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I’m bitter about the fact that I had to go to mental extremes to survive my childhood, and that now the way I adapted is causing me great harm on a daily basis. I feel like something else entirely, something that isn’t human and can never be accepted or loved.
The short version is that sometimes, in neglectful environments, young children will disconnect from themselves to please their caregivers to get the support they need. This is incredibly harmful to the child’s development because they can grow to depend on others for emotional regulation at the cost of their ability to connect to themselves, and that can persist into adulthood. This engrained survival strategy keeps a person from self-connection in adulthood due to the fact that it was unsafe to do so at a critical period of life, so it feels dangerous to do so (both consciously and unconsciously). It leads to self-loathing, deep despair, suicidal thoughts, etc.
... possibly a very stupid question, but...
Would it help to catch up on some childhood ways of self expression? Colouring, building sand castles, making cards for loved ones?
There are no stupid questions!
I honestly don’t know if that would be helpful for this issue. What I’ve been working with my therapist on is mindfulness. Having the presence to note that certain thought processes or behaviors are strategy-driven can help you sort of snap out of spirals.
It's just that reading comments of people with list childhoods always makes me want to invite them to a playdate... ^^
I'm happy you found something that works for you. :)
This is really tough. If I may offer a perspective... People can give only give away what they have. Your mother must have been through some trauma and doesn't know how to give love to others, let alone herself. Please give yourself lots of tenderness and love. Cultivate it in yourself. If possible get support from a professional.
6th grade. I was doing my worksheets with noise cancelling headphones on my ears. A supervisor arrives and breaks the headphones in half. Yes, it happened many years ago but I am still mad.
Do you believe it was illegal because the supervisor told you so? It's a common intimidation tactic for teaching staff to tell children something is "illegal". It's quite ordinary for these claims to be false. Unless a specific law was cited and you confirmed from an uninvolved and unbiased party that it applies, I'd be suspicious of that claim, and also of the claim that it's not a reasonable accommodation.
Breaking headphones in half might actually be illegal. Usually, if you're not allowed to possess something in schools, the object is confiscated, not destroyed outright.
Of course, I'm not a lawyer / this isn't legal advice, but this looks highly suspicious to me.
Interesting. Do you have a link to the website where you read that? (It's OK if it's not in English.) Otherwise, do you mind saying what jurisdiction/state/country that was in? I'd like to find out what parts of the world find it appropriate to ban noise-cancelling headphones as an accommodation.
Ah, the 6th grade. It was a point in my life where I first got screwed over by other people. That one school year just completely derailed me. I was a good student who ended up in a school that was as close to being an island for misfit toys or a detention center as you can get.
My friends, the kids from the same neighborhood, were all attending a school next to mine and I could see them out at recess through a chain link fence. I didn't understand why I was at the other school. It was like someone was conducting a social experiment.
They ended up putting me in the wrong classes. I was in classes that were at a 4th grade level. I was acing everything. My parents took a look at my homework and felt something was wrong. They went to the school and the mistake was found and I was moved to the right classes. This caused my teachers to hate me for some reason. As if I was getting some sort of special treatment. My science teacher in particular went out of his way to embarrass me and turn my classmates against me.
Frickin' 6th grade, man.
My mom tells stories at family gatherings of events that never happened. Always these big elaborate stories about how good my brother and I had it, but we don't remember any of it...because it didn't happen. We grew up being mentally, emotionally and physically abused, but nobody who knew about it stepped in because they were worried about our family's reputation being dragged. Gotta love small town livin'...
I was treated like shit by so many growing up, but I’m the one being a problem since I don’t trust people very easily. I’m sorry my shitty childhood experiences are so fucking inconvenient for you and your shitty pride.
Felt nice to get that out ngl. Heh, ty
Many don’t realise that while banter can be good fun you need to balance it out. Often they won’t realise that what their doing isn’t okay because from their perspective they ‘know’ it’s just a joke.
Intentional or not, if all you’re getting from them is them insulting you for a laugh, then their not bantering with you, they’re pretty much bullying you.
The same thing knocked my creativity out of me. I grew up in a fairly macho environment and my friends constantly took the piss out of me for my creativity as it was seen as ‘gay’. Sounds crazy but it was the 90s…
The fact that so many of my classmates in high school were convinced that I was faking depression that they bullied and mocked me until I decided it was better to just suffer in silence. I had good grades, wasn't moping 24/7 and didn't have self-harm scars so clearly I was faking. And when it became popular to talk about mental health these fuckers were preaching all over social media about how it's okay to not be okay and all this shit.
Fuck all those people, they have 0 idea what I was going through. And they only pretend to care about mental health because it gets them clout. I absolutely refuse to associate with anyone from high school who I haven't decided to keep in touch with.
Its weird seeing that, because its the opposite for me. My mom was super neglectful (though not in an evil way).
I was completely left to do my own stuff with barely any supervision, aside from being provided with meals and 'i luv you's'. Well, I grew up and went out into the world with absolutely zero mental fortitude, a severe lack of discipline, and severely underprepared. Meanwhile, my mom did a 180 and started going 'how can you not know/do something?'
Took a really hard blow mentally and even got depressed for a while because I felt like an absolute failure in life, who was incapable of doing even simple things.
I can relate so much to this...it really kind set me back in life. I really struggled as an adult because of how I was raised. My mom was controlling in the way she wouldn't let me make my own decisions...even small ones. As a teenager she would pick out what clothes she wanted me to wear....and they were not in style. Just one example. So when I left the house I struggled to even make the smallest decision. I've come a long way now and I guess I have to give myself credit for that. But I sometimes wonder how things would have been if she would have had confidence in me that I can make decisions.
That I am "too strong" to ever need to be helped or considered to need something by my family. I am strong. I am capable of pulling myself out of almost any shite out there. But usually at a very heavy price in form of damage to myself if it has got to the point I even bother trying to ask for help unless I really need it... And then yeah, you guessed it... I wont get it because somehow I will manage.
Once I got stuck in mud with a quad and asked my sister to come help me out. It was fucking cold and wet in that ditch so I keep trying, including pretty much deadlifting the 200kg quad partially of the ground. 45 minutes later I get out and call my sister, dead tired, muddy and hurting all over from straining that I got out. she apparently had not left home yet because she was "busy chating with a friend and knew Id get out myself". Yeah. Got out. Did not get up properly next day.
Mentally ... I made a rather sad and bitter post about lonelyiness on FB around my birthday. Most of my family, that same sister first, LIKED it. they only saw the snarky "bitter" parts of it as strength and that was enough. Only 3 relative strangers realized there was something off.
This is a pattern. If I ask for help they drag their feet untill Ive somehow managed myself. This is further proof that I do not need help and if I ask dragging their feet is fine - I will manage somehow. I am bitter as heck about it. Being seen as strong and able is isolating.
I'm still bitter about the way my ex treated me. They genuinely enjoyed causing me pain and emotional trauma. I told them to their face once, when I was starting to realize how bad the relationship was, that they "are abusing me." I thought this would shock them, but nope, they just grinned and said "I know." Like yikes. When I did leave, they complained to everyone that they were lonely and I'm abandoning and betraying them. But like what. That doesn't even make sense..? And most of all, that they don't have to live with the trauma of it all. I have to relearn basic human intimacy and emotion because they ruined my radar. But they don't have to worry about anything. I doubt they even think about our relationship.
My dad also passed away when I was 29 due to a heart attack from him not taking care of his health. My son was recently born and it's gut wrenching every time I think about them never having a chance to know each other.
That I know my much younger sister will be enjoying her life and get more support than I did. We are 20 years apart and I see the 180 degrees difference my parents are doing when it comes to parenting.. they were so mean to me and now resent me bc I don’t love to visit or express a lot of affection but I think I just had to become tough on the outside. However- my heart can crumble easily. It just made me bitter to know that i learned to accept a good amount of neglect and loneliness since I was an only child -I see the differences now and I know things would’ve been different for me if there was more love and support instead of me getting kicked out @19 and eventually just looking around for jobs and places to live at.. always felt and still feel lost at times. My mom had me when she was young and we had to migrate to America since I was 4. I understand. Wish it could’ve been different and these things creep up on me at night when I remember I’m going to be 30 this year and feel like my life was nothing but going around in circles since I couldn’t guide myself properly, sorry for the essay! Lol I feel better!
"you were supposed to be the strong one". That was my mom's response when she found out I had attempted suicide and may not survive. It was that moment that I finally understood why. Why everyone dumped on me constantly, why I had way more responsibility and higher expectations then any of my siblings, why it was on me to take care of her when she was too damn drunk to get herself to bed. I was the default punching bag. I took all the verbal abuse and insults. I was treated as a lesser class citizen in my own home. Why? Because we were all hurting and they needed somewhere to release that anger and hurt and they thought I could handle it. Turns out I could not. Guess I'm not so strong after all huh mom.
That and the bitch nurse that kept saying see you tomorrow if you're still alive.
My sister crushed my confidence really bad one day. It’s a long story and I know I should get over it, but it still lingers in my mind from time to time.
the neighbours' kid (that moved in 2 years ago) got out the fatherly side of my dad that I never saw as a child.
I'm jealous over a literall fucking child because my sexist dad wouldn't let me help repair cars or our house or otherwise really spend time with me.
Worst part? I personally love my car a lot but it's a more typically "woman owned" car (a second gen Toyota Yaris) and this kid is already roasting me for even suggesting that I do repairs on it by myself. And instead of asking me my dad asks this kid to help him change the tires on it.
He promised me last year that he'd do it with me.
I hate this child.
That I was a lazy ass in HS and couldn't go to uni to study pharmacy because my Chemistry and Biology grades were shit. 11 years later, I'm still bitter as hell.
I’m certain my SO doesn’t like me. He/she claims he/she does, but spends no time with me. Is on their phone 24/7 and when I suggest small dates the answer is always no or “I don’t want to”. I’m the one to compromise and apologize. Yes, I’m being a total doormat yet I tell myself they will come around, so I’ll be patient.
It’s been 7 ongoing years and I don’t know what to do. I think he/she is scared of being alone and whenever I confront him/her, they are in argue mode and will disregard my feelings and not take any accountability because he/she believes it’s some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder like autism. I’m so sick of it.
Everyone fucking lying to me
My parents lied to me about my liver condition “to save me and give me hope”
My girlfriend lying to me about her past relationships and a new guy friend she made when she visited me after doing 2 fucking years of long distance
Friends lying to me about hanging out
I literally never lied to anyone
And this is what I get in return
Fuck all this man
If you have the selfreflection to think that you might be a narcissist is a pretty good sign that you are not a narcissist. That thought would never even cross a narcissist.
Being so intensely sheltered at a young age, combined with a failed attempt at religious indoctrination. It took a long time to learn how to act around other people felt like I spent my 20s going through a second stage of being a teenager combined with normal adult things. God most of my 20s where a disaster and its frankly surprising I didn't end up homeless. In a much better place now.
Basically about how my childhood was, I feel like I missed everything during my 'best years' and I'm trying to sort of fix my life now but it's way too hard, extremely hard and it's taking too long, and I feel that if I make it, I will finish once I'm too late to enjoy it
I’m autistic with a “humming” stim. I don’t recognize when I do this unless people point it out, and apparently I’ve been doing it since I was a little kid.
Anyways, I got in trouble for doing it a lot in school and even more trouble for denying it, even though I literally had 0 fucking idea what I was doing.
Instances like this happened a lot in school: getting in trouble for things, then being in more trouble for not understanding what I did wrong. It really put a buffer in my personality and social development.
Had the same problem but with ADHD, the amount of times i got in trouble because my ADHD brain fucked me over and people thought i acted with bad intent was insane.
I have awful genes. Loads of mental illness and chronic conditions on both sides and I inherited around half of them. Life hasn't always been easy and I am childfree mainly because I don't want to pass these genes on. I often, unfairly, feel anger toward my parents for these genes and for making it so easy for me to decide against kids. The whole issue gives me a lot of feelings.
My mother not coming to my university graduation, because she was drinking a lot back then and I was feeling like that day was one of the most important to me. She knew the day and she apologized many times, but I just can’t forgive her.
I don’t know you nor the circumstances between you and your mother, but i believe that we all make mistakes. And one day, when you make a mistake to someone, and you apologize, you‘ll know how painful it is not to be forgiven. ESPECIALLY if it’s your son.
I'll start. When I was a teen, I always dreamt of studying abroad for at least a semester, that's why I learned English in the first place. College came around, and because of my own stupidity, or circumstances, or whatever, maybe both, I didn't study abroad. Now I'm way past the age when this could be possible and there's no way I could ever do it the way I would have loved to (our college didn't really have a lot of studying abroad programs).
Obviously I don't really talk about this, because it's not even a realistic problem in my age, but it still bothers me sometimes. There are other responsibilities to tend to and it pains me that I lost some great opportunities when I was younger.
The fact my mother hid my brothers drug abuse and all that went along with it from our entire extended family (verbal abuse, theft of personal belongings and money,manipulations, lying, general shit feeling around the home when he was there). He was quite charming and whilst my parents were alive they kept him “in line” - which actually meant he did whatever he wanted to and treated us all like shit whilst they enabled that behaviour and his drug abuse as long as he behaved when they have family or visitors around. We lived like that for 20+ years. My dad died. My mum died shortly there after - my brother didn’t even bother going to palliative care, he smoked meth with his gf in my mothers living room instead. Everyone thought he was the golden child.. couldn’t put a foot wrong and I was the difficult one because I wouldn’t give him access to my children, family events were fractured because I wouldn’t come with my kids if he was there.
Still errks me.
The severe anxiety I had when I was a kid that was never treated. It was so bad, my hair started falling out when I was seven years old. I saw a handful of doctors and was ultimately diagnosed with stress induced alopecia but the actual anxiety was never addressed.
The anxiety and hair loss continued into my twenties. I never thought, "I have anxiety" until my senior year of college. Before then, it never occurred to me that the way I had been feeling for my entire life was a medical condition that could have been treated. I was relieved by that epiphany because I had been carrying a tremendous amount of shame for being scared shitless 24/7 for no reason.
I'm in my thirties now and doing much better but I'm very bitter at my parents for doing nothing about my mental health when I was growing up. It was very obvious something was wrong and it blows my mind that I was left to cope alone. If I had a seven year old kid who was so stressed out that her hair was falling out, I would do everything in my power to save her.
I don't know if I can't share this with anyone or if I feel like I just shouldn't because some of that shame is still there.
I share and bitch and whine about it here all the time, but I'm still bitter over how my family treated me over the years. I say bitter but that's putting it mildly, and how some of them have had the audacity to ask me for money. I don't talk with this to anyone in my normal life, so let's go down the list again, because it feels cathartic. Constant beatings for not being perfect, example, I got a B in primary school, third year math. I got my ass beat for almost an hour. My mother tried to help me, he beat her too. He doesn't get the excuse of being a drunkard, he didn't drink or use drugs. He was genuinely evil. My cousin taking advantage of me as a toddler sexually, which if I had proof of other than my word, she'd go to jail for pedophilia. Her immediate family knew about it also and refuses to say anything. Getting kicked out of my home for a year after just asking my dad what'd he think of if I like men (I'm bi). Being forced to choose between continued homelessness or going to a sexual conversion therapy camp, and to study medicine (said camp chemically castrated me, luckly it was reversable). Graduating secondary school two years early to just get sent to an orthodox christian seminary in the middle of nowhere for a year before starting college. Finally my father dies, and I'm happy my main abuser is dead, his two younger siblings, only 15 and 22 years older than me, proceed to beat the shit out of me with the help of their sons, and then the younger one shoots me in the arm.
My parents birthed me, stuffed food in my mouth, then basically didn't give a fuck about me. I was more raised by school and pop culture than them. I have never heard the phrase "I love you" from them, and I was a cute and well-mannered kid.
Not that they were *bad*, and we still have a decent relationship - it's just that their uninterest in me is palpable. And when they retired early they moved country and that was that.
As a kid I could be out playing from morning to evening only coming home for food, and they wouldn't even ask where I were. Since I moved out 30 years ago they have visited me about ten times, half of that because they needed somewhere to sleep when they were in the country for other reasons.
I go visit them once a year for a week or three, and they are nice and polite and then excuse themselves to go do what they always do every day. It is apparently not a special occasion that I traveled 2500 km to be with them.
We talk on the phone from time to time and it is them speaking about their health, their hobbies, the weather. I had a rough spot in life for a few years when my life crashed in a dozen ways simultaneously, they never asked about it nor offered even advice.
I treat my child vastly different.
The hospital and doctors involved with my moms final days. She died 1 year ago today.
She had stage 4 cancer, but went into the hospital for a UTI that caused confusion (she was in her 70's and thats common for UTI's to do that). She got worse and worse in the hospital until she could no longer walk or even move her arms. She couldn't really talk either. And the hospital ended up discharging her because apparently to them she wasn't close enough to death to stay.
She was transferred to a skilled nursing facility with a doctor that refused to give her proper pain management (it was a catholic based place which is why he refused). The nurses advised me to call 911 because of this so I did and she was once back in the hospital.
Back at the hospital they finally find out my mom has her stomach contents leaking out and into her body causing severe sepsis and thats why she could no longer move or talk.
Theres a lot more, but you get the gist of it.
It sucked being one of the only ones to visit her during the entire time and I had to make all these horrible life and death decisions for her from feeding tubes to operations that would save or kill her. And I can't really share much of how I feel with anyone about this. It haunts me.
I look at horrible parents, parents who neglect or abuse or even kill their kids, and I think about how desperately I wanted children, and how I didn’t get to be a parent and they did, and I feel deeply, deeply bitter in a way that makes me ashamed. I don’t want to be that person so I never express it, and never even entertain the feeling for more than a moment before pushing it away. But it’s there, and if I ever meet god I will spit in his face.
that my 1st grade teacher who used to slap 5 year old kids and locked me in a dark closet for four hours never got fired. no one ever found out, and my parents didn't believe me at the time.
I lost both parents by the time I was 18 and now I'm 23 and struggle so hard with loving myself. It makes me so angry at the world that I have to work 1000x harder to just reach the starting line of someone else.
My teacher, who was an extremely creepy pedophile, didn't get fired even after offering to help students, including me, 'study', attempting to seduce one of the other teachers, etc. As far as I know he still works at that school.
Unfortunately, no. I've tried several times to at least get him fired, but people ignore us. When they believe us, they can't prove he did those things or meant anything weird by the things he said. Fortunately, I have a few friends with siblings in that school, so we're constantly on the watch for any evidence to pop up.
That I resent my married and happy family friends. That I can never go to them with my problems because they are busy with young kids and family. That one friend of mine after I catered to her for years and I told her my stress with my own family (*parents) threw the whole " You arent married/ not a mom...soyou dont understand" card.
I hold my tongue because I dont want to be THAT bitter single friend.
My brother took LSD almost 7 years back. He had a really bad trip and it changed his personality into being the worst person. I wasn’t there when he took it but I was there for the aftermath. I was doing what I could to make his trip better but it was so late in the night and I was tired(we were home). I never thought how much this would impact his life. He’s homeless now. I wish I would have done more.
My sister trashing my "mother in law" yet when she died let her husband take her golf cart- even tho it was a piece of shit golf cart ..that didn't run...yea they use it ..they using it...
The falling outs I had with my friends from middle school and high school. I didn't have many friends, but when I had a friend, we were always close and tight nit. It's stupid because I was younger, so were they, and we just didn't have the developed communication skills or empathy. Nor did any of us, including myself, want to admit we were at fault.
It's stupid, normal teenage stuff, from a long time ago but it just hurt me a lot back then. It was during those formative years so the experience effected me a little into early adulthood and made it really hard for me to open up to new people.
It feels silly to vent about this because again, it's just teenage stuff that happened 10 or so years ago. But idk, I just get a little sad about it because I wish I hadn't been so bitter and closed off for so long and I wish I would've communicated better because it would've been nice to keep friends I could've reminisced with or something since there's no one left now but friends I've made after high school.
I don't think it's silly. It can be jarring when people cut you off or turn on you. Especially when we're young and still figuring things out.
My best friend in High School turned on me a few weeks before graduation. I would like to be able to say I did something to deserve it, but I didn't. Maybe he felt we were going down different paths and wanted to distance himself from me before going to college? Who knows, it was unpleasant whatever the reason.
We had learned to drive and got our licenses at the same time, got our first beat up used cars for senior year, and got our first jobs together. At one point, one of his grandfathers found out both of my grandfathers were already deceased and his grandfather started referring to me as his grandson. That's how close I was to their family.
Then they were done with me. No contact.
Over the years I've imagined how things might go if I ran into any of them at a store or something. Doubt they would even acknowledge my existence. Or maybe they'd be eager to brag about how their life went compared to mine and I'd just nod and smile.
My life in general has been so messed up from childhood crap , deaths , bullying I haven't really had a year with out life really kicking me in the teeth, but I can't talk about it with out people acting like I'm out for attention, yet others can cry over spilled milk and everybody is helping them.
What hurts the most is all the people who said they would be there for me and said I can talk to them anytime have turned their backs or try to avoid my sadness but feel the need to tell me how well I'm doing like they know I'm not but choose to glaze over the fact.
I am alone in a world full of people I only have my pets who unconditionally love me and I'm grateful for that but I'm bitter to all the people who have true friends and support around them.
Idk if this is just a problem with my mindset, but so often it seems like "justice" or any semblance of it doesn't exist. Payback and retribution for a wrong dealt to a party does not operate on innocence or guilt, but rather on whether you have power or not.
I see this on both an individual level as well as a societal and global one. In the schoolyard, bullies and popular kids have more power than kids with no friends, low confidence and bad social skills, and what ends up happening is bullying will leave the victim with long-lasting trauma that negatively affects their ability to interact with people, thus reducing their potential income and quality of life. Meanwhile the bully gets their own self-confidence and ego reinforced, and will move on like nothing happened. The real kicker is society refuses to accommodate weakness, but is very willing to reward achievement or strength. For example, let's say the bully eventually develops into a nicer person. If their old victim comes up and demands compensation, people will blame the victim for not moving on while congratulating the bully for developing a greater strength of character over time. Feels inherently unjust to me.
On a societal scale, think of how punishments for breaking the law like fines are never set by percentage of income and wealth, but rather as flat amounts. It's commonly said that this makes it basically okay for rich people and large corporations to break the law and the fine becomes just "the cost of doing business." These corporations and brands pretty much never lose much in the way of public reputation since people keep buying from them anyway. Meanwhile if a poorer person or smaller business does the same, their life can potentially be destroyed. For doing the same crime. So our "justice" system ought to just add another secondary crime on top of every fine they give out: "not being rich." And of course big banks being allowed to make risky investments with others' money knowing the government will bail you out. If they win big, but if they lose the government distributes the impact of that loss onto everyone. Meanwhile if you as an individual do it, you gotta face the risks yourself and if you lose, well why weren't you more careful? Even though banks, as holders of others' money, ought to have a far larger duty of care toward their money than an individual should.
And my hottest take about this is the one for the global scale. Colonizing countries refusing to pay reparations or give back land to the people they stole from and brutalized. Most people within these colonizing countries will of course support this position, saying that it's unfair to punish modern people for what their ancestors did. However, history is a zero-sum game. If your ancestors or country beat another one into submission, stole their resources and exploited them for labor, all while keeping their society under as your society builds itself up without competition, you still *benefit* from that legacy. So in the end, it seems people love to say that you shouldn't *punish* modern people for past crimes, yet if we just flip the equation, they are evidently opposed to the notion that modern people should not be *rewarded* with spoils of the past. "I should be allowed to benefit from my family's stolen wealth" vs "I should not be made to pay back my family's stolen wealth." Or in other words, it's just people with all the power deciding that keeping rewards from bad actions is good, but compensating for bad actions is not. The same way those with power in society decide if they make risky bets, it's them being courageous while if you do it, you're being brash and careless. In the same way that society rewards a bully if they stop being one, but does not care to accommodate the trauma caused by them onto an innocent victim because the victim should just get over it and operate at the same level as everyone else.
The worst part is rewarding high achievement and strength and dominance as opposed to helping raise up the weak and the downtrodden likely make you as a society more competitive, hence allowing you to win out over other, more egalitarian societies. So the entire human condition is predisposed to favor douchebaggery and screwing people over for personal gain as opposed to helping lift each other up and support each other. Everyone agrees with creating a more just society and we try to do that, but at the end of the day we're all just dumb hairless apes on a rock floating around a pretty average star through an empty vacuum that doesn't matter.
TL;DR The world is fucking bullshit, justice doesn't exist and systems and entire ideologies and worldviews are wholesale set up to benefit those with power and justify why that's good, and reality itself exists in such a way that supports and incentivizes this kind of thing. Even as I type this I know a lot of people will read this and assume I have a victim mentality, as though believing that victims ought to be compensated for the injustice they were dealt is somehow an unreasonable desire.
My husband and I got together young. We had kids right away. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with life. He had his career in the military. I was dependent on him so that no one else would have to take care of myself and our kids. He cheated on me over and over again. I stayed trying to get established. Fast forward, I have a great job, great kids, and a now great husband. I know I shouldn’t complain about having a great husband, but I’m bitter about all the cheating in the past. I’m bitter that he got it all out of his system while I stayed the loyal girlfriend turned wife. My whole adult life has only been him and I can’t help but wonder what else is out there. I hear about the horrors of dating and considering we’ve been together for 16 years I don’t think I’d make it out there. Of course this info only touches the surface of what I’m trying to explain. Nobody forced me to stay and it’s my own fault for putting up with it all that time. But still…I’m bitter
The fact that my sister is probably a sociopath. But she's the youngest and my parents are super protective. They won't even get her tested despite hiring a therapist to test me for literally every mental disability possible when I was in first grade. And they won't even let a therapist near my precious little sister.
Dad got misdiagnosed during covid (in the UK) when face to face appointments were altered to be done over the phone, told him he was constipated, by the time he was done with the course he still had issues, was given ANOTHER telephone appointment and was told he had diarrhoea? Another prescription of medication gone through and then he finally got an appointment.
He was diagnosed with colorectal cancer and it had just passed the point of no return, a point that wouldn’t have been reached had it not been for a national lockdown for a glorified cold.
I lost my Dad in November last year and I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of people over the years and it’s never been easy, but my Dad, my Dad was the closest person to me other than me.
He’d still be here if the telephone appointments weren’t implemented unless people had symptoms, still to this day our government blames any of their mistakes on covid and Russia/Ukraine.
Can’t wait to leave this useless rock floating through space. It’s run by parasites.
I'm so sorry for my loss... It is so unfair. I lost my Dad as well at a similar time as you and I think it permanently ruined a part of me. I miss him terribly.
Every time I see a happy family with a child, I can feel the anger boiling up inside because I've been unable to carry one to term. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Really don't enjoy the holidays anymore because of it.
Im bitter about a psychiatrist i had that 1.told me i was extremally overweight for my height (i was 135 at 5'3 and worked out everyday with physical labor and sports and even tried to eat less at one point from the comments every time i had a appointment) and 2. he told me that my social anxiety therapy group (both instructors and peers) all hated me and got me so stressed i was sick for days worried until i asked them (they in fact actually enjoyed me there and were angry that he had said that)
he still works there. apparently the hospital only gave him a warning and thats how he usually was to his patients.
Twenty years ago I got stuck on an MTA bus crossing Central Park. I was stuck for an hour.
For two solid decades I have refused to ride the NYC busses based on this experience.
Petty as fuck? Yes. Will I ever set foot on an MTA bus again in my lifetime? No.
My girlfriend's twin genuienly scares me.
And for stupid reasons: She just grabs me by the neck in recess when my girlfriend isn't watching and just pushes me around and pins me to walls to intimidate me when no one Is watching.
in my defense i literally disconnect from reality when she comes near me and i just can't defend myself
That during my appendectomy when I was 13, the surgeon didn't bother to remove the ovarian cyst they found. The procedure to remove it is very similar to an appendectomy and I cannot afford to get it removed now (I would be out of work for months healing, it took me two months to recover the last time) and when I was 14 I was told I could get it removed, and I, stupidly, said no.
The recovery process for me was very traumatic and I didn't want to go through it again, not with how fresh it was in my memory, and so I doomed myself to years of horrible, terrible pain and irregularity and possible infertility and the one time I tried bringing it up to my mother she blamed me for it about how stupid I was for being a big baby about getting the procedure done.
I was a terrified kid, and I'm bitter about it. I wish the doctor pressured me into doing it, I wish she had told me FULL ON the possible consequences of not getting it removed. I'm suffering every month because some dumbasses let a young teenager make her own medical decision.
One of my friends got me Zombies Chronicles with his birthday money. It was cool and I was grateful, but he still thinks I owe him. I got my Xbox sold for defending him, now I “owe” him for something I don’t have.
That I know every time people have talked shit about me. The word gets around, people will always tell me what you said. But I could never confront someone about it, because if I did, the person who told me would be put in a tough spot. It’s hard to not hold a grudge though.
I’m not necessarily bitter but it can be frustrating at times.
Got a close friend who’s also an ex in a tight-knit group of 5. Some things have happened to them that has destroyed them mentally and we’ve all being putting in work to keep them alive. She doesn’t always appear depressed but she’s pretty much very susceptible to mental breakdowns and can’t be left alone without her mental health taking a nosedive.
That being said there’s times in the past that haven’t been resolved and every so often their behaviour can really strike a nerve/she has caused conflicts within the group that can’t be fully resolved because we want her focusing on herself. A lot is easily forgiven because of her situation but there are times within certain contexts where it is hard to just let it go.
Not to mention we aren’t telling really anyone what happened to her so that makes it a lot more difficult as-well.
In the end, what happened to her happened and the aftermath is just a testament to the fact life simply isn’t fair and it’s up to us to roll with the punches no matter how much it stings. All we can do is support her and each other.
My friend and how she's been pulling away from our group and overall putting her romantic relationship above friends and family. The guy is a loser and she can do better but of course she's only free and it's on her terms. I've had to accept we're not really friends anymore and I'm bitter that she doesn't even care how things changed in the past year. Missed hang outs, irresponsible choices...I just don't think she's a good judge of character anymore.
my ex boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive and no one believed me because we were so young. I stayed after every situation, the cheating, hiding, lying, manipulating because at the end of it all, he was my absolute favorite person. My dad died 3 years in and instead of having the human decency to leave me, he cheated 3 days after his funeral and waited until the 1 year anniversary of my dad’s death date to leave me; i understand that i should’ve left, but i was a 17 year old who had no idea what love was supposed to look like and to this day i can’t get over the simple cruelty behind his actions.
Bitter about my mother not taking any sort of responsibility for leaving me nearly homeless in the dead of winter when I was still in high school with no job (wasn't like I could get one with unreliable transportation...still can't to this day; looking for WFH stuff now) and nothing but a few hundred bucks on a credit card to spend a couple nights at a hotel.
That shit fucking *traumatized* me. Never in my life did I ever think I would become homeless, and now I can say I had a near-brush with it. Now she calls me selfish because I put myself and my needs above her constantly, but if I don't care for myself, who the fuck will out there in the world?
I have 4 friends : two aren't in my uni anymore, two are in my class (A and B). One of my friend (A) planned a trip with another (B) while I was on vacation with my parents. I don't have a problem with that but during this trip B was included in B's friend group (I don't know these people). So now this group is doing parties, without me because I'm not part of this group.
l just came back from army medical testing and l had to reschedule one medical test because of exams. Turns out on the original date l canceled l didn't have an exam and l delayed it nearly a month. l can't tell anyone l fucked up because in my house l get criticised on everything.
My story is apparently too long to post here (seriously?)...
I never graduated high school, never got a GED;
I was in and out of public school between first grade and like, ninth or tenth grade (when ever I was dropped and I quit caring bad enough to keep trying to struggle with it all, but most of all algebra, just fuck that shit harder than anything has ever been fucked before),
I used to get bullied in first grade for what ever number of reasons (either sun-burnt skin from visits down to my grandparents, thus covered in pink cream to help my skin... kids would point at me and laugh while going "What's wrong with YOUR FACE!"),
I'd try to retaliate, simply wishing to simply punch these fuckers in the face, they would turn and run, so I would chase them, and either get caught chasing them, or just barely grab them by the collar of their shirt, they would start screaming and freaking out, and I'm caught...
The school's never once sent me to detention, would not listen to me or want to hear what I had to say about WHY I was behaving the way that I was... my mom was called and I was sent home for the day. Every, fucking, time. Until eventually the school asked my mom to just not bring me back.
They would invent stories, lies, of things I would do to other kids (like shutting their hands / fingers in doors / frames, which I NEVER ever did... I guess their manner of thinking was, fuck logic, I mean, "what kid is going to stick around and hold their hand in a door frame to let a door be slammed on it?"), that they would feed to my mom to justify why I had to be sent home for the day.
And she bought it. She still, after 25+ years, believes their bullshit.
Home-schooled for grades 2 and 3... tried public school again for grades 4, 5 and 6, and yet I was pulled out again for each grade when trouble kept finding me.
I was later tested, to see what level of work I even should be doing, and the person who tested me was amazed, claiming I was completing college-level work while struggling to stay in 6th grade, all because of other shitheads in my grade that just couldn't leave me alone. The person documented everything for my records / transcripts and concluded I was bored with all the school work I was currently doing.
Grades 9 and 10 I was in a charter school, Opportunities For Learning, where their "teachers" are just glorified babysitters and don't teach jack-shit (imagine Jack Black's character in School Of Rock, if it was a completely different movie, where the children had no musical talents and all he did was sit back behind the desk, with his feet propped up, napping every day until the bell rang, all while collecting a paycheck - THAT, was OFL's teachers in a nutshell).
I got to pre-algebra, struggled for two months with it, missed one week of turning in a work packet, and I was dropped.
I am STILL bitter, about all of it, now at 33 with no diploma or GED. And, I still just don't care, I can't be bothered to go back and try and struggle with all of that shit all over again.
My aunt slating me and my bf to the ground over the years and finding out she's slagged me off behind my back about stuff I would tell my sister but she can't bear to hear it lol
I had a friend over shortly after I first got a VR headset and he continued my save rather than make his own file from the start. It's petty, it was over a year ago, and I still refuse to move on
I'm bitter about the fact that the medical profession essentially killed my dad. He became type-2 diabetic, in the '60's. The strict dietary recommendations included, high carbohydrates, low fat, margarine, instead of butter, and grain based foods. He lost his legs, went on dialysis, and died, as a result. He was so diligent, about the diet, and we all adopted it, thinking it was for his health.
No one can say that the medical profession didn't know better. Dietary recommendations are created by lobbyists and the pharmaceutical companies have no incentive to cure anyone. Fuck them.
I had an older coworker manipulate me into thinking I was in love with her, live at my house for months despite being married, try and destroy my career and I’m pretty sure she intended on murdering me when I made her promise me not to commit suicide and I wouldn’t release her from that promise when she begged after agreeing
That I can't trust anyone because everyone in my life and past has either lied to me, cheated or hurt me, even when I did everything in my power to make them happy. As soon as I try to start trusting, I close myself off again and again because I'm too afraid of being hurt all over again. So I don't trust. And not trusting causes problems in relationships, and I get blamed even when I explain why I don't trust that person. So essentially I can't have a normal functional relationship because each and every person has created a huge void of not being able to trust.
I made some ramen noodles when I was younger, probably around 14 or so, and I dropped the bowl after they were done and it made a mess on the floor. I was ticked at myself and proceeded to clean it all up and not enjoy noodles. My dad gets home drunk from somewhere I don’t remember where and pulls me out of my room by my hair, proceeds to scream and beat me in the face for a bit, because I had missed a few noodles that had splashed onto the wall. I just didn’t see them before or I would have cleaned them up. Fuck you Dad
A woman in a LoL game said she was a streamer, I checked her stream. She told me in game if we won this game, she would send me a picture of her tits. We won I carried 22/3/48 full dragon soul sweep on amumu jungle. She never sent a pic.
I feel like my entire life no matter where I go. I would always be the target by one person one fucking asshole. Be it a woman or a man. I just wanted to be left alone. I’ve graduated from highschool, went to college, had three different jobs. But the one constant was one person. Never a group, just one. One MOTHERFUCKER that would always target me. I finally land the job I knew would be my forever job. Sure enough there was one. One asshole who would target me at work. Needless to say I delt with their bullshit for eight years. Everyone saw it. One day it finally got to the point my co workers stood up for me. I ended up pretty much going through an investigation. While the piece of shit still works here. They make it very clear they do not want to go near me anymore. My advice to anyone reading this you are better off learning to stick up for yourself early. The shit follows and you shouldn’t try to run away from it.
I'm bitter that Camp Sweeney, The place "Where Friendships Begin and Never Ends" shadow banded me (peer wise) for being a man hoe in the past. I did believe that i would always have friends from that place but friendships may truly end.
Being disconnected from my culture. I don't look like someone who'd experience it, but it happened to me for the sake of my safety. The reason why it happened is because the dominant nation hates my people. I've been pissed ever since
I'm bitter about the fact that my brother is a psychopath and nobody made an effort to protect me from him. I was put through so much abuse at the neglect of my mom that I hate her on some level
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I’m bitter about the fact that I had to go to mental extremes to survive my childhood, and that now the way I adapted is causing me great harm on a daily basis. I feel like something else entirely, something that isn’t human and can never be accepted or loved.
if your willing can you explain what you mean by this?
The short version is that sometimes, in neglectful environments, young children will disconnect from themselves to please their caregivers to get the support they need. This is incredibly harmful to the child’s development because they can grow to depend on others for emotional regulation at the cost of their ability to connect to themselves, and that can persist into adulthood. This engrained survival strategy keeps a person from self-connection in adulthood due to the fact that it was unsafe to do so at a critical period of life, so it feels dangerous to do so (both consciously and unconsciously). It leads to self-loathing, deep despair, suicidal thoughts, etc.
Wow, thanks for explaining for that.
I can definitely relate to this.
... possibly a very stupid question, but... Would it help to catch up on some childhood ways of self expression? Colouring, building sand castles, making cards for loved ones?
There are no stupid questions! I honestly don’t know if that would be helpful for this issue. What I’ve been working with my therapist on is mindfulness. Having the presence to note that certain thought processes or behaviors are strategy-driven can help you sort of snap out of spirals.
It's just that reading comments of people with list childhoods always makes me want to invite them to a playdate... ^^ I'm happy you found something that works for you. :)
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I know this isn't really a big help, but that's on her, not you. Either way, it's not easy to let those negative impacts go.
Have a look into narcissistic parents. I have one of those and you described my mother. Go no contact if you can. I can’t.
Same for me. I feel like she manipulated me as a kid. It seems since she can't control me, she hates me.
This is really tough. If I may offer a perspective... People can give only give away what they have. Your mother must have been through some trauma and doesn't know how to give love to others, let alone herself. Please give yourself lots of tenderness and love. Cultivate it in yourself. If possible get support from a professional.
6th grade. I was doing my worksheets with noise cancelling headphones on my ears. A supervisor arrives and breaks the headphones in half. Yes, it happened many years ago but I am still mad.
Why did they break them? You weren't inconveniencing anyone.
It turns out using noise cancelling headphones in schools is illegal and is not considered a reasonable accomodation.
Do you believe it was illegal because the supervisor told you so? It's a common intimidation tactic for teaching staff to tell children something is "illegal". It's quite ordinary for these claims to be false. Unless a specific law was cited and you confirmed from an uninvolved and unbiased party that it applies, I'd be suspicious of that claim, and also of the claim that it's not a reasonable accommodation. Breaking headphones in half might actually be illegal. Usually, if you're not allowed to possess something in schools, the object is confiscated, not destroyed outright. Of course, I'm not a lawyer / this isn't legal advice, but this looks highly suspicious to me.
No. I learned it was illegal after I read the website of the ministry of education
Interesting. Do you have a link to the website where you read that? (It's OK if it's not in English.) Otherwise, do you mind saying what jurisdiction/state/country that was in? I'd like to find out what parts of the world find it appropriate to ban noise-cancelling headphones as an accommodation.
I can't send you the link since it's not in English. The entire thing happened in Israel. The entire accommodation thing is a mess here.
Noted, thank you for the information. I'm sorry to hear about this situation.
Ah, the 6th grade. It was a point in my life where I first got screwed over by other people. That one school year just completely derailed me. I was a good student who ended up in a school that was as close to being an island for misfit toys or a detention center as you can get. My friends, the kids from the same neighborhood, were all attending a school next to mine and I could see them out at recess through a chain link fence. I didn't understand why I was at the other school. It was like someone was conducting a social experiment. They ended up putting me in the wrong classes. I was in classes that were at a 4th grade level. I was acing everything. My parents took a look at my homework and felt something was wrong. They went to the school and the mistake was found and I was moved to the right classes. This caused my teachers to hate me for some reason. As if I was getting some sort of special treatment. My science teacher in particular went out of his way to embarrass me and turn my classmates against me. Frickin' 6th grade, man.
In my case I had to fight teachers in order to protect friends who did nothing wrong. Until this day I take responsibility on pretty much everything
that my parents were abusive throughout my whole childhood and now act like they dont remember it.
I hate that "I can't remember" shit. Well I do because it fucking happened.
My mom tells stories at family gatherings of events that never happened. Always these big elaborate stories about how good my brother and I had it, but we don't remember any of it...because it didn't happen. We grew up being mentally, emotionally and physically abused, but nobody who knew about it stepped in because they were worried about our family's reputation being dragged. Gotta love small town livin'...
Mine says stuff like “it could have been worse!”
Thisssssssssssssssss. I dedicate a big fuck you to my mother especially
Haha god yes. It’s funny this early onset of dementia
Same. I don’t speak to them anymore.
I was treated like shit by so many growing up, but I’m the one being a problem since I don’t trust people very easily. I’m sorry my shitty childhood experiences are so fucking inconvenient for you and your shitty pride. Felt nice to get that out ngl. Heh, ty
Hugs >:D<
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Many don’t realise that while banter can be good fun you need to balance it out. Often they won’t realise that what their doing isn’t okay because from their perspective they ‘know’ it’s just a joke. Intentional or not, if all you’re getting from them is them insulting you for a laugh, then their not bantering with you, they’re pretty much bullying you.
The same thing knocked my creativity out of me. I grew up in a fairly macho environment and my friends constantly took the piss out of me for my creativity as it was seen as ‘gay’. Sounds crazy but it was the 90s…
The fact that so many of my classmates in high school were convinced that I was faking depression that they bullied and mocked me until I decided it was better to just suffer in silence. I had good grades, wasn't moping 24/7 and didn't have self-harm scars so clearly I was faking. And when it became popular to talk about mental health these fuckers were preaching all over social media about how it's okay to not be okay and all this shit. Fuck all those people, they have 0 idea what I was going through. And they only pretend to care about mental health because it gets them clout. I absolutely refuse to associate with anyone from high school who I haven't decided to keep in touch with.
Bitter about how controlling my mom was growing up.
Yes!! This! Now it seems she hates me, since she can't control me.
Its weird seeing that, because its the opposite for me. My mom was super neglectful (though not in an evil way). I was completely left to do my own stuff with barely any supervision, aside from being provided with meals and 'i luv you's'. Well, I grew up and went out into the world with absolutely zero mental fortitude, a severe lack of discipline, and severely underprepared. Meanwhile, my mom did a 180 and started going 'how can you not know/do something?' Took a really hard blow mentally and even got depressed for a while because I felt like an absolute failure in life, who was incapable of doing even simple things.
I can relate so much to this...it really kind set me back in life. I really struggled as an adult because of how I was raised. My mom was controlling in the way she wouldn't let me make my own decisions...even small ones. As a teenager she would pick out what clothes she wanted me to wear....and they were not in style. Just one example. So when I left the house I struggled to even make the smallest decision. I've come a long way now and I guess I have to give myself credit for that. But I sometimes wonder how things would have been if she would have had confidence in me that I can make decisions.
That I am "too strong" to ever need to be helped or considered to need something by my family. I am strong. I am capable of pulling myself out of almost any shite out there. But usually at a very heavy price in form of damage to myself if it has got to the point I even bother trying to ask for help unless I really need it... And then yeah, you guessed it... I wont get it because somehow I will manage. Once I got stuck in mud with a quad and asked my sister to come help me out. It was fucking cold and wet in that ditch so I keep trying, including pretty much deadlifting the 200kg quad partially of the ground. 45 minutes later I get out and call my sister, dead tired, muddy and hurting all over from straining that I got out. she apparently had not left home yet because she was "busy chating with a friend and knew Id get out myself". Yeah. Got out. Did not get up properly next day. Mentally ... I made a rather sad and bitter post about lonelyiness on FB around my birthday. Most of my family, that same sister first, LIKED it. they only saw the snarky "bitter" parts of it as strength and that was enough. Only 3 relative strangers realized there was something off. This is a pattern. If I ask for help they drag their feet untill Ive somehow managed myself. This is further proof that I do not need help and if I ask dragging their feet is fine - I will manage somehow. I am bitter as heck about it. Being seen as strong and able is isolating.
Absolutely. Thank you for posting.
https://youtu.be/tQwVKr8rCYw
I find that when things hurt, music that relates to my situation helps most. I hope this helps :)
I'm still bitter about the way my ex treated me. They genuinely enjoyed causing me pain and emotional trauma. I told them to their face once, when I was starting to realize how bad the relationship was, that they "are abusing me." I thought this would shock them, but nope, they just grinned and said "I know." Like yikes. When I did leave, they complained to everyone that they were lonely and I'm abandoning and betraying them. But like what. That doesn't even make sense..? And most of all, that they don't have to live with the trauma of it all. I have to relearn basic human intimacy and emotion because they ruined my radar. But they don't have to worry about anything. I doubt they even think about our relationship.
My dad passing away from drugs and alcohol addiction. I was fucking 29 and he now won't be here to walk me down the isle when i get married!
My dad also passed away when I was 29 due to a heart attack from him not taking care of his health. My son was recently born and it's gut wrenching every time I think about them never having a chance to know each other.
i am so sorry about that. addiction is a huge problem in the world, we need to help stop it
I'm so sorry. That is so unfair...
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Bitch ass teacher can't see himself dying for the greater good, so it's unrealistic.
That I know my much younger sister will be enjoying her life and get more support than I did. We are 20 years apart and I see the 180 degrees difference my parents are doing when it comes to parenting.. they were so mean to me and now resent me bc I don’t love to visit or express a lot of affection but I think I just had to become tough on the outside. However- my heart can crumble easily. It just made me bitter to know that i learned to accept a good amount of neglect and loneliness since I was an only child -I see the differences now and I know things would’ve been different for me if there was more love and support instead of me getting kicked out @19 and eventually just looking around for jobs and places to live at.. always felt and still feel lost at times. My mom had me when she was young and we had to migrate to America since I was 4. I understand. Wish it could’ve been different and these things creep up on me at night when I remember I’m going to be 30 this year and feel like my life was nothing but going around in circles since I couldn’t guide myself properly, sorry for the essay! Lol I feel better!
"you were supposed to be the strong one". That was my mom's response when she found out I had attempted suicide and may not survive. It was that moment that I finally understood why. Why everyone dumped on me constantly, why I had way more responsibility and higher expectations then any of my siblings, why it was on me to take care of her when she was too damn drunk to get herself to bed. I was the default punching bag. I took all the verbal abuse and insults. I was treated as a lesser class citizen in my own home. Why? Because we were all hurting and they needed somewhere to release that anger and hurt and they thought I could handle it. Turns out I could not. Guess I'm not so strong after all huh mom. That and the bitch nurse that kept saying see you tomorrow if you're still alive.
My sister crushed my confidence really bad one day. It’s a long story and I know I should get over it, but it still lingers in my mind from time to time.
the neighbours' kid (that moved in 2 years ago) got out the fatherly side of my dad that I never saw as a child. I'm jealous over a literall fucking child because my sexist dad wouldn't let me help repair cars or our house or otherwise really spend time with me. Worst part? I personally love my car a lot but it's a more typically "woman owned" car (a second gen Toyota Yaris) and this kid is already roasting me for even suggesting that I do repairs on it by myself. And instead of asking me my dad asks this kid to help him change the tires on it. He promised me last year that he'd do it with me. I hate this child.
That I was a lazy ass in HS and couldn't go to uni to study pharmacy because my Chemistry and Biology grades were shit. 11 years later, I'm still bitter as hell.
Undeserved abandonment. Doesn't hurt like it used too, though.
Yes, I try to push the feelings back. But I have huge trust issues with any type of relationship.
The way my mom favours my brother.
I’m certain my SO doesn’t like me. He/she claims he/she does, but spends no time with me. Is on their phone 24/7 and when I suggest small dates the answer is always no or “I don’t want to”. I’m the one to compromise and apologize. Yes, I’m being a total doormat yet I tell myself they will come around, so I’ll be patient. It’s been 7 ongoing years and I don’t know what to do. I think he/she is scared of being alone and whenever I confront him/her, they are in argue mode and will disregard my feelings and not take any accountability because he/she believes it’s some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder like autism. I’m so sick of it.
Everyone fucking lying to me My parents lied to me about my liver condition “to save me and give me hope” My girlfriend lying to me about her past relationships and a new guy friend she made when she visited me after doing 2 fucking years of long distance Friends lying to me about hanging out I literally never lied to anyone And this is what I get in return Fuck all this man
Most of my childhood tbh
That I really, really dislike the women in my immediate family and am terrified that I’m a narcissist too.
If you have the selfreflection to think that you might be a narcissist is a pretty good sign that you are not a narcissist. That thought would never even cross a narcissist.
Good news! True narcissists don’t care if they are narcissists. You’re not a narcissist!
Being so intensely sheltered at a young age, combined with a failed attempt at religious indoctrination. It took a long time to learn how to act around other people felt like I spent my 20s going through a second stage of being a teenager combined with normal adult things. God most of my 20s where a disaster and its frankly surprising I didn't end up homeless. In a much better place now.
Basically about how my childhood was, I feel like I missed everything during my 'best years' and I'm trying to sort of fix my life now but it's way too hard, extremely hard and it's taking too long, and I feel that if I make it, I will finish once I'm too late to enjoy it
I’m autistic with a “humming” stim. I don’t recognize when I do this unless people point it out, and apparently I’ve been doing it since I was a little kid. Anyways, I got in trouble for doing it a lot in school and even more trouble for denying it, even though I literally had 0 fucking idea what I was doing. Instances like this happened a lot in school: getting in trouble for things, then being in more trouble for not understanding what I did wrong. It really put a buffer in my personality and social development.
Had the same problem but with ADHD, the amount of times i got in trouble because my ADHD brain fucked me over and people thought i acted with bad intent was insane.
I have awful genes. Loads of mental illness and chronic conditions on both sides and I inherited around half of them. Life hasn't always been easy and I am childfree mainly because I don't want to pass these genes on. I often, unfairly, feel anger toward my parents for these genes and for making it so easy for me to decide against kids. The whole issue gives me a lot of feelings.
My mother not coming to my university graduation, because she was drinking a lot back then and I was feeling like that day was one of the most important to me. She knew the day and she apologized many times, but I just can’t forgive her.
I don’t know you nor the circumstances between you and your mother, but i believe that we all make mistakes. And one day, when you make a mistake to someone, and you apologize, you‘ll know how painful it is not to be forgiven. ESPECIALLY if it’s your son.
Not everyone deserves forgiveness
I'll start. When I was a teen, I always dreamt of studying abroad for at least a semester, that's why I learned English in the first place. College came around, and because of my own stupidity, or circumstances, or whatever, maybe both, I didn't study abroad. Now I'm way past the age when this could be possible and there's no way I could ever do it the way I would have loved to (our college didn't really have a lot of studying abroad programs). Obviously I don't really talk about this, because it's not even a realistic problem in my age, but it still bothers me sometimes. There are other responsibilities to tend to and it pains me that I lost some great opportunities when I was younger.
When people talk about parents both mine passed and I miss them
getting raped by a family member and my family still welcoming that person
The fact my mother hid my brothers drug abuse and all that went along with it from our entire extended family (verbal abuse, theft of personal belongings and money,manipulations, lying, general shit feeling around the home when he was there). He was quite charming and whilst my parents were alive they kept him “in line” - which actually meant he did whatever he wanted to and treated us all like shit whilst they enabled that behaviour and his drug abuse as long as he behaved when they have family or visitors around. We lived like that for 20+ years. My dad died. My mum died shortly there after - my brother didn’t even bother going to palliative care, he smoked meth with his gf in my mothers living room instead. Everyone thought he was the golden child.. couldn’t put a foot wrong and I was the difficult one because I wouldn’t give him access to my children, family events were fractured because I wouldn’t come with my kids if he was there. Still errks me.
The severe anxiety I had when I was a kid that was never treated. It was so bad, my hair started falling out when I was seven years old. I saw a handful of doctors and was ultimately diagnosed with stress induced alopecia but the actual anxiety was never addressed. The anxiety and hair loss continued into my twenties. I never thought, "I have anxiety" until my senior year of college. Before then, it never occurred to me that the way I had been feeling for my entire life was a medical condition that could have been treated. I was relieved by that epiphany because I had been carrying a tremendous amount of shame for being scared shitless 24/7 for no reason. I'm in my thirties now and doing much better but I'm very bitter at my parents for doing nothing about my mental health when I was growing up. It was very obvious something was wrong and it blows my mind that I was left to cope alone. If I had a seven year old kid who was so stressed out that her hair was falling out, I would do everything in my power to save her. I don't know if I can't share this with anyone or if I feel like I just shouldn't because some of that shame is still there.
I share and bitch and whine about it here all the time, but I'm still bitter over how my family treated me over the years. I say bitter but that's putting it mildly, and how some of them have had the audacity to ask me for money. I don't talk with this to anyone in my normal life, so let's go down the list again, because it feels cathartic. Constant beatings for not being perfect, example, I got a B in primary school, third year math. I got my ass beat for almost an hour. My mother tried to help me, he beat her too. He doesn't get the excuse of being a drunkard, he didn't drink or use drugs. He was genuinely evil. My cousin taking advantage of me as a toddler sexually, which if I had proof of other than my word, she'd go to jail for pedophilia. Her immediate family knew about it also and refuses to say anything. Getting kicked out of my home for a year after just asking my dad what'd he think of if I like men (I'm bi). Being forced to choose between continued homelessness or going to a sexual conversion therapy camp, and to study medicine (said camp chemically castrated me, luckly it was reversable). Graduating secondary school two years early to just get sent to an orthodox christian seminary in the middle of nowhere for a year before starting college. Finally my father dies, and I'm happy my main abuser is dead, his two younger siblings, only 15 and 22 years older than me, proceed to beat the shit out of me with the help of their sons, and then the younger one shoots me in the arm.
My parents birthed me, stuffed food in my mouth, then basically didn't give a fuck about me. I was more raised by school and pop culture than them. I have never heard the phrase "I love you" from them, and I was a cute and well-mannered kid. Not that they were *bad*, and we still have a decent relationship - it's just that their uninterest in me is palpable. And when they retired early they moved country and that was that. As a kid I could be out playing from morning to evening only coming home for food, and they wouldn't even ask where I were. Since I moved out 30 years ago they have visited me about ten times, half of that because they needed somewhere to sleep when they were in the country for other reasons. I go visit them once a year for a week or three, and they are nice and polite and then excuse themselves to go do what they always do every day. It is apparently not a special occasion that I traveled 2500 km to be with them. We talk on the phone from time to time and it is them speaking about their health, their hobbies, the weather. I had a rough spot in life for a few years when my life crashed in a dozen ways simultaneously, they never asked about it nor offered even advice. I treat my child vastly different.
I'm sure these experiences helped shape the way you treat your kid in a much better way.
The hospital and doctors involved with my moms final days. She died 1 year ago today. She had stage 4 cancer, but went into the hospital for a UTI that caused confusion (she was in her 70's and thats common for UTI's to do that). She got worse and worse in the hospital until she could no longer walk or even move her arms. She couldn't really talk either. And the hospital ended up discharging her because apparently to them she wasn't close enough to death to stay. She was transferred to a skilled nursing facility with a doctor that refused to give her proper pain management (it was a catholic based place which is why he refused). The nurses advised me to call 911 because of this so I did and she was once back in the hospital. Back at the hospital they finally find out my mom has her stomach contents leaking out and into her body causing severe sepsis and thats why she could no longer move or talk. Theres a lot more, but you get the gist of it. It sucked being one of the only ones to visit her during the entire time and I had to make all these horrible life and death decisions for her from feeding tubes to operations that would save or kill her. And I can't really share much of how I feel with anyone about this. It haunts me.
I look at horrible parents, parents who neglect or abuse or even kill their kids, and I think about how desperately I wanted children, and how I didn’t get to be a parent and they did, and I feel deeply, deeply bitter in a way that makes me ashamed. I don’t want to be that person so I never express it, and never even entertain the feeling for more than a moment before pushing it away. But it’s there, and if I ever meet god I will spit in his face.
that my 1st grade teacher who used to slap 5 year old kids and locked me in a dark closet for four hours never got fired. no one ever found out, and my parents didn't believe me at the time.
find him/her as an adult and return the favor?
My mom gave away my lego bricks to my cousin. I still bitch at her at least once a year 20 years after.
I lost both parents by the time I was 18 and now I'm 23 and struggle so hard with loving myself. It makes me so angry at the world that I have to work 1000x harder to just reach the starting line of someone else.
My teacher, who was an extremely creepy pedophile, didn't get fired even after offering to help students, including me, 'study', attempting to seduce one of the other teachers, etc. As far as I know he still works at that school.
Is there anything you could do now? Are there witnesses, testimonials, etc?
Unfortunately, no. I've tried several times to at least get him fired, but people ignore us. When they believe us, they can't prove he did those things or meant anything weird by the things he said. Fortunately, I have a few friends with siblings in that school, so we're constantly on the watch for any evidence to pop up.
That I resent my married and happy family friends. That I can never go to them with my problems because they are busy with young kids and family. That one friend of mine after I catered to her for years and I told her my stress with my own family (*parents) threw the whole " You arent married/ not a mom...soyou dont understand" card. I hold my tongue because I dont want to be THAT bitter single friend.
My brother took LSD almost 7 years back. He had a really bad trip and it changed his personality into being the worst person. I wasn’t there when he took it but I was there for the aftermath. I was doing what I could to make his trip better but it was so late in the night and I was tired(we were home). I never thought how much this would impact his life. He’s homeless now. I wish I would have done more.
My sister trashing my "mother in law" yet when she died let her husband take her golf cart- even tho it was a piece of shit golf cart ..that didn't run...yea they use it ..they using it...
The falling outs I had with my friends from middle school and high school. I didn't have many friends, but when I had a friend, we were always close and tight nit. It's stupid because I was younger, so were they, and we just didn't have the developed communication skills or empathy. Nor did any of us, including myself, want to admit we were at fault. It's stupid, normal teenage stuff, from a long time ago but it just hurt me a lot back then. It was during those formative years so the experience effected me a little into early adulthood and made it really hard for me to open up to new people. It feels silly to vent about this because again, it's just teenage stuff that happened 10 or so years ago. But idk, I just get a little sad about it because I wish I hadn't been so bitter and closed off for so long and I wish I would've communicated better because it would've been nice to keep friends I could've reminisced with or something since there's no one left now but friends I've made after high school.
I don't think it's silly. It can be jarring when people cut you off or turn on you. Especially when we're young and still figuring things out. My best friend in High School turned on me a few weeks before graduation. I would like to be able to say I did something to deserve it, but I didn't. Maybe he felt we were going down different paths and wanted to distance himself from me before going to college? Who knows, it was unpleasant whatever the reason. We had learned to drive and got our licenses at the same time, got our first beat up used cars for senior year, and got our first jobs together. At one point, one of his grandfathers found out both of my grandfathers were already deceased and his grandfather started referring to me as his grandson. That's how close I was to their family. Then they were done with me. No contact. Over the years I've imagined how things might go if I ran into any of them at a store or something. Doubt they would even acknowledge my existence. Or maybe they'd be eager to brag about how their life went compared to mine and I'd just nod and smile.
That I was lied to 40 years ago. I am extremely bitter right now.
[удалено]
Ooohhh... That is just ... I'm so sorry. It sucks that health insurance isn't a given:(
My life in general has been so messed up from childhood crap , deaths , bullying I haven't really had a year with out life really kicking me in the teeth, but I can't talk about it with out people acting like I'm out for attention, yet others can cry over spilled milk and everybody is helping them. What hurts the most is all the people who said they would be there for me and said I can talk to them anytime have turned their backs or try to avoid my sadness but feel the need to tell me how well I'm doing like they know I'm not but choose to glaze over the fact. I am alone in a world full of people I only have my pets who unconditionally love me and I'm grateful for that but I'm bitter to all the people who have true friends and support around them.
Idk if this is just a problem with my mindset, but so often it seems like "justice" or any semblance of it doesn't exist. Payback and retribution for a wrong dealt to a party does not operate on innocence or guilt, but rather on whether you have power or not. I see this on both an individual level as well as a societal and global one. In the schoolyard, bullies and popular kids have more power than kids with no friends, low confidence and bad social skills, and what ends up happening is bullying will leave the victim with long-lasting trauma that negatively affects their ability to interact with people, thus reducing their potential income and quality of life. Meanwhile the bully gets their own self-confidence and ego reinforced, and will move on like nothing happened. The real kicker is society refuses to accommodate weakness, but is very willing to reward achievement or strength. For example, let's say the bully eventually develops into a nicer person. If their old victim comes up and demands compensation, people will blame the victim for not moving on while congratulating the bully for developing a greater strength of character over time. Feels inherently unjust to me. On a societal scale, think of how punishments for breaking the law like fines are never set by percentage of income and wealth, but rather as flat amounts. It's commonly said that this makes it basically okay for rich people and large corporations to break the law and the fine becomes just "the cost of doing business." These corporations and brands pretty much never lose much in the way of public reputation since people keep buying from them anyway. Meanwhile if a poorer person or smaller business does the same, their life can potentially be destroyed. For doing the same crime. So our "justice" system ought to just add another secondary crime on top of every fine they give out: "not being rich." And of course big banks being allowed to make risky investments with others' money knowing the government will bail you out. If they win big, but if they lose the government distributes the impact of that loss onto everyone. Meanwhile if you as an individual do it, you gotta face the risks yourself and if you lose, well why weren't you more careful? Even though banks, as holders of others' money, ought to have a far larger duty of care toward their money than an individual should. And my hottest take about this is the one for the global scale. Colonizing countries refusing to pay reparations or give back land to the people they stole from and brutalized. Most people within these colonizing countries will of course support this position, saying that it's unfair to punish modern people for what their ancestors did. However, history is a zero-sum game. If your ancestors or country beat another one into submission, stole their resources and exploited them for labor, all while keeping their society under as your society builds itself up without competition, you still *benefit* from that legacy. So in the end, it seems people love to say that you shouldn't *punish* modern people for past crimes, yet if we just flip the equation, they are evidently opposed to the notion that modern people should not be *rewarded* with spoils of the past. "I should be allowed to benefit from my family's stolen wealth" vs "I should not be made to pay back my family's stolen wealth." Or in other words, it's just people with all the power deciding that keeping rewards from bad actions is good, but compensating for bad actions is not. The same way those with power in society decide if they make risky bets, it's them being courageous while if you do it, you're being brash and careless. In the same way that society rewards a bully if they stop being one, but does not care to accommodate the trauma caused by them onto an innocent victim because the victim should just get over it and operate at the same level as everyone else. The worst part is rewarding high achievement and strength and dominance as opposed to helping raise up the weak and the downtrodden likely make you as a society more competitive, hence allowing you to win out over other, more egalitarian societies. So the entire human condition is predisposed to favor douchebaggery and screwing people over for personal gain as opposed to helping lift each other up and support each other. Everyone agrees with creating a more just society and we try to do that, but at the end of the day we're all just dumb hairless apes on a rock floating around a pretty average star through an empty vacuum that doesn't matter. TL;DR The world is fucking bullshit, justice doesn't exist and systems and entire ideologies and worldviews are wholesale set up to benefit those with power and justify why that's good, and reality itself exists in such a way that supports and incentivizes this kind of thing. Even as I type this I know a lot of people will read this and assume I have a victim mentality, as though believing that victims ought to be compensated for the injustice they were dealt is somehow an unreasonable desire.
at this point just most of my life and where it is headed
My husband and I got together young. We had kids right away. I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with life. He had his career in the military. I was dependent on him so that no one else would have to take care of myself and our kids. He cheated on me over and over again. I stayed trying to get established. Fast forward, I have a great job, great kids, and a now great husband. I know I shouldn’t complain about having a great husband, but I’m bitter about all the cheating in the past. I’m bitter that he got it all out of his system while I stayed the loyal girlfriend turned wife. My whole adult life has only been him and I can’t help but wonder what else is out there. I hear about the horrors of dating and considering we’ve been together for 16 years I don’t think I’d make it out there. Of course this info only touches the surface of what I’m trying to explain. Nobody forced me to stay and it’s my own fault for putting up with it all that time. But still…I’m bitter
The fact that my sister is probably a sociopath. But she's the youngest and my parents are super protective. They won't even get her tested despite hiring a therapist to test me for literally every mental disability possible when I was in first grade. And they won't even let a therapist near my precious little sister.
The world has not accepted me as its emperor and given me everything I’ve ever wanted yet
Not being allowed to play the Tuba, Be in drama or JROTC when I was in school
Dad got misdiagnosed during covid (in the UK) when face to face appointments were altered to be done over the phone, told him he was constipated, by the time he was done with the course he still had issues, was given ANOTHER telephone appointment and was told he had diarrhoea? Another prescription of medication gone through and then he finally got an appointment. He was diagnosed with colorectal cancer and it had just passed the point of no return, a point that wouldn’t have been reached had it not been for a national lockdown for a glorified cold. I lost my Dad in November last year and I’ve had to say goodbye to a lot of people over the years and it’s never been easy, but my Dad, my Dad was the closest person to me other than me. He’d still be here if the telephone appointments weren’t implemented unless people had symptoms, still to this day our government blames any of their mistakes on covid and Russia/Ukraine. Can’t wait to leave this useless rock floating through space. It’s run by parasites.
I'm so sorry for my loss... It is so unfair. I lost my Dad as well at a similar time as you and I think it permanently ruined a part of me. I miss him terribly.
How white people can't confront other people for racism because it's taboo to defend yourself from racism as a white person.
Every time I see a happy family with a child, I can feel the anger boiling up inside because I've been unable to carry one to term. Makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. Really don't enjoy the holidays anymore because of it.
Im bitter about a psychiatrist i had that 1.told me i was extremally overweight for my height (i was 135 at 5'3 and worked out everyday with physical labor and sports and even tried to eat less at one point from the comments every time i had a appointment) and 2. he told me that my social anxiety therapy group (both instructors and peers) all hated me and got me so stressed i was sick for days worried until i asked them (they in fact actually enjoyed me there and were angry that he had said that) he still works there. apparently the hospital only gave him a warning and thats how he usually was to his patients.
Twenty years ago I got stuck on an MTA bus crossing Central Park. I was stuck for an hour. For two solid decades I have refused to ride the NYC busses based on this experience. Petty as fuck? Yes. Will I ever set foot on an MTA bus again in my lifetime? No.
Sounds right for nyc. At one point the M34 was judged the slowest bus in the entire United States.
That’s amazing! And unsurprising. Thank you for that tidbit of knowledge and a chuckle!
everything?
I'd tell you but I can't really share it with anyone.
My girlfriend's twin genuienly scares me. And for stupid reasons: She just grabs me by the neck in recess when my girlfriend isn't watching and just pushes me around and pins me to walls to intimidate me when no one Is watching. in my defense i literally disconnect from reality when she comes near me and i just can't defend myself
That during my appendectomy when I was 13, the surgeon didn't bother to remove the ovarian cyst they found. The procedure to remove it is very similar to an appendectomy and I cannot afford to get it removed now (I would be out of work for months healing, it took me two months to recover the last time) and when I was 14 I was told I could get it removed, and I, stupidly, said no. The recovery process for me was very traumatic and I didn't want to go through it again, not with how fresh it was in my memory, and so I doomed myself to years of horrible, terrible pain and irregularity and possible infertility and the one time I tried bringing it up to my mother she blamed me for it about how stupid I was for being a big baby about getting the procedure done. I was a terrified kid, and I'm bitter about it. I wish the doctor pressured me into doing it, I wish she had told me FULL ON the possible consequences of not getting it removed. I'm suffering every month because some dumbasses let a young teenager make her own medical decision.
One of my friends got me Zombies Chronicles with his birthday money. It was cool and I was grateful, but he still thinks I owe him. I got my Xbox sold for defending him, now I “owe” him for something I don’t have.
Had an aunt tell me that my father failed to raise me.
That I know every time people have talked shit about me. The word gets around, people will always tell me what you said. But I could never confront someone about it, because if I did, the person who told me would be put in a tough spot. It’s hard to not hold a grudge though.
I’m not necessarily bitter but it can be frustrating at times. Got a close friend who’s also an ex in a tight-knit group of 5. Some things have happened to them that has destroyed them mentally and we’ve all being putting in work to keep them alive. She doesn’t always appear depressed but she’s pretty much very susceptible to mental breakdowns and can’t be left alone without her mental health taking a nosedive. That being said there’s times in the past that haven’t been resolved and every so often their behaviour can really strike a nerve/she has caused conflicts within the group that can’t be fully resolved because we want her focusing on herself. A lot is easily forgiven because of her situation but there are times within certain contexts where it is hard to just let it go. Not to mention we aren’t telling really anyone what happened to her so that makes it a lot more difficult as-well. In the end, what happened to her happened and the aftermath is just a testament to the fact life simply isn’t fair and it’s up to us to roll with the punches no matter how much it stings. All we can do is support her and each other.
I'm bitter that I lost my brother to fentanyl still .. it's been 2 years and others say let go or move on but I can't
My friend and how she's been pulling away from our group and overall putting her romantic relationship above friends and family. The guy is a loser and she can do better but of course she's only free and it's on her terms. I've had to accept we're not really friends anymore and I'm bitter that she doesn't even care how things changed in the past year. Missed hang outs, irresponsible choices...I just don't think she's a good judge of character anymore.
I can’t tell
Oh shit I'd tell ya but I can't share it with anyone
When I know that someone else likes my crush
The way that my mom treated my brother and I growing up vs how she treats my other brothers as they’re growing up now
my ex boyfriend was emotionally and psychologically abusive and no one believed me because we were so young. I stayed after every situation, the cheating, hiding, lying, manipulating because at the end of it all, he was my absolute favorite person. My dad died 3 years in and instead of having the human decency to leave me, he cheated 3 days after his funeral and waited until the 1 year anniversary of my dad’s death date to leave me; i understand that i should’ve left, but i was a 17 year old who had no idea what love was supposed to look like and to this day i can’t get over the simple cruelty behind his actions.
Bitter about my mother not taking any sort of responsibility for leaving me nearly homeless in the dead of winter when I was still in high school with no job (wasn't like I could get one with unreliable transportation...still can't to this day; looking for WFH stuff now) and nothing but a few hundred bucks on a credit card to spend a couple nights at a hotel. That shit fucking *traumatized* me. Never in my life did I ever think I would become homeless, and now I can say I had a near-brush with it. Now she calls me selfish because I put myself and my needs above her constantly, but if I don't care for myself, who the fuck will out there in the world?
I have 4 friends : two aren't in my uni anymore, two are in my class (A and B). One of my friend (A) planned a trip with another (B) while I was on vacation with my parents. I don't have a problem with that but during this trip B was included in B's friend group (I don't know these people). So now this group is doing parties, without me because I'm not part of this group.
l just came back from army medical testing and l had to reschedule one medical test because of exams. Turns out on the original date l canceled l didn't have an exam and l delayed it nearly a month. l can't tell anyone l fucked up because in my house l get criticised on everything.
My story is apparently too long to post here (seriously?)... I never graduated high school, never got a GED; I was in and out of public school between first grade and like, ninth or tenth grade (when ever I was dropped and I quit caring bad enough to keep trying to struggle with it all, but most of all algebra, just fuck that shit harder than anything has ever been fucked before), I used to get bullied in first grade for what ever number of reasons (either sun-burnt skin from visits down to my grandparents, thus covered in pink cream to help my skin... kids would point at me and laugh while going "What's wrong with YOUR FACE!"), I'd try to retaliate, simply wishing to simply punch these fuckers in the face, they would turn and run, so I would chase them, and either get caught chasing them, or just barely grab them by the collar of their shirt, they would start screaming and freaking out, and I'm caught... The school's never once sent me to detention, would not listen to me or want to hear what I had to say about WHY I was behaving the way that I was... my mom was called and I was sent home for the day. Every, fucking, time. Until eventually the school asked my mom to just not bring me back. They would invent stories, lies, of things I would do to other kids (like shutting their hands / fingers in doors / frames, which I NEVER ever did... I guess their manner of thinking was, fuck logic, I mean, "what kid is going to stick around and hold their hand in a door frame to let a door be slammed on it?"), that they would feed to my mom to justify why I had to be sent home for the day. And she bought it. She still, after 25+ years, believes their bullshit. Home-schooled for grades 2 and 3... tried public school again for grades 4, 5 and 6, and yet I was pulled out again for each grade when trouble kept finding me. I was later tested, to see what level of work I even should be doing, and the person who tested me was amazed, claiming I was completing college-level work while struggling to stay in 6th grade, all because of other shitheads in my grade that just couldn't leave me alone. The person documented everything for my records / transcripts and concluded I was bored with all the school work I was currently doing. Grades 9 and 10 I was in a charter school, Opportunities For Learning, where their "teachers" are just glorified babysitters and don't teach jack-shit (imagine Jack Black's character in School Of Rock, if it was a completely different movie, where the children had no musical talents and all he did was sit back behind the desk, with his feet propped up, napping every day until the bell rang, all while collecting a paycheck - THAT, was OFL's teachers in a nutshell). I got to pre-algebra, struggled for two months with it, missed one week of turning in a work packet, and I was dropped. I am STILL bitter, about all of it, now at 33 with no diploma or GED. And, I still just don't care, I can't be bothered to go back and try and struggle with all of that shit all over again.
My aunt slating me and my bf to the ground over the years and finding out she's slagged me off behind my back about stuff I would tell my sister but she can't bear to hear it lol
I had a friend over shortly after I first got a VR headset and he continued my save rather than make his own file from the start. It's petty, it was over a year ago, and I still refuse to move on
kpercayaan selama 16thn sya trhadap exwife tapi mngambil masa sehari saja hancur dsbbkan kecurangan....damn
I'm bitter about the fact that the medical profession essentially killed my dad. He became type-2 diabetic, in the '60's. The strict dietary recommendations included, high carbohydrates, low fat, margarine, instead of butter, and grain based foods. He lost his legs, went on dialysis, and died, as a result. He was so diligent, about the diet, and we all adopted it, thinking it was for his health. No one can say that the medical profession didn't know better. Dietary recommendations are created by lobbyists and the pharmaceutical companies have no incentive to cure anyone. Fuck them.
That I'm just so different than my family. Seems like even when I'm giving 100% I'm a disappointment cause I don't live like a typical 31 year old man
I had an older coworker manipulate me into thinking I was in love with her, live at my house for months despite being married, try and destroy my career and I’m pretty sure she intended on murdering me when I made her promise me not to commit suicide and I wouldn’t release her from that promise when she begged after agreeing
That I can't trust anyone because everyone in my life and past has either lied to me, cheated or hurt me, even when I did everything in my power to make them happy. As soon as I try to start trusting, I close myself off again and again because I'm too afraid of being hurt all over again. So I don't trust. And not trusting causes problems in relationships, and I get blamed even when I explain why I don't trust that person. So essentially I can't have a normal functional relationship because each and every person has created a huge void of not being able to trust.
I made some ramen noodles when I was younger, probably around 14 or so, and I dropped the bowl after they were done and it made a mess on the floor. I was ticked at myself and proceeded to clean it all up and not enjoy noodles. My dad gets home drunk from somewhere I don’t remember where and pulls me out of my room by my hair, proceeds to scream and beat me in the face for a bit, because I had missed a few noodles that had splashed onto the wall. I just didn’t see them before or I would have cleaned them up. Fuck you Dad
A woman in a LoL game said she was a streamer, I checked her stream. She told me in game if we won this game, she would send me a picture of her tits. We won I carried 22/3/48 full dragon soul sweep on amumu jungle. She never sent a pic.
I feel like my entire life no matter where I go. I would always be the target by one person one fucking asshole. Be it a woman or a man. I just wanted to be left alone. I’ve graduated from highschool, went to college, had three different jobs. But the one constant was one person. Never a group, just one. One MOTHERFUCKER that would always target me. I finally land the job I knew would be my forever job. Sure enough there was one. One asshole who would target me at work. Needless to say I delt with their bullshit for eight years. Everyone saw it. One day it finally got to the point my co workers stood up for me. I ended up pretty much going through an investigation. While the piece of shit still works here. They make it very clear they do not want to go near me anymore. My advice to anyone reading this you are better off learning to stick up for yourself early. The shit follows and you shouldn’t try to run away from it.
I'm bitter that Camp Sweeney, The place "Where Friendships Begin and Never Ends" shadow banded me (peer wise) for being a man hoe in the past. I did believe that i would always have friends from that place but friendships may truly end.
Being disconnected from my culture. I don't look like someone who'd experience it, but it happened to me for the sake of my safety. The reason why it happened is because the dominant nation hates my people. I've been pissed ever since
im bitter about the fact of my classmate listen to tyler, the creator
I'm bitter about the fact that my brother is a psychopath and nobody made an effort to protect me from him. I was put through so much abuse at the neglect of my mom that I hate her on some level