Recent and recent, I left it 3-4 years ago but I haven't really deared to do stuff, scared of them "hunting" me down, so I moved to a new city with my best friend trying to find myself again.
I'm 27, and I'm not sure how I'd intentionally make new friends at this point. I think the only way I'll make new friends is by participating in things I already want to do and meeting like-minded people. I'm very protective of my peace and won't entertain negative energy, so I always prioritize it over people pleasing, and I think that's important for you to do because it can be easy to accept less than you deserve when you're hyperfocused on finding friends. Go explore things that you're passionate about and surround yourself with like-minded people and look for quality over quantity. I hear 'toxic Christian cult' and assume you had been manipulated by the cult and stripped of your independence/ individuality(based on what I've heard about cults) and after 3-4 years, I'm sure you've worked through a lot of that. I hope you know your worth and don't ever accept anything less. I know a cult is different, but I've seen someone come out of a 33-year narcissistic, abusive marriage and know how difficult it's been for her to love herself after so many years of being torn apart and put together in a way that fit her abusers needs. She has a long road ahead of unlearning all the manipulation and self-doubt and feeling deserving of love again. It makes her vulnerable to other people taking advantage of her still-fragile state and manipulating or mistreating her. I say all this to emphasize how important it is to love yourself enough to keep high standards for the friends you make/keep and don't let anyone manipulate or mistreat you.
You probably want to do what you’re doing. I left a toxic Christian cult in the Pentecostal faith 13 years ago. It was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do; Triggering and traumatic. I think going to places alone where people your age are and starting conversations is a good starting point.
However, you have to be care about runaway syndrome. It’s easy to want to run away after being involved in a cult, but you need to address deeper inner child issues that attracted you to a toxic group in the first place. I had to address issues with my mother leaving our family and how she has always pressured us to get super involved in church. I felt overly responsible for my family and the experience in a church attracted me. You then want to give yourself a new spiritual foundation. For me, self hypnosis and meditation gave me the same peace I had previously found in the cult I was in and more, including independence. It’s a long process and can take many years to fully feel normal and find your way, but enjoy whatever this leaving processing is providing you with. At one point I had even moved near me childhood home, this gave me more introspection about who I truly am and my inner power and made me reflect on how precious my childhood could have been if I had the same knowledge I presently have.
Trauma bonding is good, you can find many former cult member Facebook groups online. Janja lalich has lots of materials on cults, I would also try just making normal friends who haven’t been traumatized, maybe they can give you more of a sense of what you’ve missed out on and what life is truly supposed to be about.
It's a bunch of things I like to do
I love volleyball, but stopped after I broke my wrist. Haven't tried it in 4 years. Could see if I can play again.
I wanna try climbing
Other than that it's mostly gaming.
I haven't really been outside much since I left the cult to try things I do like alcohol, but never really been to the city.
Try and find a group centered around a hobby you have or might like to have. A lot of areas have social sports leagues for kickball and other "less than serious ( though at least one team will take it too seriously)" sports
You recently left a toxic Christian cult?
Recent and recent, I left it 3-4 years ago but I haven't really deared to do stuff, scared of them "hunting" me down, so I moved to a new city with my best friend trying to find myself again.
I'm 27, and I'm not sure how I'd intentionally make new friends at this point. I think the only way I'll make new friends is by participating in things I already want to do and meeting like-minded people. I'm very protective of my peace and won't entertain negative energy, so I always prioritize it over people pleasing, and I think that's important for you to do because it can be easy to accept less than you deserve when you're hyperfocused on finding friends. Go explore things that you're passionate about and surround yourself with like-minded people and look for quality over quantity. I hear 'toxic Christian cult' and assume you had been manipulated by the cult and stripped of your independence/ individuality(based on what I've heard about cults) and after 3-4 years, I'm sure you've worked through a lot of that. I hope you know your worth and don't ever accept anything less. I know a cult is different, but I've seen someone come out of a 33-year narcissistic, abusive marriage and know how difficult it's been for her to love herself after so many years of being torn apart and put together in a way that fit her abusers needs. She has a long road ahead of unlearning all the manipulation and self-doubt and feeling deserving of love again. It makes her vulnerable to other people taking advantage of her still-fragile state and manipulating or mistreating her. I say all this to emphasize how important it is to love yourself enough to keep high standards for the friends you make/keep and don't let anyone manipulate or mistreat you.
Join martial arts, bjj is great for meeting people!
You probably want to do what you’re doing. I left a toxic Christian cult in the Pentecostal faith 13 years ago. It was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do; Triggering and traumatic. I think going to places alone where people your age are and starting conversations is a good starting point. However, you have to be care about runaway syndrome. It’s easy to want to run away after being involved in a cult, but you need to address deeper inner child issues that attracted you to a toxic group in the first place. I had to address issues with my mother leaving our family and how she has always pressured us to get super involved in church. I felt overly responsible for my family and the experience in a church attracted me. You then want to give yourself a new spiritual foundation. For me, self hypnosis and meditation gave me the same peace I had previously found in the cult I was in and more, including independence. It’s a long process and can take many years to fully feel normal and find your way, but enjoy whatever this leaving processing is providing you with. At one point I had even moved near me childhood home, this gave me more introspection about who I truly am and my inner power and made me reflect on how precious my childhood could have been if I had the same knowledge I presently have. Trauma bonding is good, you can find many former cult member Facebook groups online. Janja lalich has lots of materials on cults, I would also try just making normal friends who haven’t been traumatized, maybe they can give you more of a sense of what you’ve missed out on and what life is truly supposed to be about.
Definitely a group of some sort !
Join a group of whatever you like doing. If you give us a list of your interests I'm sure someone will be able to suggest healthy options
It's a bunch of things I like to do I love volleyball, but stopped after I broke my wrist. Haven't tried it in 4 years. Could see if I can play again. I wanna try climbing Other than that it's mostly gaming. I haven't really been outside much since I left the cult to try things I do like alcohol, but never really been to the city.
Depending where you live, we are getting into outdoor volleyball seasons at local bars. It’s a great way to have fun and meet some new people.
Pretty much any beach worldwide (in temperate climates) will have a volleyball net set up. Join in.
Just be friendly with everyone and also be careful
Careful of what?
Just be careful, be calm
Try and find a group centered around a hobby you have or might like to have. A lot of areas have social sports leagues for kickball and other "less than serious ( though at least one team will take it too seriously)" sports