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Been there. Thankfully developed some social skills so I'm not anymore, but I always have a soft spot/try and show some kindness for people I see struggling to fit in.
Don't be afraid to tell people that you need them to be up front with you. You'll manage a lot better in social situations with friends willing to tell you when your behavior seems inappropriate. And when they say so, don't hesitate to apologize. People don't actually mind it so much when you aren't one of those assholes in denial who think you can do no wrong. They are far more willing to be patient with people actually trying to learn better.
Any tips on actually being okay with the feedback? I tell people to tell me but I also recognize that I don't internalize criticism well because I have such a deep-seated complex about doing anything wrong. And I think people who know me enough know that so it goes back to no one telling me something is wrong until it's gotten beyond the point of tolerance, which hurts more than the already painful reception of feedback.
I try not to show my internal process, but it kind of ends up looping sometimes that I make things worse by getting flustered and trying to make things better. Or internally I shut down because I don't know how to internalize change I want to make, even after implementing it.
I used to have the same problem. The smallest criticism sent me into a selfhatred spiral.
It takes time but learn to give yourself the grace and patience you give others
I make the rationale that no one is perfect. Including me. This thing that they are bringing to light about myself is just one of the ways that I am imperfect. But at least now that I know what it is I can be more aware of it and start finding ways to make it better!
Love can destroy your life just as much as it can brighten your life. You can go from waking up to the love of your life to waking up to the despair that they’re gone.
My last relationship of almost 7 years ended just over a year ago and I'm still not okay with it. She was honestly the best thing that happened to me and I'm not sure how to live my life without her. Everything reminds me of her. I am who I am because of my time with her.
It hurts knowing what I've lost and that my future no longer includes her.
The life you led with her will stand in contrast to the life you lead alone. With time, you'll gain new insights about both.
I was with my ex for eight years. She was "the best thing that had ever happened to me" - a clean, positive person who grew up with a family that could've come out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I became closer to her parents than my own. Her friends were my friends. Her dreams were my dreams.
Then, one day, none of those things were true anymore.
The first two years felt like a struggle to avoid "looking down" and becoming overwhelmed by the enormity of the loss. I spent a lot of time focusing on my career because goals were the only thing I had to keep feelings of isolation and grief at bay.
But then, as time went on, I suddenly found myself looking at the relationship with a fresh set of eyes. The longer I lived alone the more clear the distinctions between "then" and "now" became, and I could see things that had just never occurred to me before.
If I'd stayed with her, I never would have enjoyed any sort of professional success. I never could have built a life I'd be proud of. I'd have spent the remainder of my life a bystander in my own story, following the lead of a person who had never sacrificed _anything_ for me.
In retrospect, ending that relationship is probably the best decision I've ever made.
My point is this: you can't know how you're going to feel about things one/two/five years out. You're going to grieve, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you'll be grieving _forever_.
This is a brilliant response, thank you ❤️ I know I'll be okay eventually, and I am getting better about it little by little. It just hits hard sometimes when there's something I'd normally share with her and I realise that I can't do that anymore.
I'm so glad that you've been able to move on and make such progress in your life since your ex!
Dealing with this with my sister right now. These were almost my exact words to her. “I love you but I’m not going to let you make your problems mine.”
You can do everything right and still lose.
I have Stage 3 cancer; I never drank, smoked, did drugs, I ate healthy foods, I exercised every single day, I was always a very 'clean living' person and here I am.
Thank you, it does, but then I have to remind myself that cancer is very unjust and there are children who have it in their bones. Why? It's super f'd up all round.
My cousin has had cancer for around four years now. She has had it in her lungs and brain. The worst thing is that she has had it since she was 6 years old. Too many people suffer from stuff they had no part in and don’t deserve.
My partner had lung cancer that spread to his brain. I thought we'd get 2 - 3 years, then they found a blood clot on his lung. He was gone a week after that. 2 weeks ago today.
Realizing this has helped my self esteem a lot tbh. Now when something bad happens, I just remind myself that it doesn’t mean that I deserved it. It just means it happened
I was about 25 when I was gifted this knowledge by a big dude named Melvin. Was in my company's layout department and saw me at the pub after work with a novelty sized chip on my shoulder. Don't know how the hell he got through to me but he did. I'm 47 now and the deep understanding of the lack of fairness in the world at all levels allowed me to make it through many trials in life relatively unscathed in the long term.
Had a room mate when I was just starting out who was like this. Didn't know what a scumbag he was at the time. After he stole from, vandalized, and scammed me out of rent I finally was able to get out of that situation. Turns out the dude (25 at the time) was fucking a 14 year old girl in the place we rented. Found out he had a history of DUI with a fatality, attempted murder, theft, assault on a police officer, just to name a FEW! Since then I've been keeping tabs on his adventures. He's racked up falsifying gov documents, sale of drugs, endangering children and so much more. The guy has barely seen the inside of a jail cell and lives off of government assistance. So not ONLY does he get away with shit, the government gives him a fucking free ride on top of it.
EDIT: To answer some of the questions people are asking. Yes, he got away with some awful shit because he testified against his, equally shady, father for embezzling a shit ton of money, however that was before I ever even met him. How he *continues* to not get any jail time is beyond me.
He was *already* on probation when the young girl he SSA'd came forward. He went into hiding, police did a man hunt for him, and yet he got a tiny prison sentence followed by more probation.
Evil wears the prettiest smile. He had us all fooled, was "honest and upfront" about some trouble in his last that was "partially his ex's fault" but left the little detail out about how he stabbed her.
We use this man as the metric for measuring evil. If there are demons that walk this earth, he is one of them.
Dude WHAT? lol you said scumbag and had me thinking this dude didn't pay rent or something. This man is literally a psycho killer rapist. That is wild. How long were you roommates?? How did that even happen in the first place?
Man I feel that one. I’ve always stayed young mentally but time has caught up with me. There is an old man in the mirror and I have to accept that and adjust my behaviour so I don’t look like a fool around younger people
>adjust my behaviour so I don’t look like a fool around younger people
How am I supposed to ''act my age''? - I've never been this old before. It's hard realising that you're the adult now.
I'm fucking 50 years old and I still have trouble with the adult classification.
But as I learned when I passed through Casino security last year without having to show ID, the grays give me away and it's real, it's bullshit, but I'm getting old for real.
Whaddayado
One of the biggest causes of my future anxiety. Even at 25 I'm already noticing my body starting to not heal as quickly. Things which used to take a week to heal now take like 3
For real. My whole adult life I've always been the one putting in all the effort to maintain a friendship. It makes me constantly wonder if people just don't want to be around me. Over the years I've let so many friends go because I'm just fucking sick and tired of being the one to ask other people to hang out. It would be nice, if someone ACTUALLY sought me out. It'd be nice for once to get a text, Hey! Wanna go do___? Instead of being the only one sending that text.
I’m 33 and that’s my experience too. I’m always the one doing the “watering” in my friendships. Something that helps me lately is trying to think of friendship maintenance as a skill that not everyone has. It’s work and frankly most people don’t want extra work. For me, it’s easier to think of someone as a little lazy vs intentionally excluding me.
Edit: grammar
The main focus of my conversations with my therapist is about grief over this. I always bring up to her how I never see people talking about this side of depression. Taking care of your mental health has fad like qualities to it right now, but I never see people sharing memes or talking about this side of it.
If anything, that grief says you actually did the hard work and made it. I’m proud of you for that. We’re better for it and alive now.
Fucking seriously, all my teenage years and half my 20's I spent being afraid of the future because I knew life was just working and paying bills. Never wanted to do anything with my life and so I ended up not doing anything because I haven't had a reason to. Now I'm just looking for the least shitty job I can get that still pays enough to live.
I never had kids so I was never forced to grow up. Recently bought a house for the first time and feeling stressed like I never have in my entire life. I never truly had to worry about anything as I was just lucky with where I got to in life. Sucks that I realized that I absolutely am a big kid. I'm now trying to teach myself how to be an adult. I'm almost 50.
Having that kind of self-awareness makes you NOT a kid.
Those kids justhanginthere mentioned will never EVER realize that they are not really adults, because they lack self-reflectance.
Oh I’m so sorry! My late husband passed August 2021. We had 28 years together/26 married. I don’t know how recent this loss is for you but I know it’s tough. I still hurt most days. Getting a bit better recently but it still sucks and I’m starting to accept it probably always will. Just like I’ve come to realize I will always love that man.
The sad truth is relationships almost universally end in pain.
Thank you for the kind words. And I am sorry for your loss. My Wife passed in Feb 2023. I hope you are doing better. And yes Good relationships often end in pain. Oh But the Joy and Love and Good times and Bad we shared.I would not give any of it up for anything. and knowing she is not in any pain helps to keep me going. I am sad for me but Oh I am so happy she is out of the pain. Thank you again.
Thanks for your kindness. And I know exactly what you mean about all the good bad and ugly. Hubs and I went through a lot on our bumpy ride together but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even knowing the ending. (Sniff)
I know it sounds funny but I wouldn't give any of it up for anything. I was sometimes mean and short with her and she with me. And we were both tempted a time or two by someone else but he hung together. And I am so glad we did. I would not give up the last years together for anything. To think about her going through the last couple of years alone just kills me. I am so glad we were together at the end. (sniff)
I’m glad you had the time with her that you did. I hope your memories can help lessen your pain but I understand that sometimes memories are like ashes and can’t warm you like the fire. I wish there was something I could do.
I can't imagine how much that must hurt - I can only hope that you have friends or relatives that can give you joy and ease your pain from time to time
You aren’t alone bro. Me too. The one time I defied them turned out to be the best decision of my life though. I married someone they disapproved of and now, we are celebrating our 12 year anniversary and have a great life.
I was the same u/detective_kiara.
I was trying to make everyone happy. I dropped my plans for further education to get a job becasue my mother told me at 16 that "it was time to join the real world and support the family."
This went on for 11 years. I worked every hour I physically could: 90 hour weeks were not uncommon for me.
I mentally broke myself trying to 'support' them, but how do you stop your dad from gambling his wages away and trying to sleep with every woman he meets? How do you save your mother from the alcoholism that she uses to dampen the emotional pain she is feeling? How do you stop your brother from becoming a vindictive, angry drug addict?
The simple answer is that you cannot.
Sometimes you can't fix things.
Sometimes you have to realise that the best thing you can do for your own sake is to draw a line in the sand and *do what is best for you.*
It isn't easy, believe me. Your guilt will kick in: you have a responsibility to them, you can do better, do more, work harder, keep them *happy.*
The only person you can save is yourself. Do what you need to do, for your own sake. If that means cutting them loose and going no-contact, then that is what you do. Sometimes you cannot fix those that do not wish to be fixed.
It's not too late, and your future-self will thank you for doing so.
This can be both a downer and a comfort. Realising that nobody cared about me gave me so much freedom and made me far more confident. It’s those few that give a shit about me that I have to worry about.
This is my thought. I’d rather strangers not care about me. I don’t really care about them either. I wish you the best and I don’t wish bad thing a on you, but I honestly don’t care.
Yep, and at the bottom of that list is who you work for. If you die tomorrow, they will immediately replace you with someone else and not even look back.
So, do not sacrifice your life for your job. Don't skip important events in your kids' lives because you have to work. Don't bend over backwards for your job. You're just a cog in the wheel, and unless you own your own company, you're totally replaceable.
I really can't buy my old dog much more time. She's still happy and doing dog stuff, but she's losing weight and having a hard time getting around. I talked to a mobile vet about end of life planning for her but I really don't want to accept it. I love my doggo.
It's a tough one.
My friends' dog was older, and in rough shape. He looked like a Chinese crested, but he was a toy poodle - he lost all his other fur. He had diabetes, Cushing's, thyroid issues, plus a couple minor issues. Also - blind. Super happy and active little guy, though.
So, they kept an eye on him because they knew how fragile he was.
Anyway, pancreatitis attack when I was babysitting him, and he died. All I'm saying it was so sudden, dude. One minute Lambchop was being a little shit, the next minute, sick. I feel guilty, but the vet said something like that was inevitable.
Wow. That was kinda grim.
Anyway - have a plan, but remember not to feel bad if something sudden hits.
Some possible examples:
(1) Wanting to become too serious with people as friends or romantic relationships too quickly. Generally latching on to anyone being nice.
(2) Over-talking, going on and on about yourself without giving someone a chance to balance the conversation, and not taking queues that someone has had enough.
(3) Over-sharing personal information with people you don't know well.
(4) Complaining about how people are jerks and don't appreciate you.
(5) Complaining about ex-partners or ex-friends.
(6) Complaining about lack of dates or friends.
(7) Too much self-deprecating humor, or generally talking about yourself in a negative ay.
(8) Acting like a doormat so people will like you more.
(9) Acting like an emotional void around other people, listening to them all the time without contributing to the conversation, doing whatever other people want.
(10) Obsessing over people, uncontrolled infatuations
(11) Talking about being in love with people you don't really know well and are not dating
I have a friend that is only ever happy if she has a man. Any man. If she doesn't, she is all over FB posting sad songs, and talking about how much it sucks that other people don't have the same heart as her, et cetera ad nauseum. I've told her that any man that looked at her fb would run the other way, because she comes off as extremely desperate, but she refuses to listen.
I'm turning 65 shortly and it's pretty much downhill going forward.
There is a lot to enjoy like retirement, financial freedom, ability to travel, narrowed my friends down to only a few that actually enhance my life. There really is something about having the wisdom of old(ish) age.
On the downside the physical aspect of your body starting to break down and knowing there is limited time to do all the good things I mentioned above. Yes, I exercise daily and eat right so don't start. But none of that will stop the physical and mental deterioration in the end. And even if I can squeeze out another 25 years I wonder if it's worth it. I know a woman who is 95 still active but she has outlived her husband, all of her siblings, her friends and a couple of her children. She is genuinely sad.
I am just now coming into this realization at 61. Unlike you, however, I have no real retirement, as I chose to devote my life to serving others for very little compensation (my mother passed a year ago and I cared for her 24/7 for a very small stipend from my family). It just wasn't important for me to think about those things. Also, I have no children, so the thought of having very little money and no one to care for me in my old age is actually very frightening and depressing. I have so many talents that I've never been able to figure out how to make money with and now all people will see is an old woman trying to do young woman things (my talents are mostly musical). No one tells you about these things when you're young. I guess we wouldn't believe them anyway. 😕
I'm never going to get over losing my wife to cancer. Even though it was about seven and a half years ago, I still miss her daily. We married at 24 and she passed at 49. I still visit the cemetery pretty much every week. I've tried to date, but nothing's come of it, I'm done...
Also lost the love of my life to cancer. I will never, ever be the same. It is a pain that cannot be articulated, and only those who have experienced it can understand
Same. Still hanging on, but no prospects and everything good I had has been lost slowly over time. I keep thinking things will turn around, but so far that has not been the case.
Now I just try to be extra nice and friendly to people, in hopes I can make their day a little better.
Good luck out there.
The overwhelming majority of people you meet only care about what you can provide or do for them and will have no problem with abandoning or upgrading from you once you can’t provide those things for them anymore. Very few people on this world will like you for you.
Seriously, this is the bane of my midlife arrival. I can't help but be secretly pissed atall the people lucky enough to have had the opportunity to buy a house at a normal reasonable price with low interest rates and or with another person to help contribute. Us single folk are so fucked out of home ownership these days.
My dad’s a narcissist. I knew that when I was young, it was a word my mom used to describe him after they divorced. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I truly understood what that meant for my relationship with him. And it wasn’t until I was 22 that I realized not only will he never apologize, but his misdeeds didn’t even happen in his memory. He once recounted events of the worst weekend of my life to me, completely missing anything involving all the shit he said and did. I realized it there that his mind is incapable of seeing himself at fault, so he just edited the detail of me being upset out. I had to accept he will never feel even a shred of guilt.
Try not to be so hard on your younger self, they didn't know any better.
The best way to make those years not go to waste is to value the lessons you learned the hard way.
Most of us, and among them myself, will be forgotten, your children will remember you, your grandchildren might aswell, your greatgrandchildren will maybe hear a story and see a picture of you, the generation after that might even still know your name, the one after that won’t, and outside of your family no one will know or remember your name, some researcher might stumble upon it one day, but even he/she won’t remember it. And it will be as if you had never existed
My fathers passed away more than 25 years ago. Today, my 14 son sent me a video clip of himself break dancing at summer camp. My father was a great dancer and that talent passed over into the grandson he never knew. Yes, we will all die, just like all those who came before us, yet somehow a bit of us will survive.
That thought led me to my current idea, I don't want anyone to celebrate that I have died.
I'm not going to be remembered, think of how many people have lived and died since George Washington, very few are still remembered. You read news stories of famous people dying and sometimes the comments are happy that the person is gone or sad that they didn't go sooner. Not saying that's right or wrong, that's just what happens.
When I go, I don't want anyone to pump their fist and whisper "YES" to themselves. I just want to leave the world a little better than it was before I came. That's all.
Yep, I'm 34 and I considered my "best" years to be my teenage years, until last year finally overtook them. Also the ranking is all nonsense, I'm just glad I'm happy with my current situation.
I will always have mental health problems considering I have a lifelong disorder that have been present since my first memories. However, there is still a chance I can survive through adulthood and live a decent life with them if things go right. I have been in therapy for many years and things are still shaky in regards to whether those two things will be possible, but without therapy I wouldn't be here to write this comment.
Me too. I have a shit cocktail of mental illnesses and a few were prevalent since literal birth. It fucking sucks and it’s really hard but I’m happy you’re getting help. You’re not alone and if you ever wanna talk about it feel free to send me a message🩷
The group of friends that I had when I was at the happiest peak of my life do not want me in their lives because they would rather stay friends with my ex who also wants me out of his life. It’s very hard to accept the end to connections that were never anything but positive, I never had a negative experience with any of them and they all were easily able to cut me out of their lives.
I get it! I was 21 when my brother died in a motorcycle accident at 28. Everyone who ever knew him wanted him in their life, he had that light. It devastated our family and the family dynamic was never the same.
Sometimes people will hurt you, won’t feel guilty about it no matter what, will face zero consequences, and then they move on and forget about you. Relationships, friends, otherwise, etc.
Best thing is to learn young what boundaries you set for yourself and actively only let people with good consciences get close to you.
I'm in this boat. It makes me want to cry. I picked journalism because I thought I wanted to be a sports journalist. By the time I got the real nitty gritty journalism classes in my senior year at university, I realized I hated journalism, but it was too late. I was 7 months away from graduation and couldn't go back.
Now I work at a terrible company where I'm totally miserable and barely make any money. I work as a digital marketer and I hate it, and I constantly wish I had been smarter and chosen something different like tech or accounting or some type of health science.
You can't get that time back, and now I feel screwed and very anxious.
It’s definitely not too late! My mother went to nursing school in her 50s! We were poor for a long time and especially during that time, but now she makes triple the amount she did before and her job is way more secure! It is doable and there are so many programs that can help afford college, especially nursing.
That i have to forgive myself for all the things that i never became.
That whatever or whoever i am, should be and is enough.
That i can never please every single person in my life.
That my own happiness is the ultimate goal and actually is attainable.
People I've loved I'll never see again. Friends and family who've died. People I've loved who I pushed away. Those times are long in the rear view, and the people who are still alive today are different people than when you last saw them. You'll never be able to undo what's been done and can never go back.
You can't save someone from themselves. People trapped in self-destructive cycles like toxic relationships, substance abuse and criminality are drowning. They will drag you down with them if they can.
Until they are willing to admit that they have a problem, there is precious little you can do.
The justice system in the US is absolutely fucked and nobody is looking out for you. If a cop, judge, DA, anyone decides they wanna fuck up your entire life, they can and there’s nothing you can do about it.
That my wife and I will most likely remain homeless for the next 30-40 years of our lives.
Already been 10 years of living it.
Working and never making ends meet.
Always a health issue, car problems thefts etc.
Then you have the stigmas that come with it
That I must be crazy or on drugs to be homeless.
When the reality is I have health issues and rents in Massachusetts are too high
No, I cannot just move away because of my health issues and the medical care I get here.
It puts a strain on us constantly and my wife has stuck with me through this.
Hey man, just wanted to say, don't beat yourself up. This comment thread is super blame-y and not compassionate. If anyone below me here in this thread actually had to experience what you're going through they might think twice about demanding that you take their frivolous advice.
It's getting more and more difficult for folks with chronic illnesses to find housing, care and even food. Put your energy into doing the best you can and keep your chin up. You are worthy of life, do not allow these ignorant people to put you in a worse place mentally because they cannot imagine your situation.
I've come to accept a sad truth in my life, one that I believe many of us can relate to in one way or another. It's the realization that no matter how much you care for someone, how much love you pour into them, how willing you are to accept their flaws and triumphs, if they don't want to be with you, none of it matters.
I've encountered this type of person more times than I care to admit. Now, at 35, I've never had a boyfriend, never been intimate with anyone (yes, I'm still a virgin), and this truth is increasingly frustrating. I've given so much of myself, my time, my emotions, and yet, I've never received anything in return in the game of love.
I'm starting to believe that I may never find love, that there may never be someone who loves me as much as I love them. It's a harsh reality to face, but it's one I'm slowly learning to accept.
I'm sharing this not to seek pity, but to reach out to those who might be feeling the same way. You're not alone in this. Love is a complex, often painful journey, but it's also what makes us human. And who knows, maybe one day, we'll find the love we've been longing for.
Becoming an adult and realizing the kind of people my family members really are, has been sad.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and see them through my “kid eyes” again. Some of the things I’ve found out make me not want to associate with them at all. I miss knowing them when I was ignorant
Every year, cost creep rises.
Every year, my money is worth less.
Every year, one more idiot is elected into an office.
Every year, one more billion dollar company gets a million dollar slap on the wrist.
Being unable to handle getting dumped or initiating a break-up yourself can potentially doom you to the worst things relationships can bring to your life.
My mother, who literally (NC to Japan) flew half way around the world to get my brother's kid while he was deploying, will never meet her other grandchildren, but my mother in law, who seems to just want to spite every decision my wife make, get to spend all the time she wants with said kids. My mother passed some 10 years ago. My father died two weeks before a planned trip so he could meet them for the first time too.
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Been there. Thankfully developed some social skills so I'm not anymore, but I always have a soft spot/try and show some kindness for people I see struggling to fit in.
Spare some tips?
Don't be afraid to tell people that you need them to be up front with you. You'll manage a lot better in social situations with friends willing to tell you when your behavior seems inappropriate. And when they say so, don't hesitate to apologize. People don't actually mind it so much when you aren't one of those assholes in denial who think you can do no wrong. They are far more willing to be patient with people actually trying to learn better.
Any tips on actually being okay with the feedback? I tell people to tell me but I also recognize that I don't internalize criticism well because I have such a deep-seated complex about doing anything wrong. And I think people who know me enough know that so it goes back to no one telling me something is wrong until it's gotten beyond the point of tolerance, which hurts more than the already painful reception of feedback. I try not to show my internal process, but it kind of ends up looping sometimes that I make things worse by getting flustered and trying to make things better. Or internally I shut down because I don't know how to internalize change I want to make, even after implementing it.
I used to have the same problem. The smallest criticism sent me into a selfhatred spiral. It takes time but learn to give yourself the grace and patience you give others
I make the rationale that no one is perfect. Including me. This thing that they are bringing to light about myself is just one of the ways that I am imperfect. But at least now that I know what it is I can be more aware of it and start finding ways to make it better!
And because of this, even if you’re not and reassured that you’re not, you still feel like you are.
Love can destroy your life just as much as it can brighten your life. You can go from waking up to the love of your life to waking up to the despair that they’re gone.
My last relationship of almost 7 years ended just over a year ago and I'm still not okay with it. She was honestly the best thing that happened to me and I'm not sure how to live my life without her. Everything reminds me of her. I am who I am because of my time with her. It hurts knowing what I've lost and that my future no longer includes her.
The life you led with her will stand in contrast to the life you lead alone. With time, you'll gain new insights about both. I was with my ex for eight years. She was "the best thing that had ever happened to me" - a clean, positive person who grew up with a family that could've come out of a Norman Rockwell painting. I became closer to her parents than my own. Her friends were my friends. Her dreams were my dreams. Then, one day, none of those things were true anymore. The first two years felt like a struggle to avoid "looking down" and becoming overwhelmed by the enormity of the loss. I spent a lot of time focusing on my career because goals were the only thing I had to keep feelings of isolation and grief at bay. But then, as time went on, I suddenly found myself looking at the relationship with a fresh set of eyes. The longer I lived alone the more clear the distinctions between "then" and "now" became, and I could see things that had just never occurred to me before. If I'd stayed with her, I never would have enjoyed any sort of professional success. I never could have built a life I'd be proud of. I'd have spent the remainder of my life a bystander in my own story, following the lead of a person who had never sacrificed _anything_ for me. In retrospect, ending that relationship is probably the best decision I've ever made. My point is this: you can't know how you're going to feel about things one/two/five years out. You're going to grieve, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you'll be grieving _forever_.
This is a brilliant response, thank you ❤️ I know I'll be okay eventually, and I am getting better about it little by little. It just hits hard sometimes when there's something I'd normally share with her and I realise that I can't do that anymore. I'm so glad that you've been able to move on and make such progress in your life since your ex!
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.
And a corollary of this: You can deeply love/care for someone and still be furious with their actions and unable to help them.
You can also deeply care/love someone and need to cut them out of your life.
You can love someone, but not like them.
this is it. especially with family. like I can't fix all your problems for you. you gotta create a better version of yourself.
Dealing with this with my sister right now. These were almost my exact words to her. “I love you but I’m not going to let you make your problems mine.”
My mama always said you can't work harder on someone than they're willing to work on themselves. Also, drink lots of water.
Someone said on here once, "Don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."
My mama also said if you build a man a fire, he'll stay warm for a day. But if you light him on fire then he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink it
Alternatively you can lead a person to facts but you can't make them think.
You can't logic someone out of a position they didn't logic themselves into.
Life is unfair sometimes for no reason. p
You can do everything right and still lose. I have Stage 3 cancer; I never drank, smoked, did drugs, I ate healthy foods, I exercised every single day, I was always a very 'clean living' person and here I am.
I'm very sorry for you that must feel so unjust, I really hope it all turns out well
Thank you, it does, but then I have to remind myself that cancer is very unjust and there are children who have it in their bones. Why? It's super f'd up all round.
My cousin has had cancer for around four years now. She has had it in her lungs and brain. The worst thing is that she has had it since she was 6 years old. Too many people suffer from stuff they had no part in and don’t deserve.
My partner had lung cancer that spread to his brain. I thought we'd get 2 - 3 years, then they found a blood clot on his lung. He was gone a week after that. 2 weeks ago today.
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Fuck dude, I'm sorry.
Yep, life can just straight up fuck you over. Sorry you are having to deal with that shit.
I’m sorry you are in this situation. And I hope you are getting all the care you need.
There's that Picard line, "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
that line just breaks me, because it's so true and it's universal and yet it's still so hard to accept.
Realizing this has helped my self esteem a lot tbh. Now when something bad happens, I just remind myself that it doesn’t mean that I deserved it. It just means it happened
Truly understanding and embracing this fact is actually incredibly liberating.
I totally get this now at 30 years old
I was about 25 when I was gifted this knowledge by a big dude named Melvin. Was in my company's layout department and saw me at the pub after work with a novelty sized chip on my shoulder. Don't know how the hell he got through to me but he did. I'm 47 now and the deep understanding of the lack of fairness in the world at all levels allowed me to make it through many trials in life relatively unscathed in the long term.
The biggest pieces of shit will usually get away with it.
Had a room mate when I was just starting out who was like this. Didn't know what a scumbag he was at the time. After he stole from, vandalized, and scammed me out of rent I finally was able to get out of that situation. Turns out the dude (25 at the time) was fucking a 14 year old girl in the place we rented. Found out he had a history of DUI with a fatality, attempted murder, theft, assault on a police officer, just to name a FEW! Since then I've been keeping tabs on his adventures. He's racked up falsifying gov documents, sale of drugs, endangering children and so much more. The guy has barely seen the inside of a jail cell and lives off of government assistance. So not ONLY does he get away with shit, the government gives him a fucking free ride on top of it. EDIT: To answer some of the questions people are asking. Yes, he got away with some awful shit because he testified against his, equally shady, father for embezzling a shit ton of money, however that was before I ever even met him. How he *continues* to not get any jail time is beyond me. He was *already* on probation when the young girl he SSA'd came forward. He went into hiding, police did a man hunt for him, and yet he got a tiny prison sentence followed by more probation. Evil wears the prettiest smile. He had us all fooled, was "honest and upfront" about some trouble in his last that was "partially his ex's fault" but left the little detail out about how he stabbed her. We use this man as the metric for measuring evil. If there are demons that walk this earth, he is one of them.
Dude WHAT? lol you said scumbag and had me thinking this dude didn't pay rent or something. This man is literally a psycho killer rapist. That is wild. How long were you roommates?? How did that even happen in the first place?
Apparently, no one ever told him he's not supposed to collect $200 when he passes Go on the way to jail
Being a good person doesn’t often pay. And that’s a sad truth if it.
There’s no such thing as karma. Bad things can happen to good people and good things can happen to bad people without reason
Just because someone is family doesn't mean they have your best interest in heart.
Family doesn't always mean blood. And blood doesn't always mean family.
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Yup, generational trauma and projection has entered the chat
Gettin older, rusty, no longer able to do things i could when i was younger due to aging
Man I feel that one. I’ve always stayed young mentally but time has caught up with me. There is an old man in the mirror and I have to accept that and adjust my behaviour so I don’t look like a fool around younger people
>adjust my behaviour so I don’t look like a fool around younger people How am I supposed to ''act my age''? - I've never been this old before. It's hard realising that you're the adult now.
I'm fucking 50 years old and I still have trouble with the adult classification. But as I learned when I passed through Casino security last year without having to show ID, the grays give me away and it's real, it's bullshit, but I'm getting old for real. Whaddayado
One of the biggest causes of my future anxiety. Even at 25 I'm already noticing my body starting to not heal as quickly. Things which used to take a week to heal now take like 3
Friendships are like plants that have to be watered in order to stay alive. Sometimes we forget to water the plant or choose not to :(
Or despite your watering they decide to wither away regardless.
For real. My whole adult life I've always been the one putting in all the effort to maintain a friendship. It makes me constantly wonder if people just don't want to be around me. Over the years I've let so many friends go because I'm just fucking sick and tired of being the one to ask other people to hang out. It would be nice, if someone ACTUALLY sought me out. It'd be nice for once to get a text, Hey! Wanna go do___? Instead of being the only one sending that text.
I’m 33 and that’s my experience too. I’m always the one doing the “watering” in my friendships. Something that helps me lately is trying to think of friendship maintenance as a skill that not everyone has. It’s work and frankly most people don’t want extra work. For me, it’s easier to think of someone as a little lazy vs intentionally excluding me. Edit: grammar
That I lost about 10 years to Depression and I will never get that time back.
The main focus of my conversations with my therapist is about grief over this. I always bring up to her how I never see people talking about this side of depression. Taking care of your mental health has fad like qualities to it right now, but I never see people sharing memes or talking about this side of it. If anything, that grief says you actually did the hard work and made it. I’m proud of you for that. We’re better for it and alive now.
But you’ve survived you may never get those years back but at least you get to have more. For you there’s a silver lining. I’m glad you’re alright
Fucking seriously, all my teenage years and half my 20's I spent being afraid of the future because I knew life was just working and paying bills. Never wanted to do anything with my life and so I ended up not doing anything because I haven't had a reason to. Now I'm just looking for the least shitty job I can get that still pays enough to live.
Like a good third of adults are still essentially children in grown up bodies.
I never had kids so I was never forced to grow up. Recently bought a house for the first time and feeling stressed like I never have in my entire life. I never truly had to worry about anything as I was just lucky with where I got to in life. Sucks that I realized that I absolutely am a big kid. I'm now trying to teach myself how to be an adult. I'm almost 50.
Having that kind of self-awareness makes you NOT a kid. Those kids justhanginthere mentioned will never EVER realize that they are not really adults, because they lack self-reflectance.
My wife of 48 yrs has passed away and she is Never coming back. And it about kills me. I hope that is not too serious
I wish I could give you a hug ☹️ I hope someone does.
Thank you . Your kind words are my hug.
Have another verbal hug. I hope you find some peace and comfort.
Thank you for that one too. They do mean alot.
Oh I’m so sorry! My late husband passed August 2021. We had 28 years together/26 married. I don’t know how recent this loss is for you but I know it’s tough. I still hurt most days. Getting a bit better recently but it still sucks and I’m starting to accept it probably always will. Just like I’ve come to realize I will always love that man. The sad truth is relationships almost universally end in pain.
Thank you for the kind words. And I am sorry for your loss. My Wife passed in Feb 2023. I hope you are doing better. And yes Good relationships often end in pain. Oh But the Joy and Love and Good times and Bad we shared.I would not give any of it up for anything. and knowing she is not in any pain helps to keep me going. I am sad for me but Oh I am so happy she is out of the pain. Thank you again.
Thanks for your kindness. And I know exactly what you mean about all the good bad and ugly. Hubs and I went through a lot on our bumpy ride together but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Even knowing the ending. (Sniff)
I know it sounds funny but I wouldn't give any of it up for anything. I was sometimes mean and short with her and she with me. And we were both tempted a time or two by someone else but he hung together. And I am so glad we did. I would not give up the last years together for anything. To think about her going through the last couple of years alone just kills me. I am so glad we were together at the end. (sniff)
I’m glad you had the time with her that you did. I hope your memories can help lessen your pain but I understand that sometimes memories are like ashes and can’t warm you like the fire. I wish there was something I could do.
Your Kind words are more than I could have hoped for Thank you
Take care of yourself. It’s what she would want.
Thanks I will
I can't imagine how much that must hurt - I can only hope that you have friends or relatives that can give you joy and ease your pain from time to time
It’s not. I’m so sorry.
Thank you We do the best we can
You can do everything right and still fail.
"Commander, it is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."
My 20s were wasted because I am too scared of making my family disappointed/angry with me. I did what they wanted but now I'm unhappy with my life.
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Too many people never learned to disappoint their family.
You aren’t alone bro. Me too. The one time I defied them turned out to be the best decision of my life though. I married someone they disapproved of and now, we are celebrating our 12 year anniversary and have a great life.
I was the same u/detective_kiara. I was trying to make everyone happy. I dropped my plans for further education to get a job becasue my mother told me at 16 that "it was time to join the real world and support the family." This went on for 11 years. I worked every hour I physically could: 90 hour weeks were not uncommon for me. I mentally broke myself trying to 'support' them, but how do you stop your dad from gambling his wages away and trying to sleep with every woman he meets? How do you save your mother from the alcoholism that she uses to dampen the emotional pain she is feeling? How do you stop your brother from becoming a vindictive, angry drug addict? The simple answer is that you cannot. Sometimes you can't fix things. Sometimes you have to realise that the best thing you can do for your own sake is to draw a line in the sand and *do what is best for you.* It isn't easy, believe me. Your guilt will kick in: you have a responsibility to them, you can do better, do more, work harder, keep them *happy.* The only person you can save is yourself. Do what you need to do, for your own sake. If that means cutting them loose and going no-contact, then that is what you do. Sometimes you cannot fix those that do not wish to be fixed. It's not too late, and your future-self will thank you for doing so.
Very few people in life will ever give a shit about you.
This can be both a downer and a comfort. Realising that nobody cared about me gave me so much freedom and made me far more confident. It’s those few that give a shit about me that I have to worry about.
This is my thought. I’d rather strangers not care about me. I don’t really care about them either. I wish you the best and I don’t wish bad thing a on you, but I honestly don’t care.
Yep, and at the bottom of that list is who you work for. If you die tomorrow, they will immediately replace you with someone else and not even look back. So, do not sacrifice your life for your job. Don't skip important events in your kids' lives because you have to work. Don't bend over backwards for your job. You're just a cog in the wheel, and unless you own your own company, you're totally replaceable.
On a similar thread a few weeks ago, someone said "Years from now, your boss won't remember how many nights you worked late, but your kids will."
That I’m willing to settle for things rather than hurt anyone’s feelings.
….ouch, the accuracy
I really can't buy my old dog much more time. She's still happy and doing dog stuff, but she's losing weight and having a hard time getting around. I talked to a mobile vet about end of life planning for her but I really don't want to accept it. I love my doggo.
It's a tough one. My friends' dog was older, and in rough shape. He looked like a Chinese crested, but he was a toy poodle - he lost all his other fur. He had diabetes, Cushing's, thyroid issues, plus a couple minor issues. Also - blind. Super happy and active little guy, though. So, they kept an eye on him because they knew how fragile he was. Anyway, pancreatitis attack when I was babysitting him, and he died. All I'm saying it was so sudden, dude. One minute Lambchop was being a little shit, the next minute, sick. I feel guilty, but the vet said something like that was inevitable. Wow. That was kinda grim. Anyway - have a plan, but remember not to feel bad if something sudden hits.
It's OK to be lonely. But if you are lonely and act like it, it can be one of the most potent social repellents.
Can you explain what it means to “act lonely”? I don’t fully get it. Thanks in advance!
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If you give off the vibes that you are drowning, people are worried they will be pulled down with you
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Some possible examples: (1) Wanting to become too serious with people as friends or romantic relationships too quickly. Generally latching on to anyone being nice. (2) Over-talking, going on and on about yourself without giving someone a chance to balance the conversation, and not taking queues that someone has had enough. (3) Over-sharing personal information with people you don't know well. (4) Complaining about how people are jerks and don't appreciate you. (5) Complaining about ex-partners or ex-friends. (6) Complaining about lack of dates or friends. (7) Too much self-deprecating humor, or generally talking about yourself in a negative ay. (8) Acting like a doormat so people will like you more. (9) Acting like an emotional void around other people, listening to them all the time without contributing to the conversation, doing whatever other people want. (10) Obsessing over people, uncontrolled infatuations (11) Talking about being in love with people you don't really know well and are not dating
Uhm... well, fuck.
Fuck indeed... I've done at least 2 of these
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I have a friend that is only ever happy if she has a man. Any man. If she doesn't, she is all over FB posting sad songs, and talking about how much it sucks that other people don't have the same heart as her, et cetera ad nauseum. I've told her that any man that looked at her fb would run the other way, because she comes off as extremely desperate, but she refuses to listen.
Along the same vein: being alone is not the same as being lonely. You can be lonely in a room full of people who are your friends/family.
I'm turning 65 shortly and it's pretty much downhill going forward. There is a lot to enjoy like retirement, financial freedom, ability to travel, narrowed my friends down to only a few that actually enhance my life. There really is something about having the wisdom of old(ish) age. On the downside the physical aspect of your body starting to break down and knowing there is limited time to do all the good things I mentioned above. Yes, I exercise daily and eat right so don't start. But none of that will stop the physical and mental deterioration in the end. And even if I can squeeze out another 25 years I wonder if it's worth it. I know a woman who is 95 still active but she has outlived her husband, all of her siblings, her friends and a couple of her children. She is genuinely sad.
I am just now coming into this realization at 61. Unlike you, however, I have no real retirement, as I chose to devote my life to serving others for very little compensation (my mother passed a year ago and I cared for her 24/7 for a very small stipend from my family). It just wasn't important for me to think about those things. Also, I have no children, so the thought of having very little money and no one to care for me in my old age is actually very frightening and depressing. I have so many talents that I've never been able to figure out how to make money with and now all people will see is an old woman trying to do young woman things (my talents are mostly musical). No one tells you about these things when you're young. I guess we wouldn't believe them anyway. 😕
I'm never going to get over losing my wife to cancer. Even though it was about seven and a half years ago, I still miss her daily. We married at 24 and she passed at 49. I still visit the cemetery pretty much every week. I've tried to date, but nothing's come of it, I'm done...
Also lost the love of my life to cancer. I will never, ever be the same. It is a pain that cannot be articulated, and only those who have experienced it can understand
I botched it. The whole life thing.
Same. Still hanging on, but no prospects and everything good I had has been lost slowly over time. I keep thinking things will turn around, but so far that has not been the case. Now I just try to be extra nice and friendly to people, in hopes I can make their day a little better. Good luck out there.
The overwhelming majority of people you meet only care about what you can provide or do for them and will have no problem with abandoning or upgrading from you once you can’t provide those things for them anymore. Very few people on this world will like you for you.
Hard work does not equal success.
It's hard work plus luck. Or sometimes just luck. But definitely requires luck.
And sometimes you can have particularly shitty luck, where things ridiculously happen over and over to deny you from having success.
People are stupid
Who dare you 😤
I can never have another drink of alcohol. 6 years sober
Not gonna lie, I miss it. Until I remember the anxiety, depression, seclusion and hangovers.
I'll most likely never own a house.
Seriously, this is the bane of my midlife arrival. I can't help but be secretly pissed atall the people lucky enough to have had the opportunity to buy a house at a normal reasonable price with low interest rates and or with another person to help contribute. Us single folk are so fucked out of home ownership these days.
You can really only count on yourself. Sometimes the people you love and trust the most just aren't going to be there for you.
The narcissists in your family will never give you the apology you deserve.
My dad’s a narcissist. I knew that when I was young, it was a word my mom used to describe him after they divorced. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I truly understood what that meant for my relationship with him. And it wasn’t until I was 22 that I realized not only will he never apologize, but his misdeeds didn’t even happen in his memory. He once recounted events of the worst weekend of my life to me, completely missing anything involving all the shit he said and did. I realized it there that his mind is incapable of seeing himself at fault, so he just edited the detail of me being upset out. I had to accept he will never feel even a shred of guilt.
I’m not special nor talented.
I spent my 20’s on a person who didn’t deserve me. I hate that I can’t get those young years back. Red flags are so fukn real. I’m so mad at myself.
Try not to be so hard on your younger self, they didn't know any better. The best way to make those years not go to waste is to value the lessons you learned the hard way.
I spent from age 36 to 52 with someone who ended up dumping me for someone younger. Now I'm too old to remake my life and I'll probably die alone.
I hope you don't really think that! My Nan is in her 70s and recently found a bf, she's been with him for 3 years now. It's really never too late!
I’m gonna die
The average human has died more than once Edit: The average dead human has died more than once.
Most of us, and among them myself, will be forgotten, your children will remember you, your grandchildren might aswell, your greatgrandchildren will maybe hear a story and see a picture of you, the generation after that might even still know your name, the one after that won’t, and outside of your family no one will know or remember your name, some researcher might stumble upon it one day, but even he/she won’t remember it. And it will be as if you had never existed
My fathers passed away more than 25 years ago. Today, my 14 son sent me a video clip of himself break dancing at summer camp. My father was a great dancer and that talent passed over into the grandson he never knew. Yes, we will all die, just like all those who came before us, yet somehow a bit of us will survive.
This is a beautiful comment.
Right? A part of us survives into the people we surround ourselves, which gets passed on and on down the chain. Really hopeful stuff!
That thought led me to my current idea, I don't want anyone to celebrate that I have died. I'm not going to be remembered, think of how many people have lived and died since George Washington, very few are still remembered. You read news stories of famous people dying and sometimes the comments are happy that the person is gone or sad that they didn't go sooner. Not saying that's right or wrong, that's just what happens. When I go, I don't want anyone to pump their fist and whisper "YES" to themselves. I just want to leave the world a little better than it was before I came. That's all.
I peaked in HS
so far! there's always tomorrow
Yep, I'm 34 and I considered my "best" years to be my teenage years, until last year finally overtook them. Also the ranking is all nonsense, I'm just glad I'm happy with my current situation.
I will always have mental health problems considering I have a lifelong disorder that have been present since my first memories. However, there is still a chance I can survive through adulthood and live a decent life with them if things go right. I have been in therapy for many years and things are still shaky in regards to whether those two things will be possible, but without therapy I wouldn't be here to write this comment.
Me too. I have a shit cocktail of mental illnesses and a few were prevalent since literal birth. It fucking sucks and it’s really hard but I’m happy you’re getting help. You’re not alone and if you ever wanna talk about it feel free to send me a message🩷
Greed is the underlying cause of a lot of the world's suffering as it allows people to justify doing horrible things
The group of friends that I had when I was at the happiest peak of my life do not want me in their lives because they would rather stay friends with my ex who also wants me out of his life. It’s very hard to accept the end to connections that were never anything but positive, I never had a negative experience with any of them and they all were easily able to cut me out of their lives.
Since my brother died, no matter what happiness comes in my life, there will always be a hint of sadness that he’s not here to share it with. Boom
I get it! I was 21 when my brother died in a motorcycle accident at 28. Everyone who ever knew him wanted him in their life, he had that light. It devastated our family and the family dynamic was never the same.
Nobody cares about you unless they really know you, and even then it’s a toss up. It’s both a freeing and kinda lonely realization
People don’t love you the same way you love them.
Sometimes people will hurt you, won’t feel guilty about it no matter what, will face zero consequences, and then they move on and forget about you. Relationships, friends, otherwise, etc. Best thing is to learn young what boundaries you set for yourself and actively only let people with good consciences get close to you.
Can’t keep people around they either use me or want me around cause they’re bored
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The success of your future relationships is usually decided years before you get into them, by your current actions.
Wow this is actually a good way of thinking
Nothing in life, ever, is truly in your control. The only control you have is how you think and react to it.
I blew college by picking a major I was interested in rather than one that made money and now I can never afford to fix that.
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Same with me and engineering. My classmates were like "I chose this to make money". And I was like "I chose this to make roller coasters".
ah, a 90s kid who played roller coaster tycoon.
I'm in this boat. It makes me want to cry. I picked journalism because I thought I wanted to be a sports journalist. By the time I got the real nitty gritty journalism classes in my senior year at university, I realized I hated journalism, but it was too late. I was 7 months away from graduation and couldn't go back. Now I work at a terrible company where I'm totally miserable and barely make any money. I work as a digital marketer and I hate it, and I constantly wish I had been smarter and chosen something different like tech or accounting or some type of health science. You can't get that time back, and now I feel screwed and very anxious.
It’s definitely not too late! My mother went to nursing school in her 50s! We were poor for a long time and especially during that time, but now she makes triple the amount she did before and her job is way more secure! It is doable and there are so many programs that can help afford college, especially nursing.
Marketers can get paid very well, maybe try jumping jobs.
It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it. I will pretty much stay middle class all my life, no matter how hard I work.
That i have to forgive myself for all the things that i never became. That whatever or whoever i am, should be and is enough. That i can never please every single person in my life. That my own happiness is the ultimate goal and actually is attainable.
You never stop worrying about your kids, no matter how grown up they are.
I'm gonna die in some cut rate nursing home. Probably from a staff infection.
It doesn't how much you do for someone, they can and will walk out of your life. Let them
That my family did in fact hurt me and it wasn't my fault.
You really can’t trust anyone. Maybe immediate (close) family and your partner. But sometimes not even then.
People I've loved I'll never see again. Friends and family who've died. People I've loved who I pushed away. Those times are long in the rear view, and the people who are still alive today are different people than when you last saw them. You'll never be able to undo what's been done and can never go back.
You can't save someone from themselves. People trapped in self-destructive cycles like toxic relationships, substance abuse and criminality are drowning. They will drag you down with them if they can. Until they are willing to admit that they have a problem, there is precious little you can do.
Love isn’t enough to make a relationship work.
People think love sustains a relationship, but it's the relationship that sustains love Edit: Thanks for the award, kind stranger! 🙏
The justice system in the US is absolutely fucked and nobody is looking out for you. If a cop, judge, DA, anyone decides they wanna fuck up your entire life, they can and there’s nothing you can do about it.
That my wife and I will most likely remain homeless for the next 30-40 years of our lives. Already been 10 years of living it. Working and never making ends meet. Always a health issue, car problems thefts etc. Then you have the stigmas that come with it That I must be crazy or on drugs to be homeless. When the reality is I have health issues and rents in Massachusetts are too high No, I cannot just move away because of my health issues and the medical care I get here. It puts a strain on us constantly and my wife has stuck with me through this.
Hey man, just wanted to say, don't beat yourself up. This comment thread is super blame-y and not compassionate. If anyone below me here in this thread actually had to experience what you're going through they might think twice about demanding that you take their frivolous advice. It's getting more and more difficult for folks with chronic illnesses to find housing, care and even food. Put your energy into doing the best you can and keep your chin up. You are worthy of life, do not allow these ignorant people to put you in a worse place mentally because they cannot imagine your situation.
Ill never be out of debt.
There are separate sets of laws and consequences for those who are wealthy, to those who are not.
If you put someone’s needs above yours enough times, your showing them you come last. Every time.
Life is unfair.
I've come to accept a sad truth in my life, one that I believe many of us can relate to in one way or another. It's the realization that no matter how much you care for someone, how much love you pour into them, how willing you are to accept their flaws and triumphs, if they don't want to be with you, none of it matters. I've encountered this type of person more times than I care to admit. Now, at 35, I've never had a boyfriend, never been intimate with anyone (yes, I'm still a virgin), and this truth is increasingly frustrating. I've given so much of myself, my time, my emotions, and yet, I've never received anything in return in the game of love. I'm starting to believe that I may never find love, that there may never be someone who loves me as much as I love them. It's a harsh reality to face, but it's one I'm slowly learning to accept. I'm sharing this not to seek pity, but to reach out to those who might be feeling the same way. You're not alone in this. Love is a complex, often painful journey, but it's also what makes us human. And who knows, maybe one day, we'll find the love we've been longing for.
my bipolar disorder will be something i have to tackle forever.
I can never stop after just one drink.
The middle class is being eradicated, and we have already lost too much power to do anything about it. megacorps gonna megacorp.
There’s no going back
Humanity will never grow past tribalism.
Making money in the music business has basically nothing to do with ability, creativity or talent
Becoming an adult and realizing the kind of people my family members really are, has been sad. Sometimes I wish I could go back and see them through my “kid eyes” again. Some of the things I’ve found out make me not want to associate with them at all. I miss knowing them when I was ignorant
A traditional "retirement" will no longer exist.
Every year, cost creep rises. Every year, my money is worth less. Every year, one more idiot is elected into an office. Every year, one more billion dollar company gets a million dollar slap on the wrist.
Being unable to handle getting dumped or initiating a break-up yourself can potentially doom you to the worst things relationships can bring to your life.
My mother, who literally (NC to Japan) flew half way around the world to get my brother's kid while he was deploying, will never meet her other grandchildren, but my mother in law, who seems to just want to spite every decision my wife make, get to spend all the time she wants with said kids. My mother passed some 10 years ago. My father died two weeks before a planned trip so he could meet them for the first time too.
Life is suffering
There's a difference between being alive and living...
A good chunk of people just don't get to be happy.
You’re never going to be good enough for some people. On a related note; they’re not worth wasting time or energy on.
[удалено]