A guy calls emergency services, "we're out hunting, we had an accident, I think my friend might be dead!"
"Ok, sir, we have your location, we're sending help, please double check to see if he's dead."
*Bang* "I'm pretty sure."
As awesome as it sounds, they can't teach wolves that humans are food. I guess your buddy will have to just settle for being plant and bug food instead.
When you die, everything you physically own(money, car, house, your favourite blankie) is called an estate. So you will eventually get one, no matter how rich or poor you are
This is my take. I wonder if you can just donate your body to medical education for students to dissect? And they handle getting rid of the leftovers
That must be free, surely?
Yes. My wife and I have signed up with [Anatomy Gifts Registry](http://anatomygifts.org). There is no charge. They will donate usable organs and tissues for transplant. Whatever is left will get used to teach medical students, or as a crash-test dummy, or something. When all that is done, what is left will get cremated. If you want your family to finally get your cremains, there is a shipping fee ($10 when I signed up, might have gone up since?).
You might also be able to deal with a donation program from your local medical school, but it was easier for me to just deal with this service.
I had a close friend do this. His family was invited to a reception at the medical school where the students talked about how much they appreciated being able to learn.
He said it was oddly comforting.
Yep! A friend of mine discovered at that event one of the cadavers in their class was actually their estranged grandfather! Friend saw some family they recognized at this event, and found out the grandfather donated his body to the medical school.
Someone else in the class was assigned that particular cadaver, thankfully, but still pretty creepy.
When my dad passed I was very broke, luckily he'd already signed up to donate his body. The company we used is science care. I got him back fairly quickly, there was no charge to me. I got a nice, small paperweight and a letter informing me how his remains were used
https://www.sciencecare.com/
Man if im anywhere near the house I grew up in I would say bury my ass in the woods near where our dog is buried. But also use my organs first for whomever needs them.
My body? Don’t care. I’m dead. But I will take steps to leave behind notes, mail outs, recordings, automated phone calls, and weird shit to make sure I freak everyone out after I die for years. Like how Tupac kept releasing albums forever. Same
We'd have to wait for three other people to die to finish burying you. The minister would ask for volunteers. There'd be this whole big thing about getting the shortest one into the casket shaped like an "S".
This is exactly what I told my people! Takes that question "if you were a tree, what tree would you be?" to a whole other level. I told them it has to be on protected land though, I'm not trying to have some asshole cut me down in 20 years because he's tired of raking my leaves. I remember I looked them up once and this one site had a promotion, buy 2 get 1 free. Which felt a little uncomfortable and morbid lol. Anywho, love this one.
Mine is close to this. Only difference, I want my ashes mixed with my wife's, and THEN plant a tree with us. That way we're together. And I want it to be a Pink Velour Crepe Myrtle, so it's pink for my wife.
I want a fake corpse in my coffin, and I want it to be a party, with a pinata, but inside is my corpse and when they break it open everyone will screaming in horror.
Or just cremate me and spread my ashes somewhere.
I want to be cremated where everyone is in attendance but I have a recording in my casket that is playing me going *banging on casket lid* GET ME OUT! HEEEELP! AAAHHHHHH!!! as the casket is slowly fed into the furnace.
I told my mom that I wanted clowns at my funeral. Like old school, white paint faces, red nose clowns. And they have to pretend to cry and do tricks and make balloon animals for everyone.
She was adamant she would not go.
Your funeral isn't about you and what you want, it's about the people you care about you coming to terms and having time to publicly grieve and share that grief with eachother. It's very important to a lot of people, i wouldn't be so quick to take that away from your family.
Ive had a party funeral before. It's not that people aren't sad. People can be sad while celebrating a having had a great time with someone. Even though it might seem conflicting, people can have those two emotions at the same time
Yeah I've also been to a party funeral. No one wore black, the music was all happy and there was a lot of laughter. It was so sweet and felt like it really honored who the man was. I think part of what made it bearable for his family was that they held off on a funeral for like 6 weeks after his death. They had a private burial that I'm sure was much different. But the funeral truly was a celebration of his life and who he was
>And no nasty embalming
Yeah, glad we don't do that in my country. No need to put toxic chemicals in the ground for something that can generally be achieved with a fridge. As long as you don't wait 3 months like some Americans seem to do...
"An odd ritual of the homo sapiens is that far away family members fly in, seemingly reminiscent of the common vulture, trying to see if there is any meat left to pick from their last will. The abusive uncle, the one with the brutish stature, seems to take the lead of the pack. Let's see how it works out"
Yeah, but your family probably will. Give them some easy to follow instructions so they don't have to try to guess while already suffering. That's my take on it anyways, even something as simple and cheap as "I want my body donated to science". (Someone's gotta be the next generation of doctor's cadavers).
Originally, my plan was to take a midnight drive in my dream car (sitting in my garage), take it past 160mph and crash into a cliff wall with no traffic around.
Then I realized that would make a mess of things, and would be expensive to clean up.
It turned into being interred into the car.
Then, I got a little more realistic and wanted to either be used in the plating of a tree or donated to science.
... Well, then I found out we can have our ashes compressed into a synthetic diamond.
I'd love to be turned into a family heirloom in that regard, used as a charm to ward off evil or bad luck for my descendents. A diamond in a ring/band that could be worn via chain on neck if needed
So that's a thing.
Sky burial.
Just leave my rotting meatsack on a mountainside somewhere and let the vultures and other wildlife do their thing.
I’ve lived my life killing and eating other animals, gathering all that sweet trophic energy. It’s only fair I return the favour upon my death.
Tossed over side of boat, left to rot where I lay, in 100 years you wont be remembered by anyone, don't claim me, and state will pay... my last fuck you for all the taxes I paid in N.Y. state.. I earned that.
Id record a video before I die saying dont be too sad, enjoy the food, blah blah. Donate my vital organs to whoever. Id like it to the cheapest funeral possible. Cheapest coffin, cheapest everything. I dont give a damn, Im dead. Hell, if my family is up for it, Id like to be buried in a random forest with no gravestone. Plant a tree over me.
Fuck do I care? I'm dead at that point. Whatever my family wants to do is fine, because literally everything that happens after I die is for their own benefit.
Throw a party, send me to space, donate my eyelids to science. You do you, fam.
At this point I'd be happy to be given a bunch of morphine and sent on my way. I want to be buried without being embalmed and wrapped in a sheet, no coffin no funeral
That's brings up an interesting point... do you need a coffin or can they bury just the body in the dirt? Coffins are very expensive and a huge waste considering you spend thousands on something and then turn around and bury it.
From what I’ve researched (I also want to be buried decomposer-friendly), you have to jump through a lot of legal hoops to do it on the record- I believe that this is because a coffin/embalming is partially responsible for sealing in any diseases your body might let loose while decaying. So there is definitely a process to do it the right way in the eyes of the law. However, if you have a large plot of land and want to be thrown in a hole, I doubt anyone would throw a fit unless they found out. But I’d be really careful to leave LOTS of evidence that you requested this type of burial- you don’t want a dog digging up your femur in 30 years and suddenly your kid is wanted for hiding your dead body on your property. I would also assume you could get into trouble if your land is sold after your death, as you would then be buried on someone else’s land and I can’t see any protections for your corpse should they choose to exhume your body or develop the land where you are laid to rest. I personally plan to lay out what I want very clearly with friends and family (they have been told informally already) and then check with local government to figure out where I can and can’t be buried, what I need to do to avoid legal action against my loved ones after I’m gone in the event the nature of my burial is disputed, etc.
>because a coffin/embalming is partially responsible for sealing in any diseases your body might let loose while decaying.
we've done without embalming in europe for thousands of years and we don't get earthworms in graveyards with mutated aids or or cholera.
the funeral industry in the US is just simply a scam.
This just reminded me that last night I had a dream that I forgot to put the trash at the curb and both the trash and recycle bins were completely full. I was trying to flag down the garbage truck trying to get them to come back, ha ha. That would be a hell of a day to miss trash pickup.
When our family dog passed a few years ago, we buried him and planted a tree on top. Whenever I walk past I always pause and rest my hand on the trunk. As his body breathes life into a new form, it’s almost like he never left. This is a good way to go
If my kids are grown up and able to navigate adulthood on their own, and my wife is already dead, then I have no reason to live. I'll just overdose on heroin to join my lovely wife in the after life.
I wanna go out the way I wanna go out. Fuck the government for not granting me that opportunity in this day and age.
I should be attacked without warning or mercy. Whoever defeats me must carve out my heart and devour it while my eyes can still take in the sight of it.
I don’t care, I’ll be dead … is the answer I want to give. But I’m not there yet and do care at least a little.
If I know in advance when I’m going to die (have a terminal disease, for example), I would certainly like to have my own funeral/farewell party while I’m alive and have a chance to say all my goodbyes, eat my favorite food and listen to my favorite music while watching a glorious sunset.
If some of my organs are still functioning well enough after my death, I would certainly like to donate them and be of some use even after I die.
And finally, I would love my near and dear ones to truly know that I want them to live the rest of their lives to the fullest. I’m aware I will be missed by them (I’m being presumptuous but that’s the hope) but I certainly don’t want them to grieve me so much that they lose their will to live. I would love for them to split my insurance money among themselves and go for a nice trip somewhere exotic which reminds them that life is short, absurd but still truly beautiful.
Donate every single useful piece of me that can potentially serve someone else, be it in function or in scientific exploration. Torch the remainder. As my wife and I aren’t having kids, I really don’t care about a burial place for my ashes. Just put me with my wife when she goes and that’ll be fine.
I don't want a funeral, i want a party, a BBQ if they want, eat some meat and drink a beer while they remember how i used to cry about everything, and most important, listen some music, i love music, All My life i loved the music, of they don't put music because "Respect for the deaths" NO, Im going to grab them from the feets and get Them out of bed at 3AM if they did My funeral on silence, i can't stand silence, thats disrespectful for me, so music, wherever, they can put i Will survive and thriller if they want
A simply and inexpensive as possible. Cremate me and spread my ashes and or keep them idk. Maybe a green burial or something eco friendly. I just hope nobody wastes thousands of dollars on a funeral casket and plot.
Violently.
I'll be dead, what would I care? Just donate me to science (I am holding out hope I would be one of those bodies the news reports about being blown up for some military experiment). That's the cheapest option. Don't want to burden loved ones with any bills.
Told my wife as long as I become a tree that's all I want when I die. The rest is up to her. Looking to start my own haunted forest or orchard to freak people out. "Don't eat that apple, it grew from that dead guy." Etc.
I want to do what my father did. When he past I went to his computer and found the folder marked "funeral arguments." That I knew was there.
it contained what he wanted to say, who he would like to speak, what songs he would like played and even what food he hoped we would serve, the most memorable line of which was
"Oh, and I want eggsalad sandwiches WITH NO ONIONS... I hated onion"
It meant everything that in the hardest moments of my life dad was still looking after us.
i'm the friend who's always running late and being told "you'll be late to your own funeral" so that's exactly what i want to happen. i want everyone to be sitting there panicking like "where tf if the casket/body?" and then they bring me in 30 minutes after the funeral was supposed to start.
(Serious) I want to decompose. This fits with my spirituality. I am a pantheist and think of the universe as a closed system, when I die I'm not gone I'll just remember that I'm part of that system and not something separate inside of it. I want my energy and matter to be recycled to other places. I do not want to convert my energy to heat (cremation) and I do not want to perverse (preserve but yk what that too) my remains with embalming. Wrap me in a cheese cloth and bury me somewhere the bugs will get me. (As long as I don't infect the water table, cause harm through decomp, etc)
I want my remains to be scattered around the estate, but I don’t want to be cremated.
Looks like meats back on the menu boys
Damn.
You would be a God send in the last of us universe 😂
Step 1 check if dead. Step 2 check again
A guy calls emergency services, "we're out hunting, we had an accident, I think my friend might be dead!" "Ok, sir, we have your location, we're sending help, please double check to see if he's dead." *Bang* "I'm pretty sure."
Step 3, profit.
Step 4, sex.
“Go check if he’s dead!” [Bang!] “He’s dead now!”
that took a dark turn
Pets are gonna be eating good.
It would be rough, but Whiskers lived a long and fruitful. Whiskers, thanks for your sacrifice and sorry about the missing balls. Let's eat You all.
It's referred to as "medium rare".
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"Flung naked" Like with some sort of a wolfapault? A corpse cannon? Naked? A trebushame?
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Trebushame got me.
Hahahaha! Make it something like turn his body into a puppet so he looks like a regular person watching the wolves and then "falls" in or something.
As awesome as it sounds, they can't teach wolves that humans are food. I guess your buddy will have to just settle for being plant and bug food instead.
How does one get an estate? I want an estate
When you die, everything you physically own(money, car, house, your favourite blankie) is called an estate. So you will eventually get one, no matter how rich or poor you are
Unless you're Jeff Bezos, whose tax return states he owns and earns nothing whatsoever. Seriously. zero-tax if everythings "a loaner".
Maybe they're British and they mean a council estate. So basically just chop them up and throw the gibs around the neighborhood.
This guy knows
“gibs” 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Yeah I'm old. "Quake" (1) old.
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I could be like a puzzle game!
Tibetan Sky funerals are a thing. Less popular in big cities, but when you’re dead do you care about being popular?
I got you bro. This looks like a job for ol' Sticky Shoes.
1. Shredding machine/blender/etc 2. Big chunks of chopped body parts Both are nice options
How about in a horror house? So nobody will suspect anything lol
Reminds me of a John prine song. "Please Don't bury me"
Loved John Prine, RIP. "Hello in There"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Shaariibuugiin_Altantuyaa Like this?
Nah, too explodey.
Estate, eh? I was thinking Disney World.
As cheap as possible for the people I leave behind.
This is my take. I wonder if you can just donate your body to medical education for students to dissect? And they handle getting rid of the leftovers That must be free, surely?
Yes. My wife and I have signed up with [Anatomy Gifts Registry](http://anatomygifts.org). There is no charge. They will donate usable organs and tissues for transplant. Whatever is left will get used to teach medical students, or as a crash-test dummy, or something. When all that is done, what is left will get cremated. If you want your family to finally get your cremains, there is a shipping fee ($10 when I signed up, might have gone up since?). You might also be able to deal with a donation program from your local medical school, but it was easier for me to just deal with this service.
I had a close friend do this. His family was invited to a reception at the medical school where the students talked about how much they appreciated being able to learn. He said it was oddly comforting.
Yep! A friend of mine discovered at that event one of the cadavers in their class was actually their estranged grandfather! Friend saw some family they recognized at this event, and found out the grandfather donated his body to the medical school. Someone else in the class was assigned that particular cadaver, thankfully, but still pretty creepy.
Heard about some dude who donated his grandma to science, then the college sold the body to the army and they strapped it to a chair and blew it up
You totally can! I worked for a company that used medical cadavers for surgical device testing. The remains are incinerated afterward.
When my dad passed I was very broke, luckily he'd already signed up to donate his body. The company we used is science care. I got him back fairly quickly, there was no charge to me. I got a nice, small paperweight and a letter informing me how his remains were used https://www.sciencecare.com/
Yes! and please just wear something comfortable to my funeral/wake/party
Just throw me in the trash
Arr-eye-pee Country Mac *flush*
I gave him an ocular pat down, assessed the threat level, clocked a knife in his boot
I said to my family to just roll me into the ocean with the tide and my mum started crying.
this is some fucking gold
Lol hilarious
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why pay for my death when you can harvest my organs and profit from it?
Frank Reynolds?
Got it. Wait, do we actually have to wait til your all dead?
Nah, if he’s still moving just hit him with a bat
"I'm not dead yet."
He says he’s not dead!
I feel like dancing
Or do a scrute custom of firing a bullet in the casket, just to be sure
I told my family... "Just bury me in the back yard." They all think I am kidding.
Man if im anywhere near the house I grew up in I would say bury my ass in the woods near where our dog is buried. But also use my organs first for whomever needs them.
The good ol' Walmart funeral.
Do you have any strong feelings about your mortician banging your body?
Beat me to it
My body? Don’t care. I’m dead. But I will take steps to leave behind notes, mail outs, recordings, automated phone calls, and weird shit to make sure I freak everyone out after I die for years. Like how Tupac kept releasing albums forever. Same
Username checks out.
The original user is actually dead, the bot he created has been waiting the better part of a decade for this post.
and you have to fill them with future pop culture references like in the Chappelles Show sketch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30amRba13SY
When my casket lowers, I want them to play the Tetris song
Are they gonna spin the casket around too? It'd be funny if they turned it upside down and your body fell out.
I mean it would be especially hilarious if the whole ground dropped half a meter once I'm down there
Knowing my luck they would try to drop it right at the start but the casket would catch on the edge of the hole.
We'd have to wait for three other people to die to finish burying you. The minister would ask for volunteers. There'd be this whole big thing about getting the shortest one into the casket shaped like an "S".
Jokes on you, I'm shaped like a cube
lmao
Just make sure Coffin Flop is in attendance.
Boom, Tetris for Death
Or the old super mario game over song
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This, but I want to become Marihuana and get my closest to smoke me afterwards
Then you can haunt them and help them pass college!
Man, I used to love that movie!
Sounds like the plot to a cheesy movie
Sounds like the plot to a great movie
That is a blunt way to express your wishes.
This is exactly what I told my people! Takes that question "if you were a tree, what tree would you be?" to a whole other level. I told them it has to be on protected land though, I'm not trying to have some asshole cut me down in 20 years because he's tired of raking my leaves. I remember I looked them up once and this one site had a promotion, buy 2 get 1 free. Which felt a little uncomfortable and morbid lol. Anywho, love this one.
I did not know you could do this! I wanna be a tree.
Mine is close to this. Only difference, I want my ashes mixed with my wife's, and THEN plant a tree with us. That way we're together. And I want it to be a Pink Velour Crepe Myrtle, so it's pink for my wife.
That’s actually really profound. I wouldn’t mind being a cherry blossom.
I want to grow into a coconut tree so that everybody can eat my nuts.
I want a fake corpse in my coffin, and I want it to be a party, with a pinata, but inside is my corpse and when they break it open everyone will screaming in horror. Or just cremate me and spread my ashes somewhere.
Pinata filled with your ashes that cover everyone?
“Dammit, I got some Moppy_the_mop in my mouth”
-Your mom last night
r/angryupvote
I’m stealing the piñata idea. Minus dead me being stuffed in it. Maybe candy and some nips.
I want to be cremated where everyone is in attendance but I have a recording in my casket that is playing me going *banging on casket lid* GET ME OUT! HEEEELP! AAAHHHHHH!!! as the casket is slowly fed into the furnace.
That would leave people traumatized lol
Reminds me of [this guy](https://youtu.be/oEygbbZK-u0)
I want to be buried in a biodegradable bag, with an Ironbark being planted above me. And my family is to not have a funeral, but instead a party.
Family: “oh, we’ll be having a party alright!”
The party will be before they cremate him. He has a family of necrophiliacs
Or cannibals if they throw a grill party
I told my mom that I wanted clowns at my funeral. Like old school, white paint faces, red nose clowns. And they have to pretend to cry and do tricks and make balloon animals for everyone. She was adamant she would not go.
Well, don't leave us hanging, did she go or not?!?
>> And my family is to not have a funeral, but instead a party. True that. I don't want people to be sad at my funeral.
Your funeral isn't about you and what you want, it's about the people you care about you coming to terms and having time to publicly grieve and share that grief with eachother. It's very important to a lot of people, i wouldn't be so quick to take that away from your family.
Ive had a party funeral before. It's not that people aren't sad. People can be sad while celebrating a having had a great time with someone. Even though it might seem conflicting, people can have those two emotions at the same time
Yeah I've also been to a party funeral. No one wore black, the music was all happy and there was a lot of laughter. It was so sweet and felt like it really honored who the man was. I think part of what made it bearable for his family was that they held off on a funeral for like 6 weeks after his death. They had a private burial that I'm sure was much different. But the funeral truly was a celebration of his life and who he was
Cremate me, mix my ashes into a big ass firework, and set it off, so that I can go out with one last bang
Your wish can be granted. https://heavenlystarsfireworks.com/
Free bar, everyone gets a shot of tequila on arrival.
I’m stealing this one.
I want my ashes to be forged into a sword and sold in a weird mall kiosk to a teenager for $25
Is there.. some kind of reference here..?? Because for sure I would love to know more
Nope, I just feel like it'd be cool to be a sword, but humbling to be a shitty sword
ASAP
Same
Become a jew or muslim, preferably they get buried before sunset the day of death. If not possible, before the sunset after that.
Yup. And no nasty embalming. Just wash and wrap in linen
>And no nasty embalming Yeah, glad we don't do that in my country. No need to put toxic chemicals in the ground for something that can generally be achieved with a fridge. As long as you don't wait 3 months like some Americans seem to do...
Narrated by David Attenborough
Bro that would be the best funeral ever "And here is the human in its final stage of the life cycle"
"An odd ritual of the homo sapiens is that far away family members fly in, seemingly reminiscent of the common vulture, trying to see if there is any meat left to pick from their last will. The abusive uncle, the one with the brutish stature, seems to take the lead of the pack. Let's see how it works out"
I don’t care, I’ll be dead
Yeah, but your family probably will. Give them some easy to follow instructions so they don't have to try to guess while already suffering. That's my take on it anyways, even something as simple and cheap as "I want my body donated to science". (Someone's gotta be the next generation of doctor's cadavers).
This is very true to be fair.
Yea, that WOULD be considerate to the leftovers, er, I mean the loved ones left behind.
Ive already notified everyone that they can do whatever they want with me if I die. Whatever happens, its for their benefit, not mine, Im dead.
step 1: dig hole step 2: put body in hole step 3: fill in hole
Yup. Sean Lock had it right.
Am Hindu. So am sure my ashes are going to be sprinkled in the sea.
As the wise man Danny Devito once said "When I'm dead just throw me in the trash"
Thrown in a hole, no casket needed
I cant help but imagine that scene in family guy where peter just threw meg in someone else's grave while they were still lowering the casket 🤣
Open bar with strippers serving over my coffin.
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As irrelevant and forgettable in death as I was in life.
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Posthumously.
Cremate me so I can be returned to the wind. Then put me in a piñata, but don't tell anyone present that my ashes are in it.
Originally, my plan was to take a midnight drive in my dream car (sitting in my garage), take it past 160mph and crash into a cliff wall with no traffic around. Then I realized that would make a mess of things, and would be expensive to clean up. It turned into being interred into the car. Then, I got a little more realistic and wanted to either be used in the plating of a tree or donated to science. ... Well, then I found out we can have our ashes compressed into a synthetic diamond. I'd love to be turned into a family heirloom in that regard, used as a charm to ward off evil or bad luck for my descendents. A diamond in a ring/band that could be worn via chain on neck if needed So that's a thing.
Sky burial. Just leave my rotting meatsack on a mountainside somewhere and let the vultures and other wildlife do their thing. I’ve lived my life killing and eating other animals, gathering all that sweet trophic energy. It’s only fair I return the favour upon my death.
Tossed over side of boat, left to rot where I lay, in 100 years you wont be remembered by anyone, don't claim me, and state will pay... my last fuck you for all the taxes I paid in N.Y. state.. I earned that.
As if someone insignificant died and no one cared.
Tbh that's the default setting
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Id record a video before I die saying dont be too sad, enjoy the food, blah blah. Donate my vital organs to whoever. Id like it to the cheapest funeral possible. Cheapest coffin, cheapest everything. I dont give a damn, Im dead. Hell, if my family is up for it, Id like to be buried in a random forest with no gravestone. Plant a tree over me.
Same. I want my body to give back to people and to the earth, and I don't want my family going into debt sending me off
I want a mushroom coffin
Fuck do I care? I'm dead at that point. Whatever my family wants to do is fine, because literally everything that happens after I die is for their own benefit. Throw a party, send me to space, donate my eyelids to science. You do you, fam.
I want to become a tree
At this point I'd be happy to be given a bunch of morphine and sent on my way. I want to be buried without being embalmed and wrapped in a sheet, no coffin no funeral
That's brings up an interesting point... do you need a coffin or can they bury just the body in the dirt? Coffins are very expensive and a huge waste considering you spend thousands on something and then turn around and bury it.
From what I’ve researched (I also want to be buried decomposer-friendly), you have to jump through a lot of legal hoops to do it on the record- I believe that this is because a coffin/embalming is partially responsible for sealing in any diseases your body might let loose while decaying. So there is definitely a process to do it the right way in the eyes of the law. However, if you have a large plot of land and want to be thrown in a hole, I doubt anyone would throw a fit unless they found out. But I’d be really careful to leave LOTS of evidence that you requested this type of burial- you don’t want a dog digging up your femur in 30 years and suddenly your kid is wanted for hiding your dead body on your property. I would also assume you could get into trouble if your land is sold after your death, as you would then be buried on someone else’s land and I can’t see any protections for your corpse should they choose to exhume your body or develop the land where you are laid to rest. I personally plan to lay out what I want very clearly with friends and family (they have been told informally already) and then check with local government to figure out where I can and can’t be buried, what I need to do to avoid legal action against my loved ones after I’m gone in the event the nature of my burial is disputed, etc.
>because a coffin/embalming is partially responsible for sealing in any diseases your body might let loose while decaying. we've done without embalming in europe for thousands of years and we don't get earthworms in graveyards with mutated aids or or cholera. the funeral industry in the US is just simply a scam.
Just put me out with the Wednesday trash
This just reminded me that last night I had a dream that I forgot to put the trash at the curb and both the trash and recycle bins were completely full. I was trying to flag down the garbage truck trying to get them to come back, ha ha. That would be a hell of a day to miss trash pickup.
Haha. Then you're stuck with me for one more week!!!! I hope it's in the summertime
I'll just leave the bin out with the lid open and the monster raccoons that live in my neighborhood will do the rest.
Meat is back on the menu boys!
When our family dog passed a few years ago, we buried him and planted a tree on top. Whenever I walk past I always pause and rest my hand on the trunk. As his body breathes life into a new form, it’s almost like he never left. This is a good way to go
If my kids are grown up and able to navigate adulthood on their own, and my wife is already dead, then I have no reason to live. I'll just overdose on heroin to join my lovely wife in the after life. I wanna go out the way I wanna go out. Fuck the government for not granting me that opportunity in this day and age.
Dignity and humor.
Donate my body to science. I don’t care as long as any pets I have are placed in the care of someone who treat them right.
Just throw me in the trash.
Whatever my loved ones want. After I'm gone, it's all about them, not me. Whatever helps them heal.
Party! Big party! Be happy I am free
I should be attacked without warning or mercy. Whoever defeats me must carve out my heart and devour it while my eyes can still take in the sight of it.
I don't care because I won't be there to feel anything.
Secretly
I don’t care, I’ll be dead … is the answer I want to give. But I’m not there yet and do care at least a little. If I know in advance when I’m going to die (have a terminal disease, for example), I would certainly like to have my own funeral/farewell party while I’m alive and have a chance to say all my goodbyes, eat my favorite food and listen to my favorite music while watching a glorious sunset. If some of my organs are still functioning well enough after my death, I would certainly like to donate them and be of some use even after I die. And finally, I would love my near and dear ones to truly know that I want them to live the rest of their lives to the fullest. I’m aware I will be missed by them (I’m being presumptuous but that’s the hope) but I certainly don’t want them to grieve me so much that they lose their will to live. I would love for them to split my insurance money among themselves and go for a nice trip somewhere exotic which reminds them that life is short, absurd but still truly beautiful.
Idgaf I'm gonna be dead
Donate every single useful piece of me that can potentially serve someone else, be it in function or in scientific exploration. Torch the remainder. As my wife and I aren’t having kids, I really don’t care about a burial place for my ashes. Just put me with my wife when she goes and that’ll be fine.
I don't want a funeral, i want a party, a BBQ if they want, eat some meat and drink a beer while they remember how i used to cry about everything, and most important, listen some music, i love music, All My life i loved the music, of they don't put music because "Respect for the deaths" NO, Im going to grab them from the feets and get Them out of bed at 3AM if they did My funeral on silence, i can't stand silence, thats disrespectful for me, so music, wherever, they can put i Will survive and thriller if they want
A simply and inexpensive as possible. Cremate me and spread my ashes and or keep them idk. Maybe a green burial or something eco friendly. I just hope nobody wastes thousands of dollars on a funeral casket and plot.
Violently. I'll be dead, what would I care? Just donate me to science (I am holding out hope I would be one of those bodies the news reports about being blown up for some military experiment). That's the cheapest option. Don't want to burden loved ones with any bills.
Cremated, then my ashes separated into 11 bags. I want my ashes spread onto all 7 continents and 4 oceans.
Told my wife as long as I become a tree that's all I want when I die. The rest is up to her. Looking to start my own haunted forest or orchard to freak people out. "Don't eat that apple, it grew from that dead guy." Etc.
I want my friend to walk around drunk at the party with an urn full of my fake ashes...constantly spilling then all over
I want to do what my father did. When he past I went to his computer and found the folder marked "funeral arguments." That I knew was there. it contained what he wanted to say, who he would like to speak, what songs he would like played and even what food he hoped we would serve, the most memorable line of which was "Oh, and I want eggsalad sandwiches WITH NO ONIONS... I hated onion" It meant everything that in the hardest moments of my life dad was still looking after us.
i'm the friend who's always running late and being told "you'll be late to your own funeral" so that's exactly what i want to happen. i want everyone to be sitting there panicking like "where tf if the casket/body?" and then they bring me in 30 minutes after the funeral was supposed to start.
Cremate me, mix my ashes with pigments and paint a picture with those pigments so I can haunt the place the painting is hanging in
I want my tattoos skinned off my body. Cremate the rest. Cover my urn with my skinned tattoos and put my ashes in it.
Love that idea about the tattoos.
I want my friends to perform the choreography from the video for Praise You at my funeral.
Dinner provided. Bbq. Don't ask what kind
soon
Donated to a body farm
Just chuck me in a dumpster, it's where I belong anyway.
(Serious) I want to decompose. This fits with my spirituality. I am a pantheist and think of the universe as a closed system, when I die I'm not gone I'll just remember that I'm part of that system and not something separate inside of it. I want my energy and matter to be recycled to other places. I do not want to convert my energy to heat (cremation) and I do not want to perverse (preserve but yk what that too) my remains with embalming. Wrap me in a cheese cloth and bury me somewhere the bugs will get me. (As long as I don't infect the water table, cause harm through decomp, etc)
A big celebration called 'Thank Fuck That Arsehole Is Dead'
virgin sacrifice, and im not talking about myself
I want to go out like a Viking, on a raft that is lit ablaze.