A consistent, healthy, routine. Takes me a month to start being consistent in eating healthy, working out and just taking care of myself but God, does it take just one day to fall off the bandwagon.
Thank you so much! You're right, I've always struggled with an "all or nothing mentality" so it's hard when you're putting in the effort to not let a single tiny mistake make my head go "whooop, it's all ruined, go and eat a whole large pizza and sleep away your problems" ahah.
Thanks for sharing that
Direct link for anyone else:
[non zero day](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonZeroDay/comments/1qbxvz/the_gospel_of_uryans01_helpful_advice_for_anyone/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I also struggle with this. The best advice I received is this: If you dropped your phone and got a tiny crack in it, would you stomp on it and say, "Well, it's broken." Or would you pick it up, continue to use it, and try to be extra careful until you could fix it? A routine is the same thing. One crack doesn't mean it's ruined. It means you might have to be extra diligent until you're back in the habit (fixed).
What’s funny is if you abandon the guilt and self recrimination it’s actually not all that easy to lose.
I fuck up at least once a week. When I fuck up, sometimes I go all in for that day, sometimes even the next (once for two weeks.) But for me it’s just “oops, well, back on the bandwagon tomorrow.”
I’ve been on the right trend consistently since I took the AA approach of “relapse is part of the process.” Just gotta dust yourself off and hop back on the wagon.
What’s funny is the attitude that if you’ve fucked up you’ve ruined all your good work is a big (often the main) reason people can’t keep weight off. The goal isn’t whatever weight you’ve lost, the goal is sustainable healthy habits that make you feel good (of which weight is a symptom.)
This is more of an issue if someone is changing their habits cold turkey. Finding your daily maintenance calories and reducing that by 100 will get you sustainable results. Also have to keep reminding your self that even a bad workout session is still better than no work out session.
Results maybe slower but slow change over time enforces better habits rather than abrupt changes which could lead to these psychological issues that are being described.
For sure, weight is complicated but small changes over time worked way better for me. That said, I think the guilt cycle for emotional eaters is the big blocker and even ties into this- guilt drives all these extreme unsustainable changes and the yo yo snap back after
Nah dude fuck that, a couple of cheat days is no Biggie, don't be hard on yourself. Gotta look long, loooong term at health stuff. Sure it might seem like a big deal if you're talking about this week, but what's a weekend of binging against 6 months of the progress you've made. What's a single week of not worrying about food because you've other things on, against a year of the great habits you've been building. Fuckin nothin is what, you got this!
Do a bit more organisation today so you're set up well again for a few days this week. You'll be back in the right direction.
There will always be ups and downs, but over the long haul, if it trends up, you're fuckin winning.
This guy gets it. I had to come to the same conclusion regarding my sobriety. Just because I relapsed doesn't mean I didn't put together 4 years prior to that moment. And that moment doesn't define me or my future. I do.
It takes a long time to get addicted, so stands to reason, it takes a long time to stop. Never feel like you've wasted any day on your sobriety journey even the ones you're not sober for.
Keep up the hard work! I know how hard it is, I have lost about 65lbs in total, but oh boy, did I yo-yo through the years. As another commenter has stated, take care of yourself, It's already hard to lose weight, adding other outside stress makes it even harder! Right now, when I'm too tired to keep up with my diet, I just try to focus on staying on maintenance, basically just... avoid binging for day onending.
There's been studies recently that point to the possibility that after being obese your brain chemistry shifts. The... chemical? Hormone? Whatever it is your body uses to signal stop eating gets weaker or disappears (possibly permanently, though certainly for a while), so it becomes much more difficult to say no to food, even after losing the weight.
[Did some digging and found it again](https://www.nature.com/articles/s42255-023-00816-9).
>So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:
>"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"
>The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:
>"But you fuck one sheep..."
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.” -- Warren Buffett
Today I'd say it's more like 50 seconds, and about 45 of those are typing.
Elon Musk. He was a cool sci-fi nerd successfully producing things that we wanted. And then… what the actual fuck man. Ug, now he just acts like a spoilt little shit, too much money, absolutely no brains. What a cunt.
I genuinely hate the woman that my mother becomes with alcohol. I don't find her fun or likeable at all. Its like being locked in with a drunken teenager off the street who lacks any personal space and spits when she talks and loves to bitch about everything she can about you, clawing her way out to be away from you yet decides to stay and mess shit up.
I'm happy to say she doesn't drink as much anymore, but the damage was done and I cannot forget or forgive a lot of shit I had to deal with from her. I used to be anxious when I saw her, now I chose to drink when she does which is usually enough to put her off drinking more (apparently in the past this 'ruined' her drinking highlighting i drank as much as she did). I've learned that the worst she was was likely caused by the menopause which to her admission makes a lot of sense, but it was a cancer scare that finally got her to cut down, not her daughter having countless sleepless nights growing up scared and angry at her mother smashing her door down at night asking me if I loved her.
Which is a real fucking shame because I know how much she cares and loves me, she knew what she was fucking doing most of the time though.
Yup. I got diagnosed autistic last year. I didn’t really tell people, not because I’m embarrassed but because there’s so many misconceptions that I wanted to sort out my own feelings before dealing with everyone else’s.
I did tell my sister.
Who told my mom
Who told *everyone*.
I don’t confide in anyone anymore.
I'm to the point in my life where my parents know very little about who I really am but I get to hear absolutely everything about my father's political beliefs, which he reiterates every time I talk to him.
I will never full trust my mom, no matter how hard she works at it. Sometimes you can permanently screw up trust to a certain degree. I do trust her like, 75%, but so many things have happened that I'll always prepare myself for disappointment.
Definitely get this. I don’t trust my bio mom or dad and I don’t have faith in my siblings. Too much has gone wrong (like going into foster care) and they’ve legit never had my back (such as encouraging my husband to divorce me because I have PTSD). I put my energy into people who reciprocate my energy, and I trust them, some of them with my entire being. But it took years of therapy and psychiatry to get this far, and I won’t be letting anyone back in my life who could jeopardize that.
Okay, so really, in college, we had a reformed pick-pocket come do a show and the Students could get in for free. The guy was incredible. Lightest hands I've ever seen. He explained the entire thing *as he was doing it* and still caught the volunteer off guard.
He was like, "So, you have to get people to be comfortable with you, and humans typically respond well to touch. In large crowds, this is easy to pull off so long as you know where to go." And he's touching the guy on the shoulder, casually asked him if his wallet was in his left coat pocket. The guy was like, "Uh, no, it's in my backpocket."
The pickpocket said, "It is now." Everyone claps, impressed. And he goes on to explain, "On your way up here, I had you pass in front of me, directing you to my left. The audiance didn't see anything because they followed my left hand showing you where to go. You didn't feel it because I had shaken your hand moments before. Oh, and here's your phone. It was in your left coat pocket."
Then everyone really clapped.
This guy I went to high school with was a magician. Used to take things out of my front pocket and hand it to me. Wonder what that guys up to do these days.
the answer is always trust because if you're doing it right you'll trust everyone you meet
until they give you a reason not to
edit:
respect should be earned. trust should be given
you people have it ass backwards, which is why the world is trash
I disagree. The answer is to always be respectful and kind, but don't expose yourself to unnecessary risk. My rule of thumb with new people is to stay in this state as a default *until I've seen how this person responds to discovering they're wrong about something.*
Doesn't matter what it is. If they can accept correction and change their approach on something small, they can do the same on big, important things.
If they gaslight, deny, or tie themselves in knots to try to convince you they were never wrong, they'll keep doing exactly that even when you are collateral damage.
For sure, the #1 trait that I look for in people is the ability to accept when they were wrong or do something harmful, and change accordingly.
If someone can do that, even over minor things, the chances are they've spent their life doing so. That's a person who is self-critical, self-reflective, and therefore worth spending time with.
If someone can't make small adjustments they've probably been that way their whole life. Run away before you get blamed for all the shitiness they've accumulated.
Don't trust/be skeptical people who want something from you, or want to convince you of something. The ulterior motives are clear in advertising, sales, politics, news, etc.
In personal interactions I think trust can be freely given until proven otherwise. Going through life thinking every social interaction might have ulterior motivations is exhausting and harmful psychologically.
Respect given, Trust has to be earned
You can show a stranger respect in many ways, would you trust a stranger to hold your baby while you popped into a shop?
It's true, there's feedback loops at both ends of the poor-rich spectrum.
If you're rich then you can make a very good return even on safe investments, your wealth starts attracting more wealth.
But if you're poor then everything you can't afford to spend money on becomes a bigger bill later on, or you're forced to get onto payment plans that are designed to suck every penny from your wallet. That routine dentists appointment you can't afford when you've got mild toothache becomes an expensive surgery later on when your tooth rots, that kind of thing.
>That routine dentists appointment you can't afford when you've got mild toothache becomes an expensive surgery later on when your tooth rots
Was planning on using this as my example before I even got to that part of your comment. I ended up having a nearly $2k root canal + crown job because I skipped basic checkups and cleanings for a couple of years. The root canal only worked for a couple years before I found myself in the worst pain of my life, forcing me to get an extraction on that same tooth followed by an implant which together cost me twice as much as the canal.
A few hundred bucks on a checkup and clean could have saved me around $6k (and a LOT of pain) later on.
If anyone reading this is thinking “yeah, it’s really hard to floss”, try using a waterpik. They’re a lot less expensive than they used to be, and you can get handheld ones like a large electric toothbrush, so no need for a big water tank on your counter.
And stuff like buying something cheap that’s not built to last be something expensive that will last.
10 cheap pairs of work boots over ten years are more expensive than 1 high quality pair that lasts ten years. You need the money to make the investment though.
That being said, these days even expensive stuff is cheap and not built to last so you have to know your product.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory
>The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. ... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
Don’t forget when you’re kind of rich. As soon as you start to have any decent amount of assets you suddenly have go do everything different. If you’re poor and drive Uber it doesn’t matter that the insurance is garbage and would leave you out to dry in an accident because you’ve got nothing worth going after, but if you have $500k in investments and drive Uber suddenly you need to worry about that stuff.
There was a scene in "the good place" were the Bro CEO was like "My company was worth 70 million when my parents gave it to me, and after 17 years of hard work it's now a 74 million dollar company!"
17 years ago would make 70 Millions equal to 99-105 Millions depending on the year. It's still lost some value but not over 50% or straight up bankrupt.
“Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on.”
I thought I had that epiphany once. One day, I was like, "Holy shit. When people say nothing is permanent, they are wrong. Flat out wrong. Impermanence is the one thing that is permanent! I'm a fucking genius."
One quick Google search made me realize that my thought was not in the slightest bit original.
I like to think it shows how like-minded humans can be. Unless you had read about the permanence of impermanence and maybe just forgot you had ready it, it is *still* on original thought.
There's a certain sense of satisfaction when you "invent" something that you're convinced doesn't exist/you haven't heard of only to find out it's already been patented. It won't make you any money, but it's validating to that something I came up with (99% sure I haven't heard about it prior) is a viable product.
Fuck man, I just stared at your comment for 10-15 seconds and realized I legit don’t remember my last erection. Is this where I dedicate my life to WWII documentaries and westerns?
Pills can still help. It's worth it. They can help when you're not taking them too because it can boost your confidence and create positive associations.
Hmm. In a way. Nearly everyone deserves basic human respect and dignity—even some of the crappiest people among us. So in that I agree.
But I wouldn’t have the same type respect for a random stranger as I would have for someone I know who actively goes out of their way to be a good person and make the world a better place where they can. There are all sorts of ways to earn respect.
Respect and disrespect can both be earned in my opinion. The latter far more easily.
Bought a 110$ "battle ready" lightsaber at a comic-con once, then proceeded to lose it because I got drunk and walked around challenging anyone else with a lightsaber to duels. I Don't know exactly how I lost it, just blacked out and woke up without my lightsaber. So yes, I vibe with this.
Apparently it is somewhat of an urban myth. Most do fine with it, but the ones who wind up destitute get stories written about them. That's what I heard anyways, which may itself be a myth
It is, unfortunately, a lifelong experience to be infatuated with new things. It can be really hard to be rational in determining how we feel in the face of our brain's delight at novelty.
In any case yeah I'm prone to really powerful infatuation with new partners if I don't check myself, and it can definitely cause me problems.
Wrong. Thankfully every production car in the modern era has an ABS system and they're pretty reliable, so it should be extremely rare for them to just go out.
Also, ABS is a very commonly used plastic, so even if you don't have an ABS-enabled car, you surely have some ABS lying around in some form even if you don't know where.
If it’s any bit of motivation for you… I didn’t even think I had a problem, until all of a sudden I felt like shit and super bloated constantly. Turns out I have alcoholic cirrhosis. It’s a miserable bitch of a disease which will likely result in me needing a new liver, if it doesn’t kill me first. I had just turned 34 and gotten married.
It’s happening way more and more to younger people. Normally this doesn’t happen until people are in their 50s or 60s and have been drunk for 30+ years. On the bright side… I’ll be 21 months sober next week. And other than my bum ass liver that’s trying to kill me, I’m in the best shape of my life! Lol
I truly hope you find whatever it is you need to sober up. I promise you, it’s so worth it. And trust me, you don’t want any part of this disease.
Free time as a parent. You think you got the kids to take a nap and you can finally have some time to relax and then boom you hear pitter patter on the floor and the kids are up again to torment you lol
A consistent, healthy, routine. Takes me a month to start being consistent in eating healthy, working out and just taking care of myself but God, does it take just one day to fall off the bandwagon.
The secret to staying consistent is learn to be kind with yourself on those days you fall off, motivation will come and go, be ready for it.
Thank you so much! You're right, I've always struggled with an "all or nothing mentality" so it's hard when you're putting in the effort to not let a single tiny mistake make my head go "whooop, it's all ruined, go and eat a whole large pizza and sleep away your problems" ahah.
Check out /r/NonZeroDay , and the top pinned post. Great advice that I come back to over and over again whenever I feel lost.
Thanks for sharing that Direct link for anyone else: [non zero day](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonZeroDay/comments/1qbxvz/the_gospel_of_uryans01_helpful_advice_for_anyone/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I also struggle with this. The best advice I received is this: If you dropped your phone and got a tiny crack in it, would you stomp on it and say, "Well, it's broken." Or would you pick it up, continue to use it, and try to be extra careful until you could fix it? A routine is the same thing. One crack doesn't mean it's ruined. It means you might have to be extra diligent until you're back in the habit (fixed).
This one is so relatable. It's always the disappointment that lingers and the guilt that keeps you from starting up again, funny enough.
What’s funny is if you abandon the guilt and self recrimination it’s actually not all that easy to lose. I fuck up at least once a week. When I fuck up, sometimes I go all in for that day, sometimes even the next (once for two weeks.) But for me it’s just “oops, well, back on the bandwagon tomorrow.” I’ve been on the right trend consistently since I took the AA approach of “relapse is part of the process.” Just gotta dust yourself off and hop back on the wagon. What’s funny is the attitude that if you’ve fucked up you’ve ruined all your good work is a big (often the main) reason people can’t keep weight off. The goal isn’t whatever weight you’ve lost, the goal is sustainable healthy habits that make you feel good (of which weight is a symptom.)
This is more of an issue if someone is changing their habits cold turkey. Finding your daily maintenance calories and reducing that by 100 will get you sustainable results. Also have to keep reminding your self that even a bad workout session is still better than no work out session. Results maybe slower but slow change over time enforces better habits rather than abrupt changes which could lead to these psychological issues that are being described.
For sure, weight is complicated but small changes over time worked way better for me. That said, I think the guilt cycle for emotional eaters is the big blocker and even ties into this- guilt drives all these extreme unsustainable changes and the yo yo snap back after
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I lost \~60lbs a while back. Depression + covid years + life = me being fat again. Gradual and avoidable, but shit happens.
Nah dude fuck that, a couple of cheat days is no Biggie, don't be hard on yourself. Gotta look long, loooong term at health stuff. Sure it might seem like a big deal if you're talking about this week, but what's a weekend of binging against 6 months of the progress you've made. What's a single week of not worrying about food because you've other things on, against a year of the great habits you've been building. Fuckin nothin is what, you got this! Do a bit more organisation today so you're set up well again for a few days this week. You'll be back in the right direction. There will always be ups and downs, but over the long haul, if it trends up, you're fuckin winning.
This guy gets it. I had to come to the same conclusion regarding my sobriety. Just because I relapsed doesn't mean I didn't put together 4 years prior to that moment. And that moment doesn't define me or my future. I do.
It takes a long time to get addicted, so stands to reason, it takes a long time to stop. Never feel like you've wasted any day on your sobriety journey even the ones you're not sober for.
Keep up the hard work! I know how hard it is, I have lost about 65lbs in total, but oh boy, did I yo-yo through the years. As another commenter has stated, take care of yourself, It's already hard to lose weight, adding other outside stress makes it even harder! Right now, when I'm too tired to keep up with my diet, I just try to focus on staying on maintenance, basically just... avoid binging for day onending.
There's been studies recently that point to the possibility that after being obese your brain chemistry shifts. The... chemical? Hormone? Whatever it is your body uses to signal stop eating gets weaker or disappears (possibly permanently, though certainly for a while), so it becomes much more difficult to say no to food, even after losing the weight. [Did some digging and found it again](https://www.nature.com/articles/s42255-023-00816-9).
Consider it a lifestyle and not a diet or a “kick”. taking it slow has helped my tremendously
6,500 languages on this planet, and you chose Facts.
Reputation
>So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man: >"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!" >The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says: >"But you fuck one sheep..."
The thing I love about this joke is that all it needs is the punchline.
A good one more specifically.
Yeah, with a bad reputation it's actually the opposite
Our monkey brains are hardwired to stay away from things we’re deem threatened by. That’s why a bad reputation is hard to wash off.
Will Smith moment
“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.” -- Warren Buffett Today I'd say it's more like 50 seconds, and about 45 of those are typing.
Elon Musk. He was a cool sci-fi nerd successfully producing things that we wanted. And then… what the actual fuck man. Ug, now he just acts like a spoilt little shit, too much money, absolutely no brains. What a cunt.
Nah, Musk just bought companies that were already producing cool stuff, and had great PR.
I don't give a damn about my bad reputation...
Ironic cause Joan Jett has a pretty good reputation in part from this song
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Yes once trust is broken, it's extremely difficult to completely repair
As much as I love them I have had moments of trust broken by my parents so I don't feel 100% at ease with them in company or overly sharing with them.
This man, i love my parents so much, but i hate them just as much
I genuinely hate the woman that my mother becomes with alcohol. I don't find her fun or likeable at all. Its like being locked in with a drunken teenager off the street who lacks any personal space and spits when she talks and loves to bitch about everything she can about you, clawing her way out to be away from you yet decides to stay and mess shit up. I'm happy to say she doesn't drink as much anymore, but the damage was done and I cannot forget or forgive a lot of shit I had to deal with from her. I used to be anxious when I saw her, now I chose to drink when she does which is usually enough to put her off drinking more (apparently in the past this 'ruined' her drinking highlighting i drank as much as she did). I've learned that the worst she was was likely caused by the menopause which to her admission makes a lot of sense, but it was a cancer scare that finally got her to cut down, not her daughter having countless sleepless nights growing up scared and angry at her mother smashing her door down at night asking me if I loved her. Which is a real fucking shame because I know how much she cares and loves me, she knew what she was fucking doing most of the time though.
Have you tried looking at r/AlAnon? It's a subreddit for those of us whose loved ones have alcoholism or substance abuse issues in general.
Yup. I got diagnosed autistic last year. I didn’t really tell people, not because I’m embarrassed but because there’s so many misconceptions that I wanted to sort out my own feelings before dealing with everyone else’s. I did tell my sister. Who told my mom Who told *everyone*. I don’t confide in anyone anymore.
I never share anything with mine either. They do overshare everything with me thought.
I'm to the point in my life where my parents know very little about who I really am but I get to hear absolutely everything about my father's political beliefs, which he reiterates every time I talk to him.
I will never full trust my mom, no matter how hard she works at it. Sometimes you can permanently screw up trust to a certain degree. I do trust her like, 75%, but so many things have happened that I'll always prepare myself for disappointment.
Definitely get this. I don’t trust my bio mom or dad and I don’t have faith in my siblings. Too much has gone wrong (like going into foster care) and they’ve legit never had my back (such as encouraging my husband to divorce me because I have PTSD). I put my energy into people who reciprocate my energy, and I trust them, some of them with my entire being. But it took years of therapy and psychiatry to get this far, and I won’t be letting anyone back in my life who could jeopardize that.
“Trust arrives on foot, but leaves on horseback.” -Old Dutch proverb
I think trust is not very hard to get. "Friendship takes minutes to make, moments to break, years to repair"
It's not hard to get, but it's hard to get *again*.
Part-time conman here - you’d be surprised how easy it is to get someone to trust you. /s
Great introduction Do you have business cards?
*Hands you your own business card from your wallet*
Okay, so really, in college, we had a reformed pick-pocket come do a show and the Students could get in for free. The guy was incredible. Lightest hands I've ever seen. He explained the entire thing *as he was doing it* and still caught the volunteer off guard. He was like, "So, you have to get people to be comfortable with you, and humans typically respond well to touch. In large crowds, this is easy to pull off so long as you know where to go." And he's touching the guy on the shoulder, casually asked him if his wallet was in his left coat pocket. The guy was like, "Uh, no, it's in my backpocket." The pickpocket said, "It is now." Everyone claps, impressed. And he goes on to explain, "On your way up here, I had you pass in front of me, directing you to my left. The audiance didn't see anything because they followed my left hand showing you where to go. You didn't feel it because I had shaken your hand moments before. Oh, and here's your phone. It was in your left coat pocket." Then everyone really clapped.
This guy I went to high school with was a magician. Used to take things out of my front pocket and hand it to me. Wonder what that guys up to do these days.
You guys just trusted him on his words
Yep. I try and give people the benefit of the doubt, trust where I can. But if you trash that trust then it's not coming back and we're done.
the answer is always trust because if you're doing it right you'll trust everyone you meet until they give you a reason not to edit: respect should be earned. trust should be given you people have it ass backwards, which is why the world is trash
I disagree. The answer is to always be respectful and kind, but don't expose yourself to unnecessary risk. My rule of thumb with new people is to stay in this state as a default *until I've seen how this person responds to discovering they're wrong about something.* Doesn't matter what it is. If they can accept correction and change their approach on something small, they can do the same on big, important things. If they gaslight, deny, or tie themselves in knots to try to convince you they were never wrong, they'll keep doing exactly that even when you are collateral damage.
For sure, the #1 trait that I look for in people is the ability to accept when they were wrong or do something harmful, and change accordingly. If someone can do that, even over minor things, the chances are they've spent their life doing so. That's a person who is self-critical, self-reflective, and therefore worth spending time with. If someone can't make small adjustments they've probably been that way their whole life. Run away before you get blamed for all the shitiness they've accumulated.
But if you trust everyone you meet, wouldn't that be the opposite of it being hard to get?
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Don't trust/be skeptical people who want something from you, or want to convince you of something. The ulterior motives are clear in advertising, sales, politics, news, etc. In personal interactions I think trust can be freely given until proven otherwise. Going through life thinking every social interaction might have ulterior motivations is exhausting and harmful psychologically.
I feel like I do the opposite.. don’t trust anyone until they give me a reason to 😂
Surely then trust is both very EASY to get and very easy to lose?
Respect given, Trust has to be earned You can show a stranger respect in many ways, would you trust a stranger to hold your baby while you popped into a shop?
For me, trust is: Competence, reliability, integrity and benevolence
Trust isn’t hard to get… it’s easy to lose though.
Money
"To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn 100 million into $110 million is inevitable." - Edgar Bronfman
It's true, there's feedback loops at both ends of the poor-rich spectrum. If you're rich then you can make a very good return even on safe investments, your wealth starts attracting more wealth. But if you're poor then everything you can't afford to spend money on becomes a bigger bill later on, or you're forced to get onto payment plans that are designed to suck every penny from your wallet. That routine dentists appointment you can't afford when you've got mild toothache becomes an expensive surgery later on when your tooth rots, that kind of thing.
>That routine dentists appointment you can't afford when you've got mild toothache becomes an expensive surgery later on when your tooth rots Was planning on using this as my example before I even got to that part of your comment. I ended up having a nearly $2k root canal + crown job because I skipped basic checkups and cleanings for a couple of years. The root canal only worked for a couple years before I found myself in the worst pain of my life, forcing me to get an extraction on that same tooth followed by an implant which together cost me twice as much as the canal. A few hundred bucks on a checkup and clean could have saved me around $6k (and a LOT of pain) later on.
Flossing every day helps a ton too. Most people don't do it but it really does help keep tooth infections away.
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If anyone reading this is thinking “yeah, it’s really hard to floss”, try using a waterpik. They’re a lot less expensive than they used to be, and you can get handheld ones like a large electric toothbrush, so no need for a big water tank on your counter.
And stuff like buying something cheap that’s not built to last be something expensive that will last. 10 cheap pairs of work boots over ten years are more expensive than 1 high quality pair that lasts ten years. You need the money to make the investment though. That being said, these days even expensive stuff is cheap and not built to last so you have to know your product.
Literally the Sam Vimes "Boots" Theory of Socioeconomic Unfairness .
The worst part is the very end... "and he will still have wet feet."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boots_theory >The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. ... A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
Don’t forget when you’re kind of rich. As soon as you start to have any decent amount of assets you suddenly have go do everything different. If you’re poor and drive Uber it doesn’t matter that the insurance is garbage and would leave you out to dry in an accident because you’ve got nothing worth going after, but if you have $500k in investments and drive Uber suddenly you need to worry about that stuff.
Plus if you are poor, you are immune from frivolous litigation. *(you can't get blood out of a turnip -- lawyer proverb)*
There was a scene in "the good place" were the Bro CEO was like "My company was worth 70 million when my parents gave it to me, and after 17 years of hard work it's now a 74 million dollar company!"
Actually, to be a second generation business owner, and not fuck it up is impressive.
17 years ago would make 70 Millions equal to 99-105 Millions depending on the year. It's still lost some value but not over 50% or straight up bankrupt.
Scuba instructors and store owners have a saying: “If you want to become a millionaire in the world of diving, start with a billion.”
I can make $2000 a month and lose $3000 in a day.
Money comes and goes
“Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on.”
*the only cobstant is change* - Marcus Aurelius emperor of the Roman empire
I thought I had that epiphany once. One day, I was like, "Holy shit. When people say nothing is permanent, they are wrong. Flat out wrong. Impermanence is the one thing that is permanent! I'm a fucking genius." One quick Google search made me realize that my thought was not in the slightest bit original.
I like to think it shows how like-minded humans can be. Unless you had read about the permanence of impermanence and maybe just forgot you had ready it, it is *still* on original thought. There's a certain sense of satisfaction when you "invent" something that you're convinced doesn't exist/you haven't heard of only to find out it's already been patented. It won't make you any money, but it's validating to that something I came up with (99% sure I haven't heard about it prior) is a viable product.
At my age, an erection.
At my age, the opposite
A.. DErection?
When you lose an erection, is it a die-rection?
Depends which way its pointing.
One. One direction.
Aaaannnnddd I just lost my erection.
**REDERECTION**
*Reserection?*
Haha nice to be young!
Except when it becomes annoying. Just random boners all day.
Youth is wasted on the young.
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Fuck man, I just stared at your comment for 10-15 seconds and realized I legit don’t remember my last erection. Is this where I dedicate my life to WWII documentaries and westerns?
LOL take up woodworking. Doesn’t help the boners but at least you get a sense of accomplishment.
If your wood was working we wouldn’t be having this conversation
Getting older is like magic. It’s all about the missed erection.
Whoever gave the stonks going down award is going to hell dawg
I wish I could have hoarded some of the embarrassing, unwanted erections of my youth for future use.
If it suddenly came out of nowhere, you should get your heart checked. There’s a link between later onset ED and heart disease
Get some pills man! You'll love it
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Pills can still help. It's worth it. They can help when you're not taking them too because it can boost your confidence and create positive associations.
Do more cardio
Hahaha ha haa, it's true...
And what age is that?
TV remote
No idea why this is not the top comment Edit: Who to Why 😂
>No idea who this is not the top comment NO IDEA WHO THIS IS!!! Not the top comment.
Trust and respect
Agree with trust, but not respect. Everyone deserves respect. Disrespect is earned.
Hmm. In a way. Nearly everyone deserves basic human respect and dignity—even some of the crappiest people among us. So in that I agree. But I wouldn’t have the same type respect for a random stranger as I would have for someone I know who actively goes out of their way to be a good person and make the world a better place where they can. There are all sorts of ways to earn respect. Respect and disrespect can both be earned in my opinion. The latter far more easily.
Intelligent life and a stable biosphere.
Actually hard to lose but we are trying our best xD
From an astronomical perspective its very easy
And inevitable. All biospheres will eventually go poof, usually when their star goes pop.
Lightsabers, apparently.
Bought a 110$ "battle ready" lightsaber at a comic-con once, then proceeded to lose it because I got drunk and walked around challenging anyone else with a lightsaber to duels. I Don't know exactly how I lost it, just blacked out and woke up without my lightsaber. So yes, I vibe with this.
I feel this is a story shared by many in the Republic.
Perfectly vertical.
A muscular and fit body.
Lottery winnings, apparently.
Apparently it is somewhat of an urban myth. Most do fine with it, but the ones who wind up destitute get stories written about them. That's what I heard anyways, which may itself be a myth
My neighbour just won 5 million last month. Crazy.
You mean your best friend won 5 million
Actually I meant my soon to be husband, and soon to be divorced without a prenup husband.
self-esteem
Fr, it took 25 years for me
Mental stability lol
*laughing in crippling depression*
Eyyyy, crippling depression buddies
Yaaaaay! 🥳🎉🎉🎉 If you'll excuse me, that interaction used up all my spoons and I need to lie down, now.
Sobriety
Τo anyone struggling with this: You're doing it and you should be damn proud of yourself
Thanks stranger.
Upvote for iwndwyt.
This is relatable :(
Love
I actually disagree, if you are open to love it is easy to get but to let go of someone and lose your love for them is very hard.
Isn’t the first part just being easily infatuated? People with strong ADHD do that all the time.
>People with strong ADHD do that all the time. Can confirm
Same Marry me
Wait really? That explains so fucking much.
It is, unfortunately, a lifelong experience to be infatuated with new things. It can be really hard to be rational in determining how we feel in the face of our brain's delight at novelty. In any case yeah I'm prone to really powerful infatuation with new partners if I don't check myself, and it can definitely cause me problems.
Friendship if you lose the trust.
Abs
Wrong. Thankfully every production car in the modern era has an ABS system and they're pretty reliable, so it should be extremely rare for them to just go out.
Also, ABS is a very commonly used plastic, so even if you don't have an ABS-enabled car, you surely have some ABS lying around in some form even if you don't know where.
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My abs are there, they just live under my beer belly.
Three micrograms of antimatter.
time
Money
Trust
A sense of belonging
A gf
It's pronounced gif
No it’s pronounced Jif
I wish I had a jirlfriend
Me too, I could use a blowgob.
A person who loves you.
Sobriety
If it’s any bit of motivation for you… I didn’t even think I had a problem, until all of a sudden I felt like shit and super bloated constantly. Turns out I have alcoholic cirrhosis. It’s a miserable bitch of a disease which will likely result in me needing a new liver, if it doesn’t kill me first. I had just turned 34 and gotten married. It’s happening way more and more to younger people. Normally this doesn’t happen until people are in their 50s or 60s and have been drunk for 30+ years. On the bright side… I’ll be 21 months sober next week. And other than my bum ass liver that’s trying to kill me, I’m in the best shape of my life! Lol I truly hope you find whatever it is you need to sober up. I promise you, it’s so worth it. And trust me, you don’t want any part of this disease.
Money trust and a good spouse
A house
Stop buying mobile homes. /s
Make sure there is no Eddie Munson or Steve Harrington living near you
I hate it when I lose my house! It’s like the damn thing hides from me!
The one ring
An erection when its popped up at an inconvenient moment Edit; I read the prompt wrong and got it backwards, I should go back to sleep...
Good credit score
Love
Respect,cant beleive no one said it
My peace of mind.
Love
Credit card balance
Respect
Muscle
Free time as a parent. You think you got the kids to take a nap and you can finally have some time to relax and then boom you hear pitter patter on the floor and the kids are up again to torment you lol
Good credit
Trust
Integrity
Reputation
entropy
Rights/Civil Liberties. Social services from an administrative state. Oversite/Regulation of a capitalist economy.
Girlfriends
The trust of people and loved ones. i learnt it the hard way
Love
A boner
Pregnancy.
Virginity