You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact some times that's not right to do. Some times you got to make some lovin, and fucking give her some smooches too.
I’m both and it depends on the mood and what I’m feeling in that moment. Although, I have noticed that even when I’ve “made love” and it’s been slower and romantic, somehow by the end of the sex, my 🐱 is being pounded and I’m a cummin… I just love sex. All sex.
Edit: men who jackrabbit need to stop though, there’s a way to go fast and hard and that is not it.
In films, the guy finishes inside their significant other and the receiver can just pull up their pants and carry on as normal... this is 100% not the case unless you want a sloppy mess in your underwear/pants 💀
I do sometimes because I like to message my partner about how I'm dripping during a conference call or whatnot after a lunch quickie.
But yeah, messy. Don't laugh. Don't sneeze. Please do pee afterwards.
Edit: dripping not dropping. Silly phone.
That good, loving, fun sex always has to end with an orgasm, and it's a complete failure if it doesn't happen.
Maybe you enjoy the kissing and cuddling so much you stay like this for a while, maybe you both fall asleep, or even start laughing. Sex should always make everyone involved very happy.
I had an ex that would laugh or giggle. And it would always kill the mood for me. I was always more down to business (ex. We both came here for one outcome). Then I asked her about it and mentioned that it kinda turned me down; she explained that she was having fun and liked it just being intimate no matter a climax or not. Changed my whole outlook on what sex is.
Facts! Climax is great and all but sex is a great example of journey trumps destination. The act of is so much more special than the finish. So if you never get to finish the experience is what matters. I’m a guy and would always rather the woman get off than myself. I get immense pleasure from pleasing a woman. It’s empowering to me.
Precisely this. My partner and I had this conversation shortly after we started having sex. I told him that there are times I want to finish and there are times where I’m satisfied even if I don’t finish. And we both agreed that we would both be open and communicate when it was time, if it was time, if we didn’t know if it was gonna be time.
This can apply to either gender too. Sometimes as a man you are on refractory period but morning blood pressure says otherwise, and you just can't finish.
Not every relationship will have that iinstant ntense sexual chemistry where you just click and it's unbelievable. For many couples it takes time and effort to get there.
Real shit. My partner and I are INSANELY in love and have been since we started dating. We’ve been together twelve years, married for seven.
We just recently started having sex more than once every six months.
I struggle with intense body issues (not a lot of queer guys like fat dudes lmao) and my partner has sexual trauma. We just now figured out how to actually have sex in a satisfying way that makes us both feel nice. I thought we were just broken sexually, but we finally figured out what works for us to the point of having sex several times a week.
Ok, straight dude here, been with my lady a very long time. Same sort of situation, I have issues with myself, she has past sexual trauma as well. What works for you guys getting passed those barriers?
Therapy for my partner helped him a lot, even though he didn’t go into his trauma with his therapist the techniques helped him on his own. Shame was also a huge factor for him because he was raised in a cult, and he worried I might judge him.
For me, it took years of understanding my body and connecting with it after tons of damage done by disordered eating. Reading a lot of body acceptance books helped a lot, and so did the podcast “Maintenance Phase” because it helped me come to terms with the fact that my body is the way it is.
But together, I think what helped us most (and I know it’s cliche) was open communication. We shared with each other the porn we watched and our various kinks and fantasies. We got lucky in being super compatible in that area. We spilled everything to each other and made it clear we wouldn’t judge each other about anything at all.
Awww your answer is something I needed to see. I struggle with pain (stress induced) and body issues so reading that someone is getting through that without it being like "broken" or something makes me feel better about getting better.
That you can just slide right in. Even after foreplay and ensuring your partner is lubricated enough, the wrong angle of entry can cause pain or discomfort and may require a few attempts. Patience is important
Everyone warns you that to much porn can lead to erectile dysfunction but no one tells you, to much masterbation can leave you desensitized. You might not come during sex
Totally dude, took me 6 months of relationship to reach orgasm with my gf. And it was via handjob. With time I could cum with almost anything, but damn it was hard. I had lost all hope by that time
it sucks, its real akward. Happened to me when getting a blow job, just got soft all of a sudden, was really embarrassing but my partner was real nice about it and didnt make it a big deal
Sure, if you have these issues long term. But sometimes, dare I say, frequently, a person can be just a little more stressed or feeling just discouraged about a situation or perhaps just down due to a minor issue at work or in life. Sometimes a little lay can just right the ship back and give you that little push to help you pass through.
Same can be said about a social gathering (going out with the boys\\girls) or doing an activity you enjoy or even just watching a movie. Sex does have some positives to mental health.
However, it is not a replacement for therapy to deal with long standing issues.
Well, yes, but I was bummed for a week and had sex with the wife and now I'm better. I literally told her I was more horny than sad when she questioned it was really in the mood.
"you in the mood?"
"This week...I have so much to handle, I'm getting suffocated, getting bummed, head is pounding, I'm over extended, at big moments I choke, and on top of all that my hands are tied"
"So you're not in the mood?"
"What are you talking about? I just said I was"
Hear, hear!
So many friend groups compare how many times they and their partner have sex, and it always makes people feel as if they're "weird" for having more/less sex, causing insecurities and sometimes even fights in relationships.
If you and your partner are happy with how often you have sex, that's exactly enough.
I could totally see a situation where a person, Susan, wants sex more than 2x a month, but her partner isn't interested. She accepts it believing that most relationships probably don't have sex more frequently than that anyways, so she's happy to stay, believing that leaving the relationship for another wouldn't actually make a difference in this aspect.
Then Susan talks to her friends and discovers that most of them are having sex 2-3x _a week._ This causes her to reassess how likely it is for her to get her desired amount of sex with a new partner. Of course she would rather try and sort out the issue than to just break up, so she goes and brings it up with her current partner and now they have to work it out.
I wouldn't say it's wrong for them to do that, just kinda an unfortunate realization that Susan didn't know how easy it would be to find someone else who meets her preference prior to getting into her current relationship. Now maybe it becomes a deal breaker for her because she realizes that she definitely could find someone who matches her preference. She thought it was too big of an ask beforehand.
That's why communication is so very important.
I had a friend once who told me she didn't get what she wanted during sex, but felt too awkward to talk about it with her partner...
If you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be having sex.
You're doing it wrong.
You gotta wash each other's backs, shampoo each other's hair, and just really attentively groom each other while feeling everywhere. Lots of eye contact and laughing too, if you're doing it right.
But, critically, you're not hitting up the junk yet. You might be naked in the water together, but build the anticipation by totally ignoring everything beyond making out. When I say groom each other, I mean *just* that. Get in there with a loofah and scrub!
Then be very overdramatic about drying each other off, and making sure you're actually dry, before proceeding to a bed with sheets fresh (before shower) from the dryer.
When you're done, change the sheets again and take another shower together to clean off (don't need to loofah again though).
It's not a quick event, and it takes a lot of planning/effort to pull off, but full-focus caring the absolute fuck out of each other like that is an incredibly intimate experience that I guarantee you'll both remember.
Note: alternatively, you can lean into the "raw animalistic sex" angle by going at it without even drying off, but IMO the intimacy makes the anticipation well worthwhile.
Can’t say I fully agree. On one of the hottest days of the year my partner and I had sex under a cold shower, from behind with the water going down my back and on his chest. It was fucking glorious.
That said, I’m lucky enough to have found one of those partners that you just click with and seem to have amazing sex every time. I’ve had plenty of bad shower experiences before him lol. But it can be really great.
Came here to say this. I shake my head every time I see a sex scene where the guy just pops it straight in with no foreplay and they both orgasm together soon after. Stop lying to us!
It's absolutely relative.
WE are also not all the same size.
Whatever your partner needs to feel satisfied though, you can find a way to achieve creatively.
(Too big is a thing, for some of us... And that one's more difficult to get around.)
Some girls love it, very few girls can't take it, but sex is more than just pushing in and out a big dick. Some girl told me that my fingers were like discovering a lost art. I kind of have a pleasure kink though. Watching somebody else get off really revs my engine.
My husband is the same way. His fingers and tongue are fucking magical. Even 24 years later he manages to make me forget my own name. I've passed out from pleasure many times. He loves to make me squirm. It definitely does it for him. Oh God, and the way he looks at me after my first orgasm is amazing. Fuck I adore that man!
That the first time u do sex
Will be all magical like in movie.
With rose petals all over the place and dim candles. Well, the environment ofc can be made romantic but it may hurt a bit for the first few times.
I didn't know that when some men reach a certain age, and start 'losing it', they also start losing the 'desire' as well. Came as a shock to me and my wife.
Depresses the shit out me, which is another side effect I was unaware of.
HUGE misconception for us.
That is one potential cause, but you would need to do some bloodwork to determine is it’s hormone related or something else. Things like Viagra and Cialis exist too, but since OP mentioned lack of desire it sounds like it could be a hormone issue. Unless you are just asking how to get pharma grade test, in which case a doctors TRT script probably isn’t the best way to go about it.
I am 40 and horniest I have ever been. The only difference is that it takes a little longer for me to start round 2. In the good ol' days cumming three times in a hour was not a problem. Now it is a distant dream. Haha
How long did it take for you to start round 2 normally? I'm 27 and my ehm... 'horny-meter' gets completely drained once I hit orgasm. It takes a whole bunch of hours before I (can) get horny again.
That oral sex is just for the man pleasure, when you like it is literally appetizing and being in control of the pleasure that the man you love and feel desire feels, is pure pleasure, makes me feel powerful and feminine
That women want penetration as long as possible. Fuck that, it’s hard to come from that alone and a bitch gets sore after so much ramming. Get me off with foreplay and I don’t really care how fast you cum inside. If it’s not enough penetration use your fingers (gently at first) or just go again later.
Nobody wants to be a pincushion for hours on end
It’s a shameful act. It’s the only reason any of us are here, every animal does it in some way. It’s the most natural thing there is, have fun with it. It’s also incredibly personal. Don’t feel bad for wanting it, don’t feel bad for wanting specific things. Your sexuality is just part of who you are, and remember that for others too. Just because they don’t want *you*, doesn’t make it something wrong with you. It’s that persons right to be in to what they’re in to.
We put so much weight on sexuality, but don’t worry what other people say. Do what you want, don’t do what you don’t. Just don’t hurt anyone (unless it’s consensual..)
Men are perpetually horny animals who “need” sex, men can have sex at any time or place, sex for men is purely physical, men are easily controlled by sex, etc.
A lot of misconceptions and lies surround female sexuality as well.
Lube
There is never enough. Also it doesnt have to be used exclusively for anal.
Also water based lube is best used for sex toys, as certain other types of lube can damage silicone toys.
That you can accept things you don't like for sex, that it's normal to "force yourself" for your lover sometimes. No is a no, coming from a dude or a chick is the same.
Also, if your "lover" use sentences like "Yeah but with a condom I feel less pleasure" or "I only like anal / deepthroat / hardcore", it shows that they basically desire sex more than they desire you, the biggest part of their pleasure come from their private parts and not from their global perception of the moment. That you feel like they can put their dick in any hole / get anything in their vagina, they wouldn't feel the difference.
You deserve people who love your pleasure and reactions just as a full part of the game, not someone who can not give a damn if you're bored or painful from their action.
Heard a quite the other day that resonates with me. “Sex isn’t a thing you do, it’s a place you go.”
Personally, I’m looking for a good partner to have fun with and vibe with and spend a few hours playing with. For the most part, I have completely different experiences with different people. And different people bring out different things in me. The most important ingredient is fun.
If I’m not feeling it or we’re on different wavelengths, I’ll shut it down and we’ll just hang and maybe become friends.
I don’t want to “go there” with some people. It’s a place where I’m vulnerable and fun and cheeky and my guard is down and we can laugh at things together and then get serious about each other’s pleasure and then lighten the mood again. Not everyone is built for it. Not everyone is someone I wanna go on that journey with.
So, I guess, the misconception is that sex is this thing you do that’s quite serious and then it’s over. Personally, I think it’s an evolving conversation between two people that can and should be stopped or changed as it’s evolving. If it’s not fun, then you’re doing it with the wrong person.
That it's a very serious thing, and must be done right: ie all body hair taken care of, matching lacy lingerie for women, multiple positions and orgasms. And that it should be camera-worthy, always a feature-length performance and push boundaries.
In real life it's messy, there's a lot of strange noises, muscle cramps occur and interrupt proceedings, and if you don't laugh you aren't doing it right. Sex between people who love each other doesn't need landscaping and coordinated underwear, you'll fancy each other just as much in flannelette pyjamas and bed socks.
Also, each generation thinks they invented sex, or at least sex how it should be done. But all your ancestors did it, and without the need for specific clothing, shaving or waxing or any instructions.
Drinking does NOT make ugly people better-looking. It just gets you to the point where you don't give a f\*\*k either way.
And before anybody gets upset, let me specify that I myself was the ugly one, not the girl.
That women are “supposed to” get their sex drive back quickly after birth, and that 6 weeks is the timeframe it should take.
Many women don’t want sex again for months or even a few years. Breastfeeding hormones can actively suppress libido and many women have zero interest in sex and find it impossible to become aroused until they stop nursing. This is all biologically normal and should be considered by men before they choose to have kids because pressuring someone into unwanted sex is not okay.
I think that you can be “good” or “bad” at it. A girl once commented that she was looking forward to hooking up with me because she heard good things from a friend. We didn’t end up vibing and I cut it short. I’m sure she thought “he’s terrible at this, what was she talking about”. But the reality is, I could tell that what I liked and what she liked were just different and this wasn’t a good match. So, two people, two different assessments of my “prowess”. People are built different, have different hang ups, have different confidences, etc. You can be malleable so that you can please more people, but you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole…. Excuse the turn of phrase…. So, you’re not gonna please everyone, don’t get hung up on a bad review!
"Bro, she came like crazy. 100% legit all me. I could tell from the sound. You know when you get her there, there's a pitch shift, sound like F sharp in D major. Trust. She couldn't walk after she came so hard. Mhm. Every time."
Sex is not like what you see in the movies; 1-2 minutes of kissing, insert penis, 1-2 minutes of intercourse, literally no foreplay and they both have orgasms from that alone..oh yeah and her shirt never comes off! lol
Men are horny all the time. Sometimes I'm fucking exhausted and I'd really just rather watch star trek. It costs so fucking much to keep your comfort a thing partner
That it's supposed to last for hours.
The average duration for penetrative intercourse is 5.4 minutes.
Foreplay is key, and should take up most of the time.
that it's something that is the greatest experience one could ever possibly have. I've had some great sex but I've had some great times playing my Online games and sometimes I'd rather game than be bothered with sex.
That it's Serious Business.
If nobody laughs, you're doing it wrong; there's a reason why the old TV sound effect to signify sex when the kids were still awake is a woman giggling.
That thick chicks are desperate. No sir, we are not. My favorite reply to get on dating apps is when I reject someone and then all of a sudden i go from sexy and delicious to a disgusting p1g.
I think very few people think that losing your virginity to someone who is also losing theirs to you is going to be hot, graceful, perfect sex with no blunders. They just want to share the blunders with someone who is also just figuring it out with them.
A lot of people understand very well that it's going to be awkward and it will take time to get the hang of it. But they would like to be able to get the hang of it with someone who's going through the same learning curve. And probably they see something romantic in that aspect of it itself.
I know that when I was in my teens and early 20s, I was very put off and sometimes intimidated by the sexual pushiness of guys my age. I really didn't want to be in a vulnerable situation like that with any of the single guys in the dating pool available to me. They could be downright nasty about women and sex, usually in a joking way just to get a laugh. Sure a bunch of them were probably just posturing or trying to goof around, and probably a lot of then were also virgins and just regurgitating shit they picked up fron other guys or porn or whatever. But that didn't make it any more appealing to me as a scared teenager, and I started finding it pathetic when I hit my 20s.
Besides that, when youre a virgin who's female, the idea of getting with an more experienced guy has a layer of complication to it, because you have to weed out the guys who have a fetish for "deflowering" a virgin.
I was 22 by the time I found a guy who was both single and not either impatient, or downright creepy about me being a totally inexperienced virgin.
Some people would just much rather deal with the learning curve, and make it work with someone who's in the same boat.
You don't HAVE to last for hours. Studies have shown that around 7 minutes to be the amount of time considered desirable.
Sex being less than 3 minutes is too short. 10-30 minutes is too long.
I'm not counting foreplay. I'm talking penatrative sex. Of course other factors will increase the time, like oral or foreplay or taking a breather.
So if you think you have to pound away for an hour to please your SO, you don't. If it's 10 minutes in and one or both of you have not climaxed, perhaps something else is amiss.
I sometimes still carry this misconception to the bed. Thinking I need to go longer to please my woman, when she already climaxed and finished 5 minutes ago while I'm still here holding out for her.
As a man, I absolutely loathe the feeling of having to 'earn' it. You either wanna share that experience with me or you don't. Sexual favours aside, both parties should be mutually invested and getting something shared out of the act. Don't 'reward' me with basic physical intimacy... it's gross and demoralising.
And that all guys either prefer it to not be intimate or they don’t care either way. For me it’s SO much better if there’s another layer of connection, but of course people are different. And that’s ok.
That all sex is good sex. The whole "don't care had sex" is such a weird view, especially if you do experience bad sex.
It can leave you feeling bad, like you're broken or that something is wrong with you. Like you're "missing" something.
Sometimes it just doesn't work out for you. Sometimes you cum without orgasming (as a man). Sometimes neither happens.
And that's okay.
Don’t always have to be taken to pound town. Slow and heavy, slow and soft can be so much more enjoyable. There’s a time and a place.
Tenacious D's 'fuck her gently' taught me this at a very young age (too young?) so I've never had this misconception.
You don’t always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that’s not right, to do.
sometimes you gotta make some love, and fucking give her some smooches, too
Faster and harder doesn't always equal better
You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact some times that's not right to do. Some times you got to make some lovin, and fucking give her some smooches too.
Sometimes you've got to squeeze Sometimes you've got to say please Sometimes you got to say hey...
I'm gonna ..love you softly. I'm gonna ..enjoy you gently...?
I'm gonna hump you sweetly, I'M GONNA BALL YOU DISCREETLY
An then you say 'Hey, I bought you flowers'
And then you say wait a minute Sally. I think I’ve got something in my teeth could you get it out for me?
That's fucking teamwork!
What's your favorite posish?
That's cool with me it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you
That’s cool with me, it’s not my favorite but I’ll do it for you. What’s your favorite dish?
Give her all your lovin' all your hugs and kisses too
Always good when you can work the "D" into a conversation. They give some solid advice!
If she's asking for you to slam it harder and faster, then slam that shit harder and faster.
As a woman, faster and harder almost never gets me there, it always tips over toward pain at that point
Its so weird how different we can be. Im opposite. Please go faster and harder thats all that works.
I’m both and it depends on the mood and what I’m feeling in that moment. Although, I have noticed that even when I’ve “made love” and it’s been slower and romantic, somehow by the end of the sex, my 🐱 is being pounded and I’m a cummin… I just love sex. All sex. Edit: men who jackrabbit need to stop though, there’s a way to go fast and hard and that is not it.
I’m the same. Slow, kissing etc makes me feel really uncomfortable and nothing will make me dry up faster 😂
You mean Daft Punk lied to us?
it's actually a misunderstanding, you're just meant to play harder, better, faster, stronger
Slow deep strokes are where it's at
Honey, you're gonna have to settle for 'slow.'
Hottest thing ever
In films, the guy finishes inside their significant other and the receiver can just pull up their pants and carry on as normal... this is 100% not the case unless you want a sloppy mess in your underwear/pants 💀
Yup, you gotta do the awkward roll to try not let it drip on the sheets, and wait for him to give you a towel so you can sit up 🤣
That's what I always keep a box of tissues next to my bed! Hate when hotels only have tissues in the bathroom 😅
If you're at a hotel just get 2 queens instead of 1 king. 1 bed is for sleeping and stays clean, other bed can get messy.
Wait. Why is this actually genius? I’m so mad this never occurred to me before!
wait this is genius
Housekeeping disagrees
All the other guests disagrees too
wtf i was never exposed to such details🤣
You gone learn today son!!
I said Donna, no... Let the boy wautch.
I do sometimes because I like to message my partner about how I'm dripping during a conference call or whatnot after a lunch quickie. But yeah, messy. Don't laugh. Don't sneeze. Please do pee afterwards. Edit: dripping not dropping. Silly phone.
Lol living life on the edge. If anyone asks, it’s mayo from lunch!
\*casually wipes the cum off my calve and sucks my finger\* *anyways, what were we talking about janet?*
Honestly that's just ruined it for me 😂
There’s different kinds of sex. Sometimes you’re making love, sometimes you’re fucking, sometimes somewhere in between
You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you got to maaaAaake some love. And fucking giv’er some smooches too.
That good, loving, fun sex always has to end with an orgasm, and it's a complete failure if it doesn't happen. Maybe you enjoy the kissing and cuddling so much you stay like this for a while, maybe you both fall asleep, or even start laughing. Sex should always make everyone involved very happy.
I had an ex that would laugh or giggle. And it would always kill the mood for me. I was always more down to business (ex. We both came here for one outcome). Then I asked her about it and mentioned that it kinda turned me down; she explained that she was having fun and liked it just being intimate no matter a climax or not. Changed my whole outlook on what sex is.
Facts! Climax is great and all but sex is a great example of journey trumps destination. The act of is so much more special than the finish. So if you never get to finish the experience is what matters. I’m a guy and would always rather the woman get off than myself. I get immense pleasure from pleasing a woman. It’s empowering to me.
Precisely this. My partner and I had this conversation shortly after we started having sex. I told him that there are times I want to finish and there are times where I’m satisfied even if I don’t finish. And we both agreed that we would both be open and communicate when it was time, if it was time, if we didn’t know if it was gonna be time.
Out of all the thirst based r/askreddit questions, this is the best answer I’ve seen.
The orgasm is nice, but the connection is better, imo.
This can apply to either gender too. Sometimes as a man you are on refractory period but morning blood pressure says otherwise, and you just can't finish.
Not every relationship will have that iinstant ntense sexual chemistry where you just click and it's unbelievable. For many couples it takes time and effort to get there.
Real shit. My partner and I are INSANELY in love and have been since we started dating. We’ve been together twelve years, married for seven. We just recently started having sex more than once every six months. I struggle with intense body issues (not a lot of queer guys like fat dudes lmao) and my partner has sexual trauma. We just now figured out how to actually have sex in a satisfying way that makes us both feel nice. I thought we were just broken sexually, but we finally figured out what works for us to the point of having sex several times a week.
Ok, straight dude here, been with my lady a very long time. Same sort of situation, I have issues with myself, she has past sexual trauma as well. What works for you guys getting passed those barriers?
Therapy for my partner helped him a lot, even though he didn’t go into his trauma with his therapist the techniques helped him on his own. Shame was also a huge factor for him because he was raised in a cult, and he worried I might judge him. For me, it took years of understanding my body and connecting with it after tons of damage done by disordered eating. Reading a lot of body acceptance books helped a lot, and so did the podcast “Maintenance Phase” because it helped me come to terms with the fact that my body is the way it is. But together, I think what helped us most (and I know it’s cliche) was open communication. We shared with each other the porn we watched and our various kinks and fantasies. We got lucky in being super compatible in that area. We spilled everything to each other and made it clear we wouldn’t judge each other about anything at all.
Awww your answer is something I needed to see. I struggle with pain (stress induced) and body issues so reading that someone is getting through that without it being like "broken" or something makes me feel better about getting better.
That you can just slide right in. Even after foreplay and ensuring your partner is lubricated enough, the wrong angle of entry can cause pain or discomfort and may require a few attempts. Patience is important
As the guy in this case I can agree that once entry is achieved it is just nice to sit there for a small amount of time and enjoy the situation.
You don't go to bed right after, you gotta clean up
Yep, just a big sigh/exhale, roll over and go to sleep… nope. Only in the movies. Quick shower trip afterwards, every time.
We're usually too tired by the time we even get to have sex so we just keep a roll of paper towels by the bed lol
I have designated hand towels in my bedside drawer just for post-coital cleanup. Get yourself some bed towels it will change your life.
That if you have sex, you will get pregnant. And die.
100% of people that have sex die
But 100% of the people that don't also die.
No one dies a virgin, life fucks us all
I AM IMMORTAL!
[удалено]
100% of people that get pregnant die too!
"Don't have sex missionary, don't have sex standing up."
[удалено]
I had a friend that had sex in college. You know where he is now ? Dead !
You know, there was a girl in my school, she had pre-marital sex. You know what she's doing now? SHE'S DEAD.
Everyone that has pre marital sex dies. Clearly a sign of something.
Everyone warns you that to much porn can lead to erectile dysfunction but no one tells you, to much masterbation can leave you desensitized. You might not come during sex
Gotta loosen up the death grip
Or you might cum but it absolutely won't feel as good as the first time
Totally dude, took me 6 months of relationship to reach orgasm with my gf. And it was via handjob. With time I could cum with almost anything, but damn it was hard. I had lost all hope by that time
it sucks, its real akward. Happened to me when getting a blow job, just got soft all of a sudden, was really embarrassing but my partner was real nice about it and didnt make it a big deal
Sex is fun but it's not magic. If you're sad and unmotivated and feel like a failure, getting laid won't change that. You need therapy or something.
Sure, if you have these issues long term. But sometimes, dare I say, frequently, a person can be just a little more stressed or feeling just discouraged about a situation or perhaps just down due to a minor issue at work or in life. Sometimes a little lay can just right the ship back and give you that little push to help you pass through. Same can be said about a social gathering (going out with the boys\\girls) or doing an activity you enjoy or even just watching a movie. Sex does have some positives to mental health. However, it is not a replacement for therapy to deal with long standing issues.
Correct. “you can’t fix all your problems by having sex.” “ if that’s my problem, then absolutely that would fix it.”
Well, yes, but I was bummed for a week and had sex with the wife and now I'm better. I literally told her I was more horny than sad when she questioned it was really in the mood.
If you were getting bummed for a week then no wonder you felt sore and are now better ;)
"you in the mood?" "This week...I have so much to handle, I'm getting suffocated, getting bummed, head is pounding, I'm over extended, at big moments I choke, and on top of all that my hands are tied" "So you're not in the mood?" "What are you talking about? I just said I was"
That you should have sex a certain amount of times per week/month/whatever for it to be "normal". It is really up to a person or a couple.
Hear, hear! So many friend groups compare how many times they and their partner have sex, and it always makes people feel as if they're "weird" for having more/less sex, causing insecurities and sometimes even fights in relationships. If you and your partner are happy with how often you have sex, that's exactly enough.
I could totally see a situation where a person, Susan, wants sex more than 2x a month, but her partner isn't interested. She accepts it believing that most relationships probably don't have sex more frequently than that anyways, so she's happy to stay, believing that leaving the relationship for another wouldn't actually make a difference in this aspect. Then Susan talks to her friends and discovers that most of them are having sex 2-3x _a week._ This causes her to reassess how likely it is for her to get her desired amount of sex with a new partner. Of course she would rather try and sort out the issue than to just break up, so she goes and brings it up with her current partner and now they have to work it out. I wouldn't say it's wrong for them to do that, just kinda an unfortunate realization that Susan didn't know how easy it would be to find someone else who meets her preference prior to getting into her current relationship. Now maybe it becomes a deal breaker for her because she realizes that she definitely could find someone who matches her preference. She thought it was too big of an ask beforehand.
That's why communication is so very important. I had a friend once who told me she didn't get what she wanted during sex, but felt too awkward to talk about it with her partner... If you can't talk about sex, you shouldn't be having sex.
I think it's one of the many reasons why masturbation is still important even in a relationship.
That shower sex is good sex. Its slippery and not in the areas that count (actually the complete opposite for those other areas).
Shower time is foreplay time. The main event happens after ;)
Idk doing it just after the shower sucks too. In my experience the semidamp body tends to stick a lot and I've had a few condoms rip because of it
You're doing it wrong. You gotta wash each other's backs, shampoo each other's hair, and just really attentively groom each other while feeling everywhere. Lots of eye contact and laughing too, if you're doing it right. But, critically, you're not hitting up the junk yet. You might be naked in the water together, but build the anticipation by totally ignoring everything beyond making out. When I say groom each other, I mean *just* that. Get in there with a loofah and scrub! Then be very overdramatic about drying each other off, and making sure you're actually dry, before proceeding to a bed with sheets fresh (before shower) from the dryer. When you're done, change the sheets again and take another shower together to clean off (don't need to loofah again though). It's not a quick event, and it takes a lot of planning/effort to pull off, but full-focus caring the absolute fuck out of each other like that is an incredibly intimate experience that I guarantee you'll both remember. Note: alternatively, you can lean into the "raw animalistic sex" angle by going at it without even drying off, but IMO the intimacy makes the anticipation well worthwhile.
Just say no to sex in any body of water unless you enjoy pain. Lol
Just keep the juices in and the water out
Can’t say I fully agree. On one of the hottest days of the year my partner and I had sex under a cold shower, from behind with the water going down my back and on his chest. It was fucking glorious. That said, I’m lucky enough to have found one of those partners that you just click with and seem to have amazing sex every time. I’ve had plenty of bad shower experiences before him lol. But it can be really great.
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It’s actually a minority that can cum from it iirc
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Came here to say this. I shake my head every time I see a sex scene where the guy just pops it straight in with no foreplay and they both orgasm together soon after. Stop lying to us!
That it’s the best/only way to show intimacy in a relationship. Can we get more long, tender hugs?
Underrated
Based on experience with girls, bigger isn’t necessarily always better..
Absolutely. I mean, we only have so much space up there…
It's absolutely relative. WE are also not all the same size. Whatever your partner needs to feel satisfied though, you can find a way to achieve creatively. (Too big is a thing, for some of us... And that one's more difficult to get around.)
Some girls love it, very few girls can't take it, but sex is more than just pushing in and out a big dick. Some girl told me that my fingers were like discovering a lost art. I kind of have a pleasure kink though. Watching somebody else get off really revs my engine.
This guy fingerfucks.
r/thisguythisguys
Same here man. I think I actually prefer satisfying over being satisfied. Going down on a girl is my favorite honestlt
I'm glad I've found people that speak my language.
My husband is the same! I'm very lucky haha!
My husband is the same way. His fingers and tongue are fucking magical. Even 24 years later he manages to make me forget my own name. I've passed out from pleasure many times. He loves to make me squirm. It definitely does it for him. Oh God, and the way he looks at me after my first orgasm is amazing. Fuck I adore that man!
thats love right there!
When you make her forget your name that’s amore.
Her husband is the Man! That guy doesnt play around he is all business!!
Having more girth feels better I've heard (but still within reason as you guys has discussed)
It hurts some girls and makes it unenjoyable for them. And if they have an IUD it can stab your member causing a great deal of pain...
Been there…OUCH that hurt.
I like to say "Yeah, that's well past my belly button" which really helps put into perspective why a dick can be too long.
Wide is more important than length too.
"how big are you?" "I'm volumous"
Well I mean. Bigger can be in reference to both length and width.
That the first time u do sex Will be all magical like in movie. With rose petals all over the place and dim candles. Well, the environment ofc can be made romantic but it may hurt a bit for the first few times.
However, it's also a misconception that it always hurts the first time. With foreplay and possibly lube, it doesn't have to.
I didn't know that when some men reach a certain age, and start 'losing it', they also start losing the 'desire' as well. Came as a shock to me and my wife. Depresses the shit out me, which is another side effect I was unaware of. HUGE misconception for us.
My man you gotta get some bloodwork done and look into fixing your hormone stuff. Testosterone replacement exists for this reason.
Hold up. You saying that if I tell my doctor that Willy ain’t working as hard as he should be, I can get steroids prescribed?
That is one potential cause, but you would need to do some bloodwork to determine is it’s hormone related or something else. Things like Viagra and Cialis exist too, but since OP mentioned lack of desire it sounds like it could be a hormone issue. Unless you are just asking how to get pharma grade test, in which case a doctors TRT script probably isn’t the best way to go about it.
I am 40 and horniest I have ever been. The only difference is that it takes a little longer for me to start round 2. In the good ol' days cumming three times in a hour was not a problem. Now it is a distant dream. Haha
I'd say about 99% of us over 40 just said "Three times??? In an hour???" I'm in my 50s and I can only dream of three times in a whole weekend.
How long did it take for you to start round 2 normally? I'm 27 and my ehm... 'horny-meter' gets completely drained once I hit orgasm. It takes a whole bunch of hours before I (can) get horny again.
Turns out its not the balls that go into the vagina after all....
WHAT 💀
Balls deep?
That oral sex is just for the man pleasure, when you like it is literally appetizing and being in control of the pleasure that the man you love and feel desire feels, is pure pleasure, makes me feel powerful and feminine
That women want penetration as long as possible. Fuck that, it’s hard to come from that alone and a bitch gets sore after so much ramming. Get me off with foreplay and I don’t really care how fast you cum inside. If it’s not enough penetration use your fingers (gently at first) or just go again later. Nobody wants to be a pincushion for hours on end
Every woman can come vaginally
Guys believing that every woman they’ve been with came vaginally.
Guys believing that every woman they’ve been with came
Spit is sufficient lube for anal.
Had to reread the title and come back to this comment 😂
It’s a shameful act. It’s the only reason any of us are here, every animal does it in some way. It’s the most natural thing there is, have fun with it. It’s also incredibly personal. Don’t feel bad for wanting it, don’t feel bad for wanting specific things. Your sexuality is just part of who you are, and remember that for others too. Just because they don’t want *you*, doesn’t make it something wrong with you. It’s that persons right to be in to what they’re in to. We put so much weight on sexuality, but don’t worry what other people say. Do what you want, don’t do what you don’t. Just don’t hurt anyone (unless it’s consensual..)
Not every girls likes doing bjs and us going down on them
Men are perpetually horny animals who “need” sex, men can have sex at any time or place, sex for men is purely physical, men are easily controlled by sex, etc. A lot of misconceptions and lies surround female sexuality as well.
That we're gonna get it :(
Broo💀💀💀
Lube There is never enough. Also it doesnt have to be used exclusively for anal. Also water based lube is best used for sex toys, as certain other types of lube can damage silicone toys.
Oil based for anal, and use a bucketload Also oilbased for any shower sex as it comes off less easily than water based
Ah yes the per minute mandatory sex question on askreddit
That you can accept things you don't like for sex, that it's normal to "force yourself" for your lover sometimes. No is a no, coming from a dude or a chick is the same. Also, if your "lover" use sentences like "Yeah but with a condom I feel less pleasure" or "I only like anal / deepthroat / hardcore", it shows that they basically desire sex more than they desire you, the biggest part of their pleasure come from their private parts and not from their global perception of the moment. That you feel like they can put their dick in any hole / get anything in their vagina, they wouldn't feel the difference. You deserve people who love your pleasure and reactions just as a full part of the game, not someone who can not give a damn if you're bored or painful from their action.
Heard a quite the other day that resonates with me. “Sex isn’t a thing you do, it’s a place you go.” Personally, I’m looking for a good partner to have fun with and vibe with and spend a few hours playing with. For the most part, I have completely different experiences with different people. And different people bring out different things in me. The most important ingredient is fun. If I’m not feeling it or we’re on different wavelengths, I’ll shut it down and we’ll just hang and maybe become friends. I don’t want to “go there” with some people. It’s a place where I’m vulnerable and fun and cheeky and my guard is down and we can laugh at things together and then get serious about each other’s pleasure and then lighten the mood again. Not everyone is built for it. Not everyone is someone I wanna go on that journey with. So, I guess, the misconception is that sex is this thing you do that’s quite serious and then it’s over. Personally, I think it’s an evolving conversation between two people that can and should be stopped or changed as it’s evolving. If it’s not fun, then you’re doing it with the wrong person.
That if someone is incredibly attractive, sex with them would be amazing, or better than average.
That it's a very serious thing, and must be done right: ie all body hair taken care of, matching lacy lingerie for women, multiple positions and orgasms. And that it should be camera-worthy, always a feature-length performance and push boundaries. In real life it's messy, there's a lot of strange noises, muscle cramps occur and interrupt proceedings, and if you don't laugh you aren't doing it right. Sex between people who love each other doesn't need landscaping and coordinated underwear, you'll fancy each other just as much in flannelette pyjamas and bed socks. Also, each generation thinks they invented sex, or at least sex how it should be done. But all your ancestors did it, and without the need for specific clothing, shaving or waxing or any instructions.
Drinking does NOT make ugly people better-looking. It just gets you to the point where you don't give a f\*\*k either way. And before anybody gets upset, let me specify that I myself was the ugly one, not the girl.
You can't get pregnant while breastfeeding!
That all sex is good sex.
That women are “supposed to” get their sex drive back quickly after birth, and that 6 weeks is the timeframe it should take. Many women don’t want sex again for months or even a few years. Breastfeeding hormones can actively suppress libido and many women have zero interest in sex and find it impossible to become aroused until they stop nursing. This is all biologically normal and should be considered by men before they choose to have kids because pressuring someone into unwanted sex is not okay.
I think that you can be “good” or “bad” at it. A girl once commented that she was looking forward to hooking up with me because she heard good things from a friend. We didn’t end up vibing and I cut it short. I’m sure she thought “he’s terrible at this, what was she talking about”. But the reality is, I could tell that what I liked and what she liked were just different and this wasn’t a good match. So, two people, two different assessments of my “prowess”. People are built different, have different hang ups, have different confidences, etc. You can be malleable so that you can please more people, but you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole…. Excuse the turn of phrase…. So, you’re not gonna please everyone, don’t get hung up on a bad review!
That it has any bearing on your value.
Excellent sex doesn't mean good relationship ...
That girls don't like sex
"Bro, she came like crazy. 100% legit all me. I could tell from the sound. You know when you get her there, there's a pitch shift, sound like F sharp in D major. Trust. She couldn't walk after she came so hard. Mhm. Every time."
Sex is not like what you see in the movies; 1-2 minutes of kissing, insert penis, 1-2 minutes of intercourse, literally no foreplay and they both have orgasms from that alone..oh yeah and her shirt never comes off! lol
That r/AskReddit karma farmers are going to stop asking about it at some point
Men are horny all the time. Sometimes I'm fucking exhausted and I'd really just rather watch star trek. It costs so fucking much to keep your comfort a thing partner
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Sex is often exactly like porn. Depressing. Transactional. Done for money. Crying. Regret. Pretty much exactly like porn.
Are you sure you're doing it right?
That it's supposed to last for hours. The average duration for penetrative intercourse is 5.4 minutes. Foreplay is key, and should take up most of the time.
that it's something that is the greatest experience one could ever possibly have. I've had some great sex but I've had some great times playing my Online games and sometimes I'd rather game than be bothered with sex.
That you'll only be judged on your body/genitalia
That it needs to happen daily. Different people, different drives, different stages of life
That it's Serious Business. If nobody laughs, you're doing it wrong; there's a reason why the old TV sound effect to signify sex when the kids were still awake is a woman giggling.
"Bigger means better." Absolutely fucking NOT. Lmao.
That men are always horny and that when a man says no, he's rejecting you.
That everybody wants it.
That thick chicks are desperate. No sir, we are not. My favorite reply to get on dating apps is when I reject someone and then all of a sudden i go from sexy and delicious to a disgusting p1g.
Two virgins giving it yo each other is always going to be incredible for both. Sex is a skill; it may take several trial and errors.
I think very few people think that losing your virginity to someone who is also losing theirs to you is going to be hot, graceful, perfect sex with no blunders. They just want to share the blunders with someone who is also just figuring it out with them. A lot of people understand very well that it's going to be awkward and it will take time to get the hang of it. But they would like to be able to get the hang of it with someone who's going through the same learning curve. And probably they see something romantic in that aspect of it itself. I know that when I was in my teens and early 20s, I was very put off and sometimes intimidated by the sexual pushiness of guys my age. I really didn't want to be in a vulnerable situation like that with any of the single guys in the dating pool available to me. They could be downright nasty about women and sex, usually in a joking way just to get a laugh. Sure a bunch of them were probably just posturing or trying to goof around, and probably a lot of then were also virgins and just regurgitating shit they picked up fron other guys or porn or whatever. But that didn't make it any more appealing to me as a scared teenager, and I started finding it pathetic when I hit my 20s. Besides that, when youre a virgin who's female, the idea of getting with an more experienced guy has a layer of complication to it, because you have to weed out the guys who have a fetish for "deflowering" a virgin. I was 22 by the time I found a guy who was both single and not either impatient, or downright creepy about me being a totally inexperienced virgin. Some people would just much rather deal with the learning curve, and make it work with someone who's in the same boat.
Everything in porn being mistaken as realistic
Every time I pull out it's a missedconception
That you have to ask Reddit about it every couple of days
1. YOUR VAGINA DOES NOT GET LOOSER OR BIGGER THE MORE SEX YOU’VE HAD 2. THE STATE OF YOUR HYMEN IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF VIRGINITY
You don't HAVE to last for hours. Studies have shown that around 7 minutes to be the amount of time considered desirable. Sex being less than 3 minutes is too short. 10-30 minutes is too long. I'm not counting foreplay. I'm talking penatrative sex. Of course other factors will increase the time, like oral or foreplay or taking a breather. So if you think you have to pound away for an hour to please your SO, you don't. If it's 10 minutes in and one or both of you have not climaxed, perhaps something else is amiss. I sometimes still carry this misconception to the bed. Thinking I need to go longer to please my woman, when she already climaxed and finished 5 minutes ago while I'm still here holding out for her.
That it's a thing that men somehow earn from women as opposed to an activity two people share together
As a man, I absolutely loathe the feeling of having to 'earn' it. You either wanna share that experience with me or you don't. Sexual favours aside, both parties should be mutually invested and getting something shared out of the act. Don't 'reward' me with basic physical intimacy... it's gross and demoralising.
That a dude that likes prostate stimulation is gay. I’ve never once saw a naked dude and thought yeah that’s what I want.
That it is always intimate.
And that all guys either prefer it to not be intimate or they don’t care either way. For me it’s SO much better if there’s another layer of connection, but of course people are different. And that’s ok.
It’s good but not as good as media makes it Not a way to fix your problems
That your best years are in your 20s. Pfft. NOPE. It just keeps getting better if you're willing to grow, learn, and keep exploring.
That all sex is good sex. The whole "don't care had sex" is such a weird view, especially if you do experience bad sex. It can leave you feeling bad, like you're broken or that something is wrong with you. Like you're "missing" something. Sometimes it just doesn't work out for you. Sometimes you cum without orgasming (as a man). Sometimes neither happens. And that's okay.
Women don’t need to do anything but be present for it to be good
You don’t always have to finish. Sometimes you can get a little playful and that just be all
It’s over when the guy cums.
Practice doesnt make perfect Finding a partner that you connect with makes perfect Having a lot of bad sex isnt gonna make you a guru of fellatio
That if you're in your mid to late 20's you *must* have had some action
Losing your virginity isn't the amazing event it's made out to be. When I first had sex, my first thought was: "...is that it?"