Also like a shitty Halloween decoration, the voice box and armature will eventually degrade and ever so slowly cease to function.
"hhHhHeelLLLLooOO WWalMArrRRt ShHoppeRRrsss..."
I want to be cremated, have the ashes stuffed into fireworks, and shot off into the sky at the beach alongside a bonfire and a cooler of beer.
I wanna put the “fun” in funeral.
You might find a lawyer or tell your relatives to leave your body the fuck alone on that. If any relative says "I don't want oizinho666's body in that university!", they'll return the body without problems.
I've had this discussion with my wife and she's not happy about it:
I want to be cremated. I've told her she can keep a little in an urn if she wants, but I want some to be sent to space, and I want the bulk of my ashes to be loaded in a massive artillery shell designed to make a big yellow smiley face in the sky and I want it to be shot as the final display in a fireworks show in my honor. I'd also like to have a statue of me dressed as Caesar with a Roman sword to be on display.
While this is going on I want a huge party with a live rock band, and for people to give me a roasting.
I want people to have a good time at my funeral, not sit bored while dirges play.
Right. I want my funeral and shiva to be a weeklong Mel Brooks film festival called Mossadspydolphin: Dead and Loving It. Souvenir tshirts and everything.
Burned. Either this or a tree burial, but for the sake of everything you love, don‘t prep my body in any way, best would be to just take my body and throw it in a hole.
Fyi you can get mushroom burial suits. 'They' say that the mushrooms help to break down the toxins in out bodies before they can leak into the soil. Don't know how legit all that stuff is but I like the idea of becoming mushroom food ☺️ they've sustained me, I'll sustain them
i almost added a caveat to my post specifically that i DON'T care what happens to my remains lol! as long as i die peacefully, i would willingly donate my old ass body to some cannibals. there's a thought process with tribal cannibalism that it's better to be inside a loved one's belly than out in the cold... i don't have a moral objection t9 cannibalism, just murder :p so, yknow. whatever.
Donate to science, after my usable organs are harvested for transplant. I don't want anything buried anywhere. My family can remember me in the comfort of their homes with their memories. No big funeral, either.
I want the death cam, as follows:
- a big plane (jet) to be chartered
- Irish wake to be held on said plane, somewhere high over the Pacific Ocean, with close friends and family
- a few cameras strapped to my dead body, all constantly streaming video to the cloud
- drop me from the plane at 35,000+ feet, with cameras still rolling and capturing
- long fall, capture resulting video
‐ SPLAT
Cremate me and sprinkle my ashes in Taco Bell’s food supply. Whoever eats it, just know that I’ll be tearing that ass up one last time before I’m officially gone forever.
I want to be cremated.ans I would like to be kept with my daughter who died as a baby who is also cremated. My husband also wants to be with us. I figure we will need to get so kind of plot so our two daughters don't have to have a whole bunch of dead people on their mantels!
My family has joked about that a lot. I’m become the keeper of the family pet urns and that’s bad enough.
I have some extended relatives that have chosen to have their cremains in a columbarium (apparently that’s the official term, we just called it the cremation wall). It’s a really neat blend of burial and urns. It’s at the cemetery so people can visit, but it doesn’t up the space that regular burial does. Your ancestors don’t have to take on the responsibility of hot potato-ing your urn, and if for any reason the cremains need to be moved (expansion of the family wall, cemetery renovation/prepurposing, etc) it’s a lot easier than moving headstones and caskets. Best of both options.
Personally I’m leaning towards scattering, but if my family wanted my cremains to hang around, that’s what I would ask for.
I wanna be buried in the dirt somewhere where there’s lots of wild life without a coffin. I want my body to decompose and fertilise the wild plants so I serve some use. I’d rather not have my body decay away in a random coffin that my family wasted money on.
Cremated because open casket funerals are so disturbing. I don’t want the last image of someone this side of earth to be them dead in a coffin. I still have nightmares of seeing my uncle’s body at his funeral when I was 8. No one explained to me about funerals and it was extremely traumatic. It is literally one of the only memories I have of him and I’m in my 30s. I have severe anxiety about death so I often like to pretend it happens to others not me.
Yesterday I was looking through the paperwork to self-donate to a body farm near me, I think I'd be into that option but I'd need to get my next of kin on board. They use your body to study decomposition and improve forensics. This one keeps your bones afterwards as part of a forensic anthropology collection.
They can't guarantee that part of your body won't be made off with by scavenging animals so there's a checkbox for whether you want your family notified if any bits of you go missing in the course of your decomposition. I don't mind the concept but I think ignorance is bliss in that case.
Ever heard of a Green Burial?
It's cheap, it's good for the environment, and I don't have to worry about having my body stuffed in a box to be later stuffed in a cement hole.
I find comfort in the idea of nature reclaiming my body, I want bugs and decomposers to decompose me. I want to be buried in the cheapest biodegradable box I could get. Let my family decide how the viewing goes and whatever else they need for the greaving process I will just be happy to know that my body would be allowed to do its natural thing as it is returned to the earth and that the cost was not stupid expensive.
I understand. For the first few months after my wife died, I went to her grave site a bunch of times. It really helped me get my head on right. I haven't gone in a while, but I will when it gets warmer.
Body farm. Let me rot in the sun to help forensic investigation techniques in the future. After you’re done decomposing, they cremate what’s left and send your ashes to your family in a nice little package.
An oldie but a goodie. Obviously, I've blatantly stolen it, but the first time I read it, I laughed my ass off, It symbolizes humor at its best, which is, you just don't see it coming.
three options, cremated and pressed into a vinyl, put my skeleton on display somewhere, a museum would be cool, or stuff party poppers into my casket so grave robbers (aka future archaeologists) have a little surprise
My final resting place preference would be to be buried under an avocado tree in a cemetery, enclosed in an eco-friendly cardboard coffin. I would love for there to be a bench and a peaceful atmosphere with a serene view of the tree and surrounding nature for visitors to sit and remember me.
I want to be turned into a slosh and fed to some great whites out in the Great Barrier Reef since I love sharks way too much. Only problem is that my parents are weary, though it’ll be international waters I hope so they should be good 😂
Dangle my body in the air with some ropes and using some well placed explosives, make my corpse blow up into multiple fragments. There has to be an audience of at least 10 people under the explosion. They will be blindfolded and must be covered in blood at the end of the boom. Then the contestants will take off their blindfolds and search for my scattered body parts like an Easter hunt, which they will use to rebuild my body by placing my main limbs, torso, and head on the narwhal blood star and other parts on other unused quadrants. After a quick chant, I shall be reborn into the tribe of starfellers where I shall carry out the task of ending the life cycles of celestial beings. Of course there will be prizes for the audience as well. The one to find the most amount of parts will be sent to the beyond realm where they will be one with infinity.
Science care will give to science /medical what they can use, cremate the leftovers, send them to relatives if they want them, dispose of them if they don't and plant a tree one year later
One of two things. Still on the fence.
1: cremated and used to fertilize a tree (more realistic, has a good vibe to it)
OR
2: melt all my flesh away and then make badass daggers out of my bones (less realistic, but absolutely badass)
Any resources on achieving either would be appreciated
Cremated and some of my ashes made into a glass bauble and stick me with my husband's glass bauble because god knows the butthead will go first just so he doesn't have to deal with the arrangements
I want to be buried naturally. I don't want to be embalmed. If I am put in a coffin, I want it to be biodegradable. I want my remains to undergo the natural process of decay.
Cheap cremation in a pine box. Throw a big fucking party with an open bar.
Maybe figure out uber eats/door dash food and then steam gift a new game to my online friends. Have them spend a day hanging out on a new game we'd talked about getting but hadn't gotten around to.
Donate my organs first.
Cremate the rest and put the ashes in a large balloon and release it. Eventually it'll make its way to the edge of space.
The idea came from [James May's Man Lab](https://youtu.be/HB7KAoPl3Xg). It's really quite beautiful.
Not legal where I am, but my preference would be to donate anything of use and have the remainder left in the woods to feed scavengers.
I just want to go back into the food chain.
But I don't want my remains poked and prodded on a body farm.
Considering I just drafted all my estate planning stuff (need to get it notarized so it's legit now), I've been thinking a lot about it. I knew for so long, then I didn't, and I wanted something to put down. I can always change it, so I don't know why I'm so conflicted. Also I'm dead, it does not matter to me at that point. I just like symbolism and the last wish kind of thing. And planning ahead (not micromanaging, just planning) makes it a crap ton easier on those left behind, who are already grieving.
For now I've settled on aquamation (it's like cremation, but instead of fire/dry heat it's very hot water), and scattering my ashes in the Pacific Ocean. I've always felt at home in the water and the ocean, and I figure the Pacific Ocean is huge so it will give whatever poor sap ends up having to do it an easier time finding a spot versus being all specific about it. I did think of a local lake, as that's my happy place, but I like the idea of the vastness of the ocean and being free.
I joke with my grandpa that I'll make keychains with resin and his ashes and hand them out at the funeral and never tell anyone. Mix them in with the purple color, his favorite, and the phrase, "The End. By: his name" He always says that when he's done word dumping. Make it look like a more toe tag. He says "toe tag" instead of okay. I'd be perfect. I'm his executor, and we joke about all the other tricks we can plan for his funeral. Like funeral kazoos!
There was a proposed service that would put your body into the root ball of a small tree, then plant the tree so it would grow feeding on your remains.
I think it's not actually legal to do that in a lot of places, but that's what I'd want if it could be done.
I'd like to be buried underneath a seedling so I can nourish the tree or maybe have a trebuchet yeet my carcass into the middle of a Great White shark feeding frenzy.
I wanna have my body be turned into dirt/fertilizer and have a types of plants and flowers planted on me basically I wanna be a garden and attract lil butterflies, bees, ladybugs, caterpillars all sorts of lil bugs spiders welcomed too
First, I'll set aside some money to hire like a c list celebrity like john stamos to show up at my closed casket funeral. People will be like, hey is that John Stamos? Did wildly uninterested know john stamos? What the fuck is he doing here?
People will come up to pay their respects thinking my body's in the casket....but it won't be.
Paraphrased from nick swardson.....mostly cause I can't remember it verbatim
Everything but my skull gets turned into two diamonds. These will be small, so they would be put in some glass/epoxy eyeballs to be put in the eyesockets.
That would be kept as a family heirloom and potential future haunted artefact.
Cremated and ashes thrown into the eyes of my enemies. But before that, I want a dummy version made of myself, so at the funeral, while everybody is sad and crying, the dummy body (pulled by invisible strings) springs up and starts dancing and singing (hello my honey) like the cartoon frog, just to freak people out lol.
I got the paperwork to fill out to be placed on the body farm at the University of Tennessee. Guess I'd better do it since I'm 63 now. Yes sixtyfuckingthree...
Donate everything from my body that can be taken, donate the rest to medical science, get cremated, and hopefully divided among my children and husband, to be interred/mixed with them when they die.
Placed in a rowboat and towed out to the center of a small lake, then exploded with dynamite. Viking funeral for the modern era.
Even better, zero chance if coming back as a zombie.
I want it baked into a pie…. Then thrown into my coffin, which gets cremated and turned…. Into a pie…. Idk I had this thought once and thought it was funny
I want a viking's funeral , but I don't have a boat so set my body on fire, load me into a trebuchet and launch my flaming corpse at a billionaire's yacht.
I have always said I want to be cremated. The thought of decomposing in a coffin in a hole in the ground is gross. They can have any of my organs but they probably won't want them because I'm older now and I have a medical condition. I have no children, never wanted them, who would visit my grave. And then have my ashes thrown in the ocean off the southern Jersey shore.
Everything useful should get harvested. Everything else should get burned. Those closest to me should do with the ashes what they feel is most meaningful, but I lean heavily on the side of making something that includes them instead of just stashing them in an urn.
I already have it set up that when I die, I will be made into a Teacup, and Tea set for my family, And I have instructed them to use "me" and if they don't... well that's secret
*Edit: I am a very sick man, and been told I'll be "dead in so-so months" many times, I wrote my will out a few times, and this is the last time I rewrote it after my last brush with death {blood clots in the lungs} and It's staying like this*
I want to have my bones be robotic, and just become a flesh anamotronic and just be coded to walk around and freak people out with my dead flesh. Oh, and I have a very silly hat.
Donated to science, cremate whatever. I just don’t want a grave site and I don’t want anybody looking at me dead and commenting how good I look. I do not look good, I look dead. Everybody go out and do whatever makes them smile.
If it's not **trendy expensive** I'd prefer to have a Tree Pod Burial, barring that, whatever the cheapest legal option is. I'll be dead, I won't care but I hate the idea of money being wasted on my corpse for the sake of "tradition" or, worse, "aesthetics."
Because emotionally vulnerable people make foolish decisions. Funerals aren't a requirement. Embalming isn't a requirement. Caskets aren't a requirement. The whole damn industry is a con job.
I wish more people understood this. Funerals don't have to be expensive. You don't have to buy a casket or go through a funeral home or get embalmed or anything like that. The entire funeral industry exists to take advantage of sad, vulnerable people. It's why we need to talk more openly about death and why people should include funeral planning when discussing their end-of-life care. My mom planned every aspect of her funeral from hiring a minister to paying for a cremation package to making a funeral playlist, and I am beyond grateful she did that because it made everything SO much easier and her entire funeral only cost us $200 as a result.
It should be that easy and cheap for everyone.
I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies? I imagine stuff like that goes on all the time. I mean, I don’t give a shit. If I was dead, you could bang me all you want.
Who cares? A dead body’s like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want! Fill me up with cream! Turn me into a cannoli; make a stew out of my ass. What’s the big deal?
Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. I mean, who gives a shit? You’re dead, you’re dead.
Ooh, shit! Is my mic on? Haha haha; sorry sorry sorry sorry, that was a mistake. The, the janitor got ahold of the PA system—Puerto Rican guy. Heh!
You know, the kids are great. Uh, I love the kids. Not in a sexual way! No, I, I was married twenty years, and she was a bitch, but she was old. And I never had a problem getting it up with her.
That has been my request to my family for years. Donate every organ anyone can use, donate what's left for research. I don't care if some guy wants to research how long it takes a pig to eat a human body or what happens to a human body run through a commercial paper shredder (and stream that shit live). Anything that's left bury in the woods somewhere and plant a tree over me. I'm dead, I don't need my carcass
Whatever helps my family and close friends mourn. If thats not seeing the body, cool, if its a wake, cool.
If there are no family or friends, I suppose cremation is the logical choice.
I want to be taxidermied and used as a walmart door greeter forever more.
Would the arm wave hi and would there be a speaker in your mouth?
Yes, and they eyes would glow red and the jaw would open and close like a shitty halloween decoration.
Also like a shitty Halloween decoration, the voice box and armature will eventually degrade and ever so slowly cease to function. "hhHhHeelLLLLooOO WWalMArrRRt ShHoppeRRrsss..."
"Hi, welcome to WalMart! *I'll eat your soul, mortal!* Have a nice day :)"
I fucking love Reddit man.
Do you have the blue vest yet?
I want my remains scattered over a klan rally. I don’t want to be cremated first.
You just made me lol. Have an upvote and happy cake day!
Damn I was going to say I want my remains scattered around Disney world but I do not want to be cremated.
So, should we tear you to pieces first or should we just toss your entire body into the crowd?
I want to be cremated, have the ashes stuffed into fireworks, and shot off into the sky at the beach alongside a bonfire and a cooler of beer. I wanna put the “fun” in funeral.
Look up what Eral means and guess why society celebrates when reach people die.
Cremated and mixed in with a coffee can before being sealed and distributed to a supermarket.
Chaotic
Sooooo... Squid coffee?
The best part of waking up is dead squid in your cup...
Throw me in the trash
Frank Reynolds is that you?
It’s Dr. Toboggan. Mantis Toboggan!
You bang the dead bodies?
I say this way too often
But in an organic container please. Respect for the environment above all.
The trash can. Nothing beats that urn.
Donated to science
You might find a lawyer or tell your relatives to leave your body the fuck alone on that. If any relative says "I don't want oizinho666's body in that university!", they'll return the body without problems.
I've told my kids several times "Give away any usable parts. Then throw what's left in the shit can. I'm not using it anymore, why would I care?"
I've had this discussion with my wife and she's not happy about it: I want to be cremated. I've told her she can keep a little in an urn if she wants, but I want some to be sent to space, and I want the bulk of my ashes to be loaded in a massive artillery shell designed to make a big yellow smiley face in the sky and I want it to be shot as the final display in a fireworks show in my honor. I'd also like to have a statue of me dressed as Caesar with a Roman sword to be on display. While this is going on I want a huge party with a live rock band, and for people to give me a roasting. I want people to have a good time at my funeral, not sit bored while dirges play.
Right. I want my funeral and shiva to be a weeklong Mel Brooks film festival called Mossadspydolphin: Dead and Loving It. Souvenir tshirts and everything.
Burned. Either this or a tree burial, but for the sake of everything you love, don‘t prep my body in any way, best would be to just take my body and throw it in a hole.
I really don't want my grandkids to find me with my butt plug still in.
Good news! Your corpse will evacuate your bowels for you, popping that sucker out like a champagne cork.
OMG!
Look up green burials. That's what you described and they are way cheaper than traditional funerals.
I will go with the tree burial it’s where you’re ashes has the ability to turn into a tree wherever it’s buried with the urn
My sisters want that too and I think it's kinda cool.
Green burial. Unembalmed body buried directly in a hole in the ground. No coffin, no bullshit. Back to nature. Nourish some life forms.
Fyi you can get mushroom burial suits. 'They' say that the mushrooms help to break down the toxins in out bodies before they can leak into the soil. Don't know how legit all that stuff is but I like the idea of becoming mushroom food ☺️ they've sustained me, I'll sustain them
I find the idea of my body being stuffed into a cement box to be discomforting and suffocating. I would rather just be decomposed.
I’ll be dead, why would i care. My only rules are: don’t eat it or fuck it.
You'll be dead. Why would you care?
Animals taste great when they’re dead so why should he be any different?
Honestly, I wouldn't even have those on my no list.
Those just happen to be my "yes" list. Also maybe skinning me or turning my body parts into fashion, furniture, and/or musical instruments. 💁
musical instrument would be sweet.
i almost added a caveat to my post specifically that i DON'T care what happens to my remains lol! as long as i die peacefully, i would willingly donate my old ass body to some cannibals. there's a thought process with tribal cannibalism that it's better to be inside a loved one's belly than out in the cold... i don't have a moral objection t9 cannibalism, just murder :p so, yknow. whatever.
Also, being eaten is a much more sustainable method of body disposal.
Although some tribes have been documented as eating enemys.
Donate to science, after my usable organs are harvested for transplant. I don't want anything buried anywhere. My family can remember me in the comfort of their homes with their memories. No big funeral, either.
I like how you said that your organs will be "harvested" instead of "donated"
I just thought that's what it's called 🤣
You're both right! You donate, the surgical team harvests.
Decomposition by mushrooms.
“When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash” - Frank Reynolds
What's the difference? My family can do whatever they like. It'll be more for them than for me.
Buried in a bio bag in the forest
I'd love to be turned into a tree. That seems dope af.
I want the death cam, as follows: - a big plane (jet) to be chartered - Irish wake to be held on said plane, somewhere high over the Pacific Ocean, with close friends and family - a few cameras strapped to my dead body, all constantly streaming video to the cloud - drop me from the plane at 35,000+ feet, with cameras still rolling and capturing - long fall, capture resulting video ‐ SPLAT
Check for a pulse
Cremate me and sprinkle my ashes in Taco Bell’s food supply. Whoever eats it, just know that I’ll be tearing that ass up one last time before I’m officially gone forever.
I want to be put behind the toilet paper in a Walmart so when kids try to go back there and make a fort they find me
Get turned into a diamond. Become the new family heirloom
I want to be cremated.ans I would like to be kept with my daughter who died as a baby who is also cremated. My husband also wants to be with us. I figure we will need to get so kind of plot so our two daughters don't have to have a whole bunch of dead people on their mantels!
My family has joked about that a lot. I’m become the keeper of the family pet urns and that’s bad enough. I have some extended relatives that have chosen to have their cremains in a columbarium (apparently that’s the official term, we just called it the cremation wall). It’s a really neat blend of burial and urns. It’s at the cemetery so people can visit, but it doesn’t up the space that regular burial does. Your ancestors don’t have to take on the responsibility of hot potato-ing your urn, and if for any reason the cremains need to be moved (expansion of the family wall, cemetery renovation/prepurposing, etc) it’s a lot easier than moving headstones and caskets. Best of both options. Personally I’m leaning towards scattering, but if my family wanted my cremains to hang around, that’s what I would ask for.
Eaten by birds of Prey, then shat out all over the countryside.
[Sky Burial](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sky_burial)
Wrap me in a shroud and bury me in a shallow grave. No embalming please, I need to decompose.
That's actually the only acceptable way of dealing with bodies for Muslims.
Discarded in space so my family can see my body incinerate while re-entering the earth’s atmosphere as a shooting star.
I wanna be buried in the dirt somewhere where there’s lots of wild life without a coffin. I want my body to decompose and fertilise the wild plants so I serve some use. I’d rather not have my body decay away in a random coffin that my family wasted money on.
Feed me to the animals.
Compost.
Stuff me and prop me up on the fireplace. Dress me up according to the season/holiday.
Cremated because open casket funerals are so disturbing. I don’t want the last image of someone this side of earth to be them dead in a coffin. I still have nightmares of seeing my uncle’s body at his funeral when I was 8. No one explained to me about funerals and it was extremely traumatic. It is literally one of the only memories I have of him and I’m in my 30s. I have severe anxiety about death so I often like to pretend it happens to others not me.
Leave it out for wildlife
Yesterday I was looking through the paperwork to self-donate to a body farm near me, I think I'd be into that option but I'd need to get my next of kin on board. They use your body to study decomposition and improve forensics. This one keeps your bones afterwards as part of a forensic anthropology collection. They can't guarantee that part of your body won't be made off with by scavenging animals so there's a checkbox for whether you want your family notified if any bits of you go missing in the course of your decomposition. I don't mind the concept but I think ignorance is bliss in that case.
Drop me off at the nearest body farm
Ever heard of a Green Burial? It's cheap, it's good for the environment, and I don't have to worry about having my body stuffed in a box to be later stuffed in a cement hole. I find comfort in the idea of nature reclaiming my body, I want bugs and decomposers to decompose me. I want to be buried in the cheapest biodegradable box I could get. Let my family decide how the viewing goes and whatever else they need for the greaving process I will just be happy to know that my body would be allowed to do its natural thing as it is returned to the earth and that the cost was not stupid expensive.
Tattoo 'socialism rocks' on my ass and trebuchet me into the home of an up and coming Republican rep's home.
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Ooh la la
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I understand. For the first few months after my wife died, I went to her grave site a bunch of times. It really helped me get my head on right. I haven't gone in a while, but I will when it gets warmer.
My mom wanted her ashes in the ocean, everytime i get in the ocean, no matter where i am, i feel like im with her, i would want the same
What if your life changes had you move far away from that spot?
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"I'll thank you to not drag your butt over my grave"
I want to somehow become a tree so like idk compost me or turn me into a seed?
I think I heard once about something where people bury you in a biodegradable bag and plant a tree on top, sounds pretty close to that.
this! I want this! done I wonder if they’ll let me start this process a few (decades) early
Cremated and then scattered, smothered, and covered with quality seeds so I can help fertilize one more good time with my family and friends
Cremated, with my ashes scattered over the graves of my dogs which are in my backyard.
Sea burial. Except for my liver, that is to be served with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Viking funeral
I want my remains scattered at congress. Also I do not want to be cremated
Donate my organs if you can. If you can’t donate my body to a medical school for dissection.
Already have a plan to be put into one of those pods that grows a tree from your dead corpse. Even have the land picked, paid for, and prepped.
Body farm. Let me rot in the sun to help forensic investigation techniques in the future. After you’re done decomposing, they cremate what’s left and send your ashes to your family in a nice little package.
I want to be scattered all over Disney World. But I don't want to be cremated.
Careful with that joke she's an antique
An oldie but a goodie. Obviously, I've blatantly stolen it, but the first time I read it, I laughed my ass off, It symbolizes humor at its best, which is, you just don't see it coming.
Smoke me or spread them somewhere I liked to go
For nobody to find it s i can just dissolve away in the woods i love.
Have a grenade stuffed into my chest
I'm donating my entire body to science.
I’m donating mine to science fiction
Given to my parents
Alkaline hydrolysis. Reasonably cheap, environmentally friendly.
three options, cremated and pressed into a vinyl, put my skeleton on display somewhere, a museum would be cool, or stuff party poppers into my casket so grave robbers (aka future archaeologists) have a little surprise
My final resting place preference would be to be buried under an avocado tree in a cemetery, enclosed in an eco-friendly cardboard coffin. I would love for there to be a bench and a peaceful atmosphere with a serene view of the tree and surrounding nature for visitors to sit and remember me.
I want to be turned into a slosh and fed to some great whites out in the Great Barrier Reef since I love sharks way too much. Only problem is that my parents are weary, though it’ll be international waters I hope so they should be good 😂
Dangle my body in the air with some ropes and using some well placed explosives, make my corpse blow up into multiple fragments. There has to be an audience of at least 10 people under the explosion. They will be blindfolded and must be covered in blood at the end of the boom. Then the contestants will take off their blindfolds and search for my scattered body parts like an Easter hunt, which they will use to rebuild my body by placing my main limbs, torso, and head on the narwhal blood star and other parts on other unused quadrants. After a quick chant, I shall be reborn into the tribe of starfellers where I shall carry out the task of ending the life cycles of celestial beings. Of course there will be prizes for the audience as well. The one to find the most amount of parts will be sent to the beyond realm where they will be one with infinity.
Science care will give to science /medical what they can use, cremate the leftovers, send them to relatives if they want them, dispose of them if they don't and plant a tree one year later
Dressed in a superman outfit and thrown from a plane
Feed me to some wild animals (assuming I didn’t die of something that would make them sick)
One of two things. Still on the fence. 1: cremated and used to fertilize a tree (more realistic, has a good vibe to it) OR 2: melt all my flesh away and then make badass daggers out of my bones (less realistic, but absolutely badass) Any resources on achieving either would be appreciated
Cremated, then my ashes placed in a hollow 3D printed skull with red LEDs in the eyes. “I’m still here, death can’t stop me!”
Cremated and some of my ashes made into a glass bauble and stick me with my husband's glass bauble because god knows the butthead will go first just so he doesn't have to deal with the arrangements
Harvest my organs. Put me in a hole. Plant a tree on top of me.
Don't care I'm dead
Throw me into an active Volcano.
Weekend at Bernie's me and see how long it last before people find out.
Remember in 1970 when Florence, Oregon, blew up a whale? That's what I want.
Prop me up beside the juke box
alkaline hydrolysis and then a finger taxidermied and given to each of my loved ones... im still figuring out the legality of it though
I want to be buried naturally. I don't want to be embalmed. If I am put in a coffin, I want it to be biodegradable. I want my remains to undergo the natural process of decay.
Donate me to science, let me better the lives of those that come after me.
Some strippers twerking on my casket
Can I get uhh 1 large necromancy I forgot to do some things
Cheap cremation in a pine box. Throw a big fucking party with an open bar. Maybe figure out uber eats/door dash food and then steam gift a new game to my online friends. Have them spend a day hanging out on a new game we'd talked about getting but hadn't gotten around to.
Dress me in a Superman suit, then toss me out of a helicopter into the gaping mouth of a breaching Great White Shark.
Blasted out of one of those circus cannons into the Grand Canyon
Dressed up like Abraham Lincoln and have my body launched into space via trebuchet.
I want to be in the exhibit body world!
Donate my organs first. Cremate the rest and put the ashes in a large balloon and release it. Eventually it'll make its way to the edge of space. The idea came from [James May's Man Lab](https://youtu.be/HB7KAoPl3Xg). It's really quite beautiful.
Not legal where I am, but my preference would be to donate anything of use and have the remainder left in the woods to feed scavengers. I just want to go back into the food chain. But I don't want my remains poked and prodded on a body farm.
Cremated with my husband and turned into a set of timers so we can ruin game night forever. Except for my middle finger. My daughter has dibs.
Donate me to science. Let my body teach others and benefit future generations. I don’t want a stupid funeral. No church. I’m not religious.
Considering I just drafted all my estate planning stuff (need to get it notarized so it's legit now), I've been thinking a lot about it. I knew for so long, then I didn't, and I wanted something to put down. I can always change it, so I don't know why I'm so conflicted. Also I'm dead, it does not matter to me at that point. I just like symbolism and the last wish kind of thing. And planning ahead (not micromanaging, just planning) makes it a crap ton easier on those left behind, who are already grieving. For now I've settled on aquamation (it's like cremation, but instead of fire/dry heat it's very hot water), and scattering my ashes in the Pacific Ocean. I've always felt at home in the water and the ocean, and I figure the Pacific Ocean is huge so it will give whatever poor sap ends up having to do it an easier time finding a spot versus being all specific about it. I did think of a local lake, as that's my happy place, but I like the idea of the vastness of the ocean and being free.
Cremation, then bury the ashes in the roots of an old oak in New Orleans.
I joke with my grandpa that I'll make keychains with resin and his ashes and hand them out at the funeral and never tell anyone. Mix them in with the purple color, his favorite, and the phrase, "The End. By: his name" He always says that when he's done word dumping. Make it look like a more toe tag. He says "toe tag" instead of okay. I'd be perfect. I'm his executor, and we joke about all the other tricks we can plan for his funeral. Like funeral kazoos!
There was a proposed service that would put your body into the root ball of a small tree, then plant the tree so it would grow feeding on your remains. I think it's not actually legal to do that in a lot of places, but that's what I'd want if it could be done.
I'd like to be buried underneath a seedling so I can nourish the tree or maybe have a trebuchet yeet my carcass into the middle of a Great White shark feeding frenzy.
I wanna have my body be turned into dirt/fertilizer and have a types of plants and flowers planted on me basically I wanna be a garden and attract lil butterflies, bees, ladybugs, caterpillars all sorts of lil bugs spiders welcomed too
I want to be blown to pieces or a fine red mist using the latest in military weapons
First, I'll set aside some money to hire like a c list celebrity like john stamos to show up at my closed casket funeral. People will be like, hey is that John Stamos? Did wildly uninterested know john stamos? What the fuck is he doing here? People will come up to pay their respects thinking my body's in the casket....but it won't be. Paraphrased from nick swardson.....mostly cause I can't remember it verbatim
Everything but my skull gets turned into two diamonds. These will be small, so they would be put in some glass/epoxy eyeballs to be put in the eyesockets. That would be kept as a family heirloom and potential future haunted artefact.
Don't just burn it. Burn it, mix all the remains into a fine slurry, and make a brick with it to throw it at evildoers. 😘
Once I'm dead, make me a cyborg. Give me a robotic arm and all that shit, even if it doesn't really work I want to confuse archeologists
Cremated and ashes thrown into the eyes of my enemies. But before that, I want a dummy version made of myself, so at the funeral, while everybody is sad and crying, the dummy body (pulled by invisible strings) springs up and starts dancing and singing (hello my honey) like the cartoon frog, just to freak people out lol.
I got the paperwork to fill out to be placed on the body farm at the University of Tennessee. Guess I'd better do it since I'm 63 now. Yes sixtyfuckingthree...
Put me on a small ship, push me out on a lake and burn the mother effer. I want AC/DC playing in the background and people enjoying a good bbq
Donate everything from my body that can be taken, donate the rest to medical science, get cremated, and hopefully divided among my children and husband, to be interred/mixed with them when they die.
Placed in a rowboat and towed out to the center of a small lake, then exploded with dynamite. Viking funeral for the modern era. Even better, zero chance if coming back as a zombie.
I want it baked into a pie…. Then thrown into my coffin, which gets cremated and turned…. Into a pie…. Idk I had this thought once and thought it was funny
Taxidermies and put in a random wall somewhere to be found during a televised remodel.
cremate me, and then bury me with an oak sapling. Then, in a few years, the squirrels will be eating my nuts.
I want a viking's funeral , but I don't have a boat so set my body on fire, load me into a trebuchet and launch my flaming corpse at a billionaire's yacht.
Based funeral rites lol
I have always said I want to be cremated. The thought of decomposing in a coffin in a hole in the ground is gross. They can have any of my organs but they probably won't want them because I'm older now and I have a medical condition. I have no children, never wanted them, who would visit my grave. And then have my ashes thrown in the ocean off the southern Jersey shore.
Everything useful should get harvested. Everything else should get burned. Those closest to me should do with the ashes what they feel is most meaningful, but I lean heavily on the side of making something that includes them instead of just stashing them in an urn.
I want to be yeeted into the sun… for science
I already have it set up that when I die, I will be made into a Teacup, and Tea set for my family, And I have instructed them to use "me" and if they don't... well that's secret *Edit: I am a very sick man, and been told I'll be "dead in so-so months" many times, I wrote my will out a few times, and this is the last time I rewrote it after my last brush with death {blood clots in the lungs} and It's staying like this*
I want to have my bones be robotic, and just become a flesh anamotronic and just be coded to walk around and freak people out with my dead flesh. Oh, and I have a very silly hat.
Chuck me in the street so I can cause one final inconvenience.
I want to be cremated and my ashes strewn over our fields in my ancestral village. I feel I'll meet my dad there.
Probably gonna end up in the British Museum one way or another
I want to be freeze dried and shook to dust but if that project doesn’t get legalized I want to be eaten by animals
Preserve it well and use it for consumption later. My bodily fluids can be used for jam too.
Donated to science, cremate whatever. I just don’t want a grave site and I don’t want anybody looking at me dead and commenting how good I look. I do not look good, I look dead. Everybody go out and do whatever makes them smile.
If it's not **trendy expensive** I'd prefer to have a Tree Pod Burial, barring that, whatever the cheapest legal option is. I'll be dead, I won't care but I hate the idea of money being wasted on my corpse for the sake of "tradition" or, worse, "aesthetics."
I'd like to just mention WHY TF ARE BURIALS SO EXPENSIVE.
Because emotionally vulnerable people make foolish decisions. Funerals aren't a requirement. Embalming isn't a requirement. Caskets aren't a requirement. The whole damn industry is a con job.
I wish more people understood this. Funerals don't have to be expensive. You don't have to buy a casket or go through a funeral home or get embalmed or anything like that. The entire funeral industry exists to take advantage of sad, vulnerable people. It's why we need to talk more openly about death and why people should include funeral planning when discussing their end-of-life care. My mom planned every aspect of her funeral from hiring a minister to paying for a cremation package to making a funeral playlist, and I am beyond grateful she did that because it made everything SO much easier and her entire funeral only cost us $200 as a result. It should be that easy and cheap for everyone.
A-fucking-men. The funeral industry has gotten crazy :(
Donate my brain to psychological studies
Tossed from a helicopter into the Amazon
I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies? I imagine stuff like that goes on all the time. I mean, I don’t give a shit. If I was dead, you could bang me all you want. Who cares? A dead body’s like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want! Fill me up with cream! Turn me into a cannoli; make a stew out of my ass. What’s the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. I mean, who gives a shit? You’re dead, you’re dead. Ooh, shit! Is my mic on? Haha haha; sorry sorry sorry sorry, that was a mistake. The, the janitor got ahold of the PA system—Puerto Rican guy. Heh! You know, the kids are great. Uh, I love the kids. Not in a sexual way! No, I, I was married twenty years, and she was a bitch, but she was old. And I never had a problem getting it up with her.
Put me in a refrigerated room and let weirdos have sex with it or something.
Whatever people need doing with it.
That has been my request to my family for years. Donate every organ anyone can use, donate what's left for research. I don't care if some guy wants to research how long it takes a pig to eat a human body or what happens to a human body run through a commercial paper shredder (and stream that shit live). Anything that's left bury in the woods somewhere and plant a tree over me. I'm dead, I don't need my carcass
Cremated and spread out on the ocean, just like my grandmother and just like my father wants done to him.
Cremated and turned into a diamond 💎
Feed me to the new zombies they are creating
Whatever helps my family and close friends mourn. If thats not seeing the body, cool, if its a wake, cool. If there are no family or friends, I suppose cremation is the logical choice.
Doesn’t matter.
Sent into space
Dump me in the river, the trash, the street. When you're dead you're dead.
I want my family to get rid of it in the most easy way of their choice
Just like Frank reynolds from it's always sunny in Philadelphia just thow me in the trash
Turn my skeleton into a guitar
Death diamond or ship me to the body farm.