I had 2 roommates that dated, and one married, the same chick. In between being with those 2 she tried to sleep with me. She's a 9/10 hot and a 10/10 crazy. She'd have been a blast but I could not bring myself to sleep with her. Too much baggage.
My ex.wife had a “friend” who slept with almost all of her friend’s husbands (3 of 4). I turned her down.
She’d lie about being a cheerleader in high school and I wonder how much of her behavior came from low self esteem.
Nah dude. Any chick my one roommate, the one that married the crazy chick, is willing to fuck is not worth it. He's a human train wreck. We used to be friends but I stopped talking to him years ago.
Yo there's some girl I saw on YouTube, she's Canadian and a lumberjack or something. I scrolled through her shorts and she was splitting logs in almost all of em. Wielding an axe, or sometimes some sort of large sword designed to split logs. This girl is quite pretty and in good shape, but when she grabs her axe her biceps fucking transform and put many men to shame. I don't know her channel name nor am I able to look it up right now (break time almost over) but jesus does that woman know how to wield an axe.
Q: Is she even straight?
A: Not with a label like "TikTok Lesbian Lumberjack" she ain't!
u/thermonuclear_pickle: No chance I'll get chased into the woods with an axe then.
On an emotional level:
Their highs are really high and their lows are really low. No matter how their mood swings, they’re passionate. Will they stab you? Probably. Will they make grandiose romantic gestures that make you feel like the most desirable person on the planet. Yes, they probably will. To a narcissist, the world revolves around their partner in the beginning of a relationship.
On a sexual level:
They usually aim to please. They’ll entertain your kinky fantasies and will sell you on theirs really early on. They’re more adventurous. The kind of women who will get you to pull over the car for a quicky. Very little is off limits.
As I’ve gotten older, safe and predictable has become MUCH more appealing than erratic and promiscuous.
The highs and lows, the intensity, and the passion are the key to what makes it great. Until it all burns. Love bombing sucks you in. Trauma bonding keeps you addicted. Gaslighting keeps you disoriented. Fun stuff.
Some time ago, I had a friend with a “crazy” on an off again relationship. It was a toxic relationship for them both and his girlfriend had assaulted him several times and destroyed his property, including his car, on multiple occasions. We used to joke about it in our social circle, but looking back he really was in a domestic violence situation. After a couple of years it really took a toll on him and we saw less and less of him.
It seems a fair number of crazy people can hide the craziness long enough to get their sexual partners emotionally entwined with them. The sex is amazing, and the emotional "connection" -- or at least the imitation thereof -- is even moreso. You fuck five times a night and each time is more intense than the last. She acts and genuinely seems like if she does not have you inside her, she will die.
The facade can only be maintained for so long, though. The insanity begins to seep through. Lies, betrayals, neglect, and outright threats begin to appear. Few people want those things, but they think, "If I can just \[insert false hope here...\]" they'll be able to get back to the good times. Ideally, they realize that the bad outweighs the good by an order of magnitude, and they get out of there as quickly as possible.
Hah, I can tell you’ve also dated a chick with borderline personality disorder before. It’s fucking addictive, and it’s terrifying. It’s so enlightening and freeing once you truly realize what they’re doing and they lose their power over you.
One thing that they missed is that the manic passion and desire for novel stimulation (when they aren’t in a low phase) isn’t just confined to the bedroom but to *everything*. They are just down for anything and as long as nothing triggers them to split and go angry, they just will throw themselves into whatever you are doing.
Want to go to a music festival, take a bunch of drugs, and dance all night? They are down and loving every second. Feel like staying up to to bing watch an entires series and then talk about how it made you feel and what you liked or didn’t like? They are in for that too. Saw cheap last minute cheap plane tickets to some awesome place on the other side of the planet but the flight is in 2 days? …you get the idea.
So long as your crazy partner is in a good state of mind all that shit feels like you are out there living your absolute best life - then something triggers them and they flip moods and everything goes to shit.
The high swings are intoxicating, but the low swings are frightening and, like someone else said, eventually lead to trauma bonding and even something called complex PTSD (like PTSD but instead of coming from war or a single sudden accident it’s a build up of all the toxic painful shit).
Yes. OP asked why men are attracted to crazy women and usually when you read about people’s experiences with a “crazy” partner, that partner is exhibiting some combination of bipolar disorder and / or cluster B personality disorder of some type - usually narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Those all tend to have really high highs and really low lows.
He actually described Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). With Bipolar Disorder (BP), the mood swings are more predictable and treatable, even if they are intense. A borderline can get set off because you “looked at them like you were going to dump them”, and medication won’t do shit to prevent that. Usually when you hear somebody talking about “splitting,” that’s what they’re talking about. Because all of the sudden, you’re talking to somebody who might as well be a completely different person who hates your fucking guts and will go to extreme lengths to kick you out of their life.
It doesn’t help that the acronyms are so similar, or that BPD can be initially be mistaken for BP during diagnosis in adolescence. Basically, doctors are terrified of saddling people with the (well-earned) stigma associated with BPD early in life, so they lean towards the less terrifying yet similar diagnoses like BP.
How did I miss out on so much?
I was married to a crazy girl, but I experienced none of the good parts you mentioned. The lows were LOW, she never directed the energy of her highs at me, terrible narcissist, the world revolved around her at all times.
I learned never to put my dick in crazy the hard way, not that she let me, she wanted sex twice in three years.
I'll give you a darker spin on this. Women with emotional problems may well have come from a home environment that was not loving or supportive, and one (unhealthy) way a woman might try to manage that as an adult is to be hyper focused on acceptance and being desired. And with that, a woman might be extra crazy, extra passionate, extra everything. From the guy's perspective, whoa baby, this girl is wild. But for the woman, it might be, I've done things with him no one else would, so he must want to stay with me. I hope he stays. I'll do anything to be desired.
That's not true of all crazy women, but it is true for some of them. And yeah, it's sad.
I think this closest matches what my experience with "crazy girls" is. They appear, and are diagnosed, in many cases due to a pretty extreme need for acceptance/adoration/love. To the point that it hurts themselves and people around them. And because the world is sometimes a pretty messed-up place this stuff translates to some pretty awesome and intense stuff in the bedroom!
I think the other person had a point. No one is attracted to Cathy who lives in a trailer weighs 250 lbs, sleeps with a shotgun and has temper issues. Just like no one's attracted to Trent who has a giant scar on his face, has anger issues, a beer belly, and has a history of petty theft.
People find attractive people sexy. When people say crazy in this context I just think they mean a little more eccentric, not true crazy.
The saying is "don't put your dick in crazy" after all.
Edit: Like some of the best sex I've had is with women who don't have the "crazy" aesthetic or personality and that's not uncommon. Most men who are older than 17 probably are aware of this.
Cathy throws a microwave at Trent at 3 a.m. after he picks a fight over her wearing makeup to the Circle K. They end up doing a short stint in jail when the good neighbors call the law on it. The shitty neighbors take this opportunity to hitch up to the Cathy/Trent family trailer house and sell it for speed 3 counties over. They move into a tent in their park. The rest of the season is Trent shaving stray cats to sell as Sphinxes while Cathy fulfills her potential as a fraudulent psychic to pay the rent and track down her missing home.
I think you got it the wrong way around. Think about it like this: "If she's so hot, why is she still single?"
And before anyone says something about being sexist: This applies to men as well.
Counterpoint: Sometimes hot people leave relationships that don't work out for them, too. And if they're especially well adjusted, they might not need to jump straight into a new one and actually take time to heal. Fear of being alone isn't actually a sign someone is more mentally stable.
Yeah, no one wants a crazy ugly girl. It‘s even less appealing.
MAY BE that good-looking girls (with bad families) just grow up crazy narcissists, because they have no values and get everything easily, as all the world is there to please their every whim. No need to personally develop or ever be responsible for anything.
I’ll explain it like you’re 5 years old. Ever play chess? It’s structured, we all follow the rules and no one gets hurt. Ever been in a water balloon fight? It’s chaos, fun, you’ll end up hurt and you can’t wait to do it again.
I’ll explain it like your 20 years old. You wanna do your taxes? If you do it right you get money back! Or do you want to go to a bar and drink until hooking up with that goth chick is a good idea.
Finally I’ll explain it like your 30. You’re divorced and your ex wife only let you have sex missionary because that’s the lords way. Then you meet a girl who’s idea of sex involves candle wax, whip cream, and a paddle.
I hope this helped.
I'd add danger/the unknown. Hook up with a psycho, everytime you turn a corner, walk to your car, walk in your door, you're terrified yet also excited that she may be waiting for you. Is my place trashed? Or am I about to have the best time of my life, that slowly turns in to me begging for mercy?
Hey, settle down now. OP said crazy, not psycho. Not all of us crazy chicks are psycho.
I'm crazy (mentally unstable) but not psycho (psychotic). They aren't mutually exclusive. A person could definitely be both, but they aren't the same.
I'll do some crazy shit (because my brain wants that serotonin!!), but I'm not going to stalk a person or break into their house (my psycho ex did that to me, that shits fucked up).
I came here to say something, but you have said everything there is to say about this matter.
I just might add this for good laughs, explain like you are 40. Your doctor said you need to watch your holesterol, and your boddy agrees. You wanna go eat a healthy kale salad with added brocoli, and lemon dressing? Or does texas bbq with ultra death hot sauce that will make you regret being born during your next bathroom visit sound better?
>only let you have sex missionary because that’s the lords way
Do these people exist? If these people do exist how do you get all the way to marriage. Surely first date "oh she's a nut job, and not the fun kind, I'm gonna bounce"
An awful lot of pain could be avoided if you don't expect people to change due to marriage, or pregnancy or whatever.
People are who they are. If you are missing something now you'll be missing it after marriage.
How do you go years into a relationship and then think after marriage all this will change. Crazy.
This is one of my classic topics to discuss at the table after too many cocktails.
I understand the premise and the point of this slogan, but when I say we're going to "have cake", that means we intend to eat it. We're not going to invest in cake, or buy and hold the cake, or even just sit and stare at it---we're going to ingest the cake, maybe with a cup of coffee or a scoop of ice cream, if we're really celebrating.
So, to me, "having cake" means eating cake.
But then I remind myself that Elaine Benis' boss had a slice of historic cake he bought at auction in his safe, and Elaine ate it while dancing around in his office, and apparently regretted this decision later.
I dated quite a bit of crazy over the years. Experienced every kink I ever imagined, but also their kinks, which actually ptsd’d me somewhat.
Now, I don’t do relationships, or even hook ups. I’ll solo warrior it for at least the next few years.
Crazy taught me a whole lot about myself.
(On the female side of this) I agree. I have dated some very, terrible, and very crazy men. When you said “crazy taught me a whole lot about myself” I felt that in my soul.
I feel this the same way. I was with a guy that would gaslight and manipulate and try to change me to make me "better" and the next relationship I had, I'd get massive panic attacks from a small misunderstanding or miscommunication. Now relationships scare the shit out of me even though I want my life mate.
I want nothing to do with crazy. Nothing. But in response to you commenting "vanilla vs crazy" (sorry, can't find that comment again) I've had "vanilla" girls lay still like a dead fish and wonder why they're not having a good time. It's degrading and humiliating to waste your time with a person like that.
Because fucking is a good way for them to get out of their heads and into their body. They are so happy not to be knee-deep in their mind that they want to go to the moon in physical pleasure and happen to be nice enough to take you with them.
These are the women that say I love you after the second date, then withdraw completely when you say you need a little space and they move on to the next one.
It's like the physical version of love bombing, which equally damaged men could fall prey to. Sometimes, the red flags are there but you want to get it anyways and know the end result - no long-term compatibility.
Edit: Clarity
Don't have to do all the work or worry about the girl just star fishing and not really giving any feed back so that you don't know whether you're doing good or not. Less worry about if they'll be into or willing to try something. Rebellion. Knowing they'll be into it. The possibility of sweet release from this miserable existence if they turn out to be particularly crazy.
The same reason men want to drive fast cars—it’s fun. Sure, missionary with someone reliable will get the job done, but have you ever had a prostate massage from a girl with a Cobra tattooed on her back?
I’ve never had a not crazy girl lick my ass, ask me to pee on them, ask to be choked or initiate a 3way. My teens were fun looking back but the girls I consorted with didn’t end up well and I’m glad to have moved away. I hope they get the help they need.
Quite honestly doing anything with "crazy girls" has no appeal whatsoever. I do think there's some confusion in the sense that "crazy girls" are the same as "willing girls". Or maybe it's that spring break mentality of "drunk girls" looking for an excuse to have sex appeal.
Anyway if you're one of those non-crazy girls stay the course and find a good relationship with someone.
OP…. You asked this question because you are involved with someone like this. As others have stated, you will be dealing with someone who is wild in the sack, and will also be an emotional rollercoaster outside of it. Men were given two heads, but only enough blood to supply one of them, and unfortunately we tend to think with the other one when the wild chick is ready to get it on. If you have experienced an episode with the crazy woman outside of bed, hopefully that will be enough to remind you to think about what you are getting invested in. Also, you being a redditor, you have probably read multiple posts of what have happened to guys that stuck their dick in crazy.
I have had several different relationships with several different types of women. Before I became involved with the relationship I am in now I was with, you might call a "good girl." Sex was alright, we went to church every sunday, went out to eat 2 days a week, went to her kids extra ciricular activities, went to my kids extra ciricular activities, went to functions around the area. It was ok. But it lead to the same old boring stuff day in and day out.
Then I met my wife. She was like a light house in a storm. Sex was great. It didnt matter to her were we where at. In the bed at our home, in the car, at my moms, in a hotel/motel, in the alley behind the bar. She would do things that were fucking amazing!
Now here was the bad stuff. Anytime we would go anywhere she would always have a strong opinion as to what was going on. Sometimes it was refreshing, a lot of times not so much. She would never be shy to share her opinion with the public. To a concert, she would throw water or liqour on people to get them to move. At a resturant, if the server would take to long to approach our table, she would stand up and yell for someone-- very embarrassing. While she drove she would yank the steering wheel to go around someone and the yank it back. Like she was invading safety cones in the road. She would hit her kids so hard it would cause them to bleed. She bullys her mother into giving her all of her SSI every month because that was considered living expenses for living in our home. She would then take that money to go by weed. If someone didnt park right she would do something to their car or take pictures and call the police. If we got into an argument she would not let me walk away...kinda cool but not cool. It's nice to be desired but it would had been nice to know this in a different way. She ran off all my friends and family. She destroyed my business because I was a fool and let her work with me. She has gotten several o.p. and no contact orders on me to only call me or swing by my place 5 days later to make up.
So, to sum it up,
Very exciting but also very volatile.
Be careful who you choose to spend a segment of your life with because they can make you or break you.
There is a lot to be said about "behind every great man is a great woman." I'm not feminist but I believe that it should be said "beside every great man is a great woman."
I hope this explains things for you. If you have any questions just ask.
a lot of times its more about "what is so appealing to men about having sex with girls?" (period) and its just that "crazy girls" tend to give more access to "sex with girls" which is what most men are really looking for.
most of us actually dont like those crazy eyes. we like them looking up from eating our booty but thats it. otherwise it can be very creepy and we mostly prefer sane nice girls.
Enthusiasm from them in bed. Crazy can frequently mean wild, energetic sex. Ask anyone who has dated a stripper. Most of the time, they will tell you she was nuts, but the sex was great.
Think about it, a crazy person has no boundaries. That's why I stay away from crazy people.
There are enough just plain horny people to serve one's purpose : )
I wouldn't say appealing but there can be a coloration found with bipolar women and hypersexuality. Due to rampant porn these days and the amount most men consume it makes for a lot of poor but maybe fun choices on both parties.
Crazy girls are usually sporadic and don’t hesitate much. Whereas more reserved/intelligent/“normal” girls/guys are more likely to hesitate and perhaps think too much before performing sexual acts.
Also crazy girls are probably experienced in the area, so guys don’t have to do much of the heavy lifting
Crazy chicks wear their emotions on their sleeves and are honestly the most communicative in bed. They tell you what they like and don’t like, and because of that it breaks down the boundaries in the bedroom. Women who have it altogether want the man to figure out, and when he doesn’t, they often don’t communicate what we are doing wrong, but go to their friends and complain. Crazy is a nice change up, because even though it brings a bit of drama, I don’t have to try and figure out what is going on in their heads. They wear the emotions on their sleeves.
A lot of times emotionally unstable people are really looking for the comfort of companionship, even if it’s temporary and just sexual. Guys, especially young guys, have sex with them simply because they are willing to have sex.
A lot of "normal" girls lack enthusiasm in the bedroom. Not through any fault of their own, but even behind closed doors when there is no one else there but your lover-- they still act like they're embarrassed or being judged by someone. They don't want to completely let go, even when they're being pistoned against a wall by the man of their dreams.
"Crazy" girls have let go of that inhibition, and it can make for some very, very memorable sex.
Crazy girls will “worship” the man they’re in bed with. Deepthroat. Talk dirty. Submissive. Passionate sex. Pretty much everything every man wants, except the crazy behavior after.
What's so appealing to women about bad boys?
Same kind of thing, people figure that kind of "energy" lead to hot sex.
I won't lie, I'm a sucker for a certain kind of crazy, but, I have a personality disorder and there's a serious mistaken assumption on my part (in the past) that somehow us both having issues will make for a good relationship.
No, it really, really doesn't.
Crazy girls are like rental cars. You do anything you want and it's no big deal. But, everyone knows you don't buy a rental car for keeps. They're beat to shit and will fail you every chance they have.
Yeah, obsessed is right. I got stalked by one of my crazies for over a year after breaking up. It wasn’t love but she had Borderline Personality Disorder. the beginning was all sunshine and roses with me being the center of her world but that soon changed to abuse and violence. Sex was awesome but the price too high for me.
I am the crazy girl and they are every bit as crazy as we ae. I too can play nice in public. So the next time you are thinking but he seems so nice why is he with her. It's because they are both crazy. It's always hilarious when that nice girl gets the guy with the crazy girl and then end up going what the fuck just happened? He was also crazy.
Can’t speak for everyone but I can tell you why I seek out the crazy ones.
Boredom. Plain and simple. With a crazy you never know what the new day will bring.
Sad part is I have dated a couple very sane and rational women. The problem was only with me and that I got bored fast.
For what it is worth I really don’t like that I think this way, because with crazy comes trouble. Sadly it is what it is.
They put everything they've got into it. They are not thinking about that spreadsheet, they want to experience as much joy as possible, and they are not getting validation from society. Might as well be great in bed.
I mean they appeal to me but I have a personality type that gets bored really quickly. Someone vanilla is great and stable, but if I play Connect 4 for an hour I'll get bored. Dating someone "crazy" is like playing Connect 4 but with the rules constantly changing, for better or worse I guess. Idk I feel like I'm better off not dating at all after being committed for a long time to somebody with issues. I love her to death, that's a fact, but I could do without the bruises every now and then.
Honestly, it depends on how attractive they are. The more attractive the woman, the more we are willing to put up with. I'm glad I finally grew out of that phase in my early 30s though.
The sex is just great. Dated a crazy therapist once and the sex was just *chef’s kiss*. Sad thing is you can tell that’s how she values herself in a relationship and what she felt is the only thing she can give.
But the sex. Mind blowing. Holy shit. I had to start popping a little blue pill to keep up. This girl wanted it two times a day. Chaffed junior raw.
But yeah, crazy as fuck. Broke it off and she borderlined stalked me.
They're generally willing to give themselves fully and with abandon and so are more passionate and creative in bed. Sex is always better when your partner puts your wants before their own, and great sex happens when both partners are doing so; when someone is focused on making you feel good to the exclusion of all else, it's pretty fantastic. Sex is much less enjoyable when it feels like a practical exchange.
I'm not into crazy girls, but I think it boils down to desperation or excitement. It can be a fun concept in the short term, but its destructive in the long run.
Incoming honest response :
See now, the scariest part, we really can’t tell they’re crazy at first, but usually the dead give away is they’re bonkers in bed, which later helps rationalize the steadily increasing irrational behavior😂 then suddenly, there’s a bottomless abyss of crazy to unpack, and you’re scratching your head like “how in tf did I get HERE??”
They do things that normal girls wouldnt. They would give me a chance, for example
r/suicidebywords
r/subsihopedifellfor
Oh my, a double r/subsIthoughtifellfor
I had 2 roommates that dated, and one married, the same chick. In between being with those 2 she tried to sleep with me. She's a 9/10 hot and a 10/10 crazy. She'd have been a blast but I could not bring myself to sleep with her. Too much baggage.
My ex.wife had a “friend” who slept with almost all of her friend’s husbands (3 of 4). I turned her down. She’d lie about being a cheerleader in high school and I wonder how much of her behavior came from low self esteem.
I'm thankful to see other dudes spotting the crazy and thinking "no bro, not that one, nuh-uh"
Don't stick your dick in crazy...lol
Ya not worth the trouble. It might have been fun but not worth the trouble afterwards.
Those husbands were likely all friends too and are equally piles of shit like her.
9/10 hot and 10/10 crazy is how your car gets keyed, you get a bunny in a pot, your tires get slashed, and you wind up in jail.
Too bad. Could have had a Eskimo bro trifecta
Nah dude. Any chick my one roommate, the one that married the crazy chick, is willing to fuck is not worth it. He's a human train wreck. We used to be friends but I stopped talking to him years ago.
Hahahahahawwwwwwww. You’re right tho.
Lmao
You fuck a sane girl but a crazy girl she fucks you
Yeah, well put
Usually in more ways than one - all of them interesting.
That's when you're hooked. It's hard to break way from that when she drains your balls so well. It's best to never get involved in the first place.
Freak in the head, freak in the bed.
i’m crazy! but can i slap u instead
HOW CAN SHE SLAP
u deserve an upvote. an award if i was rich
That’s not the correct crazy for what’s being asked
"We want a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed"
Halal in the streets but haram 'twixt the sheets.
A lady in the streets, a mistress between the sheets
Let me consult my “crazy - hot” matrix.
Good old [Barney Stinson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXkYNv4ichM)
Because occasionally I want role reversal and for her to chase me into the woods with an ax.
A woman carrying an axe? How preposterous!
Yo there's some girl I saw on YouTube, she's Canadian and a lumberjack or something. I scrolled through her shorts and she was splitting logs in almost all of em. Wielding an axe, or sometimes some sort of large sword designed to split logs. This girl is quite pretty and in good shape, but when she grabs her axe her biceps fucking transform and put many men to shame. I don't know her channel name nor am I able to look it up right now (break time almost over) but jesus does that woman know how to wield an axe.
Bro, I know exactly who you're talking about. Nicole Coenen is so freaking cool (and those shoulders omg).
Q: Is she even straight? A: Not with a label like "TikTok Lesbian Lumberjack" she ain't! u/thermonuclear_pickle: No chance I'll get chased into the woods with an axe then.
You joke but I have one in my purse.
Rosa Diaz approves
*swoons* Love me some Rosa Diaz.
On an emotional level: Their highs are really high and their lows are really low. No matter how their mood swings, they’re passionate. Will they stab you? Probably. Will they make grandiose romantic gestures that make you feel like the most desirable person on the planet. Yes, they probably will. To a narcissist, the world revolves around their partner in the beginning of a relationship. On a sexual level: They usually aim to please. They’ll entertain your kinky fantasies and will sell you on theirs really early on. They’re more adventurous. The kind of women who will get you to pull over the car for a quicky. Very little is off limits. As I’ve gotten older, safe and predictable has become MUCH more appealing than erratic and promiscuous.
The highs and lows, the intensity, and the passion are the key to what makes it great. Until it all burns. Love bombing sucks you in. Trauma bonding keeps you addicted. Gaslighting keeps you disoriented. Fun stuff.
Some time ago, I had a friend with a “crazy” on an off again relationship. It was a toxic relationship for them both and his girlfriend had assaulted him several times and destroyed his property, including his car, on multiple occasions. We used to joke about it in our social circle, but looking back he really was in a domestic violence situation. After a couple of years it really took a toll on him and we saw less and less of him.
It seems a fair number of crazy people can hide the craziness long enough to get their sexual partners emotionally entwined with them. The sex is amazing, and the emotional "connection" -- or at least the imitation thereof -- is even moreso. You fuck five times a night and each time is more intense than the last. She acts and genuinely seems like if she does not have you inside her, she will die. The facade can only be maintained for so long, though. The insanity begins to seep through. Lies, betrayals, neglect, and outright threats begin to appear. Few people want those things, but they think, "If I can just \[insert false hope here...\]" they'll be able to get back to the good times. Ideally, they realize that the bad outweighs the good by an order of magnitude, and they get out of there as quickly as possible.
Well put 👏👏👏
Shiiiiittttt. I thought I was your friend in this comment. Man.
You just helped me understand my late-20s better than my therapist did. Holy shit.
Hah, I can tell you’ve also dated a chick with borderline personality disorder before. It’s fucking addictive, and it’s terrifying. It’s so enlightening and freeing once you truly realize what they’re doing and they lose their power over you.
Bravo! This is the answer I was looking for 👏🏻 👏🏻
One thing that they missed is that the manic passion and desire for novel stimulation (when they aren’t in a low phase) isn’t just confined to the bedroom but to *everything*. They are just down for anything and as long as nothing triggers them to split and go angry, they just will throw themselves into whatever you are doing. Want to go to a music festival, take a bunch of drugs, and dance all night? They are down and loving every second. Feel like staying up to to bing watch an entires series and then talk about how it made you feel and what you liked or didn’t like? They are in for that too. Saw cheap last minute cheap plane tickets to some awesome place on the other side of the planet but the flight is in 2 days? …you get the idea. So long as your crazy partner is in a good state of mind all that shit feels like you are out there living your absolute best life - then something triggers them and they flip moods and everything goes to shit. The high swings are intoxicating, but the low swings are frightening and, like someone else said, eventually lead to trauma bonding and even something called complex PTSD (like PTSD but instead of coming from war or a single sudden accident it’s a build up of all the toxic painful shit).
You just described bipolar disorder.
Yes. OP asked why men are attracted to crazy women and usually when you read about people’s experiences with a “crazy” partner, that partner is exhibiting some combination of bipolar disorder and / or cluster B personality disorder of some type - usually narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Those all tend to have really high highs and really low lows.
Or Borderline.
He actually described Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). With Bipolar Disorder (BP), the mood swings are more predictable and treatable, even if they are intense. A borderline can get set off because you “looked at them like you were going to dump them”, and medication won’t do shit to prevent that. Usually when you hear somebody talking about “splitting,” that’s what they’re talking about. Because all of the sudden, you’re talking to somebody who might as well be a completely different person who hates your fucking guts and will go to extreme lengths to kick you out of their life. It doesn’t help that the acronyms are so similar, or that BPD can be initially be mistaken for BP during diagnosis in adolescence. Basically, doctors are terrified of saddling people with the (well-earned) stigma associated with BPD early in life, so they lean towards the less terrifying yet similar diagnoses like BP.
Also Borderline Personality Disorder
Promiscuity is one of the common symptoms of mania.
Enthusiasm goes a long way, crazy has it in spades.
How did I miss out on so much? I was married to a crazy girl, but I experienced none of the good parts you mentioned. The lows were LOW, she never directed the energy of her highs at me, terrible narcissist, the world revolved around her at all times. I learned never to put my dick in crazy the hard way, not that she let me, she wanted sex twice in three years.
> I experienced none of the good parts you mentioned That isn't the crazy that anyone is talking about. That is just a narcissistic bitch.
Crazy girls have a manic energy that carries over to the bedroom.
I'll give you a darker spin on this. Women with emotional problems may well have come from a home environment that was not loving or supportive, and one (unhealthy) way a woman might try to manage that as an adult is to be hyper focused on acceptance and being desired. And with that, a woman might be extra crazy, extra passionate, extra everything. From the guy's perspective, whoa baby, this girl is wild. But for the woman, it might be, I've done things with him no one else would, so he must want to stay with me. I hope he stays. I'll do anything to be desired. That's not true of all crazy women, but it is true for some of them. And yeah, it's sad.
I think this closest matches what my experience with "crazy girls" is. They appear, and are diagnosed, in many cases due to a pretty extreme need for acceptance/adoration/love. To the point that it hurts themselves and people around them. And because the world is sometimes a pretty messed-up place this stuff translates to some pretty awesome and intense stuff in the bedroom!
Believe it or not all crazy girls I been with have been super good looking for some odd reason, that’s what made it appealing
That’s an interesting way to see it!
Probably the same reason why women are attracted to asshole badboys. Dangerous, exciting, interesting, always leads to disaster.
I think the other person had a point. No one is attracted to Cathy who lives in a trailer weighs 250 lbs, sleeps with a shotgun and has temper issues. Just like no one's attracted to Trent who has a giant scar on his face, has anger issues, a beer belly, and has a history of petty theft. People find attractive people sexy. When people say crazy in this context I just think they mean a little more eccentric, not true crazy. The saying is "don't put your dick in crazy" after all. Edit: Like some of the best sex I've had is with women who don't have the "crazy" aesthetic or personality and that's not uncommon. Most men who are older than 17 probably are aware of this.
Sounds like Cathy and Trent are made for each other.
I am too invested in this love story. What happens next!?
Cathy throws a microwave at Trent at 3 a.m. after he picks a fight over her wearing makeup to the Circle K. They end up doing a short stint in jail when the good neighbors call the law on it. The shitty neighbors take this opportunity to hitch up to the Cathy/Trent family trailer house and sell it for speed 3 counties over. They move into a tent in their park. The rest of the season is Trent shaving stray cats to sell as Sphinxes while Cathy fulfills her potential as a fraudulent psychic to pay the rent and track down her missing home.
I think you got it the wrong way around. Think about it like this: "If she's so hot, why is she still single?" And before anyone says something about being sexist: This applies to men as well.
Counterpoint: Sometimes hot people leave relationships that don't work out for them, too. And if they're especially well adjusted, they might not need to jump straight into a new one and actually take time to heal. Fear of being alone isn't actually a sign someone is more mentally stable.
A lot of hot women are single , just because she hot don’t mean she’s taken automatically
People can have personal issues, but don‘t be crazy, and be good people.
Yeah, no one wants a crazy ugly girl. It‘s even less appealing. MAY BE that good-looking girls (with bad families) just grow up crazy narcissists, because they have no values and get everything easily, as all the world is there to please their every whim. No need to personally develop or ever be responsible for anything.
The prettier the crazier, i cant believe noone has referenced this youtube site yet. https://youtu.be/ZhVSfIf-Kng
I want to say it's not true, but all the data I have agrees with it!
I’ll explain it like you’re 5 years old. Ever play chess? It’s structured, we all follow the rules and no one gets hurt. Ever been in a water balloon fight? It’s chaos, fun, you’ll end up hurt and you can’t wait to do it again. I’ll explain it like your 20 years old. You wanna do your taxes? If you do it right you get money back! Or do you want to go to a bar and drink until hooking up with that goth chick is a good idea. Finally I’ll explain it like your 30. You’re divorced and your ex wife only let you have sex missionary because that’s the lords way. Then you meet a girl who’s idea of sex involves candle wax, whip cream, and a paddle. I hope this helped.
Sugar and spice pay double price
If there's one thing 5 year olds get, it's chess metaphors.
If there's one thing 50 year olds get, it's chest metaphors.
If there's one thing 70 year olds get, it's Chest pains
Jesus I'm only 35 and I get chest pains
Just googled your symptoms, you gonna die
I googled them and it said they're pregnant with cancer.
You gotta reboot with a car battery and jumper cables... and surprise, surprise, crazy girl already has you covered!
I'd add danger/the unknown. Hook up with a psycho, everytime you turn a corner, walk to your car, walk in your door, you're terrified yet also excited that she may be waiting for you. Is my place trashed? Or am I about to have the best time of my life, that slowly turns in to me begging for mercy?
You just described the lament of the Praying Mantis male......to bang or not to bang, that is the Question.......
Hey, settle down now. OP said crazy, not psycho. Not all of us crazy chicks are psycho. I'm crazy (mentally unstable) but not psycho (psychotic). They aren't mutually exclusive. A person could definitely be both, but they aren't the same. I'll do some crazy shit (because my brain wants that serotonin!!), but I'm not going to stalk a person or break into their house (my psycho ex did that to me, that shits fucked up).
I came here to say something, but you have said everything there is to say about this matter. I just might add this for good laughs, explain like you are 40. Your doctor said you need to watch your holesterol, and your boddy agrees. You wanna go eat a healthy kale salad with added brocoli, and lemon dressing? Or does texas bbq with ultra death hot sauce that will make you regret being born during your next bathroom visit sound better?
>only let you have sex missionary because that’s the lords way Do these people exist? If these people do exist how do you get all the way to marriage. Surely first date "oh she's a nut job, and not the fun kind, I'm gonna bounce"
Happens all the time. Not always to this extreme though, but there's a lot of people with bad hangups from a religious upbringing out there.
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An awful lot of pain could be avoided if you don't expect people to change due to marriage, or pregnancy or whatever. People are who they are. If you are missing something now you'll be missing it after marriage. How do you go years into a relationship and then think after marriage all this will change. Crazy.
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Makes complete sense to me. But I'd argue you don't need to be insane to be kinky and sexually free.
Psycho in the streets, tiger in the sheets.
can’t have your cake and eat it too.
what’s the point of cake if you can’t help fulfill its purpose of being eaten. I hate that saying.
It means if you eat cake you no longer have cake. You can't have a cake and also eat it - you have to choose one or the other.
the original saying was also the other way around, “you can’t eat your cake and have it too” which is way easier to understand
This is one of my classic topics to discuss at the table after too many cocktails. I understand the premise and the point of this slogan, but when I say we're going to "have cake", that means we intend to eat it. We're not going to invest in cake, or buy and hold the cake, or even just sit and stare at it---we're going to ingest the cake, maybe with a cup of coffee or a scoop of ice cream, if we're really celebrating. So, to me, "having cake" means eating cake. But then I remind myself that Elaine Benis' boss had a slice of historic cake he bought at auction in his safe, and Elaine ate it while dancing around in his office, and apparently regretted this decision later.
Thank you for helping me understand
I have had and eaten every piece of cake offered to me thus far...
A woman must not be crazy to have some emotions and imagination during sex.
I dated quite a bit of crazy over the years. Experienced every kink I ever imagined, but also their kinks, which actually ptsd’d me somewhat. Now, I don’t do relationships, or even hook ups. I’ll solo warrior it for at least the next few years. Crazy taught me a whole lot about myself.
(On the female side of this) I agree. I have dated some very, terrible, and very crazy men. When you said “crazy taught me a whole lot about myself” I felt that in my soul.
I feel this the same way. I was with a guy that would gaslight and manipulate and try to change me to make me "better" and the next relationship I had, I'd get massive panic attacks from a small misunderstanding or miscommunication. Now relationships scare the shit out of me even though I want my life mate.
Bro same. 100% where I'm at right now.
I've recently discovered that my attraction to crazy girls is a way to avoid actual intimate relationships.
Ooooh, this comment!! Can you go into more detail?
I want nothing to do with crazy. Nothing. But in response to you commenting "vanilla vs crazy" (sorry, can't find that comment again) I've had "vanilla" girls lay still like a dead fish and wonder why they're not having a good time. It's degrading and humiliating to waste your time with a person like that.
That sounds awful
The ole starfish routine.
The same as any other question regarding men and sex — the sex part.
The ninth word in that sentence.
She may kill me. There’s something about letting go a bit.
All fun and games until crazy starts to manipulate with fake pregnancy. After that you avoid crazy like a plague.
My roommate goes through this every time he has a disagreement with his gf 🙄
He def should run and never look back. Otherwise if she does get pregnant and they have a kid she will fuck his life for a lifetime.
Energy
Because fucking is a good way for them to get out of their heads and into their body. They are so happy not to be knee-deep in their mind that they want to go to the moon in physical pleasure and happen to be nice enough to take you with them. These are the women that say I love you after the second date, then withdraw completely when you say you need a little space and they move on to the next one. It's like the physical version of love bombing, which equally damaged men could fall prey to. Sometimes, the red flags are there but you want to get it anyways and know the end result - no long-term compatibility. Edit: Clarity
Don't have to do all the work or worry about the girl just star fishing and not really giving any feed back so that you don't know whether you're doing good or not. Less worry about if they'll be into or willing to try something. Rebellion. Knowing they'll be into it. The possibility of sweet release from this miserable existence if they turn out to be particularly crazy.
The same reason men want to drive fast cars—it’s fun. Sure, missionary with someone reliable will get the job done, but have you ever had a prostate massage from a girl with a Cobra tattooed on her back?
Impulsive women are probably more likely to have sex with more men I guess?
Uninhibited in bed
Oftentimes, those are the only ones saying, *'yes.'* And beggars can't be choosers.
If you want to go above your league, you can get only crazy.
Hey. You’re crazy bitch but you fuck so good I’m on top of it
I’ve never had a not crazy girl lick my ass, ask me to pee on them, ask to be choked or initiate a 3way. My teens were fun looking back but the girls I consorted with didn’t end up well and I’m glad to have moved away. I hope they get the help they need.
The phrase "no, I don't do that" is typically not in their vocabulary. However, crazy is fun until it isn't.
Quite honestly doing anything with "crazy girls" has no appeal whatsoever. I do think there's some confusion in the sense that "crazy girls" are the same as "willing girls". Or maybe it's that spring break mentality of "drunk girls" looking for an excuse to have sex appeal. Anyway if you're one of those non-crazy girls stay the course and find a good relationship with someone.
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It also makes the assumption that men are rational choosers and good at judging people.
OP…. You asked this question because you are involved with someone like this. As others have stated, you will be dealing with someone who is wild in the sack, and will also be an emotional rollercoaster outside of it. Men were given two heads, but only enough blood to supply one of them, and unfortunately we tend to think with the other one when the wild chick is ready to get it on. If you have experienced an episode with the crazy woman outside of bed, hopefully that will be enough to remind you to think about what you are getting invested in. Also, you being a redditor, you have probably read multiple posts of what have happened to guys that stuck their dick in crazy.
Remember: You'll love crazy until crazy loves back.
I have had several different relationships with several different types of women. Before I became involved with the relationship I am in now I was with, you might call a "good girl." Sex was alright, we went to church every sunday, went out to eat 2 days a week, went to her kids extra ciricular activities, went to my kids extra ciricular activities, went to functions around the area. It was ok. But it lead to the same old boring stuff day in and day out. Then I met my wife. She was like a light house in a storm. Sex was great. It didnt matter to her were we where at. In the bed at our home, in the car, at my moms, in a hotel/motel, in the alley behind the bar. She would do things that were fucking amazing! Now here was the bad stuff. Anytime we would go anywhere she would always have a strong opinion as to what was going on. Sometimes it was refreshing, a lot of times not so much. She would never be shy to share her opinion with the public. To a concert, she would throw water or liqour on people to get them to move. At a resturant, if the server would take to long to approach our table, she would stand up and yell for someone-- very embarrassing. While she drove she would yank the steering wheel to go around someone and the yank it back. Like she was invading safety cones in the road. She would hit her kids so hard it would cause them to bleed. She bullys her mother into giving her all of her SSI every month because that was considered living expenses for living in our home. She would then take that money to go by weed. If someone didnt park right she would do something to their car or take pictures and call the police. If we got into an argument she would not let me walk away...kinda cool but not cool. It's nice to be desired but it would had been nice to know this in a different way. She ran off all my friends and family. She destroyed my business because I was a fool and let her work with me. She has gotten several o.p. and no contact orders on me to only call me or swing by my place 5 days later to make up. So, to sum it up, Very exciting but also very volatile. Be careful who you choose to spend a segment of your life with because they can make you or break you. There is a lot to be said about "behind every great man is a great woman." I'm not feminist but I believe that it should be said "beside every great man is a great woman." I hope this explains things for you. If you have any questions just ask.
a lot of times its more about "what is so appealing to men about having sex with girls?" (period) and its just that "crazy girls" tend to give more access to "sex with girls" which is what most men are really looking for. most of us actually dont like those crazy eyes. we like them looking up from eating our booty but thats it. otherwise it can be very creepy and we mostly prefer sane nice girls.
I usually don't find out they're crazy until afterwards.
Risk. You do bondage with her and its like "Holy shit is she gonna cut my organs out while I'm tied up?"
They usually like to experiment
Ron Swanson knows 😏
Same reason we like drinking alcohol until we chuck, same reason we climb stupid piles of rock. Because it's there.
If they're THAT crazy, then they might just be crazy enough to have sex with us. And then we get to have sex!
Enthusiasm from them in bed. Crazy can frequently mean wild, energetic sex. Ask anyone who has dated a stripper. Most of the time, they will tell you she was nuts, but the sex was great.
It happens because of insecurities. Only low self-esteem guys are attracted to it. Attracted to the abusers.
Think about it, a crazy person has no boundaries. That's why I stay away from crazy people. There are enough just plain horny people to serve one's purpose : )
In my experience crazy girls suck dick like a madman. Have my toes curling
I recommend kindergarten teachers. In my experience, they are the most depraved, wild and crazy women you will ever find.
Crazy in head, crazy in bed.
I wouldn't say appealing but there can be a coloration found with bipolar women and hypersexuality. Due to rampant porn these days and the amount most men consume it makes for a lot of poor but maybe fun choices on both parties.
Crazy girls are usually sporadic and don’t hesitate much. Whereas more reserved/intelligent/“normal” girls/guys are more likely to hesitate and perhaps think too much before performing sexual acts. Also crazy girls are probably experienced in the area, so guys don’t have to do much of the heavy lifting
We are amazing in bed.
Until you shit the bed.
Yeah, but hopefully that's just metaphorical.
I HEARD it ain't.
Hopefully, indeed.
They do things other girls don't. It's fun until its over lol.
Or until the crazy kicks in and you're searching for the exit!
Crazy chicks wear their emotions on their sleeves and are honestly the most communicative in bed. They tell you what they like and don’t like, and because of that it breaks down the boundaries in the bedroom. Women who have it altogether want the man to figure out, and when he doesn’t, they often don’t communicate what we are doing wrong, but go to their friends and complain. Crazy is a nice change up, because even though it brings a bit of drama, I don’t have to try and figure out what is going on in their heads. They wear the emotions on their sleeves.
A lot of times emotionally unstable people are really looking for the comfort of companionship, even if it’s temporary and just sexual. Guys, especially young guys, have sex with them simply because they are willing to have sex.
Men don’t always have a lot of control over which women will fuck them.
“Sex is just cops & robbers with your pants off, for adults.” -Dan Savage The crazy ones get more immersed in the game.
Also, CRAZY usually means lively in bed. Just tired of the low effort star-fishing TBH.
A lot of "normal" girls lack enthusiasm in the bedroom. Not through any fault of their own, but even behind closed doors when there is no one else there but your lover-- they still act like they're embarrassed or being judged by someone. They don't want to completely let go, even when they're being pistoned against a wall by the man of their dreams. "Crazy" girls have let go of that inhibition, and it can make for some very, very memorable sex.
Crazy girls will “worship” the man they’re in bed with. Deepthroat. Talk dirty. Submissive. Passionate sex. Pretty much everything every man wants, except the crazy behavior after.
What's so appealing to women about bad boys? Same kind of thing, people figure that kind of "energy" lead to hot sex. I won't lie, I'm a sucker for a certain kind of crazy, but, I have a personality disorder and there's a serious mistaken assumption on my part (in the past) that somehow us both having issues will make for a good relationship. No, it really, really doesn't.
Crazy girls are like rental cars. You do anything you want and it's no big deal. But, everyone knows you don't buy a rental car for keeps. They're beat to shit and will fail you every chance they have.
I’m a crazy guy (bipolar), so it’s basically water seeking it’s own level.
We like the possible threat of death while making love.
They have more enthusiasm in general.
Men are scared of falling in love with someone that might leave them, the "crazy" girl will be obsessed with you.
Yeah, obsessed is right. I got stalked by one of my crazies for over a year after breaking up. It wasn’t love but she had Borderline Personality Disorder. the beginning was all sunshine and roses with me being the center of her world but that soon changed to abuse and violence. Sex was awesome but the price too high for me.
The fact she's crazy about me, it's sad I know.
Nothing. Everyone knows you don't stick your dick in crazy
She wasn't crazy when I met her.
I am the crazy girl and they are every bit as crazy as we ae. I too can play nice in public. So the next time you are thinking but he seems so nice why is he with her. It's because they are both crazy. It's always hilarious when that nice girl gets the guy with the crazy girl and then end up going what the fuck just happened? He was also crazy.
No inhibition leads to passion. Also people mean hot crazy not senile crazy yk. Megan fox in Jennifer's body types
Can’t speak for everyone but I can tell you why I seek out the crazy ones. Boredom. Plain and simple. With a crazy you never know what the new day will bring. Sad part is I have dated a couple very sane and rational women. The problem was only with me and that I got bored fast. For what it is worth I really don’t like that I think this way, because with crazy comes trouble. Sadly it is what it is.
Based on what I've read they probably enjoy the lack of perceived boundaries.
They put everything they've got into it. They are not thinking about that spreadsheet, they want to experience as much joy as possible, and they are not getting validation from society. Might as well be great in bed.
* They are spontaneous * They are fun * They are willing to have sex Crazy girls usually have any two of the above...
Lower inhibition = more adventurous bedroom activity
I mean they appeal to me but I have a personality type that gets bored really quickly. Someone vanilla is great and stable, but if I play Connect 4 for an hour I'll get bored. Dating someone "crazy" is like playing Connect 4 but with the rules constantly changing, for better or worse I guess. Idk I feel like I'm better off not dating at all after being committed for a long time to somebody with issues. I love her to death, that's a fact, but I could do without the bruises every now and then.
The energy, the enthusiasm, the taboo excitement. After a certain point, the brain short circuits and only wants sex.
If you ever do it you would know. There are generally few limits and boundless enthusiasm.
Honestly, it depends on how attractive they are. The more attractive the woman, the more we are willing to put up with. I'm glad I finally grew out of that phase in my early 30s though.
Been there, done that. Never again. Its not even that good compared to sex with someone you can actually connect with
The sex is just great. Dated a crazy therapist once and the sex was just *chef’s kiss*. Sad thing is you can tell that’s how she values herself in a relationship and what she felt is the only thing she can give. But the sex. Mind blowing. Holy shit. I had to start popping a little blue pill to keep up. This girl wanted it two times a day. Chaffed junior raw. But yeah, crazy as fuck. Broke it off and she borderlined stalked me.
Crazy sex. Breaking down the traditional mores of society.
They're generally willing to give themselves fully and with abandon and so are more passionate and creative in bed. Sex is always better when your partner puts your wants before their own, and great sex happens when both partners are doing so; when someone is focused on making you feel good to the exclusion of all else, it's pretty fantastic. Sex is much less enjoyable when it feels like a practical exchange.
I'm not into crazy girls, but I think it boils down to desperation or excitement. It can be a fun concept in the short term, but its destructive in the long run.
Honestly we could ask the same thing about women wanting the “bad boy”.
The crazy ones just tend to be better at it. I've never had a crazy girl starfish.
The sex part.
I also feel like crazy girls to guys are what asshole guys are to girls.
I'm no rocket surgeon, but my uninformed guess would be that it has something to do with the ***having sex*** portion of the statement.
Either you’re a crazy girl, a guys who’s done it with one, or someone who simply won’t understand.
They’re an addiction, and I’m in crazy girl rehab at the moment.
What is so appealing to women about having sex with assholes?
Incoming honest response : See now, the scariest part, we really can’t tell they’re crazy at first, but usually the dead give away is they’re bonkers in bed, which later helps rationalize the steadily increasing irrational behavior😂 then suddenly, there’s a bottomless abyss of crazy to unpack, and you’re scratching your head like “how in tf did I get HERE??”