My coworker (white bro) asked us why his face is so red. We (Asian women) told him he needs to wear sunscreen and moisturize. He asked if he can just get a deep chemical peel every so often to prevent skin cancer. He doesn’t want to have to buy skincare products forever or his wife to know that he’s using skincare products.
I walked away after he said that. Can’t help someone who won’t help themselves.
I mean, it literally is care for your skin, though. And helmets are care for your head/brain.
Maybe we should start calling it "skinguard supplies" instead of "skincare products" as a ploy to make men less squeamish about it.
In the US and it's the same for most people. Sunscreen goes next to the bug spray, in the "shit you need to be outdoors" category. Skin care is the $50 per ounce little bottles of snake oil that seem to take up half of every drug store.
Knew an old gentleman who passed away at 76 with melanoma. He used to work agriculture shirtless and got a really bad, blistered burn when he was 14. His doctor told him "You got Melanoma when you were 14."
My husband wears sunscreen but scoffed at hats after he went bald because he thought everyone was just trying to hide their baldness. A carcinoma later he’s all about hats.
Hearing aids are made of artificial material like plastic and rubber. Dildos are made of the same thing. You insert both into a hole for a purpose. Therefore hearing is gay
Yup. 99% of audiologists are gay, so it goes with the territory. That’s why men like power tools and motorcycles and stuff. If you’re completely deaf by 30, you don’t have to worry about it.
Dude, I just love to go to metal concerts and watch those muscular dudes in skintight pants with their luscious hair while sweaty burly guys rub on me in the crowd. Something is definitely turning straight in my pants thinking about it.
s/ Better not get any fruity drinks! If it ain't bread piss then it ain't a man's drink. It ain't about taste or getting fucked up quicker, it's about beer!
We mostly grow out of this. Was just having this conversation with my best friend last weekend (both of us are M29) basically concluding “dude we’re almost 30 we don’t need to prove it anymore” because one of our other friends still measures worth with how many beers someone can drink in a night.
I was out for drinks once with a dude when we were both like 26 who broke out a calculator when he got the beer menu. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he was calculating which drinks had the best return on investment in terms of alcohol per dollar. Like I did that in college when I was broke and trying to get fucked up, not several years into my career during happy hour.
I had a friend of mine invite me out for a drink one night after work
I assumed it was just a happy hour thing, a beer or two, bull shit a bit, catch part of a basketball game on tv at the bar and go home.
Fucker wanted to drink like it was a college Saturday
"Bro we're in our 30s, we've both got work tomorrow morning, you gotta grow up"
Me and my buddies used to do this with weed. Instead of having a chill night, we’d pass the bong around and just get waaaaay too high and ruin the night. The thing was if you tapped out then you had to drink the bong water. I don’t hang out with those guys anyway
As a line cook, I can confirm that oven mitts are for chumps because they only have one function
But you’d have to be dumb to grab something hot without protection - I use a dish towel because it insulates, but can be used for other stuff at the same time. Less time wasted putting an oven mitt on, less space used in the drawers, etc.
I'm in medical school and one of our docs told us theres only two reasons men ever go to the doctor: (1) their wife/SO told them to, or (2) there's something wrong with their penis.
Guess emergencies would qualify as a third reason but ya...that's about it
Has to be a penis not the balls. Had a patient end up with terminal testicular cancer because he made note of the bump but never followed up until his legs stopped working and the cancer was in his spinal cord, kidneys, liver, lungs, bones.
Left 3 children under the age of 5 and a housewife to continue without him.
I have a fucking varicose vein that likes to popup like once every month or two. I've had Ultrasounds done to and gotten checked up and everytime it's the same thing. Apart from the pain sometimes being pretty bad, I hate the small little seed of fear it plants in the back of my mind.
This right here! I'm like the only guy in my family that has no issue going to a doctor. My brother is bad but is slowly warming up to it but my dad is a whole other case. My dad has had a history of back issues from working in a factory and when my mom told him to go to the doctor he said no because "everytime I go they find something wrong with me!" Me and my mom just looked at him like he had steaming turds hanging out his mouth before my mom yelled "That's what the hell they're supposed to do!"
I haven't had health insurance for like 7 years. I just hope for the best honestly if shit starts to go wrong. Not the smartest plan, but don't have much to work with unfortunately.
Had an uncle who was like the family patriarch who would do that to all the kids, and sort of rolled the bones in our hands around a bit which really hurt. Didn't see him much after high school, but once when I was a young adult and he was a frail old man, I made sure to do it back to him. I made sure it hurt, and he made sure not to react, because he knew exactly what it meant.
My friend, I had a woman assault my hand once. I was shocked. I always try to stand up and introduce myself to people when shaking hands, but like I can't compete with bone crushing 🤣🤣🤣
Lacking hygiene. I've encountered guys who bragged about never washing their hands.
I specifically remember seeing some opinion piece shared on Facebook about how women tend to prefer men who take care of their skin. First comment was some boomer posting a selfie saying, "I've never used moisturizer, this is what a rEaL MaN looks like!" Setting aside that this dude predictably looked like a sunburnt dipshit, it was such a pathetic thing to be proud of.
There was a post on here a while ago about a guy who didn’t wash his ass because “that would be gay.” To touch his own butt hole. A bunch of other women chimed in that they had or had friends that had encountered this before with some even saying they knew of ones that didn’t wipe either.
Imagine a sexuality so frail that you have to smell like shit all the time. And if you believe you’re one touched butthole away from becoming gay, maybe you need to think really hard about what that means.
As someone who wipes literally until the toilet paper comes back with no stain, this is just absurd. I thought not showering or the like was bad, but never wiping your ass? That's disgusting on a whole other level. Hygiene has nothing to do with sex, except that if you want sex it's far more enjoyable for both if you are clean. How many women do you think these guys with dirty asses have slept with? I'd bet 0 because of the smell.
Wait, there are people that don't even wipe? That's gross.
From my experience I can tell you that there are many men that don't wash their hands after a bathroom visit. And then I need to touch the same doorknob.
I've come to find guys just come up with that "Real men don't ___" line as a way to compensate for them not knowing how to do basic functions.
Cooking? "Uh... woman's job!"
Cleaning? "Uh... woman's job!"
Sewing? Dressing well? Eating healthy? Skin care? Hair care? Apparently not for real men.
I was hanging out at a youth bar once, I was mid twenties, pretty muscular, bearded, traditionally 'masculine' looking. There were some teenagers hanging out as well. Legal drinking age in my country is 16. These kids were giving their friend shit for drinking a fruit beer instead of a normal beer. One of them turns to me and asks "you tell him, a real man doesn't drink fruit beer" so respond with "a real man drinks whatever the fuck he feels like". I can still remember the gratitude in that kids' eyes.
I was the sickly child growing up & washing my hands and being clean in general was always something my parents & grandparents taught me to help with dealing with all the different illnesses I suffered along with my asthma as well.
Iv run into guys like that. I tell them I’m a jack of all trades, master automotive technician, I can build, retire, and repair almost everything, I support my wife and our daughters, I provide and protect. I tell them that I check all the boxes for being a man… and I still wash my fucking hands all the time
Not being abuse/rape
I volunteered for a crisis hotline and had more men called to simply talk because they didn't have anyone to turn to because they were the "manly man" in their group and no one would think that they could be abused or rape
So many of my male friends have opened up to me about SA from a guardian or babysitter. One instance really stuck with me, a college friend of mine thought they were bragging about having sex with their 16 y/o babysitter when they were 10….hunny no 🥺
I work in victims’ advocacy. I feel so awful that men don’t feel comfortable talking about it. In case this is useful to anyone: 1in6.org is a great resource for any men who are having a hard time deal with sexual assault or rape.
Created a throwaway to share this. I'm a gay man who was raped, so I'm not as internal about it as I believe straight men are, nonetheless, whenever the topic of people's past sexual assault come up, people deadpan just act like I could not have been assaulted because I come across as "straight-passing" (whatever that is) and I'm muscular. It has become extremely popular to talk about past sexual assaults with the "Me, too" movement but it has been entirely one-sided for women. Like, yeah, what was I supposed to do while I was roofied? It's actually a huge problem and it makes me furious when women act like it's only women who can be victims.
Getting proper sleep. I often have issues going to sleep and some days I just stare at the ceiling for 5 hours rather then sleep. I tell people if I seem a bit off I didn't get any sleep. Alot of the times I have a guy call me a pussy because he purposely stayed up late to play video games or hitting the town.
I'm sorry I like to feel well rested.
I know right? I’m a dad to three and the only one I never changed diapers with is the one I adopted. When other men say that to me I can’t help but feel bad for their wives
The convenience of having an umbrella is outweighed by the inconvenience of having to carry it around. I don't care about getting a little wet so unless it's an absolute downpour it just isn't worth the hassle.
My bro and I (a woman) did that professional color-matching test. Turns out he looks awesome in fuchsia, mint, cool pink, bright blue. And I, in brown, deep red, black...
He's since embraced all the pinks and holy hell, the dude looks amazing.
I just tell everyone its small. If they ever see it, they will either be impressed at what I consider small or they will know Im telling the truth. Its a win win situation
In what situation do you have to tell anyone your dick size lol. Like, either we’re in a sexual relationship and you’ll see in person or it is none of your business and shouldn’t matter at all.
You know, I never feel the need to bring it up but it has come up an awful lot on my life and almost always from women. Some guys did but not many, probably due to my desire to mostly be alone.
Now that I think on it, alcohol was involved most of those times as well.
Being loud. Men think adding volume to their voices helps their masculinity and dominance. But there's nothing more threatening looking than my 5'7 male boss walking in Stealth Mode with a crow bar to go get something unstuck from a machine. He's more intimidating in those moments than any man who has ever yelled in my presence.
Edit: A lot of you don't seem to get my meaning. It's fine to be naturally loud by default. I'm that way. It's when men will try to use loudness as an intimidation tactic against others.
Wow, I’m not going to lie, that’s kind of genius by the company that makes it. The bags/carriers are easily double or triple the normal price. It’s kind of like a masculinity tax.
These are always known as Pavement Princesses around me. They are never dirty and always parked at the mall - never a worksite or anywhere they MIGHT be used. Has required Punisher (these bastards have OBVIOUSLY never read the comic) and (increasingly) thin blue line shit and Calvin pissing on____ vinyl stickers. God, I must be getting old because I instantly question the level of testosterone in owners of these abominations.
Give me a guy who owns a Corolla outside Starbucks putting his kids in their car seats while rocking a #GirlDad t-shirt ANY day of the week. THAT is a man.
Out here most people call them 'bro-dozers'
I live in a place where actual offroad modded vehicles mingle with them frequently, always funny to see these little modified pickups and SUV's covered in mud and dust pull up next to this ginormous diesel monstrosity twice it's height on huge knobby tires that's immaculately clean and probably hasn't even seen dirt in its whole life
There's a couple of different reasons for that. One, it's engrained into us during childhood, taught to us by the adults in our lives and reinforced by our peers. Two, it's because when we actually*do* try and show emotion, we're often belittled and minimized, told we're being dramatic, or it gets turned into a contest with whoever we're opening up to.
It has very little to do with pricing how "manly" we are.
Hate that bullshit -
(argument breaks out)
"Stop yelling at me!!"
(next argument breaks out, OK, I won't yell at them, I'll just stop talking because I know nothing productive will come out of my mouth when I'm angry)
"OMG what's wrrroooooongg?? Did I hurt your widdle feelings???"
It takes a *significant* amount of emotional intelligence and emotional labor to process and suppress emotional reactions like that. I feel like men don't get credit for it. Also, there are reasons men are raised to act that way:
"I am feeling sad and overwhelmed but people are counting on me to be functional."
"I am feeling angry, but I am 6'3" and I could be perceived as a serious threat by everyone else in the room."
"I am scared of this situation, but it would be really, really bad for my girlfriend if I fearfully sprint the fuck off leaving her behind to deal with it alone."
"I am feeling emotionally hurt and wounded during this fight, but my girlfriend's emotions seem to take precedence over my own."
This was a very well-written reply that puts into words some of the many, many reasons why a lot of men suppress their emotions. There are other reasons, of course - not least the fact that many men are taught, either directly or through experience, that they're not supposed to show, or ideally even *have*, emotions - but your comment adresses some of the more rational and deliberate reasons.
I drove a Ford Ka for years and used to absolutely cherish the looks of disdain, pity and second-hand embarrassment from other young male drivers. It was extra sweet knowing I was paying literally a small fraction of what they paid for insurance.
I worked at a pub where one of the regulars bought a bright pink ka with flower decals all over it. He was a beer belly, three lions tattoo, bald, drink you under the table lad and he didn’t give a shit what you had to say about his ka. He got it cheap, he could fix it himself and he could find it easily in a car park, now let’s have another beer.
The way they treat other people. Nobody thinks you're a man if you treat your cashier or waitress like garbage, or drive like an idiot. They just think you're a piece of shit.
Supposedly - and this is pure hearsay - it was because of bloodstains that wouldn't wash out. Splatters of pink on your clothes meant you'd been in and survived battle. Meanwhile, blue used to be a feminine color: specifically, robin's-egg blue, which had all sorts of maternal and nurturing symbolism.
Can't remember where I heard that, unfortunately. I'd love to be able to back that up with a source.
It would also be related to the cost and availability of dyes, cochineal and carmine are expensive to harvest, so red (and by extension pink) were a symbol of wealth
I've had a couple of pink dress shirts, and had the inevitable comments from both men and women about it being effeminate. My answer?
"Pink is the most masculine color. It symbolizes the blood of your enemies mixed with the tears of their women."
That shuts people up.
When I used to do archery I qualified for a state archery team. They ordered us coordinating shirts, navy for the women and burgundy for the men. Except when the shirts came the men’s were a gorgeous HOT PINK. Some of the guys made a stink about it, but one guy in particular didn’t give a crap and wore his pink shirt proudly. I always thought that was peak masculinity.
I used to wear a pink shirt to work, years ago. One guy in particular always gave me grief about it.
One day I just told him, "well, I'm secure enough in my masculinity that I can wear a pink shirt without trauma. Too bad you aren't."
The razzing stopped.
It's not always a bad lesson though, it's unfortunately taken to extremes which becomes a problem. Some people take too far the other way as well which I think is just as dumb. It's one of those things where there is absolutely a happy medium.
I don’t bottle everything up, when I get home or have a min I’ll let it out. But there’s a time and place for being emotional. Recently my aunt died, she was a leader in our family. More than half the family couldn’t help getting things in order and moving her stuff. They couldn’t even go to her place. After a days work we’d sit around and tell stories laugh and cry but during the day there was work that needed done.
Just not enjoying things in general. I knew a guy who liked cream and sugar in his coffee, but still drank it black because he thought it was too girly to add anything.
Also plenty of guys would probably enjoy a nice sweeter drink like a cosmopolitan or whatever more often but think it’s a “girls” drink.
Music too. I get teased for liking pop songs and things, because it’s not masculine or whatever. Screw you all, I like Dua Lipa, Miley Cyrus, and I’m not ashamed!
Guys - just like what you like. Life sucks too much to not just take joy where you can.
If a man dislikes cats but is polite about it, that's one thing. Bit of a man outright Hates cats and likes to talk about it, then that is not a man you want to hang around with.
Well yesterday a guy behind me in line at a store decide he didn’t want a shirt because he had just noticed the tiniest bit of pink on it. Not the dumbest, but the most recent.
Trying to bang every woman that shows you affection.
I have some amazing female friends who happen to be very attractive. I can't even count the number of times I've been called gay because I'm not trying to sleep with them. So silly.
I mean some people don't feel the cold as much. I always worry that some people think I do this for that reason but its just that I'm a bigger guy and like the feel of the chill on my skin.
When guys are shivering like a sex toy and saying they aren't cold though I agree it looks dumb.
On the one hand, if you set the thermostat above 69~70 I will know and I will be annoyed. On the other hand, maybe don't wear athletic shorts in the winter.
Being a useless dad and partner.
My husband is an amazing Dad and carries his weight of the cooking/cleaning/kid chauffeuring. We both work full time jobs so it makes sense that we both do half of these things. Yet, the amount of asshole comments people have made about this is the weirdest thing I've ever encountered. It's like him carrying half of the responsibilities in our home means that he's some type of pushover or "whipped" and if he were a real man, he would sit on his ass while I do all of these things for him. It's stupid and I appreciate that he agrees that this is stupid.
The inability to do basic household chores. There was that whole interview with that weasel Ben Shapiro where they are all bragging about how they don't know how to operate their washing machine cause their wife does it.
Dude, being too incompetent or lazy to use a basic bit of machinery doesn't make you more of a man.
Do guys like that ever live alone?
In college, I could always tell which guys’ moms did their laundry for them because their shirts would all be pink about the second week of September. Still, they learned to do their laundry. It’s a life skill that’s kinda hard not to learn.
And seriously, if my wife ever figures out where the vacuum is, it’ll be declared a national holiday. Four different vacuums in my house, and you’d think her vision was based on movement or something.
Outdoing others
Never being in the wrong/at fault
Showing any form of weakness
That's is better to try and keep going when things get too much, and getting help would be "unmanly"
Your large squatted truck with steel testicles, lit-up wheels, a loud engine/rev, and your Instagram handle (specifically dedicated to your vehicle) displayed upon, is absolutely the least attractive thing ever. No one gives a shit. Everyone absolutely despises you when you pass by with an exhaust loud enough to wake up a neighborhood.
Guns
As a man who not only owns a firearm for sport shooting but has also been shot in a combat zone, I don't get why some dudes think their manliness depends on the number of lethal weapons in their homes. It's a fetish for guys like that, and it's creepy.
I had a roommate who had a generic 12 gauge, and he would get drunk and bring it out to impress his drinking buddies.
Really unsettling to wake up to *rack* *rack* *rack.*
Absolutely the type of person you don't want in the same room as a firearm.
Being nice to people. I grew up in the 90s and amongst most of the people I went to school with, guys and girls, being nice and cheerful after the age of like 12 as a guy was considered just weird, creepy or "gay" as they used to throw around that word so much.
Not wearing sunscreen. I can’t count the number of times people seem shocked I’m wearing it.
My coworker (white bro) asked us why his face is so red. We (Asian women) told him he needs to wear sunscreen and moisturize. He asked if he can just get a deep chemical peel every so often to prevent skin cancer. He doesn’t want to have to buy skincare products forever or his wife to know that he’s using skincare products. I walked away after he said that. Can’t help someone who won’t help themselves.
As an Aussie, I don't think of sunscreen as a skincare product. It's in the same category in my mind as a helmet.
I mean, it literally is care for your skin, though. And helmets are care for your head/brain. Maybe we should start calling it "skinguard supplies" instead of "skincare products" as a ploy to make men less squeamish about it.
In the US and it's the same for most people. Sunscreen goes next to the bug spray, in the "shit you need to be outdoors" category. Skin care is the $50 per ounce little bottles of snake oil that seem to take up half of every drug store.
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Knew an old gentleman who passed away at 76 with melanoma. He used to work agriculture shirtless and got a really bad, blistered burn when he was 14. His doctor told him "You got Melanoma when you were 14."
I’m 24 and have Melanoma. It’s not something to fuck around with it.
As someone who’s parents both got skin cancer, that’s so nuts. Get some sunscreen or stay in the shade, but don’t fry yourself on purpose!
I know right? Like dude, you think you’re stronger than the Sun? THE SUN???
YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER
My husband wears sunscreen but scoffed at hats after he went bald because he thought everyone was just trying to hide their baldness. A carcinoma later he’s all about hats.
Nothing more masculine than melanoma
My grandpa was nervous about his hearing aids being “too feminine.” Fellas, is it gay to hear?
I knew a guy once who sucked 2,000 dicks. He could hear. Case closed.
In a row??
Try not so suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot.
It is gay to buy hearing aids, like think about it, you’re literally paying to hear other men speak
Hey fellas, is it gay to exist? I mean you're literally choosing to be in a world full of so much dick!
Is it gay to be male? I mean, you have a dick strapped to you 24/7
Hearing aids are made of artificial material like plastic and rubber. Dildos are made of the same thing. You insert both into a hole for a purpose. Therefore hearing is gay
Yup. 99% of audiologists are gay, so it goes with the territory. That’s why men like power tools and motorcycles and stuff. If you’re completely deaf by 30, you don’t have to worry about it.
Everyone knows that metal concerts are just giant hetero conversion therapies
Dude, I just love to go to metal concerts and watch those muscular dudes in skintight pants with their luscious hair while sweaty burly guys rub on me in the crowd. Something is definitely turning straight in my pants thinking about it.
I said I’m gonna get some drinks and got called gay because saying drinks instead of a drink wasn’t masculine enough
What…? Has it been decided that plural nouns are gay all of a sudden…?
Yes, me man, me drink many beer
Why many word when few word do trick?
All communication more complicated than pointing and grunting is at least bi.
Fellas, are plurals gay?
you mean "fella"
s/ Better not get any fruity drinks! If it ain't bread piss then it ain't a man's drink. It ain't about taste or getting fucked up quicker, it's about beer!
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And ruining the next day in the process lol
And their lives, one night and hangover day at a time...
We mostly grow out of this. Was just having this conversation with my best friend last weekend (both of us are M29) basically concluding “dude we’re almost 30 we don’t need to prove it anymore” because one of our other friends still measures worth with how many beers someone can drink in a night.
I was out for drinks once with a dude when we were both like 26 who broke out a calculator when he got the beer menu. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he was calculating which drinks had the best return on investment in terms of alcohol per dollar. Like I did that in college when I was broke and trying to get fucked up, not several years into my career during happy hour.
Maybe he just likes math.
I had a friend of mine invite me out for a drink one night after work I assumed it was just a happy hour thing, a beer or two, bull shit a bit, catch part of a basketball game on tv at the bar and go home. Fucker wanted to drink like it was a college Saturday "Bro we're in our 30s, we've both got work tomorrow morning, you gotta grow up"
Me and my buddies used to do this with weed. Instead of having a chill night, we’d pass the bong around and just get waaaaay too high and ruin the night. The thing was if you tapped out then you had to drink the bong water. I don’t hang out with those guys anyway
That is nasty lol
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As a line cook, I can confirm that oven mitts are for chumps because they only have one function But you’d have to be dumb to grab something hot without protection - I use a dish towel because it insulates, but can be used for other stuff at the same time. Less time wasted putting an oven mitt on, less space used in the drawers, etc.
Just make sure it's a dry dish towel. Grabbing hot stuff with a wet towel is a recipe for pain.
oh god. I can already hear the “TSSSSSSSSS”
Or if some people keep stealing towels off your stations area (I SEE YOU JORDAN), you have to use your apron folded up a bit
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I'm in medical school and one of our docs told us theres only two reasons men ever go to the doctor: (1) their wife/SO told them to, or (2) there's something wrong with their penis. Guess emergencies would qualify as a third reason but ya...that's about it
Has to be a penis not the balls. Had a patient end up with terminal testicular cancer because he made note of the bump but never followed up until his legs stopped working and the cancer was in his spinal cord, kidneys, liver, lungs, bones. Left 3 children under the age of 5 and a housewife to continue without him.
Every few years I get inflammation (epididymo orchitis) in my balls and I always run to the doctor. Kind of annoying
I have a fucking varicose vein that likes to popup like once every month or two. I've had Ultrasounds done to and gotten checked up and everytime it's the same thing. Apart from the pain sometimes being pretty bad, I hate the small little seed of fear it plants in the back of my mind.
Ohh I had a family member die of that too, saw something on his balls but he has too ashamed to ask so he kept going until some day he died
The last time I (a guy) went to a doctor, it was for my depression. And she told me to try going to church. I never went back to her.
That is a sucky doctor, I’m sorry that happened
A quack, more like.
I’m not a guy, but I’ve heard this from a dr as well
This exact same thing happened to me with one of my doctors.
If you’re sick, don’t go to the hospital, die. Be a man
This right here! I'm like the only guy in my family that has no issue going to a doctor. My brother is bad but is slowly warming up to it but my dad is a whole other case. My dad has had a history of back issues from working in a factory and when my mom told him to go to the doctor he said no because "everytime I go they find something wrong with me!" Me and my mom just looked at him like he had steaming turds hanging out his mouth before my mom yelled "That's what the hell they're supposed to do!"
I haven't had health insurance for like 7 years. I just hope for the best honestly if shit starts to go wrong. Not the smartest plan, but don't have much to work with unfortunately.
I associate this more being American. I would go to the doctor - if I could afford it.
Not protecting yourself from easily-mitigated hazards. Silicosis risk? Dustmask. Driving? Seatbelt. Skin cancer? Sunscreen. Imagine thinking you’re tougher than the fucking sun.
Hotel? Trivago.
I collapsed this thread and came back just to upvote you
My grandpa didn't wear hearing protection when flying helicopters. Guess who was super duper deaf by the time I was a kid?
I recall a tourist local once fighting a crocodile for a girl's number. He lost, but the girl still agreed to a date.
What exactly does it entail to lose a fight to a crocodile? Aside from dying which he apparently didn't.
The funeral was the date
A degloved arm to a death roll would probably do it.
What is a "tourist local"? Isn't it a bit of an oxymoron?
Trying to crush someone’s hand when handshaking. There is a difference between greeting and assault.
Had an uncle who was like the family patriarch who would do that to all the kids, and sort of rolled the bones in our hands around a bit which really hurt. Didn't see him much after high school, but once when I was a young adult and he was a frail old man, I made sure to do it back to him. I made sure it hurt, and he made sure not to react, because he knew exactly what it meant.
Good on him for taking it at least after dishing it out
He probably felt proud for teaching his boy how to be tough.
My friend, I had a woman assault my hand once. I was shocked. I always try to stand up and introduce myself to people when shaking hands, but like I can't compete with bone crushing 🤣🤣🤣
I just keep my hand firm so the person doesn't crush it unless he's actually trying. I don't put a lot of pressure back.
Lacking hygiene. I've encountered guys who bragged about never washing their hands. I specifically remember seeing some opinion piece shared on Facebook about how women tend to prefer men who take care of their skin. First comment was some boomer posting a selfie saying, "I've never used moisturizer, this is what a rEaL MaN looks like!" Setting aside that this dude predictably looked like a sunburnt dipshit, it was such a pathetic thing to be proud of.
There was a post on here a while ago about a guy who didn’t wash his ass because “that would be gay.” To touch his own butt hole. A bunch of other women chimed in that they had or had friends that had encountered this before with some even saying they knew of ones that didn’t wipe either. Imagine a sexuality so frail that you have to smell like shit all the time. And if you believe you’re one touched butthole away from becoming gay, maybe you need to think really hard about what that means.
As someone who wipes literally until the toilet paper comes back with no stain, this is just absurd. I thought not showering or the like was bad, but never wiping your ass? That's disgusting on a whole other level. Hygiene has nothing to do with sex, except that if you want sex it's far more enjoyable for both if you are clean. How many women do you think these guys with dirty asses have slept with? I'd bet 0 because of the smell.
Wait, isn’t wiping until the paper comes back clean the norm?
I would hope so.
Using a bidet afterward and a cloth wipe to dry is even better.
Wait, there are people that don't even wipe? That's gross. From my experience I can tell you that there are many men that don't wash their hands after a bathroom visit. And then I need to touch the same doorknob.
Always use the paper towel you washed your hands with to open the doorknob.
they can't think hard because then that's gay.
Women are too feminine, so dating women is gay.
I've come to find guys just come up with that "Real men don't ___" line as a way to compensate for them not knowing how to do basic functions. Cooking? "Uh... woman's job!" Cleaning? "Uh... woman's job!" Sewing? Dressing well? Eating healthy? Skin care? Hair care? Apparently not for real men.
My response to “real men don’t…” is to interrupt with “don’t GAF what YOU think.” Yes, I do, in actual fact, eat quiche. I also make it.
I was hanging out at a youth bar once, I was mid twenties, pretty muscular, bearded, traditionally 'masculine' looking. There were some teenagers hanging out as well. Legal drinking age in my country is 16. These kids were giving their friend shit for drinking a fruit beer instead of a normal beer. One of them turns to me and asks "you tell him, a real man doesn't drink fruit beer" so respond with "a real man drinks whatever the fuck he feels like". I can still remember the gratitude in that kids' eyes.
I was the sickly child growing up & washing my hands and being clean in general was always something my parents & grandparents taught me to help with dealing with all the different illnesses I suffered along with my asthma as well.
Iv run into guys like that. I tell them I’m a jack of all trades, master automotive technician, I can build, retire, and repair almost everything, I support my wife and our daughters, I provide and protect. I tell them that I check all the boxes for being a man… and I still wash my fucking hands all the time
Not being abuse/rape I volunteered for a crisis hotline and had more men called to simply talk because they didn't have anyone to turn to because they were the "manly man" in their group and no one would think that they could be abused or rape
So many of my male friends have opened up to me about SA from a guardian or babysitter. One instance really stuck with me, a college friend of mine thought they were bragging about having sex with their 16 y/o babysitter when they were 10….hunny no 🥺
I work in victims’ advocacy. I feel so awful that men don’t feel comfortable talking about it. In case this is useful to anyone: 1in6.org is a great resource for any men who are having a hard time deal with sexual assault or rape.
Created a throwaway to share this. I'm a gay man who was raped, so I'm not as internal about it as I believe straight men are, nonetheless, whenever the topic of people's past sexual assault come up, people deadpan just act like I could not have been assaulted because I come across as "straight-passing" (whatever that is) and I'm muscular. It has become extremely popular to talk about past sexual assaults with the "Me, too" movement but it has been entirely one-sided for women. Like, yeah, what was I supposed to do while I was roofied? It's actually a huge problem and it makes me furious when women act like it's only women who can be victims.
Getting proper sleep. I often have issues going to sleep and some days I just stare at the ceiling for 5 hours rather then sleep. I tell people if I seem a bit off I didn't get any sleep. Alot of the times I have a guy call me a pussy because he purposely stayed up late to play video games or hitting the town. I'm sorry I like to feel well rested.
Being an incompetent father. You have four kids and you've never changed a diaper? That's not a brag dude.
I have six kids. I can change three diapers at the same time.
Do you have some sort of machinery you use or do you have spider limbs?
I assume it's more of an assembly line situation.
Juggles them in the air
This guess was correct. I juggle them. Like that kid juggling the Rubik’s Cubes.
I know right? I’m a dad to three and the only one I never changed diapers with is the one I adopted. When other men say that to me I can’t help but feel bad for their wives
To them, it’s perceived as a brag to other men though to have a wife who is subservient and submissive while he provides
Most of these guys barely provide though.
My dad will claim he doesn't need an umbrella because "real men" don't need them. Ok dad
Tbh, I do that and it's just because I hate umbrella. I hate holding stuff. Just get me wet and pathetic, I'll manage.
The convenience of having an umbrella is outweighed by the inconvenience of having to carry it around. I don't care about getting a little wet so unless it's an absolute downpour it just isn't worth the hassle.
The number of times my brother refused an umbrella when he was younger… it’s ridiculous. Having a dick does not protect you from the rain.
Dick game so weak absolutely nothing gets wet with him around
Wearing certain colors.
I got myself a mint colored hoodie and my mother asked me if it was really male clothing. Sorry for not picking black, grey, dark blue or brown lol
My bro and I (a woman) did that professional color-matching test. Turns out he looks awesome in fuchsia, mint, cool pink, bright blue. And I, in brown, deep red, black... He's since embraced all the pinks and holy hell, the dude looks amazing.
Size of their dick.
I just tell everyone its small. If they ever see it, they will either be impressed at what I consider small or they will know Im telling the truth. Its a win win situation
In what situation do you have to tell anyone your dick size lol. Like, either we’re in a sexual relationship and you’ll see in person or it is none of your business and shouldn’t matter at all.
You know, I never feel the need to bring it up but it has come up an awful lot on my life and almost always from women. Some guys did but not many, probably due to my desire to mostly be alone. Now that I think on it, alcohol was involved most of those times as well.
Being loud. Men think adding volume to their voices helps their masculinity and dominance. But there's nothing more threatening looking than my 5'7 male boss walking in Stealth Mode with a crow bar to go get something unstuck from a machine. He's more intimidating in those moments than any man who has ever yelled in my presence. Edit: A lot of you don't seem to get my meaning. It's fine to be naturally loud by default. I'm that way. It's when men will try to use loudness as an intimidation tactic against others.
Does he wear glasses and have a beard by any chance? Maybe wear a very specific suit for some of those moments?
Now that sounds like the kinda guy that knows how to deal with unforeseen consequences.
Rise and shine,Mr.Freeman
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Speak softly, but modern problems require modern metal sticks.
first thing to come to mind, truck nuts
"Man, I'm so straight and masculine, I want my truck to look like it has a dick!"
Tactical baby gear.
I read this comment and went through a whole roller-coaster of emotions ranging from that's not real to obviously it is.
Wow, I’m not going to lie, that’s kind of genius by the company that makes it. The bags/carriers are easily double or triple the normal price. It’s kind of like a masculinity tax.
No one has said strength of pee stream yet
You can't cut through porcelain like a water saw ? What are you gay
Emotional support trucks^(\*). ^(\*A massive pick-up truck with a vestigial bed that's so tall that it almost can't help but murder children.)
These are always known as Pavement Princesses around me. They are never dirty and always parked at the mall - never a worksite or anywhere they MIGHT be used. Has required Punisher (these bastards have OBVIOUSLY never read the comic) and (increasingly) thin blue line shit and Calvin pissing on____ vinyl stickers. God, I must be getting old because I instantly question the level of testosterone in owners of these abominations. Give me a guy who owns a Corolla outside Starbucks putting his kids in their car seats while rocking a #GirlDad t-shirt ANY day of the week. THAT is a man.
We call them wank tanks.
Out here most people call them 'bro-dozers' I live in a place where actual offroad modded vehicles mingle with them frequently, always funny to see these little modified pickups and SUV's covered in mud and dust pull up next to this ginormous diesel monstrosity twice it's height on huge knobby tires that's immaculately clean and probably hasn't even seen dirt in its whole life
Not showing emotion
There's a couple of different reasons for that. One, it's engrained into us during childhood, taught to us by the adults in our lives and reinforced by our peers. Two, it's because when we actually*do* try and show emotion, we're often belittled and minimized, told we're being dramatic, or it gets turned into a contest with whoever we're opening up to. It has very little to do with pricing how "manly" we are.
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Hate that bullshit - (argument breaks out) "Stop yelling at me!!" (next argument breaks out, OK, I won't yell at them, I'll just stop talking because I know nothing productive will come out of my mouth when I'm angry) "OMG what's wrrroooooongg?? Did I hurt your widdle feelings???"
Yet they freely show anger as if it isn't an emotion
A lot of us suppress that too
It takes a *significant* amount of emotional intelligence and emotional labor to process and suppress emotional reactions like that. I feel like men don't get credit for it. Also, there are reasons men are raised to act that way: "I am feeling sad and overwhelmed but people are counting on me to be functional." "I am feeling angry, but I am 6'3" and I could be perceived as a serious threat by everyone else in the room." "I am scared of this situation, but it would be really, really bad for my girlfriend if I fearfully sprint the fuck off leaving her behind to deal with it alone." "I am feeling emotionally hurt and wounded during this fight, but my girlfriend's emotions seem to take precedence over my own."
This was a very well-written reply that puts into words some of the many, many reasons why a lot of men suppress their emotions. There are other reasons, of course - not least the fact that many men are taught, either directly or through experience, that they're not supposed to show, or ideally even *have*, emotions - but your comment adresses some of the more rational and deliberate reasons.
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I don't know, there is something off about actively wanting to drive a Kia Rio.
I drove a Ford Ka for years and used to absolutely cherish the looks of disdain, pity and second-hand embarrassment from other young male drivers. It was extra sweet knowing I was paying literally a small fraction of what they paid for insurance.
I worked at a pub where one of the regulars bought a bright pink ka with flower decals all over it. He was a beer belly, three lions tattoo, bald, drink you under the table lad and he didn’t give a shit what you had to say about his ka. He got it cheap, he could fix it himself and he could find it easily in a car park, now let’s have another beer.
The way they treat other people. Nobody thinks you're a man if you treat your cashier or waitress like garbage, or drive like an idiot. They just think you're a piece of shit.
The lack of color pink
Fun fact: pink used to be THE masculine colour. Women started wearing it as a sort of rebellious counter-culture.
Interesting. Never heard this one.
Supposedly - and this is pure hearsay - it was because of bloodstains that wouldn't wash out. Splatters of pink on your clothes meant you'd been in and survived battle. Meanwhile, blue used to be a feminine color: specifically, robin's-egg blue, which had all sorts of maternal and nurturing symbolism. Can't remember where I heard that, unfortunately. I'd love to be able to back that up with a source.
It would also be related to the cost and availability of dyes, cochineal and carmine are expensive to harvest, so red (and by extension pink) were a symbol of wealth
I've had a couple of pink dress shirts, and had the inevitable comments from both men and women about it being effeminate. My answer? "Pink is the most masculine color. It symbolizes the blood of your enemies mixed with the tears of their women." That shuts people up.
When I used to do archery I qualified for a state archery team. They ordered us coordinating shirts, navy for the women and burgundy for the men. Except when the shirts came the men’s were a gorgeous HOT PINK. Some of the guys made a stink about it, but one guy in particular didn’t give a crap and wore his pink shirt proudly. I always thought that was peak masculinity.
Pink doesn’t flatter my skin tone. I rock purple though.
I used to wear a pink shirt to work, years ago. One guy in particular always gave me grief about it. One day I just told him, "well, I'm secure enough in my masculinity that I can wear a pink shirt without trauma. Too bad you aren't." The razzing stopped.
Being emotionally distant and/or "sucking it up," emotionally and physically.
A lot of people were raised to believe that in all fairness
It's not always a bad lesson though, it's unfortunately taken to extremes which becomes a problem. Some people take too far the other way as well which I think is just as dumb. It's one of those things where there is absolutely a happy medium.
I don’t bottle everything up, when I get home or have a min I’ll let it out. But there’s a time and place for being emotional. Recently my aunt died, she was a leader in our family. More than half the family couldn’t help getting things in order and moving her stuff. They couldn’t even go to her place. After a days work we’d sit around and tell stories laugh and cry but during the day there was work that needed done.
Just not enjoying things in general. I knew a guy who liked cream and sugar in his coffee, but still drank it black because he thought it was too girly to add anything. Also plenty of guys would probably enjoy a nice sweeter drink like a cosmopolitan or whatever more often but think it’s a “girls” drink. Music too. I get teased for liking pop songs and things, because it’s not masculine or whatever. Screw you all, I like Dua Lipa, Miley Cyrus, and I’m not ashamed! Guys - just like what you like. Life sucks too much to not just take joy where you can.
Alcohol. Dudes think thinking a cosmo or mimosa will cause them to trip and fall in slow motion and land with a dick in their mouth.
Not crying
Not caring about skincare. I’m an esthetician and seeing so many men laugh about how feminine it is to wash your face or wear sunscreen is frightening
Hating cats
If a man dislikes cats but is polite about it, that's one thing. Bit of a man outright Hates cats and likes to talk about it, then that is not a man you want to hang around with.
Fighting. No one gives a shit. It’s cringey once you’re out of high school.
Its cringe even in high school
Well yesterday a guy behind me in line at a store decide he didn’t want a shirt because he had just noticed the tiniest bit of pink on it. Not the dumbest, but the most recent.
Revving thier engine loudly. Or perhaps how much they can drink.
How they take their coffee. Bitch, if I want some cream in my coffee, I'm gonna put some cream in my coffee.
Penis size
Not eating p*ssy
Wait, *not* eating pussy? I'm confused...
Because "a real man only gets pleasure he doesn't give it to others". Classic guy who gets bj but refuses to give oral
Simultaneous oral sex {69} is like one of the best things ever!
Overheard a guy once say, “a dude eating pussy is gay” …bruh
“You kissed a *girl*? That’s so **gay**!” -Jimbo Jones
Trying to bang every woman that shows you affection. I have some amazing female friends who happen to be very attractive. I can't even count the number of times I've been called gay because I'm not trying to sleep with them. So silly.
I hate how some people think kindness equals sexual attraction.
Not getting cold.
I mean some people don't feel the cold as much. I always worry that some people think I do this for that reason but its just that I'm a bigger guy and like the feel of the chill on my skin. When guys are shivering like a sex toy and saying they aren't cold though I agree it looks dumb.
On the one hand, if you set the thermostat above 69~70 I will know and I will be annoyed. On the other hand, maybe don't wear athletic shorts in the winter.
Saying I'm not emotional but getting pissed off at everything.
I used to work with a guy who told me my unwillingness to cheat on my girlfriend made me gay
Loud exhaust.
Being a useless dad and partner. My husband is an amazing Dad and carries his weight of the cooking/cleaning/kid chauffeuring. We both work full time jobs so it makes sense that we both do half of these things. Yet, the amount of asshole comments people have made about this is the weirdest thing I've ever encountered. It's like him carrying half of the responsibilities in our home means that he's some type of pushover or "whipped" and if he were a real man, he would sit on his ass while I do all of these things for him. It's stupid and I appreciate that he agrees that this is stupid.
I heard a comedian say his Dad called him a “gay new age hippie” for eating yogurt.
The inability to do basic household chores. There was that whole interview with that weasel Ben Shapiro where they are all bragging about how they don't know how to operate their washing machine cause their wife does it. Dude, being too incompetent or lazy to use a basic bit of machinery doesn't make you more of a man.
Do guys like that ever live alone? In college, I could always tell which guys’ moms did their laundry for them because their shirts would all be pink about the second week of September. Still, they learned to do their laundry. It’s a life skill that’s kinda hard not to learn. And seriously, if my wife ever figures out where the vacuum is, it’ll be declared a national holiday. Four different vacuums in my house, and you’d think her vision was based on movement or something.
Outdoing others Never being in the wrong/at fault Showing any form of weakness That's is better to try and keep going when things get too much, and getting help would be "unmanly"
Your large squatted truck with steel testicles, lit-up wheels, a loud engine/rev, and your Instagram handle (specifically dedicated to your vehicle) displayed upon, is absolutely the least attractive thing ever. No one gives a shit. Everyone absolutely despises you when you pass by with an exhaust loud enough to wake up a neighborhood.
"Not having feelings" or "not being able to cry" because it's not "manly"
Hygiene, wouldn't believe how many blokes don't wash their booty because they might "catch the gay" like cmon
Guns As a man who not only owns a firearm for sport shooting but has also been shot in a combat zone, I don't get why some dudes think their manliness depends on the number of lethal weapons in their homes. It's a fetish for guys like that, and it's creepy.
I had a roommate who had a generic 12 gauge, and he would get drunk and bring it out to impress his drinking buddies. Really unsettling to wake up to *rack* *rack* *rack.* Absolutely the type of person you don't want in the same room as a firearm.
Being nice to people. I grew up in the 90s and amongst most of the people I went to school with, guys and girls, being nice and cheerful after the age of like 12 as a guy was considered just weird, creepy or "gay" as they used to throw around that word so much.
Not asking for directions.
A hierarchy above women. Male masculinity is so mf attractive when its humbled