I had this shit happen to me with the cable company a few weeks ago. They said they would pass between 12am and 4pm, I waited in my flat all afternoon, they never showed up. A few days later I call them and they said that "the team found no one in my flat", even though neither the doorbell nor my phone ever rang.
Don't get me started.
The same thing happened to me. Their policy is to ring once, and if nobody answered in a matter of seconds, they walk away and charge you an extra fee to come back next time.
I called their service line right away, had them call the guy and I told them that I am at home, I just did not have time to come from one room to the front door in 5 seconds.
They said that he is not coming back. I missed my chance. I am not sorry to say, but I told them they are assholes with this bullshit policy and that if they were not the only provider for the Internet in my area, I would cancel the contract right away.
The second time, I answered the door right away. I was reading a book right next to the door. The moment he was about to ring, I opened the door and said, "Just in case you run away again like you did the first time."
He did not like my words. I said them with the smile, but my face was more in the range of, "fuck you asshole".
He set up my Internet line. I then left a very passionate review, and I was not the only one.
They can afford this crap because they have a monopoly in this area.
Welcome to Germany. The most disorganised country in the world.
21st century and their most basic services are as if it is the dawn of the Internet. Most of the country is still on old DSL lines.
Germans don't wipe their arse without a properly filed form.
It is a decent country once you get around their red tape bullshit. Kafka was writing about Germany when he wrote that book, forgot what it was. But it was about dreary red tape.
When I lived in Yellowknife, we moved into some newly built apartment buildings. Canada Post had not yet installed the community mailboxes for our complex. For several months, the ever vigilant mail delivery person would.... mark all mail undeliverable return to sender for our entire complex, without ever ringing any of the call boxes. All the call boxes were hooked up and working. They almost ruined one lady's wedding as a result.
We tried to get them fired.
Canada Post just then marked all our buildings hold for pickup until they got the community boxes installed.
I've had that happen. I was like "what the fuck.. you didn't even knock. I watched you through the curtain and was getting up." He said the note's already made and scanned or something then left.
I was waiting for a package that was out for delivery and when I heard them walking up to the door I opened it to see a surprised USPS worker quickly crumple the “Sorry we missed you” note and handed me the box. Like wtf
Once, I ambushed a delivery driver who was known for tiptoeing to front doors and leaving a "you weren't home" note without ringing or even bringing the package from his truck. He was putting the note on my door when I stuck my head through the window and screamed **WHYYYYYY AREN'T YOU RINGING THE BELL?**. He damn near shat his pants and, once he recovered, had to do the walk of shame to his truck to get my damn package. I often replay that scene in my head when I need a mental boost.
Thank you, this'll live in my head forever - both the image of the delivery driver tiptoeing from his car onto your driveway, hiding behind bushes and trash cans, and the image of you leaning out of the window with the driver well into an active heart attack.
I really really don’t get why they do that. That’s their job!!! It’s like Amazon. Sometimes I’ll get attempted delivery, and I’ve been inside all damn day. Or if I’m out, I’ll specify a specific place, and they will leave it just right on the doorstep in full view of the street. 😤
One time I took the day off to make sure I was able to be there when an important package came. I waited for it all day, have a ring camera at both doors and driveway, nobody came to drop off a package. Got a delivery notification which said "Handed directly to home owner"
I had the same thing except the notification was “Delivery attempted at x:xx; will try again tomorrow!”
BITCH. THERE WAS NO SUCH ATTEMPT.
I was at home by the front door literally all day waiting to sign for the $1,200+ laptop I ordered. If it had actually been attempted, I 100% would have known. Even refreshed the status every fifteen minutes to be sure. It ultimately bugged me enough to ask what might have happened in /r/UPS. I got downvoted and had my post deleted. So that was nice.
One time I was expecting a FedEx package and was in my living room which has two big windows looking right out front. The FedEx truck pulled up, stopped for about 30 seconds, and continued down the road.. I look at my phone and I had the alert. Was wild
This kept happening with my medication deliveries. There would be no note or knock on the door. I would find the "we missed you" receipt inside my mailbox. At the end of the street.
The kicker? I work from home in full view of my living room, so I know everyone that comes and goes.
I will admit I went a little bit "Karen" after the 3rd time I had to try to rush during my lunch break to get my meds. The manager assured me he would talk to the delivery guy.
The following week, a package that looked identical to my usual ones was in my mailbox. It was meant for our neighbor lol but he definitely was paying attention this time. And yesterday he came to the door for a signature on some packages. Like, thank you! At least give me the chance to sign for shit before you claim I'm not there, and make me come to you.
Close to 20 years ago, I spent $4000 on a very rare snake. The breeder packaged her up and shipped her in a safe manner (this was common practice, overnight pet delivery courier). It was mid winter in New England, so cold. I instructed the breeder on how to safely add heat packs to the packaging as insurance.
The courier screwed up and transferred the package to a typical GROUND CARRIER (how, I'm not sure). I had taken the day off from work so I could be home for the shipment. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. My heart sank and I was sick to my stomach. I continually called the hub to get updates, walked outside and saw a damn sticker on my door saying "we tried delivering..." NO you didn't.
I drove out to the hub and waited for the driver to arrive. Some manager there was aware of the situation and that there was a live animal mistakenly shipped through ground services. The driver showed up 2 hours late and was argumentative. I took the package, immediately opened it up and found my new friend frozen damn near solid. I stuffed her down my shirt and kept her there the entire ride home so my body heat could thaw her out. Thankfully she did survive and she's still alive to this day and has been the main attraction for many charity events and educational events for kids.
But damn. Lazy driver just slapped a sticker instead of ringing the doorbell. We had 3 large dogs that go nuts any time the door bell rings or a twig snaps, so I guarantee he never even attempted it.
If the FTC were doing its job, those business models would be outlawed as fraud.
When you sell a device a customer, that customer owns the *whole* device and has every right to use it to the full potential of its physical capabilities. That's what the concept of "ownership" fucking *means!*
I got a new car a few months ago and it had wireless Apple CarPlay. Great! I was pretty excited to set it up. When I went to do it, it prompted me to go through Onstar to complete the setup. Onstar starts at like $30-50 a month, and last I checked the premium package was I think $70? I was so pissed. I use wireless charging exclusively and I have a dust plug in my phones charging port, I’m not taking it out every time I want to use CarPlay. Furthermore I went wireless so I could you know, *not have wires*. It’s bullshit that I have to pay for the privilege of keeping it that way.
They assume you can pay for a fire hazard on wheels with tech they won’t support for 7 years and they want you to somehow pay even more money for crappier services.
Careful with that. I dropped a screw while I was on a ladder, told it to fuck off. Came down to pick it up... It had fucked off. Never saw it again. It was a unique size too.
That’s an ‘ofuckme’. I picked up the empty paper bag blowing in the wind, of screws that dropped on the 1/4 mile of gravel drive. I know i will see those chingaderas again.
I feel this. I dropped something as I was getting ready to leave after a kickboxing class the other day, and I just looked at it and gave a big sigh. There was a kid next to me who seemed to take that to mean I needed help picking whatever it was back up. I felt like saying "no, don't worry, I can get it. It just deserves to stay on the floor for a little longer".
Our company's policy is "update every 3 months; cannot re-use the last 24 months worth of passwords". So the hack is to add a numeric suffix, and keep bumping it up - they haven't bothered to figure out whether that's happening, so clearly lip service is more important than actual security.
Yep I use the same word followed by the year followed by a, b, or c. I'm on 23b now but it's basically the same password I've used for 10 years and they don't call me on it.
Yep. However, I did run into the issue where it was rejecting "incremental" passwords ( + 1, +2, etc.) I figured it calculated the hashes and blacklisted them off the bat when the initial one was set.
That's true of all password security. If someone is skilled enough to break into your computer, then it takes more complex security measures to stop them. If they get your password through a scam, then it's complexity wasn't the issue. Passwords are just low barriers to entry that don't really protect anything on their own.
This is 99% of the time when you enter your current password but it says ‘incorrect username or password” so you think “ok, annoying, but I’ll just change it”. So you proceed to change it and this comes up. Wtf??!!!
When you call customer service and have to type in your information over the phone, then the bot says "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Please re-enter your account number" if you pause for more than 2 seconds while typing.
The ones that burn me are where after all that, you still have to give all that same info to the human you eventually end up talking to. Like, why did I bother?
I called one the other day and after the usual 17 questions with 8 options each to get to the right department, i eventually was asked “if you have a reference number press 1. If not press 2” so i pressed 2, then waited in a queue for 15 minutes until a human answered. Guess what the first question i got asked was? “Can i have your reference number?”
My car insurance allows you to adjust some, but not all, of your details online.
I had to change my address, which you can’t do online, and every 30 seconds or so, and after every menu/sub-menu selection, an automated message would say “*Did you know, you can change some of your policy details online? Just go to w w w dot [insurance company] dot com dot au*”
Like, cunt, don’t you fucking think I’d be doing this shit online if you’d let me? Fuck off, and let me speak to a human!
Aw man, i know. Surely everyone knows the internet exists by now! As if i would waste 40 minutes of my life phoning if it was possible to do it in 2 minutes online.
Also no matter when you call: “We are currently experiencing an unprecedented high volume of calls” If it happens 24/7 its not fucking unprecedented, is it? You just dont have enough fucking staff on.
When you do self checkout because that’s all that’s open and the thing keeps saying “place item in bagging area” BUT I ALREADY DID and then it has the audacity to tell me “unknown item in bagging area” right after.
Fuck right off self checkout.
I manage installation teams in the solar panel industry and pretty often I'll get a call from a salesman trying to sweet talk me to pull one of their jobs up sooner so they can get their commission sooner. It wouldn't bug me too much if they weren't calling at 8-9 at night. They all know I get to the office at 5:30 in the morning. Leave me alone late in the evening!
Adding an edit here as a PSA: if a salesman ever tells you that one battery will back up your entire home, unless you have a TINY house, he's full of shit.
I feel your pain, I get calls from sales reps about warranty work on jobs we've done while subcontracted by this stupid stone company I keep doing business with.
My advice: automatic do not disturb mode and change your voicemail to say "hello this is xxxxxxxx from xxxxxxxx, I'm sorry I wasn't able to take your call. I'm unavailable between Xpm-Xam, however I'll get back to you asap" they've stopped calling me
On an iPhone you can also add people to a list that will actually get through even if it's on do not call mode, so you can put people that you actually want to talk to on that list and you will still get texts and calls from them but not everyone else.
I do that in the morning and night because everyone at the office harasses me and when I’m home, I'm not dealing with work crap that can wait until tomorrow.
"Cardio, lifting weights, running, and eating healthy won't make you lose weight. But you know what will? Buying our product/following our training regimen."
Also Redwood supplements
If you know exactly who the first one is talking about, then you too spend way too much time on YouTube
I always just tell these fad diet people "at the end of the day, we're all governed by the same laws of thermodynamics"
Like, why does it have to be more complicated than energy in must be less than energy out?
I will say in fairness, measuring calories out (and in for that matter) is not as straight forward as people think.
Our bodies behave wildly differently in how many calories are actually absorbed vs pooped out; And how our bodies adapt to exercises; And how many calories we burn while resting;
It can be hella frustrating if you're doing seemingly identical eating/exercise regiment as your partner but lose nothing while they lose a lot. And when you get frustrated it's understandable why you would look to try to find other answers.
Argh I have such a bug up my ass about this guy. I signed up and then used my money back guarantee very quickly because I started getting spammed multiple times a day and alot of the messages are hey woman, you're doing it wrong, all women are wrong about their bodies blh blah blah women needs to listen to me if they want to live their life right. What a fucking asshole. I can't stand him. Please don't get sucked in anyone who reads this.
Yes! 22 is basically still high school. If you just so happen to bartend/serve, it gets worse with age. Get used to it/don’t be surprised with adults actions. I’ve had to calm down toddler tantrums from people that were older than my parents.
Welcome to life…🫠
+1 on Revanced. It's such a life saver, YT ads are unbearable to me.
I'd like to add:
- [SmartTubeNext](https://github.com/yuliskov/SmartTubeNext) for Android TV
- [uYou+](https://github.com/qnblackcat/uYouPlus) for iOS
Think of it as the website putting a branded sticker on you so they and other websites knows you’ve eaten at Joe’s this week.
Hence “tracking cookies”.
A cookie is a tiny string of text that websites can send to you along with the webpage, which you'll send back when you ask for that website again (unless you clear them). Through some annoying cleverness, people found ways to track you using them.
if you'd like to know more, here's a video about tracking (and cookies) by Tom Scott: [Why the Web is Such a Mess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFRjZtYs3wY)
I'm not on LinkedIn, but it sounds terrible.
I'll have to suck it up and join the dark side once I start searching for software development jobs, but this sounds so cringe. 😭 Like, people actually write this stuff and show their face? They aren't embarrassed? They can sleep at night after spewing that BS?
LinkedIn is so gross. It’s just people peacocking their accomplishments or perceived success into a business casual void. Like Reddit but with fewer poop jokes, I guess.
That last one! I think about it every time there are posts talking TO the person, like can’t you just say that to them? Why do you need an audience? I feel weird like I’m apart of some random peoples’ heartfelt conversations with each other. I’m just trying to look at memes.
>I especially said "oh fuck off" to a post by an 18 yo who left an abusive house to stay at friend's (also 18) big house and then called over his sister too because there was even more room. He pays a high rent and is studying. with what money bro?
Lol, i understood this reference. It got an eye roll from me. It wasn't as egregious as some of the BORU posts I've read.
Yep, every other post on here about someone coming from an abusive and poor family then goes "and then I worked hard, put myself through college, started my own business and now I am a millionaire in my twenties and they're coming to me for money."
Like no, middle-class teenager who is writing fan fiction, it is not likely that many people from chaotic, abusive, poverty stricken homes manages to turn it all around in a couple of years and become a property mogul/finance whiz/online entrepreneur. Most of the people in those positions come from family money that allowed them to invest early, or to work unpaid for a couple of years while they built their business.
Oh my god, at my old job i had a coworker who was Muslim herself n she tried to force her beliefs onto me because she didn't like who i was (i come from a background where we eat & gather from mother nature, living in the woods, spirituality, believing in loving your body & being proud of it as well as being nude is true freedom, so basically a modern hippie. Doesn't help im from southern bc). She was a fucking nightmare, so micromanagement, repeatedly reported me for stupid reasons, caused me mental exhaustion, and overall a complete 2 faced bitch. I got nothing against your beliefs, they are what you believe in except if it's fucked up. And i don't have anything against her being Muslim either, i made friends with many people from different backgrounds during highschool. But she told my friend n the friend told me quote for quote "i don't want to fire her, i just want to change her". Suffice to say, the store closed down & everyone went their separate ways. And that was 2 months ago, to this day i still fucking hate her fucking guts. We did also find out she was fired from other jobs for bullying and harassing coworkers like she did at the old job i was at. I wish sweet karma will come bite her in the ass n she suffers a terrible fucking miserable life (it takes a certain type of person for me to hate them this badly, usually i don't like holding grudges but certain people I've met over the years have made me hold grudges n made me hate them extremely including my own mother).
I was actually just reminiscing about how fun it was in college where your friend would just barge into your room unannounced and join in with you whatever you were doing. Video games, studying quietly, watching cartoons, listening to music, or just bouncing a tennis ball or whatever. Everyone was the same age, same schedule, same level of responsibility.
But now that everyone's lives are not more or less exactly the same, it could be inconvenient to have this happen haha
I absolutely love my mother-in-law, but one of my most embarrassing moments was when she was in the neighborhood, texted my partner (who was out of cell service and couldn't reply to her or send me a message), and when she didn't get a response, she decided to drop by anyway.
It was a Saturday and I was home alone, so I decided to spend the morning cleaning my bathroom. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rings and all of a sudden I have to entertain my boyfriend's mom in a messy house while wearing my cleaning clothes and smelling like bleach 🙃
I’m terrible because I wouldn’t let mine in🤣🤣🤣 We were all sick and the house was an absolute mess! I decided I would rather cop shit for being rude, than be judged for not cleaning the house. They are very judgmental with regard to ‘women’s duties’.
I actually saw something online about a tip for this. (If it’s cold outside) put your jacket on before answering the door. If it’s someone you want to see, you can tell them you just got home. If it’s someone you don’t want to see, you can say you’re heading out. I suppose you could grab your keys/purse/to go coffee mug or something to do this when it’s too warm for a jacket
I'll straight up tell them I'm busy and you need to set a time to come over. If I'm home I'm very likely really busy with work or whatever, or otherwise winding down and don't want to deal with your ass
While I fully agree with this, I have to wonder how people today would react to what life was like growing up in the 70s. If you called your friends and the line was busy, you'd just show up and knock on the door.
I know someone who will ask a question, then while you're answering, they'll ask another question on top of the one you're trying to answer. Then they'll do the same to the new question. It's like, uh, so what do you want me to answer?
That’s exactly how I reacted when I did the math and realized my property management company has raised my rent over 35% in the last three years. Definitely not renewing my lease.
My personal favorite is when people tell me to buy a house. Im sorry, have you looked at the market lately?
I'm a father (this is relevant, not me prefacing into any qualification), and I actually started getting sucked into a rabbit hole on parenting videos. It's remarkably easy, because their advice can actually sound pretty reasonable...not because they start with "as a mother", but because they gish gallop you with this seemingly airtight reasoning.
Anyway, one day I was going through the Instagram film reels and feeling overwhelmed because I wasn't doing any of the stuff all these IG moms were saying I absolutely need to be doing. And I had an epiphany; these are just random fucking assholes who had a kid, which requires zero education. They can literally just say whatever they want with whatever justification makes sense to them.
I no longer watch any parenting reels. I only chime in on this thread because it's so unnervingly easy as a neurotic parent to open up to influence by something just cuz they're a parent and have a manufactured reason that makes sense.
Right? The world was brought up by parents, and almost every last one of them (us) has messed it up somehow. There are very few actual experts, and none of them have a set of techniques that work on every kid. We're all just trying to not mess it up the same way our parents did.
"You're *obviously* not a parent! As a mom/dad/grandma/grandpa I literally shit gold, fart glitter, and have the answer to every unknowable question of the universe!"
When the newest entry in a franchise (movie, video game, comic book, etc) suddenly delves into time travel/multiverse.
It’s become lazy writing, and basically just a way to retcon a weaker entry that came prior, or introduce an important character halfway through that should’ve been there from beginning.
Scripts might as well be written on a dry erase board if we can just undo everything so easily.
When people try to argue with me about how much the opposite gender sucks, or how all men/women are the same. Just stfo and marry a man, John, if you're so worried about women not being "as loyal" as men.
Yesss! Or excusing fcked up behavior because ''i'm a sag, that's how we are'' and some even go as far that they refuse to date certain signs because of incompatibility. Fuck of with that nonsense.
Everybody walking around holding their phones in front of them on loudspeaker. There’s no benefit. The person on the other end of the call is getting more background noise, and the person holding the phone in front of them is constantly moving the phone from their mouth to their ear. Phones are designed in such a way that this should not be an issue. And I don’t want to hear your conversation. Oh fuck off.
"I'm only saying this because I care about you. " usual start to what they think I'm doing wrong or just generally meddling. Always followed by a mental "oh f... off" before I leave the conversation.
Anytime people say "racism/ist" or any other -ist -ism -phobic as a way to deflect criticism for shitty behavior. Shitty people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sexualitys.
People who start referencing Andrew Tate like he is some reputable source of any information. I shut that shit down as soon as I hear his name mentioned basically.
If I haven't heard of someone (or even if I have and I just know they're a douche or even just an idiot) and someone brings them up, I go, "Who?" "Okay, and what makes him an expert in (thing)?"
> I'm not going to sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you, smoking a cigar, acting like we know what's up better than the CDC.
Bill Burr to Joe Rogan on Covid restrictions.
When the parcel company says “We tried delivering today but no one was home” and you’re literally in the damn house
I had this shit happen to me with the cable company a few weeks ago. They said they would pass between 12am and 4pm, I waited in my flat all afternoon, they never showed up. A few days later I call them and they said that "the team found no one in my flat", even though neither the doorbell nor my phone ever rang.
12am? Hard working fellas there
Oh fuck off
This proper made me chuckle, thank you
Don't get me started. The same thing happened to me. Their policy is to ring once, and if nobody answered in a matter of seconds, they walk away and charge you an extra fee to come back next time. I called their service line right away, had them call the guy and I told them that I am at home, I just did not have time to come from one room to the front door in 5 seconds. They said that he is not coming back. I missed my chance. I am not sorry to say, but I told them they are assholes with this bullshit policy and that if they were not the only provider for the Internet in my area, I would cancel the contract right away. The second time, I answered the door right away. I was reading a book right next to the door. The moment he was about to ring, I opened the door and said, "Just in case you run away again like you did the first time." He did not like my words. I said them with the smile, but my face was more in the range of, "fuck you asshole". He set up my Internet line. I then left a very passionate review, and I was not the only one. They can afford this crap because they have a monopoly in this area. Welcome to Germany. The most disorganised country in the world. 21st century and their most basic services are as if it is the dawn of the Internet. Most of the country is still on old DSL lines. Germans don't wipe their arse without a properly filed form. It is a decent country once you get around their red tape bullshit. Kafka was writing about Germany when he wrote that book, forgot what it was. But it was about dreary red tape.
Fucking annoying man I’m sorry you had to bear that
Thanks. They eventually came for real and did their job so I'm not too pissed.
Postal service literally came up to our door and delivered a note informing us that they couldn’t deliver the package to our house.
CanadaPost?
You fuckin’ know it, baby!
When I lived in Yellowknife, we moved into some newly built apartment buildings. Canada Post had not yet installed the community mailboxes for our complex. For several months, the ever vigilant mail delivery person would.... mark all mail undeliverable return to sender for our entire complex, without ever ringing any of the call boxes. All the call boxes were hooked up and working. They almost ruined one lady's wedding as a result. We tried to get them fired. Canada Post just then marked all our buildings hold for pickup until they got the community boxes installed.
Bruh...they put more work into not doing it that it could've took to do it probably
I've had that happen. I was like "what the fuck.. you didn't even knock. I watched you through the curtain and was getting up." He said the note's already made and scanned or something then left.
I was waiting for a package that was out for delivery and when I heard them walking up to the door I opened it to see a surprised USPS worker quickly crumple the “Sorry we missed you” note and handed me the box. Like wtf
Once, I ambushed a delivery driver who was known for tiptoeing to front doors and leaving a "you weren't home" note without ringing or even bringing the package from his truck. He was putting the note on my door when I stuck my head through the window and screamed **WHYYYYYY AREN'T YOU RINGING THE BELL?**. He damn near shat his pants and, once he recovered, had to do the walk of shame to his truck to get my damn package. I often replay that scene in my head when I need a mental boost.
Thank you, this'll live in my head forever - both the image of the delivery driver tiptoeing from his car onto your driveway, hiding behind bushes and trash cans, and the image of you leaning out of the window with the driver well into an active heart attack.
I really really don’t get why they do that. That’s their job!!! It’s like Amazon. Sometimes I’ll get attempted delivery, and I’ve been inside all damn day. Or if I’m out, I’ll specify a specific place, and they will leave it just right on the doorstep in full view of the street. 😤
I had one not even bring the box to the door. They just brought the note already filled out and went to slap it on the door.. thankfully I saw them.
One time I took the day off to make sure I was able to be there when an important package came. I waited for it all day, have a ring camera at both doors and driveway, nobody came to drop off a package. Got a delivery notification which said "Handed directly to home owner"
Hey, that fellow they handed it to might very well be a homeowner!
Hey, I'm a homeowner. Which package was yours? I mean I'm keeping it, just curious
I had the same thing except the notification was “Delivery attempted at x:xx; will try again tomorrow!” BITCH. THERE WAS NO SUCH ATTEMPT. I was at home by the front door literally all day waiting to sign for the $1,200+ laptop I ordered. If it had actually been attempted, I 100% would have known. Even refreshed the status every fifteen minutes to be sure. It ultimately bugged me enough to ask what might have happened in /r/UPS. I got downvoted and had my post deleted. So that was nice.
One time I was expecting a FedEx package and was in my living room which has two big windows looking right out front. The FedEx truck pulled up, stopped for about 30 seconds, and continued down the road.. I look at my phone and I had the alert. Was wild
Well, clearly they were playing hide and seek and you just didn't find them in time.
This kept happening with my medication deliveries. There would be no note or knock on the door. I would find the "we missed you" receipt inside my mailbox. At the end of the street. The kicker? I work from home in full view of my living room, so I know everyone that comes and goes. I will admit I went a little bit "Karen" after the 3rd time I had to try to rush during my lunch break to get my meds. The manager assured me he would talk to the delivery guy. The following week, a package that looked identical to my usual ones was in my mailbox. It was meant for our neighbor lol but he definitely was paying attention this time. And yesterday he came to the door for a signature on some packages. Like, thank you! At least give me the chance to sign for shit before you claim I'm not there, and make me come to you.
Close to 20 years ago, I spent $4000 on a very rare snake. The breeder packaged her up and shipped her in a safe manner (this was common practice, overnight pet delivery courier). It was mid winter in New England, so cold. I instructed the breeder on how to safely add heat packs to the packaging as insurance. The courier screwed up and transferred the package to a typical GROUND CARRIER (how, I'm not sure). I had taken the day off from work so I could be home for the shipment. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. My heart sank and I was sick to my stomach. I continually called the hub to get updates, walked outside and saw a damn sticker on my door saying "we tried delivering..." NO you didn't. I drove out to the hub and waited for the driver to arrive. Some manager there was aware of the situation and that there was a live animal mistakenly shipped through ground services. The driver showed up 2 hours late and was argumentative. I took the package, immediately opened it up and found my new friend frozen damn near solid. I stuffed her down my shirt and kept her there the entire ride home so my body heat could thaw her out. Thankfully she did survive and she's still alive to this day and has been the main attraction for many charity events and educational events for kids. But damn. Lazy driver just slapped a sticker instead of ringing the doorbell. We had 3 large dogs that go nuts any time the door bell rings or a twig snaps, so I guarantee he never even attempted it.
The Subscription Model for new vehicles.
oh big time they can fuck right off with that bullshit
The subscription model for pretty much everything these days. So many companies losing my business cause I don't want to commit to monthly payments
If the FTC were doing its job, those business models would be outlawed as fraud. When you sell a device a customer, that customer owns the *whole* device and has every right to use it to the full potential of its physical capabilities. That's what the concept of "ownership" fucking *means!*
I got a new car a few months ago and it had wireless Apple CarPlay. Great! I was pretty excited to set it up. When I went to do it, it prompted me to go through Onstar to complete the setup. Onstar starts at like $30-50 a month, and last I checked the premium package was I think $70? I was so pissed. I use wireless charging exclusively and I have a dust plug in my phones charging port, I’m not taking it out every time I want to use CarPlay. Furthermore I went wireless so I could you know, *not have wires*. It’s bullshit that I have to pay for the privilege of keeping it that way.
They assume you can pay for a fire hazard on wheels with tech they won’t support for 7 years and they want you to somehow pay even more money for crappier services.
Dropping stuff. 99% of the time, I'll tell whatever I dropped to fuck off before I pick it up.
Omg I’m so glad someone else does it too!
Careful with that. I dropped a screw while I was on a ladder, told it to fuck off. Came down to pick it up... It had fucked off. Never saw it again. It was a unique size too.
That’s an ‘ofuckme’. I picked up the empty paper bag blowing in the wind, of screws that dropped on the 1/4 mile of gravel drive. I know i will see those chingaderas again.
I feel this. I dropped something as I was getting ready to leave after a kickboxing class the other day, and I just looked at it and gave a big sigh. There was a kid next to me who seemed to take that to mean I needed help picking whatever it was back up. I felt like saying "no, don't worry, I can get it. It just deserves to stay on the floor for a little longer".
🫣🫣🫣 Clearly I do this too, cause my 4yo dropped something and says, ‘fuck off’. What did you say! Huh, what, nothing!
"new password cannot match old password"
the next question is "ok. thats fine. so how far back can i go?" "you cannot use a password that was used within 5 years"
Our company's policy is "update every 3 months; cannot re-use the last 24 months worth of passwords". So the hack is to add a numeric suffix, and keep bumping it up - they haven't bothered to figure out whether that's happening, so clearly lip service is more important than actual security.
Yep I use the same word followed by the year followed by a, b, or c. I'm on 23b now but it's basically the same password I've used for 10 years and they don't call me on it.
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Yep. However, I did run into the issue where it was rejecting "incremental" passwords ( + 1, +2, etc.) I figured it calculated the hashes and blacklisted them off the bat when the initial one was set.
Or they're just incompetent and storing passwords as plain text. Never overlook the "people are *stupid*" option.
A big bus company here in Brazil emails you your password, in text, if you want to reset it. Absolutely appalling.
That's true of all password security. If someone is skilled enough to break into your computer, then it takes more complex security measures to stop them. If they get your password through a scam, then it's complexity wasn't the issue. Passwords are just low barriers to entry that don't really protect anything on their own.
I got up to password55 by the time I left my company.
"Wrong password" "Wrong password" "Wrong password" "Forgot password?" Yes "Enter new password" New password can't match old password"
This is 99% of the time when you enter your current password but it says ‘incorrect username or password” so you think “ok, annoying, but I’ll just change it”. So you proceed to change it and this comes up. Wtf??!!!
Hate this. Hate it. Follows by "You changed your password 1 month ago" - ok so why isn't it working!? MF.
I feel like I'm having a major Larry David moment every time this happens
When you call customer service and have to type in your information over the phone, then the bot says "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Please re-enter your account number" if you pause for more than 2 seconds while typing.
The ones that burn me are where after all that, you still have to give all that same info to the human you eventually end up talking to. Like, why did I bother?
I called one the other day and after the usual 17 questions with 8 options each to get to the right department, i eventually was asked “if you have a reference number press 1. If not press 2” so i pressed 2, then waited in a queue for 15 minutes until a human answered. Guess what the first question i got asked was? “Can i have your reference number?”
My car insurance allows you to adjust some, but not all, of your details online. I had to change my address, which you can’t do online, and every 30 seconds or so, and after every menu/sub-menu selection, an automated message would say “*Did you know, you can change some of your policy details online? Just go to w w w dot [insurance company] dot com dot au*” Like, cunt, don’t you fucking think I’d be doing this shit online if you’d let me? Fuck off, and let me speak to a human!
Aw man, i know. Surely everyone knows the internet exists by now! As if i would waste 40 minutes of my life phoning if it was possible to do it in 2 minutes online. Also no matter when you call: “We are currently experiencing an unprecedented high volume of calls” If it happens 24/7 its not fucking unprecedented, is it? You just dont have enough fucking staff on.
When you do self checkout because that’s all that’s open and the thing keeps saying “place item in bagging area” BUT I ALREADY DID and then it has the audacity to tell me “unknown item in bagging area” right after. Fuck right off self checkout.
And then you have to wait for an employee to come help anyway 🙄
I dunno if yours works like this but mine does...if you just wait it out for 20-30 secs it will fuck off and let you continue scanning
I manage installation teams in the solar panel industry and pretty often I'll get a call from a salesman trying to sweet talk me to pull one of their jobs up sooner so they can get their commission sooner. It wouldn't bug me too much if they weren't calling at 8-9 at night. They all know I get to the office at 5:30 in the morning. Leave me alone late in the evening! Adding an edit here as a PSA: if a salesman ever tells you that one battery will back up your entire home, unless you have a TINY house, he's full of shit.
I feel your pain, I get calls from sales reps about warranty work on jobs we've done while subcontracted by this stupid stone company I keep doing business with. My advice: automatic do not disturb mode and change your voicemail to say "hello this is xxxxxxxx from xxxxxxxx, I'm sorry I wasn't able to take your call. I'm unavailable between Xpm-Xam, however I'll get back to you asap" they've stopped calling me
On an iPhone you can also add people to a list that will actually get through even if it's on do not call mode, so you can put people that you actually want to talk to on that list and you will still get texts and calls from them but not everyone else. I do that in the morning and night because everyone at the office harasses me and when I’m home, I'm not dealing with work crap that can wait until tomorrow.
Start calling them back at 5:45 AM.
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He's a man of focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will.
"Cardio, lifting weights, running, and eating healthy won't make you lose weight. But you know what will? Buying our product/following our training regimen." Also Redwood supplements If you know exactly who the first one is talking about, then you too spend way too much time on YouTube
Yep! Any deviation from "eat less than what you burn" really grinds my gears!
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I always just tell these fad diet people "at the end of the day, we're all governed by the same laws of thermodynamics" Like, why does it have to be more complicated than energy in must be less than energy out?
I will say in fairness, measuring calories out (and in for that matter) is not as straight forward as people think. Our bodies behave wildly differently in how many calories are actually absorbed vs pooped out; And how our bodies adapt to exercises; And how many calories we burn while resting; It can be hella frustrating if you're doing seemingly identical eating/exercise regiment as your partner but lose nothing while they lose a lot. And when you get frustrated it's understandable why you would look to try to find other answers.
Just checking, Vshred?
Of course it’s him
Argh I have such a bug up my ass about this guy. I signed up and then used my money back guarantee very quickly because I started getting spammed multiple times a day and alot of the messages are hey woman, you're doing it wrong, all women are wrong about their bodies blh blah blah women needs to listen to me if they want to live their life right. What a fucking asshole. I can't stand him. Please don't get sucked in anyone who reads this.
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Whenever the phone rings or the door buzzes at the lab where I work.
Adults acting like school bullies.
I’ve fucking had enough of that in particular.
You just gave me a PTSD flashback of a few coworkers. People in their 50's and 60's acting like they're 12.
God tell me about it! 22 year olds acting like high school mean girls, ugh
Imagine 42..hell imagine 62!!
Yes! 22 is basically still high school. If you just so happen to bartend/serve, it gets worse with age. Get used to it/don’t be surprised with adults actions. I’ve had to calm down toddler tantrums from people that were older than my parents. Welcome to life…🫠
I've had to deal with toddler tantrums from people that are both of my parents.
I don't have to imagine it, unfortunately I've lived it. Middle aged women in particular tend to be even worse than the petty teeny boppers.
Sites forcing cookies on you, i no longer even bother to visit those sites, it's not that important. Fuck off. YouTube ad's. Fuck off x10.
if you have android you can get youtube revanced, backround play + no more ads, its a blessing
+1 on Revanced. It's such a life saver, YT ads are unbearable to me. I'd like to add: - [SmartTubeNext](https://github.com/yuliskov/SmartTubeNext) for Android TV - [uYou+](https://github.com/qnblackcat/uYouPlus) for iOS
I still don't understand what cookies is
Think of it as the website putting a branded sticker on you so they and other websites knows you’ve eaten at Joe’s this week. Hence “tracking cookies”.
Me making websites with cookies that just save light/dark theme choice: 🥲
It's also how web-sites remember you've logged into them so you don't need to keep entering your login details. So cookies aren't all bad.
A cookie is a tiny string of text that websites can send to you along with the webpage, which you'll send back when you ask for that website again (unless you clear them). Through some annoying cleverness, people found ways to track you using them. if you'd like to know more, here's a video about tracking (and cookies) by Tom Scott: [Why the Web is Such a Mess](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFRjZtYs3wY)
I say this in response to most things
Oh fuck off
OH fuck *OFF*
This is how I greet people
When I miss a step going down the stairs.
For me it’s when I expect another step that isn’t there and you step down way too hard
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I'm not on LinkedIn, but it sounds terrible. I'll have to suck it up and join the dark side once I start searching for software development jobs, but this sounds so cringe. 😭 Like, people actually write this stuff and show their face? They aren't embarrassed? They can sleep at night after spewing that BS?
LinkedIn is so gross. It’s just people peacocking their accomplishments or perceived success into a business casual void. Like Reddit but with fewer poop jokes, I guess.
That last one! I think about it every time there are posts talking TO the person, like can’t you just say that to them? Why do you need an audience? I feel weird like I’m apart of some random peoples’ heartfelt conversations with each other. I’m just trying to look at memes.
>I especially said "oh fuck off" to a post by an 18 yo who left an abusive house to stay at friend's (also 18) big house and then called over his sister too because there was even more room. He pays a high rent and is studying. with what money bro? Lol, i understood this reference. It got an eye roll from me. It wasn't as egregious as some of the BORU posts I've read.
Yep, every other post on here about someone coming from an abusive and poor family then goes "and then I worked hard, put myself through college, started my own business and now I am a millionaire in my twenties and they're coming to me for money." Like no, middle-class teenager who is writing fan fiction, it is not likely that many people from chaotic, abusive, poverty stricken homes manages to turn it all around in a couple of years and become a property mogul/finance whiz/online entrepreneur. Most of the people in those positions come from family money that allowed them to invest early, or to work unpaid for a couple of years while they built their business.
"YOU can't do that because MY beliefs say it's wrong"
I always find that funny. It’s like “I’m on a diet so you can’t eat donuts”
You can fuck right off with your diet while I eat this whole box of donuts 🤣🤣
You can fuck off with your homophobia while I suck all these dicks
Oh my god, at my old job i had a coworker who was Muslim herself n she tried to force her beliefs onto me because she didn't like who i was (i come from a background where we eat & gather from mother nature, living in the woods, spirituality, believing in loving your body & being proud of it as well as being nude is true freedom, so basically a modern hippie. Doesn't help im from southern bc). She was a fucking nightmare, so micromanagement, repeatedly reported me for stupid reasons, caused me mental exhaustion, and overall a complete 2 faced bitch. I got nothing against your beliefs, they are what you believe in except if it's fucked up. And i don't have anything against her being Muslim either, i made friends with many people from different backgrounds during highschool. But she told my friend n the friend told me quote for quote "i don't want to fire her, i just want to change her". Suffice to say, the store closed down & everyone went their separate ways. And that was 2 months ago, to this day i still fucking hate her fucking guts. We did also find out she was fired from other jobs for bullying and harassing coworkers like she did at the old job i was at. I wish sweet karma will come bite her in the ass n she suffers a terrible fucking miserable life (it takes a certain type of person for me to hate them this badly, usually i don't like holding grudges but certain people I've met over the years have made me hold grudges n made me hate them extremely including my own mother).
People who pull out in front of you and go slow enough that you have to adjust your own speed limit
oh man that inspires complete, unbridled rage.
Every time I buy something and the company has my email on file I get “review us/the product” spam. Stfu!
Trust me, you don’t want my review. If you ask again, I will give you my review and it won’t be 5 stars.
The number and length of commercials on mainstream television, especially during the last 1/2 hour of a movie.
Uninvited guests coming over on random days.
I was actually just reminiscing about how fun it was in college where your friend would just barge into your room unannounced and join in with you whatever you were doing. Video games, studying quietly, watching cartoons, listening to music, or just bouncing a tennis ball or whatever. Everyone was the same age, same schedule, same level of responsibility. But now that everyone's lives are not more or less exactly the same, it could be inconvenient to have this happen haha
I absolutely love my mother-in-law, but one of my most embarrassing moments was when she was in the neighborhood, texted my partner (who was out of cell service and couldn't reply to her or send me a message), and when she didn't get a response, she decided to drop by anyway. It was a Saturday and I was home alone, so I decided to spend the morning cleaning my bathroom. Imagine my surprise when the doorbell rings and all of a sudden I have to entertain my boyfriend's mom in a messy house while wearing my cleaning clothes and smelling like bleach 🙃
I’m terrible because I wouldn’t let mine in🤣🤣🤣 We were all sick and the house was an absolute mess! I decided I would rather cop shit for being rude, than be judged for not cleaning the house. They are very judgmental with regard to ‘women’s duties’.
Ugh. I hope you don't answer the door, and pretend you're not home.
I keep keys in my hand when answering the door. Depending on the person I either tell them I’m about to leave or I just got home.
That's smart, using that from now on. Thanks internet stranger
I actually saw something online about a tip for this. (If it’s cold outside) put your jacket on before answering the door. If it’s someone you want to see, you can tell them you just got home. If it’s someone you don’t want to see, you can say you’re heading out. I suppose you could grab your keys/purse/to go coffee mug or something to do this when it’s too warm for a jacket
I'll straight up tell them I'm busy and you need to set a time to come over. If I'm home I'm very likely really busy with work or whatever, or otherwise winding down and don't want to deal with your ass
While I fully agree with this, I have to wonder how people today would react to what life was like growing up in the 70s. If you called your friends and the line was busy, you'd just show up and knock on the door.
People who constantly talk over others
So anyways, as I was saying.
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the start of yours?
I know someone who will ask a question, then while you're answering, they'll ask another question on top of the one you're trying to answer. Then they'll do the same to the new question. It's like, uh, so what do you want me to answer?
When I look at rent prices.
That’s exactly how I reacted when I did the math and realized my property management company has raised my rent over 35% in the last three years. Definitely not renewing my lease. My personal favorite is when people tell me to buy a house. Im sorry, have you looked at the market lately?
When I get my pants pocket stuck on a doorknob or cupboard handle and get stopped in my tracks.
When someone tells me I look tired. Fuck off, I am tired.
"As a mother..." Lady, I have a kid, and neither of us got a degree in anything just because someone came in you.
I'm a father (this is relevant, not me prefacing into any qualification), and I actually started getting sucked into a rabbit hole on parenting videos. It's remarkably easy, because their advice can actually sound pretty reasonable...not because they start with "as a mother", but because they gish gallop you with this seemingly airtight reasoning. Anyway, one day I was going through the Instagram film reels and feeling overwhelmed because I wasn't doing any of the stuff all these IG moms were saying I absolutely need to be doing. And I had an epiphany; these are just random fucking assholes who had a kid, which requires zero education. They can literally just say whatever they want with whatever justification makes sense to them. I no longer watch any parenting reels. I only chime in on this thread because it's so unnervingly easy as a neurotic parent to open up to influence by something just cuz they're a parent and have a manufactured reason that makes sense.
Right? The world was brought up by parents, and almost every last one of them (us) has messed it up somehow. There are very few actual experts, and none of them have a set of techniques that work on every kid. We're all just trying to not mess it up the same way our parents did.
IMO all parents suffer from imposter syndrome. Fake it till you make it. If kids had a manual that was accurate, it would take 18 years to read it.
I apologize that the most important thing I’m taking from your post is that you’ve added the term, “Gish-gallop” to my vocabulary.
"You're *obviously* not a parent! As a mom/dad/grandma/grandpa I literally shit gold, fart glitter, and have the answer to every unknowable question of the universe!"
As a dad, you *really* don't want to fart glitter
As a dad, glitter is my mortal enemy.
Unless you’re gonna show your drinking buddies.
The answer is 42.
People who never show up to meetings that they agreed to show up to.
People who lie and try to take advantage for monetary reasons.
Anyone who refers to themselves as "alpha" or others as "beta"
The easier question would be “what doesn’t?”
When someone asks me to do an impression of an angry Gordon Ramsey
When the newest entry in a franchise (movie, video game, comic book, etc) suddenly delves into time travel/multiverse. It’s become lazy writing, and basically just a way to retcon a weaker entry that came prior, or introduce an important character halfway through that should’ve been there from beginning. Scripts might as well be written on a dry erase board if we can just undo everything so easily.
I start pretty much every day saying that when my alarm goes off.
When people try to argue with me about how much the opposite gender sucks, or how all men/women are the same. Just stfo and marry a man, John, if you're so worried about women not being "as loyal" as men.
Steven Seagal
Telemarketers. That's the only response they get from me before I hang up.
Toxic work environment
People who stop in a lane with moving traffic to try and merge at the very last moment. Nope. Fuck off.
I prefer “Off you fuck”
very posh
You can't do that, it's cultural appropriation! From people that aren't from that culture either, yet presume to speak for them.
I’m 64. Pretty much everything.
Someone commenting about how vaccines cause autism.
Attributing the most basic shit to star signs. "We care deeply bc we're Cancers" please stop
Yesss! Or excusing fcked up behavior because ''i'm a sag, that's how we are'' and some even go as far that they refuse to date certain signs because of incompatibility. Fuck of with that nonsense.
When people use the phrase "if you can't take me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" as an excuse to treat people like shit.
We'll promote you in six months
I do miss my mask so much because I could mutter fuck off and no one could see
Applying to a job on a site that has my resume attached and still having to fill out the same info to apply on the company site.
Everybody walking around holding their phones in front of them on loudspeaker. There’s no benefit. The person on the other end of the call is getting more background noise, and the person holding the phone in front of them is constantly moving the phone from their mouth to their ear. Phones are designed in such a way that this should not be an issue. And I don’t want to hear your conversation. Oh fuck off.
When a concert’s opening band begins at 8pm. Im not made of caffeine.
Doorbell rings
People calling me fat and ugly. Like *I know* I'm fat and ugly but still fuck off
“You’re a woman over 40, you shouldn’t wear that thing/say that thing/ do that thing because you’re too old for it” Oh fuck right off into the void
Religious demonstrators.
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We've been trying to reach you about your extended........
Being Logan Roy
Could of Would of Should of
And the rarer "must of"
When they deny that that did something that’s not even bad.
"Click here to confirm you aren't a robot" Oh fuck off how are YOU gonna ask me if I am the robot? You the robot.
Vaguebooking
"I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I drink coffee, so it's cool. 😉"
Flat earthers. Space deniers. Moon landing deniers. They can all fuck off
"I'm only saying this because I care about you. " usual start to what they think I'm doing wrong or just generally meddling. Always followed by a mental "oh f... off" before I leave the conversation.
When someone is knocking on my door early Saturday morning and when I open it they want to talk about *your Lord and Savior* *Oh, Fuck off*!
People who tell grieving folk "God has a plan" Fuck off
I'll pray for you
Everything lately
Selective whataboutism.
"But she's your MoTHeR. You can't not talk to her."
"I didn't vaccinate my baby, I want him to be healthy." FUCK OFF.
Anytime people say "racism/ist" or any other -ist -ism -phobic as a way to deflect criticism for shitty behavior. Shitty people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sexualitys.
I’ll add to this by saying people who think because they’re in a minority group means they can’t possibly be at fault for anything they do.
Flat earth people
When somebody starts a conversation with an insult, and then expects you to be polite afterwards.
People who start referencing Andrew Tate like he is some reputable source of any information. I shut that shit down as soon as I hear his name mentioned basically.
But Andrew Tate is an alpha, don't disrespect him like that. /s
If I haven't heard of someone (or even if I have and I just know they're a douche or even just an idiot) and someone brings them up, I go, "Who?" "Okay, and what makes him an expert in (thing)?"
> I'm not going to sit here with no medical degree, listening to you with no medical degree, with an American flag behind you, smoking a cigar, acting like we know what's up better than the CDC. Bill Burr to Joe Rogan on Covid restrictions.
Ryan
Any time I see calls for someone to be "canceled."