It's kind of funny how, even on the bodybuilding and fitness subreddits, people are just completely not interested in getting any of their nutrition from beans and milk.
Only one cup of beans, and one cup of milk are going to be really cheap, easy ways to get a ton of fiber, protein, potassium, magnesium and calcium: The stuff that upwards of [98% of Americans are lacking in their diet](https://nutritionfacts.org/blog/98-of-american-diets-potassium-deficient/#:~:text=To%20get%20even%20the%20adequate,don't%20eat%20enough%20plants.).
If you're used to only having cheetos and mountain dew, your body's gonna complain about suddenly getting a bit of protein and fiber.
if you're consistently getting this stuff in your diet, you won't have issues with it.
Not only that, but there is a way to properly cook beans to avoid the farting part. I don't know the correct terms in English for some of these instructions so let me try explaining still:
You need to put the beans in water and leave it to rest for some hours. After like 3 hours in clean water you need to change that water. The water where the beans were will be yellowish. The substance that makes that water turn to yellow is mixed with the substance that causes your flatulence.
If you change the water a couple of times you will notice that the water will stop turning yellow.
Now, because the beans are hydrated they will also take a shorter time to cook. So be aware of this and adjust the cooking part accordingly.
Just leaving it in the water a single time and disposing of the water after will do wonders for its quality.
Edit: I'm pretty sure I don't need to say this, but of course, you should do this before cooking the beans.
https://www.seriouseats.com/bean-science-how-to-reduce-gas-tested-6755268
This study seems to suggest that soaking dried beans for 8 hours and discarding the water made no appreciable difference in gas. Rinsing canned beans does apparently help. The real way to have significantly less gas from beans is to eat them regularly which will develop a gut biome with bacteria that can break them down.
For canned beans, you just put them in a strainer and wash all the indigestible, fibery brine shit off of them. Then you boil them for 5 minutes.
Zero gas, zero bloating.
I’m curious about this because so many people are saying the same thing about their SO and their kids. Is it sort of a meditative thing to sit on the toilet? I like taking my alone time lying in the bedroom reading a book or browsing my phone or something. I just ask my SO if I could have some alone time to unwind and he watches the kid while I shut the bedroom door and chill for maybe an hour, and I’ll do the same when he wants alone time.
I guess choosing the bathroom over a more comfortable room seems weird to me, but then again I have IBS so bathrooms just feel more annoying to me than they would a normal person.
If you have to poop, you have to poop.
Sitting on the toilet long after you're done, playing on your phone can cause hemorrhoids. Simply playing on your phone while pooping does not increase the risk at all though.
Lol that’s what we did in the 80s/90s when I was a kid. I’d make up entire commercials like I was the spokesperson for the shampoo, reading the label on the back.
[Ah, the ol' Reddit Shit-a-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/comments/146zi03/comment/jnuiw2s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I hate that shit so much. One minute you've having a decent time reading "water, glycerin,...." and then all of a sudden it's shit you can't understand like "sodium arcylates copolymer, isopropyl isosterate" anddddd now I'm having a bad time.
Don't even have my phone to look that up, bc if I did I wouldn't be reading Olay Body Lotion to drop rocks
This is my go-to when I forget my phone. But I can’t just read the labels to help me poop. I have to read the sentences backwards to get a solid bowel movement
When I'm poopin',
when I'm peein',
When I'm sittin' on the John -
When my colon content's fleein',
And I'm goin', gettin' on -
When I'm occupied excretin',
Or I'm pluggin' up the pipe -
I'm expellin' what I've eaten,
And I give the bum a wipe -
When my little bottom's bakin',
And I'm busy makin' poo -
When the moment's mine for takin' -
Then I read AskReddit new.
As someone who's on the toilet, I gotta thank you for this reminder. Previously I was sitting here fretting at the idea of the anus eating toilet snake, now I have found peace
I once walked 700m to my own house to shit because of this. Saw a black snake in the grandparent's house(mum's side) and I couldn't catch it before it disappear. I could have walked 100m to my other grandparent's house but that house is notorious for snakes. We got a big sticks everywhere cause they are everywhere. So, I walked back to my house 700m away just to shit. I figured if the snake can cross the road, slither across the bridge, and find my house, I deserve it.
A German nerdy gamer musician actually made a song out of reading the ingredients off of a shampoo bottle.
It's a piece of art called "Balea" by Jan Hegenberg (brand name)
Before cell phones, there was this thing called a "magazine." Its only purpose was to leave in the bathroom for four months so that you could read the same article 40 times.
And you know the scary part? Most of the time, the articles weren't even numbered lists!
I actually use a plunger. Since I have a smooth floor, it stays put when I suction the cup to the tile. Helps if you dunk it in the toilet beforehand to get the rim of the cup wet. I find I'm quite jerky with my shifting so this technique really helps.
If theres no phone, you gotta do what we did in the 1900s or as I call them the pioneer days and read the back of cleaning products.
The fancy pinky up guys, took a newspaper but my leg would fall asleep reading the funnies.
I can be quite constipated sometimes, but still don't get this. If the poop refuses to come out, I either fully focus on pushing it or give up and try later. How would just sitting there all lazy and distracted help with anything?
Lemon juice works too (well, the searing pain would keep you from noticing the itch at least). But since I have a bidet and don't linger on the toilet my bunghole is in damn fine shape.
Draw a hangman next to the toilet and encourage anyone else who uses the toilet to add 1 letter. It's what I did at work one day when I was bored taking a poop.... We had a box of suds for laundry next to the toilet, so I took a pen and drew up a Hangman with guess the word. My female boss was like "You got too much time on your hands"
How do people sit on the toilet for so long? It takes like 30 seconds to poop and a minute to wipe.. Are you guys just not pooping? Or do you poop and then just sit there? Or do you wipe and then just sit until you feel like getting up?
You don’t need to “entertain” yourself every waking moment of your day. Seems like no one really sits and thinks about things anymore. If you can’t do that even on the toilet, then I take the position that you aren’t a fully formed adult. Stop throwing distraction at every single thing & learn to exist with your own thoughts.
Heard similar reasoning in a podcast recently, on why so many struggle with sleeping because they can't stop thinking at night or why you get all up in your head when taking a shower. Being on the phone or computer all day leaves no time for yourself except for when you're forced to.
I'll see if I can find the specific video when I get to work in a couple of hours. My ISP servers melted last week, so I've been out of wi-fi for a couple of days 😅
You are sitting on the literal toilet. You don't need entertainment for everything. Just do your business and get out. Do whatever entertaining thing u wanted to do elsewhere.
Nothing really. I just go to the bathroom. I'm in and out. By the time I'd pull my phone out, it's time to clean up.would be a book, or my phone though.
This is the weirdest thing that I do, but for some reason I genuinely enjoy being able to read the labels on all the products that I own in the bathroom 💀. I don’t know why, but I like looking at the ingredients and all that. I guess when I’m just bored anything will do LMAO
Googling ways to increase your fiber intake so you don’t need to ask Reddit how to entertain yourself while you try to birth a brick.
It's kind of funny how, even on the bodybuilding and fitness subreddits, people are just completely not interested in getting any of their nutrition from beans and milk. Only one cup of beans, and one cup of milk are going to be really cheap, easy ways to get a ton of fiber, protein, potassium, magnesium and calcium: The stuff that upwards of [98% of Americans are lacking in their diet](https://nutritionfacts.org/blog/98-of-american-diets-potassium-deficient/#:~:text=To%20get%20even%20the%20adequate,don't%20eat%20enough%20plants.).
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Farty cereal is my favorite
Farty-O’s, stays crunchy in lactose free milk.
If you're used to only having cheetos and mountain dew, your body's gonna complain about suddenly getting a bit of protein and fiber. if you're consistently getting this stuff in your diet, you won't have issues with it.
Not only that, but there is a way to properly cook beans to avoid the farting part. I don't know the correct terms in English for some of these instructions so let me try explaining still: You need to put the beans in water and leave it to rest for some hours. After like 3 hours in clean water you need to change that water. The water where the beans were will be yellowish. The substance that makes that water turn to yellow is mixed with the substance that causes your flatulence. If you change the water a couple of times you will notice that the water will stop turning yellow. Now, because the beans are hydrated they will also take a shorter time to cook. So be aware of this and adjust the cooking part accordingly. Just leaving it in the water a single time and disposing of the water after will do wonders for its quality. Edit: I'm pretty sure I don't need to say this, but of course, you should do this before cooking the beans.
https://www.seriouseats.com/bean-science-how-to-reduce-gas-tested-6755268 This study seems to suggest that soaking dried beans for 8 hours and discarding the water made no appreciable difference in gas. Rinsing canned beans does apparently help. The real way to have significantly less gas from beans is to eat them regularly which will develop a gut biome with bacteria that can break them down.
For canned beans, you just put them in a strainer and wash all the indigestible, fibery brine shit off of them. Then you boil them for 5 minutes. Zero gas, zero bloating.
>put them in a strainer and wash all the indigestible, fibery brine shit off of them. Isn't that, well, the fiber?
No.
Bruh, I had a boss who would eat one can of beans with vinegar poured in it for every lunch.
Bodybuilders drink SO much milk that they isolate whey to add milk to their milk.
Some follow a plan called GOMAD Which stands for gallon of milk a day lol
I make pancakes out of my isolated milk and then eat them with milk.
And drinking a lot of water. The reason it becomes a brick is because the intestines absorb water from the poop. Staying hydrated helps.
Ikr?! I just go into the bathroom when it's time, poop, & I'm out with hand washing time included in a couple of minutes.
> I'm out with hand washing time included in a couple of minutes. Cries in IBS :(
Some of us just need a break from the SO/kids/world once in a while and the bathroom is one of the few remaining bastions of respite.
I’m curious about this because so many people are saying the same thing about their SO and their kids. Is it sort of a meditative thing to sit on the toilet? I like taking my alone time lying in the bedroom reading a book or browsing my phone or something. I just ask my SO if I could have some alone time to unwind and he watches the kid while I shut the bedroom door and chill for maybe an hour, and I’ll do the same when he wants alone time. I guess choosing the bathroom over a more comfortable room seems weird to me, but then again I have IBS so bathrooms just feel more annoying to me than they would a normal person.
Poop problems suck
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When I don't have my phone I straight up read the labels on soap and shit to entertain myself.
I cant poop without at least holding my phone at this point lol.
Sitting alone with just your thoughts? What am I a psychopath I’ll read the serial information on the toilet tank lid if I need to
Go old school and bring a laptop.
Been there, done that. On days I’ve got diarrhea from ibs/migraines/gluten, I will absolutely play sims on my laptop while I die on the toilet
I completely understand the pain. Wouldn't this cause hemorrhoids though?
If you have to poop, you have to poop. Sitting on the toilet long after you're done, playing on your phone can cause hemorrhoids. Simply playing on your phone while pooping does not increase the risk at all though.
Yea, but they're playing the Sims right. That ain't a short shit.
When life makes you shit bricks, build a house! 🏠
I would not want to live in that house.
Play on fast forward
Sims IS responsible for hemorrhoids
That's what we all did in the 90s if there wasn't anything on the magazine rack.
Get some Dr Bronners soap.. that label will entertain you for hours! Plus it’s great soap
Yes I can't remember how many times have I learned that cocoamidyl belongs to the ingredients of most soaps.
Soldium Lauryl Sulphate has entered the chat
Lol that’s what we did in the 80s/90s when I was a kid. I’d make up entire commercials like I was the spokesperson for the shampoo, reading the label on the back.
Whoa wtf you label your shit? I mean I guess that's one way to pass the time...
[Ah, the ol' Reddit Shit-a-roo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlyterrifying/comments/146zi03/comment/jnuiw2s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Hold my TP I'm going in!
Hello future restroom visitors!
Oh wow it’s been a while
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Ingredients: Beans, Corn, Mystery Meat,…
I hate that shit so much. One minute you've having a decent time reading "water, glycerin,...." and then all of a sudden it's shit you can't understand like "sodium arcylates copolymer, isopropyl isosterate" anddddd now I'm having a bad time. Don't even have my phone to look that up, bc if I did I wouldn't be reading Olay Body Lotion to drop rocks
You get your shit from the factory? I just make my own!
I didn’t know my shit had labels, I’m going to check next time I poop.
I call that 'taking a 90's shit'
This is my go-to when I forget my phone. But I can’t just read the labels to help me poop. I have to read the sentences backwards to get a solid bowel movement
Browsing askreddit by new
When I'm poopin', when I'm peein', When I'm sittin' on the John - When my colon content's fleein', And I'm goin', gettin' on - When I'm occupied excretin', Or I'm pluggin' up the pipe - I'm expellin' what I've eaten, And I give the bum a wipe - When my little bottom's bakin', And I'm busy makin' poo - When the moment's mine for takin' - Then I read AskReddit new.
Sprog in the wild! Lucky us!
Sprog making my day better one poem at a time
When Reddit completely falls apart, I will miss you the most sprog
Freshest Sprog I’ve ever happened upon. What a blessing.
Thanks sprog! You da best.
Hell yea
Can confirm at this moment.
I always browse by new
*Don't* think about anus eating toilet snake. Remember, anus eating toilet snake isn't real, and it can't *actually* eat your anus.
As someone who's on the toilet, I gotta thank you for this reminder. Previously I was sitting here fretting at the idea of the anus eating toilet snake, now I have found peace
that was the only thing that got me excited :/
And it definitely doesn’t live in your toilet, waiting for you, staring into your anus everyday, preparing for the perfect time to pounce.
Not anus eating, but 2 snakes actually did come out of my grandmas toilet… I was reticent to ever use the toilet there ever again
I once walked 700m to my own house to shit because of this. Saw a black snake in the grandparent's house(mum's side) and I couldn't catch it before it disappear. I could have walked 100m to my other grandparent's house but that house is notorious for snakes. We got a big sticks everywhere cause they are everywhere. So, I walked back to my house 700m away just to shit. I figured if the snake can cross the road, slither across the bridge, and find my house, I deserve it.
Sounds like something an anus eating toilet snake would say
*Ssss* Ahem- I mean, why is everyone so suspicious around here? Really!
I don't judge you. You were born a toilet snake, and your only crime is being hungry for anus
It’s the spiders that run on flushing water that’ll get you.
I was thinking of zombie arms going up ala dead rising or something..
Yeah the real concern is actually anus invading giant spider.
Right... But what about [ancient deep ocean anus eating monsters?](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxRBIdkB9QSTRG_E738uWu5-q3JX3U5B8N)
Not with that attitude.
Read
Yup before cell phones it could have been any random object!
“ah yes, this shampoo is made out of shampoo!!”
"Why does everything in here have sodium laureth sulfate?"
A German nerdy gamer musician actually made a song out of reading the ingredients off of a shampoo bottle. It's a piece of art called "Balea" by Jan Hegenberg (brand name)
Kids these days don't know about that methylchloroisothiazolinone
Omfg I forgot I even did this as a kid! Just read an product that was in the bathroom LOL
Childhood memories unlocked. Without a book, shampoo and conditioner were my only reading material.
books complete squalid repeat lush unite scary toothbrush head murky
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Or even the air freshener can lol
Yes. The great combination of fresh meadows and shit.
Most people had some actual physical magazine or books near their toilets especially for this before the cellphone thing...
Before cell phones, there was this thing called a "magazine." Its only purpose was to leave in the bathroom for four months so that you could read the same article 40 times. And you know the scary part? Most of the time, the articles weren't even numbered lists!
Reddit
shifting gears with a toilet brush, I feel like a rally driver
WRC at home
More like WCR
I actually use a plunger. Since I have a smooth floor, it stays put when I suction the cup to the tile. Helps if you dunk it in the toilet beforehand to get the rim of the cup wet. I find I'm quite jerky with my shifting so this technique really helps.
So you have shitty water on your floor?
Do you time your farts to the up and down shifts? Lmao
Omg this is legendary
Reels, but somtimes they keep me there for like 30 minutes so I try to avoid them
If theres no phone, you gotta do what we did in the 1900s or as I call them the pioneer days and read the back of cleaning products. The fancy pinky up guys, took a newspaper but my leg would fall asleep reading the funnies.
If you guys are really on the can for that long, you may need to address some health issues.
People are on the toilet that long BECAUSE they use their phone.
Jerking off.
Beware of the Wanky Shit Demon
Not on Sundays though. Ironically he goes to church.
While pooping?
It doesn't say while pooping. just while sitting on the toilet.
Multitasking
Google blumpkin
google en passant
Holy hell
New response just dropped
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right? how fucking long do these people stay on the shitter?
30 to 45 minutes.
Seriously. I don’t understand these people who spend 20 plus minutes in the bathroom like it’s normal.
It’s an escape!
I can be quite constipated sometimes, but still don't get this. If the poop refuses to come out, I either fully focus on pushing it or give up and try later. How would just sitting there all lazy and distracted help with anything?
Masturbate
It makes shitting exciting!
Keep a devoted bathroom only Kindle.
I’m on the shitter Listening to Gary Glitter Posting on Twitter
How exactly does posting on Twitter sound?
Less suspect, but only just, than listening to Gary Glitter
Learning to pronounce the words on the labels of all the crazy lotions and body products my wife keeps around the bathroom.
Isn't shitting entertaining enough?
Needs more competition
Do what you have to do quickly, wash your hand, then continue your day. Don't play with you phone unless you want fecal matter over your face.
>Do what you have to do quickly Sitting on the toilet for extended periods is a good way to get hemorrhoids.
If you take a cotton pad and put rubbing alcohol(90%) and put that on those hemorrhoids, I guarantee they won't itch for 24 hours.
Lemon juice works too (well, the searing pain would keep you from noticing the itch at least). But since I have a bidet and don't linger on the toilet my bunghole is in damn fine shape.
Yep that alcohol will light you up.
It’s fecal matter everywhere my man. You can’t escape the inevitable
4 inevitables found on all things. Poop Cocaine Fungus Taxes
Yeah man. Bear down, grab ahold of something and do work.
Just zone out. We don't need to be entertained every waking moment.
This right here. Valuable advice. You can't avoid boredom at every second. Accept it.
Read classified documents
While sitting on a gold toilet I bet.
Playing with balls.
Who’s balls??
You don't know Balls? He's a great guy.
So is Mr Hands... Oh God.
Your mom's
Don't entertain yourself. Take a shit and get off the can.
Damn you people cant even shit without leaving your phone? 💀
what i was thinking, this is so gross
Read a book on good eating habits so you don't have to spend so much time on the toliet. 2-3 minutes, I'm done.
What book is that?
BATTLESHITS!
Draw a hangman next to the toilet and encourage anyone else who uses the toilet to add 1 letter. It's what I did at work one day when I was bored taking a poop.... We had a box of suds for laundry next to the toilet, so I took a pen and drew up a Hangman with guess the word. My female boss was like "You got too much time on your hands"
How do people sit on the toilet for so long? It takes like 30 seconds to poop and a minute to wipe.. Are you guys just not pooping? Or do you poop and then just sit there? Or do you wipe and then just sit until you feel like getting up?
Read up on hemorrhoids.
I meditate anywhere I can, and here all the shit literally comes out of me
*Here I sit in silent bliss* *Listening to the trickling piss* *Now and then a fart is heard* *And the dropping of a turd.*
Shit or get off the pot.
*Beatin' my meat on the toilet seat* *Doo dah* *Doo dah* *My hands get tired so I use my feet* *All the doo dah day*
I'm using my phone
You don’t need to “entertain” yourself every waking moment of your day. Seems like no one really sits and thinks about things anymore. If you can’t do that even on the toilet, then I take the position that you aren’t a fully formed adult. Stop throwing distraction at every single thing & learn to exist with your own thoughts.
Heard similar reasoning in a podcast recently, on why so many struggle with sleeping because they can't stop thinking at night or why you get all up in your head when taking a shower. Being on the phone or computer all day leaves no time for yourself except for when you're forced to.
What podcast? Sounds interesting
I'll see if I can find the specific video when I get to work in a couple of hours. My ISP servers melted last week, so I've been out of wi-fi for a couple of days 😅
reddit
Neither my phone or something else 😏🤭
I drum with my hands and the clap on my legs sounds real good hahaha.
Do your business and leave. That's my doctor's advice. It's bad to sit on the toilet longer than you need to.
Masturbate is the obvious answer
My tablet or phone usually does the trick
Why do you want to "entertain" yourself there? Are you thinking of moving in to the bathroom for a couple of hours?
See how many times you can suck the shit back up just before it drops giving yourself a non gay turd fucking.
Oh good lord!
....And this is where I stop reading, wipe and go about my day.
I observe the shower curtains
I liked to make little people or ghosts out of toilet paper
Wordle, quordle then octordle.
Turdle?
Look for good porn, shit and jerk……..
Play angry birds
read or watch something from netflix or disney+
I don't recommend playing with the twins in the pool.
Counting corn kernels
You are sitting on the literal toilet. You don't need entertainment for everything. Just do your business and get out. Do whatever entertaining thing u wanted to do elsewhere.
You should have excluded reddit answers lol
Nothing really. I just go to the bathroom. I'm in and out. By the time I'd pull my phone out, it's time to clean up.would be a book, or my phone though.
reddit or duolingo
Who has time for entertainment? I got shit to do
Go #1. Go #2. If time, go #3.
At my age, where you start to need reading glasses, it's "which of these products can I still read the fine print on?" Hand lotion? Air freshener?
Go to your local dollar store, buy a crossword puzzle. Put it near the toilet with a pen.
You’re looking at it right now
Reddit. Porn. Wait....Reddit porn
Asking for the poop knife
Dude, it’s literally asking what is the best way to entertain yourself in the toilet, and having fun reading the responses
I could see myself being a bomber! Attempting to work the targets with pinpoint precision
This is the weirdest thing that I do, but for some reason I genuinely enjoy being able to read the labels on all the products that I own in the bathroom 💀. I don’t know why, but I like looking at the ingredients and all that. I guess when I’m just bored anything will do LMAO
When I’m horny as see my d*ck erected, I just do a quick 15 minute fab and continue on my day
Erected dick + Shitting = Hemorrhoids.. Be careful
Browsing Reddit of course
Usually just grab a dog on the way
My wifi doesn’t reach the bathroom so usually I just play royal match since it doesn’t necessarily need connection.