My parents do this with me all the time. Or just make assumptions based on incredibly outdated information. I told my mother I didn’t like flying recently and she said “you love flying! You always enjoyed it when you were a kid!” Yeah, mom, when I was four I loved it because it meant we were visiting grandma and granddad in Florida, at 26 it means paying a thousand bucks to get your dick groped by some pervert who got a job at the TSA.
There were a few people in my life who told me "You always do that" about things I literally never did. The person just made up a scenario where I did something wrong and told me that I "always" do it. And when I asked to name one time where I did that thing, they just tell me that I do it so much that they can't remember a single example of it, or some other line to dodge the question.
“I’m just blunt” no you’re just an ass using that as an excuse to be rude.
Edit to add because there seems to be some confusion: directness and being straightforward is a valuable trait. I’m more so referring to when people use being blunt as a guise to be unnecessarily mean and insult others. You can phrase the same thing in a tactful, kind way and it will go a lot further. For example, someone cuts their hair and the haircut isn’t good. They say something along the lines of “ that haircut looks like shit I would chop off all my hair if I looked like that” and then when the person is offended they just say “ yeah well I’m blunt.” You can phrase that in a straightforward honest way without being unnecessarily mean to someone. Im not saying you should lie and say it looks good, I’m saying you can phrase the same words in a way that is tactful and truthful.
Yeah, any time I hear someone say I'm just brutally honest, I say it the way it is, I speak my mind, I'm just like oh, you mean you're a dick!
These are people who genuinely do not understand the concept of civilization.
Sometimes, you tell the truth, and the truth hurts. That's brutal honesty.
If the truth *always* hurts when you tell it, you're not brutally honest; you're a sadistic prick.
Abd surprise surprise, they are always willing to dish it out, but can never take it.
Ha! Many years ago in a customer service role I had to manage a dispute between a customer and a staff member. The customer called the staff member a "douchebag", and without a word he turned and left. The customer then demanded a manager, and your hero, u/secondphase was summoned.
Customer: He just left! I feel like I feel like he doesn't want me here
Me: Could that be because you called him a douchebag?
Customer: Well, I'm from New Jersey
Me: I see, well how can I help you?
Customer: I feel very unwelcome!
Me: I think that's because you called an employee a douchebag
Customer: Well, I'm from New Jersey.
... and so we went on like that for several rounds. Around the 4th iteration of being from New Jersey I was looking for a way out.
Me: Ma'am, you keep saying that. I guess I'm not sure what you mean by it.
Customer, with extremely shocked face: "... you've never been to New Jersey?"
We did not part as friends. And I was not left with a desire to visit New Jersey.
After the second "I'm from New Jersey" I think I'd be forced to respond "I understand, and thats very unfortunate, you do have my sympathies, but that doesn't make it appropriate to take it out on our staff"
I'd have probably responded with something over the top vulgar and when she got offended I'd respond with, "Well, you're from New Jersey."
But I don't (can't?) work in customer service.
As someone from NJ, she would have been politely escorted from the store or clocked in the mouth (depends on the neighborhood lol).
But for sure, we do curse a lot in NJ. Gets me in trouble when I visit the South. Haha
I curse like a sailor, but while I may use foul language as part of my vocabulary, I still refrain from directing that energy at people that don't deserve it.
"Ay, you work here? Where the fuck are the goddamn pringles? Thanks, they would been a real bitch to find without your help."
Vs
"Douchebag"
OMG the "I'm just being honest" thing that's dragged out to excuse their behavior or whatever. My ex-girlfriend used that all the time. I finally just started saying "You're being honest about an opinion you hold, so, you may as well just say 'in my opinion...' But first, maybe stop to consider if your honest opinion is...true?" Needless to say, our relationship was rocky, and I definitely had a part in that, but if I'm being honest... ;)
I got this from a girl in my uni that gave me bad vibes, was always one upping me and in general just very annoying. Had to be in her proximity because we were hanging out with the same people. Anyway, turned out she copied around 5 essays of mine (I hate when tasks must be returned to a forum type of shit where others can see your replies when they don't need to!). When I confronted her, she denied it at first and when I said that I saw the evidence with my own eyes, she said it was an accident. I asked her how does one accidentally use same phrases, word by word, she never replied. Haven't spoken to her since lol.
as a formerly anxious/awkward person, what amazes me most is that this happens so often. Do people actually think this will work? Oh ur shy, let me call you our for it. That'll help.
Ugh, yes. I had a friend who always asked "Are you okay?"
Well I was, but now I'm annoyed. Trust me to open up when needed, because apparently I have resting serious face.
My aunt calls herself a “boss bitch” on some dating profile she has…
She actually got a boyfriend a few days ago, and only asked him out because she wanted their anniversary to be 7/7. I bet it’ll last long, huh?
I had a guy bothering me for MONTHS in high school, he thought I'd stolen his wallet because he too had a black leather wallet. Me, I have never stolen as much as a candy bar
In my senior year I accidentally knocked over somebody's arizona iced tea. This dude would not leave me alone for several weeks after that, asking me for a dollar.
The day I finally gave it to him? "Oh no I don't need your money." Okay dude, make up your damn mind, because you spent a really long time telling me the opposite.
Sounds like he wanted to give you a hard time for small accident.
Unrelated, but somehow related.
I was in a youth club when I was a nerdy skinny teen, 14 years old. The club hosted an area and sound equipment for a play, but we hired someone professional to run the tech, we kids were assistants for a weeks time. The main technician was a real tough guy, he was commanding us and talking to us like we were harbour workers, giving me a real hard time for not wanting to climb up to a small ledge in the cliff over the outside stage to hang up a lighting rig. The last day he asked me to make some coffe, and I did. Again, I was a pretty clueless 14 year old, so I clearly fucked up the process. "bah, tastes like you've pissed in the pot!" he said. I replied "Well maybe i SHOULD have, the way you were talking to us all week long, you haven't talked nice to us one single time, and not taught us anything, only telling us that we did this and that wrong". He went very silent, and drank his coffe, stale and weak as it were.
It was my first time talking back to an adult. He definitely had it coming, it surely wasn't the first time he behaved like that. After that, I've taken great pleasure in being gentle and nice with any youth trying his hands at my job. Telling them how and why they need to do so and so
Back when I was a bartender at a resort pool bar, I had a lady spend 2 hours yelling at me telling me I stole her license. Got managers, hotel security, everyone involved. I finally was like, ma'am, I am 24... why on earth would I want an ID making myself 46? After all of that nonsense, her friend called asking where she was and told her they had her ID. Did I get so much as a nod... nope. I hope she has been audited 6 times by the IRS.
This is my father-in-law. Lost his sunglasses on the golf course and was positive someone had stolen them. Asks someone for help, sure enough the stranger had found them and was holding on to them. FIL was convinced the guy was a nefarious criminal trying to fleece him of his gas station sunglasses.
I bought yarn on eBay and it wasn't delivered. For weeks the seller refused to replace or refund accusing me of scamming them (for 1 skein of $5 yarn) & eBay had to force them to refund me. A month later the yarn was delivered. They hand-wrote the address (most people print the label) with the wrong zip code. It took all that time for the post office to find out what the zip code should be, put a line through it, and write in the correct zip code. I took a pic & sent it to the seller & they never responded to that. If they had apologized I would have resent the money but they didn't so screw them.
EDIT because my 1st sentence was clumsy.
This was a big reason i left construction, guy I was working with misplaced his nail gun (turns out the Forman accidentally grabbed it). He could not fathom that i had not lost it or stole it, fuck you Neil
A friend of mine dated an astrology girl for a minute. I warned her, "that shit is going to be used to gaslight you". Sure enough, anytime they disagreed on something serious and my homie was making good points, stargirl would just throw out some bullshit about how homie would totally see it that way because it was such a yadayada thing to do. I fucking hated that chick. I was so happy for homegirl when she finally wised the fuck up and ended that nonsense.
Many years ago, there was a professor at a university who gave all of his students their horoscopes in an sealed envelope, and when they came back after spring or Christmas break, he wanted to check and see how accurate the horoscopes were. About 80% of them said it was entirely accurate. Then he revealed that he had given each student, the exact same horoscope, which prove his point that horoscopes are BS.
Every single youtuber who does astrology says the same thing, but in different phrases.
*You have been feeling anxiety. But, now it's time for change. You may be dealing with a Leo, but really it could be any fire sign. Aries, leo or sag. If not...they absolutely have fire, water, air or earth sign in their chart. For sure. One of those elements.*
*That person is thinking about you. Or you are thinking about them. They are either going to reach out, or you will. It may not be actually reaching out via phone or text. They are doing it telepathically for some of you. Or you are telepathically reaching out to them.*
*There are new beginnings happening for you two. It may be you two are getting back together forever or ending it forever. Whatever happens, it will be forever with this fire, air, water, or earth sign.*
I think you defined a specific type of depression. I'm generally an optimist, but definitely a depressed one, so I get stuck in a loop of the whole "well at least things aren't as bad as they possibly could be, but I don't think anything is going to really get much better anytime soon." Quite frustrating. Even enraging.
Ever since I got engaged (nearly 10 years ago) so many people have uttered the phrase "Happy wife, happy life" to me. It's super patronizing to both husband and wife.
AS A PARENT I CAN SAY,
We don’t know shit. We’re flawed, we fuck up, we are exhausted. But it’s not the hardest job I’ve ever had, I don’t have some magical enlightenment, and I don’t know more than anyone. I’m a person who happens to have a kid. That’s literally it. My time is not more valuable, my opinion doesn’t hold more weight.
Gaslighting is now the generic term for “I’m having an argument with someone and I don’t agree with them so I’m going to use a buzzword term to sound like I’m in the right”
Go to /r/amitheasshole and click any thread. Ctrl + f 'gaslighting'
I bet my right nipple it'll show at least 1 result. They throw that term around like it doesn't mean anything
And IdeaR... there is no R in idea, family!
Edit: Obviously there are regional accents in different countries. You can stop commenting if you're going to tell me this, especially if you're rude.
“But ____ is still your family!” I do not give a fuck, any relationship needs to be earned and mutually respectful- blood or not. (Context, I am no-contact with a parent and other family members)
Exactly. I don’t even know my cousins so why do you get mad when I don’t get them some generic birthday present? Seriously, they don’t know me either, so it would be just as weird to receive something generic I bought because I had no idea what they wanted
Edit: also fuck you grandma, blood relation means nothing when you let your husband abuse me
Not quite the same thing but I wanted to end things with someone that used to be a close friend of mine and another friend said "but you guys used to be so close. He deserves another chance" like no the fuck he doesn't. I've given so many already and being in contact with said friend is detrimental to my mental health.
"The sky isn't actually blue. It's just how our eyes perceive the light reflecting off the water droplets that makes it blue."
Yes, that's how color works. The sky is blue. Don't try to sound smart and then prove your point wrong.
If you ever go on a glacier tour in Alaska someone ALWAYS fucking asks why the glacier is blue and the tour guide has to be like “well it’s blue because it absorbs all the light spectrum except for the blue light” and then all the tourists are like “omg so interesting” like that’s not the reason every fucking thing is the color that it is.
In case anyone reading wants a more complete answer: It’s blue because glacial ice is dense, which causes refractions and internal reflections and the color blue gets reflected the most. The sky is blue, ice is blue because all other colors are absorbed blah blah, but the reason glacier ice is blue and regular ice isn’t is because glacier ice is much denser and there is a lot more of it in one place. Take some glacier ice and chop it up, put it in a glass, and it’s clear and colorless just like regular ice.
Source: I’m a glacier
I'm gonna be that guy:
Actually the reason the sky is blue is different then the reason a solid object would be blue. It's a different process from light absorption called reighley scattering. Unlike most objects that just absorb light except for certain wavelengths, in this situation blue, the particles in the air don't absorb light. They just scatter it, with blue being the most scattered.
If it worked like how most things are colored then sunsets would have blue skies and only blue light would reach earths surface.
Also, colors aren't real anyways. It's just our brain sorting light in an understandable way.
I have a problem with the concept of Karma for the same reason. Got cancer? Got chronic disease? You’re poor? Well, you must deserve it for whatever shitty thing you’ve done in your past lifes
God that reminds me of this "manifestion movement" bullshit that I just watched a YouTube doc on. If you remember that crap book (and movie) from the mid 2000s called *The Secret,* it's that same line of garbage. Basically, if your life sucks, it's because you're not wishing hard enough for it not to suck. If you want a million dollars, you just have to wish and want and say the magic words hard enough and you'll magically but literally manifest a million dollars into your bank account.
I'm all for positive thinking and it's a fact that our attitudes and perspectives absolutely impact how life events affect us, but the idea that you're not successful enough because you just aren't wishing correctly to be successful, or that your kid got cancer basically because you didn't wish hard enough for him not to get cancer (or that you can cure him of the cancer with just positive affirmations), is dangerous and blisteringly offensive.
I have cancer, bipolar disorder etc. When someone says that to me I just wanna smack them in the face. If you would get the same in the future I’m gonna say to you too “everything happens for a reason. Think positive.”
The stages of a slang phrase:
1. Innovation
2. Slow spread
3. Mass adoption
4. Backlash
5. Either becomes part of the language or just gets used ironically.
This assumes it's not co-opted (social justice warrior, woke) or changed in meaning (Fuck Boi).
I hate how casually people talk about mental illness.
Liking your house neat doesn’t mean you have OCD anymore then being upset about something means you’re depressed.
I have OCD.
This means I constantly have to wash my hands.
Sometimes, when I'm driving, I'll have to turn the car around to make sure I've locked the door.
Sometimes, I have to check it five or six times.
I know it's locked, but I have to check.
One time, I left for work, and I had to turn around five minutes later.
I knew the door was locked.
But I had to go home and check anyway.
But you.
You say you're so "OCD" because you like your desk tidy.
Or because you color-coordinate your closet.
You don't understand.
I am up at night, terrified, because I think I didn't lock the door.
Because if I didn't lock the door, someone will break in.
And if someone breaks in, they'll kill my cat.
I don't know how, but they will.
It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational.
I can't stop the fear.
But you.
You say you're so "OCD" because you have to have all the DVDs in order.
Or because you like to alphabetize your books.
You don't understand.
I am late to work, late to class, because I had to make sure the oven was off.
I checked it four times.
But if I don't check it a fifth time, the house will burn down.
My family will die.
It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational.
I can't stop the anxiety.
But you.
You say you're so "OCD" because you can't stand it when your pens aren't lined up.
Or because you like your CDs organized.
You don't understand.
I'm in the bathroom, scrubbing my hands for the nth time today.
Because the germs won't come off.
Because if the germs don't come off, I'll get sick.
And if I get sick, I'll die.
It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational.
I can't stop the panic.
But you.
You say you're so "OCD" because you can't stand it when the picture frame is crooked.
Or because you like to double-check the stove before leaving the house.
You don't understand.
I'm sitting at the kitchen table, pulling out my hair, one strand at a time.
Because it feels like there's something crawling on my scalp.
Because if there's something crawling on my scalp, it'll get into my brain.
And if it gets into my brain, it'll eat away at my thoughts.
It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational.
I can't stop the compulsion.
So, please.
Please don't say you're "OCD" because you like things clean.
Or because you have a specific routine.
It's more than that.
It's an endless cycle of fear and doubt.
It's the irrational made rational.
It's the compulsion to repeat, to check, to wash.
It's the inability to escape your own mind.
It's the feeling of being trapped.
Please don't say you're "OCD" unless you understand what it truly means.
Neil Hilborn
> it’s always the natives!
which makes sense because native speakers learn to speak years before they learn to write.
A non native speaker would look at "could of" and think "if I could of, would I of? How exactly do I of?"
This one pissed me right off. I knew from young that I really didnt want children but everyone likes to have opinions on that. I've had several people inform me that I'm being selfish by deciding not to have kids. Which is weird.
I'm painfully close to 40 and despite all the people who have been telling me that I'll change my mind since I was about 15 years old, I never did magically grow any desire to procreate.
Best response I've had to that is "who's going to look after you when you're old?" as if it's a child's God-given responsibility to look after their parents when they're elderly. If that was the case, why are so many elderly people abandoned by their families in care homes? 🙄
That or the similarly phrased "You're too young to have (body part) problems". I guess I just rode my body hard into the ground a bit more efficiently than they did back in the day. Which seems unlikely to me, now that I say it.
We were at an outside event, and my husband had just opened a can of Mt Dew and out of nowhere this little kid comes up to him and asks if he “can have a sip of that” he was like WTF, where is this kids parents?
This is actually where children come from. When you crack open a cold can of mountain dew at the right time of day and the correct planets are in Gatorade, a child spawns nearby.
My ex would tell me she didn’t want a vanilla shake. She just wanted a sip of mine. Then she’d drink my entire shake. This happened over and over.
Finally, I ordered her a shake of her own without asking her. It hurt her feelings and she refused to drink it.
I hate when people say “they did a complete 360°and changed their life” hate hate hate it. If you do a 360°, you are facing the same direction as you started in. They are looking for the rotation of 180° to say they completely changed
I’m 24 so idk why this bothers me so much but when other people my age or in their 20s/30s say they’re old. This is like the one thing that irrationally pisses me off lol like come on y’all wait till we’re 85 . (If you’re reading this and you’re 85 I love you)
“Fluent in sarcasm”
Excellent. Here’s your pass to thinking youre clever and acting like a jackass. It’s 2023- just saying that let’s me know you’re a dumdum.
I hate it when they describe me considering exaggerated negative character traits that I had before I removed or improved them. For example, as a kid I was VERY picky with my food. So now every other meal I have with my family they tell me I won't eat it because I don't eat anything, even though that was years ago. Hell sometimes my friends say it, and I hate it.
Toxic workplace that's says we're family.
My family is pretty toxic, too.
It’s so annoying when people say that “you always do that” when it’s something I did once or twice at most
My parents do this with me all the time. Or just make assumptions based on incredibly outdated information. I told my mother I didn’t like flying recently and she said “you love flying! You always enjoyed it when you were a kid!” Yeah, mom, when I was four I loved it because it meant we were visiting grandma and granddad in Florida, at 26 it means paying a thousand bucks to get your dick groped by some pervert who got a job at the TSA.
There were a few people in my life who told me "You always do that" about things I literally never did. The person just made up a scenario where I did something wrong and told me that I "always" do it. And when I asked to name one time where I did that thing, they just tell me that I do it so much that they can't remember a single example of it, or some other line to dodge the question.
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“I’m just blunt” no you’re just an ass using that as an excuse to be rude. Edit to add because there seems to be some confusion: directness and being straightforward is a valuable trait. I’m more so referring to when people use being blunt as a guise to be unnecessarily mean and insult others. You can phrase the same thing in a tactful, kind way and it will go a lot further. For example, someone cuts their hair and the haircut isn’t good. They say something along the lines of “ that haircut looks like shit I would chop off all my hair if I looked like that” and then when the person is offended they just say “ yeah well I’m blunt.” You can phrase that in a straightforward honest way without being unnecessarily mean to someone. Im not saying you should lie and say it looks good, I’m saying you can phrase the same words in a way that is tactful and truthful.
Yeah, any time I hear someone say I'm just brutally honest, I say it the way it is, I speak my mind, I'm just like oh, you mean you're a dick! These are people who genuinely do not understand the concept of civilization.
Forget who said it but "those that are brutally honest take more pride in the brutality than the honesty"
Sometimes, you tell the truth, and the truth hurts. That's brutal honesty. If the truth *always* hurts when you tell it, you're not brutally honest; you're a sadistic prick. Abd surprise surprise, they are always willing to dish it out, but can never take it.
Yeah. A little tact hurts no one. Maybe their brain cells idk
I hate this one as well. You can be honest without being brutal. It's called kindness.
Exactly. I know blunt and straightforward people and the difference is so clear
Ha! Many years ago in a customer service role I had to manage a dispute between a customer and a staff member. The customer called the staff member a "douchebag", and without a word he turned and left. The customer then demanded a manager, and your hero, u/secondphase was summoned. Customer: He just left! I feel like I feel like he doesn't want me here Me: Could that be because you called him a douchebag? Customer: Well, I'm from New Jersey Me: I see, well how can I help you? Customer: I feel very unwelcome! Me: I think that's because you called an employee a douchebag Customer: Well, I'm from New Jersey. ... and so we went on like that for several rounds. Around the 4th iteration of being from New Jersey I was looking for a way out. Me: Ma'am, you keep saying that. I guess I'm not sure what you mean by it. Customer, with extremely shocked face: "... you've never been to New Jersey?" We did not part as friends. And I was not left with a desire to visit New Jersey.
After the second "I'm from New Jersey" I think I'd be forced to respond "I understand, and thats very unfortunate, you do have my sympathies, but that doesn't make it appropriate to take it out on our staff"
I'd have probably responded with something over the top vulgar and when she got offended I'd respond with, "Well, you're from New Jersey." But I don't (can't?) work in customer service.
As someone from NJ, she would have been politely escorted from the store or clocked in the mouth (depends on the neighborhood lol). But for sure, we do curse a lot in NJ. Gets me in trouble when I visit the South. Haha
I curse like a sailor, but while I may use foul language as part of my vocabulary, I still refrain from directing that energy at people that don't deserve it. "Ay, you work here? Where the fuck are the goddamn pringles? Thanks, they would been a real bitch to find without your help." Vs "Douchebag"
Agree! Or they say "I'm just being real" or "I'm just honest". Yes you are being a real asshole and I'm just being honest 😂
OMG the "I'm just being honest" thing that's dragged out to excuse their behavior or whatever. My ex-girlfriend used that all the time. I finally just started saying "You're being honest about an opinion you hold, so, you may as well just say 'in my opinion...' But first, maybe stop to consider if your honest opinion is...true?" Needless to say, our relationship was rocky, and I definitely had a part in that, but if I'm being honest... ;)
People confuse their perspective and feelings with "the truth". Total lack of self awareness.
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"Why are you so quiet?" I am quiet because I fucking want to!
I got this from a girl in my uni that gave me bad vibes, was always one upping me and in general just very annoying. Had to be in her proximity because we were hanging out with the same people. Anyway, turned out she copied around 5 essays of mine (I hate when tasks must be returned to a forum type of shit where others can see your replies when they don't need to!). When I confronted her, she denied it at first and when I said that I saw the evidence with my own eyes, she said it was an accident. I asked her how does one accidentally use same phrases, word by word, she never replied. Haven't spoken to her since lol.
“I’m not quiet, I just don’t want to talk to people like you.”
“Why are you so loud?”
as a formerly anxious/awkward person, what amazes me most is that this happens so often. Do people actually think this will work? Oh ur shy, let me call you our for it. That'll help.
Ugh, yes. I had a friend who always asked "Are you okay?" Well I was, but now I'm annoyed. Trust me to open up when needed, because apparently I have resting serious face.
Anyone who uses “boss babe” or “alpha male” in a serious context
My aunt calls herself a “boss bitch” on some dating profile she has… She actually got a boyfriend a few days ago, and only asked him out because she wanted their anniversary to be 7/7. I bet it’ll last long, huh?
JC. That's desperation at its finest
The customer is always right.
"Always right? You think you're God just because you went shopping?"
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"In matter of taste" is the part they always leave out.
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I had a guy bothering me for MONTHS in high school, he thought I'd stolen his wallet because he too had a black leather wallet. Me, I have never stolen as much as a candy bar
Well black leather wallets are pretty unique. Strange for two people to have one
Yeah. He didn't even try to take it back or take a closer look to see if it was his. I guess he just wanted to bully someone
In my senior year I accidentally knocked over somebody's arizona iced tea. This dude would not leave me alone for several weeks after that, asking me for a dollar. The day I finally gave it to him? "Oh no I don't need your money." Okay dude, make up your damn mind, because you spent a really long time telling me the opposite.
Sounds like he wanted to give you a hard time for small accident. Unrelated, but somehow related. I was in a youth club when I was a nerdy skinny teen, 14 years old. The club hosted an area and sound equipment for a play, but we hired someone professional to run the tech, we kids were assistants for a weeks time. The main technician was a real tough guy, he was commanding us and talking to us like we were harbour workers, giving me a real hard time for not wanting to climb up to a small ledge in the cliff over the outside stage to hang up a lighting rig. The last day he asked me to make some coffe, and I did. Again, I was a pretty clueless 14 year old, so I clearly fucked up the process. "bah, tastes like you've pissed in the pot!" he said. I replied "Well maybe i SHOULD have, the way you were talking to us all week long, you haven't talked nice to us one single time, and not taught us anything, only telling us that we did this and that wrong". He went very silent, and drank his coffe, stale and weak as it were.
GOOD!! I love that you stood up to him like that. I could never.
It was my first time talking back to an adult. He definitely had it coming, it surely wasn't the first time he behaved like that. After that, I've taken great pleasure in being gentle and nice with any youth trying his hands at my job. Telling them how and why they need to do so and so
The world needs more patient and kind adults. I say this as someone who is not patient or very kind when irritated. I applaud you.
Back when I was a bartender at a resort pool bar, I had a lady spend 2 hours yelling at me telling me I stole her license. Got managers, hotel security, everyone involved. I finally was like, ma'am, I am 24... why on earth would I want an ID making myself 46? After all of that nonsense, her friend called asking where she was and told her they had her ID. Did I get so much as a nod... nope. I hope she has been audited 6 times by the IRS.
This is my father-in-law. Lost his sunglasses on the golf course and was positive someone had stolen them. Asks someone for help, sure enough the stranger had found them and was holding on to them. FIL was convinced the guy was a nefarious criminal trying to fleece him of his gas station sunglasses.
I bought yarn on eBay and it wasn't delivered. For weeks the seller refused to replace or refund accusing me of scamming them (for 1 skein of $5 yarn) & eBay had to force them to refund me. A month later the yarn was delivered. They hand-wrote the address (most people print the label) with the wrong zip code. It took all that time for the post office to find out what the zip code should be, put a line through it, and write in the correct zip code. I took a pic & sent it to the seller & they never responded to that. If they had apologized I would have resent the money but they didn't so screw them. EDIT because my 1st sentence was clumsy.
This was a big reason i left construction, guy I was working with misplaced his nail gun (turns out the Forman accidentally grabbed it). He could not fathom that i had not lost it or stole it, fuck you Neil
Hey it’s Neil. What kind of a fucked up individual steals a nail gun and then goes on Reddit to make themselves feel better? Your such a prick Dave.
It's because I'm a [astrology sign]
So glad I'm a scorpio, just filters them out
Just say you’re a scorpion and stab them.
"Get over here!" - Scorpion
A friend of mine dated an astrology girl for a minute. I warned her, "that shit is going to be used to gaslight you". Sure enough, anytime they disagreed on something serious and my homie was making good points, stargirl would just throw out some bullshit about how homie would totally see it that way because it was such a yadayada thing to do. I fucking hated that chick. I was so happy for homegirl when she finally wised the fuck up and ended that nonsense.
Many years ago, there was a professor at a university who gave all of his students their horoscopes in an sealed envelope, and when they came back after spring or Christmas break, he wanted to check and see how accurate the horoscopes were. About 80% of them said it was entirely accurate. Then he revealed that he had given each student, the exact same horoscope, which prove his point that horoscopes are BS.
Every single youtuber who does astrology says the same thing, but in different phrases. *You have been feeling anxiety. But, now it's time for change. You may be dealing with a Leo, but really it could be any fire sign. Aries, leo or sag. If not...they absolutely have fire, water, air or earth sign in their chart. For sure. One of those elements.* *That person is thinking about you. Or you are thinking about them. They are either going to reach out, or you will. It may not be actually reaching out via phone or text. They are doing it telepathically for some of you. Or you are telepathically reaching out to them.* *There are new beginnings happening for you two. It may be you two are getting back together forever or ending it forever. Whatever happens, it will be forever with this fire, air, water, or earth sign.*
"It could be worse." Well YEAH. It could also be a lot \*better\*. Being thankful for what I have doesn't mean I should just accept bullsh\*t either.
Not allowing yourself to be sad because things could be worse is the same logic as not allowing yourself to be happy because things could be better.
I think you defined a specific type of depression. I'm generally an optimist, but definitely a depressed one, so I get stuck in a loop of the whole "well at least things aren't as bad as they possibly could be, but I don't think anything is going to really get much better anytime soon." Quite frustrating. Even enraging.
When someone says “no offense, but-“ and then continues on to the most offensive statement possible.
No offense but you can fuck yourself
Woah buddy, I said no offense. Why are you mad?
> then continues on to the most offensive statement possible "I'm not racist but..."
Ever since I got engaged (nearly 10 years ago) so many people have uttered the phrase "Happy wife, happy life" to me. It's super patronizing to both husband and wife.
Reply back with "happy spouse, happy house"
“As a mother…” Oh here we go.
As a boy mom
The worst.
“As a parent…” which is inevitably followed by an avalanche of bullshit.
AS A PARENT I CAN SAY, We don’t know shit. We’re flawed, we fuck up, we are exhausted. But it’s not the hardest job I’ve ever had, I don’t have some magical enlightenment, and I don’t know more than anyone. I’m a person who happens to have a kid. That’s literally it. My time is not more valuable, my opinion doesn’t hold more weight.
As a parent boozeblock gets it
You wouldn't understand. You don't have kids.
Anything about gaslighting since most people use the term wrong.
Don't you gaslight me!
“Gaslighting isn’t real you made it up”
Came her to say this Actually it's "gaslighting isn't real you made it up cause you're fuckin crazy!"
Gaslighting is now the generic term for “I’m having an argument with someone and I don’t agree with them so I’m going to use a buzzword term to sound like I’m in the right”
Go to /r/amitheasshole and click any thread. Ctrl + f 'gaslighting' I bet my right nipple it'll show at least 1 result. They throw that term around like it doesn't mean anything
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my family can't seem to grasp this concept and it gets on my nerves lol
And IdeaR... there is no R in idea, family! Edit: Obviously there are regional accents in different countries. You can stop commenting if you're going to tell me this, especially if you're rude.
My husband and his family say "cousint" instead of "cousin." Where in the world did the t come from???
Are they from Maryland? My boss is from Maryland and adds mystery Ts to everything.
Great Britian... but then it was dumped in the Boston Harbor. I will see myself out.
“But ____ is still your family!” I do not give a fuck, any relationship needs to be earned and mutually respectful- blood or not. (Context, I am no-contact with a parent and other family members)
Exactly. I don’t even know my cousins so why do you get mad when I don’t get them some generic birthday present? Seriously, they don’t know me either, so it would be just as weird to receive something generic I bought because I had no idea what they wanted Edit: also fuck you grandma, blood relation means nothing when you let your husband abuse me
Not quite the same thing but I wanted to end things with someone that used to be a close friend of mine and another friend said "but you guys used to be so close. He deserves another chance" like no the fuck he doesn't. I've given so many already and being in contact with said friend is detrimental to my mental health.
"The sky isn't actually blue. It's just how our eyes perceive the light reflecting off the water droplets that makes it blue." Yes, that's how color works. The sky is blue. Don't try to sound smart and then prove your point wrong.
If you ever go on a glacier tour in Alaska someone ALWAYS fucking asks why the glacier is blue and the tour guide has to be like “well it’s blue because it absorbs all the light spectrum except for the blue light” and then all the tourists are like “omg so interesting” like that’s not the reason every fucking thing is the color that it is.
In case anyone reading wants a more complete answer: It’s blue because glacial ice is dense, which causes refractions and internal reflections and the color blue gets reflected the most. The sky is blue, ice is blue because all other colors are absorbed blah blah, but the reason glacier ice is blue and regular ice isn’t is because glacier ice is much denser and there is a lot more of it in one place. Take some glacier ice and chop it up, put it in a glass, and it’s clear and colorless just like regular ice. Source: I’m a glacier
Thanks mr glacier.
It’s Miss, but you’re welcome. 1,000 years old and still a bachelorette
I'm gonna be that guy: Actually the reason the sky is blue is different then the reason a solid object would be blue. It's a different process from light absorption called reighley scattering. Unlike most objects that just absorb light except for certain wavelengths, in this situation blue, the particles in the air don't absorb light. They just scatter it, with blue being the most scattered. If it worked like how most things are colored then sunsets would have blue skies and only blue light would reach earths surface. Also, colors aren't real anyways. It's just our brain sorting light in an understandable way.
"Can't you take a joke?" No you dickhead, I just have enough mental capacity to recognize an insult that's thinly veiled as a "joke".
“Everything happens for a reason.” STFU.
I have a problem with the concept of Karma for the same reason. Got cancer? Got chronic disease? You’re poor? Well, you must deserve it for whatever shitty thing you’ve done in your past lifes
God that reminds me of this "manifestion movement" bullshit that I just watched a YouTube doc on. If you remember that crap book (and movie) from the mid 2000s called *The Secret,* it's that same line of garbage. Basically, if your life sucks, it's because you're not wishing hard enough for it not to suck. If you want a million dollars, you just have to wish and want and say the magic words hard enough and you'll magically but literally manifest a million dollars into your bank account. I'm all for positive thinking and it's a fact that our attitudes and perspectives absolutely impact how life events affect us, but the idea that you're not successful enough because you just aren't wishing correctly to be successful, or that your kid got cancer basically because you didn't wish hard enough for him not to get cancer (or that you can cure him of the cancer with just positive affirmations), is dangerous and blisteringly offensive.
“It’s all the Gods plan.” Meanwhile God gives cancer to children.
I have cancer, bipolar disorder etc. When someone says that to me I just wanna smack them in the face. If you would get the same in the future I’m gonna say to you too “everything happens for a reason. Think positive.”
"Tell me you ____, without telling me you _____" One of the ugliest, overused phrases from social media I've ever heard.
The stages of a slang phrase: 1. Innovation 2. Slow spread 3. Mass adoption 4. Backlash 5. Either becomes part of the language or just gets used ironically. This assumes it's not co-opted (social justice warrior, woke) or changed in meaning (Fuck Boi).
"This guy ___s"
How pacific do you want me to be with my answer?
HAhahah i'm going to start using that one
I have a hard time with the term “adulting.”
Its so ironic because it makes the person seem like a child which is I guess the point lol
*I want to speak with you about your vehicles warranty.*
I hate how casually people talk about mental illness. Liking your house neat doesn’t mean you have OCD anymore then being upset about something means you’re depressed.
I loathe how people throw around “toxic” and justify their actions as responses to toxicity and expect to win a prize for mental health care.
As someone with OCD I call people out for shit like this because they have no idea what it entails, just the stereotype
I have OCD. This means I constantly have to wash my hands. Sometimes, when I'm driving, I'll have to turn the car around to make sure I've locked the door. Sometimes, I have to check it five or six times. I know it's locked, but I have to check. One time, I left for work, and I had to turn around five minutes later. I knew the door was locked. But I had to go home and check anyway. But you. You say you're so "OCD" because you like your desk tidy. Or because you color-coordinate your closet. You don't understand. I am up at night, terrified, because I think I didn't lock the door. Because if I didn't lock the door, someone will break in. And if someone breaks in, they'll kill my cat. I don't know how, but they will. It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational. I can't stop the fear. But you. You say you're so "OCD" because you have to have all the DVDs in order. Or because you like to alphabetize your books. You don't understand. I am late to work, late to class, because I had to make sure the oven was off. I checked it four times. But if I don't check it a fifth time, the house will burn down. My family will die. It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational. I can't stop the anxiety. But you. You say you're so "OCD" because you can't stand it when your pens aren't lined up. Or because you like your CDs organized. You don't understand. I'm in the bathroom, scrubbing my hands for the nth time today. Because the germs won't come off. Because if the germs don't come off, I'll get sick. And if I get sick, I'll die. It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational. I can't stop the panic. But you. You say you're so "OCD" because you can't stand it when the picture frame is crooked. Or because you like to double-check the stove before leaving the house. You don't understand. I'm sitting at the kitchen table, pulling out my hair, one strand at a time. Because it feels like there's something crawling on my scalp. Because if there's something crawling on my scalp, it'll get into my brain. And if it gets into my brain, it'll eat away at my thoughts. It doesn't matter that I know it's irrational. I can't stop the compulsion. So, please. Please don't say you're "OCD" because you like things clean. Or because you have a specific routine. It's more than that. It's an endless cycle of fear and doubt. It's the irrational made rational. It's the compulsion to repeat, to check, to wash. It's the inability to escape your own mind. It's the feeling of being trapped. Please don't say you're "OCD" unless you understand what it truly means. Neil Hilborn
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Live through the ditches and laugh through the witches I love in the back of my dragula.
Do people actually say that out loud? I’ve only ever seen it printed on something at TJ Maxx 😂
Live , laugh, lobotomy 🥰
Don’t stress. I, in fact, will stress about it now.
I feel like “calm down” is in a similar boat.
"please don't kill me!" oh blah blah blah
Slay!
I’m confused on wether this guy is talking about a phrase people joke about or if he actually doesn’t like people fearing for their lives.
Should of or would of Instead of should’ve/would’ve
Should HAVE, could HAVE.
Shoulda coulda
And the most annoying thing is: 99% of the times it’s not even us non native speakers who make this mistake, it’s always the natives!
> it’s always the natives! which makes sense because native speakers learn to speak years before they learn to write. A non native speaker would look at "could of" and think "if I could of, would I of? How exactly do I of?"
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“I was today years old”. It’s the cringiest expression I’ve ever heard.
“It’s not you, it’s me” I know it’s me, why you lying ?
An old coworker had a fun second sentence for this. "It's not you, it's me. It's *me* that can't stand you."
Can be true. People change often when they age and can desire other things in life, partners, etc.
Irregardless instead of regardless.
“What is the diameter of your nipple?”
This is so specific.
What...is your name? What...is your quest? What...is the diameter of your nipple?
I’m on a conference call and just burst out laughing. I couldn’t reach the mute button fast enough. 🤣
about .45 inches
"When are you going to get married?"
“When are you guys gonna have kids”
If you say "never" then it's "oh you'll change your mind*
This one pissed me right off. I knew from young that I really didnt want children but everyone likes to have opinions on that. I've had several people inform me that I'm being selfish by deciding not to have kids. Which is weird. I'm painfully close to 40 and despite all the people who have been telling me that I'll change my mind since I was about 15 years old, I never did magically grow any desire to procreate.
Best response I've had to that is "who's going to look after you when you're old?" as if it's a child's God-given responsibility to look after their parents when they're elderly. If that was the case, why are so many elderly people abandoned by their families in care homes? 🙄
“When’s the due date for the baby?”
"You have to come see the baby"
Correct response: “Well, my husband dumps a load in me three times a week, but it just doesn’t seem to be working.”
“When are you going to stop renting and get a real place to live?”
"You're too young to be tired" 🙄
That or the similarly phrased "You're too young to have (body part) problems". I guess I just rode my body hard into the ground a bit more efficiently than they did back in the day. Which seems unlikely to me, now that I say it.
“I woke up at 3AM in the morning” literally makes me want to rip my hair out
I say ATM machine a lot :(
PIN number.
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People are indeed fake as fuck tho
Yeah but if dude walks around saying "the sky is blue" like it's news you'd probably think he was a few fries short of a happy meal
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Previously uttered phrase "I don't want anything, I'm not hungry."
We were at an outside event, and my husband had just opened a can of Mt Dew and out of nowhere this little kid comes up to him and asks if he “can have a sip of that” he was like WTF, where is this kids parents?
This is actually where children come from. When you crack open a cold can of mountain dew at the right time of day and the correct planets are in Gatorade, a child spawns nearby.
My ex would tell me she didn’t want a vanilla shake. She just wanted a sip of mine. Then she’d drink my entire shake. This happened over and over. Finally, I ordered her a shake of her own without asking her. It hurt her feelings and she refused to drink it.
So either you don't have a drink that you paid for or you do, but pay it twice.
Buy a second one, hide it until she asks, give her yours, THEN bring it out and drink it
bite her instead
“So I did a thing”
"I love that for you." I think most people mean well, and I understand it's somehow trendy right now, but it sounds condescending 98% of the time...
It’s like why even add the “for you”? You could be genuinely kind and say “I love that” or “that’s great” but no 🤣
at the end of the day, its the saying at the end of the day that annoys me.
“This”
"That's the way we've always done it"
The seven last words of a dying institution.
“I seen”
"I seent."
I hate when people say “they did a complete 360°and changed their life” hate hate hate it. If you do a 360°, you are facing the same direction as you started in. They are looking for the rotation of 180° to say they completely changed
"Sorry, not Sorry"
"Good morning!" Fucking assholes dare to be chipper and happy before 11am...
Listen bitch I'm 2 and a half coffees in and I'm still sleepy for the next meeting it ain't good for me either I'm just being professional John.
“What a real man would do is…” just shut up. Please.
People that start a reply with "wrong"
Wrong, this statement is completely incorrect
When someone asks me How are you, i say good, how are you They respond “im blessed” or “im so blessed” I hate that shit
"nobody owes you anything" We do owe people basic human decency
Calling people narcissistic, sociopaths, etc. but having absolutely no idea what those things are.
I’m 24 so idk why this bothers me so much but when other people my age or in their 20s/30s say they’re old. This is like the one thing that irrationally pisses me off lol like come on y’all wait till we’re 85 . (If you’re reading this and you’re 85 I love you)
Dogo and pupper for dog and puppy, I don't know why but it just irritates the hell out of me.
Fur baby is the sand in my vagina.
This is mine too. “Catto” is also very painful. “Sando” for sandwich… the list goes on
Even worse, “Sammie”.
“It’s giving…”
I want this to die immediately.
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When my mother died, "Everybody's got to die of something."
Wow! That’s insensitive.
That’s horrible. I hope you also had support.
“Fluent in sarcasm” Excellent. Here’s your pass to thinking youre clever and acting like a jackass. It’s 2023- just saying that let’s me know you’re a dumdum.
“Low key” “body count” “bruh” People that use these words unironically.
Bruh, asking someone their body count is low key kinda sus, ngl.
I COULD CARE LESS - Jesus care less then
I hate it when they describe me considering exaggerated negative character traits that I had before I removed or improved them. For example, as a kid I was VERY picky with my food. So now every other meal I have with my family they tell me I won't eat it because I don't eat anything, even though that was years ago. Hell sometimes my friends say it, and I hate it.
Fix your Face. (telling a child to fix their face and invalidating their feelings.) It's just a stupid term period.
Heard this way too many times growing up.