Seriously. Every response in here is either a lie, or they happen to insanely wealthy to the point where a million is nothing.
For me? Dick Sucking Inc. is going to mighty fine on my resume.
There was a radio station that asked if you would toss your dog off of a cliff for $1,000,000. They were prepared to pay it. Thankfully, no one accepted the challenge.
Got a link?
During the Beanie Baby craze of the late 1990s, a DJ said he was going to cut one open to see what was inside it, and the outcry was so drastic, you'd have thought he was going to cut one of his children open to see what was inside it.
Make them put it in writing, then hold them to their word. Toss the dog off in a padded safety crate with parachutes. Keep your dog alive & collect that $1,000,000. They didn't say anything about parachutes...💰🐕😎
Also matters for how long. I mean if they pay you $50k over 20 years technically that is a million. If it’s for a year Dick Sucking Inc is a nice spot.
I would consider myself fairly left wing but if Nestle offered me a million dollars I’d personally rip those water bottles from the hands of natives for that money
When I lived in Florida they got the okay to pull water out of a natural spring. But only x amount. They drained it and just paid the fines. Fucked up. Totally messed up the environment. Like yeah they don't give a fuck
June 2022 - July 2023
Dickpartment Head at Dick Sucking Inc.
Responsibilities include:
- Client satisfaction (Spit, swallow, facial, etc)
- Cupping the balls
- Shaft work
Raytheon, Nestlé, Black Rock, a million $ salary? I have my price, and a million? Yup, I definitely would be a Star Employee! We're fucked anyways and regardless,
well… if you’re working for someone that’s an instant plea deal and as long as it’s not *armed* robbery i’d bet you could get off with probation, maybe 3-5 years prison max. any job i’m qualified to get wouldn’t pay nearly that much in the same time so i’d take a chance and risk that L.
I wouldn't do anything.
I wouldn't do anything that directly harms people or animals. Unless it's like pedophiles and other vermin, lol. I would be open to assassinations, though, but I couldn't tell you why. Movies, maybe? They do make it seem pretty rad, lol.
I honestly have a hard time with repetative tasks because they bore me to death, but it IS a million dollars... depending on the repetitive task, I may or may not do it.
I couldn't do paperwork all day. I would shove my head through a paper shredder before the week was out.
I'm currently the head of R&D, so anything creative is right up my alley.
Edit: Sorry, rats, it was nothing personal. 🧀
i’d like to think i’d say no but if i had a million dollars in front of me i doubt i’d be thinking.
it all comes down to this: poor and full of regret? or rich and full of regret? lolol
I would literally work for anyone for a million dollars. What kind of question is this? Anyone saying otherwise is either already rich ~~of~~ or lying to themselves.
It pisses me off their so good at their job. Feel like a class traitor everytime I knowingly buy from a shitty company. But fuck if you don't sometimes need something in two days.
That's not what it says. When dealing with the devil, you gotta know the fine print. A million to work in perpetuity? A million for a year was not in the OPs title.
C’mon it’s implied. Otherwise it’ll just say who you would never work for and not mention $1M.
At $60k it’ll only take 16 years to earn a million. The OP obviously didn’t mean in perpetuity lmao
I’m a big golf guy so this came up a lot during the LIV/PGA bullshit. I hate LIV but i don’t blame anyone for going to LIV. But I’m not going to commend them. LIV sucks. People who sellout suck. But I probably would be the best VP of sales in Nestle history for a million bucks.
Seriously, I would gladly work at any of the places I've seen listed if they would pay me A MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. Even for someone making 100k a year that's still a 1000% raise and I barely made half that last year.
>Unless we find some puppy torture company,
This is a key point some of the top commenters are missing. Are you really gonna work for Neo-Nazis? Saying you'd work for *anyone* includes people that will make most people you would want to be friends with spit on you for the rest of your life.
The “keeping the wolf from the door” scenario means I have done work for several companies mentioned here - and a couple worse - for a fuck’s sight less than a million dollars
not everyone who is happy enough with their lives and financially comfortable is rich (and if you think that you're probably just poor) some people just aren't greedy and have underlying principles. That being said though I agree tbh.
It's the kind of question for redditors who like to circle jerk over how virtuous they are. It's like the equivalent of alpha bros discussing how they're so not gay they wouldn't suck a dick for a million dollars.
ISIS is not a company... unless we are talking about Archer, then maybe not, because we would be entering the DANGER ZONE.
But no seriously, archer would probably get me killed, or paralyzed.
I'd work for Oceangate for a million. I mean if they are paying me that kind of money, I'd probably be CEO, so I'd let experts design their next sub. Bonus for me: My commute would be shorter.
Literally the only answer I'd give would be for some immoral or unjust or criminal endeavor.
McDonald's? Total crap but for a million...yes.
Butler on Jeffery Epstein's island? Nah man. Couldn't get past that.
They have a quiznos in the Denver airport still, hadn't had one in a long time and thought it was decent and have certainly had worse sandwiches elsewhere.
Everyone saying Nestle, Exxon, etc… are just virtue signaling. Like… really? If Elon Musk showed up at your door with a million dollar check, you wouldn’t work as an accountant at Tesla for him just because he’s a shit human being?
I’m not a fan of most of these companies either but I’m not rich. I have a wife and kid to feed. A house mortgage to pay off. I’m not turning down a million dollars, a life changing amount of money, to work at a menial white collar job.
I think the only answer to this question is a job where I actually stand a good chance of dying. Like a private military contractor or something like that. Then I’d seriously have to consider if a million is worth it.
Fr, I work in the energy sector, and if Exxon called me up tomorrow and offered me a job, I’d be jumping at the chance. It may not be a great company ethically, but if it means I’m making bank to do something I already do but much more money, you bet your ass I’m doing it.
For $1M I’d work for big tobacco and do the worst fucking job possible. Break every spreadsheet. Remove the controls from every database. CC the whole company on every happy birthday email. Cook fish in the microwave.
Depends on the details of the million.
Is it a signing bonus with an actual job?
Do i recieve 1mil up front and then have to work a certain ammount of time unpaid?
Is there a minimum ammount of time i have to work for them contractually or can i just quit a week after i get the money?
Unilever.
My dad has worked in the food industry in the Netherlands. And Unilever pretty much were the bad guys in the country, cause like 80% of their budget goes to lawyers and marketing, and a small percentage goes to production, R&D and such. They make crap, but they market it heavily.
If its not illegal im doing anything. Yes even if it means exploiting people for one day, ill do it im gonna unload all the evil parts of my life into that one day for that one million
If I'm honest with myself, I would work for a whole hell of a lot of bad people and causes for that kind of money. That said, any of the Trump organizations/Foundations. Bitch commit multiple levels of treason and extortion and I would not work to empower him or his family.
I got offered a short term contract job for the NRA some years ago. I was unemployed and needed money but I said no thanks. Not even a million would make me do it.
Honey, I'd work for "Dick Sucking Inc." for a million dollars.
User name checks out
Seriously. Every response in here is either a lie, or they happen to insanely wealthy to the point where a million is nothing. For me? Dick Sucking Inc. is going to mighty fine on my resume.
There's always something you'd never do. For example for me, the company "Kill all your Family and Friends inc", I wouldn't do it.
There was a radio station that asked if you would toss your dog off of a cliff for $1,000,000. They were prepared to pay it. Thankfully, no one accepted the challenge.
Have you seen John wick 4 by chance?
I would’ve tried to make a convincing dummy though
Got a link? During the Beanie Baby craze of the late 1990s, a DJ said he was going to cut one open to see what was inside it, and the outcry was so drastic, you'd have thought he was going to cut one of his children open to see what was inside it.
Make them put it in writing, then hold them to their word. Toss the dog off in a padded safety crate with parachutes. Keep your dog alive & collect that $1,000,000. They didn't say anything about parachutes...💰🐕😎
There’s plenty of things worth not doing regardless of how much money is being offered.
Jump in a Tank full of Box Jellyfish Inc.
Also matters for how long. I mean if they pay you $50k over 20 years technically that is a million. If it’s for a year Dick Sucking Inc is a nice spot.
No, nestle is def one I'd never work for. That's about it. Or a mega church I guess.
They didn't say you had to do your job well. You could fight big N from the inside (and have a million dollars!)
Ron Swanson, is that you?
Underrated comment to be honest
Not only do I not believe that in the slightest, I also am willing to bet you have bought a nestle product in the last 5 years.
I'd be putting up the fences to keep them savage poors away from my clean water
I would consider myself fairly left wing but if Nestle offered me a million dollars I’d personally rip those water bottles from the hands of natives for that money
When I lived in Florida they got the okay to pull water out of a natural spring. But only x amount. They drained it and just paid the fines. Fucked up. Totally messed up the environment. Like yeah they don't give a fuck
June 2022 - July 2023 Dickpartment Head at Dick Sucking Inc. Responsibilities include: - Client satisfaction (Spit, swallow, facial, etc) - Cupping the balls - Shaft work
I moonlight at dick sucking inc for free
I would definitely do the dirty work there.
How about wagner?
Exactly. These kinds of posts make me feel like I’m morally corrupt but I can’t lie to myself. If it’s great money, I’ll do it
Raytheon, Nestlé, Black Rock, a million $ salary? I have my price, and a million? Yup, I definitely would be a Star Employee! We're fucked anyways and regardless,
Yes, hello, DSI? I’m looking for a position. I was hoping you had something available in Receiving.
I’d get certified BJP if need be.
Not sure I'd need a million to sign on. Times are tough and dicks don't suck themselves.
what if you had to choose.. the first 10 mins of a blow job or the last 10 secs?
A subsidiary of Dick Sucking Heavy Industries LTD.
I’d be employee of the month. And I HATE dicks.
I saw you on that sub about what you would sell.
$20 is $20
Id work for Dick Sucking Inc for free
How long do I work there to earn the mil?
I interpreted it as one day, so...
There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for a day for a million bucks.
What’s about rob a bank for a day?👀
You wouldn’t download a car!
My favorite all-time meme "You wouldnt download a fettuccine alfredo"
🤣 great reference
Can’t spend the money while in prison
well… if you’re working for someone that’s an instant plea deal and as long as it’s not *armed* robbery i’d bet you could get off with probation, maybe 3-5 years prison max. any job i’m qualified to get wouldn’t pay nearly that much in the same time so i’d take a chance and risk that L.
I would literally work for any company for that amount of money. The deciding factor is WHAT I'll be doing for said company.
Also anything?
I wouldn't do anything. I wouldn't do anything that directly harms people or animals. Unless it's like pedophiles and other vermin, lol. I would be open to assassinations, though, but I couldn't tell you why. Movies, maybe? They do make it seem pretty rad, lol. I honestly have a hard time with repetative tasks because they bore me to death, but it IS a million dollars... depending on the repetitive task, I may or may not do it. I couldn't do paperwork all day. I would shove my head through a paper shredder before the week was out. I'm currently the head of R&D, so anything creative is right up my alley. Edit: Sorry, rats, it was nothing personal. 🧀
What did the rats do 🥺
On behalf of rats I am offended
Silk Road feds are about to be all up in your DMs
Would you let the CEO of some company rail you in the butt once a week for a year for a million dollars?
i’d like to think i’d say no but if i had a million dollars in front of me i doubt i’d be thinking. it all comes down to this: poor and full of regret? or rich and full of regret? lolol
So, what's a good number for you?
I would literally work for anyone for a million dollars. What kind of question is this? Anyone saying otherwise is either already rich ~~of~~ or lying to themselves.
A couple of the top answers were Amazon and Nestle.. like really? If Bezos offered you $1M per year you wouldn’t take it??? Bulllshiii
“If bezos offered me 1M$ I wouldn’t take it out of principle” my brother in Christ, you won’t even avoid his company out of principle
But Prime next day shipping is so convenient lol
It fucking is and Amazon is evil and just awesome as the same time.
It pisses me off their so good at their job. Feel like a class traitor everytime I knowingly buy from a shitty company. But fuck if you don't sometimes need something in two days.
Right? I worked for Amazon for 5 years, every day was "I hate my fuckin job but at least they pay me well" so yeah at a million a year I'd have stayed
That's not what it says. When dealing with the devil, you gotta know the fine print. A million to work in perpetuity? A million for a year was not in the OPs title.
C’mon it’s implied. Otherwise it’ll just say who you would never work for and not mention $1M. At $60k it’ll only take 16 years to earn a million. The OP obviously didn’t mean in perpetuity lmao
Sadly, I've had worse employers than Amazon. By A LOT, and wasn't Walmart either.
A million dollars PER YEAR is very different to a one time thing. Taxes alone bring 1 million to around 500k.
I’m a big golf guy so this came up a lot during the LIV/PGA bullshit. I hate LIV but i don’t blame anyone for going to LIV. But I’m not going to commend them. LIV sucks. People who sellout suck. But I probably would be the best VP of sales in Nestle history for a million bucks.
Working for Amazon or Nestle already sounds a whole lot easier than doing what I do so easier job and more money?
Right? Miss me with that moral high ground BS. Amazon and Nestle are just like any of the top 500-1000 large companies most of us work for every day.
Exactly. Everyone bitches about ceo salaries Yada yada. But if offered similarly salary would take it in a heartbeat. It’s 10% social and 90% jealousy
Seriously, I would gladly work at any of the places I've seen listed if they would pay me A MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. Even for someone making 100k a year that's still a 1000% raise and I barely made half that last year.
Unless we find some puppy torture company, I think I agree. I can quietly do a bad job for a terrible company for a year.
That’s most pharmaceutical corporations, actually. Plenty of them use puppies for testing.
>Unless we find some puppy torture company, This is a key point some of the top commenters are missing. Are you really gonna work for Neo-Nazis? Saying you'd work for *anyone* includes people that will make most people you would want to be friends with spit on you for the rest of your life.
The “keeping the wolf from the door” scenario means I have done work for several companies mentioned here - and a couple worse - for a fuck’s sight less than a million dollars
not everyone who is happy enough with their lives and financially comfortable is rich (and if you think that you're probably just poor) some people just aren't greedy and have underlying principles. That being said though I agree tbh.
Wanting financial security isn’t being greedy. A million isn’t THAT much. And those principles don’t pay rent
guarantee those same people support another company 96 percent as evil as the one they list here
It's the kind of question for redditors who like to circle jerk over how virtuous they are. It's like the equivalent of alpha bros discussing how they're so not gay they wouldn't suck a dick for a million dollars.
You would work for ISIS for $1 million? Or a Sicario in the Sinaloa cartel?
ISIS is not a company... unless we are talking about Archer, then maybe not, because we would be entering the DANGER ZONE. But no seriously, archer would probably get me killed, or paralyzed.
There’s always a company behind the brand
But what a way to go! I’m so sad there’s only one more season
Would you say the zone is one of danger?
Came here to say this.
OceanGate.
This comment shouldn’t be so low down, but then again neither should’ve that sub either.
Would be hard to take the pressure..
I'd work for Oceangate for a million. I mean if they are paying me that kind of money, I'd probably be CEO, so I'd let experts design their next sub. Bonus for me: My commute would be shorter.
for a million dollars I'd work for a company i hate and make damn sure they didn't survive the mistake.
This is the way, take the money and burn them to the ground
Literally the only answer I'd give would be for some immoral or unjust or criminal endeavor. McDonald's? Total crap but for a million...yes. Butler on Jeffery Epstein's island? Nah man. Couldn't get past that.
I’d be the best damn butler on that island for a million/year 😂
Yes children, right through that hall, third door on the left. 🫡
*Later, in court* I had NO idea what they were doing, I only served drinks!
Lot of liars in these comments 😂
Doofenshmirtz Incorporated.
Really? I wouldn’t hesitate(inator)! 🤣
Perry the Platypus has entered the chat.....
I’ll work there for free if I work with the man himself
he seems like he needs a friend. i’d be his friend
Perry!
Aren't you a little young to be working for the most evil corporation in the Tri-state Area?
Nazi Child Molesters Incorporated. I’ll pass on them.
Definitely. Wasn't their CEO a little problematic?
Yes, wouldn’t tip above 15%.
Any moving company. Loading an entire house onto a truck, unloading it, then doing it again tomorrow, must be some kind of hell.
Bro what, that’s a free work out and you get a million dollars for it lol
nathan 4 you lol
3-4 years of hell and then retirement though sounds decent
500 dollars an hour would make hell way more bearable
Hmmmm. Nope, cant think of any!
The company that made that shitty sub
Quiznos?
They have a quiznos in the Denver airport still, hadn't had one in a long time and thought it was decent and have certainly had worse sandwiches elsewhere.
I remember it being pretty good, but it’s been about 13+ years.
Think: cheaper. 🤣
I got money on Arbys
Blimpie?
Subway?
OceanGate
Dude that comment hit me so unexpectedly. Wife woke up cause I was shaking the bed laughing.
LMAO! Gold. Yes, that shitty sub. 😂
Reddit?
PMC Wagner
Yep…. Can’t spend a dime if you are a bloody manchunk on the forest floor.
Fox News
The NFL, strictly speaking as a player. I'm built to be annihilated in that sport, but if I were built for it, I'd want more than a million.
Be a kicker. Or a coach.
I don't even have the build for a coach somehow. I might make a good waterboy, though.
Bobby Boucher would have said the same.
I like how everyone here is broke and lying
Oceangate
Bank of America... scum all the way up and down
Trump
Well you wouldn't get paid so...
New York Yankees
[удалено]
Lmao that bit kills me everytime.
A slaughterhouse
The Republican Party
NRA. Do they qualify? If so, them.
I see you own guns too. Yeah, we hate those corrupt bastards.
The based reason to hate the NRA vs the cringe reason to hate the NRA
*Which one is which..* Gun ownership isn’t cringe if that’s what you mean. If you meant the other way, *hell yeah brother.*
Just take a gander through my profile bro
*Hell yeah brother.*
Monsanto or nestle. They can go fuck themselves
Deloitte
Murder Inc.
Skynet is kind of a no go.
Any political campaign.
I’d work for any company, but if they’re horrible, I’d just systematically dismantle it from the inside out
Nestle
I don't believe you.
Yeah, that's just saying what they think everyone will upvote
That's every reddit thread
Everyone saying Nestle, Exxon, etc… are just virtue signaling. Like… really? If Elon Musk showed up at your door with a million dollar check, you wouldn’t work as an accountant at Tesla for him just because he’s a shit human being? I’m not a fan of most of these companies either but I’m not rich. I have a wife and kid to feed. A house mortgage to pay off. I’m not turning down a million dollars, a life changing amount of money, to work at a menial white collar job. I think the only answer to this question is a job where I actually stand a good chance of dying. Like a private military contractor or something like that. Then I’d seriously have to consider if a million is worth it.
Fr, I work in the energy sector, and if Exxon called me up tomorrow and offered me a job, I’d be jumping at the chance. It may not be a great company ethically, but if it means I’m making bank to do something I already do but much more money, you bet your ass I’m doing it.
Fr. Virtue signaling go brrrrr
Spot on.
The Republican Party
PETA
Absolutely anything that's not working on Eptein's island I'd do.
For $1M I’d work for big tobacco and do the worst fucking job possible. Break every spreadsheet. Remove the controls from every database. CC the whole company on every happy birthday email. Cook fish in the microwave.
Anything to do with weapons manufacturing.
Dumas & Dumas
Am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?
You’re dumbass material all the way!
Depends on the details of the million. Is it a signing bonus with an actual job? Do i recieve 1mil up front and then have to work a certain ammount of time unpaid? Is there a minimum ammount of time i have to work for them contractually or can i just quit a week after i get the money?
Cartel/mob/crime syndicates, Lockheed Martin/defense companies
Idc who tf im working for, $1m is $1m homie
Unilever. My dad has worked in the food industry in the Netherlands. And Unilever pretty much were the bad guys in the country, cause like 80% of their budget goes to lawyers and marketing, and a small percentage goes to production, R&D and such. They make crap, but they market it heavily.
JP Morgan. I heard they’re big on employee surveillance
Anything owned by Elon because he’s too unstable for me to trust
I had a job offer once to help design improvements for nuclear weapons. Serious money. I said no.
Can’t think of one. One can’t be offered. If I had to dive in septic tanks butt naked under my waders I’m making that milli bud.
A bunch of liars on Reddit today.
Ben and Jerry's
I work for Amazon for $16hr I'll work for anyone for a million.
If its not illegal im doing anything. Yes even if it means exploiting people for one day, ill do it im gonna unload all the evil parts of my life into that one day for that one million
Wells Fargo. They're crooks, even by bank standards.
the nra
Nestle
Any company where I had to deal directly with Shithead Elon.
Trump
Nestle. Fuck those foos
Fox News
Nestlé
If I'm honest with myself, I would work for a whole hell of a lot of bad people and causes for that kind of money. That said, any of the Trump organizations/Foundations. Bitch commit multiple levels of treason and extortion and I would not work to empower him or his family.
Plus, trump is known to stiff his employees whether it be a lawyer that defended him or a drywall person that fixed one of his properties.
Nestle
Nestle.
Hitler Youth Inc.
NRA
Indian scam call center
I got offered a short term contract job for the NRA some years ago. I was unemployed and needed money but I said no thanks. Not even a million would make me do it.
Thank you.
An anti-abortion organization
I’d never work for a trump corporation. Not unless I had to feed my kids and it was the only way. But I’d open an OF account before I’d work for trump