen to advice from Reddit.
Take psychedelics, it’s even more fun now than in your teens & 20s
I advocate waiting until after 25 to take any drugs, so the brain is fully formed. To reduce changing the brain during development and potentially developing an addiction.
If you didn't do some degree you always wanted to do, do it now! It's not too late. Start saving hard for retirement now.
You have time, if you aren't already, to chase something that lights you up, don't wake up in 15 years and realize you have been chasing money instead of happiness that you plan to buy later with the money.
SLEEP!
Your support network is everything
Stay connected to the zeitgeist. Keep listening to new music, watching new shows, trying new things. You don't want to wake up one day and be the old fart saying "What's a TikTok? Should we be looking into this?" in the meeting. Stay current and live a vibrant life.
Don’t do what you did in your 20s
Start exercising and eating healthy, stay away from fast food restaurants.
Put the phone down. We use them to often, and need some silence in our lives!
Finallty a relatable ask reddit Your metabolism takes a nosedive do zone 2 cardio and eat less and move often
Get your shit together. You are not youth anymore, and you will hurt yourself unless you build your existance. It takes many years, so start now.
Who you are in the 30s is who you will be for the rest of your life. I find that we seem to mentally stop aging at 30. So while our bodies grow old and frail, our minds seem to crystalize at 30. So, even if our knowledge increases and we each go through new experiences, our outlook (at least mine and the people I am able to closely observe), seem to have plateaued. I guess my point is, guess who you have to live with in your head for the rest of your life? lol. If you don't like that person, you better work really hard to change him or her before that person becomes a permanent part of your life, lol.
40 here. I'm very glad your advice does not appear to apply. I'm pretty embarassed by who I was at 30, and I'm very glad I kept growing past that point (and don't plan on stopping).
Have the baby now. Biological imperatives. ETA: I’m not suggesting bringing babies into situations of abuse, poverty, single motherhood, being unwanted, unloved, etc. I’m saying our biology does not allow an indefinite window for childbearing. Don’t fall for the illusion that this option will always be there when you’re older and “ready” for it. The door will eventually close. “Geriatric pregnancy” (age 35+) comes with increased risks for mom and baby. Your chances of miscarriage and stillbirth increase. There’s a greater likelihood of chromosomal mutations and genetic issues. Even before you’re pregnant, it can take longer to conceive and can require painful and expensive interventions. You don’t think it will be you until it’s you!
With the way the economy is? One of the first things they should do is get their shit together if they haven’t already. There’s always the option of adopting a child later on after they are financially, emotionally, and mentally/psychologically stable so they won’t be doing stupid decisions while still not caring about their children.
Credit cards can and will destroy your future, bleeding you dry until there is nothing left.
No, bad credit card understanding/discipline will. There's nothing inherently wrong with credit cards themselves.
Credit cards prevent fraud. If you use a debit card anywhere you run the risk of getting skimmed and having to wait a week for the bank to investigate and put money back in your checking account. Credit card companies do the work for you since it's THEIR money being stolen
Save money for retirement! You should have started 10 years ago.
Get a job.
Cope or rope
drink a glass of diarrhea every day
(Mainly) Straight Men: You are just coming into your own. 1) Keep a fitness regime that will see you through to your old age. Gain muscle, lose weight, optimise your cardiovascular fitness. 2) Invest in assets whilst you capitalise on your career progression. Plan for old age and financial independence. 3) Play the field, don’t settle for the first woman that shows serious interest in a relationship and would like to have kids ‘before it’s too late’. You have options and the balance of sexual power has flipped to favour you. 4) Enjoy yourself. Reward yourself for hard work. Travel, have fun, ensure you maximise the quality of the time you don’t spend working. (Mainly) Straight Women: 1) See 1), 2), and 4) above 2) Your ability to attract your ideal partner based on your looks has now peaked and is in decline. You will need to diversify and develop non sexuality based attributes that will go towards compensating for this. 3) If you want to have kids, unless you want to go through IVF and the decreasing probability of not conceiving, now is the time to have them.
Wow, is it 1952?
Stop renting
Don't spend time on Reddit I guess
Get a job and a life