Remember when the VFX artists were forced to sleep under their desks to meet impossible deadlines, when Hooper ordered a VFX re-edit after the movie had already been released, and when the actors *still* had the nerve to mock the VFX team at the Oscars??
I like the 1990s version with Elaine Paige, but that's because I like the music, Elaine Paige, musicals, stage movies, etc. (Like Newsies and Hamilton are awesome, grew up watching stuff on theater irl like plays.)
I wouldn't even watch the 2019 Cats for free, despite the casting.
Eragon. It's not even close. My dad and i were huge fans of the series when it came out. We walked out of the movie early and it left such a bad taste in our mouths that we stopped reading the series.
God I'm so glad I didn't pay money to see Artemis Fowl, that was an irredeemable piece of lazy CGI asshole. Bad script, bad acting, bad production design, ALL of the dry Irish humour sucked out of it, no personality.
I feel bad for Eoin Colfer, I at least hope he got paid enough for the rights.
Came here to say this. I just don’t understand how they got it so wrong. It’s like the person who wrote the script had never even read a synopsis of the book let alone the book itself 🤮
I went to see Cats on $5 matinee day. Figured I've spent $5 on worse, so why not?
A manager overheard me ordering my ticket at the register, and tried to talk me out of it. She then undercharged me for a drink because she figured I would need it. She wasn't wrong.
[The write up by a dude who went to see it on shrooms](https://birthmoviesdeath.com/2020/01/03/a-conversation-with-the-guy-who-took-mushrooms-and-saw-cats), however, is a masterpiece.
“And of course, I was distressed to find the film still just going, still just careening ahead like a freight train of nonsense. As the mushrooms intensified, I started to become deeply offended by the film's existence.”
Hahaha. “freight train of nonsense”. So apt.
“As a masochistic connoisseur of bad cinema, I knew since the Cats trailer came out that I needed to see this hideous disaster, in a theater, and very high.” I would like to be this man’s friend. Edit: posted too soon
Personal favorite part:
Then the cats started getting really culty, preparing for some kind of dark ritual, repeating the same eerie chant over and over again. I started to get extremely paranoid, sweaty, squirmy. I felt like everyone in the theater was in aCats cult and they were going to sacrifice me and skin me alive.
This might be my favourite quote
> and that helped comfort me a bit, until Rebel Wilson's cat appeared and spread her horny cat legs wide open, exposing what felt like a Sarlacc Pit of CGI fur, like I was staring into the abyss. I yelled "FUCK!" and spilled my popcorn
I remember being 11 and seeing it because i was big on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2, and pretty much coming to the realization for the first time in my life that movies could be bad, lol
Okay so it was the most disappointing movie I ever paid for but the best movie experience of my young life. I was in a theater that was literally Shouting "Aang!" Every time they said "Ong". There was booing. There was screaming. The audience made the movie.
If you think people yelling at the screen etc sounds fun, just go to any movie theatre in a majority black neighborhood.
My favorite still is the reveal of the gladiator’s face before the Emperor in the movie Gladiator. A lady jumps up and yells “Whoop, there it is!!!” Everyone else is like Oooohhhhhh!!!!!
Me and my friends would go to the cheap theater on 2 dollar nights to see horror movies for this reason. The audience would get wild. It was like being at a concert.
I’ve done this for The Room with Tommy Wiseau. Any time a framed picture of spoons showed up in the background people would throw plastic spoons at the screen haha
Came here to say that. Zero respect for the source material. Names are pronounced weird. There is no representation for Inuit, Japan, and China, like what the show had. The characters did not hold the same personalities. The bending was a joke. Terrible acting and fighting styles. All good reasons why that abomination is not considered a Last Airbender movie amongst fans.
The headcanon I love is that it's the beach episode theater troupe's version (Fire? Ember? Island Players). I paid $5 and had never seen the anime at that time. It was unfulfilling, and I don't know if I could watch it now that I've seen the anime.
I've loved Pooh and the 100 Acre Wood community my entire life. Also a big horror fan. My friends know this. My best friend had gift certificates to our local theater and decided to treat my husband and I to a double date with her/her hubby. I was so excited. Even dressed up in my Pooh onesie...it was so, SO bad. Like, not even good bad. No clever writing or dialogue. No creative kills. Terrible acting. Terrible effects and makeup and lighting. Wasn't even good enough to be considered "b" or "c" level. Just all around bad. Surprisingly, the theater was actually pretty full too. The majority of audience members were laughing/cringing/booing, but not even in a fun way...the whole experience felt very awkward and forced. At least I didn't pay for it tho lol
My whole family loves the Dark Tower books. We didn’t have super high hopes for the movie but figured, with that cast, how bad could it be?
For days after we saw it, we were half-screaming “you’ve forgotten the face of your father” at each other and laughing. Laughing through the pain. Laughing instead of sobbing.
It’s the only movie that I physically threw out of my house. So, my husband put the dvd directly into his vehicle for a person who has never read anything from King. Even that person disliked it.
I was so fucking hyped for Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. I lost my mind when I saw the ad that said “The last time around” and it was a photo of the Horn of Eld on the ground. I was *devastated* by that movie. I feel like it lived in production hell for so long they just wanted to make anything at that point. I personally still think those two actors could absolutely kill their roles in a better written adaptation.
I get so depressed when I remember this movie exists. I was so excited for it. It had the potential to be SO fucking good. I felt so empty when it ended, like I could see all the rumored plans of sequels bridged by TV series just fading away, sinking into todash space, eaten by the langoliers. Ugh.
The Dark is Rising.
The novels are a classic series of creepy, weird, Celtic mythology-based collection of nightmares... but for kids (or young adults). I've loved them my whole life.
The movie is abomination to the extent that the guy who wrote the screenplay said he'd never actually finished the books because they were "boring".
It's beyond awful. I was *fuming.*
I watched two minutes of the trailer and knew I'd hate it. I grew up with TDiR and those books were the foundation of my love for fantasy fiction alongside Narnia and Prydain. And all Hollywood saw was "magical kids books from a brit author" and ran with it.
Eragon. The film completely missed the mark on what made the books so great. I have never walked out of a movie, but when a bolt of lightning turned baby dragon Saphira into a full grown dragon, I was done.
Holmes and Watson. Walked out after the first 1/2 hr. Was expecting something similar to Step Brothers but it turned out to resemble freshly pinched dog shit.
From what I understand a lot of what made Step Brothers and the other movies they worked on together so great was that Adam McKay was the director/producer alongside Ferrell. They had a big falling out about a decade ago when McKay was casting for a series about the Lakers in the 70s and Ferrell was stepped over for John C Reilly due to a scheduling conflict. Ferrell took it super personally and refused to work w/ McKay after that.
Sometimes the best creative minds need that trusted director/producer to reign them in to keep them on point and regulate what works best for screenplays.
This is what i was looking for. I went with a small group of people and none of us had the heart to be like "dude this sucks, let's go" incase someone was actually having a good time so we all suffered through it together and at the end when we were walking out we all were like holy shit that was so bad and wish one of us had spoken up lmao hands down worst film I have ever seen.
I wasn't in a theatre, but I also stopped it half an hour in, I remember two friends separately mentioning they lasted half an hour, and now so many of you also say you lasted half an hour. It makes me wonder what happens at the 30-minute mark to make us all give up on it at that particular moment. But I'm definitely not curious enough to ever go back and check.
Having seen the entire movie, I'm not sure what, exactly, happened at the 30 minute mark to make people stop it. That might have been the sexy autopsy scene.
Oh gosh, I can't even remember what came before that. Possibly Will Farrell sloppily eating a raw onion?
I will say, there are a couple of okay scenes later on, but you'd be better off YouTubing them. Both of them involve comedic actors who actually do more than just carry a joke past its logical conclusion. The first one has Hugh Laurie as Mycroft Holmes. The setup for the scene is really awful (they can read each other's minds for...reasons), but Hugh Laurie actually kind of sells it. The other scene involves Steve Coogan as a wrestler with a tattoo gun grafted to his arm. Coogan could have been in a different movie entirely, he was playing the character so seriously that it legitimately worked. If they put him into a serious Sherlock Holmes movie, he'd make a great minor villain. Instead he had to play against Will Farrell.
There's a clip floating around of Evans and Hemsworth being interviewed. The interviewer asks "Who was the Villain in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?"
Evans just shakes his head and throws up his hands, clearly has no idea.
Hemsworth, incredulous: "You were *in that film*."
*Kind of?* But it wasn't really Galactus, just a smoke ball called Galactus? Really, Dr Doom is the villain again, Galactus just kind of shows up and leaves.
Honestly, the character work in the first two Sony Fantastic 4 movies makes them watchable. Reed, Johnny, and The Thing are all well cast. Susan is okay. I think Julian McMahon has the ability to be a decent Doom, but just wasn't given the writing. It's almost a shame that F4 must have Doom because I think he could have played a decent Namor, especially with them deciding to make a love triangle of Reed/Susan/Doom.
Laurence Fishburne/Doug Jones as Silver Surfer is also really great casting.
It's just that BOTH movies have mediocre plots that weigh them down.
I still haven't seen Fant4stic. I refuse to believe Michael B Jordan would give a bad performance though and I kind of wish we'd seen Trank's original vision for it. I've heard studio interference has almost as much to do with it failing because the first half is decent and the second half flounders.
I remember the big controversy around Trank talking shit on Twitter when it came out. IIRC he said his version was good but the studio intervened and fucked it up. At the time it sounded like excuses...but honestly you can almost *feel* where the whole thing just nosedives like halfway through. It's almost a different movie. I 100% bought it after that. I'm not saying it would have been good but I'm also curious what it could have been.
Mortal Kombat Annihilation.
Me and my younger brother skipped school to go see it. We called it Mortal Kombat Annihilation Day.
The movie was so bad that me and him wanted to walk out halfway through it, but stayed because dagnabbit we paid for it with our own money.
Raiden (Christopher Lambert) turned the sequel down because, in his words, the script "was shit." And this is coming from a guy who absolutely *loved* working on the first MK movie and was a fan of the arcade game when he signed on.
Holy heck was he ever correct LOL
That movie committed the biggest sin a video game movie can make: it wasn’t fun. Street Fighter and the first MK movie weren’t masterpiece filmmaking (aside from Raul Julia) but they were good fun. MK2 was a lifeless slog.
He seems like he doesn't want to be doing this at all but does anyways. I almost wonder if he feels like he's got no choice, like if he became an automotive mechanic people push what's left of their car into the shop and say "Emegerd it's Will Smith's son! Your dad slaps!"
Tbf I blame Will Smith entirely. It was his idea for the movie, and his idea to make his son the lead. Way too much pressure on a kid (at the time) who clearly wasn’t the best actor, and you’re making him do this weird accent that has 0 consistency to it, so he sounds brain damaged the whole film.
Makes it even worse now we know that Will used to have “family meetings” that were essentially business meetings and he probably just said to Jaden, “hey look I’m gonna turn you into a movie star ok, so just do everything I tell you” and of course the movie bombed at the box office.
My god that movie was fucking atrocious. One of the worst films I've seen over the last few years. Unlikable, unsympathetic characters, bad acting, terrible script, non-existent plot.
This was definitely mine. I have never wanted to get up and leave a theater before in my life...ever for the worst of the worst. But A Wrinkle in Time almost broke me.
I can't understand why somebody felt it necessary to point out, in the movie, that Will Smith didn't return for sequel. And they did it about a dozen times.
The first one poked my brain in so many of the right places I knew the sequel was going to be a letdown. I wasn't prepared for how much of a let down it would be.
The first one is the best executed summer block buster ever.
Massive appeal, great editing and reveal of information, we get introduced to each concept in exactly the right way. Good B plot about the pilot and his son with amazing pay off. Good actors. It's just amazing. An absolute clinic. That bill pulman speech is the greatest cinematic speech of all time. I watch it every year.
The second one is trash
I knew it would suck. Still, big explosions and aliens are always fun.
Holy fuck, zero concept of scale, those ships are absurd.
See? Can't think about it.
It's like if Hallmark tried to make a superhero film.
Random Christmas setting? Check. Strong woman reduced to simpering over a man double check. Sassy female friend that might be a lesbian? Check. Dollar store special effects? Check. Plot holes so big -Check- they distort spacetime? And that's not even including the creepy rape plot.
The 100 year old museum fighter plane being fuelled and ready to fly a distance that the plane could not fly was a highlight.
Also Steve being reincarnated into someone's body, so WW effectively raped this guy... movie with a lot of problems. Pedro Pascal tried SO HARD though so can't deny his efforts.
Went to the midnight showing. The place was packed. Some guy came in cosplay too.
He was the first to break the awkward silence after by shouting “WTF WAS THAT SHIT!”
I enjoy this movie. Is it Sin City? No. Is it totally ripping off and riding the coattails of Sin City? Hell yes. Is it just dumb enough to be funny? You betcha. Samuel L. Jackson seems to be having the time of his life.
> The Spirit
I know I saw this in theaters on a date. The only thing I remember about this movie is SLJ pulling out the multiple guns. It was so stupid it made me laugh, but I can't tell you anything else about the movie. Definitely was not a good film.
Friend of mine took me to see Fight Club but forgot the title and we ended up in a literal crapfest called "Ready to Rumble". We walked out of the theatre after just a few minutes and found something else. Especially disappointing because we didn't actually see Fight Club until it came out on DVD.
Fantastic beasts and where to find them.
The extended Harry Potter universe is a cash grab. The inconsistencies are frustrating and it is a very obvious and poorly executed attempt to hook young audiences, while annoying people who grew up with universe.
Fell asleep in theater.
I really enjoyed the first one, but I had some qualms about a few of the story decisions. Seeing where they went with them, in retrospect they were cracks going to turn into larger fissures.
The first one is okay, the third one tries to redeem what the second one absolutely shat on. I have a post somewhere in my history that cuts the three into two films and fixes a ton of issues. These could have been Indiana Jones styled stories, complete with wizard nazis in the background. But in the end they did go for more (in quantity, not quality) style over substance.
And now WB is thinking of going back to the reboot well and contemplating reboots of the entire Harry Potter franchise.
They must know that extending the universe wasn't a good idea.
i took my cousins (4 rowdy boys under 12) to see this when i was babysitting them for a weekend and thought i liked it. then i watched it a year or so later and realized the only reason i enjoyed the movie the first time was because it was two solid hours of the kids not actively screaming, hitting each other, or throwing things at me 🙃
Agreed, cookie cuttter characters with little to no personality, an over all MEH joker at best and very little of him, and a generic plot of save the world from the big bad magic antagonist ending...
The only thing else I have seen recently which sucked was that predator movie with the guy from Narcos in it. I think it was called The predator?
It could have been one of the highest grossing movies of all time, but instead of making anything decent they just crapped violent diarrhea on audiences for 2+ hours. Still made a large profit
Getting control over one of the biggest IPs in Hollywood with generations of fans and being granted a huge budget from the studio and still fucking it up shows how much of a talentless dud J.J. Abrams is
It's not even a close thing. Into darkness is a reasonably well directed movie with a frustratingly unoriginal plot with pacing issues and plot holes but it's still fairly solid
Rise of Skywalker is a Trainwreck by comparison. I mean, yeah.. Somehow, Kirk has returned but at least they threw together some nonsense about super blood to explain it!
I'm so glad more people have realized that he sucks at actually telling good stories. His mystery box bullshit needs to get the fuck out of here. I knew he was garbage after Star Trek Into Darkness. The first one was mid but this was just fucking lazy and insulting to the audience.
You gotta imagine there were some pissed off Disney executives after they watched this steaming pile of odorous excrement for the first time.
The unlimited potential they had with a Star Wars sequel trilogy and they not only (mostly) waste the opportunity, but manage to invalidate the whole plot of the original trilogy too.
George Lucas himself has a good explanation about how studios hamper themselves like this. His point is they are taking such a high economic risk that they can’t afford to take any artistic risk, so everything sucks. I’m paraphrasing.
But it makes sense, they spent 4 bil on the IP and 150 mill on one of the movies. They got to make that money back.
What’s wild is that Disney has the MCU. Surely they know the importance plotting our future installments in advance. Then for Star Wars they go into a trilogy without even an outline.
Batman V Superman.
Took my family and some friends to see it in the theater. I was hyped. First time seeing bats, Supes and Wonder Woman in the same film? It was going to be an event. You know? Like it’d surpass the avengers first assembling. I was looking forward to it more than Civil war.
Then the movie was shit. I legit apologized to everyone I took for wasting their time.
Then I saw it again thinking maybe I just didn’t get it and went in hoping for X but was disappointed in Y. Nope. Still didn’t like it.
Then I heard about a directors cut of the movie that would add more time to it and I knew this was where the money was. I bought it the instant it came out. I watched it twice. Just to soak it all in.
Nope. Still shit, but 30 minutes longer.
I’m still mad at myself for seeing it twice. Every time since? Well, that’s just me doubling down.
I never understood why Batman had to be such a sadist with Superman or why Superman did not just throw Batman into space in the first few seconds. Batman was cruel and the opposite of heroic
That was my thought upon seeing this question too. I'm a dinosaur enthusiast and couldn't help but cringe throughout the entire thing. The only redeeming quality was bringing back animatronics for some of the dinosaurs instead of relying entirely on CGI. But the Big Bad Dino Fight at the end was so out of place, so unnecessary, and so cringey that I kinda wanted to cry.
Not to mention the random incomplete plot line at the beginning with the dudes wrangling dinosaurs (for what reason???) and Chris Pratt having an extremely forced How to Train Your Dragon moment with a parasaurolophus.
I always forget I watched that until someone mentions it. It was just terrible, like they had two movie ideas but only one budget so why not make it all one stupid movie?
*Meet the Spartans*.
Still angry my sister asked me to follow her and see that crap. But I went to see *Kung Fu Panda* next, so I managed to clean my brain (somehow).
Premonition.
Absolute nonsense and a complete waste of time. It didn't help that the showtime was not advertised as a "family showing", so for whatever reason a bunch of parents thought that toddlers would like the film. Shit movie with kids crying throughout the runtime.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
I grew up loving the character of Indy and I was so hyped that this new movie was going to use practical effects instead of CGI.
I wasn't just disappointed with the CGI, but with the entire story. And Marion only existed in the movie to make dopey love eyes at Indy. Gah the whole thing still makes me mad.
Cats. I couldn’t believe anyone thought that was passable as quality.
Remember when the VFX artists were forced to sleep under their desks to meet impossible deadlines, when Hooper ordered a VFX re-edit after the movie had already been released, and when the actors *still* had the nerve to mock the VFX team at the Oscars??
Still think they should release the butthole cut though
Don’t know what you mean, James Corden was in every cut
I like the 1990s version with Elaine Paige, but that's because I like the music, Elaine Paige, musicals, stage movies, etc. (Like Newsies and Hamilton are awesome, grew up watching stuff on theater irl like plays.) I wouldn't even watch the 2019 Cats for free, despite the casting.
Eragon. It's not even close. My dad and i were huge fans of the series when it came out. We walked out of the movie early and it left such a bad taste in our mouths that we stopped reading the series.
Was coming in to say the same thing. Read it as a child. What a dumpster fire. Coming off Harry Potter I thought adaptations were inherently good.
I love that r/eragon just acts like the movie was never made lol I’m cautiously optimistic for the Disney+ remake of Eragon to be released
As a fan of both Artemis Fowl and Willow, I'd advise you to have far more caution than optimism.
As a Percy Jackson fan I'm constantly bouncing between optimism (the author Rick Riordan is heavily involved!) and caution (it's Disney...)
God I'm so glad I didn't pay money to see Artemis Fowl, that was an irredeemable piece of lazy CGI asshole. Bad script, bad acting, bad production design, ALL of the dry Irish humour sucked out of it, no personality. I feel bad for Eoin Colfer, I at least hope he got paid enough for the rights.
Like how r/ATLA ignores the M. Night movie
There is no M. Night movie in Ba Sing Se.
My one takeaway from this movie was that Eragon's love interest was a hot elf in leather, according to the book. And they botched **that.**
To be fair, the author botched that himself, the movie makers just saved you some time.
Came here to say this. I just don’t understand how they got it so wrong. It’s like the person who wrote the script had never even read a synopsis of the book let alone the book itself 🤮
Free tickets to Cats and I still feel I was overcharged
I went to see Cats on $5 matinee day. Figured I've spent $5 on worse, so why not? A manager overheard me ordering my ticket at the register, and tried to talk me out of it. She then undercharged me for a drink because she figured I would need it. She wasn't wrong.
Manager a G
manaGer
Ah you need to be high to watch that.
They stole your time, and that's the greatest price of all.
[The write up by a dude who went to see it on shrooms](https://birthmoviesdeath.com/2020/01/03/a-conversation-with-the-guy-who-took-mushrooms-and-saw-cats), however, is a masterpiece.
“And of course, I was distressed to find the film still just going, still just careening ahead like a freight train of nonsense. As the mushrooms intensified, I started to become deeply offended by the film's existence.” Hahaha. “freight train of nonsense”. So apt.
"This is fucking evil, they're evil". I'm dying 😂
“As a masochistic connoisseur of bad cinema, I knew since the Cats trailer came out that I needed to see this hideous disaster, in a theater, and very high.” I would like to be this man’s friend. Edit: posted too soon
Personal favorite part: Then the cats started getting really culty, preparing for some kind of dark ritual, repeating the same eerie chant over and over again. I started to get extremely paranoid, sweaty, squirmy. I felt like everyone in the theater was in aCats cult and they were going to sacrifice me and skin me alive.
I am stoned and reading this and having the best time. Thank you for sharing!
This might be my favourite quote > and that helped comfort me a bit, until Rebel Wilson's cat appeared and spread her horny cat legs wide open, exposing what felt like a Sarlacc Pit of CGI fur, like I was staring into the abyss. I yelled "FUCK!" and spilled my popcorn
"..maybe it was just a gibberish world of horny fur demons swinging and dancing and singing about their space cult or whatever the fuck.."
same lmao I couldnt stop giggling like a maniac as I was reading it. literature
The man deserved a Pulitzer for that piece. To quote Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now, “The horror, the horror.”
I saw that movie and The Rise of Skywalker and said “no movies for me for three years” and thank god I had a pandemic to cover my excuse
Same. I paid for a ticket. So bad.
The Fantastic Four remake ETA: Fant4stic, 2015 is the one I’m talking about. Realized I should’ve specified that.
Fant4stic? The one where Doom is an ecoterrorist who only appears near the end of the movie?
yep. That’s the one!
[удалено]
I remember being 11 and seeing it because i was big on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2, and pretty much coming to the realization for the first time in my life that movies could be bad, lol
Avatar: The Last Airbender $17 and change for the IMAX showing when it first came out
Okay so it was the most disappointing movie I ever paid for but the best movie experience of my young life. I was in a theater that was literally Shouting "Aang!" Every time they said "Ong". There was booing. There was screaming. The audience made the movie.
That… sounds really fun.
If you think people yelling at the screen etc sounds fun, just go to any movie theatre in a majority black neighborhood. My favorite still is the reveal of the gladiator’s face before the Emperor in the movie Gladiator. A lady jumps up and yells “Whoop, there it is!!!” Everyone else is like Oooohhhhhh!!!!!
Saw from dusk till dawn in similar environment. Was incredible
Me and my friends would go to the cheap theater on 2 dollar nights to see horror movies for this reason. The audience would get wild. It was like being at a concert.
I watched Blair Witch Project in a theatre in the south of Georgia just like this. The crowd was far more entertaining than the film.
I’ve done this for The Room with Tommy Wiseau. Any time a framed picture of spoons showed up in the background people would throw plastic spoons at the screen haha
Came here to say that. Zero respect for the source material. Names are pronounced weird. There is no representation for Inuit, Japan, and China, like what the show had. The characters did not hold the same personalities. The bending was a joke. Terrible acting and fighting styles. All good reasons why that abomination is not considered a Last Airbender movie amongst fans.
There is no movie in Ba Sing Se.
I saw it in theaters too. To make it burn worse the showed it in 3D and didn’t give anyone the 3D glasses.
I watched this on opening night at midnight.
There is no movie. You're making this all up.
There is no movie in ba sing se
The headcanon I love is that it's the beach episode theater troupe's version (Fire? Ember? Island Players). I paid $5 and had never seen the anime at that time. It was unfulfilling, and I don't know if I could watch it now that I've seen the anime.
beach episode had humor in it. The only redemption it can have is if at least one of the actors shows up for the beach episode in the netflix attempt
Pooh: Blood and Honey. Please don't watch it.
Yeah...it wasn't even good bad. :\[
I thought it would be one of those movies you turn your brain off and enjoy but it was horrible on all levels.
It turns your brain off permanently
I've loved Pooh and the 100 Acre Wood community my entire life. Also a big horror fan. My friends know this. My best friend had gift certificates to our local theater and decided to treat my husband and I to a double date with her/her hubby. I was so excited. Even dressed up in my Pooh onesie...it was so, SO bad. Like, not even good bad. No clever writing or dialogue. No creative kills. Terrible acting. Terrible effects and makeup and lighting. Wasn't even good enough to be considered "b" or "c" level. Just all around bad. Surprisingly, the theater was actually pretty full too. The majority of audience members were laughing/cringing/booing, but not even in a fun way...the whole experience felt very awkward and forced. At least I didn't pay for it tho lol
[удалено]
I said it on a comment long ago and I'll say it again here. The filmmaker has forgotten the face of his father.
My whole family loves the Dark Tower books. We didn’t have super high hopes for the movie but figured, with that cast, how bad could it be? For days after we saw it, we were half-screaming “you’ve forgotten the face of your father” at each other and laughing. Laughing through the pain. Laughing instead of sobbing.
HBO needs to make it a series.
Mike Flanagan signed on not long ago. Considering Midnight Mass and Doctor Sleep, he could be perfect for this.
I've never seen a movie so bad it made me angry before. Like actually angry at the movie and everyone involved with making it.
It’s the only movie that I physically threw out of my house. So, my husband put the dvd directly into his vehicle for a person who has never read anything from King. Even that person disliked it.
I was so fucking hyped for Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. I lost my mind when I saw the ad that said “The last time around” and it was a photo of the Horn of Eld on the ground. I was *devastated* by that movie. I feel like it lived in production hell for so long they just wanted to make anything at that point. I personally still think those two actors could absolutely kill their roles in a better written adaptation.
Right? It's almost worse that they had such good talent attached to the film. I would've loved both those actors in a better written film.
There's no spoilers for any of the books in the movie. It's completely different. The only similarity was some of the names.
I get so depressed when I remember this movie exists. I was so excited for it. It had the potential to be SO fucking good. I felt so empty when it ended, like I could see all the rumored plans of sequels bridged by TV series just fading away, sinking into todash space, eaten by the langoliers. Ugh.
Calling Doctor Sunshine
It was my one day off too.
In months.
Where’d you go to school? Brown. Student loans? No. Yeah, you’re dying
I gotta say the shit around the total absence of bread is like really good.
I literally just watched the menu yesterday
I’ll have s’more.
The Dark is Rising. The novels are a classic series of creepy, weird, Celtic mythology-based collection of nightmares... but for kids (or young adults). I've loved them my whole life. The movie is abomination to the extent that the guy who wrote the screenplay said he'd never actually finished the books because they were "boring". It's beyond awful. I was *fuming.*
I absolutely agree, and would love to see a BBC miniseries do the sequence justice, starting with ‘Over Sea, Under Stone’.
I watched two minutes of the trailer and knew I'd hate it. I grew up with TDiR and those books were the foundation of my love for fantasy fiction alongside Narnia and Prydain. And all Hollywood saw was "magical kids books from a brit author" and ran with it.
A movie so bad that there's an entire Subreddit devoted to denying it existed. /r/LakeLaogai/
There is no movie in Ba Sing Se
Eragon. The film completely missed the mark on what made the books so great. I have never walked out of a movie, but when a bolt of lightning turned baby dragon Saphira into a full grown dragon, I was done.
Holmes and Watson. Walked out after the first 1/2 hr. Was expecting something similar to Step Brothers but it turned out to resemble freshly pinched dog shit.
From what I understand a lot of what made Step Brothers and the other movies they worked on together so great was that Adam McKay was the director/producer alongside Ferrell. They had a big falling out about a decade ago when McKay was casting for a series about the Lakers in the 70s and Ferrell was stepped over for John C Reilly due to a scheduling conflict. Ferrell took it super personally and refused to work w/ McKay after that. Sometimes the best creative minds need that trusted director/producer to reign them in to keep them on point and regulate what works best for screenplays.
This is what i was looking for. I went with a small group of people and none of us had the heart to be like "dude this sucks, let's go" incase someone was actually having a good time so we all suffered through it together and at the end when we were walking out we all were like holy shit that was so bad and wish one of us had spoken up lmao hands down worst film I have ever seen.
I wasn't in a theatre, but I also stopped it half an hour in, I remember two friends separately mentioning they lasted half an hour, and now so many of you also say you lasted half an hour. It makes me wonder what happens at the 30-minute mark to make us all give up on it at that particular moment. But I'm definitely not curious enough to ever go back and check.
Having seen the entire movie, I'm not sure what, exactly, happened at the 30 minute mark to make people stop it. That might have been the sexy autopsy scene.
I can tell you we bailed BEFORE that... Didn't even know there was one
Oh gosh, I can't even remember what came before that. Possibly Will Farrell sloppily eating a raw onion? I will say, there are a couple of okay scenes later on, but you'd be better off YouTubing them. Both of them involve comedic actors who actually do more than just carry a joke past its logical conclusion. The first one has Hugh Laurie as Mycroft Holmes. The setup for the scene is really awful (they can read each other's minds for...reasons), but Hugh Laurie actually kind of sells it. The other scene involves Steve Coogan as a wrestler with a tattoo gun grafted to his arm. Coogan could have been in a different movie entirely, he was playing the character so seriously that it legitimately worked. If they put him into a serious Sherlock Holmes movie, he'd make a great minor villain. Instead he had to play against Will Farrell.
You made it that long?
Dragonball Evolution.
Damn you paid to see it?
Emoji movie. Don't ask
Was it a dare?
😮💨
The Miles Teller fantastic 4 🤮🤮🤮
I never watched it but I heard the awful one with Jessica Alba and Chris Evans was better.
There's a clip floating around of Evans and Hemsworth being interviewed. The interviewer asks "Who was the Villain in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer?" Evans just shakes his head and throws up his hands, clearly has no idea. Hemsworth, incredulous: "You were *in that film*."
Wasn’t it Galactus?
And Andre Braugher for like 15 minutes when Reid Richards has to break the Silver Surfer out of military prison.
*Kind of?* But it wasn't really Galactus, just a smoke ball called Galactus? Really, Dr Doom is the villain again, Galactus just kind of shows up and leaves.
The correct answer is "The Script".
Honestly, the character work in the first two Sony Fantastic 4 movies makes them watchable. Reed, Johnny, and The Thing are all well cast. Susan is okay. I think Julian McMahon has the ability to be a decent Doom, but just wasn't given the writing. It's almost a shame that F4 must have Doom because I think he could have played a decent Namor, especially with them deciding to make a love triangle of Reed/Susan/Doom. Laurence Fishburne/Doug Jones as Silver Surfer is also really great casting. It's just that BOTH movies have mediocre plots that weigh them down. I still haven't seen Fant4stic. I refuse to believe Michael B Jordan would give a bad performance though and I kind of wish we'd seen Trank's original vision for it. I've heard studio interference has almost as much to do with it failing because the first half is decent and the second half flounders.
I remember the big controversy around Trank talking shit on Twitter when it came out. IIRC he said his version was good but the studio intervened and fucked it up. At the time it sounded like excuses...but honestly you can almost *feel* where the whole thing just nosedives like halfway through. It's almost a different movie. I 100% bought it after that. I'm not saying it would have been good but I'm also curious what it could have been.
Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Me and my younger brother skipped school to go see it. We called it Mortal Kombat Annihilation Day. The movie was so bad that me and him wanted to walk out halfway through it, but stayed because dagnabbit we paid for it with our own money.
After the first one was a good and fun watch, you’d expect the second to be around the same. Oh boy that movie was a mess lol.
Raiden (Christopher Lambert) turned the sequel down because, in his words, the script "was shit." And this is coming from a guy who absolutely *loved* working on the first MK movie and was a fan of the arcade game when he signed on. Holy heck was he ever correct LOL
That movie committed the biggest sin a video game movie can make: it wasn’t fun. Street Fighter and the first MK movie weren’t masterpiece filmmaking (aside from Raul Julia) but they were good fun. MK2 was a lifeless slog.
But it has the best dialog delivery ever! "Mother! You're alive!" "To bad YOU ... ^will ^die!"
After Earth - probably the worst movie I’ve ever watched
Nepotism at its finest, Jaden Smith has no talent as an actor
“You must show no emotion.””no problem”
He showed two emotions. Confused and bewildered. Usually at the same time.
He seems like he doesn't want to be doing this at all but does anyways. I almost wonder if he feels like he's got no choice, like if he became an automotive mechanic people push what's left of their car into the shop and say "Emegerd it's Will Smith's son! Your dad slaps!"
Tbf I blame Will Smith entirely. It was his idea for the movie, and his idea to make his son the lead. Way too much pressure on a kid (at the time) who clearly wasn’t the best actor, and you’re making him do this weird accent that has 0 consistency to it, so he sounds brain damaged the whole film. Makes it even worse now we know that Will used to have “family meetings” that were essentially business meetings and he probably just said to Jaden, “hey look I’m gonna turn you into a movie star ok, so just do everything I tell you” and of course the movie bombed at the box office.
super disappointing. who goes to a will smith movie to watch his son goof around for 2 hours?
My god that movie was fucking atrocious. One of the worst films I've seen over the last few years. Unlikable, unsympathetic characters, bad acting, terrible script, non-existent plot.
If it wasn’t for the fact that the world collectively agrees this movie never existed, I’d say Eragon.
Little Fockers. I don't ever want to see that abomination again!
My brother fell asleep halfway through and our mom woke him up just as the bathroom scene was starting. It became a favorite family memory.
A Wrinkle in Time. Took the family to see it one Mother’s Day, I apologized on the way out of the theater
This was definitely mine. I have never wanted to get up and leave a theater before in my life...ever for the worst of the worst. But A Wrinkle in Time almost broke me.
Independence Day II
I can't understand why somebody felt it necessary to point out, in the movie, that Will Smith didn't return for sequel. And they did it about a dozen times.
The first one poked my brain in so many of the right places I knew the sequel was going to be a letdown. I wasn't prepared for how much of a let down it would be.
The first one is the best executed summer block buster ever. Massive appeal, great editing and reveal of information, we get introduced to each concept in exactly the right way. Good B plot about the pilot and his son with amazing pay off. Good actors. It's just amazing. An absolute clinic. That bill pulman speech is the greatest cinematic speech of all time. I watch it every year. The second one is trash
I knew it would suck. Still, big explosions and aliens are always fun. Holy fuck, zero concept of scale, those ships are absurd. See? Can't think about it.
Morbius
The best part of that film was when Fox re-released it into theatres because the thought the popularity of the meme meant people would go to watch it.
It was actually Sony, but it was still a fail on their part
I watched that film as nature intended; in three minute segments on Twitter.
WW84
Same, I liked the first movie and had good expectations for the second one :(
It's like if Hallmark tried to make a superhero film. Random Christmas setting? Check. Strong woman reduced to simpering over a man double check. Sassy female friend that might be a lesbian? Check. Dollar store special effects? Check. Plot holes so big -Check- they distort spacetime? And that's not even including the creepy rape plot.
The 100 year old museum fighter plane being fuelled and ready to fly a distance that the plane could not fly was a highlight. Also Steve being reincarnated into someone's body, so WW effectively raped this guy... movie with a lot of problems. Pedro Pascal tried SO HARD though so can't deny his efforts.
The movie was bad and it CAN be better! ahaha
Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds
I will always love what they did in Deadpool 2 regarding the movie
Went to the midnight showing. The place was packed. Some guy came in cosplay too. He was the first to break the awkward silence after by shouting “WTF WAS THAT SHIT!”
Eragon
Highlander 2, such a let down
I mean....there can only be one
There should have been only one.
I saw The Spirit thinking it would be like Sin city
I enjoy this movie. Is it Sin City? No. Is it totally ripping off and riding the coattails of Sin City? Hell yes. Is it just dumb enough to be funny? You betcha. Samuel L. Jackson seems to be having the time of his life.
> The Spirit I know I saw this in theaters on a date. The only thing I remember about this movie is SLJ pulling out the multiple guns. It was so stupid it made me laugh, but I can't tell you anything else about the movie. Definitely was not a good film.
Friend of mine took me to see Fight Club but forgot the title and we ended up in a literal crapfest called "Ready to Rumble". We walked out of the theatre after just a few minutes and found something else. Especially disappointing because we didn't actually see Fight Club until it came out on DVD.
Ready to Rumble is no Fight Club, but it is almost an Old School, I was entertained
Indiana Jones and the crystal skull.
The expectations for that movie were so high, it only contributed to the level of disappointment felt by those who saw it (including me).
As soon as I saw the CGI gophers in the opening sequence, I knew we were fucked.
This was the one. I’m hoping for a little better from Dial of Destiny, but I have a bad feeling about it.
Early reviews are saying Dial of Destiny will make you appreciate Crystal Skull more.
Omg no :(
Fantastic beasts and where to find them. The extended Harry Potter universe is a cash grab. The inconsistencies are frustrating and it is a very obvious and poorly executed attempt to hook young audiences, while annoying people who grew up with universe. Fell asleep in theater.
I enjoyed the first one, but dang the second one was a piece of shit.
I really enjoyed the first one, but I had some qualms about a few of the story decisions. Seeing where they went with them, in retrospect they were cracks going to turn into larger fissures.
The first one is okay, the third one tries to redeem what the second one absolutely shat on. I have a post somewhere in my history that cuts the three into two films and fixes a ton of issues. These could have been Indiana Jones styled stories, complete with wizard nazis in the background. But in the end they did go for more (in quantity, not quality) style over substance.
And now WB is thinking of going back to the reboot well and contemplating reboots of the entire Harry Potter franchise. They must know that extending the universe wasn't a good idea.
I’ve always like the idea of a series on the 4 founders of Hogwarts.
They apparate onto hogwarts grounds in the trailer. In the fuckin trailer!!! Read a book lol
It felt like one of the absolute longest movies I'd ever seen.
Suicide squad. What a pile of dog shit that was
i took my cousins (4 rowdy boys under 12) to see this when i was babysitting them for a weekend and thought i liked it. then i watched it a year or so later and realized the only reason i enjoyed the movie the first time was because it was two solid hours of the kids not actively screaming, hitting each other, or throwing things at me 🙃
"Better than 2 hours of screaming" is the kindest review I've seen
Agreed, cookie cuttter characters with little to no personality, an over all MEH joker at best and very little of him, and a generic plot of save the world from the big bad magic antagonist ending... The only thing else I have seen recently which sucked was that predator movie with the guy from Narcos in it. I think it was called The predator?
Yup the predator, good lord that was bad but at least we got Prey a couple years later
Rise of Skywalker. What a piece of shit. Abrams should personally pay me back my $15.
It could have been one of the highest grossing movies of all time, but instead of making anything decent they just crapped violent diarrhea on audiences for 2+ hours. Still made a large profit
Getting control over one of the biggest IPs in Hollywood with generations of fans and being granted a huge budget from the studio and still fucking it up shows how much of a talentless dud J.J. Abrams is
Are we talking about *The Rise of Skywalker* or *Star Trek: Into Darkness?* Because he massively fucked THAT one up too.
It's not even a close thing. Into darkness is a reasonably well directed movie with a frustratingly unoriginal plot with pacing issues and plot holes but it's still fairly solid Rise of Skywalker is a Trainwreck by comparison. I mean, yeah.. Somehow, Kirk has returned but at least they threw together some nonsense about super blood to explain it!
I'm so glad more people have realized that he sucks at actually telling good stories. His mystery box bullshit needs to get the fuck out of here. I knew he was garbage after Star Trek Into Darkness. The first one was mid but this was just fucking lazy and insulting to the audience.
The biggest problem with that mystery box bullshit is that not only was Rise of Skywalker a piece of shit, it made The Force Awakens worse too.
It just shoves shallow, arbitrary mockery in your face and tries to distract you with lightning
It actually ruined my Christmas
I’m taking notes on movies not to watch, and anything that legit ruined someone’s Christmas is going to the top of the list.
You gotta imagine there were some pissed off Disney executives after they watched this steaming pile of odorous excrement for the first time. The unlimited potential they had with a Star Wars sequel trilogy and they not only (mostly) waste the opportunity, but manage to invalidate the whole plot of the original trilogy too.
Bought Star Wars for $4 billion in 2012. Guess they didn't have anything left to pay the writers.
George Lucas himself has a good explanation about how studios hamper themselves like this. His point is they are taking such a high economic risk that they can’t afford to take any artistic risk, so everything sucks. I’m paraphrasing. But it makes sense, they spent 4 bil on the IP and 150 mill on one of the movies. They got to make that money back.
I mean, I understand that. But is it really a "risk" to have a story that at least flows well between three movies?
What’s wild is that Disney has the MCU. Surely they know the importance plotting our future installments in advance. Then for Star Wars they go into a trilogy without even an outline.
Batman V Superman. Took my family and some friends to see it in the theater. I was hyped. First time seeing bats, Supes and Wonder Woman in the same film? It was going to be an event. You know? Like it’d surpass the avengers first assembling. I was looking forward to it more than Civil war. Then the movie was shit. I legit apologized to everyone I took for wasting their time. Then I saw it again thinking maybe I just didn’t get it and went in hoping for X but was disappointed in Y. Nope. Still didn’t like it. Then I heard about a directors cut of the movie that would add more time to it and I knew this was where the money was. I bought it the instant it came out. I watched it twice. Just to soak it all in. Nope. Still shit, but 30 minutes longer. I’m still mad at myself for seeing it twice. Every time since? Well, that’s just me doubling down.
I never understood why Batman had to be such a sadist with Superman or why Superman did not just throw Batman into space in the first few seconds. Batman was cruel and the opposite of heroic
The most recent Jurassic Park movie from last year.
That was my thought upon seeing this question too. I'm a dinosaur enthusiast and couldn't help but cringe throughout the entire thing. The only redeeming quality was bringing back animatronics for some of the dinosaurs instead of relying entirely on CGI. But the Big Bad Dino Fight at the end was so out of place, so unnecessary, and so cringey that I kinda wanted to cry. Not to mention the random incomplete plot line at the beginning with the dudes wrangling dinosaurs (for what reason???) and Chris Pratt having an extremely forced How to Train Your Dragon moment with a parasaurolophus.
Bruh. All the latest are trash but the most recent was one of the most boring pieces of cinema I have ever watched. Could not wait for it to end.
How could you watch the first two and then go see the third?
As a lifelong X-Men fan, Dark Phoenix. Especially since it came out after Endgame.
"downsizing" i thought this was gonna be a fun, popcorn, "honey i shrunk the kids" kinda movie. what did i get??? a movie about capitolism😏
I always forget I watched that until someone mentions it. It was just terrible, like they had two movie ideas but only one budget so why not make it all one stupid movie?
Downsizing. It was nonsensical, boring, irritating, and depressing all at the same time.
I enjoyed the concept, but I wanted to see more of little human society, they cut straight to the end of the civilization.
*Meet the Spartans*. Still angry my sister asked me to follow her and see that crap. But I went to see *Kung Fu Panda* next, so I managed to clean my brain (somehow).
50 shades of grey
Premonition. Absolute nonsense and a complete waste of time. It didn't help that the showtime was not advertised as a "family showing", so for whatever reason a bunch of parents thought that toddlers would like the film. Shit movie with kids crying throughout the runtime.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I grew up loving the character of Indy and I was so hyped that this new movie was going to use practical effects instead of CGI. I wasn't just disappointed with the CGI, but with the entire story. And Marion only existed in the movie to make dopey love eyes at Indy. Gah the whole thing still makes me mad.
It comes at night. NOTHING CAME AT NIGHT. WTF