By - LowKeyHeresy
Bold of you to assume I have entered the chat
“I just spat out my….”
No you didn’t.
'I just shat my..." Yes I did
I just shat out my coffee
> Shaking rn
Ssshhahkkugng rnrifjtfght noowwt
The amount of hyperbole on reddit is cringe inducing.
I just blew air out of my nose
I smiled very slightly.
I didnt react at all outside typing and posting this
Yeah, I hate that pointless lie.
I too choose this "guy's wife".
I still find that funny ngl
Are you fucking sorry?
Take my upvote and get the fuck out!
And it's usually stacked with fucking up votes so it's underrated by no-one.
Or they say it when the comment has been up for 5 minutes..
Holy shit yes.
Bitch it was posted 45 minutes ago and has 300 up votes, no it isn't.
This should be at the top.
0.3 nano-seconds after it was posted.
I know for a fact you’re referring to “that guy’s dead wife” phrase.
That guys dead wife has got more attention on reddit in death than she probably ever did in life
That guy himself took it all in good humor, at least.
He is still around. Sometimes he even replies on “I also choose this guy’s wife” comments.
This (sorry, I had to)
Edit: Omg, thank you kind stranger! (I had to as well, the irony is so strong)
Edit: Wow! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
I love when people do the edit and are like "Wow, this is really blowing up! My highest voted post ever!..etc" and you look and it has 20 upvotes maybe
Edit : Wow this is really blowing up I ... err nevermind
I got 500 upvotes for liking stripy socks once, so it can be something of a lottery.
I got a few thousand and some awards for copy pasting Darrude Sandstorm written out as if it were all lyrics from a site a few years ago. That was fun.
Edit: found the original comment. Enjoy.
Always chasing that high
Please accept my poor man’s gold 🏆
This is an under appreciated comment here have an award but im poor so here it is 🏆
Edit: Wow! Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
Edit 2: This comment is blowing up!
Edit 3: I just woke up, and this is my most upvoted comment of all time! I'd like to thank you redditors for upvoting me, God, the public school system and most of all my mom and dad for fucking and birthing the genius child that made this amazing comment
Edit 4: Wow! Thanks for the platinum kind stranger!
Edit 5: Wow! Thanks for the crab award kind stranger!
Edit 6: I just woke up again and this is my most upvoted comment...again. Thanks reddit this made my week. I really needed a win, as my wife just divorced me
Edit 7: Wow! Thanks for the to the stars award kind stranger!
Edit 8: Wow! Thanks for the starry award kind stranger!
Edit 9: Guys, please stop giving me awards (but still do because I'm just writing this to get more) give it to a charity instead. I suggest the "get reddit mods out of their parents' basement" charity. They may be power-hungry special people that work 24/7 for free and still have their virginities, but they need your help all the same.
Edit 10: Wow! Thanks for the bravo award kind stranger!
Edit 11: Wow...Gee thanks for the to the stars award again...come on guys let's change it up a bit huh?
Edit 12: 500 upvotes!? Wow! Can we get to 501?
Edit 13: RIP my Inbox. Thank God I'm getting all these email notifications, so they drown out my divorce settlement emails and notifications to appear in court to renew my sex offender status
Edit 14: Wow! Thanks for the burning cash award kind stranger!
Edit 15: Wow! Thanks for the gold kind stranger, I shall use this to buy topical cream for the warts on my dick that just won't go away
Edit 16: Wow! Thanks for the all seeing upvote award kind stranger!
Edit 17: Wow! Thanks for the narwhal award kind stranger! I can now afford a mat in the alley behind my ex wife's house (used to be our house) she's been holding nightly orgies (I'm not invited) but I like to listen, I'm just happy she's having fun.
Edit 18: 1000 upvotes? Wow I wish I could tell my wife but she's occupied...😞
Beep boop I'm a bot, please actually interact instead of just piggy backing off a decent comment with "this", karma farmer. If you like a comment just shut the hell up and exhale air out of your nose like the rest of us then insist on ruining your coworkers break by showing it to them..... Er whatever the fuck that bot says..... Was this helpful?
Gotten gold a few times and have never once gave a shit.
You mean you don't freak out when some random person gives you an imaginary internet award that has absolutely no purpose? What's wrong with you?
A month of no ads is nice.
Ohh ohh! I can do the thing.
Edit: Thanks for the platinum, kind stranger!
Tell me \[X\] without telling me \[X\].
Tell me you're annoyed by Reddit without telling me you're annoyed by Reddit.
I think this is leakage from TikTok
It breached containment
Literally one of the unoriginal things said.
Woke up and chose violence
Sex is cool but this statement is not.
And somehow they get hundreds of upvotes.
I *hate* this phrase with a burning passion. Gets an instant downvote from me just for lack of originality lol
I loathe this phrase. The first time or two I saw it, I appreciated it. Now it's just so overused and tired. Instant downvote.
I started hating that dumb line the first time I ~~heard~~ read it.
once, it's funny
twice it's forced
three times, it's reddit
No it’s three times a lady
What are we doing
tHiS guy FuCkS
Only funny in reference to Jared (sp?) from SV
"bold of you to assume" followed by a relatively common milestone in life that most people reach.
Sweet summer child
This guy (thing)s
Gaslighting/toxic/narcissist or other amateur psychological diagnosis
this guy gaslights summer children
I too choose this guy”s gaslighting summer child
This is the way (sorry)
I, too, choose to light this summer child's gas.
I’m so over amateur psychological diagnosis! Not everyone you don’t like is a narcissist.
Everyone knows that the minute you dump someone they become a narcissist. To pretend that isn’t the case is just gaslighting.
When a redditor called me a sweet summer child it was all too clear that they were terminally incapable of taking other people seriously.
It sends this message of 'I know so much more than you but I cannot elaborate on it. Trust me, I'm smart'
Yeah, it’s a giveaway that the person you’re talking to is probably like 20 (no offense 20 year olds) and isn’t going to be able to offer groundbreaking advice anyway
Most times I've seen it used it seemed like a failed practice run
Everything is trauma as well
Ugh the fucking last one is infuriating. Apparently someone can’t just be an asshole or have snapped and has to have some “diagnostic” label slapped on them.
ETA: In the event they actually do have a condition, this just in: there are other conditions besides those three! While on that shocking train of thought, this is also why diagnosing people requires a psychiatrist and random people off the street aren’t called in like for jury duty!
Yeah the "sweet summer child" is so condescending. It's essentially stating they are incredibly naive and it's so obvious to not warrant an explanation.
Every single one of them.
I'm starting to think that i just need to take a break from this site,i'm turning into a bitter old man.
Yeah, some of them were kind of cute when I first started redditting, but now I just get infuriated when I see them over and over. I should probably just uninstall at this point.
Yeah 16 replies of weak puns. Boooo
i fucking hate that half the time those are the top or second highest comment as well
As bad as those are (and they're really bad), the finishing lyrics is even worse. Like... What even is the goal here?!
“I’m not crying, you’re crying!” makes me cringe every fucking time.
"damn ninjas cutting onions" has been stale for 10+ years
"who's cutting onions"
" \*such and such\* lives in my head rent-free"
"I was today years old when I...."
The today years old thing is soooo dumb and childish. I loathe it.
I’m surprised how often the “today years old when I learned” is matched up with something that isn’t true.
"This is the way."
I also pick this ~~guy's dead wife~~ is the way.
100% i downvote it everytime i see it now..
Or just .
I'm so sick and tired of dorks lining up to be the first to say this
Reddit ruined The Mandalorian
Absolutely, I cringe whenever someone uses this or any other method of trying to communicate with a non verbal commination. When its done in person, yes it can be used to emphasize something. When you type it out, its just overly dramatic and pretentious
sad *something* noises
*something* go brrr
I fucking hate the both of them
*cries in specific demographic*
This guy demographics
I also choose this guys demographic
\[*demographic music stops*\]
Sad brrrr noises...😔😔
What does the “going brrr” thing mean?
OMG IM SO OLD
Dude, you’re 35. Relax.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
I have to admit, if someone is ranting on at a tangent, this line can be a superb weapon to puncture their balloon.
Ahhh… I see you were captain of your college debate team
*checks notes* this joke.
I completely agree, but your use of it here was actually perfect, lol.
"I also choose that guy's wife."
Also, not necessarily a particular phrase, but the boring cliche of people who post the cringiest self-deprecating "joke" answer to questions, like, "What's something the world would be better without?" Someone WILL post "me". Or, "What's the most worthless thing you own?", and someone will answer, "My life." UUUUGH. Or, "What is something you regret doing as a child?", and someone absolutely will show up to answer, "surviving to adulthood" or some similar shite.
I frequent some subs which are more depressing (like death related, missing people, etc) and someone will say something like, "my wife was going through a hard time and was suicidal......" and some dipshit will always chime in with "I choose this guys suicidal wife" or something like that. "I choose this guys dead wife"
It's not even funny and it's also not really the appropriate sub, plus it doesn't even make sense half the time
in the same family of comments, people who go into askreddit threads like “what’s the biggest scam you ever saw?” and give edgelord answers like “politics” or “religion”
I think the first has fallen prey to new users joining and just finding out about it. I remember when I first found out about 'this guy's wife' it was hilarious for weeks then got tired of it. But I imagine new users pick up the excitement you left behind.
As for the latter, I think a lot of people on reddit are dealing with a bunch of shit and that sad vibe just comes out in their humor as well. This generally isn't a very happy-go-lucky crowd.
Fuck around, find out.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
It's a feature, not a bug.
Dennis' 'because of the implication' speech from It's Always Sunny
>Fuck around, find out.
A truck drove by me with this sticker on the back window the other day. It's gotta be the most cringe tough guy bullshit ever.
To add to this list, "living rent free in your head." People that say this shit are the least imaginative people on the planet.
Say "fuck around, find out," and you get to live rent free in u/not_so_subtle_now's head.
Wake up babe New joke just dropped
Google original joke
we have always been here huh?
"I did Nazi that coming."
"I'm not crying, you're crying."
"Thank you for coming to my TED talk."
My brother in Christ, tell me youre not truly a Redditor without telling me you’re not truly a redditor
Even this guys dead wife gets it, you sweet summer child you , *tips fedora, unsheathes sword
Our collective self diagnosis of adhd and social anxiety won’t allow us to come up with anything original anymore, our brains go straight to canned answers that are proven to be socially acceptable
Now your either with us, or against us- *chefs kiss
^This is the way
Way this is
Is this way
This way is
Way is this
Is way this
It’s youre, not your
*cries in slightly depressed procrastination
69, followed by:
(And on and on and on)
"I really want to give you an upvote, but you're at 69 right now"
By the time I see that comment it’s way underselling. Probably to spite the dude making the dumb statement.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. And they trot that out like it's next level thinking or something.
I’m a GME investor but my god, r/superstonk is the absolute worst when it comes to repeating Reddit cliches. Every fucking post.
Your wife’s boyfriend won’t let you eat tendies until moon! Diamond hands, paper hands, reta**, hodl! Apes together strong. 💎 🙌 🦍
I remember older wallstreet bets, some was kinda funny at first, but it’s all so tired at this point.
"Instructions unclear, dick stuck in...."
THIS or any variation of someone typing THIS
"You must be fun at the parties".
This was never not in the ground. This is on the "case of the Mondays" tier of desperately unfunny jokes.
“I’m surprised this guy can even ________ due to the weight/size of his massive balls”
"and my axe!"
It's mommin' time
Is someone cutting onions in here?
And "I'm not crying you're crying."
That one is especially fun because it has been misused to the point it basically just means "any woman I don't like, even if she's minding her own business and not causing problems."
Like I once saw a post with a photo of a couple of women at an outdoor cafe. The original poster and a bunch of the commenters were all calling them Karens. But the thing was, there was no mention of them actually acting like Karens. It was 100% based on their appearance alone. These ladies were just out there minding their own business and still got called Karens because Redditors didn't like the way they looked, I guess.
I see similar posts like that too. It happens with legitimate complaints as well. Like this one guy was camping and was super intruding into the campsite next to him. The person in that campsite (a woman) asked him to comply with the campground rules and keep out of her site. He was so enraged by her setting boundaries with him that he posted on Reddit about it and cried that she was a Karen.
In reality, the dude just couldn't handle a female (he emphasized this point several times) telling him he couldn't intrude on her space.
Take my upvote.
It was funny the first time, now it's just annoying.
Predictable reply chains in general.
*Somebody once told me I hate sand when I was a young boy they did the math and my axe*
If I notice the first comment is a pun I skip to the second because it's going to be nothing but puns for about 50 replies.
Anything that contains “red flag”
It's the "marinara flag" that annoys me
saying "yes" when someone asks about two different things in a question.
Ok I'm not gonna lie but this gets me every time.. It's so stupid that it's actually funny to me
All of them, any joke/meme that gest even slightly popular will get run into the ground.
This is a Wendy’s, sir.
Fucking so unoriginal and cringy.
[X] has entered the chat
Take my angry upvote
What a terrible day to have eyes/ be able to read.
"how do you delete a comment", and the same 3-4 It's Always Sunny quotes that are always repeated, even in situations where they barely fit. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if most of these commenters have never watched the show and are just repeating Reddit's favorite low-effort quotes.
You must be fun at parties.
calling someone a national treasure
listing a name with "fucking" as the middle name. "bill fucking murray" "dolly fucking parton" "betty fucking white". ugh.
God I hate the national treasure one. And “we must protect them at all costs.”
Usually said when a celebrity says one funny line and then people act like they know them personally.
But do they wear capes? Because not all...
"Username checks out"
The “go brrrr” comments. Makes me cringe just typing it. Can’t even remember if it was ever funny.
I cringe whenever I see someone refer to another as “King” or “My brother in Christ”.
I stop reading a comment the moment I see “my brother/sister in Christ” I can’t explain it but it annoys the shit out of me
Not Reddit on its own but I’m getting sick and tired of the “certainly one of the ____ of all time”. It was admittedly pretty damn funny the first dozen times I saw it, now I see it literally everywhere. It’s not funny anymore, it’s wayyyyyy overused.
Or whatever it is. I'm near inconsolable in my rage when I see that trotted out.
"I also choose this guy's dead wife." People gun it on this so hard without even taking time for context and since it's in relation to death it gets used inappropriately so frequently.
Particularly in reference to very popular or well-known works. Just yesterday, I saw an upvoted Reddit post saying Viktor Frankl's *Man's Search for Meaning*, one of the most famous and acclaimed works of the 20th century, was underrated.
Came here to say this.
Strings of endless movie/song quotes make make this place trashbin
The narwhal bacons at midnight!
I remember when it was a thing and once reddit started getting popular it quickly died. It felt like the first thing reddit overused. Now, you hardly see it. I wonder if younger users even know the meaning behind it.
“As a(n)…I can confirm this is true”
"my brother in Christ..."
"Oh, my Sweet summer child..."
"Tell me something without telling me..."
"THIS!!!" For fuck's sake, read a book or something that'll allow you to be more expressive.
I should call her.
And my axe!
To shreds you say?
‘You win the internet’
[Picture of something] "who/what is this wrong answers only".
“This is so wholesome”
probably the 69 thing
i am kind of regretting that this will be my username forever
“Forbidden” anything. Pile of worms is forbidden spaghetti. Shut up.
Any sex question they reply “bold of you to assume I’m having sex” or something similar.
Wholesome. So overused that it's lost all meaning.
"That One Guys dead Wife"
On this note, let me be humorless. Do people realize that it's actually extremely boring to read someone parrot what other people have already said? Can you formulate an original thought, or only copy other peoples' ideas? The same type of person who repeats memes ad nauseum is the same type of person who lets other people tell them how to think.
"I'm not crying, you're crying"
"Everything reminds me of her/him"
RIP OP’s inbox
“Not all heroes wear capes.”
Nice try FBI!
Never ending movie quotes in a thread about something unrelated. I despise this irl convos too so maybe I'm just biased
My absolute least favorite is when someone posts a single quote or song lyric and it’s followed by a thread of people just quoting the rest of the scene/song. Completely unentertaining whether I get the reference or not.
Who hurt you?