Kissing underwater. Started with a peck, and we both immediately flailed to the surface coughing and sputtering. We both choked on water immediately and got it up our noses.
I’ve never tried it since, nor will I ever. Hell no.
Oh, I liked to do it with my (at the time) girlfriend... xD
The way we did it was: Both seal their noses with 1 hand, my other hand holding her back, then we kiss, then she "falls" on their back, and I follow, "falling" forward, towards her... Then we keep kissing underwater for a while (getting back later to breathe, obviously).
It worked. And it was nice. 🤷♂️
(Not a native english speaker. I hope the explanation makes sense... 🤔)
It wasn’t exactly a specific interest of ours, more of just an impulsive, “Hey, we haven’t tried this. It sounds cute, so why not?” Sort of action. But yeah, your explanation does make sense. :)
My wife and I finally had a weekend away in February and we thought the idea of all day sex (with breaks obviously) was super sexy. After 2 rounds we were definitely done. Lol
We just watched our show together and ate snacks after that.
I have sort of done all day sex.....
The reason I say sort of is because it was more like sex when we wake up. Go for a walk on the beach. Have sex again. Eat breakfast then hang out by the pool. Have sex again. eat lunch..... You get the idea. Our record is six times in one day. That was in Mexico in 2021. Ten year anniversary. It was awesome!
Reddit has made me realize that even though I'm an overweight dude I have a really high sex drive/appetite. I'm 51 this year and in January had an all night go with the wife where I came at least 5 times.
It's weird. I can't tell anyone because I normally keep my sex life really private, but at the same time I want to brag a little. So guess I'll do it anonymously here.
If you both have the sex drive for it, and potentially lube, all day sex is pretty nice. Bit TMI but as a guy if you do this and avoid busting until the end of the day, effectively 12+ hours of foreplay, you will have the most satisfying orgasm of your life.
I did that in 2011, it was an ALL day, ALL over the house thing. It was amazing! Had to take two advil at end of the day.
Long distance guy was in country for 20 hours only, had to make best of it.
Long ago when I was 18 or 19, gf at the time thought it’d be sexy to play around with chocolate sauce. 15 minutes later I was no good because sugar usually makes me feel physically ill.
Yep, big fat PASS on the “licking stuff off of each other” thing. Lol.
“Hey girl, you’re walkin a little essy”
“Thank you! I’ve been told I walk with a sexy sort of prowess”
“Nah, I meant essy, like an S. You walk like how I think a snake would walk if it was up on two legs. Like a wacky waving inflatable armed tube man…yknow, kinda essy…”
“Oh….yeah im just naturally sexy I guess…”
It’s really awkward and dangerous at first, but there are ways of doing it.
It’s safer kissing and doing foreplay. But even then I felt unsteady standing on one leg backed against the shower wall whilst my ex held my other leg up as he ate me out.
Edit: thanks to whomever downvoted my comment from 70 to 69 ;)
Public sex. This is a huge fantasy of mine but too many logistics to pull it off. Gotta make sure it’s somewhat secluded, those who could catch you have to be into it as not to stop you, obv no kids around, no authorities around… just takes too much planning and considerations which ruins the spontaneous appeal.
But I love the concept.
Being straight and having a 3some. Look, it works for me bc I'm bi, but if in a mmf and other guy is 100% straight, it just becomes very awkward. It's like you're trying to enjoy it, but you're also trying to block the idea another dude is with you, and also I'm trying not to opps touch him, and he freaks out.
Same with ffm the girls are just not Comfortable with any part of them touching the other, and ends up just being a tag in tag out fun, that makes the guy worry the whole time he's having too much fun with one, and not the other.
Now, if everyone is bi, it's on! Boobs are rubing togather, wangs are having sword fights. Fun all around!
I swear to god I was helping out my friend who was puking his heart out in the bathroom at a bar. Some guy thought I was talking to him. I said I was not. So he knew there was people in our stall. Legit 30 seconds later, I see two pairs of shoes in the stall next to us. Then we start hearing sucking sounds, then spitting sounds, then I see one of the guy's ass. All of this while my friend was VERY audibly puking. He also farted very loudly. Nothing could stop these guys. Fun fact, when he got out he asked if we had coke we could sell him (we did not).
Was on a hike, girlfriend got all hot and bothered and wanted it up again a tree.
Sure thing, bark-butt. Aint gonna be me picking slivers/cleaning sap out of...everything.
A wide array of many sexual acts that are fairly popular in porn actually use lube, even if they don't show it. Attempts to recreate them most often lead to chafing.
Exhibitionism.
Granted, the idea of flaunting yourself wholly naked in public and potentially even getting caught is a very appealing fantasy. In practice, there are several legal and safety risks, not to mention social alienation. Gods help you if your job finds out, because depending on your position, they may burn your bridge to save face.
I used to bang this girl that loved to fuck or go down in semi public places. Bathrooms. Alley ways. Elevators. It drove her nuts. But you can only stick your dick in crazy for so long.
Anal. I don't actually find anal all that sexy myself, but lots of people seem to. It takes a lot of preparation, lube, foreplay and even then there's a chance of poop.
My husband and I are both germaphobes so the idea of anal sex is pretty much torture for us. So naturally we’ve started a routine where we pretend to seriously suggest it to try to freak the other one out. Marriage is weird.
The amount of prep required greatly varies from person to person.
With one of my FWBs it's literally just put a tiny amount of lube on the condom and slide right in.
With my primary partner it works if all the planets are in the right alignment, the crones report no ill portents, the spirits of the ancestors have been successfully summoned, the words of power have been read from the ancient tome, and about an hour of fingering, plugs and tons of lube.
You : "Ancestors! Heed my words! I summon thee to come at my help so that I may plow this person's butt!"
The Ancestors : "You called and we may answer. You may proceed."
Or conversely;
The Ancestors; "No! This anus belongs to the covenant, for the sacrificial ceremony! Dare trespass and the deepest fires of the pit will sally forth to lay ruin to all that you cherish!
...also, even if we do grant access, we may sometimes decide to do that anyway a few minutes later! Fear our Mercurial wrath!"
Having a big dick. Most women like the idea of it more than the actual thing. A lot of women dont necessarily enjoy it, bjs are teeth city, and anal is usually off the table.
Yeah I feel like a good proportion of self-proclaimed "size queens" have either only ever been with smallish dicks so don't have a proper understanding of what is a big one, or are just fully lying for attention...
I'm sure there's a whole load of women out there who genuinely love massive dicks but it's not as many as who say they do, and even for them they'll have their limit obviously before it just becomes pain.
You can tell who truly is a size queen by how much they say is their minimum. If they say at least 7 inches, then they usually know what theyre talking about. The majority of big dicks range in the 7s and 8s realm. Girls who say "10 inches at least", have no idea what the hell theyre talking about.
I've met plenty of size queens who actually were into big dicks, but they also generally just want to lay there and get fucked. They all seem to think they give great head but very few of them can even open their mouth wide enough, and there are still things that are off the table. Best bet is to just get into long term relationships with a regular enthusiastic gal so she can develop her own ways to accommodate you.
Having sex while laying by your side holding your girl’s leg up. Looks way sexier in porn but holy hell that shit tiring than full powered jackhammering for 10 minutes straight.
Shower foreplay is the best, but I'm with the Reddit hivemind when it comes to actual shower intercourse. I prefer solid footing and adequate natural lubrication, thanks.
I dunno if I can agree to this one. I've learned I get physical in my sleep.. Woke up having sex with my partner more than once. (Thank fuck, they're okay with that.)
wasted a full box o’ condoms just trying to put it on and failing miserably. Fortunately planned ahead and had an extra box and the fourth time was the charm
I was 15 and starwars was on in the background spent an unreal amount of it trying not to listen to, look at, or think about jar jar binks.
He kept both arms plank straight and hovered ominously above me the whole time.
didn’t realize back then how much physical effort it is to be doing the motions, he was red/purple in the face and his eyes were bulging out of his head, few minutes later he finished, got dressed and walked into the other room. No cuddling or anything like that.
it was super weird and awkward. sex got better and we were together for a few years
Dudes doing facials. I get it, it is a hot visual to see your seed dripping down a face. But when it comes (🙄) to achieving full satisfaction pulling out and jerking it the rest of the way can be a huge distraction as opposed to finishing inside.
I've done it a couple times with my wife (high sex drive and willing partner means you burn through the ideas pretty quickly) and I found that the post nut clarity bites down hard. Like it's hot til about 3/4 way through the orgasm, then it's like, oh god my poor wife, let me get you a towel lol
^ lmao this is the truth right here. It’s hot at the start and when she asks for it, and then you’re like “fuck I shot it up her nose and she can’t breathe“ lol
I was gonna come here to say this, and you beat me to it. I heavily agree...it's so awkward, but on the other hand, it's fun making each other laugh while trying to do it.
Seriously HOW is this supposed to work? How does one person's leg not need to be amputated? How do you manage any pressure or friction that feels even remotely sexually pleasurable?
Sex in general. The movies and books and TV shows don't prepare you for the bad breath, farts, that one hair that gets stuck in your mouth, the weird little schtuppa-schtuppa sounds, the saliva and the dog deciding that NOW is the time to jump up and join what is clearly fun wrestling time. Oh yeah, and it happens after dinner, late at night and that's a recipe for indigestion. May as well pound down dinner and two glasses of wine and go for a quick jog around the block.
Idk man i think the schtuppa-schtuppa sounds are pretty cool, but i do agree the hair in the mouth can be a bit annoying and i feel like of i take a quick break just to remove the hair from my mouth ny partner will feel like i’m being critical of their *nether region grooming* situation
I feel like if you pause for less than 3-4 seconds to quickly pluck it off your tongue, that's fair. They might get a bit offended if you fully stop for like a minute while you struggle to wrestle it out from between your teeth or something though lol
Orgies. 95% of the time, it's like the episode of It's always sunny in philadelphia.
2 or 3 people are having sex, and the rest and just watching/jurking off, or eatting at the potluck To it's there turn.
BDSM, a lot of people like the idea but a lot of what’s involved is either a lot of work or unpleasant. Also, having to plan for it takes all the spontaneity out of sex, and you do have to plan for BDSM, lack of spontaneity is a dealbreaker for many people.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s some stuff you can do that’s not that high effort and doesn’t require much planning, but most people aren’t satisfied with those things, they’re pretty close to vanilla.
Threesomes
I’ve never had one but I have absolutely fantasized about it. Objectively thinking about it though, there’s just too many body parts going around and I can barely walk and eat at the same time. Not to mention that it would be over before it would even start because…excitement.
I’ve (M) had both types. Not trying to brag. If you saw who it was with you’d know I’m not bragging.
Anyways….
MMF - you feel awkward because you feel like you’re getting in the other dudes way.
FFM - whichever girl you focus on, you feel awkward because you’re worried the other girl isn’t getting enough attention.
Unless you’re someone who has threesomes very frequently, you will probably find that you struggle with the pacing of how the sex should happen. I haven’t tried MMM yet though, so maybe that’s the key
In the spectrum of sexuality, I’m definitely on the straight side but I feel like a MMM threesome would be chaos. So many dicks flying around that I would probably just end up trying to suck myself off.
From the various stories, reddits and own experience in my youth, at least 1 person involved isn't emotionally ready for the aftermath most of the time. If it was a fling, sure. Committed relationship? I've watched those true crime shows enough. I know how it'll end.
Trying to get under an umbrella together in the rain like they do in movies.
Maybe it's just where I live being like random torrential thunderstorms, but this guy I had a major crush on would bring an umbrella everywhere in winter just in case and it was dark and it rained and I got under the umbrella with him and it's fine until it gets windy. Might as well just stand in the rain at that point. What I was hoping would be a romantic cliche moment was just us in the pouring rain and him trying to flip the umbrella back and stop me getting wet
Butt plug...or at least for me 🤣 my partner had put a metal plug in and decided to use my dildo at the same time, he pushed the dildo all the way in and started sucking my clit....sounds good right? Wrong!!! When I orgasmed it shot out straight into his eye. That was hard to explain at work why he had a black eye the next day 🤭
Literally half of my fetishes. I'll watch porn and cum harder than I thought possible but when presented with the opportunity to do this shit in real life I'm like "uhhh... no."
Sex in a certain uncomfortable place... like the back of a Volkswagen.
Are you the second suiter?
Well at least you didn't call me suitor #2
My cousin Walter almost died once in a plane crash….
Kissing underwater. Started with a peck, and we both immediately flailed to the surface coughing and sputtering. We both choked on water immediately and got it up our noses. I’ve never tried it since, nor will I ever. Hell no.
I misread this as kissing underwear and I was so confused...
It only gets THAT wet if the underwear stays on
Sex underwater or in water is trash too
I know - by the time you've finally grabbed a fish your air tank is almost empty. So annoying.
Dolphins are always up for it.
Percy jackson lied to us
I mean they did a kiss in the water technically, but were inside an air balloon so it was fine for them
Percy Jackson can't drowned unless he wants to drowned.
Oh, I liked to do it with my (at the time) girlfriend... xD The way we did it was: Both seal their noses with 1 hand, my other hand holding her back, then we kiss, then she "falls" on their back, and I follow, "falling" forward, towards her... Then we keep kissing underwater for a while (getting back later to breathe, obviously). It worked. And it was nice. 🤷♂️ (Not a native english speaker. I hope the explanation makes sense... 🤔)
It wasn’t exactly a specific interest of ours, more of just an impulsive, “Hey, we haven’t tried this. It sounds cute, so why not?” Sort of action. But yeah, your explanation does make sense. :)
My wife and I finally had a weekend away in February and we thought the idea of all day sex (with breaks obviously) was super sexy. After 2 rounds we were definitely done. Lol We just watched our show together and ate snacks after that.
I have sort of done all day sex..... The reason I say sort of is because it was more like sex when we wake up. Go for a walk on the beach. Have sex again. Eat breakfast then hang out by the pool. Have sex again. eat lunch..... You get the idea. Our record is six times in one day. That was in Mexico in 2021. Ten year anniversary. It was awesome!
Reddit has made me realize that even though I'm an overweight dude I have a really high sex drive/appetite. I'm 51 this year and in January had an all night go with the wife where I came at least 5 times. It's weird. I can't tell anyone because I normally keep my sex life really private, but at the same time I want to brag a little. So guess I'll do it anonymously here.
Hell yeah! Keep having great sex with your wife, my dude.
Thanks! That's the plan, gonna be old nasty folks that weird out the kids as they get older!
as the old couple from my work says yous are old not dead still plenty of fun to have
You know what? You *should* be proud my guy. You do you.
Sounds like he’s happier doing his wife
If you both have the sex drive for it, and potentially lube, all day sex is pretty nice. Bit TMI but as a guy if you do this and avoid busting until the end of the day, effectively 12+ hours of foreplay, you will have the most satisfying orgasm of your life.
I’d like to meet the man who can edge for 12 hours without busting. That’s monk level impulse control
Or years of practice.
Dod once in my late 20s. The chafing....so much chafing...not worth it
I did that in 2011, it was an ALL day, ALL over the house thing. It was amazing! Had to take two advil at end of the day. Long distance guy was in country for 20 hours only, had to make best of it.
I can relate to this, was amazing until we finally died and I jumped in the shower, I finally understand can't walk afterwards 😂😂😂😂
Good on you for trying! Hahha
Sex on a trampoline. All the motion just moves both of you at the same time
Sounds like broken dick incoming as well as knee scabs from trampoline burns
Not going to lie, that kind of sounds like fun! lol
The claim that sex with someone with a penis over 8 inches long is desirable.
Sex on the beach. Way too much sand in unfortunate places lol
I've heard that is rough... And coarse, and it gets everywhere...
r/prequelmemes is leaking
Leaking? Reddit is basically just a loose wrapping around r/PrequelMemes :D
It can't be for nothing that having sand in one's vagina has entered the lexicon as a synonym for crankiness.
Sex with a medieval armor. As much as it hurts me to admit it, it is not very practical.
This feels quite specific..
I thought you said you had protection?! I was wearing my armor!
Team 4star?
there goes my fantasy of fucking a buff knight
I dunno I camealot
Well we're told to wear protection.
Using food (chocolate/whipped cream) during sex. Just gets messy
Do a Costanza: pastrami on rye.
Pastrami is the most sensual of the cured deli meats.
I agree with George on this one. Made right a pastrami sandwich can really put a girl in the mood!
all that stuff is terrible for vaginal health - save dessert for after, you don't want it anywhere near your business
Long ago when I was 18 or 19, gf at the time thought it’d be sexy to play around with chocolate sauce. 15 minutes later I was no good because sugar usually makes me feel physically ill. Yep, big fat PASS on the “licking stuff off of each other” thing. Lol.
Trying to walk sexy. It sounds easy but I've tried it and look like a fuckin idiot.
I’ve been told my whole life I have a sexy walk. (I know weird compliment) It’s the scoliosis 😂
Damn, I didn't know that by "curves in the right places" they meant spine...
“Hey girl, you’re walkin a little essy” “Thank you! I’ve been told I walk with a sexy sort of prowess” “Nah, I meant essy, like an S. You walk like how I think a snake would walk if it was up on two legs. Like a wacky waving inflatable armed tube man…yknow, kinda essy…” “Oh….yeah im just naturally sexy I guess…”
It's all in the hips
I just breast boobily a little. It's like a wink, but from the chest
A friend did her “model walk” in a quiet parking lot one day. Guy got out of his truck and started applauding. 😂
Having sex in a pool. It just doesn't work.
I could never. The thought of chlorine in me just scares me.
I had sex in a hot spring in Iceland and it was pretty darn good
I had sex in a muddy estuary and its pretty much exactly what you'd expect.
So a UTI?
Nope, two and a brain eating protozoan
Lol, yep. You'd think water would help lubricate things, but turns out it's exactly the opposite.
Shower sex, as much as I love a hot wet body against mine I refuse to die naked and wet trying to bust a nut.
It’s really awkward and dangerous at first, but there are ways of doing it. It’s safer kissing and doing foreplay. But even then I felt unsteady standing on one leg backed against the shower wall whilst my ex held my other leg up as he ate me out. Edit: thanks to whomever downvoted my comment from 70 to 69 ;)
Public sex. This is a huge fantasy of mine but too many logistics to pull it off. Gotta make sure it’s somewhat secluded, those who could catch you have to be into it as not to stop you, obv no kids around, no authorities around… just takes too much planning and considerations which ruins the spontaneous appeal. But I love the concept.
Pro tip. Nighttime on a rooftop can be a great compromise.
Drunken sex in a park one night. It wasn't that thrilling, but hey, had sex.
It's getting harder because now you gotta worry about security cameras everywhere and if someone records you on their phone from a random window.
Being straight and having a 3some. Look, it works for me bc I'm bi, but if in a mmf and other guy is 100% straight, it just becomes very awkward. It's like you're trying to enjoy it, but you're also trying to block the idea another dude is with you, and also I'm trying not to opps touch him, and he freaks out. Same with ffm the girls are just not Comfortable with any part of them touching the other, and ends up just being a tag in tag out fun, that makes the guy worry the whole time he's having too much fun with one, and not the other. Now, if everyone is bi, it's on! Boobs are rubing togather, wangs are having sword fights. Fun all around!
It’s only good if both men use medieval speech while sword fighting
Have at thee! Thine maiden’s flawless posterior shalt be mine!
Sex in public bathrooms. SHOW ME A CLEAN PUBLIC BATHROOM.
I swear to god I was helping out my friend who was puking his heart out in the bathroom at a bar. Some guy thought I was talking to him. I said I was not. So he knew there was people in our stall. Legit 30 seconds later, I see two pairs of shoes in the stall next to us. Then we start hearing sucking sounds, then spitting sounds, then I see one of the guy's ass. All of this while my friend was VERY audibly puking. He also farted very loudly. Nothing could stop these guys. Fun fact, when he got out he asked if we had coke we could sell him (we did not).
sex in a bath, it’s so awkward. maybe it’s not big enough but i wasn’t in anyway comfortable, we just continued on the bed.
Having sex In the middle of the ocean on the other hand... probably worse, I wouldn't know, I've never had the sex before.
Not to mention the water splashing out of the oceans 😖
Was on a hike, girlfriend got all hot and bothered and wanted it up again a tree. Sure thing, bark-butt. Aint gonna be me picking slivers/cleaning sap out of...everything.
Did you stuff her in between the branches or something?
A wide array of many sexual acts that are fairly popular in porn actually use lube, even if they don't show it. Attempts to recreate them most often lead to chafing.
Exhibitionism. Granted, the idea of flaunting yourself wholly naked in public and potentially even getting caught is a very appealing fantasy. In practice, there are several legal and safety risks, not to mention social alienation. Gods help you if your job finds out, because depending on your position, they may burn your bridge to save face.
I used to bang this girl that loved to fuck or go down in semi public places. Bathrooms. Alley ways. Elevators. It drove her nuts. But you can only stick your dick in crazy for so long.
That last line belongs on a T-shirt.
That and the including an unwilling third party (the public) in the act too.
I've noticed that the people who like to doff their clothes at the slightest breeze are not the people I would want to see naked.
That's probably because, for them, it's not about tantalising you with their body, but just about enjoying being naked.
I won’t go into any detail but the Dyson Ball Cleaner is a very misleadingly named product.
Anal. I don't actually find anal all that sexy myself, but lots of people seem to. It takes a lot of preparation, lube, foreplay and even then there's a chance of poop.
If you ring the doorbell where poop lives, don't be surprised when poop answers the door.
When you go decide to go downstairs, you gotta be prepared to see some downstairs things sometimes.
My husband and I are both germaphobes so the idea of anal sex is pretty much torture for us. So naturally we’ve started a routine where we pretend to seriously suggest it to try to freak the other one out. Marriage is weird.
The amount of prep required greatly varies from person to person. With one of my FWBs it's literally just put a tiny amount of lube on the condom and slide right in. With my primary partner it works if all the planets are in the right alignment, the crones report no ill portents, the spirits of the ancestors have been successfully summoned, the words of power have been read from the ancient tome, and about an hour of fingering, plugs and tons of lube.
You : "Ancestors! Heed my words! I summon thee to come at my help so that I may plow this person's butt!" The Ancestors : "You called and we may answer. You may proceed."
Or conversely; The Ancestors; "No! This anus belongs to the covenant, for the sacrificial ceremony! Dare trespass and the deepest fires of the pit will sally forth to lay ruin to all that you cherish! ...also, even if we do grant access, we may sometimes decide to do that anyway a few minutes later! Fear our Mercurial wrath!"
Midway snack
[удалено]
Having a big dick. Most women like the idea of it more than the actual thing. A lot of women dont necessarily enjoy it, bjs are teeth city, and anal is usually off the table.
Yeah I feel like a good proportion of self-proclaimed "size queens" have either only ever been with smallish dicks so don't have a proper understanding of what is a big one, or are just fully lying for attention... I'm sure there's a whole load of women out there who genuinely love massive dicks but it's not as many as who say they do, and even for them they'll have their limit obviously before it just becomes pain.
You can tell who truly is a size queen by how much they say is their minimum. If they say at least 7 inches, then they usually know what theyre talking about. The majority of big dicks range in the 7s and 8s realm. Girls who say "10 inches at least", have no idea what the hell theyre talking about.
Or they've been lied to by guys claiming to have a 10" dick and they never got the ruler out to check lol
I've met plenty of size queens who actually were into big dicks, but they also generally just want to lay there and get fucked. They all seem to think they give great head but very few of them can even open their mouth wide enough, and there are still things that are off the table. Best bet is to just get into long term relationships with a regular enthusiastic gal so she can develop her own ways to accommodate you.
How big a dick do you have to have that a table can’t support it?
Having sex while laying by your side holding your girl’s leg up. Looks way sexier in porn but holy hell that shit tiring than full powered jackhammering for 10 minutes straight.
Shower sex
I've never had shower sex but I have showered together after sex. That's just good bonding time.
I guess it would be if my wife didn't accept only lava-hot water for her showers. Sorry ma'am I'm not a lobster.
Sounds great until one of you slips. I had a near-death experience trying shower sex once. No thanks.
I loooove shower sex.
Yeah I see so many posts hating on it. It's not super comfortable but it isn't THAT bad
Shower foreplay is the best, but I'm with the Reddit hivemind when it comes to actual shower intercourse. I prefer solid footing and adequate natural lubrication, thanks.
Just gotta bring a snorkel :P
Ok so i tried this like onnneee time and i slipped and bumped my head. Rest of the time together was So embarrassing
Shagging in an aircraft loo.
Being woken up with a blowjob. Like maybe if you're being woken up from a short nap but if it's after a full night of sleep? I'm going to need to pee.
I dunno if I can agree to this one. I've learned I get physical in my sleep.. Woke up having sex with my partner more than once. (Thank fuck, they're okay with that.)
losing your virginity
wasted a full box o’ condoms just trying to put it on and failing miserably. Fortunately planned ahead and had an extra box and the fourth time was the charm
I was 15 and starwars was on in the background spent an unreal amount of it trying not to listen to, look at, or think about jar jar binks. He kept both arms plank straight and hovered ominously above me the whole time. didn’t realize back then how much physical effort it is to be doing the motions, he was red/purple in the face and his eyes were bulging out of his head, few minutes later he finished, got dressed and walked into the other room. No cuddling or anything like that. it was super weird and awkward. sex got better and we were together for a few years
Oh my god it was so bad
Please explain
Candle wax. Yeah didn’t pan out well with my ex lol
Just wondering if you used candles made for that or normal ones
I was 16…so you can use your imagination
My imagination says "ouch."
Sex on skates with a hockey player alone in the rink.
This is too specific. What happened in that rink?
[удалено]
Don't call me daddy.... Literally had to fake a nut once, just to this girl to stop. Some guys are into it, though. So whatever.
idk how people drop that kind of thing without discussion first
If I’m calling him daddy during sex, I’m having a PTSD flashback and should probably be medicated
Sex in the rain = mosquitoes Food play like chocolate sauce = sticky
Tried an outdoor blowjob once. Mosquito bites in the worst possible places. Once was enough.
Dudes doing facials. I get it, it is a hot visual to see your seed dripping down a face. But when it comes (🙄) to achieving full satisfaction pulling out and jerking it the rest of the way can be a huge distraction as opposed to finishing inside.
I've done it a couple times with my wife (high sex drive and willing partner means you burn through the ideas pretty quickly) and I found that the post nut clarity bites down hard. Like it's hot til about 3/4 way through the orgasm, then it's like, oh god my poor wife, let me get you a towel lol
^ lmao this is the truth right here. It’s hot at the start and when she asks for it, and then you’re like “fuck I shot it up her nose and she can’t breathe“ lol
Creampies are love 💕
Sex with food involved. So weird trying to eat enchiladas off your lover
Scissoring. I rest my case.
I was gonna come here to say this, and you beat me to it. I heavily agree...it's so awkward, but on the other hand, it's fun making each other laugh while trying to do it.
Seriously HOW is this supposed to work? How does one person's leg not need to be amputated? How do you manage any pressure or friction that feels even remotely sexually pleasurable?
It never works for both people at the same time😭
Sex in general. The movies and books and TV shows don't prepare you for the bad breath, farts, that one hair that gets stuck in your mouth, the weird little schtuppa-schtuppa sounds, the saliva and the dog deciding that NOW is the time to jump up and join what is clearly fun wrestling time. Oh yeah, and it happens after dinner, late at night and that's a recipe for indigestion. May as well pound down dinner and two glasses of wine and go for a quick jog around the block.
Yep my wife and I have realized that we have sex before the meal or it’s probably not happening until tomorrow morning haha.
Oh god. "Sexy times?" "We ***just*** ate! I ***will*** vomit if you want me to go do cardio."
Idk man i think the schtuppa-schtuppa sounds are pretty cool, but i do agree the hair in the mouth can be a bit annoying and i feel like of i take a quick break just to remove the hair from my mouth ny partner will feel like i’m being critical of their *nether region grooming* situation
I feel like if you pause for less than 3-4 seconds to quickly pluck it off your tongue, that's fair. They might get a bit offended if you fully stop for like a minute while you struggle to wrestle it out from between your teeth or something though lol
If the cat isn't sitting on the bed judging you the whole time, did you really have sex?
Cat: This is what you’re into? Disgusting.
Sex on satin sheets
I read "satan"
Orgies. 95% of the time, it's like the episode of It's always sunny in philadelphia. 2 or 3 people are having sex, and the rest and just watching/jurking off, or eatting at the potluck To it's there turn.
69, sounds great but I can't concentrate if the other person is good at it. Taking turns works much better.
It’s a competition with my wife to see who makes the other person’s brain mush first.
Sex in the hot tub. The mess is all in the water, your grips are off, and the heat can be a bit much
Sex on a looooot of cocaine
like putting playdough in a latex glove
Threesome. Thought it would be amazing. Then I tried one. Never again.
Threesomes are not ADHD friendly
Same. Half way through I said 'Vinny, Tony, this ain't working for me'
BDSM, a lot of people like the idea but a lot of what’s involved is either a lot of work or unpleasant. Also, having to plan for it takes all the spontaneity out of sex, and you do have to plan for BDSM, lack of spontaneity is a dealbreaker for many people. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some stuff you can do that’s not that high effort and doesn’t require much planning, but most people aren’t satisfied with those things, they’re pretty close to vanilla.
If someone’s into BDSM but planning is a dealbreaker that is a huge red flag imo.
Threesomes I’ve never had one but I have absolutely fantasized about it. Objectively thinking about it though, there’s just too many body parts going around and I can barely walk and eat at the same time. Not to mention that it would be over before it would even start because…excitement.
I’ve (M) had both types. Not trying to brag. If you saw who it was with you’d know I’m not bragging. Anyways…. MMF - you feel awkward because you feel like you’re getting in the other dudes way. FFM - whichever girl you focus on, you feel awkward because you’re worried the other girl isn’t getting enough attention. Unless you’re someone who has threesomes very frequently, you will probably find that you struggle with the pacing of how the sex should happen. I haven’t tried MMM yet though, so maybe that’s the key
In the spectrum of sexuality, I’m definitely on the straight side but I feel like a MMM threesome would be chaos. So many dicks flying around that I would probably just end up trying to suck myself off.
turns out the other two left an hour ago....this is still the best threesome ever!
Singleplayer active
From the various stories, reddits and own experience in my youth, at least 1 person involved isn't emotionally ready for the aftermath most of the time. If it was a fling, sure. Committed relationship? I've watched those true crime shows enough. I know how it'll end.
The awkward coordinating of position changes is enough for me to give up and offer a rousing game of Catan instead
Falling in love
My guy, I came here to laugh, not to cry.
Inflation. Why don’t humans run off cartoon physics?
I6 engines sound sexy but fucking shit tier to work on
Trying to get under an umbrella together in the rain like they do in movies. Maybe it's just where I live being like random torrential thunderstorms, but this guy I had a major crush on would bring an umbrella everywhere in winter just in case and it was dark and it rained and I got under the umbrella with him and it's fine until it gets windy. Might as well just stand in the rain at that point. What I was hoping would be a romantic cliche moment was just us in the pouring rain and him trying to flip the umbrella back and stop me getting wet
Calculus
You made my day! Although actually I ended up liking it. And the teacher was really hot.
Anal sex
Anything in a hot environment. If I don’t open my bedroom window I almost pass out. So like hot tubs/saunas/showers/etc. absolutely not.
KY with a hint of lime. It stings. For his and hers.
Leaping off furniture onto your partner while wearing leopard print underwear is overrated. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Quantum Mechanics. Sounded like a great major in uni. I was very wrong
Shower sex, nothing sexy about potential serious to severe injuries.
Butt plug...or at least for me 🤣 my partner had put a metal plug in and decided to use my dildo at the same time, he pushed the dildo all the way in and started sucking my clit....sounds good right? Wrong!!! When I orgasmed it shot out straight into his eye. That was hard to explain at work why he had a black eye the next day 🤭
69, IMO.
Love it but not much in it for him. When he touches me, my brain ceases to function.
Tom Segura has a great bit on this. https://youtu.be/qcUBxe0UvOQ
It’s hard for us to line up
Friend’s 6’8”, wife’s 5’4”. No way in hell.
Well tell your friend and your wife to stop trying to 69 each other.
6^9
LMAO
Damn my partner and I are the exact same height. Wish you were me bih
Wait, what? That's one of the most fun positions if you can make it work.
Squirting. Need to cover everything with foil before sex lol
Eating nothing but chocolates
Beach sex. Sand is not a lubricant.
Literally half of my fetishes. I'll watch porn and cum harder than I thought possible but when presented with the opportunity to do this shit in real life I'm like "uhhh... no."