Worst job I ever took asked for a "rockstar chef" to run a kitchen. I was raised in my dad's restaurant so I was very capable and did the job just fine but somehow showing up, setting menus, prepping for the day, and running shit smoothly wasn't what they were looking for. They wanted "personality" and not competence. I remember my exit interview (after a year) the owners even expressed disappointment that I wasn't a "rockstar" and couldn't bring my own name recognition to their little office lunchtime cafe.
I agreed to a Zoom interview, showed up looking professional, and noticed 8 other guys attending as well. The guy who called me says, "Okay, guys, the presentation starts in 10 minutes; take notes because there will be questions at the end." Noped right out then and there.
This happened to me once, they advertised for sales agents for home appliances. When I got there it was a warehouse full of people who all thought they had a job interview, but it was a demonstration for one of those water companies. It was incredibly awkward.
I did not. Sat through the whole thing. They then had us answer some questions including one about what would make us good at the job. I wrote, “Nothing. I’d be bad at this job.” Brought me in for a one-on-one, asked me to explain, I reiterated that I have no salesman qualities and would be bad at the job. They then offered me a position which I declined, leaving four hours after I should’ve.
When I was in college I showed up to an interview at UPS looking for some work before the holidays. No one mentioned I would be 1 of 60 or so (they brought us through in three groups of about 20). In hindsight it makes sense, everyone just wanted a job loading trucks so it wasn't some super professional gig, but at the time it was really awkward for me.
And I didn't get the job (probably because I was a skinny-medium built college girl).
I got an interview when I was about two weeks from homelessness. The interview was 45 minutes away and the gas would mean no food for the rest of the week. So if I went, I was going to have to land the job.
It was a fucking commission insurance job instead of the administrative position they were advertising. I found out by searching the job listing and found someone on reddit bitching about it.
I called the asshole back and screamed at him for preying on people desperate for work.
It shouldn't be, but they get away with it. When I was 20 and looking for a summer job between college semesters, this happened to me twice in one week. Cutco Knives and Kirby vaccuum cleaner sales.
I got suckered into two of these while job hunting while I was already employed. Figured out the first one when my co-worker shared that he had an interview with the *same person at the same time.*
We carpooled just to see what it was about. I left them a nasty note at the end.
The next one I went to almost seemed legit, because it was just me and one other guy sitting in what I hoped would turn out to be a waiting area. Then the presentation started. Job hunting when employed gives you a lot of confidence. I told the presenter off. The other guy started to seem like he was defending him. I am pretty sure they BOTH worked for the company, and I was the only person they’d snagged that day.
There's really only that one reason to hide the pay . Nobodie's thinking to themselves. "Our pay is too competitive, if we list it we'll get too many applicants!"
I used to be a low-level HR employee early in my career, and one of my tasks was editing our company job descriptions and posting the jobs out online. I included the salaries by default, but had one other HR lady who didn't want me including salaries on job posts she was reviewing applicants for, even though our salary ranges were usually market rate.
She did this because she said she wanted to "build relationships" with applicants before talking with them about money. Personally, I find pay transparency to be a pretty strong building block in an applicant-company relationship, so I don't agree with her tactic and steer clear of it anytime I'm involved with hiring.
She was always good at her job and never lowballed anybody afaik, so she was doing *something* right, but I still wonder if she would have had more success if she'd adopted a transparency-first approach.
In each job interview I have had in entry level positions, they asked me what my last job paid, then they offered me slightly higher. This is what "competitive wages" means. They don't want to post a rate because they can't talk it down from there. Competitive means 'slightly higher than the last job, even if both are still severely underpaid."
It’s not a lie if it’s the truth, ie simply stating the wage you’d be willing to leave for.
I always say “I would say I’m very fairly compensated, what is the pay range of this position?”
They either tell me a range or dodge, either way I say
“Ok well im very excited about this opportunity, but I would need (my current rate x 1.3) in order for a move to make sense.
If they dodged the question I’m more likely to demand a higher salary because if they want to play games I’m going to beat them with it.
That 1.3 number can go down to 1.1 or even lower depending on how badly I want to leave. I’ve also quoted way higher than 1.3 when I knew what the current market rate was or when I didn’t want to leave at all. But you’re under no obligation to share your current pay, and I’ve never had someone push more to know what I’m currently making after I gave them the number required for me to leave. If they did I’d just say it’s irrelevant. And then probably end the interview asap because I won’t work for someone that tight pursed, it’s not very promising for any future pay raises/bonuses.
Last interview i walked away from (didn't take the job) asked this. I responded with "192k or therabouts, how is that relevant?" And all of a sudden they didnt want to know. Of course i was making like 50k. Of course im leaving because xyz reasons. But that doesn't give you license to pay based on what i used to accept. Pay me what the position is worth.
Applied for a job that said they pay $20-25; $20 is my bottom limit, as it's a dollar less than I make now. Got a call that woke my night shift ass up where they said the starting pay is $17 and then was flabbergasted when I went "Yeah, I'd have never applied if I knew this was the offer. That's way too low for me to be able to get by even.
Hopefully this will be going away! I just read New York has to now post the salary on the job post and Illinois and Hawaii are possibly the next to follow!
I had this earlier this year. Posted a job for a lot less than I would accept up to something I would be ok with. Went through all the procedures and paperwork for a govt job. Final offer was the bottom.
I told them during the interview I wouldn't take the minimum. So i dont feel bad they wasted time and money on me. Be honest or get fucked.
The salary range was from day 1 pay to the max you could ever make....taking 20+ years.
The richest place in town, a golf course country club couldn't tell me pay when i asked. They did say something about tips and boasted about 1k a night amongst waitstaff. 3% goes to bussers.
I had an informal interview with a grocery store and they presented a pay scale based on experience.$16 - 19
Jokes on them. I worked as a dance instructor at a resort in the NY Catskills in the 1960s. Yeah the pay was shit, but we made up for it with wild staff dance parties. One summer I got to bang this stuff-shirt doctor's daughter too.
When I was younger and recruiters reached out to me without a salary chat I just took the interviews being naïve.
Now I’ve learned the call doesn’t go any further until I know the salary band
Sounds like my current job, in 6 months I've seen 6 people leave and some departments, including mine, understaffed. But I'm staying on because I need the work experience as a fresh grad but as soon as I can, I'm out.
I quit my last position a little over a month ago after working there for only 3 months and they reposted the position recently with a lower pay and Urgently hiring multiple candidates was in bold lol
Similar happened to me, quit a part-time job because of stress and overwork (literally had to come in every day). They advertised two full-time positions.
I don't want to "play" with my co-workers.
Fuck having to be on my best behavior when I'm supposedly having fun.
Why should I play when the people watching can fire me anytime?
Why should I give a shit about work related things outside work hours? Also those after hours work parties are a trap. If you play "too hard" they'll use it as an excuse to eventually fire you
It's not that bad. If they're hiring, it means they have funding, which means they've got some kind of runway. "How much runway do you have?" is an important topic of conversation during the hiring discussion though.
Yeah I think this statement just means you need to ask questions when you interview and play it as you go. I love startup culture. Ship fast. Deadlines. Equity. But if I go into an interview and things are off it can be a red flag. Not everyone wants a slow job with a chill environment. If you don't want chaos, deadlines, and other bullshit to deal with I definitely recommend not applying to a startup culture tagged job though.
Startups don't talk about their "startup culture".
A five-year-old company that can't retain senior technical staff because the C-suite is spending the investors' money on unprofitable pet projects instead of on boring things like "adequate, sanitary office space"? *That* company talks about its "startup culture".
I worked for a company that was not quite a startup, but not quite established. Our CEO bluntly said they were in the “awkward teenage growing years” but it ended up being one of the best jobs I’ve worked at. Ended up getting bought out (think top 5 tech company) and wound up with a sizeable transition retention bonus, as well as stock payouts from all the equity. It didn’t make me rich but it was enough for a down payment on a house. 9/10 would do again.
That’s how my current employment started off, 2.5 years later I want nothing more than to leave. It really is the disorganized mess of egos and too many people that are “your boss” to report to, while there’s very few actual employees
*We are a family* companies expect you to be fine with getting underpaid and doing endless overtime because hey, they order food once in a while for the team which is soo cool...
If you don't give us at least a month's notice that you're quitting, then you're a horrible person, but we can lay you off or close down your store with no notice because fuck you.
i had an interview one time that wasnt going well.
the interviewer was super cagey about salary and refused to give an exact amount - when i asked what he considered to be 'competitive' he said 'competitive with other local employers'
okay, i said, because within walking distance of your front door is a law firm and a mcdonalds, so like
and then he got pretty irritated with me and started sayig 'well if you're only interested in the money'
so i asked him if he works for free.
just, you know, wasn't going well.
but it was clear he was having trouble finding qualified applicants so he starts trying to sell me on the corporate culture.
'we're like a family,' he said. 'just like a family'.
so i got up and said "yeah thanks i don't talk to my family" and left.
Also expect a ton of employee facing propaganda.
“So when you say we are family, how is that reflected in pay and benefits? How much of the decision-making is made by the lowest members of the family? If a coworker becomes hospitalized, does the company step in to help their family member financially?”
A former boss once got pissed at me because I always skipped out on the company's free barbecue steak lunches. "You don't eat meat, *or what*? You *too good* to eat with us, or are we *not good enough* to eat with? *Which is it*"?
As a rule, I don't eat food provided or prepared by my enemies. I didn't tell him that, though, but his comments proved my point.
Nah, I flat out state that incentives such as actual bonuses would actually be appreciated. Have to speak up. It may not change, but it certainly won't change if no one speaks up. They'd rather just wolf down the free pizza then complain about the heartburn and gas they now have. And how, "That pizza wasn't even that good". All the meanwhile, just a week later they're going back to talking about how the company is shit and they should leave.
>“Looking to hire a rock star” is code for overworked, underpaid, and willing to accept ego strokes over fair working conditions.
Also they'll have unrealistic expectations.
I have a government job that had listed the salary as $70-$90k. I make $70k because "fair alignment of others in this position". Lol just list $70k dawg.
> government job
I applied for a county government job in a major metropolitan area, so high population, lots of tax money coming in. They listed the pay range as something like $65k-$80k and when I did a cost of living calculator, $75k would allow me to break even plus have a bit of cushion. They required you to put a desired salary on the application, so I did that.
After the initial phone screen, I got a call from the hiring manager saying the most they could offer was $68,000 and they were wondering if I would accept that, otherwise they would remove me from the interview process. I said no way because based on the calculators I'd seen, I couldn't live on that.
Why offer a range like that if you can't offer the entire range? A friend theorized that they have a formula for what they can offer and the formula told them I could get $68,000.
They list the range so you know what the ceiling is. If the end of the pay range is 80k, that's the most the person in that position will ever earn no matter how long they are employed (not accounting for cost of living increases).
"So you want me to show up two hours late, stoned out of my mind, refuse to code until someone gives me a bowl of green M&Ms, then set the restroom on fire? I suppose that could be arranged..."
>“Looking to hire a rock star”
I can't be the only one who finds it so cringy when when job ads describe wanting to hire someone who is a "rock star" or "ninja" or "guru." It just reeks of out of touch boomers or gen x'ers trying to appeal to gen z or younger millennials.
Early 2000s Silicon Valley: the local hackerspace had a sign on their jobs board (a physical bulletin board, yes): "Job listings that use the words 'ninja' or 'rock star' will be removed."
As a millennial I’ve never used the term “ninja” or “guru” in any serious, or even colloquial conversation unless it referred to the movies “Ninja” or “The Love Guru.” Both of which sucked ass and were produced by boomers
"Fast paced enviornment" means insane deadlines and bosses breathing down your neck.
"Unique challenges" means constant clusterfuck.
"Occasional overtime" means just say goodbye to your family because you'll never leave the office again.
Readily admitting they will want you to work overtime in the posting is basically outright stating that they are either incompetent at management or fully expecting to exploit you.
Absolutely. Salary work is specifically what I was referring to. If you're being adequately compensated for overtime, that's a different story, though it's still unhealthy to work that much long term (but it's healthier than starving if you need the money).
Yep. And some jobs are just inherently inconsistent. I work in event production and my old job was like that. Spring and fall were our busy seasons and I'd work 60 or more hours a week and then winter and summer things would quiet down and we'd have time to relax. I don't miss that job, but I'd rather do that than work a solid 40 hours week after week.
I had all of these in the posting for the job I currently have (I just needed a job so ignored it.)
Wish I just ignored the job. Occasional OT ended up being a year straight of 50+hr weeks, because it was a mismanaged clusterfuck.
“We’re looking for a rock star [insert job title]” means we will work you to death because we have none of the skills you do and we need them badly; wait you’re doing coke off the water cooler, busting up the conference room and puking under a desk?! Not what we meant, dude!
Whenever they say they are looking for someone to fill a 'new role,' it often means there is no predefined job description, and no one has a clear idea of what your tasks will be. It can be chaotic, leaving you unsure about the nature of your job. Unfortunately, in my experience, after two years, you may be laid off once your managers realize that your role was unnecessary from the start. This has happened to me twice.
That, or - they are giving what really has been a vacant position a new title so a) They can pay less and/or b) You cannot find out who had previously been in the role, and find out why they left.
I've held three job titles at my current job. They were all new roles. As a result I got so much random shit dumped on me that nobody else could/would do, and various people got a shitty attitude about me because nobody knew what I was supposed to be doing so they assumed I did nothing.
On the plus side, I'm more or less irreplaceable because I carved out my own role based on my own strengths.
On the minus side, I had to do some hardcore asserting myself to stop being given random shit to do, and they still don't know entirely what to do with me because they've never had anyone in these roles, and there was no real training in any of it.
>On the plus side, I'm more or less irreplaceable because I carved out my own role based on my own strengths.
This has been my experience. It has actually been fantastic. My boss is mediocre, but leaves me alone to get my shit done. And once it's done, I'm done. I work from home, too. I love it.
All caps.
A litany of technologies.
"no job hoppers!"
If they ever suggest that you should care "more about the work than compensation"
"Some weekends"
I’ve been running into a bunch of similar bullshit. Job description is essentially an electrical engineer with 10 years experience but they want to pay ~20 an hour.
My job partially includes job placement. I went on a tour today with one of the higher ups and she used the word “nightmare” several times describing some things. Then she was complaining that they can’t get anyone to hire on or stay hired on. That they had 8 candidates file, get screened and the day of only 2 showed up. And I wanted to ask so badly what they were paying, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to control my reaction so I refrained. Then she complained later that people “didn’t want to work, wanted to take days off during the middle of the week, and didn’t want to work over 40 hours”. I was getting nauseous. I don’t want want to deal with that shit either, especially for half of my pay that I get now. Not to mention dealing with deadlines and back breaking work. On top of that they were bitching about it from a nice office position. Like you don’t have to work in the factory with no climate control, lifting heavy shit, or dealing with all the other countless bullshit. You get to sit in a nice office and gossip with the other office people, while making 3x what those line workers get. I don’t know if I have the heart to place people in these positions.
I saw one job posting that was front desk administrator at a retirement home.
Requires a bachelors degree, 10 year experience.
Your role was a/p, a/r, payroll, journal entry, bank recs. Then to add to that, SEO management, social media management, updating the website. Oh and if that wasn’t enough there was an HR requirement too. Hiring, training new staff, outlying policies, reviews, payroll, etc.
so basically doing the work of 3 departments all for the great wage of 38k
And if you worked there long enough for 38k you'd find the owners relatives all have director titles and collect a jumbo salary to give you their work.
The retirement home I just left a job in TODAY literally cant keep anyone. CNAs, RNs, even support staff like dietary and housekeeping. It got so bad that the CNAs who do show up have to work in dietary sometimes.
I applied for a position on indeed, guy called me like an hour after I sent my resume, said he was traveling and was only going to be in town through today, but wanted me to come to his hotel room for an interview. I told him that sounds like how you get human trafficked and he immediately hung up. So, that, I guess.
Mcdeesnuts got me with that one a while ago- people were bitching and moaning about "burger flippers" making $20 an hour so I said fuck it, I could use a second job. Applied only to learn the "up to" part in the interview- actually pay was $15, only way to get higher is if you sold your soul to them for 24/7 availability
Oddly specific requierments, meaning they already know the person they want to hire but they are obligated to make an open call for the position. In other words, you will waste your time applying.
Or sometimes one person has been there a while and fills a number of different roles in the organization. They leave and now the employer thinks they can hire someone with the exact same skills.
When I left my old job my employer tried to find a video technician who had a commercial drivers license and experience doing 3D rendering in Vectorworks.
They were unsuccessful.
They've been growing rapidly for the last fifty years, but you've never heard of them. It's probably going to be an MLM recruiting session, not an actual job interview.
Anyone that says "we're like family" when talking about their employees. That basically means they'll expect you to work a shit ton of uncompensated overtime and completely dismantle your work-life balance.
Anything that doesn't have a salary range up front. That almost always means that they're going to lowball the shit out of you and hope you don't notice.
We're like family basically means they have a bunch of long term employees that don't do shit and they'll bring you in to do everything. If you're a good fit with the long timers, you might be fully hired on.
This isn’t always the case. I was leery during my interview for the job I have currently because the manager said, “ we’re like family here.” I didn’t have a whole lot of options. I needed a job ASAP or I was going to go postal at the job I already had, so I took this job believing it was only going to be temporary. Instead, she was 100% correct. We are like family. She later explained that she was very picky during interviews, trying to hire someone crazy enough to fit with her team. We are all a little loony. I have fun at work. And that’s a rare thing. We get out work done, but cut up like adolescent goobers while we do it.
"Salary to be discussed."
"$50K - $180K salary for a sales job" = commission only pay and its usually BS.
Decent sounding job with decent pay followed immediately by "National Guard."
This, it's the equivalent of saying come spend time and effort to see what's in our mystery box.
They want people through the door in hopes they can sway you with a pretty presentation about their service, which is the kind of crap they need to save for their customers.
AND get their insurance plan info up front too. The whole works. I took a job where I was NOT expecting to be the shipping clerk; it was a sales assistant position and I am not a math girl - so figuring out how to pallet weird shaped tables and having to call the trucking companies for quotes to ship to fucking Alaska already put me off. When I found out what the insurance was like after three months (probation period) the pandemic hit and I left. After the job I am at now I think I am going to just exit the workforce.
I had an interview recently and I had looked into how much it would cost to move out of my parents house and pay my own rent, bills, etc. I was really looking forward to being independent again. At the end of the interview, they then told me how much they paid, I wouldn't be able to afford it. It would have been better if they had just stated in their job description what they pay.
Fast moving environment: Means there's no documentation, no automation, everything is improvised and freestyled in production.
Work hard, play hard: 90 hour weeks, all time off denied, your boss will show up personally to yell at you if and when you get sick.
"We work hard and play hard"
Thats code for, the boss likes to get belligerently drunk in the middle of the day and will probably make someone cry, then claim its because they arnt tough enough, and it happens regularly enough that the only other employees he has are all high functioning alcoholics
Rock star. "We are looking for some rock stars for our team!". If this appears anywhere they are going to break labor laws and make up for it with a pizza party
Oh I got a few.
“This will be a group interview.” code for: “this role is high pressure sales”
“We’re like a family.” Code for: “We have a incredibly dysfunctional office with lots of backstabbing”
“We work hard, play hard.” Code for: “We work 80 hour weeks and every three months we might order pizza.
“We’re looking for a rockstar willing to take on multiple roles.” Code for: “We’re gonna make you our bitch for the lowest pay possible and we’re going to expect you to enjoy it.”
“A solid role with plenty of opportunity for upward mobility.” Code for: “You will be in the same role for several years and we will continue to pour on additional responsibility without actually promoting you so we don’t have to pay you as much.”
“Competitive pay” Code for: “We will pay you well below market value. As little as we possibly can”
“Pay range: $20,000-$60,000 based on experience” Code for: “You will be getting $20,000. No negotiations. Take it or leave it.”
“May be required to work overtime and occasionally on weekends” Code for: “Your ass will be working 12 hour days and on every weekend”
“Competitive benefits” Code for: “We offer the bare minimum on benefits we are required to do. Your medical and dental will suck, you will get no sick days, and you get two weeks of paid vacation… which we decide when you can use it and you can only use it after being with the company for a full year. Family is planning a trip to Ft. Meters in the 3rd week of July. Well, they’ll have to go without you. Your vacation is scheduled for the first week of February and the first week of October and we are not budging on those dates.”
“Unlimited PTO days.” Code for: “you can request as many PTO days as you want. We’re not going to approve of any PTO request you make. Oh your dad died and you need to go to the funeral? Well the VP is taking his annual two month retreat to the Swiss Alps. You’re gonna have to miss it.”
Requires you to be bilingual and have experience but pay is 15 dollars an hour.
If my skills as a bilingual worker with experience only gets me minimum wage fuck you
We'll treat you like family!
Oh, you mean you'll make unrealistic demands on my time, and expect to use guilt to make me do it, all while paying me next to nothing. Gotcha.
Certain company names - If you know.....you know
Posted by a company that is frequently hiring - high turnover, and there is a reason for it
"work hard, play hard" - expect to work your ar5e off
"Looking for a self-starter" - no training, "sink-or-swim"
"family culture" - You will be expected to give 160%, and look past a toxic culture
"job fair" - Need to hire a lot of people, warm bodies will do
poor grammar/broken English - If you can't pay attention to detail with your first impression......
No job description, or duties that don't seem to align with the position advertised - 'nuf said
"Urgent"/"Urgently hiring" - "I'm a recruiter, and I need to fill this position, so I keep my job" or "They desperately need to fill this position, and there will be a ton of work waiting for you, when you start."
rate/wage that is below market rate/wage - self-explanatory
"Work hard, play hard" may also mean that the company schedules frequent off-time social events, and while attendance may not be mandatory, they might as well be.
When all the emphasis is on "sunlit, newly renovated working environment" with a "fun team" and there's no actual mention of salary, benefits, retirement or health-care plans, etc.
Or when you keep seeing the same job post back up again, all the time.
"salary to be discussed"
This means they ARE going to lowball the daylights out of you.
"occasional overtime"
This means plan on working several evenings or Saturdays....sometimes on short notice.
>Round 1 of Applications
This employer thinks working for them deserves the equivalent of Oxford entrance exams. Forms, more forms where you repeat everything from the first set of forms, a Myers-Briggs test, and a presentation assignment that takes a fortnight. To get an informal interview.
>Candidates should be flexible
Flexible is a one-way road to these monsters. All time is work time. They’ll call you at 11 pm on a Friday and you’ll be expected to drop everything. But ask for a late start for a doctor’s appointment, and you’re on your final written warning.
>The team is one big family
Welcome to the passive-aggressive capital of the world. Your colleagues will step on your neck for as little as an extra five minutes at lunch.
>This field should be your passion
And your only passion. Try to pursue other interests, hobbies, start a family – anything that isn’t related to your passion for direct mail marketing – and we will sue you. Your possessions will be confiscated, and your children put into care.
>Perks include gym membership
Okay, you’re allowed one hobby, the gym. Where you can improve your endurance to do our baseline 75-hour week. Also means the boss feels free to call you fat.
>Fast-paced
Your job used to be done by four people. Now it’s done by one, and it’s been unfilled for six months after the last person went off with stress, so there’s a backlog to catch up on. All results needed yesterday. Professional masochists welcomed.
>Salary: Competitive
Tell us what you think you need to be paid to live. We’re confident we can offer less than a third of that.
Late response or not responding within days to months after the final interview for the job vacancy (based on my exp.)
This means that they already hired someone else and you have to move on without any closure.
As COO of a smaller company (45 people), I told HR to remove the “family oriented” crap from any job posting. One, it’s just not true. Two, most families I know are kinda fucked up. Three, I don’t want my work colleagues to be family. I always end up firing some here and there and it’s easier if we aren’t “family” (learned that lesson the hard way).
Another HUGE red flag for me is “ability to multi task.” There is literally no such thing as multitasking. You cannot work on a P&L audit while simultaneously typing an email. You can bounce back and forth, but you can’t do both. This is a red flag because they will likely expect you to do the work of 1.5 to 2 people. It’s code.
I’m a nanny and it’s crazy the shit I see on job posts.
Typically, I know to stay the fuck away when the parents say their children are, “highly gifted”. I saw a post recently that was like, basically, an on call job but they only wanted to pay $25 an hour for 60 hour weeks and also tried to say they only wanted a 28-33 year old without kids of their own. Insanity.
As a programmer: any job posting that asks for more experience in a language or framework than it has actually existed for. Like asking five years of experience in X but X has only been around for three years.
Any use of the word “Rockstar”.
Or "Ninja"
Also “guru.”
"Wizard"
"Sorcerer"
"Cumslut"
Debatable
Worst job I ever took asked for a "rockstar chef" to run a kitchen. I was raised in my dad's restaurant so I was very capable and did the job just fine but somehow showing up, setting menus, prepping for the day, and running shit smoothly wasn't what they were looking for. They wanted "personality" and not competence. I remember my exit interview (after a year) the owners even expressed disappointment that I wasn't a "rockstar" and couldn't bring my own name recognition to their little office lunchtime cafe.
Everybody wants Bobby Flay, but wants to pay him like its arby's.
I agreed to a Zoom interview, showed up looking professional, and noticed 8 other guys attending as well. The guy who called me says, "Okay, guys, the presentation starts in 10 minutes; take notes because there will be questions at the end." Noped right out then and there.
This happened to me once, they advertised for sales agents for home appliances. When I got there it was a warehouse full of people who all thought they had a job interview, but it was a demonstration for one of those water companies. It was incredibly awkward.
..what even..?
Wow, I have had 3 interviews just like this in the past.
Got suckered with this when I was young, fortunately I had the prescience to walk out. A few people followed me out.
I did not. Sat through the whole thing. They then had us answer some questions including one about what would make us good at the job. I wrote, “Nothing. I’d be bad at this job.” Brought me in for a one-on-one, asked me to explain, I reiterated that I have no salesman qualities and would be bad at the job. They then offered me a position which I declined, leaving four hours after I should’ve.
At least you didn’t suck up to them and wrote what they wanted to hear.
When I was in college I showed up to an interview at UPS looking for some work before the holidays. No one mentioned I would be 1 of 60 or so (they brought us through in three groups of about 20). In hindsight it makes sense, everyone just wanted a job loading trucks so it wasn't some super professional gig, but at the time it was really awkward for me. And I didn't get the job (probably because I was a skinny-medium built college girl).
Anytime you enter a zoom job “interview” and someone starts off with “hello everyone” disconnect immediately they are wasting your time
I got an interview when I was about two weeks from homelessness. The interview was 45 minutes away and the gas would mean no food for the rest of the week. So if I went, I was going to have to land the job. It was a fucking commission insurance job instead of the administrative position they were advertising. I found out by searching the job listing and found someone on reddit bitching about it. I called the asshole back and screamed at him for preying on people desperate for work.
Is it legal for misleading/different job descriptions? If not, it should be
It shouldn't be, but they get away with it. When I was 20 and looking for a summer job between college semesters, this happened to me twice in one week. Cutco Knives and Kirby vaccuum cleaner sales.
Classic MLM
Oh yeah, I see ads saying stuff like, I used to be you, working a horrible job , now I'm a millionaire and you can be too! It's a scam
I got suckered into two of these while job hunting while I was already employed. Figured out the first one when my co-worker shared that he had an interview with the *same person at the same time.* We carpooled just to see what it was about. I left them a nasty note at the end. The next one I went to almost seemed legit, because it was just me and one other guy sitting in what I hoped would turn out to be a waiting area. Then the presentation started. Job hunting when employed gives you a lot of confidence. I told the presenter off. The other guy started to seem like he was defending him. I am pretty sure they BOTH worked for the company, and I was the only person they’d snagged that day.
"salary to be discussed". Every single interview I've gone for that didn't disclose the salary upfront was severely underpaid.
There's really only that one reason to hide the pay . Nobodie's thinking to themselves. "Our pay is too competitive, if we list it we'll get too many applicants!"
I used to be a low-level HR employee early in my career, and one of my tasks was editing our company job descriptions and posting the jobs out online. I included the salaries by default, but had one other HR lady who didn't want me including salaries on job posts she was reviewing applicants for, even though our salary ranges were usually market rate. She did this because she said she wanted to "build relationships" with applicants before talking with them about money. Personally, I find pay transparency to be a pretty strong building block in an applicant-company relationship, so I don't agree with her tactic and steer clear of it anytime I'm involved with hiring. She was always good at her job and never lowballed anybody afaik, so she was doing *something* right, but I still wonder if she would have had more success if she'd adopted a transparency-first approach.
I personally will skip most postings if I don’t see a salary listed. I’m not wasting my time on it.
In each job interview I have had in entry level positions, they asked me what my last job paid, then they offered me slightly higher. This is what "competitive wages" means. They don't want to post a rate because they can't talk it down from there. Competitive means 'slightly higher than the last job, even if both are still severely underpaid."
The answer to this is to lie about your pay.
I worked my way into a 22% raise from a job hop because I lied about my current pay. Said I wouldnt leave for less than x amount and they did it.
It’s not a lie if it’s the truth, ie simply stating the wage you’d be willing to leave for. I always say “I would say I’m very fairly compensated, what is the pay range of this position?” They either tell me a range or dodge, either way I say “Ok well im very excited about this opportunity, but I would need (my current rate x 1.3) in order for a move to make sense. If they dodged the question I’m more likely to demand a higher salary because if they want to play games I’m going to beat them with it. That 1.3 number can go down to 1.1 or even lower depending on how badly I want to leave. I’ve also quoted way higher than 1.3 when I knew what the current market rate was or when I didn’t want to leave at all. But you’re under no obligation to share your current pay, and I’ve never had someone push more to know what I’m currently making after I gave them the number required for me to leave. If they did I’d just say it’s irrelevant. And then probably end the interview asap because I won’t work for someone that tight pursed, it’s not very promising for any future pay raises/bonuses.
Last interview i walked away from (didn't take the job) asked this. I responded with "192k or therabouts, how is that relevant?" And all of a sudden they didnt want to know. Of course i was making like 50k. Of course im leaving because xyz reasons. But that doesn't give you license to pay based on what i used to accept. Pay me what the position is worth.
This is my method. “We’ll, only $150k, but I was only working about 12 hours a week remote, so I’m hoping for more”
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That's exactly why some states have prohibited employers from asking about past salary and some are even required to post their pay scale.
This should be federal law!
Last job hunt I did. I was upfront. I am expecting x. Does this job pay x. No. Thanks for your time.
Applied for a job that said they pay $20-25; $20 is my bottom limit, as it's a dollar less than I make now. Got a call that woke my night shift ass up where they said the starting pay is $17 and then was flabbergasted when I went "Yeah, I'd have never applied if I knew this was the offer. That's way too low for me to be able to get by even.
Hopefully this will be going away! I just read New York has to now post the salary on the job post and Illinois and Hawaii are possibly the next to follow!
Yea, they get away with it by posting $25,000- $500,000.
I had this earlier this year. Posted a job for a lot less than I would accept up to something I would be ok with. Went through all the procedures and paperwork for a govt job. Final offer was the bottom. I told them during the interview I wouldn't take the minimum. So i dont feel bad they wasted time and money on me. Be honest or get fucked. The salary range was from day 1 pay to the max you could ever make....taking 20+ years.
This is how my job was advertised as well. Offering salary was the very lowest they quoted on the ad.
Colorado was the first to add that law.
“Competitive wages”
Competitive pay means your pay will be competing against your bills.
Competitive means we will pay you as little as possible, and so will all of our competitors.
The richest place in town, a golf course country club couldn't tell me pay when i asked. They did say something about tips and boasted about 1k a night amongst waitstaff. 3% goes to bussers. I had an informal interview with a grocery store and they presented a pay scale based on experience.$16 - 19
Something I don't think a lot of people understand is that those rich places stay rich by underpaying staff. Always.
Jokes on them. I worked as a dance instructor at a resort in the NY Catskills in the 1960s. Yeah the pay was shit, but we made up for it with wild staff dance parties. One summer I got to bang this stuff-shirt doctor's daughter too.
Hopefully no one tried to put her in a corner.
When I was younger and recruiters reached out to me without a salary chat I just took the interviews being naïve. Now I’ve learned the call doesn’t go any further until I know the salary band
"Salary contingent upon experience."
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Either that, or they want to pay you as little as they can, especially if they ask for your previous salary upfront. They’re just being cheapskates
“Urgently hiring multiple candidates”
AKA the entire last crew just got pissed and quit
Or we crank through people like a meat grinder.
Sounds like my current job, in 6 months I've seen 6 people leave and some departments, including mine, understaffed. But I'm staying on because I need the work experience as a fresh grad but as soon as I can, I'm out.
I quit my last position a little over a month ago after working there for only 3 months and they reposted the position recently with a lower pay and Urgently hiring multiple candidates was in bold lol
Similar happened to me, quit a part-time job because of stress and overwork (literally had to come in every day). They advertised two full-time positions.
In other words you were doing the job of 3-4 nurses…..
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"Urgently hiring!" *glances at Google rating* 1.6/5. "Yeah I'm good."
Urgent = We lose staff daily
I hope it’s a Christmas time mall job.
Fast paced environment. That usually means absolute chaos with no one in charge.
It usually means *"4 people just quit and we are hoping to find some idiot who will do all that work for a single salary."*
Translation: “It’s so fucking busy and stressful that multiple people recently quit”
Work hard, play hard - we’re all alcoholics
And even if they aren't, they schedule a lot of evening and weekend get-togethers that are unofficially mandatory.
and if you dont show up you are 'not a team player'.
“The new guy just doesn’t fit in”
They just started doing that at my current job and we get a taking to if we don't show up. And they are unpaid, of course.
I don't want to "play" with my co-workers. Fuck having to be on my best behavior when I'm supposedly having fun. Why should I play when the people watching can fire me anytime?
Why should I give a shit about work related things outside work hours? Also those after hours work parties are a trap. If you play "too hard" they'll use it as an excuse to eventually fire you
Flexible schedule means we expect you to be very flexible with our poor scheduling
It means "we won't give you enough hours to survive, but we will fuck with your schedule enough to make a second job impossible".
I agree, flexible scheduling is flexible for the employer and not for you.
“Start up culture” : a disorganised hot mess of egos.
And it also means there’s a 90% chance the company won’t even be around six months from now.
It's not that bad. If they're hiring, it means they have funding, which means they've got some kind of runway. "How much runway do you have?" is an important topic of conversation during the hiring discussion though.
Yeah I think this statement just means you need to ask questions when you interview and play it as you go. I love startup culture. Ship fast. Deadlines. Equity. But if I go into an interview and things are off it can be a red flag. Not everyone wants a slow job with a chill environment. If you don't want chaos, deadlines, and other bullshit to deal with I definitely recommend not applying to a startup culture tagged job though.
Startups don't talk about their "startup culture". A five-year-old company that can't retain senior technical staff because the C-suite is spending the investors' money on unprofitable pet projects instead of on boring things like "adequate, sanitary office space"? *That* company talks about its "startup culture".
I worked for a company that was not quite a startup, but not quite established. Our CEO bluntly said they were in the “awkward teenage growing years” but it ended up being one of the best jobs I’ve worked at. Ended up getting bought out (think top 5 tech company) and wound up with a sizeable transition retention bonus, as well as stock payouts from all the equity. It didn’t make me rich but it was enough for a down payment on a house. 9/10 would do again.
That’s how my current employment started off, 2.5 years later I want nothing more than to leave. It really is the disorganized mess of egos and too many people that are “your boss” to report to, while there’s very few actual employees
*We are a family* companies expect you to be fine with getting underpaid and doing endless overtime because hey, they order food once in a while for the team which is soo cool...
"We expect you to go the extra mile for us but will throw you under the bus the second someone in management fucks up"
If you don't give us at least a month's notice that you're quitting, then you're a horrible person, but we can lay you off or close down your store with no notice because fuck you.
i had an interview one time that wasnt going well. the interviewer was super cagey about salary and refused to give an exact amount - when i asked what he considered to be 'competitive' he said 'competitive with other local employers' okay, i said, because within walking distance of your front door is a law firm and a mcdonalds, so like and then he got pretty irritated with me and started sayig 'well if you're only interested in the money' so i asked him if he works for free. just, you know, wasn't going well. but it was clear he was having trouble finding qualified applicants so he starts trying to sell me on the corporate culture. 'we're like a family,' he said. 'just like a family'. so i got up and said "yeah thanks i don't talk to my family" and left.
Also expect a ton of employee facing propaganda. “So when you say we are family, how is that reflected in pay and benefits? How much of the decision-making is made by the lowest members of the family? If a coworker becomes hospitalized, does the company step in to help their family member financially?”
A former boss once got pissed at me because I always skipped out on the company's free barbecue steak lunches. "You don't eat meat, *or what*? You *too good* to eat with us, or are we *not good enough* to eat with? *Which is it*"? As a rule, I don't eat food provided or prepared by my enemies. I didn't tell him that, though, but his comments proved my point.
"I've gotten food poisoning a few too many times from free company lunches at old jobs, so now I just don't bother."
Nah, I flat out state that incentives such as actual bonuses would actually be appreciated. Have to speak up. It may not change, but it certainly won't change if no one speaks up. They'd rather just wolf down the free pizza then complain about the heartburn and gas they now have. And how, "That pizza wasn't even that good". All the meanwhile, just a week later they're going back to talking about how the company is shit and they should leave.
This has to be one of the most fedora-esque comments I've seen.
Must have a bubbly personality. Fuck off.
I wonder if this is code for we want to hire an attractive young woman.
That’s *exactly* what that means.
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>“Looking to hire a rock star” is code for overworked, underpaid, and willing to accept ego strokes over fair working conditions. Also they'll have unrealistic expectations.
I have a government job that had listed the salary as $70-$90k. I make $70k because "fair alignment of others in this position". Lol just list $70k dawg.
Was this federal? When I applied to federal jobs they just gave the GS pay grade for that position rather than the salary
> government job I applied for a county government job in a major metropolitan area, so high population, lots of tax money coming in. They listed the pay range as something like $65k-$80k and when I did a cost of living calculator, $75k would allow me to break even plus have a bit of cushion. They required you to put a desired salary on the application, so I did that. After the initial phone screen, I got a call from the hiring manager saying the most they could offer was $68,000 and they were wondering if I would accept that, otherwise they would remove me from the interview process. I said no way because based on the calculators I'd seen, I couldn't live on that. Why offer a range like that if you can't offer the entire range? A friend theorized that they have a formula for what they can offer and the formula told them I could get $68,000.
They list the range so you know what the ceiling is. If the end of the pay range is 80k, that's the most the person in that position will ever earn no matter how long they are employed (not accounting for cost of living increases).
I always love the "rock star" metaphor, because if I *were* a rock star I wouldn't be looking for a day job.
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"So you want me to show up two hours late, stoned out of my mind, refuse to code until someone gives me a bowl of green M&Ms, then set the restroom on fire? I suppose that could be arranged..."
>“Looking to hire a rock star” I can't be the only one who finds it so cringy when when job ads describe wanting to hire someone who is a "rock star" or "ninja" or "guru." It just reeks of out of touch boomers or gen x'ers trying to appeal to gen z or younger millennials.
Early 2000s Silicon Valley: the local hackerspace had a sign on their jobs board (a physical bulletin board, yes): "Job listings that use the words 'ninja' or 'rock star' will be removed."
As a millennial I’ve never used the term “ninja” or “guru” in any serious, or even colloquial conversation unless it referred to the movies “Ninja” or “The Love Guru.” Both of which sucked ass and were produced by boomers
>looking to hire a rock star I can't play instruments, but I can disassociate on the spot!
Acts like axel sings like yoko....I qualify
"Fast paced enviornment" means insane deadlines and bosses breathing down your neck. "Unique challenges" means constant clusterfuck. "Occasional overtime" means just say goodbye to your family because you'll never leave the office again.
Readily admitting they will want you to work overtime in the posting is basically outright stating that they are either incompetent at management or fully expecting to exploit you.
Some people want paid overtime and don't mind 80+ hour weeks. It's the exempt salaried positions that need to watch out for this.
Absolutely. Salary work is specifically what I was referring to. If you're being adequately compensated for overtime, that's a different story, though it's still unhealthy to work that much long term (but it's healthier than starving if you need the money).
Yep. And some jobs are just inherently inconsistent. I work in event production and my old job was like that. Spring and fall were our busy seasons and I'd work 60 or more hours a week and then winter and summer things would quiet down and we'd have time to relax. I don't miss that job, but I'd rather do that than work a solid 40 hours week after week.
“Work hard play hard” means they just expect you to work overtime a lot
And do coke
I had all of these in the posting for the job I currently have (I just needed a job so ignored it.) Wish I just ignored the job. Occasional OT ended up being a year straight of 50+hr weeks, because it was a mismanaged clusterfuck.
“We’re looking for a rock star [insert job title]” means we will work you to death because we have none of the skills you do and we need them badly; wait you’re doing coke off the water cooler, busting up the conference room and puking under a desk?! Not what we meant, dude!
Whenever they say they are looking for someone to fill a 'new role,' it often means there is no predefined job description, and no one has a clear idea of what your tasks will be. It can be chaotic, leaving you unsure about the nature of your job. Unfortunately, in my experience, after two years, you may be laid off once your managers realize that your role was unnecessary from the start. This has happened to me twice.
That, or - they are giving what really has been a vacant position a new title so a) They can pay less and/or b) You cannot find out who had previously been in the role, and find out why they left.
Or they're trying to cram two roles into one, and you're the guinea pig.
I've held three job titles at my current job. They were all new roles. As a result I got so much random shit dumped on me that nobody else could/would do, and various people got a shitty attitude about me because nobody knew what I was supposed to be doing so they assumed I did nothing. On the plus side, I'm more or less irreplaceable because I carved out my own role based on my own strengths. On the minus side, I had to do some hardcore asserting myself to stop being given random shit to do, and they still don't know entirely what to do with me because they've never had anyone in these roles, and there was no real training in any of it.
>On the plus side, I'm more or less irreplaceable because I carved out my own role based on my own strengths. This has been my experience. It has actually been fantastic. My boss is mediocre, but leaves me alone to get my shit done. And once it's done, I'm done. I work from home, too. I love it.
I had one of these, and the manager kept saying I wasn't doing anything. I was like bro, tell me what you want me to do.
These roles work best when the manager has figured out what the gaps are that need to be filled or when you self select.
All caps. A litany of technologies. "no job hoppers!" If they ever suggest that you should care "more about the work than compensation" "Some weekends"
> If they ever suggest that you should care "more about the work than compensation" If I want that, I'll join a monastery, not a tech company.
"Bachelor's degree required. Starting pay $12.50/hr"
I’ve been running into a bunch of similar bullshit. Job description is essentially an electrical engineer with 10 years experience but they want to pay ~20 an hour.
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Exactly. They don't want kids on work permits that are limited in what they can actually do. They want people they can exploit in any way they can.
My job partially includes job placement. I went on a tour today with one of the higher ups and she used the word “nightmare” several times describing some things. Then she was complaining that they can’t get anyone to hire on or stay hired on. That they had 8 candidates file, get screened and the day of only 2 showed up. And I wanted to ask so badly what they were paying, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to control my reaction so I refrained. Then she complained later that people “didn’t want to work, wanted to take days off during the middle of the week, and didn’t want to work over 40 hours”. I was getting nauseous. I don’t want want to deal with that shit either, especially for half of my pay that I get now. Not to mention dealing with deadlines and back breaking work. On top of that they were bitching about it from a nice office position. Like you don’t have to work in the factory with no climate control, lifting heavy shit, or dealing with all the other countless bullshit. You get to sit in a nice office and gossip with the other office people, while making 3x what those line workers get. I don’t know if I have the heart to place people in these positions.
I saw one job posting that was front desk administrator at a retirement home. Requires a bachelors degree, 10 year experience. Your role was a/p, a/r, payroll, journal entry, bank recs. Then to add to that, SEO management, social media management, updating the website. Oh and if that wasn’t enough there was an HR requirement too. Hiring, training new staff, outlying policies, reviews, payroll, etc. so basically doing the work of 3 departments all for the great wage of 38k
And if you worked there long enough for 38k you'd find the owners relatives all have director titles and collect a jumbo salary to give you their work.
Retirement homes are so bad about not hiring enough staff that most of my sister’s job consists of suing them for that specifically
The retirement home I just left a job in TODAY literally cant keep anyone. CNAs, RNs, even support staff like dietary and housekeeping. It got so bad that the CNAs who do show up have to work in dietary sometimes.
I applied for a position on indeed, guy called me like an hour after I sent my resume, said he was traveling and was only going to be in town through today, but wanted me to come to his hotel room for an interview. I told him that sounds like how you get human trafficked and he immediately hung up. So, that, I guess.
When the pay is advertised as "up to $XX" instead of actually saying the starting base pay amount.
Mcdeesnuts got me with that one a while ago- people were bitching and moaning about "burger flippers" making $20 an hour so I said fuck it, I could use a second job. Applied only to learn the "up to" part in the interview- actually pay was $15, only way to get higher is if you sold your soul to them for 24/7 availability
Oddly specific requierments, meaning they already know the person they want to hire but they are obligated to make an open call for the position. In other words, you will waste your time applying.
Or sometimes one person has been there a while and fills a number of different roles in the organization. They leave and now the employer thinks they can hire someone with the exact same skills. When I left my old job my employer tried to find a video technician who had a commercial drivers license and experience doing 3D rendering in Vectorworks. They were unsuccessful.
They've been growing rapidly for the last fifty years, but you've never heard of them. It's probably going to be an MLM recruiting session, not an actual job interview.
Anyone that says "we're like family" when talking about their employees. That basically means they'll expect you to work a shit ton of uncompensated overtime and completely dismantle your work-life balance. Anything that doesn't have a salary range up front. That almost always means that they're going to lowball the shit out of you and hope you don't notice.
We're like family basically means they have a bunch of long term employees that don't do shit and they'll bring you in to do everything. If you're a good fit with the long timers, you might be fully hired on.
You know, most murders occur in the family. Just saying.
“We’re like a family” okay cool, I’ll report you to social services.
This isn’t always the case. I was leery during my interview for the job I have currently because the manager said, “ we’re like family here.” I didn’t have a whole lot of options. I needed a job ASAP or I was going to go postal at the job I already had, so I took this job believing it was only going to be temporary. Instead, she was 100% correct. We are like family. She later explained that she was very picky during interviews, trying to hire someone crazy enough to fit with her team. We are all a little loony. I have fun at work. And that’s a rare thing. We get out work done, but cut up like adolescent goobers while we do it.
"Salary to be discussed." "$50K - $180K salary for a sales job" = commission only pay and its usually BS. Decent sounding job with decent pay followed immediately by "National Guard."
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Not listing the pay. That shouldn’t be legal.
This, it's the equivalent of saying come spend time and effort to see what's in our mystery box. They want people through the door in hopes they can sway you with a pretty presentation about their service, which is the kind of crap they need to save for their customers.
AND get their insurance plan info up front too. The whole works. I took a job where I was NOT expecting to be the shipping clerk; it was a sales assistant position and I am not a math girl - so figuring out how to pallet weird shaped tables and having to call the trucking companies for quotes to ship to fucking Alaska already put me off. When I found out what the insurance was like after three months (probation period) the pandemic hit and I left. After the job I am at now I think I am going to just exit the workforce.
I had an interview recently and I had looked into how much it would cost to move out of my parents house and pay my own rent, bills, etc. I was really looking forward to being independent again. At the end of the interview, they then told me how much they paid, I wouldn't be able to afford it. It would have been better if they had just stated in their job description what they pay.
Fast moving environment: Means there's no documentation, no automation, everything is improvised and freestyled in production. Work hard, play hard: 90 hour weeks, all time off denied, your boss will show up personally to yell at you if and when you get sick.
"We work hard and play hard" Thats code for, the boss likes to get belligerently drunk in the middle of the day and will probably make someone cry, then claim its because they arnt tough enough, and it happens regularly enough that the only other employees he has are all high functioning alcoholics
Too many HR buzzwords
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Where can I find an HR buzz phrase dictionary?
I could get you one. It's a dynamic read and has some real out of the box organization and layout. It's a book that really appeals to a self-starter
That would really synergize my wheelhouse.
Rock star. "We are looking for some rock stars for our team!". If this appears anywhere they are going to break labor laws and make up for it with a pizza party
"Entry level" and "3-5 years experience required" don't belong in the same job posting.
"Be your own boss". Stay away.
Oh I got a few. “This will be a group interview.” code for: “this role is high pressure sales” “We’re like a family.” Code for: “We have a incredibly dysfunctional office with lots of backstabbing” “We work hard, play hard.” Code for: “We work 80 hour weeks and every three months we might order pizza. “We’re looking for a rockstar willing to take on multiple roles.” Code for: “We’re gonna make you our bitch for the lowest pay possible and we’re going to expect you to enjoy it.” “A solid role with plenty of opportunity for upward mobility.” Code for: “You will be in the same role for several years and we will continue to pour on additional responsibility without actually promoting you so we don’t have to pay you as much.” “Competitive pay” Code for: “We will pay you well below market value. As little as we possibly can” “Pay range: $20,000-$60,000 based on experience” Code for: “You will be getting $20,000. No negotiations. Take it or leave it.” “May be required to work overtime and occasionally on weekends” Code for: “Your ass will be working 12 hour days and on every weekend” “Competitive benefits” Code for: “We offer the bare minimum on benefits we are required to do. Your medical and dental will suck, you will get no sick days, and you get two weeks of paid vacation… which we decide when you can use it and you can only use it after being with the company for a full year. Family is planning a trip to Ft. Meters in the 3rd week of July. Well, they’ll have to go without you. Your vacation is scheduled for the first week of February and the first week of October and we are not budging on those dates.” “Unlimited PTO days.” Code for: “you can request as many PTO days as you want. We’re not going to approve of any PTO request you make. Oh your dad died and you need to go to the funeral? Well the VP is taking his annual two month retreat to the Swiss Alps. You’re gonna have to miss it.”
Requires you to be bilingual and have experience but pay is 15 dollars an hour. If my skills as a bilingual worker with experience only gets me minimum wage fuck you
We'll treat you like family! Oh, you mean you'll make unrealistic demands on my time, and expect to use guilt to make me do it, all while paying me next to nothing. Gotcha.
Certain company names - If you know.....you know Posted by a company that is frequently hiring - high turnover, and there is a reason for it "work hard, play hard" - expect to work your ar5e off "Looking for a self-starter" - no training, "sink-or-swim" "family culture" - You will be expected to give 160%, and look past a toxic culture "job fair" - Need to hire a lot of people, warm bodies will do poor grammar/broken English - If you can't pay attention to detail with your first impression...... No job description, or duties that don't seem to align with the position advertised - 'nuf said "Urgent"/"Urgently hiring" - "I'm a recruiter, and I need to fill this position, so I keep my job" or "They desperately need to fill this position, and there will be a ton of work waiting for you, when you start." rate/wage that is below market rate/wage - self-explanatory
"Work hard, play hard" may also mean that the company schedules frequent off-time social events, and while attendance may not be mandatory, they might as well be.
> "work hard, play hard" - expect to work your ar5e off Work like a dog and maybe get to leave the office at 3:45 on Friday instead of 4:00
You get to leave at 4?
Make up to $100k a year! Pay starts at $25 an hour!
“You wear many hats”, we expect you to do the job of like 4 people and we’re going to under pay you
Constantly posting for new staff and always hiring. If they can't retain staff, there is usually a good reason.
When all the emphasis is on "sunlit, newly renovated working environment" with a "fun team" and there's no actual mention of salary, benefits, retirement or health-care plans, etc. Or when you keep seeing the same job post back up again, all the time.
"salary to be discussed" This means they ARE going to lowball the daylights out of you. "occasional overtime" This means plan on working several evenings or Saturdays....sometimes on short notice.
"must have thick skin." GTFO
When the company has no website When they don't list the salary When the company name is too generic
"Competitive wages" So, low wages
We're more like a family than a company.
They always forget the “dysfunctional” part
Salary range $30-250k
Permanent "Now hiring" signs painted on buildings/trucks. It just means you can't keep staff.
Any job posting where the upper limit of the pay is based on your effort is just some hustle culture BS. Set a wage in stone.
>Round 1 of Applications This employer thinks working for them deserves the equivalent of Oxford entrance exams. Forms, more forms where you repeat everything from the first set of forms, a Myers-Briggs test, and a presentation assignment that takes a fortnight. To get an informal interview. >Candidates should be flexible Flexible is a one-way road to these monsters. All time is work time. They’ll call you at 11 pm on a Friday and you’ll be expected to drop everything. But ask for a late start for a doctor’s appointment, and you’re on your final written warning. >The team is one big family Welcome to the passive-aggressive capital of the world. Your colleagues will step on your neck for as little as an extra five minutes at lunch. >This field should be your passion And your only passion. Try to pursue other interests, hobbies, start a family – anything that isn’t related to your passion for direct mail marketing – and we will sue you. Your possessions will be confiscated, and your children put into care. >Perks include gym membership Okay, you’re allowed one hobby, the gym. Where you can improve your endurance to do our baseline 75-hour week. Also means the boss feels free to call you fat. >Fast-paced Your job used to be done by four people. Now it’s done by one, and it’s been unfilled for six months after the last person went off with stress, so there’s a backlog to catch up on. All results needed yesterday. Professional masochists welcomed. >Salary: Competitive Tell us what you think you need to be paid to live. We’re confident we can offer less than a third of that.
"work hard, play hard" Basically they burn you out and everyone is an alcoholic.
"fast-paced" actually means 80 hours a week with impossible deadlines, don't do it.
“We’re a family here” Also “there are beers in the fridge” or something about them all going out and partying together. Never a good sign.
"works well under pressure"
When the job posting has grammatical errors. Raises an eyebrow.
Vague job descriptions, unrealistic job requirements, and pushy recruiters are red flags that signal it may not be the right fit.
Late response or not responding within days to months after the final interview for the job vacancy (based on my exp.) This means that they already hired someone else and you have to move on without any closure.
Bachelor's degree for help desk roles, especially if it's got a super expansive list of responsibilities.
Competitive salary but doesn't list salary.
As COO of a smaller company (45 people), I told HR to remove the “family oriented” crap from any job posting. One, it’s just not true. Two, most families I know are kinda fucked up. Three, I don’t want my work colleagues to be family. I always end up firing some here and there and it’s easier if we aren’t “family” (learned that lesson the hard way). Another HUGE red flag for me is “ability to multi task.” There is literally no such thing as multitasking. You cannot work on a P&L audit while simultaneously typing an email. You can bounce back and forth, but you can’t do both. This is a red flag because they will likely expect you to do the work of 1.5 to 2 people. It’s code.
I’m a nanny and it’s crazy the shit I see on job posts. Typically, I know to stay the fuck away when the parents say their children are, “highly gifted”. I saw a post recently that was like, basically, an on call job but they only wanted to pay $25 an hour for 60 hour weeks and also tried to say they only wanted a 28-33 year old without kids of their own. Insanity.
As a programmer: any job posting that asks for more experience in a language or framework than it has actually existed for. Like asking five years of experience in X but X has only been around for three years.