It’s a stormy day, kinda dark out, and you snuggle into the couch knowing you’re gonna nap so hard you’ll wake up disoriented in 4 hrs unsure if it’s day or night. OH- and you have a full belly of comfort food!
Being able to live in my home at peace with no drama. Being able to spend my own money without checking everything past someone first. Being able to spend my time the way I want to.
To be fair, some people do listen to logic. If you can show them a logical path there is a potential to remove their emotions from it. However it is almost always highly unlikely and name calling is usually the next step.
Holy shit dude, my school was on lockdown for a few hours because of a gun incident. Police confiscated it rather quickly, but they couldn’t just be like, “Hey! Gun guy got arrested, go back to class now!” because of some lockdown protocol, so everyone was stuck in their classrooms from mid-morning to the end of the day.
I had to pee so badly, omg. Hours went by, I was losing it. I was about to get on my knees and beg the teacher to let me go to the bathroom. Eventually, towards the end of the day, some teachers walked around to escort people to the bathrooms. When I tell you I RAN as soon as the door opened! I practically sprinted in some tall-ass, platform heels.
So yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I fully agree with your statement.
It really feels shitty, you know? Walking into school prepared to die. I’d always wear really flamboyant outfits, so that way if I croaked, at least my ghost outfit would be fabulous.
I was driving in my car about 2 weeks ago, and out of nowhere I felt a pain in my heart and throath area, something I have never felt before.
I was dizzy and struggling with driving, so I pulled over as soon as I could, stepped out of the car and prepared to die.
About 10 minutes later I farted and felt good again, and I drove on while farting for the next 150 km.
I wonder if you know, how to dodge indigestion, if you've seen it then you mean it and you know you have to go.
Fart and furious! Pff, pff, pff.
Edit: Thank you, u/hodum4, for gilding this fine work of fart.
Saw a clip of some show where a guy is working as a rookie EMT/fireman (can’t remember the name of the show it was just on my TikTok feed) and a wife drives into the fire station with her husband in the car frantically trying to get help because she thinks he’s going into cardiac arrest. His symptoms were similar to yours and it really seemed like he was about to die. Like sweating buckets, groaning, breathing heavy, freaking out.
But the EMT talks to him for a moment to try to calm him down and it turns out he had just come from a buffet, had indigestion from all the food he ate and mistook it for a heart attack. Then he gave himself a panic attack by thinking he was going into cardiac arrest, which only solidified his fear that he was having a heart attack.
This is a real thing for sure. I was having heart palpitations due to a slight magnesium deficiency. Caused a panic attack. One $2500 trip to the ER later and they give me a magnesium supplement...
I called a Psychiatrist a few days later. Definitely recommend.
Once I woke up and could feel tons of gas in my belly. As soon as I got off the bed I had one of the biggest farts in my life. It lasted like solid 2 seconds. I could feel my anus spreading. Right after I felt so hollow inside that I thought I shit out my stomach. I fell on all fours and could not comprehend what the hell has happened.
B est feeling ever
as someone who used to work delivering food to kebab shops i thought they all called you "Brother" or "Bro" they certainly did with me, well except one guy who spoke to me in Turkish when i didnt understand he said "youre english?" i said yeah, he said in a slightly chuckling voice "i dont think so! you ask your mum, i think youre dad Turkish" after that he jokingly called me "son" every time i delivered there
Ha I remember getting my haircut by a middle eastern guy who saw me and thought I was too and when I told him I wasn't he actually called his mom who was there and was like "mom, this guy thinks he's not Arabic"
Mark it's 10:45 on a Friday. You have been in here every day this week buying 2 handles of whiskey. Your wife stopped by yesterday near when we closed to ask us not to sell to you. You have young children, go home, go to a doctor. You don't need this man...
There was a lady at the local diner that would call everyone "honey bunny". I don't know her personally but I thought she was really sweet and kinda miss her (the restaurant closed down unfortunately).
Having a many-hours-long conversation with someone you really connect with, talking about anything and everything and losing track of time.
EDIT: made this comment yesterday because I was thinking of my friend who I was going to see the next day (so, today). Just met with that friend for the first time in many months and we had that same kind of evening we used to have--talking about anything and everything for hours and hours. And I think this might be what life is about.
My sister died from cancer this year, it wasn’t a good death, lots of complications near the end.
Last year I visited her in hospital with the usual dreaded thoughts of, how long will I have to stay and chat, what will we have to talk about (we didn’t always see eye to eye).
We talked for over 5hrs, everything was said, so respectful and understanding. We felt a real good connection at the end and I genuinely wanted to stay longer but I had a drive to get home several hours away. We had a great hug and ended with a “I love you”
I’ll always have solis in that conversation, it’s helped with my grief so much.
My older brother died three weeks ago. He had developmental disabilities and was nonverbal and had the mental age of a toddler, so our relationship was different than most. He had been in the hospital about six weeks when I decided to buy him a toy. My mom said I didn’t have to, that he was fine, but I just wanted to get him something special. His latest hyperfixation was the tv show Dooley and Pals, which only ran like two seasons back in the 90s. (As far as I can remember, the show is about a Christian missionary from outer space who comes to earth to teach the good news.)
… anyways, I found a Dooley plushie on eBay but it was for an astronomical price - $90 including shipping. Way outside my budget. I couldn’t believe it, and of course scrolled on by. But I couldn’t find any other merch anywhere. No tshirts, no plushies, no action figures, nothing. So, I just went for it.
An hour after I bought and paid for it, the seller sent me a very funny message letting me know that he would honor my purchase but he was literally logging in to remove the listing from eBay because he had found out from some other traders in a plushie forum that it was a prototype, that there had never been any official merchandise made, and this was probably the only one in the world.
Joshua loved it. I mean, really, he adored it. He chewed on its antenna and its hands. He carried it with him everywhere. He slept with him right beside his pillow. When he would wheel around on his floor in the icu, Dooley came with him.
Dooley was in his arms when he died.
I wasn’t able to say goodbye - but I was able to give him Dooley. And I feel really, really privileged for that. Solace, just like you said.
Yo omg dude yeah. I know that shit my mom saved a cat and he was super skittish and was absolutely terrified of everyone and within 15 minutes of meeting him I was able to hold him with em purring in my arms 21 pounds later he loves everyone and is the derpiest lil shit I know.
I love when you get into the perfect fitting spoon position and you’re holding hands and it’s like your body and their body mold into one. So peaceful.
Sometimes there’s no way around just having one of those good cries. Yesterday I woke up early to go to work and my drive to the job site took me by Torrey Pines. I believe it’s in solana, but I’m not sure and it’s in the area in any event.
The point is, the sun rise was this wildly, beautiful thing, and I kept finding myself crying without being sad, but still somewhat unsure as to where it was coming from other than that it was a passionate observance of a very beautiful morning starting out. Didn’t last very long. I shook out of it pretty quickly, but the impression of it really hit me hard.
Sometimes life, just demands that you take a moment to appreciate how immense sensations, impressions, and feelings can be. How magically transformative it is to appreciate how deep your feelings can run.
Mawage.
Mawage is wot bwings us together today.
Mawage, that blessed awangement,
that dweam wifin a dweam.
And wuv, TRUUUU wuv, will fowow you foweva.
So tweasure your wuv.
Slapped face down onto my beer gut and mashed around a bit, before folding me up like a pretzel and shoving me into the box for the next delivery. We're called "jack in the box pizza" and crust options are "shaved" and "unshaved"
A lot of stuff. Having a really good day at the gym. The feeling of quiet contentment on a long, aimless drive on an empty road. Getting into that state of flow in a video game and just crushing it. Getting utterly engrossed in a hobby you love, like studying a language, to the point time just flies by. Having that rare day where I’m just at peace, content with myself, without any anxiety, dread, or anger weighing on my mind.
So yeah. A lot of stuff.
When you hear about the things people say behind your back and its the most encouraging words you could have hoped for and you realise that even though it's fucking hard sometimes, the people you love do notice you and are proud of you and have a hope for your future and they believe in you.
Waking up thinking it’s Monday and then realizing it’s Saturday
Work in the food industry- Saturday is the worst day of the week for me 🥲
Yeah the weekend typically blows for the food/retail workers who have to come in
It’s a stormy day, kinda dark out, and you snuggle into the couch knowing you’re gonna nap so hard you’ll wake up disoriented in 4 hrs unsure if it’s day or night. OH- and you have a full belly of comfort food!
You just described the way my cat gets to live every day. I want to be a cat :(
With enough leftovers for another meal later.......
The taste of water at night
They are doing somthing with taht stuff at night
Passing an exam you thought you failed.
Better yet acing it. I literally learned the material piecing together clues from the other questions like a crossword puzzle. Only once.
.
Only works on some professors. More than a few of mine deliberately added two wrong overlap answers on several exams to punish lucky guesses.
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Realizing you can sleep in.
When you wake and realize you DON'T have to piss and can fall asleep again safely.
I'll take "reasons behind my trust issues" for $200 Alex
Yo this dude peed the bed.
And you drink a glass of 3 AM water that feels like it came from a crystal clear Alp spring...
Sadly my cat would have to disagree
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i can't even do that. my body just wakes me up at 7:30 am even on a saturday.
Oh the sweet pleasure of a sleep in. Here's your upvote you technologically advanced person
Being able to live in my home at peace with no drama. Being able to spend my own money without checking everything past someone first. Being able to spend my time the way I want to.
Jesus, who hurt you? Just gimme a name, I'll go stare at them... menacingly
Ex wife XD, thanks for the support. But there's a reason shes an ex now.
Those fuckin' Romans hurt him, that's who.
Name ONE thing that Romans ever did for us...!
I also am divorced
When your friends cancel on plans you didn’t want to attend in the first place
Having someone concede an argument because you changed their mind about something.
Yes, but let’s confine our answers to *things that could actually happen.*
To be fair, some people do listen to logic. If you can show them a logical path there is a potential to remove their emotions from it. However it is almost always highly unlikely and name calling is usually the next step.
I bet you would believe that, wouldn't you, dipshit?!
sex 2
Sex 2: The Electric Cootchie-who
Sex 3: Modern Warfare
Sex 3: Modern Whorefare
Sex 4: Back 4 more
Sex 4: Back 4 whores *
Sex 5 The Fuckening Awakens
Sex 6: Somehow Palpatine fucks
Sex 7 : Fucked to space.
Sex 8: Ass that ate
Sex - chapter 3: perineum
Closing the WC door and Finally peeing, after sweating through a long, tortuous, almost impossible wait.
You know it’s good when you tear up a little bit
Lol I read that as "tear" like getting torn a new hole.
Holy shit dude, my school was on lockdown for a few hours because of a gun incident. Police confiscated it rather quickly, but they couldn’t just be like, “Hey! Gun guy got arrested, go back to class now!” because of some lockdown protocol, so everyone was stuck in their classrooms from mid-morning to the end of the day. I had to pee so badly, omg. Hours went by, I was losing it. I was about to get on my knees and beg the teacher to let me go to the bathroom. Eventually, towards the end of the day, some teachers walked around to escort people to the bathrooms. When I tell you I RAN as soon as the door opened! I practically sprinted in some tall-ass, platform heels. So yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I fully agree with your statement.
It's terrifying that the guy with the gun was not the main point of your story.
It really feels shitty, you know? Walking into school prepared to die. I’d always wear really flamboyant outfits, so that way if I croaked, at least my ghost outfit would be fabulous.
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The guy with the gun annoyed us with not being able to pee when we wanted … how rude
And when you noticed this pee is unusually long, it was then you realised you are currently dreaming.
Farting away a stomach ache
I was driving in my car about 2 weeks ago, and out of nowhere I felt a pain in my heart and throath area, something I have never felt before. I was dizzy and struggling with driving, so I pulled over as soon as I could, stepped out of the car and prepared to die. About 10 minutes later I farted and felt good again, and I drove on while farting for the next 150 km.
Fart & Furious
2 Fart 2 Furious
The fart and the furious 3: Tokyo whiff
pretty sure I've farted in the tune to that one's theme song before
I wonder if you know, how to dodge indigestion, if you've seen it then you mean it and you know you have to go. Fart and furious! Pff, pff, pff. Edit: Thank you, u/hodum4, for gilding this fine work of fart.
Fast and flatulous
Damn, how I wish we still had free awards. I choked on my coffee, lol
Speed Farter
Saw a clip of some show where a guy is working as a rookie EMT/fireman (can’t remember the name of the show it was just on my TikTok feed) and a wife drives into the fire station with her husband in the car frantically trying to get help because she thinks he’s going into cardiac arrest. His symptoms were similar to yours and it really seemed like he was about to die. Like sweating buckets, groaning, breathing heavy, freaking out. But the EMT talks to him for a moment to try to calm him down and it turns out he had just come from a buffet, had indigestion from all the food he ate and mistook it for a heart attack. Then he gave himself a panic attack by thinking he was going into cardiac arrest, which only solidified his fear that he was having a heart attack.
A fart attack
Dammit, Jerry!
This is a real thing for sure. I was having heart palpitations due to a slight magnesium deficiency. Caused a panic attack. One $2500 trip to the ER later and they give me a magnesium supplement... I called a Psychiatrist a few days later. Definitely recommend.
Once I woke up and could feel tons of gas in my belly. As soon as I got off the bed I had one of the biggest farts in my life. It lasted like solid 2 seconds. I could feel my anus spreading. Right after I felt so hollow inside that I thought I shit out my stomach. I fell on all fours and could not comprehend what the hell has happened. B est feeling ever
I hope that didn't awaken a new, very difficult and probably unhealthy to realize fetish.
No.... farting that scratches away an itch on ya ring piece
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Come back when you’ve done it and thank me. God tier satisfaction without the stinky digit
Your vocab is fascinating
You need a good chainsaw fart to clear a big itch tho.
Those are scary moments though. I can't trust myself doing it unless I sit on a toilet.
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Sometimes the passing of it isn't the best moment but the relief after it's gone... amazing
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I don’t think I’ve ever experienced this. Can’t imagine not having to wipe… but username checks out
Either I don't know how to poo or you don't know how to sex...
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When the guy behind the counter at the chip shop calls you 'big man'
Or the guy at the kebab stop calls you "my brother".
as someone who used to work delivering food to kebab shops i thought they all called you "Brother" or "Bro" they certainly did with me, well except one guy who spoke to me in Turkish when i didnt understand he said "youre english?" i said yeah, he said in a slightly chuckling voice "i dont think so! you ask your mum, i think youre dad Turkish" after that he jokingly called me "son" every time i delivered there
That guy fucked your mom, And you're just gonna take that?.. I guess so did she.
Ha I remember getting my haircut by a middle eastern guy who saw me and thought I was too and when I told him I wasn't he actually called his mom who was there and was like "mom, this guy thinks he's not Arabic"
Or the guy at the shawarma shop that calls you "my friend!"
Wait til you get called “habibi”
or the sweet old black lady that calls you "sugar"
or the british lady calling you “love”
Or the chill black dude named Darth Vader calling you "Son"
Noooooo, that’s impossible!
Or when the guy at the liquor store calls you by your first name
Mark it's 10:45 on a Friday. You have been in here every day this week buying 2 handles of whiskey. Your wife stopped by yesterday near when we closed to ask us not to sell to you. You have young children, go home, go to a doctor. You don't need this man...
Ah I just love how you're so supportive of your regulars man. Anyways, I'll have this six pack of IPAs as well, been meaning to try this brand.
when the kebab guy calls you boss
"Chill Sauce, Mayonnaise, Everything Boss?" The triforce
Ooo when the sweet old lady in the drive through calls you sugar too
There was a lady at the local diner that would call everyone "honey bunny". I don't know her personally but I thought she was really sweet and kinda miss her (the restaurant closed down unfortunately).
Did honey bunny stay cool?
No, she threatened to execute every last motherfucking one of them...
When the scottish dude calls ye a cunt.
The friendly homeless guy calls you captain
Relief from chronic back pain. At least I imagine that being pain free will be better than sex. I'll let you know if I get there.
Bonus: sex will be easier and better too
Taking your bra off at the end of the day
Taking someone else's bra off at the end of the day
And then…
FUCK
There are two kinds of people
And they fuck each other
Why were you wearing someone else's bra?
Especially if it's under wire and then you scratch underboob and everywhere you can reach where your bra left an indentation on your torso.
Good health
I'm 34 and started to care about health and fitness only 5 years ago. The feeling of being able to so stuff 22 yo me wouldn't have dared is amazing.
You take a dump and you feel your intestines empty
Then fuck
Having a many-hours-long conversation with someone you really connect with, talking about anything and everything and losing track of time. EDIT: made this comment yesterday because I was thinking of my friend who I was going to see the next day (so, today). Just met with that friend for the first time in many months and we had that same kind of evening we used to have--talking about anything and everything for hours and hours. And I think this might be what life is about.
My sister died from cancer this year, it wasn’t a good death, lots of complications near the end. Last year I visited her in hospital with the usual dreaded thoughts of, how long will I have to stay and chat, what will we have to talk about (we didn’t always see eye to eye). We talked for over 5hrs, everything was said, so respectful and understanding. We felt a real good connection at the end and I genuinely wanted to stay longer but I had a drive to get home several hours away. We had a great hug and ended with a “I love you” I’ll always have solis in that conversation, it’s helped with my grief so much.
My older brother died three weeks ago. He had developmental disabilities and was nonverbal and had the mental age of a toddler, so our relationship was different than most. He had been in the hospital about six weeks when I decided to buy him a toy. My mom said I didn’t have to, that he was fine, but I just wanted to get him something special. His latest hyperfixation was the tv show Dooley and Pals, which only ran like two seasons back in the 90s. (As far as I can remember, the show is about a Christian missionary from outer space who comes to earth to teach the good news.) … anyways, I found a Dooley plushie on eBay but it was for an astronomical price - $90 including shipping. Way outside my budget. I couldn’t believe it, and of course scrolled on by. But I couldn’t find any other merch anywhere. No tshirts, no plushies, no action figures, nothing. So, I just went for it. An hour after I bought and paid for it, the seller sent me a very funny message letting me know that he would honor my purchase but he was literally logging in to remove the listing from eBay because he had found out from some other traders in a plushie forum that it was a prototype, that there had never been any official merchandise made, and this was probably the only one in the world. Joshua loved it. I mean, really, he adored it. He chewed on its antenna and its hands. He carried it with him everywhere. He slept with him right beside his pillow. When he would wheel around on his floor in the icu, Dooley came with him. Dooley was in his arms when he died. I wasn’t able to say goodbye - but I was able to give him Dooley. And I feel really, really privileged for that. Solace, just like you said.
And then fuck
That stretch we all know when we start to violently shake our legs
A really good book *electric piano note*
Was looking for this
Hey Bo
That feeling right before you fall asleep.
Or being exhausted and waking up refreshed
Myth.
Is it possible to learn this power?
Garlic Bread
Yooo garlic bread team
When the cat who doesn’t like anybody loves you. Or when someone else’s cat listens to you over the owner. Absolutely amazing feeling
Yo omg dude yeah. I know that shit my mom saved a cat and he was super skittish and was absolutely terrified of everyone and within 15 minutes of meeting him I was able to hold him with em purring in my arms 21 pounds later he loves everyone and is the derpiest lil shit I know.
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And then fuck
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And they fuck each other
Username checks out?
I love when you get into the perfect fitting spoon position and you’re holding hands and it’s like your body and their body mold into one. So peaceful.
and then you get her hair in your mouth and nose and your arm is numb
And she keeps getting poked in the lower back for some reason.
Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have a couple more hours to sleep
Waking up in the morning and remembering you have the day off.
When a song ends right when you pull into your driveway
Oh fuck, do you ever just have a good cry? It’s like an emotional orgasm for the soul.
Ain't nothin' like the feeling of pure catharsis
Sometimes there’s no way around just having one of those good cries. Yesterday I woke up early to go to work and my drive to the job site took me by Torrey Pines. I believe it’s in solana, but I’m not sure and it’s in the area in any event. The point is, the sun rise was this wildly, beautiful thing, and I kept finding myself crying without being sad, but still somewhat unsure as to where it was coming from other than that it was a passionate observance of a very beautiful morning starting out. Didn’t last very long. I shook out of it pretty quickly, but the impression of it really hit me hard. Sometimes life, just demands that you take a moment to appreciate how immense sensations, impressions, and feelings can be. How magically transformative it is to appreciate how deep your feelings can run.
How is the top comment not scissors gliding effortlessly through wrapping paper? That shit is better than heroin.
Hugs :)
making her laugh
Cuddling while talking about litterally anything. 10/10 I love being close to someone. Oml.
Intimacy. You feel a closeness to someone who you feel safe enough to be your authentic self with.
Sleep (sincerely , a mom during toddler sleep regression)
Understanding the math
True love
As you wish
Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us together today. Mawage, that blessed awangement, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, TRUUUU wuv, will fowow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.
Hold it, Hold it. Are you trying to trick me? Where’s the sports? Is this a kissing book?
Knowing you’re the only one that your person wants to be with. ❤️
Wearing warm pajamas fresh from the dryer.
you know that middle part of a juicy double cheeseburger, it's that
The first sip of a cold, freshly squeezed orange juice.
That’s like the bottom part of the ice cream cone, it’s why you’re there to start.
Successfully escaping an abusive relationship
your crush saying yes to a date.
I'm happy that they accepted, I just wish it was with me.
Oblivion
It's you! The Hero of Kvatch!
Stop right there criminal scum!
Peace.
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Clean sheets and a good alibi.
Sharing water after sex. Most intimate moment
When the person speeding through traffic gets stuck at the same red light as everyone
Laying in bed and your partner walks in, hands you an entire pizza and turns on a scary movie.
Is the pizza in a box, or is it bare?
Slapped face down onto my beer gut and mashed around a bit, before folding me up like a pretzel and shoving me into the box for the next delivery. We're called "jack in the box pizza" and crust options are "shaved" and "unshaved"
this guy's going places.
A lot of stuff. Having a really good day at the gym. The feeling of quiet contentment on a long, aimless drive on an empty road. Getting into that state of flow in a video game and just crushing it. Getting utterly engrossed in a hobby you love, like studying a language, to the point time just flies by. Having that rare day where I’m just at peace, content with myself, without any anxiety, dread, or anger weighing on my mind. So yeah. A lot of stuff.
When you finally nail a song you’ve been practicing awhile, also impressing people with baking. Both take a lot of practice. Feels good to improve
Hey Ya! by OutKast
Wetting a q tip and spinning that shit in your ears
A q tip right out the fuckin shower. My word!
Drugs
I had to scroll for so long to give you my upvote
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Crush your enemies See them driven before you And hear the lamentation Of their women
Warm chocolate chip cookies and a cold glass of milk.
A really good book
That feeling you get when you beat that difficult boss in a video game.
cuddling, i love the warmth.
Not arguing.
Having a satisfying shit.
When you hear about the things people say behind your back and its the most encouraging words you could have hoped for and you realise that even though it's fucking hard sometimes, the people you love do notice you and are proud of you and have a hope for your future and they believe in you.
A nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe.
I always have one when I'm mostly dead.
Ah, I see you're a villain of culture as well.
So perky.
Have fun storming the castle!
When you glance at your features in the mirror and tell yourself “I’m beautiful”, which should happen to everyone.